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THE FAYETTEVILLE NEWS.
PiMtehg bj THE NKWH PUBLISHING co. Devoted to the Interests of FayettevUle, Fayette County, and the Publishers.
Sabserlptioi Fries |LM
is A4i
VOL. 5.
FAYETTEVILLE, EAYETTE COUNTY, GA„ FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1893.
To Him Who Seeks.
Hope Is the message of the Eastertlmc;
And the elad Earth,
While yet the snow lies white upon the bill,
And while the Ice King wields his sceptre
still,
Heralds afar, with faint and tuneful chime,
The summer’s birth.
Only the cars attuned to melody
Can catch the strain;
Only for watchful eyes the first flowers blow
Benecth dead leaves and coverlet of snow;
And first to him who seeks her longingly,
Spring comes again.
Through all the voices of the waking year,
The Father speaks;
To heavy hearts, bowed with their weight of
grief,
He sends His promise in the budding leaf;
And first the messengers of Hope appear
To him who seeks.
—[C. E. Bancroft, In Youth’s Companion.
TEE PHANTOM TRAIN.
BY ARCHIE It. EGGLESON.
It was the summer of 1888, known
as the wet season. It rained continu
ally from the 1st of April till July,
and on every third or fourth day the
drizzle changed to a heavy shower.
Roads were impassable, and even rail
way traffic came to a standstill.
I was employed by the Great West
ern road and stationed at Wcstgate, a
beautiful town, not very largo, but
the centre of a piece of magnificent
scenery. To the north a majestic
grovo of oaks towored up from the
banks of the Big Stowe River winch
flowed sullenly along on its south
westerly course, leaving the little city
a short distauce to the east. A black
smith Bhop, two or throe stores, a res
taurant and hotel, a church and a
schoolhouso, which was |lighted up by
the pleasant face of tho postmaster’s
only daughter Stella, made up the
public buildings of the place, with the
addition of the depot and grain ware
house, where but little business was
transacted during the flood.
About a mile northward the railway
bridge spanned the Big Stowe, and 1
bad been requested by the bridge fore
man to make a trip out to the struc
ture every day just before dark to seo
that the approaches were safe, as in
every severe storm the river, already
swollen to full banks, would lap tho
end of the long bridge and whirl
fiercely around the piers.
I slept in my office, as duty com
pelled me to remain there quite Into at
Might, and it was but little troublo to
change my lounge into a bed. I had
also a corner occupied by a pony in
strument on which at odd moments
through tho day I instructed a young
studeut iu the art of telegraphy, feel
ing thankful for something to help me
to pass away time in such dull
weather.
One sultry evening, after a few
hours of clear sky, I placed my rail
way-tricycle on the track preparatory
to making my evening trip to the
bridge. Heavy banks of clouds could
be seen in the west, aud there was an
ominous stillness in the air that made
anxious to make a speedy trip.
It was a toilsome journey, and the
perspiration gathered on my fore
head and my breath became short be
fore I finished it; but, although i
found the water higher than it had
been, it was not more dangerous to
tho bridge.
Upon my return I took care to have
my switch-lights trimmed aud placed
out earlier tliau usual and hastily par
took of supper, for already the low
muttering of distaut thunder foretold
a heavy storm and a bad night. AVlien
it broke at last I was alone iu my
office, and the cracking of the tele
graph instruments, as tho lightning
played around them, resembled the
firing of a small pistol. Tho rain fell
in torrents aud the wind blew as if
would demolish everything before it.
I sat listening to the efforts of the
despatcher to make his train orders
plain, and when his continued repeti
tions made me nervous, fell back on
my guitar for consolation. After
playing every mournful melody I
could thiuk of, 1 spread out iny bed
and dropped on it, to rest, if not to
sleep. For some time I hoard tho
rain healing against tho window and
the wind rushing under tho cornico^of
the depot aud creepiug along the
rafters with sobs like those of a child;
then I dozed off to sleep, and nothing
troubled me.
I awoke sutldeuly to fiud myself
sitting up in bed, and to hear the
pony instrument working dearly, as
if handled by masterly fingers. I was
spellbound, for the apparatus was
couuected wi:h the main line, aud
there was no one in tho room; but it
clicked distinctly, and my blood
curdled as I recognized the call that is
used on the wires only fm those mes
sages that uro always sent to an
operator’s ear—the “death signal.”
