Newspaper Page Text
FAYETTEVILLE, GA„ FRIDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1888
Brooklyn’s credit stands high. The
eUy has just negotiated $600,000 of her
permanent water loan bonds at 103$.
Sj^Hgjt « —*— 1 —s—i'i -j-ij—waJ
IJskota is the biggest boy, in Uncle
Samuel's family, and has ibr sevci al
. years wanted to set up for himself. Da
kota’s population is 040,000, and has
• increased 0200 during tho year.
The value of tho fertilizers used by
farmers amounts to a yearly’sum of about
. $60,000,000. It was more than half this
sniji in 1880, and tho trade has certainly
doubled in extent since then. In North
Carolina the tax on fertilizers yio'.ds more
than $40,000 yearly.
Tho Chinese are making such large de
mands upon soap that in time they may
tank among the clean nations. The im
portation of foreign soap has increased
183 per cent in five years and 860 per
cent, more is wanted now than was
sought after ten years ago.
Says the Detroit FrcePresr. “Volapuk
did not die with Fr. Schleyer, its father;
and we hope there is peace In Ileaveu
for tho man who, in translating into liis
new lingo two of the • sweetest words in
every language, deliberately called a
ma'dcu a vpmul and a bride a ji-gam.’l
| The Director of the German.Statisticai
, .. Bureau has issued a report on the status
. of ihe German population. There are in
the empire now about 46,000,000people,
but this ollicial believes that the country
can support a very large addition to the
present number without any trouble.
A 6t. Louis diamond broker makes the
singular statement that the amount of
money invested in diamonds in that city
is greater than the volume of actual
money used in business. Nearly every
family in the city, ho says, even many
in humble circumstances, lias a collection
of the precious stones.
Tout ist® abroad complain that the de
lightfuj/ff&i.aud quiet of IMdolberg,
|Gcrinnn university town, ha*
| to noise and manufacturing
>r of tall chimneys injure
m the castle grounds and the
fcnvTSl ogdortivffiuas ti%i ' dis
turbs the quiet of tho Neckar.
jm pc
If
The newspaper is tho most penetrat
ing and pervasive agent of civilization.
In Persia, where agricultural implements
are of the same pattern that they were
in Abraham’s day and the natives were
greatly astonished at the sight of a
wheelbarrow, they have a newspaper
which nppears whenever it can get any
news not too dangerous to publish.
The libel suit ha3 not been introduced
yet. ______________
A first-class editor achieves the big
gest kind of success, declares the Atlanta
Constitution, when he secures a salary of
$10,000 a year, and the best American
novelist thinks that he is doing wonder
fully well when he earns the sarde sum
in a year. And yet a fellow whose stories
don’t come under the head of literature,
whose style is course and ungrammati
cal, can make three or four times as
much as the cultured editor and novel
ist. Such a writer i3 H. P. Halsey, of
Brooklyn,the author of the “Old Sleuth”
detective stories. Mr. Halsey’s facile
pen yields him an income of from $30,-
00 to $40,000 a year.
A company has been formed in Eng
land to supply postal cards at a farthing
each, which will make communication
cost next to nothing. It ought, in
America, a contemporary thinks, to be
really less than nothing! for it is said
that an American never knows the dif
ference between a cent and nothing.
Thus half a cent ought to be just half
a cent—less than nothing. The Farthing
Letter Card Company prints advertise -
ments around the margin of the post
card and thus makes its profits. It is
expected that 100,000 cards a week will
be sold. England uses 100,000,000 of
cards a year. America uses about 330, -
000,000 of cards each year.
Laws passed under Charles I., George
III. and William IV. render it illegal to
raise tobacco on the soil of tho United
Kingdom, and there is a mild agitation
going on for their repeal. If fine writing
can bring it about it will soon bo forth
coming. Edwin I.ester Arnold in the
'Nineteenth Century, in championing the
repeal, describes the native plant as “a
rampant, verdant, green weed, tall and
stately and crowned with pink blossoms
in those sunny and quiet ‘slades’ of the
Californian forests, where the humming
birds, like living gems, glitter among
creepers and the
woodlands in-
Parliament
sort of
THB ANSWER OF THE OAHDENER,
Be leant, at sunset, on his. spade,
(Oh, but the child whs sweet to see—
The one who in the orchard played 1)
He called: "I’ve planted you a tree;
The boy looked nt It for a while,
Then at the radiant woods below,
And said, with wonder in his smile:
"Why don’t you put the leaves on, though?"
