Newspaper Page Text
"■ F - SKITH, Publisher.
VOLUME VIII.
GLEANINGS.
‘V.in Antonio i.s shipping sheep 10
France.
The pioneer cotton mill of Memphis
is now an assured fart.
Since June lit, £'40,000 has been paid
out for sponges in Key West.
Six papers published by colored men
in North Carolina favor prohibition.
A nugget of gold, weighing three and
one-half ounces, i.i is reported, has been
found in Putnam county, Tenn.
Covington, C*a., has two colored men
who can mould each 6,000 bricks in half
a day. . i
Ihe average daily attendance on the
public schools of Richmond, A r a is
f),r>: u. 5.
Andrew Johnson’s heirs are now in
litigation over the distribution of his
property, which is valued at #IOO,OOO.
A white woman in Newton county
was recently thrown into con
vulsions from eating pork salad, and
died in a few hours.
David Humphreys, of Carter’* denot.
Tennessee, has been married irwentv-six
years, and is the father ..f twculy-two
childred.
A cat bit a little pR] named Annie
Webster, near Wfi Ga., one day
last wee,, and Hie has since ditd with
all the symp 0 } hydrophobia.
* ° v ' n (Ga ) Star: “A coming
fig 1 1 1 o A this country is one between pro
hib,don and the snakes. If prohibition
wuis, we will have no remedy for snake
oites. || the snakes win, good heavens,
we will all be snake bit. It is fearful,
.Mart it ?”
The ladies of Winchester, Va., have
undertaken the j>.b of erecting marble
headstones at the graves of the Win
chester soldiers who were killed in the
Into war, or who have died since, and
who are buried in Stonewall and Mount
Hebron cemeteries.
The umbrella'China tree, it is said,
outside of Texat, is only found in East
ern Texas. The presence of the tree
was occasioned, no doubt, bv captive
slaves who scattered on the “slave trail”
the seeds of this beautiful tree which
they had brought over 4o plant with
secret rites of voudoo worship.
A Mexican at Las Vegas, New Mex
ico, tied his wife fiirmly to i\ board,
leaned her thus lie! phess against a fence
took a position fi.fty feet away, and
used her as a target for rifle practice.
He did not Hit*, her, his object being to
frighten her ty embedding the bullets
in the boar.i close, to her head and body.
She fainted under the frightful ordeal.
What She Saw in Church.
IV) staid at home and sho went to
sflutrcli; after dinner ho asked her:
“What was the text, May?”
“Oh, something, somewhere in Gener
ations; I’ve forgotten the chapter and
verse. Mrs. High sat Tight before me
with a Mother Huljioard bonnet on.
How could I hear anything when I could
not even see the minister? I wouldn’t
have worn such a looking thing to
church, if I’d, had to have gono bare
headed.”
“How Odd you like the new minister?”
“OK he’s splendid! and Kate Darlin
was tliere in a Spanish lace capo that
never cost a cent less than SSO; and
they can’t pay their butcher hills, and
ra v, ear cotton lace or go without any
first. ”
“Did he say anything about the new
.'mission fund?”
“No, and the Jones girls were all
Tigged out, in their yellow silks made
over; you would have died laugh
ing to have seen them. Such taste as
those girls have; and the miuister gave
out that the Dorcas Society will meet
at Sister Jones’ residence— that old poky
place.”
“It seems you didn't hear much of the
sermon. ”
“Well, I’m sure its better to go to
tfliurch, if you don't hear the sermon,
than to stay at home and read the pa
pers; and oh, Harry! the new miuistei
lias a lovely voice; it nearly put me tc
sleep. And* did I tell you that the
Rich's are home from .Europe, and Mrs.
Rich had a real camel's hair shawl
on, and it didn’t look like anv thing on
her f”
A long silence, daring which Harry
thought of several things, and his wife
was busy contemplating the sky or view,
when she suddenly exclaimed:
“Ther&! I knew I’d forget to tell you
something. Would you believe it, Har
ry, the fringe on Mrs. Jones’ para.Mt is
aij inch deeper than mine, and twice as
Oh, dear! what a world of
trouble this is.”— Detroit Post and Tri
bune.
