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A CHINESE STRATAGEM. Legend of How a Projected Invasion Was Averted. Rajah Suran, who was oue of the of India, overrun the Uptlre east with the exception of Chi na. killed innumerable sultans with his own hand and married all their daugh ters. It is said that when the Chinese heard of his triumphant progress and learned that he had reached their frontier they became much alarmed. The emperor called a council of his generals and mandarins, and upon the advice of a crafty old mandat in the following strntegem was carried out: A large ship was loaded with rusty nails, trees were planted on tln> deck, '.the vestal was manned by n numerous crew of old men and dispatched to the rajah's capital. When it arrived -the most wonderful part of the story i that it 3id arrive—the rajah sent an officer to ask how long it had taken the t essel to make the trip from China. The Chinamen answered that they had all been young men when they set sail and that on the voyage they had plant ed the seeds from which the great trees had grown. In corroboration of their story they pointed to the rusty nails which. they said, had been stout irou bars as thick as a man's arm when they started. “You can see," tgthey “concluded, -'‘that China must be a very long distance away." The rajah was so much impressed by these plausible arguments that he concluded he would not live long enough to reach China and abandoned his projected invasion. SNEEZING. It Must Have Been a Violent Operation Before Jacob’s Time. We frequently hear the expression "God bless you!" uttered after some one has sneezed.. The expression, if we can believe Clodd in his "Child hood of the World,” dates back to the time of Jacob. We are told in Jewish literature that previous to his time men sneezed but once in a lifetime and that was the end of them, for the shock slew them. Jacob prevailed in prayer and had the fatality set aside on the condition that among all the nations a sneeze should, be hallowed by the words “God bless you!” In the “Jataka,” one* of the books oi tbo Buddhist Scriptures, w<e rend that the expression was, "May the blessed Lord allow you to live!” Buddha on one occasion i bile preaching to his disciples hapnonc 1 to sneeze. The priests gave vent to the exclamation, and Buddha lectured them for interrupting his discourse. “if when a person sneezes,” he ask ed, “ami you say. ‘May he live.’ will he live the longer?” “Certainly not!" cried the priests. “Aud if you do not say it will he die any the sooner?" “Certainly not!” was the reply. “Then,” said Buddha, “from this time forth if any one sneeze aud a priest says 'May you live’ he shall be guilty of a transgression.”—London Spectator. The Kind Caddie. “Dnce in a game," said the golfer. “I had the good fortune to be six holes up on my opponent by the time the eigth hole was reached. At the eighth green something went wrong with our reckoning of the strokes, and I claimed that I had won that hole, too, while my opponent claimed that it was halved. After a mild dis pute I yielded. “But as I moved on with my caddie I couldn’t help grumbling: “ ‘Well, you know, Joseph. I gave in. But I still think 1 won that hole after all.’ “The boy.- with a frown, turned shocked and reproving eyes on me. Disgusted with my greed for holes, he whispered hurriedly, so that my op ponent should not overhear: “‘Shut up. can’t you? Do ye want to break the man's heart?'" Ex change. Laughter. Overindulgence in laughter is repro bated by Emerson. Explosions of it. he says, should be under strict control, and he quotes approvingly the saying of Lord Chesterfield, "1 am sure that since I had the use of my reason no hu man being has ever heard me laugh.” But Emerson is not altogether consist ent in this matter, for. whereas in one passage he refers to laughter as a “contemptible squeal of joy.” in an other it becomes a “pleasant spasm.' and he gratefully acknowledges “the rest and refreshment we get from the shaking of the sides.” Moreover, he admits that “to see a man in a high wind run after his hat Is always droll." Presumably If the man Is bald and the road Is muddy even Chesterfield might be led to emit a contemptible squeal.— London Chronicle. Invisible Dogs. The coat of a red setter normally stands out fairly clear against heath er of the ordinary hue. When, how ever, it gets soaked with rain it dark ens very much and blends very close ly with the heather. The Gordon set tters are perhaps the worst in this re gard of assimilating with the color of heather and so being liable to get a charge of shot.—Country Life. A NEtV YEAR’S DIVORCE. Old pipe of mine, ve’ve got to part; I leave you soon forever; Though you are twined about my heart, We’ll meet in future—never. I’ll swear you’ve faithful been and true, You've put dull care to* chase, But there nas come ’twixt you and me * That woman in the case. Old pipe of mine, the day draws near When from me you must roam; No longer may I know the cheer You brought into my home. No longer when the shadows fall And night comes onjapace, I’ll take you up. Oh, cup of gall! That woman in the case! I loved you first, I hear you say, 1 pledged my troth to you, And I have loved you from that day I promised to true. ’Tis so, but I was young and green. A youth, with bardless face; 1 little thought there’d come between That wonr.aa in the case. You were my love in days of old; Old pipe, I love you still, But there’s a woman in the fold THathasa stronger will. Forever from my life you’re banned. Denied your fav’rite placp; Ejected by supreme command, The woman in the case. No longer when my heart grows sad Will you bring peace to me; The comforts you and I have had In future cannot be. You will not sooth rnv aching brow, My drooping spirits brace; There stands to seperate us now The woman in the case. Old pipe, farewell, a long farewell, F or you and I must part; With me no longer may you dwell, > Another rules my heart. You think I’m cowardly to so Desert you in disgrace, But then, old pipe, you do not know The woman in the case. —Detroit Free Press. DREAMS “A remarkable and lucky thing happened to me once when 1 was dead broke,” imparted the aspiring poet. “It was pear to the Christ mas holidays, and I needing money badly, sent a poem to a certain magazine. On the third night after, I dreamed that iny poem had been accepted for