Newspaper Page Text
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VOLUME 111.
DEMOCRACY
WINS THE FIGHT!!!!
the cohorts of corruption go
DOWN TO RISE NO MORE.
THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES
BRING IN THE VERDICT:
‘ TDM THE RASCALS OUT!”
CLEVELAND TALKS! 1
GKAND OLD TOM HENDRICKS!
THE NOBLEST OF ALL.
ONCE MORE FREE!!
after twenty years of misrule.
The good news and glad tidings that
Cleveland and Hendricks, the democratic
nominees for president and vice-president
of the United States, have been elected
by the people to fill those high offices, has
sent a thrill of enthusiastic joy over the
south. The same feeling was experienced
in ’7O, when the great Fraud was put into
Samuel J. Tilden’s seat. But that thing
will not be repeated, and, after the 4th of
next March, Grover Cleveland will hold
the reins of this government in his hands*
The solid south went democratic, and
the north, east and west were largely di
vided, as the official returns, given else
where, will show.
Below we give in full some of the tele
grams that were received by the Atlanta
Constitution. The news came in slowly,
as the defeated republicans kept back the
truth as long as they could.
WHAT MANNING CLAIMS.
Albany, N. Y., November 7. —1:15 a. m.
By Associated Press—ln an interview
with the Troy Telegram reported to-night
Daniel Manning said:
“I think Cleveland has carried New
York by 1,500 plurality.”
The Albany Argus says :
"The declaration of a canvassing board
of a state ir.*k .*s the returns of that state
valid ; also the only certificate of its elec
tlal vote which is receivable. The can
vassing boards of the democratic states
will let no fraudulent and false vote3 be
lyingly declared the vote of that state,
but the vote will be declared, certified and
sent forward. The democratic house of
representatives will let none other than
the true vote be counted. To Mr. Blaine
it is just as well that these facts be told
now. No fraudulent commission will put
James G. Blaine in the White House or
keep Grover Cleveland out of it. Let
him who attempts it be killed. The legal
consequence of killing him will be taken
care of afterwards.
CLEVELAND TALKS.
Grover Cleveland said:
“I believe I have been elected president,
and nothing but the grossest Jraud can
keep me out of it, and that we will not
permit.”
General Carr, secretary of state, who
lives in trov, was seen at his home this
evening. He said:
“There is no chance of stealing this
state, not as long as I have charge ol
affairs. I don’t propose that anybody
shall steal the state. If Mr. Cleveland has
a plurality, large or small, he will get it.
The same is true of either of the other can
didates. 1 don’t propose to play any elec
toral commission game. No matter
whether it is friend or foe with me, he hat
to have his justice.
A LAME EXCUSE.
New York, November 7.—{By the
Associated Press.] —To prevent misappre
hensions as to the apparent conflict he*
tween the earlier returns of the day and
those sent out later to-night, it is to,be
explained that the earlier footings were
made from the district returns, while the
later ones were corrected by the footings
of the various county darks. The foot
ings from the districts, so far, gives about
800 plurality for Blaine. As revised by
the aid of the county clerk’s totals they
would give nearly one thousand for
Cleveland. Both these footings will be
furnished to-morrow, as soon as they can
be added again, and choice may be taken
between the county clerks footings and
those of the associated press. The only
reason that the former are more likely to
be correct is that telegraphic errors may
have caused some mistakes in the district
returns.
THE LATEST FIGURES, AS COMPUTED BY
TnE NEW YORK ASSOCIATED PRESS.
New York, November 8,1 a.m.—-By As
sociated Press.] —On a careful review of
the figures by districts, as furnished by
the agents of the Associated Press, cor
rected by the returns received during the
day so as to bring the record down to this
time, the total vote of the state stands —
For Blaine, 558,426.
For Cleveland, 559,806.
There are eighteen districts from which
returns are still behind or questioned.
These in 1880 gave Garfield a plurality of
786. The counties in which the lacking
districts are located are Essex, Madison,
Saratoga, Sullivan and Ulster counties.
Cleveland’s election conceded.