The gardener, with a reverent air,
Lifted his eyes, took off his hat:
"The Other Man, the One up there,”
He answered, “He must see to that.”
—Sarr.k M. II. Platt, in Retford's Magazine,
IN TWO HALYES,
TIIE STOUT OF A DIVIDED BANK NOT I.
ring
Ibis
the Ftnsr iiai.f.
Wet and dreary. It is midwinter; the
scene is Kirklington, on the London and
Northwestern; tho time one-quarter to
eleven; just after the night mail has
Hashed through without stopping—
bound for Liverpool and the north. The
railway officials ate collecting prepaia^
tory to going off duty for the night.
“Where’s Dan?” asked one of the
crowd upon the platform.
“I saw him in the hut just after the
one-quarter to eleven went through.
Can’t have come to any haim, surely ?”’
“No; he said he’d seen something
drop Horn the train, and he went down
the line to pick it up.”
And Dan had picked up something.
It was a basket, a common white wicker
basket, with a lid fastened down by a
string. What did it contain? Dirty
clolhes? What?
A baby- a child half a dozen weeks
old, no more.
“Where did you come across it?”
asked one.
“Lying on the line, just where it fell.
Perhaps it didn’t fall, perhaps it was
chucked out. What matter? I’ve got
it, and got to look after it, that’s enough
for me I”
The little mite’s linen was white and
of fine material, but he. lay upon an old
shawl and a few bits of dirty flannel:
All they found was a dilapidated purse,
a cojnmon snaplock bag-purse of faded
brown leather. Inside was a brass thim
ble^ pawn-ticket, and the half of a Bank
of England note of *100.
* * * * * HI HI
A new parson— Harrold Treffry—had
come lately to Kirklington.
He is now paying a round of parochial
visits, accompanied by an old college
chum, who is spending Christmas with
him.
“Fonder,” said Treffry, pointing to a
thin thread of smoke which rose from
some gAunt trees into the sullen wintry
air, ‘‘yonder is the house—if, indeed, it
deserves so grand a name—tho hovel,
rather, of one whose case is the hardest
of all the hard ones in my parish. This
man is a mere hedger and ditcher, one
who works for any master, most often
for the railway, but who is never certain
of a job all the year round. He has a
swarm of young children, and he has
just lost his wife. He is absolutely pros
trated, aghast probably at his utter in
capacity to do his duty by his motherless
little ones. I wonder whether you could
rouse him? If you could only get him
to make a sign, or cry,- or laugh, or to
take the smallest interest in common
affairs. Jack, I believe you’re the very
man. A ou might get at him through
the children—that marvellous hanky-
panky of yours, those surprising tricks;
a child takes to you naturally at once.
Try and make friends with these. Per
haps when the father sees them inter
ested and amused he may warm a little,
speak, perhaps approve, perhaps smile,
and in the end give in. Jack, will you
try?”
Jack Newbiggin was by profession a
conveyancer, but nature had intended
him for a new Houdin, ora wizard of the
North. He was more than half a pro
fessional by the time he was full grown.
In addition to the quick eye and tho
facile wrist he had the rarer gifts of the
suave manner and the face of brass. He
had even studied mesmerism and clair
voyance, and could upon occasion sur
prise his audience considerably by his
power.
They entered the miserable dwelling
together. The children—eight of them
—were all skirmishing over theffioor, ex
cept one, a child of six or seven, a
bright eyed, exceedingly beautiful boy,
the least—were not nature’s vagaries
well known— likely to be born among and
belong to such surroundings, who stood
between the legs of the mau himself, who
had his back to the visitors, and was
crouching low over the scanty tire.
The man turned his head for a mo
ment, gave a pereceptible stare, then an
imperceptible nod, and once more he
glowered upon the fire.