Who was sending it?
1 spring out of bed, turned my
lumps higher, seized my fountain-pen
and mado ready to copy. The message
ran as follows;
“From Austin toC.W. G., Oclwein.
Number Four Night Limited wont
down at Big Siowo Bridge. Fifth
and sixth trestle washod out. Seven
ty-five killed. «*K. C.”
I read and reread this till my own
writing looked strango to mo as it lay
on tho desk, and then glanced at the
clock. It was a quarter toono. Num
ber Four was duo at Wcstgate at half
past two. So the message was sciitan
hour and a quarter bofore the train
would reach the place of the wreck I
At that minuto tho piercing whisllo
of a locomotive broke upon tho night
air. I glanced at the window aud saw
the red light of an approaching train
some fifty yards away. Throwing on
my coat and picking up my lantern, I
made my way to the platform, saying
aloud:
“The bridge was all right last
night. It is surely all right now.”
I stood a long time wniting for the
train to pass by. Number—“—Limi
ted stopped at Wcstgate, hut it came
no near and it mado no sound. Then
I saw that it was going at full speed
through a country with which I was
not familiar. Tho faithful engineer
stood in his cab, witli his hand on (ho
throttle, guiding through the darkness
the human freight that was trusted to
him for safe delivery; aud the fire
man, in the shadow, looked out with
a pallid face. They crossed streams
and halted at stations; the bell rang
and tho whistlo echoed, but there was
no rumble of wheels.
By aud by I began to recognize the
stations as thoy came to them. There
was the New Hampton depot, with tho
passengers crowning about the slops,
and friends meeting aud parting at the
door of the car. The conductor
walked out with his train-orders in his
hand. Tho mail-pouchos were ex
changed, and the phantom train went
on again.
Next came Fredericksburg, then
Suinuer, and then—O terrible fatol—
I could hear the humming roar aud
the panting of the engine; I could see
tho turbulent waters of the Big Stowe
lashing the approaches of the long
bridge. Tho train was slowing up to
cross it. I held my breath. It was
in the center of the great structure.
The engiiicor was calling for brakes.
1 could hear the escaping steam; and
the next instant it had plunged head
long into the black, seething mass of
water beneath!
I dropped on my knees and gave,
not a scream, but the wildest yell that
ever came from mortal lips. A mo
ment later, I wus fully awake, lying
on the office floor, where I had fallen
during my nightmare.
Soino time elapsed before I could
determine that it was all a dream. I
turned up my lamps, examined (he
little instrument that had clicked off
the warning message, looked for a
copy of it on my desk, and at last re
solved that, as I had atnplo tiina, I
would go out to Stowe and exnmino
the bridge bqfore Number Four was
due. If everything was right, no one
on tho trip lioed ever know of my
dream.
It was but the work of a moment
to get out my tricycle and light up the
henu-Iamp, and I was soon whirling
away toward to the river. Tho storm
had passed, leaving a bank of copper-
colored clouds in tho oast nml the
moon shining dimly in the far west.
As I drew nearer the hoarse voice
of tho Big Stowe became a roar, and
I found tho track covered with water.
The tricycle had to bo abandoned, and
I continued my way on foot through
still deeper waters till I reached the
bridge. I passed easily over the first
four trestles, and was angry to find
that I had such faith in the mysterious
messago that I was expecting dnngcr
in the fifth and sixth. When I stopped
and swung my lantern out ahead of
me, its gleam, aided by tho moon
light, showed me thirty-two feet of
rail vibrating to and fro over a yawn
ing chasm, whoro the mad waters
laughed and leaped and shrieked as if
a demon controlled them. The fifth
and sixth trestles wero washed nway,
and I knew by a warning scream of
tho locomotive that Number Four had
just left Sumner.
There was no help for it; I must
cross that gap on the rail and flag the
train that was coming through tho
darkness to doath aud destruction. 1
crouched down aud began my passage
for life, taking my lantern botween
my teeth, (hut 1 might have tho use of
both hands. Tho least dizziness or
weakness, tho slightest loss of balance,
would plunge mo into tho waves below,
and the train would be lost.
