Newspaper Page Text
PAGE FOUR
Coffee County Progress
FRED RICKETSON,
EDITOR AND MANAGER.
Published Every Wednesday
By the
FROGKENS I'lltl.lSHlMi COMPANY
Official Organ of Coffee County.
Entered at the postoffice at Douglas,
Georgia, as Second-Class Matter.
Subscription SI.OO a year in advance;
Six months, 50 cents; single cop
ies 5 cents.
Ad veiUsing Rates on Application.
Four for governor
Have annouced;
Four for congress -
Three to be trounced.
What will a legislature be without
beer?
Have you noticed how many things
date back to "the first of May?’’
Georgia is dry.—Ocilla Star. We
knew that, say something else.
Every one .seems to have turned a
“booze fighter.”
It is better o save some of a small
salary than spend all of a large one.
The Epworth League convention
is only a few days away.
We make a move that the Georgia
legislature be allowed to meet in
Jacksonville this year.
Did you know that if Coffee coun
ty had the best roads it would be
called the best county in the state?
Alabama as well as Georgia ap
pears to be having no little trouble
with the liquor dealers.
The water-wagon is about the
wetest thing to be seen on the
streets of Douglas since May 1.
The Macon Telegraph is plain
spoken at least so far as the guber
natorial race is concerned.
Hugh Dorsey has not yet denied
any of the things the vveek'y press
has charged him with.
What’s the matter with having a
fire, now that we have a first-class
fire engine?
To the credit of prohibition: Only
one case of drunkenness before the
mayor’s court in Douglas since the
first of May.
A lady, shortly after passing
through \\ aycross, made her way
through a window in a Pullman car
and committed suicide last week.
Lend the city fathers all the en
couragement possible and they will
be enabled in turn to do Douglas
even greater service.
We’d like to kn >w what business
these country editors have digging
into the salary question? Several of
them have discovered that the state
veterinarian draws more pay than
the state school superintendent.
In New York city, the prepared
ness parade took place on principal
streets, while other parades demon
strating preparedness took place in
the field, work shop and various
places throughout the country.
The Musket Philosopher of the Dal
ton Citizen told the truth when he
;aul any fool could start a family or
a newspaper but it required a genius
to keep them going. Chet >kee Ad
vance.
Another crown reduced: another
kingdom destroyed, and a victory
for the weaker ones. The rooster
who so proudly reigned supreme
over all the barn vard must give up
his privilege.
A report to the effect that W. E.
Thomas of Valdosta would withdraw
from the race for congress was wide
ly published over the district last
week. He is holding on to the judge
ship in his district and making the
race for congress on the side.
We know of at least two instances
where Albert, of the Nashville Her
ald, went badly wrong on his con
gressional dope. His figures don’t
•ount any way; he’s a W alker ap
pointee.
Judge Lankford of Douglas re
signed his judgship when he announc
!ed for congress. He didn’t think it
| right for a judge to run for another
I office and hold on to a judgship. No
| judge should ever play politics.
Nashville Herald.
It is now very evident that Gov
ernor Harris will stay by his prom
ise he made the little Stripling girl
and pardon her father, Thomas E.
Stripling, who is now serving a life
term at the state farm near Milldge
ville for murder.
An Atlanta judge says, “if a wo
man should point a gattling gun at
her husband he has no right to
beat her.” Hands off the ladies,
you wife-beaters, or you will have
to pay the penalty. The Georgia
judges take a pride in protecting
their women,
Large numbers of automobile
i tourists continue to travel the short
route but the roads are getting in
very bad condition in this county. A
very bad thing to permit so early af
ter the road w r as designated.
Judge Lankford is more active in
his race for congress than any of the
candidates from the 11th. He is
making an average of a speech a day
and the crowds where he goes are
with him. With him in congress
not only Coffee county but the
whole district would be ably and
creditably represented.
There has been considerable work
for the police since May I—most1 —most of
it being the capture of tigers.
Lots more tigers in this state yet to
be located. Douglas officers have
had but very little trouble with the
tiger element, and from all indi
cations the city and county areas dry
as any town and county in the state.
