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ADVICE TOJUSBANDS Give Up Your Barren Scepter as Master of the House. JOHN HAY’S FIRST SPEECH. A Witty Response to the Tcast “Our Countrywomen" at a Banquet In Paris When He Was Secretary of Legation In the French Capital. By official proclamation President Johnson set apart the first Thursday of December. 1865. as a day of na tional thanksgiving. The American tesidents and visitors in Paris deemed It an occasion to be celebrated with more than usual ceremony. The re sult was that at 8 o’clock on the even ing of the 7th of December some 253 of our countrymen sat down to a dinner in the spacious dining room of the Grand hotel in Paris, then regard ed by travelers as the most elegant public dining hall In Europe. After a succession of speeches the chairman closed t he entertainment with a toast to “Our Countrywomen” and asked Colonel John Hay, then secretary of legation in Paris, to re spond to it. As this was probably tin first public speech Mr. Hay had ever made and though nothing he then said could possibly add any luster to his subsequent career, it may Justly be said that it was more successful than the first public effort in oratory either of Sheridan or of Beacons field. lie replied in part as follows: “My Countrymen (and I would sny my countrywomen but that the for mer word embraces the latter when ever opportunity offers)—l cannot un derstand why 1 should have been call ed upon to respond to this toast of all others, having uothing but theo retical ideas upon the subject to be treated—one. in fact. I must be pre sumed never to have handled. [Laugh ter and applause.J “I have been called up. too. by a com mittee of married men. I can think of no claim 1 have to be considered an authority in these matters except what might arise from the fact of my hav ing resided In early life in the same neighborhood with Brigham Young, who has since gained some reputation as a thorough and practical ladies’ tnan. [Great laughter.] I am not con scious. however, of having Imbibed any such wisdom at the feet of this matrimonial Gamaliel as should justly entitle me to be heard among the elders. “So I am Inevitably forced to the conclusion that these husbands cannot trust each other's discretion. The se crets of the prison house arc too im portant to be trusted to one of the prisoners. So Ignorance of the matter In hand lias come to be held an abso lute prerequisite when any one is to be sacrificed to the exigencies of this toast. “I really do uot see why this should be so. It is useless for husbands to attempt to keep this thin veneering of a semblance of authority. The sym bols of government they still retain de ceive nobody. They may comfort t hem fort themselves wish the assurance of some vague. Invisible atiprcmaup, like that of the spiritual mikado or the grand llama, but the true tycoon is the wife. A witty and profound observer the other day said. ‘Every husband doubtless knows he is master in his own house, but he also knows his neighbor’s wife is master in hers.' [Laughter and cheers.| “Why should not you. husbands of America, admit this great truth and give up the barren scepter? Things would go much easier if you ceased the struggle to keep up appearances. The ladies will not be hard on you. They will recognize the fact that, after all. you arc their fellow creatures, ami you can be very useful to them in many little ways. They will doubtless allow you to pay their bills, take care of their children and carry their votes to the ballot box just as you do now. "You had better come down grace fully. and. above all. let no feeling of discovered inferiority betray you into evil speaking of tiie domestic powers. There have been recent instances of distinguished gentlemen, no doubt in stigated by rebellious husbands, who have recklessly accused these guard ian angels of your fireside of being extravagant and frivolous. Those things are never uttered with impuni ty. 1 would not insure the life of one who libels the ladies for less than cent per cent. "Discite justitiutn monlti et non tetn nere Divas, which, as you may not un derstand the backwoods pronunciation of the classic warning. 1 will translate with a freedom befitting the day we celebrate: “Now. all you happy husbands. Beware the rebel's fate! Live in obedience alt your lives. Give up your latcbKeys to your wives And never stay out late ’ [Laughter and cheers.J—From John Bigelow’s "Retrospections of an Active Life” in Metropolitan Magazine. t The Alternative. ♦ Col jfitiient— Say. Bill, the salary that goes with my Job isn’t half enough to live on. Can’t you use your influence to have it ra.sed a little? Al derman—l’m afraid not. Jake. But I’ll do better than that. I’ll use my in fluence to have a cheaper man appoint ed to the place.—Chicago Tribune. A Quick Thinker. Dittersdorf Here come two evil looking rascals. I shouldn't wonder if we were held up. Heinz. — I’m afraid so. By the bye. here’s that dollar you lent me this morning.