I crawled carefully along; now I
was moving successfully, now I was
trembling—now Hie swaying of tho
rail was turning iny head! I was
two-thirds of the way across when I
heard the train coining; a few steps
more, and the headlight of old Number
Four came swiftly around a curve and
bore down the loug grade.
I was liko a madman; in my excite
ment my teeth shut themselves tightly
on the wire handle of my lantern and
I crept like a beast of prey to tho firm
footing that lay before mo, whore I
stopped long enough to take my light
in my hand and wave the danger sig
nal. As I ran lightly up tho track I
waved it iu a dozen shapes and shouted
at tho top of my voice, though I knew
no one would hear me. Tho terrible
strain on my nerves gave way when I
climed up on the engine and tried to
explain matters to the engineer, who
had halted three hundred feet from
tho bridge. I got through with an
incoherent sentence in which “mes
sage” and “phantom train” repealed
themselves, and then I believe I cried
—at least tho boys suy 1 did; but they
never called it babyish; and the whole
crew called it a wonderful coinci
dence.— [New York Ledger.
Attacked By an Elephant.
When irritated by a wound the ele
phant of Indo-China, says an explorer
iu the New York Sun, becomes very
dangerous, especially to whito men.
While the elephant of India takes to
flight at the first shot, if its wound is
not mortal, tho Iudo-Chineso animal
at once atiacks the hunter. I had an
adventure of this sort:
I wanted to show the Cambodians
what a European hunter can do, mid I
therefore requested tho mandarin to
allow me to try a shot at the wild
herd, which meantime had retired
into the forest. Only afier my re
peated assurances that I should uot
hold him responsible for tho conse
quences, the mandariu gave his con
sent. I took my rifle and some am
munition, got ready for firing, and
ordered my Cambodian servant to
follow me at a distance witli my re
serve double-barrelled rifle. Entering
the forest, I saw three elephants
standing in front of me. I looked
round for my servant, but he was no
where to be soon. ■ A full-grown
female elephant, followed by a young
one, rushed toward me with uplifted
trunk aud fierce trumpetiugs. . I had
no time to spare to take good aim,
and so I fired into the open mouth of
tho beast. The tremendous recoil of
iny gun threw me to the ground, and
at the same moment 1 heard my serv
ant fire twice.
I quickly raised myself, but was
unable on account of the smoko of my
gun to see the elephant. Then I sud.
denly felt something grnze iny face,
and I was hurled a distance of several
yards, and lost consciousness. When
I recovered the Cambodians stood
around me. They had thought that I
was dead. My clothes were sprink
led with blood, and a pain in my up
per jaw convinced mo that there was
something wrong. I found that sever
al teeth had been knocked out. The
elephant liad knocked them out with
her trunk, and had dissappeared.
Three balls had not killed her. A
deadly wound can only be given when
the ball enters through t'ae temple or
the eye.
As the elephant has keen scent and
hearing, a European needs long ex
perience before lie can hunt the animal
successfully. Tho native, who creeps
noiselessly in his Anniinito costume,
has, in spite of his inferior weapons, a
better chance of success than a Euro
pean with his creaking boots and
breech-loader. The Benongs kill ele
phants with poisoned arrows, which,
although they cannot penetrate the
thick skin, may inflict a deadly wound
in softer pnrts, such as the trunk. Iu
such places the poisonous substance,
prepared from oxtracts of herbs, acts
so violently that the aniinul ofton dies
within ton minutes.
Eating Out of Troughs.
All tho men omployod on the Man-
iaco estate in Sicily, sloop on the
property on week nights and tramp
back to town for Sunday. Their
food is provided for them during the
week. In the morning thoy have a
large chunk of brown bread baked on
tho spot, a herring or a sardine, aud
as much wine as one can drink in ono
draught. In the evening thoy feed
like auimuls. There are wooden
troughs on tresses in tho open air, ar
ranged around three sides of n square
aud filled with a sort of “pasta.”