The farmers in this section are
in need of a heavy rain. A good
shower would not only be a great
benefit to the farmer, but would
help the feeling of the people over
the country in places where the
drouth has caused the stock to suf
fer as well as the crops.
SO, WHY WORRY?
If you let your wife waste your
money, you are a fool.
If you refuse to let your wife
waste your money, you are a brute.
If you are affectionate to your
wife in public, you are mean.
If you lose a lot of money, you are
idiotic.
If you make a lot of money, you
| are a crook.
If you tango, you are frivoulous.
If you don’t tango you are a back
number.
If you are poor, you are no good.
If you are rich, you get it by rob
bing others.
i If you die, you dissipate.
If you live to a good old age, you
attained it through laziness.
Can’t please everybody.
NOT AN OPINION; ONLY A
SUGGESTION
It would seem that those near to
the present governor would have ad
vised him to not make the second
race for governor of Georgia. The
grandest of grand old men is he, but
surely the strenuousness of two
campaigns with a great deal of re
sponsibility while in office are calcu
lated to shorten the years of a man
the age of Governor Harris. We
are prone to believe that he was
urged inio the race this time by
folks who by close association with
him have found it much easier to
manipulate affairs to suit them
selves than would be the case where
a younger antj more vigorous man
was in the governor’s chair. Despite
his energy he is nevertheless an old
man and was seemingly as highly
honored as the people of Georgia
could honor any one and it now
seems that honor was not all that
was wanted. The governor has gone
into politics or at least someone
has.
MOSEY TO LOAS.
On improved farm property in Cof
fee County. Long terms, reasonable
rates of interest We represent the old
and reliable firm of Howard M. Smith
& Co. Call on or write.—J MONROE
WILCOX Ac BRO., Douglas, Ga. 22tf-
COFFEE COUNTY PROGRESS
POETS AS PUNSTERS.
Even Shakespeare and Milton Broke
Into Thie Form of Humor.
Shakespeare was an inveterate pun
ster. and Dr. Johnson in bis preface to
an edition to the poet's works deplores
his habit of [tunning on serious occa
sions Hamlet is made to pun when
he asks the gravedigger:
"Whose grave's this'/"
“Mine, sir," answers the down.
Ilamlet replies:
“I think it be thine indeed, for thou
best in't,*' and adds later. "Thou dost
lie in’t to be in't and say it is thine."
To King Richard's question. "What
comfort, man? How is't with ancient
Gaunt?" Shakespeare makes Gaunt re
ply: "Old Gaunt indeed and gaunt in
being old. Within me grief has kept a
tedious fast. And who abstains from
meat that is not gaunt?" .
Milton is the last poet one would
think to be guilty of punning, and yet
he once wrote a punning epitaph upon
a carrier who plied between Cambridge
and London and who died after losing
his trade oil account of the plague.
This carrier was the Hobson whose
“choice" is so famous. He used to hire
out horses, hut travelers had to take
the horse Hobson offered or none, so
that "Hobson’s choice" came to mean
no choice at all.
The whole poem, written on the death
of tills carrier, is full of puns. One pas
sage runs:
Rest that gives all men life gave him his
death,
And too much breathing put him out of
breath;
Nor were it contradiction to affirm
Too long vacation hastened on his term.
Cowper made a pun which lias be
come quite famous. In the poem de
scribing the ride of John Gilpin, who
had to go where his horse took him
and eventually arrived at the house of
a friend from whom the horse Imd
been borrowed, Gilpiu says:
1 came because your horse would come.
And if T well forbode,
My hat and wig will soon be here.
They are upon the road.
Tom Hood's humorous poetry is full
of puns, lu “The Lady's Dream" he
writes;
They talked together like two egotists
In conversation all made up of eyes.
And in "The Mermaid of Margate" he
says:
On Margate beach, where the sick one
roams
And the sentimental reads.
Where the maiden flirts and the widow
comes
Like the ocean—to cast her weeds.
But examples could lie multiplied in
definitely. Hood's best known pun
reads*
Itis death, which happened in his berth.