—Meggendorfer Blatter. A UNIQUE EXPERIMENT. Boiling and Freezing Water at the Same Time. The possibility of boiling and frcez ing water at the same time in the lab oratory is oue of the most interesting developments of modern science. The temperature at which water boils de pends simply on the air pressure above its surface at the time. If there is high pressure the water has to be made a g( od deal hotter to boil than at low pressure. On mountains where the air pressure Is a good deal lower than at sea level water boils easily at low temperature. In cooking vegetables that require a certain degree of beat and where the water boils before that degree is readi ed the vegetables will not get done. They consequently have to be put into a closed boiler so that the generated steam will create enough pressure for the water to boil at or beyond the re quired temperature. In the experi mental proof of this fact water is placed in a vessel and the air ex hausted from above the surface of the water. As the process of pumping goes on the water will violently boil, the steam congealing on the sides of the exhaust vessel. If the pumping is continued long enough and the outside is cooled below the freezing point of water the water will continue to boil and bubble till it is frozen into a snowy mass of ice. This fact is also made use of in tak ing a rough test of the height of i mountain. Ordinarily at sea level where the pressure is about thirty Inches of mercury water boils at 212 degrees F. Now. if it is noticed that at a certain place it boils at a few degrees lower the height of that place can be easily ascertained by com parison with a table made out for this purpose. In general for every degree the boiling takes place under 212 a height of about 500 feet Is counted. Of course those principles do uot ap ply to water alone, but are characteris tic of all liquids.—New York Tribune. FISH LOCOMOTION. Tho Nature and Functions of the So Called Air Bladders. Leaning over the parapet of some old stone breakwater or pier head and watching the fish playing about in the clear green depths below, perhaps the last thought which is likely to occur to any of us is that we are lookiug on at a really astonishing thing. That a tish is able to propel itself through the wa ter in any desired direction is in no way surprising, but that it can change its level at will, rising or falling with out the use of its tins, and instantly assuming a horizontal or vertical posi tion, according to the mood or need of the moment, is a fact that a little re flection will soon develop into prime motive for wonder. For it is clear that the fish must be able at will to vary its weight in rela tion to tlie water it displaces. When it sinks to the bottom it must have sud denly rendered itself heavier than the medium it Inhabits; each time it rises to the surface like a released cork, head first, tail pointing almost vertical ly downward, it must not only have transformed itself into something lighter than the water, but must have become lighter in its fore parts than in its tail. The mystery, for such it undoubtedly is on a casual siiryey, says the London Chronicle, resolves itself immediate!}' we come to study the nature and func tions of tlie so called air bladder in fishes. By this contrivance all these intricate movements of the tish are brought about. The bladder, however, contains not air, as is commonly supposed, but gas. which is discharged or regenerated by certain organs of the fish, according to whether upward or downward tuove- mont is necessary: also either tin* whole length of the bladder or only its front or rear portlou can be in fin ted. Thus the fish is able to swim level or. by altering its center of gravity, to raise or lower either head or tail at will. Singular Services of Sheep. In the northern part of India sheep are put to a use unthought of in Euro pean or American countries. They are made to serve as beasts of burden The mountain paths along tin* foothills of the Himalayas are so precipitous that the sheep, more sure footed than larger beasts, are preferred as burden carriers. The load for each sheep is from sixteen to twenty pounds. The sheep are driven from village to vil lage. with the wool still growing, and in each town the farmer shears as much wool its he can sell there and loads the sheep with the grain which ne receives In exchange. After the flock has been sheared be turns it homeward, each sheep having on its back a small bag containing the pur chased grain. Economy. Mrs. Blockley—John, do you know that Royal Worcester vase I bought yesterday for £5? Well, they reduced them to £3 this morning. Mr. Block ley—Then you lost £2 by not waiting until this morning. Mrs. Blockley—Mo: only £l. 1 went down today and bought another for £3. making two of them average £4 each —London Fun. Bobby’s Questions. Small Bobby—Papa, why cij a man run faster than a boy? Papa—Because he is bigger, my boy. Small Bobby (after pondering for a few moments)—Well, if that’s the rea son. why don't the hind wheels of a wagon run faster than the front wheels?—Chicago News. If you wish to reach the highest, be gin at the lowest.