Tho men stand around these troughs
(thoy are like English pig troughs)
and feed with their fingers. It is iu
vain that their master lias tried to in
duce them to eat out of plates with
spoons. They broko the plates aud
threw the spoons away. Presumably
their idea is that sometimes there are
lumps in tho food, which, fooling
with their fingers, they are able to
seize upon, so securing a largo share-
—[National Review.
LI HUNG CHANG.
Rise and Public Career of the
Bismarck of China.
For Years He Has Been Vir
tual Chief of China.
The fact that one of tho greatest of
living statesmen arrived, a few days
ago, at his 76th year, has almost es
caped the attention of tho press. The
statesman in question is LI Hung
Chang, who, for over a quarter of a
century, has controlled the affairs of
the oldest empire in the world. For
the past thirty years every important
negotiation with foreign governments
has been practically conducted by Li
Hung Chang on behalf of tbe Chinese
Court; and the title of tho Bismarck
of China has been, perhaps appro
priately, applied to a man who em
bodies the views of tbe Pekin au
thorities as completely as the great
Chancellor ever represented the policy
of the German Empire. Li Huug
Chang first rose into fame during the
Taiping rebellion. When the empire
seemed to be at its last gasp he stepped
forward to the rescue and enlisted
foreigners to aid in cruehiug out the
gigantic insurrection which threat
ened the overthrow of the imperial
dynasty. To his action in sccuriug
the assistance of the tye Chinese Gor
don and other able mercenaries, may
be attributed the suppression of the
most formidable rebellion which has
disturbed tho Chinese Empire during
the past two hundred years.
Li Hung Chang rapidly rose in
favor, and in 1870 he was appointed
Viceroy of the Imperial Province and
Guardian of the Heir Apparent to tho
Throne. These offices, with numbers
of others, he has since held. It is not
often that an L Orienial statesman has
been able to hold his own for over
twenty years against detractors and
opponents, who commonly spring up
to check the career and thwart tbe
policy of prominent politicians iu the
East; and it may t.nly be said that if
it had not been for his sagacity in per
ceiving the merit of foreign inven
tions, and utilizing them to strengthen
the empire, and at the same time to
secure his own position as chief of
state, Li Huug Chang would doubt
less have shared the fate of other
famous but less fortunate Chinese
Premiers.
He established a torpedo school, an
arsenal, a railway and a foreign
trained military force within his juris
diction on lines which made him, be
yond comparison, tho most powerful
Viceroy in tbe empire. Even if policy
had made it advisable to weaken his
authority any attempt to do so would
have been attended with so much
danger that the palace government at
Pekin would probably have shrunk
from the endeavor. Happily for the
empire, as well as for Li Hung Chang,
the fact that his policy lias been suc
cessful and that ho has never appar
ently overstepped the limits of his
authority have kept him firmly estab
lished in office and in the favor of his
sovereign.
Li Lung Chaug shows no signs of
decline, and it is probable that he will
continue for years to coine to be the
virtual chief of the Chinese Empire.
It is to be hoped that this will prove
tho case, for lie surpasses other Chin
ese statesmen of the day in liberality
of thought and action. Ho has a
prudent appreciation of the strength
and capacity of ‘Western nations, ami
while he makes it his aim to maintain
by every means within his grasp the
power and influence of China, he pre
fers diplomacy to forco in dealing
with Europeans and Americans. Ho
has improved immensely the defensive
ability of tho empire, and while in
this ho has served his own ends, lie
has also hail in view the interests of
his country. There can be no com
parison between tho China of tho
present and tho past, so far as military
aud naval power are couccrncd. This
should not be forgotten by American
statesmen when called upon to pro
vide for the protection of American
interests iu the Pacific. — [New York
Press.
Anecdote of General Beauregard.
The death of General Beauregard re
calls to an old contributor to Harper’s
Weekly tho unusual circumstances
uuder which his last interview with
Beauregard.took place. Ho writes:
“AVlion iu Confederate service I
was thrown in with General Beaure
gard in a fairly singular manner, anil
tho incident of my coming across him
won d have made a neat episode for
Archibald Forbes. It was (wo days
nftor the fall of Columbian, South
Carolina, nml I had been ordered ou
ticklish service, which was to scout as
near to Columbia as nossihle.