“ Come, doctor, ifc’a 10 / o’clock, aud
I think we had better be going, £or it’s
time honest folks were at home,” said a
lawyer to a physician, one evening re
cently. “ Well, ves,” was the reply.
“ I must be off, but you needn’t go on
that account.”
iMotrii to Inuktiial Intel st, the Mfipion ©I Truth, the Establishment ©f Jastiee, and the Preservation of a People's €©Ternmfnt
▲ nru.K.
Rhe was the prettiest girl, I wees,
a hat mortal had ever seen •
I]r name was Anabei Christine.
Her bang# were curled with bandoline,
Uer cheeks were smoothed with vasaline,
ijor teeth were brushed with fine dentine.
Her face was washed in coaltne,
Her gloves were cleaned with gasoline,
one wore a dress of grenadine,
Ifoixxi over a shift of brilliantine.
Hpr petticoat was bombazine.
Jfer foot was Shod with kid liottine,
Uer wounds wore healed with cosmoline.
oiie sailed away from Muscatine
In a ship they called a brigantine,
•>*i flirted with a gay mavihe
1.11 they reached tlJltepubhc Argentine,
” h . e *? they were married by a dean.
Ado lived on yieomarganne. #
Bloomington Eft**
Olympus*
Hid ever a Hellene, shepherd, priest
or King, dare to climb up the slopes of
Olympus, away above the lofty pastures
of its dales and crests? Did even one
only venture, by placing his foot upon
the great peak, to find himself suddenly
in the presence of these terrible
gods? Ancient writers tell us that phil
osophers are not afraid of scaling Mount
Etna, although much higher than Olym
pus; but they never mention one single
mortal tv ho has had the temerity to
asoeau the mountain of the gods, not
e 'A£i in the days of science, in that ago
' v hen philosophers taught that Zeus and
the other immortals were mere concep
tions of the human mind.
Later on, other religious, disseminated
among the various people living in the
surrounding plains, took possession of
the sacred mountain and consecrated it
to new divinities. There tho Greek
Christians worshiped the Holy Trinity
instead of Zeus; they still look upon its
three principal peaks sis the three great
thrones of Heaven. One of its loftiest
points, which formerly, perhaps, bore si
temple of Apollo, is now surmounted by
a monastery of St. Elias; one of its dales,
wherein the Bacchantes wore wont to
sing “Evoc!” in honor of Dionysos or
Bacchus, is inhabited by the monks of
St. Denvs. Priests have succeeded to
priests, and the superstitious respect of
modern times to tho worship of the
ancient; but perhaps tlio highest sum
mit is yet untrodden by human steps;
tho soft light, resplendent above its
rocks and snow, has not beamed upon
any man since tho llallenic gods took
their departure.
. A few years ago it would have been
difficult for a European to attain the
summit of the mountain, for the Hellenic
klephtcs, unerring shots, occupied all
its gorges; they had intrenched them
selves in it, as within an enormous ciG,
del, and thence, recommencing g l 0 C( ' m .
lliet of the gods against the titans tliev
set out upon their against
the lurks of Ossa, Proud of
. 1011 they believed themselves
i*‘%as tile mountain upon which
timy Uved; they endowed Olympus h
With life. “I am,” said one oi their
songs, ‘‘l am Olympus, illustrious in all
ages, and renowned* amid Nations; forty
two peaks bristle upon my brow; seventy
two fountains flow down my ravines,
and an eagle is perched upon my highest
summit, bearing in its claws the head of
a valiant hero!” This eagle, no doubt,
was that of the ancient Zeus. Even
now-a-days he feeds on man, by man
destroyed.— History of a Mountain.
Trees and Health.
Everybody knows that trees take the
carbonic acid thrown out in the breath
of men and animals, separated into com
ponent parts—carbon and oxygen—give
back the latter •to be used over again,
and work up the former into wood and
fruits.
It is also coming to be generally un
derstood that forest trees do important
service in promoting raiufalls, and in
helping to retain the surface water for
springs, streams and general use.
It is also known that certain species
planted in malarial localities, help to
render the latter healthy by somehow
using up the deadly miasma.