“Here, little ones; do you see thisgen-
tlemau? He’s a conjuror. Know what a
conjuror is^Tommy? ’ catching up a mite
of four or five from the floor. “No, not
you; nor you, Sarah; nor you, Jakey”—
and he ran through all their names.
“They had now ceased their gambols
and vyerc staring hard at their visitors—
the moment was propitious; Jack New
biggin began. He had fortunately filled
his pockets with nuts, oranges and cakes
before leaving the parsonage, so he had
half his apparatus ready in hand.
The pretty boy had left the father
at the fire and had come over to join in
the fun, going back, however, to exhibit
his share of the spoil and describe volu
minously what had occurred. This and
the repeated shouts of laughter seemed
to produce some impression on him.
Presently he looked over his shoulder
and said—but without animation:
• “It is very good of you, sir, surely;
very good for you to take so kindly to
tho littlo chicks. It does thorn good to
laugh a bit, but it ain’t much ns they've
had to make’em lately.”
-^“Itisgood for all of us now and
u.ain, 1 take it,” said Jack, desisting
d going toward him, the children
gradually collecting in a far off corner
and comparing notes.
“You can’t laugh, sir, if your heart’s
heavy ; if you do it can be only a sham.”
While ho was speakinjf he had taken
tho Biblo from the shelf, and resuming
his soat began to turn the leaves over.
“I’m au untaught, rough countryman,
sir, but I havo heard tell that these
strange thiugs you do are only tricks;
ain’t that so?”
Hero was indeed a hopeful symptom.
He was roused then to lake somo inter
est in what hud occurred.
“All tricks, of course it all comes of
practice,” said Jack, as he proceeded to
explaiu some of the simple • processes,
hoping to enchaiDljie man’s attention, i
“That’s what 1 thought, sir, or I’d
have given you a job to do. I’ve been
ih want of a real conjuror many a long
day, and nothing loss'll do. See here,
sir,” he said, as he took a small carefully
folded paper from between the leaves of
the Bible, “do you see this?”
It was half a Bank of England note
for £100.
“How, sir, could any conjuror help
me to the other half?”
“How did you come by it?” asked
Jack at once.
“I’ll tell you, sir, short as I can make
it. Conjuror or no conjuror, you’ve got
a kindly heart, and I’m main sure' that
you’ll help if you can.!’
Dau then described how he had picked i
up the basket from the 10:45 Liverpool
express.
“There was the linen; I’ve kept it.
Sec here; all marked quite pretty and
proper, with lace round the edges, as
though its mother loved to make the little
one smart.”
Jack examined the linen; it boro a
monogram and crest. The first hevnade
out to mean H. L. M., and the crest was
plainly two hammers crossed, and the
motto, “I strike”—not a common crest
—and he never remembered to have seen
it before.
“And was that all
“’Cent the bank note. Thatwasina
poor old purse with a pawn-ticket and a
thimble. I kept them ail.”
Like a true detective Jack examined
every article minutely. Tho purse bore
the name Hester Gorrigan, in rude
letters inside, and the pawn-ticket was
made out in the same name.
THE SECOND HALF.
When Jack Newbiggin got back to the
parsonage he found that his host had
accepted an invitation for them both to
dine at the “Big House,” as it was called,
the country seat of the squire of the
parish.
“I have been fighting your battles all
day,” began Mrs. Ktillwell, the hostess,
when seated at dinner next to Jack.
“Was it necessary? I should have
thought myself too insignificant.”
“They were talking at lunch of your
wonderful tricks iu conjuring, and some
one said that the skill might prove in
convenient—when you played cards, for
instance.”
“A charitable imputation; with whom
did it originate?
“Sir Lewis Mallaby.”
“Please point him out tome.”
He was shown a grave, scowling face
upon the right of the hostess—a face
like a mask, the surface rough and
wrinkled, through which the eyes shone
with a baleful light, like corpse-candles
in a sepulchre.
Jack let his companion chatter on. It
was his habit to get all the information
possible about any company in which he
found himself, for his own purpose as a
clairvoyant, and when Mrs. Stillwell
flagged he piled her with artless ques
tions, and led her on from one person to
another, making mental notes to serve
him hereafter. It is thus by careful and
laborious preparations that many of the
strange and seemingly mysterious feats
of the clairvoyant conjuror are per
formed.
