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T übby’s
Dummy
How an American Met an
Attack of Head Hunters.
By BRADFORD K. DANIELS.
Copyright. 1910. by American Praaa
Association.
Tubby Hicks paused In bis labored
progress along the path which led
from the Luzon power plant through
the fruit laden longbol bushes to Ills
neat little shack upon an Abra hillside,
and as he mopped the sweat from his
tropic bleached forehead he gave a low
whistle of surprise, for Impaled upon
a bamboo stake at the turn of the
path and on a level with his owu eyes
was the head of an Ilocano, its pock
marked face looking straight Into his
with a comical leer. “Humph—did It
at one lick,” be commented wheezing
ly as he noted the neat way in which
the neck had been severed.
First peering cautiously nliout him.
he hastily wrenched the bend from the
stake, tucked it under the flap of his
wide khaki coat, sauntered on toward
home aud, wrapping the head In sev
eral layers of the Muniln Times, he
carefully concealed It In the bottom of
his trunk.
That evening Tubby, to Sebastian's
unbounded surprise, permitted the mu
chacho to leave an hour earlier thau
nauat and. when the streaming tail of
fete cam toe had vanished round the
turn of the path, took possesoion of
the smoke itwrusted kitchen with its
half fifteen primitive clay stoves Im
bedded In a long trough of ashes.
When he had kindled a fire in one of
these (the pungent smoke made him
aneeze and splutter and anathematize
Filipino kitchens in general! he filled
with water the largest big bellied jar
among Sebastian's sooty pots and.
fetching out tbs mysterious head,
dropped it In.
By boiling and robbing ha pro
duced a shall whirl) ha stowed
once Mora to the bottom of his tmrk
and retired to rest under a strictly
first class mosquito bar upon a wide
and very eemtortabt* old Spanish bad
that had cant Mm 26 pesos/
Somewhat overheated front ooeJh uo
asi exerttonsu Tabby shifted hi*
bulky for** from time to time alt eve*
tho wide cane woven bottom of the
old family catna In a vafa search for
tho root eat spot. And ac ho puffed
and egutrased pondoronaly a bent ttys
• atraoded grarnpos ho reilewe| tho
oltnatMn. “Head binders. hey’/ An
other
toned ttra rtww a aide from ihaip <?!<*•-
t4r of vfl* aback*, so
forma! notice In rptneos*, Wall,. 4th
kind And conaUehatt-wf *em> *H otelaV
bat I guood 1 like tl*a Chfe cjimat*
hotter thaw MdtiUg, tm If" W Oft
hot’C-waottwA abfifl saafie tbf- had
croh- fl tfcp hero tMo tttea of year.
Leth sees Tbay’w duatomcCrowwloltL-’
And Tuttey fibow (o a loaf; ffshltfc*
gaap -a* curtate posafbflitim wefr elan*
allsef with stiiOttar oieersami
Aa etootaietda at tho Onus power
plant Tabby wee the etilv whit# ask a
that side of Vegan, twenty mllraawsw.
the forcer under him condiatlof wholly
of Hocano*. Of coarse ha ooold trie*
phone tw Cap's ht 'Aiken fbr detach
meat of constabulary to oomr ap s*nd
protect him. bat tbe thought of the
way the boys would gay bias when he
went back to Manila rendered sneb an
.alternative'lmpossible.
The following morning Tubby made
-glad the heart of the cook- recently
.saddened by the large amount of care
fully prepared wood that had disap
peared from the kitchen during the
night—by giving him and the much*-
cho a holiday, as he was going into the
hills to hunt deer, he declared. That
the fat senor ever hunted doer was
news to them, but they kept their per
plexities to themselves nnd hastened
to the cockpit in the village, which the
lazy preaidente permitted to be kept
open on week days in violation of the
new law of the “loco Americanos"
against the heavenly sport at any time
except on Sundays nnd feast days.
The servants gone, Tubby slipped
the heavy wooden bar across the door,
closed the sliding bamboo windows
and In the subdued twilight ef the
shack brought out the skull and set to
work. With a pillow under his knees
to protect them from the hard bam tee
slats of which the floor was constrtj|t-.
ed, he labored over the skull of mt
obscure and departed llecantt wl<b as
much thought and cars as he would
have bestowed upon the Installation
of anew dynamo. Chisels, mallets,
wires big and little, solder and a
soldering pot, white paper, • can of
kerosene oil. a gimlet, to say nothing ef
heaps of clothing, littered the floor till
noon, when, with •'< katlsfled chuckle,
the steaming electrician replaced the
skull la the trunk, stood a bulky
something In the dark Interior of the
"aparador,” or big movable closet,
and then opened the windows te the
blessed breeze that chanced to be
blowing dowh from the hilts.
be had ta&ea •%_.ekower fentU
from the cask that he had rigged up
over the porch he drew up a bottle
from the deep wen lu which he always
kept a supply “oil ice." ns be phrased
It In loving reminiscence, lunched on
crackers and mangoes and then start
ed for the plant. With him be took
his fleldglasses and carefully studied
the distant hills as he proceeded.