Augusta, Ga., November, 7.—[Special.]
The following telegram just received:
Patrick Walsh, National Democratic
Committee: “It is now conceded on all
sides that Cleveland is elected. His ma
jority in New York is not less than 1,000.
Signed A. P. Gorman.
Patrick Walsh.
Belva Lockwood is not disappointed
any way.
The buzzy season of the mosquito is
about over.
A cat concert on the back shed by moon
light, is rather amew-sing.
Women may not be deep thinkers but
they are generally clothes observers.
Queen Victoria couldn’t appoint all the
great men who wanted the position to be
Viceroy of India, but she got one Duffer-in.
Sitting Bull gets S2OO a month for ex
hibiting himself. It pays to assassinate
United States generals. “Shame, where
is thy blush V”
It'Ghieago wore suddenly to drop out of
existence some paragraphers would be
stranded, because they write most of their
items by the Chicago foot.
Wm. 11. English, of Indiana, says he is
out of politics. It would seem to run in
the family, us his son, not being able to
get back to congress, is out too.
It is stated that the empress of Germauy
has not been able to walk for over a year.
There are lots of women who have not
been able to ride for a longer time than
that.
General Burd Grubb lives in New Jer
sey. He must be a “worm o’ the dust,”
for bird grub is worms.
Fishermen are no longer afflicted with
strabismus; at. least they do not now have
a cast in their eyes.
A great many candidates are out ol
their misery, and will now have a chance
to wash off the mud and build up anew
character.
Sarah Bernhardt may be a great actress
but she certainly needs to adipose.
A man in Georgia has three mothers-in
law. It takes a good deal to kill a Geor
giau-a
As blonds have gone out of fashion
there are many lqjht haired girls vho art
willing to dye.
CARTERS'VILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 1884.
After Thought*.
Speaking of politics reminds us that
the weather is very cool. The zephyrs
come whirling from the northwest, feel
ing as though they had been spit at us
through the teeth of a snow-storm.
They are chilly enough to restore the
equilibrum temporarily destroyed by the
politic;.! news <f the past few days; but
not chilly enough, let us hope, to nip en
thusiasm in the bud. It is true that the
right sort of weather is c ilculated to go
a great wav, but a gale, with a touch in
it *;f the Arctic regions, is calculated to
drive enthusiflßn inward like measles,
and the result is pretty much the same
s in measles.
Howbeit, after an election as hotly
contested as that of last Tuesday, the
country ought to congratulate itself that
it remains right side up with care; and
it is no doubt best fur all concerned that
the snow-flavored winds should c me to
cool the perspiring brows of expectation
and anxiety. The campaign is over, aid
there is some consolation in that. We
shall hear no more of the campaign ora
tor and liis stupendous array of figures
showing that the republican party lias
developed the country by protecting it
on one side and robbing it on the other.
We shall hear no more that Chaffee is in
Florida with a pocket full of rocks, and
even little Billy Chandler will disappear
in the hole that the accommodating Rob
inson left in the navy department.
Best of all, the iniquitous Ben Butler
will disappear from the scene to be lieai’d
of no more, save as a sand-popper is
heard of. George Alfred Gath, the
great republican scribe, who will have it
that the reformer is a Pharisee, and that
all truly great men are more or less im
moral, will turn the attention of liis ac
complished stenographer to ancient, his
tory and biography, giving to each a zest
not to be found in his political peach
ments. We shall hear uo more of Doo
dle Dudley and his corruption, at least
fur a season, and we confidently expect
Dr. Joseph Meddle, of the Chicago Trib
une, to put on his red flannel night cap,
draw the foot-balance of his bedstead
around him, and betake himself to pleas
a it dreams.
Moreover, we confidently expect that
Deacon Smith, of Cincinnati, will go
down on his knees behind a standing-gal
ley, containing seven of Mr. M. Hal
stead’s rejected editorials, and ask the
Lord to forgive him for slandering the
southern people. Editor Watterson will
doubtless admit, between two slices of
Louisville pie and a glass < f hot lemon
side, that free trade is no longer an issue
of the campaign.