At forty odd befell.
They went and told the sexton, and
The sexton tolled the bell.
Pearson's Weekly.
The Three Scutaris.
By this time we should ail know
enough about the near east not to con
found tlie various Scutaris—the one in
Albania, the one opposite Constantino
ple and the one in southern Greece. It
is curious that each name comes from
a different original form. The Greek
Scutari 1s otherwise Scatari: the Al
banian one is the Illyrian Scodra. and
the Asiatic one is the Turkish Cskudar.
This last means a courier carrying
royal orders from station to station and
commemorates the' fact that this place,
tlie ancient Chrysopolis. or City of
Gold, was the starting point of tlie
Asiatic couriers.— Youth's Companion.
The Limit In Politeness.
A certain professor is unusually cour
teous. botli in and out of the classroom.
One day lie made a bonfire in his hack
garden. The (lames, creeping rapidly
through tlie dry stubble, frightened
him. and lie believed his house was in
imminent danger. So lie ran wildly
down tlie street, crying at the top of
Ins voice:
"Help! Fire! Fire! Help!”
And then, as if thinking himself too
abrupt and urgent, he politely added,
so his neighbors say:
"That is. all those who can conven
iently do so."—New York Times.
Right In His Lina.
A woman from the city was spend
ing the summer in a small town, and
one day while doing her marketing she
asked tlie butcher bow be happened to
choose his business.
He hesitated a moment, and then—
" Well. I don't know." lie answered,
"but l always was fond of animals.”—
Everybody's.
She Learns Too.
There had been a family row
"Well," remarked tlie alleged head of
the house, "a man learns a few things
when lie gets married Yes. sir. a man
lives and learns.”
“That may he.” retorted tlie femi
nine half of tlie sketch, "hut tlie school
of experience doesn't bar co-eds.”
His Grouchy Views.
"What has become of the fine old
names like Prudence and Patience?"
"They wouldn't lie appropriate now."
declared the old grouch. “If i had a
couple of daughters I'd name ’em Ex
travagance and Hysteria."—Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Assets.
Office Boy—Guy in front says can
you let him have some of th' back
alimony you owe his wife. He's just
back from th* honeymoon trip, and he
needs it.—Life.
Over and Under.
"Archie is fairly going crazy over his
new motorcar”
"That's strange. Every rime I've
seen him he has beeu going crazv tin
der It."
Hew blunt are the arrows of adver
sity in comparison with those of guilt!
-Blair.
NICHOLLS NEWS
The commencement exercises of
the Nicholls public school were held
Thursday and Friday nights. Large
crowds attended both nights and all
enjoyed the exercises. Friday night
the graduating exercises were held.
There were four who had finished
the tenth grade and were given
their diplomas. They were Calvin
Meeks, Elisha Thompson, Blaunie
Davis and Gladys Vinson. Calvin
Meeks delivered the salutatory and
prophecy, Blaume Davis the class
history, Gladys Vinson the class will
and Elisha Thompson the valedic
tory. Elisha made the speech of
his life; he spoke so well and looked
so dignified that he has been named
Abraham Lincoln. Judge W. C.
Lankford of Douglas made the lit
erary address. His subject was
Search. His speech was enjoyed by
all. These exercises brought to a
close the thirteenth year of our
school and it was the best. Some of
our teachers will return and serve
us next year some will go to other
fields of labor. The faculty next
year will be Prof. J, L. Sargent of
Dahlonega, Superintendent, Miss
Lois Harrell of Doerun, sth and 6th
grades, Miss Bessie Meeks of Nich
olls 3rd and 4th grades. Miss Bessie
Jenkins of Dooling, and Miss Pearl
Ritche of Nicholls, first and sec
ohd grades. The principal has not
been selected yet. Miss Fannie Mae
Davis will teach music and expres
sion /
Miss Lula Newman, who has been
attending Brenau at Gainesville, has
returned home.
Rhoda Davis, wife of Mr. J.G.
Davis, died Saturday after an illness
of several months.