It would now appear that trees grow
ing near drains carry off the sewerage
water.
A gentleman, whose cess-drain was
constructed just like his neighbors’ and
in the same kind of soil, had found it
unnecessary to clean it out, while the
others had to be cleaned out frequently.
An examination showed that three
large trees, whose roots had penetrated
into the vicinity of his second, or waste
cess-pool, were clearly channels through
w hich the waste all escaped.
Whether it was changed into plant
food, as is likely, or w as exhaled through
the leaves, in either case it was disposed
of with equal safety.
The Heroines of Nihilism.
They are mostly daughters of poor
army officers, or petty civil officers, or
even of shop-keepers, who feeling the
influence of modern times, are anxious to
rise above the level of their parents,
coarse, ignorant people in the main.
Either by their own talents or bv the aid
of influential patrons, the girls gain
scholarships, and enter some high school
where their brains are crammed with a
heterogeneous mass of knowledge. At
19 they leave, and in turn become teach
ers. Finding their parents uncompan
ionable, they abandon home for some
wretched lodgings, and eke out a miser
able existence by giving poorly paid les
sons. Food is scarce, the feminine pleas
ures of dress are impossible, the restrain
ing power of family affection is absent,
they grow hopeless and discontented,
when some day they form socialistic
acquaintances, rapidly adopt their ideas,
and, having found an object for their
life, with feminine rashness devote them
selves to the cause, even to the very
death. — Paris Figaro .
Campanini is worth $150,000. He
got it all for a song — Boston Transcript.
And is still pursuing the even tenor of
his way.
INDIAN SPRINGS, GEORGIA.
Grecian Beauty.
Much has been said in praise of
Grecian beauty, and the men are hand
som in every sense of the word. We
might Well imagine them to have been
the models of Phidias and Praxiteles.
Their large eyes, black as jet, sparkle
with glances of lire, while the long,
silky, eyelashes soften the expression
and give a, dreamy appearance of mel
ancholy. Their teeth are small, white
and well set; a fine regular profile, a
pale-olive complexion and a tall, elegant
figure realize an accomplished type o(
distinction. As to the women,* they
seem to have left physical perfection to
the men; some possess fine eyes and
hair, but as a rule they have bad*figures,
and some defect in the face generally
spoils the good features. It is among
them, however, that the old Oriental
customs are most strictly preserved;
while the men are gradually undergo
ing the process of civilization they, in a
moral point of view remain stationary,
and are just as they were fifty years
ago. It may, indeed, be said that, with
the exception of Athens, the women
possess no individual existence, and
count as nothing in society. The men
have reserved every privilege for them
selves, leaving to their helpmates the
care of the house and family. In tho
towns, where servants are kept, they are
of the poorest class of peasants, who
know nothing, and receive miserable
wages. The families are generally large
—seven or eight little children demand
a mother’s constant attention. The
morning begins by directing the work of
each servant, repeating the same tiling
a hundred times, scolding, screaming,
even beating them, to be understood. In
the evening, when the children are sleep
ing, if there remain some little time, the
poor, worn-out mother sits down to her
spinning-wheel to spin silk, to sew or
knit, if it bo summer-time, to look after
her silk-worms and cocoons, happy if
she has not to do the work of her in
competent servants over again.
Cultivation of Self-Respect.
A child that is uniformly treated with
courtesy, with consideration, with jus
tice, will unconsciously deem himself
worthy of such treatment, and will be*
come worthy of it, unless ho is by nature
wholly base; and ho will unconsciously
treat others as lie is treated. It is feari
tul thing to give a child tfi c gx f 0 accuse
him ot steamig, accustom him to un
expeemd Unmerited blows and culls.
T ° „iny merit punishment, but the wise
parent never will admit into the house
hold vocabulary the terrible words “liar”
and “thief,” and will never permit in
himself or others the hasty blow, the
bitter taunt, the stinging epithet. The
refined and educated parent can never
tolerate sncll language as we have indi
cated. Bitter words are more cruel than
blows and inflict more lasting injuries.
Care in the choice of associates will do
much to foster self-respect in a child.