In brief, while a political contest is a
good thing to have, it is a good thing to
get through with. People want a rest,
a id when the time for argument has
past, they have a reasonable excuse f r
sitting before the fire aid roasting chest
nuts or popcorn for the children. It will
ccur to us all presently that thanksgiv
i ig day is close at hand, and then the
turkey comes iu for consideration —u
fowl that will prove to be, let us hope, a
fitter rascal than Brother Blaine. Then,
after thanksgiving day is over, we shall
be compelled to turn our attention to
Christmas, u:.d thoughts id Christmas
will drive out all memories of the Cam
paign. It v. ill be sufficient to remember
that both candidates escaped with their
lives. —Coi stitutiou.
Belva Lockwosd is immediately going
into bankruptcy. She bet twenty-seven
bonnets on her election. They cost eigh
teen dollars each. Poor Belva !
A Reviewer says: “Mrs. Lamb opens
her Magazine of American History for
November with an article on ‘Unsuccess
ful Presidential Candidates.” ’ She does,
eh? We’ll bet two to one that she open
ed it with a button-hook or a cheese knife.
A pillow-sham—A boarding house pil
low.
SOMETHING ABOUT SMILES.
An Earnest Plea tor the Ise of Anaesthetics in
the Photographist's Studfo.
BILL NYE.
There are many vanities of the genus
smiles. There’s the smile that is child
like and bland, the cultivated smile, and
tlie plebian smile that ripples forth like
the first joyous laugh of the boiler-facto
ry, and that spreads out with the gurgle
that closes the eyes, trots out the wisdom
teeth, and then shows a roguish dimple
iu the ionsiis.
There might be enumerated also the
classical smile, the subdued smile, the
parlor smile, the sacred smile, the be
fore-elt ebon, smile, the after-election
smile and the smile that ycnjget two for
a q tarter, called the twofor smile.
Then we have the stage smile and the
portrait, smile. Do you Cali to mind the
general smirk which is, iinfaot, the thin
silk overskirt of joy covering the silicia
sham of a nameless woe ? Do you hap
pen to have about your house the photo
graph of a friend whose petrified gayety
fills your eyes with briny weep ?
Joy is something that we can not sieze
ruthlessly and lead it into the photo
grapher’s laboratory by the ear. I’ve
tried that. I always leave my Umbrella
and my hope behind when I go into the
photographer’s gilded liall. I can laugh
wliile the dentist pulls out my sou;id
teeth and plugs the poor ones, and I can
even be gay while nature and the cucum
ber of commerce are e gaged in mortal
combat, but I can not affect a joy that I
do not feel why the cast-iron hat-rack of
the artist leans against my love of home,
and the artist bids me look at a place on
the wall that is freckled with lodine.
I am positive that the art of photogra
phy* is upon the eve of a grand stride
toward perfection. Those who have
never seen anything on the eve of a
grand stride will find little of interest in
what I am about to say; but the day is
not far distant when no sane man will
have liis photograph pulled without the
administration of au ansesthetio. Cut
this out and see if I am not right.
Simply immense—David Davis.
Every brass soup-tureen has a silver
lining,
A calico wrapper—The dry goods clerk.
A figure-head—The lightning calcula
tor.
The highw’ayman generally draws your
watch on demand.
Ended in smoke—The girl who tried to
lignt the fire with kerosono.
Where is the temperance orator that
w’ould not like to see a brandy-smash ?
A rag-dealer who voted for St. John was
accused of working the growler the day
before election. He saved his reputation
by explaining that he had merely hitched
his dog to the rag-cart and made him pull
it.
“The only man who can ‘knock down’
and be honest is the auctioneer.” —Daily
News. Wrong again, old man; you’ve
forgotten the prize-fighter. He cau, you
know.
An editor just jumps aud tears his hair,
and fills the place with dust, when he
asks the foreman to bring him a galley
proof of all the matter in type, and the
foreman hands him about a yard of po
litical items that the editor sat up half the
night to write, and which now are per
fectly worthless because the election is
over.