“Humph—they're filing through the
pass there from Bon toe now." be com
mented after a long look through the
glasses at s gash In the distant moun
tains. “Well. I hope they enjoy their
reception.” he concluded with a fat
chuckle, swinging the glasses over his
thick shoulder and waddling on.
When Tubby threw the stub of his
seventh Dos Hermanns cigar out of
the window that night and put aside
a back number of the Argosy it was
only 10 o'clock, nearly two hours eur
iier than It was his custom to retire
Although It was a hot night, lie closed
the windows carefully, switched off all
hut one of the electric lights that lie
had Installed on a wire from the pow
er house and then brought forth from
the capacious closet a bulky dummy
dressed in a suit of his owu pink pa
jamas and placed It in a sitting pos
ture in the middle of the bed. Open
ing the trunk, he brought out the
skull and after fifteen minutes tiuk
ering had It secure upon 11# shoul
ders of the effigy.
With a wry face, he then made down
a bed in the farther corner behind the
closet, where the floor chanced to be
modi of boards and not of openwork
slats through which h spear could eas
ily be thrust. Then he opened wide
the bamboo windows and. contrary to
his custom, the door, switched off the
remaining light and. after a glance
Into the moonless night through the
algeroba trees aglow with ftreHias. lay
down with a groan of protest upon his
hard bed. casting a longing look ut
the dim oailines of the more comfort
able one occupied by hi* alter ego.
he dryly phrased It.
Tubby Hleks was never know* to
bavo a case of “nerves" in all bis
happy life, and the nature of Insomnia
was quite unknown to him, except as
ha had observed It iu some of bis less
fortunate fellow mortals. Tonight,
however, the usually Imperturbable
electrician was as wide awakoaaa cat
For obvien* reason* h* dar* sot
a moke: he eves dar* not roll about in
search • soft spot because of the
horrible r*w>fi* greasing beards made
8* h* iky ope* hi* aching back and
listened t* the big liaard* that *cgr
ried ever the cnilioy sad “lok-u'd ! ' ib
raucous rsk'as at ft deriding hit *dk>
cr
A clammy tbluf fell with • smart
spat upon hi* fac*. safi tfr states!
sc roamed ttk* scheetgiri. KUi a* the
horrfklf snmefMag aerate hi ad away
oftt tip wtt# fpat *f kid STwancb
k* W *k tedfT'* t* lack
i bird dMU hai aimed ita'fwdfiVr a*
It *l*a*\lM* the* a pig,
c—i apatag'fbkql ejplar Qta, bltebv*
ter MMte rteda. a ad. etf **•*)** tba
•*bhdWkdms>%i)Mr teff RFaw-at. bl*
n *• imq** *afcna*te.
*cM ***'-* *****
of revAMf *£*>*■** ts *AC* t ra*
tUaa ippu tbs bombs* atewUtg vr*
fkt vrM-ototf Totßfr •!>*••#
WA -ahurb sad held. Ms brgfetk if as
Sfott -toi|etecmtes Tie. It- s*r4> wA*
ty sound af staaHbw hap* tee| apis
Hm bamboo slats of 1 tk# ophs platterw
eutMd* tho food And there, vaguSty
outlinsk against tho aky. ** ft dark'
fdrm rising initfethmly above the tvia.
dow cip. Listen! ThO laiat but mx
mistaltablo Sound of ■ spent in tbe
cracks of tha htrabo# fioor under his
bed came to him and seat s Cold shiv
er down his spine. Now a dark figure
was balancing oa the window ledge,
spear In hand, and some on* was
standing in the doorway. Now a half
dozen heads were visible at the win
dow to the right of the i>ed. a villain
ous forked shield showing between
two of them. A hand clutching n
|K)ised spear rose stealthily in the
doorway—and then Tubby pressed the
button.
At the magic touch a skull with eye
sockets, nose and mouth aflame ap
peared upon the shoulders of a portly
form In pink pajamas under tho mos
quito netting, the horrible thing leer
ing at its surroundings in a way that
gave even Tubby a thrill. For a mo
ment there was silence nothing short
of abysmal, ami Tubby noted a score
of black eyes bulging with terror from
tinder shaggy manes of hair. With
th* ghost of a chuckle Tubby pulled a
string which released a spring, and
the fearful thing under the netting
leaped up. the three dozen sixteen can
dle power lights inside of It that the
movement switched on making It glow
like a liery demon from the nether
world.