Some mothers think their sons and
daughters can go where they choose and
play with whom they please, and Come
out all well in the end. There never was
a greater mistake. As well might one
think it no difference what air we
breathe. Children are quicker than we
to catch the tone of associates, to pick
up slalig words, bad grammar, vulgar
ideas—these often seem to be taken in
through the very pores, as typhoid poison
is, when least expected. Care in the
choice of reading will do much to foster
due self-respect in a child. The boy
who grows up with a familiar knowledge
of Washington, of Franklin, of Lincoln,
and other great men who have been the
glory of the nations in which they have
been conspicuous, will be far more likely
to find his mind filled with noble images,
with high ideals, with lofty ambitions,
than one who reads sensational newspa
pers, dime novels, and the comic alma
nac. Any soil that yields abundantly
must contain in itself elements of fer
tility, and barren soil may have elements
artificially supplied to them.
Women in Hoarding-lionets.
Differences in families anited by mar*
riage are mostly ou the side of the wo
men. Woman fails in tact to preserve
the amenities of the hearth. The soft
answer or the repression which evades
an issue is more on the part of the man
than the wife. Young women manage
tifeir lovers, but lose their skill to man
age their husbands. Women make the
cliques in congregations, church socie
ties, family hotels, boarding-houses, and
wherever lovely woman'predominates.
Lack of tact, makes the traditional
motlier-iu-law. Fathers-in-law' have too
much tact to be fussy and irritating in
matters that should be left alone. Men
live harmoniously in clubs; women can
not live in clubs without getting into
hostile divisions
The Pekin Times gives the following:
“A young lady of this city, who has a
young gentleman friend in Peoria, called
him over the telephone, which is located
iu the office of the young fellow’s father.
The required ‘hello!’ came back over the
wire, and the dear creature proceeded
to lay herself out in ‘taffy,’ which she
sent to the listening ear iu vast quanti
ties. While she was stopping to take
breath, a gruff voice in the telephone
startled her Avitli the following sentence:
‘I guess you’ve made a mistake, my
dear girl; I’m Georgia's father.’ When
she recovered she found herself at home
among friends.”
The tenor Campanini is pronounced
“perfectly splendid and just too awfully
too too for anything,” by the bang
wearing ladies of New York.— New Or
leans Picayune. Awfully too too
what? Campanini is a woealisfc not a
too tootisfc. Hnt as Toots would say,
“ It's of uo consequence.”— N. V. Com
mercial.
Hott Long' Man May Lire.
It was Professor Hufeland’s opinio*
that the limit of possible human life
might be set down at 200 years; and this
on the general principle *that the life of
a creature is eight times the years of its
period of growth. That which is quickly
formed quickly perishes, and the earlier
complete development is reached the
sooner bodily decay ensues. More
women reach old age than men, but
more men attain remarkable longevity
than women. Some animals grow to be
very old. Horned animals live shorter
lives than those without horns* fierce
longer than timid, and amphibious longer
than those which inhabit the air. The
voracious pike exists, it is said, to an age
of 150 years; the turtle is good for 100
yt ars or more, and among birds the
golden eagle is known to have lived
nearly 200 years, while the sly and som
ber crow reaches the Venerable age of a
century. Passing up in the scale of life
to man, and skipping the patriarchs, we
find many recorded instances of longevity
among the classic Greeks and llomans.
Pliny notes that in the reign of the Em
peror Vespasian, in the year 7(5, there
were 121 men living in the limited area
between the Appeimines Hud the Ho of
TOO years and upward, three of whom
were 140 and 4 over 105. Cicero’s wife
lived to the age of 103, and the Roman
actress, Lueeja, played in public as late
as her 112th year. Coming down to
more recent times, the most notable
authentic instance of great age is that of
Henry Jenkins, of Yorkshire, England,
who died in 1(570, 169 years old. He
was a fisherman, and at the age of 100
easily swam across rapid rivers. An
other historic case la that of Thomas
PatT, of Shropshire, a day laborer, who
lived to the age of 152 years. When
more than 120 he married his seCond
wife, amt Hll i 3O he Cotild Swing the
scythe and wield the flail with the best
of his fellow-laborers. In his 152d year
Parr went up to London to exhibit liim
self to the king* It proved an unlucky
Vi&it, for, violating the abstemious habit
of a century and a half, the old man
feasted so freely on the royai victitals
that he soon died* merely of a plethora.