When the whole party were assembled
in tho drawing room after dinner a
chorus of voices, headed by that of the
hostess, summoned Jack to his work.
There appeared to be only one dissen
tient, Sir Lewis Mallaby, who not only
did not trouble himself to back up the
invitation, but when the performance
was actually begun was at no pains to
conceal his contempt and dssgust.
The conjuror made the conventional
plum pudding in a hat, fired wedding
rings into quartern loaves, did all manner
of card tricks, knife tricks, pistol tricks,
and juggled on conscientiously right
through his repertory. There was never
a smile on Sir Lewis’s face; he sneered
unmistakably. Finally, with an ostenta
tion that savored of rudeness, he took
out his watch, a great gold repeater,
looked at it, and unmistakably yawned.
Jack hungered for that watch directly
he saw it. Perhaps through it he might
make its owner uncomfortable, if only
for a moment. But how to get it iuto
his hands? He asked for a watch—a
dozen were offered. No, none of these
would do. It must be a good watch—a
repeater.
Sir Lewis Mallabys was tho only one
in the room, and he at first distinctly re
fused to lend it. But so many earnest
entreaties were addressed to him, tho
hostess leading the attack, that he could
not in common courtesy continue to re
fuse.
With something like a growl ho took
his wateh off the chain and handed it to
Jack Newbiggin.
A curious, old fashioned watch^t was,
which would have gladdened the heart
of a watch collector—all jeweled and
enameled, adorned with crest aud in
scription—an heirloom, which had
probably been in the Mallaby family
for years. Jack looked it over curiously,
meditatively; then, suddenly raising his
eyes, be stared intoutly into Sir Lewis
Mallaby’s face and almost as quickly
dropped them again.
“This is far too valuable,” ho said
courteously, “too much of a treasure, to
be risked iu nny Conjuring trick. Au !
ordiuary modern watch I might replace, I
but not a work of art like this.”
And ho handed it. back to Sir Lewis,
who received It with ill concealed satis
faction. He was as much pleased, prob
ably, at Jack’s expression of possible
failure in tho proposed trick as at tho
recovery of his property.
Another watch, however, Was pounded
into a jelly and brought out whole from
a cabinet in an adjoining room.
“Oh, but it is too preposterous,” Sir
Lewis Mallaby was heard to say, quite
angrily. Tho continued applause pro
foundly disgusted him. “This is the
merest charlatanism. It must be put an
•end to, It is the commonest imposture.
These are things which he has coached
up in advance. Let him be tried with
something which upon tho face of it ho
canuot have learned beforehand by
artificial means.”
“Tryjiira, Sir Lewis, try him your
self,” cried several voices.
“I scarcely like to lend myself to such
folly or encourage so pitiable an ex
hibition. ”
But he seemed to be conscious that
further protest would be„in Jack’s favor;
so he said u ‘,‘Can you tell what I have
in this pocket?” Ho touched the left
breast of his coat.
“A pocketbook,”
“‘Bah!’ Everyone carries a pocket-
book in his pocket,”
“But do you?” asked several of the
bystanders, all of whom were growing
deeply interested in this strange duel.
Sir Lewis Mallaby confessed that he
did, and produced it—an ordinary
morocco leather purse and pocketbook,
all in one.*
.“Are you prepared to go on?” said the
Baronet, haughtily, to Jack.
“Certainly.”
“Y/hatdoes this pocketbook contain?”
“Evidence.”
“Evidence of what?”
“Of facts that must, sooner or later,
come to light.”
“What ridiculous nonsense! I give
you my word this pocketbook contains
nothing—absolutely nothing—but a
Bank of England note lor £100.”
“Stay 'fi said Jack Newbiggin, facing
him abruptly, and speaking in a voice of
thunder. “It is not so—you know it—
it is only the half 1”
And as he spoke he took the pocket-
book from the hands of the really stupe
fied Baronpt and exhibited for inspec
tion—the half of a Bank of England note
for £100.
There was much applause at this harm
less and successful denouement of what
threatened at one stage to lead to alter
cation, perhaps to a quarrel. But Jack
Newbiggin was not satisfied.