And then Tubby had the surprise of
his life. Instead of springing through
the windows in a general stampede,
the Igorrotea prostrated themselves be
fore the pink glowing god. sending up
a chorus ef deep guttural groans. y>>e
gaunt eld savage flopped down so
Close to Tnbby that his feet pressed
the luckless electrician’s stomach, but
the eld heathen was so taken up with
the newfangled god that be bad little
surplus thought to bestow upon bis
pedal extremities.
_ Then a brilliant idea seized Tubbv.
Rolling envitiously over, he switched
off the current, and the hectic god rap
idly faded into blackness. For one
long moment Tubby beard nothing but
the deep breathing of the dark forms
about lilm. while he held his own
breath: then a wandering zephyr stray
ed in through the nearest window,
fanning the bald spot on his cranium,
and he sneezed. Promptly a hand
came groping in his direction, and in
his eagerness to see It he again jabbed
at tb button and awitebed oo tbe cur
rent.
An ominous grunt from tbe leathery
old monster at the other end of the
hand brought every head hunter In the
room to his feet, his spear poised in a
way that made the genial joker In the
corner shiver. For a moment Tubby
looked death straight between the
eyes; then, with an agility of which he
had uever dreamed himself capable,
he sprang to the bed. slipped under the
mosquito netting and. clasping the
glowing god In an ardent embrace,
stood safe from all danger except that
of being roasted alive before daylight
brought the presidente and relief.
A Friend In Need.
A gentleman hurriedly entered a
drug store to find an nddress in the di
rectory, but found a lady studying the
book very intently. He waited as pa
tiently as he could for a time, but she
seemed no nearer the object of her
search, and as his time was limited
he finally ventured:
“If you are in no great hurry’, mad
am. would you be so kind as to allow
rne to glance in that book for just a
moment?"
“Ob. certainly," replied she sweetly
as she relinquished it. “1 was Just
looking It over to find a pretty name
for baby."—Harper's Magazine.
Human Natuva.
“Queer thing about men. Isa’t It?"
remarked tbe thoughtful thinker.
“Whet's queer about 'em?" asked the
innocent bystander.
“Why.” rejoined th* thoughtful
thtnker. “a man will sit oo a log half
a day waiting for a fish to bite, but
he won't wait three minute* for hi*
wife to get ready for church.”—Deu
vr New*.
Jennie Was Peeked.
the teacher bad been tailing the
eias* about th* rhinoceros family.
“Now, name earn* things." said she,
"that ar# very dangerous to get a ear
fee yud that have horns.” "■* - t .
“Automobile*!" rspiled (HO* JfeAat*
Joe** promptly. -Argonaut
•tee* Indeed. I
/ m Jr
/ fl| \ \
Vl\ ■ /
*Th* militaers have named e aew
winter her th* 'Cook hat.' it i* tiro
feet high/'
"H’tn! That's nothing like as high a*
tbe price.’*
■A i ■..1,
Cold Dash.
Gwendolen (blushing)—Gerald says
he's going to join the church 1 belong
to.
Esmeralda—You goose, that means
that he doesn't intend to l>e anything
more than a brother to you.—Chicago
Tribune.
One Eliminated.
First Eskimo Wife—The nortli pole
has been discovered.
Second Eskimo Wife —I'm glad of
that, for now when my husband comes
home late he can't give me that old
excuse about being out looking for It.
—New York Times.
Willing to Halp.
“Papa said l must tell you. George,
that the lights* in our hoiiae have to be
turned out at 10:30 o'elock."
“All right, Mabel. I’ll holy* things
along by turning out the parlor light at
9:3o."—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Studying Astronemy.
“Yeung man. the stag* door Is a
very poor place te puraue a college
education.”
“But. yon see. air, I'm specialising In
astronomy.”—Cornell Widow.
Our Queer Language.
**Bhe cut me cold yesterday.**
“And you?”
“I burned up with rage.’’—*e Welt
Free Press.
His Faee to the Pea.
"Hew did you coma out whea you
asked Hubei's father for bar haadf*
“Backed.”—Cleveland Btala Dealer.
. .pin
m 'U \\ A
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Dr Lester Alex Brown, pastor; Di
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Sunday School, 10 SO a a, W L Bleats-'
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Wednesday, 730 p a; Choir Practice,
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after every fourth Sunday at 8 00 p a;
Woman’* <Mia*ion*ry Society, Meadfcy
after every second Sunday at 1 00 p ax.
Morning *t*ject, ‘’Mutual Sympathy.”
Evening subject, “Ns*man”
AWiho&tt
Preaching at 11 30 t ■ and 7 4$ p a,
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Preaching at 11 30 a m and 7 SO p m.
Rev John H Wood, pastor; Sunday
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Preaching first and third Sundays,
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