Du examination his . internal organs
proved to be in excellent condition, and
(here was no reason why he should not
have lived much longer save for this un
fortunate taste of royal hospitality.
Professor Hufeland’s roll of centenarians
includes many more remarkable cases.
Drugged Wines*
As France has kicked lip a row about
American hog meat, Avhicli exteuded
even to ringing bells throiigh the Villages
warning the Citizens, it is entirely fair to
warn the American people against the
drugged wines of France. The Parisian ,
a paper printed in English in Paris,
gives a branch of the history of this
manufacture of wines sold fraudulently
under the names of the choicest brands
of French wines: The wine crop of 1879
was about 25,000,000 or 30,000,000 hec
toliters below the ilvefage of the last tell
years. The annual consumption in
France is from 40,000,000 to 45,000,000
hectoliters. Every body expected a rise
iu the price of wine, and some conscien
tious dealers laid in a stock from abroad.
The rise in price, however, never came,
and the markets remained well supplied.
The reason Avas that the natural deficit
Avas compensated for by artificial means.
Wine Avas manufactured out of dry
grapes. All the raisins to be found in
Eastern ports were bought up, aud wine
manufactories sprang up all over the
country. Around Paris alone there are
Seven steam-pow’er wine manufactories.
The cost of a cask of raisin Avine is about
50 francs, and it was sold at 100 francs,
thus giving a profit of 100 percent. But
the competition has now become such
that the price of raisins has risen froth
twelve francs to seventy-five francs the
100 kilograms. The consequence is that
that raisins haA’e been abandoned, and
wine is now manufactured out of glu
cose, a sugary matter obtained from the
potato, out of the residue of molasses,
out of rotten apples, dried prune*, dates
figs and all kinds of refuse fruit, and
even out of beet-root. These abomina
ble liquids are colored artificially and
mixed more or less with Spanish wines
or white wine. The adulteration and
manufacture of wine has attained such
vast proportions that the principal deal
ers who had taken measures to supply
the market loyally with harvest wine
from foreign countries have taken Steps
to put a stop to this gigantic fraud. The
imposture has reached such a pitch that
not one-third of the Avine now drank in
Paris is real grape. The revelations of
the manufacture of French brandy are
no less convincing of the wholesale char
acter of the frauds. French brandy of
this day is described as an inferior spirit
distilled from Edgar, potatoes, Indian
corn and whisky distilled from barley,
and this is the stuff imposed upon the
people of this country. It would be a
national blessing if there was an author
itative analysis made of the various so
called French wanes and brandies fraud
ulently pushed off upon the American
people by the wine manufacturers of
France. * The drugged and poisonous
stuff is, in adition to being a commercial
fraud, also most deleterous to health
an life, and its importation should be
discontinued. No pure Avines or bran
dies are now exported from France.
A gentleman and three ladles who
must have had a great deal of spare
time have found by count that a blonde
has about 140,000 hairs on her scalp; a
brunette, 109,000; and a red-haired
belle only 88,000. This last provision
of nature is undoubtedly to prevent in
voluntary incendiarism.
Indians never drink to drown sorrow.
When they can get anything to drink
thev have no sorrow to drown.—Brook
lyn Eagle.
A Fa ml nn go at La Yenta.
It so happened that we reached La
Yenta on a festive occasion. A fandango
was in full blast but a short distance
from our quarters, and a large number
of strange Indians from the surrounding
country were in the village* Our advent
had caused a temporary suspension of
the festivities, but the people soon be
gan to drift that way again, and by the
time we had finished our supper the
music of harp and bandolon could be
heard, and the dance was once more in
progress. Alejandro told us that the
village would probably grow lively to
ward midnight as the danco continued,
for the Indians were drinking a good
deal of mescal, and many of them Were
still coming in from the country. He
informed me that the Alcalde of the
town had already hidden himself, as is
the custom on such occasions, and that
We must be on our guard, for the Indians
were bad men when druuk, and inclined
to dislike strangers. We were all armed
to the teeth, however, and felt no ap
prehensions. After supper, Marion and
I sallied out into the dark street, and,
following the sound of the music, soon
found ourselves in the midst of the
Crowd of wild* half-naked revelers. The
dancing was carried On tinder the shed
which was lit up by pine-knots, throwing
out a wierd glare over the dusky crowd.