“I hnd been working on from dawn,
and fairly familiar witli the country,
avoiding the roads, 1 hail taken short
cuts across the woods. I made out
beyond ac limp of trees a man, some
what Nnpolcoiieequc in attitude, for
his hands were cin«pcd behind his
back. lie was striding to and fro be
fore some embers. Peering through
the thicket which screened me, 1
knew it was General Beauregard. It
never would liavo done to have
bounced in on him. My arrival was a
surprise. Ho wheeled quickly, as if
on a pivot, and faced me. 1 told him
that if he remained an hour more
where he was bivouacking, lie stood a
fair chance of being captured.
“lie certainly did not know the
danger lie was in. I was probably
much more excited than was General
Beauregard, for he received the infor
mation I gave him with perfect sang
froid. Then lie called to an officer—
who wa9 his aid, I suppose— who came
in, tottering under an armful of wood,
and addressed him in French. As I
was familiar with French, I said,
‘General Beauregard, English or
French arc about the same to me, so
if you do uot wish me to understand
what you are saying, I had better go
away.’ I again explained conditions
to him, giving him fuller details. In
a few minutes the mule was harnessed,
the wagon crashed through the brush,
and that was the last I saw of General
Beauregard.
“AVanting to learn whether he re
membered the incident, I wrote him
in November, 1884, aud this is a por
tion of his courteous reply: “I have
a recollection of the incident, I have
no doubt that you saw mo much
troubled in mind. AVhcn you came
suddenly upon me on tho road I was
still in doubt as to which route to fol
low.”
“Two hours afterwards five com
panies of United States cavalry, four
hundred strong, were scouring that
South Carolina wood.”—[Harper's
AVcekly.
Plenty of Beer Left.
J. L. Dobbins, the former trapper
and deer hunter of Reynolds County,
Mo., Is spendiug a week at the
Laclede. Mr. Dobbins has probably
killed more deer and black bear be
tween the east fork of Black River
and Marble Creek than any hunter in
Southwest Missouri. AVhile his long,
silvery locks indicate his extreme age,
his eyesight is yet good and not less
than twenty deer have fallen before
his AViuchester since November.
“It’s no trouble to kill them, boys,
but they are rather hard for a stranger
to find,” remarked the old trapper to
a group of listeners at the St. James.
“1 have tramped all over the famous
Bush Mountains, Cuford’s Range, the
Shiitin, the twin Hills, the banks of
the Big Black, Curreut River, Marble
Creek and other places in tho south-
cast for thirty years, and I know
nearly every hill and rock iu the
country. Of course, gamo is not as
plentiful now as it was then, but it is
all a mistaken idea about the deer
being exterminated; there are plenty
of them right now in the canebrakes
and mountains of Southern Mis
souri, but no hunting party from
the city can find them; it takes us old
managers to do that, and, as hunting
is our living, wo are not very fast iu
informing liuuting parties where to
find them, but ou tho other hand we
siecr them just as far away from tho
game as possible. AVliilo I don’t pre-
eumo one man out of ten from the
city could kill a deer, they succeed iu
frightening them out of tho country.
These are the parties that arc respon
sible for the statement that there are
no deer in tho slate. They are in
structed by tho hunters to go to this
place anil that place until they become
disgusted, shoot a few squirrels anil
pull out for home with the impression
that there was not a deer within 500
miles of where they wore hunting.
— [St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Smoke Detrimental to Health.
A St. Louis physician says that there
is no doubt whatever that the adop
tion of some practical raothod that will
abate tho Buioke nuisance will greatly
add to the health of the city as well as
to the general comfort and cleanliness.
It is a mistake to call the various de
vices smoke consumers. You cannot
consume smoke, but there are several
plans by which tho nuisauce can be
greatly lessened by condensing the
soot, which is what makes the smoko
so unpleasaut. Smoke thus free is
much lighter, and will readily rise iu
the air and be carried away; butladeu
with soot aud ashes, it becomes heav
ier tliau air, aud naluraily settles
toward the ground, where high build
ings prevent the wind sweeping it
away. This soot-ladeu smoke is the
cause of nearly all tho throat and lung
diseases iu the city.— [Detroit Free
Press.