A young lady up-town recently missing
from home for several davs. Her dis
tracted parents sent detectives forth in
search of her, and after they had scoured
the country in vain, she was given up.
The grief of her parents knew no bounds,
and when they were just resigning them
selves to the awful calamity, the young
lady walked in and stated that she had
. simply been waiting for her change in a
Sixth Avenue dry-goods store.
A Bey’s Cogitation,
I notice that girls have the greatest
faculty of growing “all to once.” Now
Em is as bony as a porgie, but some
how when she puts on that new dress
just before her beau comes, she becomes
as plump as a rubber ball. I notice that
girls who kiss bad women will kiss bad
men, I notice that the girl who is fond
of calling man a delusion, likes to hug
delusions. 1 notice that pa points with
pride to my big brother, who smokes ten
cent cigars all day, as an exemplary son,
while he almost makes mince-meat of
me if I use up one of Tom’s stubs. I
notice that girl’s hair grows faster tha
boy’s. Jen always has more hair on her
head when her beau comes, than she
lias in the morning when she gets up. I
notice. Jen’s beau shivers if you say ice
cream. I notice a big difference between
the town clock anil ours oil the morning
■fier Em’s fellow comes to see her. I
notice that the dude who parts his hair
iu tlie middle, has but very little room
on either side of his skull to part it. I
notice that the more spindle-shaped a
fellow’s shanks are, the tighter he wears
tiis pants. In >tice that his mother ain’t
like mine. If she was he’d wear them
loose enough to put a shiugie in on an
emergency. I notice that girls who
would blush if a man should see the
fourth button on their shoe at home,
will go in bathing at the seashore, among
a big crowd, with less clotnes on than
they wear to bed. I notice that an ele
gantly clocked silk stocking will beat
modesty every time. I notice that the
liomliest shaped women like the Mother
Hubbard best. I notice that the girls of
Chicago are the most modest about show
ing their feet. I notice that women’s
rights women always wear men’s hair,
and women’s rights men, women’s hair.
I notice there is seldom much harmony
in church choirs. I notice those fellows
who cuss railroad monopolies most, never
refuse a free pass. I notice that pa hits
a very intimate knowledge of the rules
of poker and faro, for a man who never
touched a card in his life. I notice that
it is all wrong for me to play marbles for
keeps, but it’s all right for our church to
play guess-cake till they rake in the
whole pile. I notice that for a girl who
virtuously says she wouldn’t allow any
man to kiss her but the one she is en
gaged to, my sister Em. does like an in
discriminate game of Copenhagen amaz
ingly. I notice that “kickers” in poli
ties and elsewhere, have the softest snap
Pa’s the “kicker,” I’m the kicked. I
notice that a lien uever gets too old to be
a spring chicken—neither does a girl for
that matter. I notice our preacher says
“I want to be an angel,” and “I long,
oli, I long to be there,” but when the
c >1 ic takes him lie’s the first to want the
doctor, and is about as “sciirt” as any
“ornary” sinner.
Shot silks are among the most fashion
able goods of the season. If some one
could only arrange matters so that shot
hats would be fashionable, he would be a
benefactor.
“I am never merry when l hear sweet
music,” quoted Marcus Aurelius Baker,
as he handed in his check for $125 for a
season subscription for his wife at the
Academy of Music.
Now that the campaign is over, it is
probable that a great many respectable
republicans who have been obliged to dis
pense with the daily newspapers of their
own political faith on account of the cler
ical and other kinds of filth which disgra
ced them will be able to bring them again
into their homes. But, on the other hand,
there are others who have been disgusted
not only with the scandals, but with the
papers which gave them publicity. They
will keep on buying respectable democrat
ic and independent journals which have
been decent throughout the campaign,
and the Tribune and others of its kind
will be found to be the heavy losers when
both sides have time to sit down and
count the killed and wounded.
’Tis of joy supreme I’m singing,
Wild as wayward waltz or whirl;
Would’st experiment—try swinging,
in a hammock with your gill.