“As you have dared me to do my
worst,” said he, “listen now to what I
have to say. Not only did I know that
was only the half of a note, but I know
where tho other half is to be found.”
“So much'the better for me,” said the
Baronet, with an effort to appear humor
ous.
“That other half was given to—shall I
say, Sir Lewis?”
Sir Lewis nodded indifferently.
“It was given to one Hester Gorrigan,
an old nurse, six years ago.”
“Silence! Say no more,” cried Sir
Lewis in horror.
Sir Lewis had been a younger son;
the eldest inherited the family title, but
died early, leaving his window to give
him a posthumous heir, the title remaining
in abeyance until time showed whether
the infant was a boy or a girl. It proved
to be a boy, whereupon Lewis Mallaby,
who had the first information of the fact,
put into execution a nefarious project
which he had carefully concocted in ad
vance. A girl was obtained in a found
ling hospital and substituted by Lady
Mallaby’s nurse, who was in Lewis’s
pay for the newly-bom son and
heir. This son and heir was
handed over to another accomplice, Hes
ter Corrigan, who was bribed with £100,
half down, in the shape of a half-note,
the other half to be paid when she an
nounced her safe arrival in Texas with
the stolen child. It occurred to Mrs.
Corrigan in her transit between I ondon
and Liverpool that though £100 would
be acceptable on her arrival, the child
would be only an encumbrance. She
therefore threw the basket containing
him out of the window, forgetting that
in it she had for safety deposited her
purse.
It was the watch borrowed from Sir
Lewis Mallaby which first aroused Jack’s
suspicions. It bore the same crest—two
hammers crossed, with the motto “I
strike”—which was marked upon the
linen of the child that Dan Blockitt
picked up at Kirklington station. The
initial of the name .Mallaby coincided
with the monogram II. L. M. From
these facts and what he had been told by
Airs. Stillwell,-Jack rapidly drew hiscon-
clusions, and made a bold shot, which
hit the mark, as we havo seen.
LewL Mallaby’s confession, combined
with that of Airs. Coirigan, who was
found by the police, soon reinstated the
rightful heir, and Dan Blockitt in after
years had no reason to regret the gener
osity which had prompted him to give
the little foundling the shelter of his rude
home.—Loudon Tid-Bits.
Fatal (Jnest for Diamonds.
A member of the Royal Society ot
England claims to have produced dia
mond dust^ artificially from carbon by
powerful compression through the
agency of electricity. Nearly a quarter
of a ceutury ago a resident of Sacramento
named l nderwood claimed to have
produced diamonds artificially from
carbon iu experimenting on a small scale,
lie succeeded in getting capital sub
scribed for the construction of a power
ful steel cylinder or. retort to compross
carbon into a dense form? The experi
ment. was made in au open tiold near
that city in presence of parties interested
in it. The pressure brought to bear on
the groat cylinder <vt retort was too
powerful, and it exploded, tho flying
fragments kil iug Underwood and an
other man and senoigfly wounding several
others.
mmme
mom
What if it
But the
And t.
m
goy;
And the little stairs
And the Htilo hours
Gives ton#all that
fa !
PITH
• m
New Japan.
The young Mikado, Mntsuhito, t&e
123d Emperor of the nameless dynasty,
was the first of the line to take the oath
as a ruler.
On the 12th of April, 1868. he made*
oath beforo gods and men that “a de
liberative as embly should be formed;
all measures should be decided by public
opinion, and that intellect and teaming
should be sought for throughout tho
world, in order to establish the founds
tioua of the empire.
Thia oath was reaffirmed October 12
1881, and this year 1890 is fixed as the
time for limiting the imperial preroga-
gative, forming two houses of parlia
ment, and transforming the government
into a constitutional monarchy.
T he Emperor’s capital was changed
from Kioto to Yedd’o, which was re
named and called Tokio.
Feudalism, or the holding of fiefs by
the damio, came to an end in 1H7F, by
imperial edict, and the whole of great
Japan was again directly under the Mi
kado’s rule. ' - g .~jsj
The titles of Kuze and daimo were also
abolished, both being rc-named simply
(Koo-as-o Icon), or noble families. The
distinctions between the lower orders of
people were scattered to the winds, and
even the defplsed outcasts were made
citizens, protected by law.