NO 38.
CHILDREN’S COLUMN,
BEGINNINGS.
O mighty, mighty river, flowing down so
deep and calm,
AVlth the mills upon thy fingers and the
ships upon thy palm!
Tell me why thou never tallest, never grow-
est weak and small.
But with ever-swelling current brlngest
down thy wealth to all?
Quickly then the river answered: “Praise
the little mountain spring,
Ever sparkling, ever gushing, for the precious
gifts I bring.
“Far away among the forests, where the
moss lies deep and cool,
There tbe mill hums iu a crevice, and the
ship swims in a pool!”
—[James Buckham, in Harper’s Young Peo
ple.
“don’t LOOK AT TnK CLOCK.”
This is the motto Thomas A. Edi
son, the “electric king,” once gave to
a boy who desired his advice ou get
ting on in the world. Tho implica
tion is obvious.
An employe who measures out the
time he gives to business by tho min
ute, slopping in the midst of any work
on which he happens to be engaged
the instant the whistle blows, is uot a
clerk to be depended on. Just as he
watches the clock, so his employer
watches him, realizing that he needs
it. There is no heart in such working.
The boy who starts in on a business
career with no higher aim than to
make each day seem as short as possi
ble and to draw his salary on Satur
day, is certain not to have his pockets
weighed down with an increase in his
pay.
Don’t look at the clock, then. Time
will pass no more quickly because of
your doing so; the way to bring this
about is to throw such zeal| and whole
heartedness into the discharge of your
duties that yon will forget sucb limi
tations as time, which will then fly so
swiftly that you will not note its pts-
sage.— [Argosy.
THE TtlREE CARAVELS OF COLUMBCS.
Iu the days of Columbus ves els were
generally called “caravels,” and it of
considerable size for thoee timos they
were called by the Spaniards uaos.
AATien Queen Isabella determined to
help Columbus to make his voyage,
a royal order was sent to the city of
Palos to fit out three caravels and to
place them at the royal disposal. The
city made a pretense of complying,
but it was so well knowu that the
ships wero for Columbus’s hazardous
venture into the terrible western ocean
that neither mouey nor force could
get them equipped and manned. Over
and over again the. people were as
sembled iu tho public square and tbe
order read with great pomp, but all
in vain.
Columbus, in his despair, begged
that the prisons be opened and the
convicts allowed to go with him.
Finally, a ship-owner of Pulos, Martin
Alonzo Pinzon, was induced, by an
offer of a large share of the rewards
iu case of discoveries, to make an
active eflort to fit out the expedition.
He was a popular sea-captain and a
vigorous man of business, and it was
entirely dne to him that Columbus was
able to set sail from Palos ou his ever-
memorable voyage. Piuzon con
demned two of the caravels given by
the town, aud substituted two stanch
vessels of his own. One was a
decked vessel of three hundred tons,
large enough to be called a nao, and
the other was a little thing with lateen
sails, which was chosen on account of
her light draught, iu case rivers had
to be ascemled in the country they
expected to discover. The nao was at
first named the “Gallega,” but they
renamed her the “Santa Maria.”
Columbus took her for his flag-ship,
for he held an admiral’s commission
from Ferdinand and Isabella. The
little lateen-rigged caravel was called
the “Nina.” Of the three caravels
offered by tbe town of Palos, tlio only
ono which Pinzon considered seawor
thy enough to accept was tbe “Pints,’>
a boat about half as large as the Santa
Maria, and rigged like her. His
shrewdness iu rejecting tho others
was fully proved before the expedi
tion reached the Canaries; for it was
discovered that the Pinla had been
tampered with, aud had been pur
posely weakened. A long delay iu
tbe islauds was necessary to repair
her.
Such were the vessels in which Col
umbus discovered America; one as
large as a small schooner, and the
other two about the size of lighters.
Hnd he suspeclod the length of his
journey, or knowu of the terrible
storms which enu rage in the Atlantic
Ocean, he never would bavo dared to
venture out iu craft so frail. —[St.
Nicholas.
The New Orloaus Board of Trade
rocomineuds the shipping aud hand
ling of rice iu bulk instead of iu bag*
as at present
The Land of Dreams.