The boys from Broxton came over
and played ball with our boys last
Thursday. The score stood eleven
to four in favor of Nicholls.
Miss Bessie Cooksey, who is tak
ing training at the hospital at Doug
las, spent Sunday night at home.
There will be several services held
at the Baptist church this week.
Rev. Hubert of Douglas will do the
preaching.
Bernard, the small son of F. A.
Meeks, was struck ly a car driven
by Mayor Davis Sunday afteinoon
Do You Need Money? y Plentiful
We are now closing farm loans promptly. If you need
money, come to see us
DICKERSON, KELLEY & ROBERTS
and was slightly injured.
Dr. S. L. Vinson attended a meet
ing of the board of trustees of the
Pierce Collegiate Institute at Black
shear Monday.
Miss Ada Davis, who is teaching at
Pine Forest school house near Alma,
attended the commencement.
Misses Chryssie and Lottie Holten
and Bessie Bell of near Graham,
visited friends and relatives in Nich
olls last week.
Rev. Smith of Broxton filled his
appointment at the Baptist church
Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. John Ritch will
move to Brunswick soon.
Prof. J. L. Sargent of Dahlonega
visited Nicholls Saturday night.
There will be a division meeting
of the county Sun lay school asso
ciation at New Hope church near
Ambrose the third Sunday in June.
The Alma Singing convention has
been postponed until the fourth
Sunday in June.
NOTICE
1 take this method of notifying all
parties interested that all local bills
whether amendments to town or city
charters or otherwise must be duly
advertised as follows: By having
the ordinary of the county to post
at the court house door and insert
ing same in the official organ of the
county for four consecutive weeks
the caption of the bill, or a notice
that certain local laws will be
amended, repealed, etc., naming the
caption thereof. No local bill can
be introduced until this is done.
Respectfully,
Chas E. Stewart.
May 22, 1916. 5-24-4 w-adv
H. F. Fiekling visited Loperton
Friday and Saturday.
A. C. Heath has returned from a
month’s visit to Montezuma and oth
i er points.
m
A Big Fishery will be had at
SEARS FISH POND
One Mile below PEARSON, on
Friday and Saturday
MAY 26-27th.
This pond has not been
opened for seven years
and plenty of fish are
there for everybody.
Parties coming on train
will find ample means of
getting to pond.
ADMISSION FOR TWO DAYS
WILL BE SI.OO
WEST GREEN ITEMS
(Special C< rresponrtence<
From Last Week
Warren Ellis and Miss Corine
Moore were married here Sunday at
Rev. S. G. Taylor’s.
Mitchell Sapp, Tom Carelock,
Misses Georgiana and Evelyn Epling
enjoyed a very pleasant evening at
Gaskin Spring Sunday afternoon.
Rev. Morrison, the Methodist pas
"tor, preached an interesting sermon
here Sunday afternoon and night.
Messrs. Nash and Dudley claimed
to have had a nice time at Huffier
Sunday.
Mrs. Mary Jane Long and Arrie
Long were visitors of Misses Lucy
and Mattie Courson Sunday after
noon. ,
Tom Carelock escorted Miss Ev’.yn
Epling to church Sunday night.
Mr. and Mrs. Rictan Carelock Were
visiting Mrs. Carelock’s mother Sun
day and her sister Lizzie Ellis re
turned home with them.
Mr. and Mrs. J. W. Hattaway and
Earle Dudley went to see their sick
sister Friday night and Miss Lonnie
Hattaway returned with them. ,
Mr. and Mrs. Standaland were the
visitors of Mr. and Mrs. Hattaway
Sunday afternoon.
Will Martin was home to spend
Sunday with his wife.
Mrs. W. B. Courson and Mrs. Sal
lie Courson, Misses Lucy and Mattie
Courson and their brother, Clinton,
went to Douglas Friday.
Butterfiy.
•Judge W. C. Lankfbrd of Doug
las was here Saturday in the inter
est of his candidacy for congress.
Judge Lankford is getting quietly
about over the district meeting the
people. He contemplates making a
speech here before the primary. He
has many friends throughout the
district. Adel News.