The degrees in rank among the Japan
ese are now as follows:
First. The Emperor end the royal
families.
Second. The Kuasoku, the noble
families.
Third. The Shizoku, the gentry.
Fourth. The Ileimin, the citizens in
generai.—From “Ortat Japan: the Sun
rise Kingdom, by Ida C. Hod nett, in St,
Nicholas for Notcmber.
Vegetarianism In England.
Perhaps the most remarkable thing
about such crazes as vegetarianism is
their power to infect even those who do
not seriously beiieve in them with an
utter inability to see facts as they really
are. A conference of London clergy,
convened by the Vegetarian Society, was
presided over by Archdeacon Farrar.
Though stating in his address that he
was not a vegetarian, Archdeacon Farrar
declared that “if ever the day came when
vegetarianism should be widely adopted
it would prove the one absolute remedy
for the curse of drink.” and went on to
say that “he believed that no vegetarian
was a drunkard.” Yet surely Arch
deacon F'arrar must know t^t the high
landers, who are practically vegetarians,
a;e the greatest consumers of whiskey in
existence, and that the drunkards of In
dia (and they are as bad as
ards in the world) are
tarians. No doubt ihi
vegetarians, whose simplee
ing to themselves, is coctulfii
three words, “fruit, graip.nut
drunkards; but this is hot becuee they
are vegetarians, but because the.’ are
mild-manuered innocent faddists.
Archdeacon Farrar’s exaggerations are
all the more to be regretted because vege
tarianism, in teaching people how to
make use of certain very cheap and
nourishing forms of food, is a real bene
fit to the world, and ought not to be
made ridiculous.—London Spectator,
A violin—A low
A private affai
A notable
A cold wa
A suit-at
tailors.
Alan; en arm
of lantf.dpyir
Greatest anaofcers In
chimneys.
A dinner fit for a
pigeon whole.
It isn’t every composer
Handel to his name.
The old shoe rery
comes an alley-gaiter.
The man who colons clo’
afraid of any dyer results.
Aeronauts are generally
balloons, unless they’are sick.
The broad highway that lei
struction is the route of all eviU i-^ ^- i
Funny, isn’t it? The only way a
clock can do bnsiness is on tick.
People who never read a word of Kent
on Philosophy can tell you ail about
Canton flannel. - , “
The under dog in the fight may be
right; but the top dog is more than that
-ho is all right, - '«fi
right.
The match trust is anofcheS-
exaipple of the necessity
these monopolies. .
If you want to hear a tide of
and destitution jnst ask a fellow fordW
moneyie owes you.—Judge.
The reason that an undertaker Jstataly
a melancholy man is because he- cap al
ways bury himself in bis business.--Stil-
ings. '■ -:•$[$? •
The duties of & critic are apt to be
sedentary. Be is' always sitting on
somebody or something. — flarjjei's
lizzar. i - Yri.' • ■ " "i- •>/
Smith—-“Was Shakespeare a broker?”
cs-riNd, ooarap tt^”
1 are not
Tho Dog’s Scent.
Of late much has been written on the
sense of smell in dogs, aud the following
is to me a puzzling instance. I fre
quently go to a place in the country in
pursuit of the early grouse, and of course
some Clumbers go with me, Champion
Johnny being invariably of the party.
When I drive to the post-office for my
mail, or elsewhere on business, the dogs
are shut up iu the house. Johnny then
watches for an opportunity to steal
away.
If he succeeds in doing so, I see him
running along the road that my buggy
has traveled, nose to the ground, taking
no notice of the approaching vehicle
until I call to him, when he trots after
me perfectly content. He has never
overtaken the trap, so I do not know
w’nat he would do in that ca-e. It makes
not the least difference what road I
travel, he follows every time he can make
his escape. Now what scent does he
follow up? The horses? The buggy
wheels? What?—Forest and Stream
About the Hair.
It has been asserted by medical science
that an undue proportion of iime in the
system causes the hair to turn grey pre
maturely. Consequently,avoid drinking !
hard water or using it in any way. Hard
water can be softened by boilipg it.