I have a boat which every night
A little alter candle-light,
Spreads its white sails and floats away
Far from the world of every day,
To Land of Dreams.
A fairy zephyr fills the sail,
Then, in a sea of moonlight pale,
1 drift to land of elf and fay
And watch these fairie folk at play,
In Land of Dreams.
And often I would linger there,
But, softly speeding through the air,
My boat so swiftly takes its way,
That I am home at break of day
From Laud of Dreams.
HUMOROUS.
If a giri’a face is her fortune, what’e
the figure?
A maker of artificial optics has got
to have an eye out for business.
“There is something iu your eye,”
remarked the thread to the needle.
Civilization has done its worst for
the poor Indian when he won’t even
hunt for a living.
Snodgrass—AVhat a stingy man Jar-
smith is. Suively—Yes; lie even ob
jects if you make a joke at his ex
pense.
“Do you think that a ‘J’ in a man’s
name is lucky, as some people say.”
“Sure. Look at Job, and Jonah, and
Jeremiah.”
“AVhat ig the biggest thing you will
see at the AVorld’s Fair?” asked Mrs.
Fucasli. “My hotel bill,” replied her
husband, gloomily.
Barbers complain that their busi
ness is not what it was fifteen years
ago. They have to scrape hard to
get a living nowadays.
Guide—Now, you bo careful;
many a tourist hns brokeu his ueck at
this spot. Tourist (to his wife)
—Augusta, you go first.
Creditor—Tho consciences of those
two bankrupts appear to be very elas
tic. Assigaee—AVell, don’t you ex
pect elasticity iu suspenders?”
“How the wind comes iu through
the the cracks of that door. They
ought to be stripped.” “Stipped?
No, no. They need more cloth tacked
over them.
“Doctor, when do you ihink a man
weighs most?” asked a patient who
was undergoing a course of dietary
treatment. “A\ r hen he steps on my
corns,” answered ihe doctor.
Daughter (icokiug up from her
novel)—Papa, iu time of trial what
do yon, supposo brings the most com
fort to a man ? Papa (who is distriot
judge)—Au acquital, I should think.
“Is his lordship at homo?” asked a
a gentleman of a well-powdered
flunky. “Don't know, sir, I’m sure.
I will inquire.” He returned with the
message, “No, sir; his lordship de
sires me to say th it he has just gone
out.” “Ah I thank you very much.
Kindly give him my compliments and
aud say I didn’t call!”
Story of the Jonah Mine.
Charles F. Danforth of Boise City,
Idaho, is at the Shermau House.
“I used to be a miner away down-
in tho southwest corner of Idaho,’’
said Mr. Danforth. “AVe had a big
mining camp down there, between
Topaz aud Squaw Creek. And it was
as tough a camp as you’d wish to meet
iu a day’s walk. There were two
great partners iu tho camp, known
simply as Bill and Joe. You never
saw two such close friends—thoy ate,
drauk, slept, shot and worked to
gether. Joe anil Bill had a ciaim
about a mile from camp. Of all the
fellows iu the camp thoy had - the
worst luck. Their mine scarcely paid
their whiskey bill, to say nothing of
their losses at poker. The poor boys
were notorious for their bad luck.
“Finally thoy concludoil our camp
was a ‘Jouah’ for thorn and that they
would sell out anil leave. Of course,
they couldn’t sell such a dead mine in
our region, so they decided that Bill
should travel to parts where it had
never been heard of and endeavor to
‘unload’ the mino, while Joe should
stay and continue work. Boforo Bill
departed they between them fixed up
a lot of Ihe most monstrous and seduc
tive lies ever dreamed of.
“Bill sallied forth, armed to the
teeth, as it were, to snare the un
wary, and his glowing description of
their mine very nearly landed a pur
chaser a time or two. .Too worked
away patiently at the mine. Finally
one day, about a week after BUI had
left, he struck it rich. He rushed to
the telegraph office nud seut the fol
lowing message to Bill:
“Don’t sell the mine. Our lies are
all true.”—[Chicago News.
The average annual income of evory
fanner iu Suiter County, California,
is about $8000, anil the average as
sessed property is about $2000 to eaeh
voter.