With the breeze* softly playing,
To the ninsie ol houghs,
And the hammock gently swaying,
Light as tickle lovers vows.
Wi h ai rnngemeui* thus perfected,
Lite’s a transport to a < hurl,
For how could you he deject* and,
In a hammock wiih y on gill,
All things still set m miprnpitiou*,
Something yet f r which you Mie,
Bea little vast and viscioua
B ac<:■ yours. It— and swing with two.
Grant we ti:cn mv gilded gticnliui,
N raie gem oi ci \ 1.4 pi ad,
Let mo swing—t’will en~e lih hutdft.ii,
In a hammock wifii uiygid.
A good girl—yea, a pietry one—
She sent au editor a cake,
And in liis bosf u gi'rii uue
Began a little place to take,
But O! di i-ake had mi he long
Beneath hi.- vest helotc i' I il
Afoui ill pie gone down before,
‘•Great Boh!” he ciied, “1 m not wcl !’
The cake and pie they (ought and fought;
The doctor came in booming ha.-ne,
And drugs at once went up ill pi ice,
O, ne’er was death so boldly face !
The medicines allacm-d the pic;
Tne medicines attacked the oak- ;
Then pie and cake allied did lLlil —
liis many tfiends were at the wake!
T.ie Mother Huh Is ol stub hiduotir mein
l h.it to tie baiet needs but to he seen.
Bui when surmounted by a pietty face,
We first endure —ih> u pit’,—fiicii embrace.
No bald-headed man was ever convert
ed by a sermon during the fly season, and
no presidential candidate was ever con
verted during the campaign. Wasps arc
worse than flies for putting a man in a
bad humor.
Several females have been arrested in
Chicago for wearing the Mother Hubbard
dress. If all the Chicago females of loose
habits are arrested, the jails will have to
be enlarged to accommodate them, if Chi
cago is only half as bad a place as it is
represented to be.
If the statements of the partisan press
are to be believed, the successful party
must be composed in a great measure of
bribing scoundrels with immense wealth
at their command, and the defeated party
must be composed in great part of venal (
unprincipled, blackguards who will sell
themselves for a song. There should be
reform somewhere. Either the suffrage or
the lying should be curtailed.
How narrowly Belva Lockwood has es
caped a scandal that might have driven
her in sorrow to her grave! She once
picked up a stone to throw at a chicken,
but better counsel prevailed and she laid
it down without throwing it, thus avoid
ing the murder of a little girl passing be
hind her.
The bug crawled out. Mrs. Lockwood
wanted to throw this election into the
house, then she would have had things
dead to rights, for if a woman isn’t boss in
the house, where is she ?
Mrs. Belva Lockwood was the only can
didate who could peel a potato or thread
a needle. Give the devil his due.
The stumps can now have a rest, as the
politicians are no longer on them
There is an item going the rounds of
the press to the effect that a boy has been
born in Nebraska, without brains. "We
see nothing remarkable in that. We see
them around us every day. In the pres
ent age the boy born with brains is the
novelty.
The persistence with which Elkins bled
the clerks, manufacturers, and other class
es supposed to be interested in the success
of the republican party, has never been
excelled. Elkins has all the persistence
of a Galveston mosquito, of which the
little boy said, when asked what was the
matter with his nose: “Muskeeter txxlder
me all night. He stuck so fast, I couldn’t
push him off.”
NUMBER OS.
SAM BKOWN.
THE DARK CLOUDS THAT HOVERED
OVER HIM ARE DISAPPEARING.
He and His Old Woman Discuss the Lit
erary Taste of the Present Day.
Newspaper Humor, Etc,
The cloudy mists are beginning to
perambulate, and I feel about two hun
dred and fifty million per cent, better.
Yes, I am now ashamed of myself L r
wanting to be coroner of Bartow county.
My old woman has been watching me
with hungry eyes for two weeks past,
and last night she carried me behind the
smokehouse to the same little pine
chunk and enquired cloßely as to the
cause of my continued look of miserabl a
depression. She lectured me for tv o
solid hours, and then asked confidently
why I could not clap on my former hi
larity and stop acting a blamed fool.