—Syrus. How Qld Spiders Live. Old spiders, which have neither web nor the materials to make one, often hunt about to find out the welts ot other spiders, younger and weaker than themselves, with whom they ven ture battle. The invader generally succeeds, and the younger spider is driven out to make it new web, and the old spider remains in possession until a stronger spider invades the web and drives it out. When thus dis possessed the spider seldom ventures another attack, but tries to subsist upon the few inserts that may fall accidentally into its clutches and eventually dies of hunger. Insolent. “Why arp you so indolent?" demand ed tlie stern parent. “You don’t see me letting the grass grow under my feet.” “No.’’ replied the son. “If you had let some grow under your feet you wouldn't he so near having it grow over your head.”— Philadelphia Record. An Optimist. “I’a. what’s an optimist?” “A man who has four children and continues to think the price ot living is no more than it’s worth.’—Ex change. Perhaps It Is. “If you want a thing well done"— “Get an expert to do it for you. Ain’t that more sense than what you were going to say?”—Cleveland Lead er. THE COMET HUNTER. His Emotions When He Finds a New Wanderer In Space. The process ot omet (muting is per haps the most fascinating branch or practical astronomy. If there still lives among us moderns one only survivor of the traditional astronomer, one pa tieut, expectant lover of ike skies, seek him among the comet hunters, for today, its of old. you will find him perched on some tower scanning the heavens from dusk to dawn, sleepless, almost hopeless ot success, yet ever | supported by the thought that perhaps | he, 100, may add his chapter to tlie j story celestial. Let us follow him at | his work. Suddenly he sights a taint j patch of hazy light, is for an instant | uncertain, yet trusts that his eye de -1 ceives him not. Another minute and a larger telescope lias made him sure, it is there. He hurries to his library and consults Herschel's catalogue ot known nebulae. lie finds the plaee in the book; down the page runs his eager finger. There is nothing recorded at that exact spot on the sky. It must be a comet. Yet even Herschel's careful scrutiny was not so very Infrequently at fault. As yet there is no certainty. He must apply the Him I test. The larger telescope is now brought into play. If this is truly a comet it must he following some appointed or bit in space. It must be changing its position with reference to the stars. Probably half an hour will serve to settle the question to an experienced eye. The minutes pass. Is there mo tion or is there not? He thinks there is. Now he is almost sure there is Yes. No man could remain impassive. Ilis pipe goes out; he forgets to smoke. Another quarter hour makes assurance , doubly sure. Success is tns. But now he is seized with anew fear. Is he the tirst or has some other anticipated the discovery? There is another tireless comet hunter who lives in \ ienna. Perhaps even now ; word is on the telegraphic cables. There is need of haste. The astrutio i mer runs to the telephone, calls long distance and asks for the Harvard ! college observatory, which is the cen tral distributing station for announc ing uew discoveries. They iell him j calmly that they have heard nothing; that the discovery will beat once veri fied and made known by cable ami I telegram in every observatory through out tlie world before morning, our astronomer goes to shut up his tele scopes. He will work uo more tonight, but he sways a little as be crosses the i room.—Professor Harold Jacoby iu j Harper’s Weekly. 10 Per Cent. Saved on Plows at WOODRUFFS 11 ~ //- § \ WE ARE HEADQUARTERS for Plows, and mean just what we say when we say we can save you 10 per cent, on your Plows. We have the goods, and we are willing to make the prices: Small one-horse Chilled Plow $ 4 00 Large one-horse Chilled Plow 4 50 Small two-horse Chilled Plow 6 00 Regular two-horse Chilled Plow 7 50 Extra large two-horse Chilled Plow 8 (X) Best Chilled Middle Breakers 7 50 Steel Middle Breakers 9 00 Large Steel Middle Breakers 10 00 Chattanooga Reversible Disc Plows 33 00 Avery Reversible Disc Plows 33 00 John Deer Stalk Cutters *2B 00 We affirm that the alxrve prices are 10 per cent, under what others get for similar goods. Come while they last, and save money. Woodruff Hardware and Manufacturing Cos. WIINDER. GA. ANNOUNCEMEN1 1 . I beg to inform my friends and the public that I have secured the agency for the celebrated if /yU\ \ HUB BRAND SHOES VVBV/ For Men, Ladies and Children. Before buying your shoes call and inspect mv line. I wiU save you money and sell you better shoes. F. HOFMEISTER, Winder, Ga. A FAR SIGHTED MAN, Knowing the uncertainties of the future and realizing the responsibilities of life, does not let the fire which may consume his property hud him without Insurance. Furthermore, he pro tects his estate and those dependent on him by insuring his own life. For reliable Insurance, life and fire, see KILGORE & RADFORD, Insurancec Agents, BfcirOffice at The Winder Banking Company. H. J. GARRISON, THE. JE.WLL LR FULL LINE OF High-Class Jewelry, Watches, Clocks, Silverware, Etc. —— MJMh mrm* •* fcWH HMMr 1 RMMMMMuaMH DVMMMMMWMM Repairing a Specialty H. J. GARRISON.