fifty dollars. Of course when I woke up I was much dissapointed. But the very next day, lo! there came the fifty dollar check for verses i ” Oh, you were in luck!” “Wait! Two days subsequent, back came my poem, accompanied by an explanatory epistle from the editor, In this he said that owing to a dream his treasurer had dream ed the third night previous (same night as mine) the treasurer, under the impression that his dream was a reality, forwarded my check on his on hook.” “Remarkable, indeed! Did you return the check?” “Oh, no! I sent back the poem, together with a note, stating that under no circumstances could 1 dream of returning the fifty.” One Explanation. “Why don’t the reformers ac complish more in this country?” “Well, they want so many dif ferent kinds of reform.” In Poker Circles. “What are the proper calling cards?” “Three or upwards are consider - ered very good.” , Earm land for R^nt. We have farm land for rent in Wilkes county and Middle Georgia. Either standing rent, third and fourth or on halves. Good land. See us-nt once. ssWoodruff Hardware Co- Conversation “Why were the animals taken in to the ark?” “To get them out of Roosvelt’s way I suppose. —New York Press. IS IT ANY WONDER? Read the list of unparalled guar antees given below, and you ‘will admit that'it isjuo wonder th;U the Athens Business College, of Athens, (la., is the leading school of Book keeping,[Business Training, Short hand and Typewriting in the state. In the first'place, it guarantees that every statement made in its catalog is true, and correct and will pay SIOO cash to anyone painting out an incorrect or misleading state ment. In this catalog it guaran tees to give a better course of Book keeping, and Shorthand in half the time required by othei schools teaching other systems. It guaran tees to pay railroad fare both ways if the student, upon arriving,* and attending the school for ten .days does not find everything up to* the standard represented in the catalog. It guarantees to, place its gradu ates in a higher class of positions than any other school in the state. It also guarantees that it places more of its graduates in good po sitions each year than any other commercial school in the state. It guarantees to give a free scholar ship to anyone who can find a graduate of the Bryne Simplified Shorthand or Practical Bookkeep ing who has laid these systems aside to|taster other systems and .made a success of them. It also offers a free scholarship, if, upon investiga tion, one does not find that it has had many writers and students of of other systems of bookkeeping and shorthand to abandon them and take up its systems, and go out and make a success with them. It guar antees to save the student in time and hoard from SIOO to S2OO over what it would cost to furnish a sim ilar course in schools teaching-other systems. Now, is it any wonder, since it guarantees so much, and es pecially since it guarantees to save its students from SIOO to S2OO in cash and secure them better posi tions than they could get had they attended another school, that it has in attendance students from all parts of the state? Write for free catalog and read in detail their unparalled guarantees. Athens Business College, Athens,Ga- WE ALL LIVE BY FAITH “I don’t believe in anything,” said a callow youth recently, “and there isn’t anybody--no, not a living soul- that I would trust out of mv sight- Faith? I haven’t any.” Perhaps the young man with the agnostic pose believed what he said but, conceding that, he didn’t know himself in his connection with the world and his fellow Iteings. He lias faith, and we all have faith, in large measure. The farmer who plows and harrows and plants the seed has faith in the Omnipotent Ruler of the universe, who brings the seed time and harvest. He be lieves that the spring will lie follow ed by the summer and the summer by the harvest lime. He buys his seed corn and hires his laborers through faith. The sick man accepts the prescrip tion ofjhis physician,* and the medi cine the druggist prepares” with faith that is a helpful and not a harmful potion. Our callow youth himself goes into a store, when the proprietor is, to him, a stranger, selects his goods, perhaps to a large amount, ppys for them, and has faith that they will be sent to his address and no hocus-pocus brought into play to cheat him out of his own. He writes and mails his own letters with faith in the postmaster, the postal clerk and the letter car rier, to do their part. He buys his ticket and gets aboard a train with faith in the train despatches the conductor, and in the engineer and fireman who often risk their own There is Mere to a Fertilizer than Analyses The mere mixing of materials to obtain analy sis requires no special knowledge. The value of a fertilizer lies in the source from which the plant food is obtained,, Each ingredient in Royster goods is selected with a view of supplying the plant from sprouting until harvest. The plant is not overfed at one time and starved at an other. Twenty-five years experience goes with every bag. REGISTERED Sold by reliable dealers throughout the South* F. S. Royster Guano Cos. NORFOLK, VA. OPLRA HOUSE.. ONE NIGHT ONLY, MONDAY, January 17 THE BEAUTIFUL DOWN EAST PLAY, “ALONG THE KENNEBEC,” STAGED WITH ALL SPECIAL SCENERY. lirin THE SPLENDID BAND Hk U K THE comedy quartette llLnil the good singing Arr the realistic snow storm \kk THE KJNNY DUEL SCENE OLL THE THRILLING EXPLOSION SCENE Clever Character Specialties. Bright Music and Comedy* SEATS ON SALE AT GEM GROCERY CO. Prices : 25c, 35c, 50c, 75c. lives to save the “callow youths” who have no faith. The whole complicated machinery of our com plex existence would stop if the motive power of faith should fail. — Gainesville Eagle. A LAY QUESTION. “Would you like the floors in mo saic?” asked the architect. The new householder looked dubious. “Would you like the floors in mo saic patterns?” “I don’t know much about that,” he finally said- “I ain’t got any prejudice against Moses as a man, and maybe he knew a lot aoout the law. As regards laying H >ors, though, I kinder think I'd rath< r have them unsectarian.” —Harp rs Weekly. Schedule Gainesville Midland Railway SOUTH BOUND No. 11 —Lv. 8:35 a. m. No. 13 —Lv. 2 350 p m. No. 15 —Lv. 10:30 am; Sun. only NORTH BOUND No. 12 —At. 11:25 am. No. 14 —Ai. 5:40 p m. No. 10—A.. 4:25 pm; Sun. only.