During the closing thirty minutes of her
lecture I studied fast, and, when she pro
nounced the word “fool,” beiug thor
oughly melted, I delivered myself of the
following eloquent decision: ‘ ‘By all the
rock-ribbed hills, Sambo is himself again!
A struggle equal in fierceness to the
war which Homer sung, and iu individu
al valor and prowess not perhaps inferior,
has at last drawn to a glorious close; and
Sambo, though his future destiny be is
yet obscure, has emerged from the tri l
regenerate and free. Like the star ?
Merope, all sad and lustreless, the om -
nous cToud that has been hovering over
him has at length disappeared, and h.
many warm friends and enthusiastic ad
mirers will haste to greet the return ini’
brightness of the beautiful and once lost
Pleiad.”
This speech seemed to stun mv o'd
woman, but she soon revived, and
panoramic smile, breakii cr out at her
mouth, traveled 11 over her face. Tin n
she looked Iv'rrnv; she did certain. F•
fiffee minutes we sat in silence, c isth e
■t each 6ther love-lit '•!•*::ces wliat m
me feel like goose pimples were all ov- r
my spinal column. At length she s-hd;,
“Sam, y our literary pruviei ce :f or
trashy and injuri- us funny papers, as
well as your absorbing desire to become
famous by having vf-nr nonsense spread
out before the public week after week,
have troubled me no little. Yes, sir, in
stead cf making yourself truly renown* and
by exhibiting to an appreciative public
your poetic genius—by surpassing, us
you are thoroughly capable of doing,
the old songs chanted forth in the sun
rise of human imagination —you are
wasting your energies and talents at
tempting to surpass the vile and pen i
cious stuff that is so eagerly sought after
by the silly and th* ughtless, and with
which the l’ow-a-days newspapers teem.”
“Yes, ms m,” bays I, “aid don’t y< u
know that modern civilization has evoh
ed a complete apparatus, an order < f
men, a style of women, and a code of
ideas, for the express purpose of chew
ing up just such literature as I grind cut
week after w’eek. Why they would e
suffocated by something really seusil••©
and solid, but are anxious to give a place
of honor to that what is plainly literary
carrion. I belong to that class cf m n
what delight in literary dandyism; I do,
certain. I have joined this crew because
it is the most popular and numerous. I
read, like most men, from the pricki g
of some cerebral itch, rather than from a
desire of making myself a better it form
ed man; I seek knowledge what will i ci
as a sedative—what will excite a in Id
intellectual titillation; I encourage tins*
craving for a perpetual literary dribble,
to avoid the effort of bracing up my
mind to think. ’’
“Ahem,” says my old woman, “ad
you want to follow in the wake of t o
common herd, do you?”
“No, sirree,” says I, “the common ht and
follows mmy wake. Why, don’t you . -
member wliat a common herd of can
dates that was what came bellowing }tlo
after me when the democracy of Bart<
county named me sis their banner tote)
“Shut up, Sam,” says she in her ten
voice, then, dropping back to her c<
tralto: “It is enough to make a c i
faint to hear you mention that mis oral a
Id coroner business any more.”
But I was sawed off’from making a y
reply to this speech by the sharp, . pin ,
angry notes what were emitted ir m
Pup’s wide stretched mouth. Ho v s
barking at pigs what were rooting op
the garden. My old woman broke t : e
thread of our dialogue and split out i r
the garden. I sneaked into the hom e
and went to bed. The last thing wl.at
entered my head as I glided off i do a
delicious snooze wsr, “Bully for Pup.’ 5 .
Yours in hope,
Sam Brown.
If w T e could bring our conscience down
to permit us to lie, we would say that we
always predicted that the election would
go as it has, but being consciencious we
will only say that we always knew how
it was going but Were too modest to make
any prediction.
The great national political battle being"
over, the average citizen will now settle
down to business, with the consolation
that if his candidate did get defeated, it
doesn’t make much difference to him, the
country will move along just the same as
heretofore, and never slip a cog.