A late medical magazine says that a
liquid that will color ihe human hair
black, and not staim&he skin, may be
made by taking part of bay rum.
three parts of dCvo oil, and cue part of
good brandy, by measure. The hair
must be washed with the mixture every
morning, and in a shoit time, it (the
hair) will turnto a beautiful black, with
out being injured in the least. The arti
cles must be of the best quality, mixed
in a bottle, and must be well shaken up
before being used.
A hair oil recommended by a medical
journal is made of: Olive oil, two pints;
otto of roses, ono drachm; oil of rose
mary, one drachm. Mix.—Sf. Louie
j Magazine.
A Major’s Ephemeral Exaltation.
I Alderman Whitehead, who has been
j installed Lord Alayor of Londou, is a
j fanmaker by trade. Ho is, of course,
wealthy, as the salary of his office, $50,-
j 000, will not suffice for more than half
of his expenses. The glories of the po
sition are many. The Lord Alayor ranks
and has tho precedence of an English
Earl during his reign of twelve months.
He is addressed officially and in private
as “My Lord,” and his wife ranks at
court as a Countess. Onco the term is
-i ivev they sink back into plain “Mr.”
and “Mrs.” and are no longer eligible
for court functions.
y stock
A roan id- Kebraikfej*jVjB'fer.itei-
fng sausages. The evidence agai ns tSim
is sa : d to be conclusive. Not a link is
wanted. — Chi ago Tribune.
Now the ardent husker sizes
Mid the corn, each cob and spsar,
And he drops the crimson prizes
To impress a maiden’s ear.
—Siftings.
Stranger- “Well, boys, and how did
the game go to-day?” Boys—“We lost.”
Stranger—“What have you got in that
bundle?” Boys—“The umpire.”
“Did you ever take the pledge?” asked
a temperance advocate of a tramp.
“Often,” said the tramp. “Where:”
“At the pawnbroker’s,” was the bitter
reply.—Siftings.
“I hope you appreciate the fact, sir,
that in marrying my daughter you marry
a large-hearted, generous girl.” “I do
sir (with emotion); aud I hope she in
herits those qualities from her father.”
Dnde—“Can you—ah—sell me—ah—
a blue cravat to match my eyes—ah?”
Salesman—“I don't think—ah—that I
can; but I can sell you a very soft hat to
match your very soft head—ah!—Texas
Siftings.
Air. Clumsy—“What do you think of
my riding:” Teacher—“You haven't got
any talent for riding, but if you insist
ontrying to ride, you ought to practice
falling off without getting hart.”—
Texas Siftings.
“Are you on friendly terras with tho
defendant:” demanded a lawyer of a
witness in our Circuit Court yesterday.
“Well, I ain’t throwing no bouquets t>
him,” was the quaint answer.—Philadel
phia Record.
He Was Penniless.—Judge -“Fri; one >
Die evidence shows that you brutally as
saulted the plaintiff. “Have you any
thing to offer in extenuation !’’ Prisoner
”—“No, sir: my lawyer look a'l the
money I had.”-— Time.
Scientists have demonstrated that
there is more actual nutriment in twenty -
five cents’ worth of potatos than iu
twenty-five ceut-s’ worth of sirloin steak.
But who is going to pay the undertaker !
bill for the man who eats nine poandt
of potatoes at a sitting?
Chinese Beggars.
A writer in a Shaughat journal, re
ferring to the beggars of China, says
that large donations are given to them
by the people, but these are in the
nature of an insurance. In the cities
the beggars are organized into very
powerful guilds, more powerful by tar
than any organization with which they
have to contend, for the beggars have
nothing to lose and nothing to fear,^ in
which respoct they stand alone. The
shopkeeper who should refuse a donation
to a stalwart beggar, after the latter has
waited for a considerable time aud has
besought with what lawyers call “due
diligence,” would be liable to invasion
from a horde of famished wretches, who
would render the existonce even of a
stolid Chinese a burden, and would
utterly prevent the transaction of any
business until their continually rising
demands should be met. Both the shop
keeper and tho beggar understand this
perfectly well, and it is foi this reason
that the gifts fiow in a steady, if tiny,
rill.— London Times.