A number of men and women would step
into the open space and slmtlle slowly
around, each one apparently on his own
responsibility* and with no regard to
figure. In the meantime those who
were not dancing would squat in a cir
cle around the open space, and sing
ihdnotonotisly in time with the music of
the instruments. The dancers would
finally retire, and others take their places,
the process being repeated with little or
no Variations. But it was in the outer
rim of the circle that the real fun seemed
to be going on. Little groups were
gathered here and there, drinking, sing
ing Rnd carousing, and, as we left the
crowd and picked our way back to our
lodgings, we noticed one of our men,
Ponciano by name, ogling a dusky
Inaideu, and treating her to a drink of
orchata. —£>. S. Richardson in Cali
fornian.
Life’s Brightest Hour.
Not long since, I met a gentleman who
is assessed for one million. Silver was
in liis hair, care upon his brow, and he
slightly stooped beneath his burden of
Wealth. We were speaking of the
period of his life he had reached the most
perfect enjoyment, or lather, when lie
had found happiness to be nearest un
alloyed.
“I’ll tell joii,” Said the millionaire,
“when was the happiest htrut of my life.
At the age of one and twenty I had
saved SBOO. I was earning SSOO a year,
and my father did not take it from me,
only requiring that I should pay my
board. At the age of twenty-two I
secured a pretty cottage just outside of
the city. I was able to pay two-thirds
of the value down, and also furnish it
respectable. 1 was married on Sunday
—a Sunday in June—at my father’s
house. My wife had come to me poor
in purse, but rich in the wealth of wo
manhood. The Sabbath and the Sab
bath night we passed beneath my fath
er’s roof, and on Monday morning I
went to my work, leaving mother and
sister to help in preparing my home.
“On Monday evening, when the labors
of the day were done, I went not to the
paternal shelter, but to my own house—
my own home. The holy atmosphere of
that hour seems to surround me even
now in the memory. I opened the door
of my cottage and entered. I laid toy
hat on the little stand in the fhall, and
passed on to the kitchen—our kitchen
and dining-room were all one then. I
pufehed opetl the kitchen door and was
in heaven! The table Wfis set against
the wall—the evening meal was ready
prepared by the hands of her who had
come to be my helpmeet in deed as well
as in name —and by the tea-table, with a
throbbing and expectant look upon her
lovely and loving face, stood my wife.
I could only Clasps the waiting angel hr
my bosom," thus showing to her the
ecstatic burden of my heart,
“The years have passed—long, long
y ears —and worldly wealth has flown
upon me, and lam honored and envied
—but as true as heaven—l would give
all —every dollar, for the joy of that
June evening, in the long, long ago. ’ —
Exchange.
He Denied It.
The locomotive of a Harlem milk train
struck a man who was lying crosswise
on the track. The train was stopped and
backed up, and instead of the mangled
remains the engineer found a man stand
ing on the track and looking around with
a gaze of curiosity. “ Where is that
man?” said the engiueer. “What man?”
said the tramp. “The man I struck,”
retorted the engineer. “I don’t know.
Hid you hit a man?” said the fellow.
“ Yes,” said the engineer. “ I knocked
a man off right here and he went up
against that freight car.” “Didn’t see
him. When did it happen?' “Just
now. Aren’t you the man?” “ Not as I
remember.” “Didn’t I knock you off
the track?” the engineer persisted. “ I
don’t think you did, but you can exam
ine me and see.” The fellow’s head and
shoulder were severely bruised and
bleeding. When asked how he received
the injuries he said : “Well. I don t
exactly know, but I thought I fell off the
freight car. Guess lam not hurt much
anvhow.” Ashe walked away he sang
out “Much obliged to you for telling
me how it happened.
* It is wise to keep in mind the fact that
souls may le won to the cross by a life
on a sick bed just as well as by a life in
a cathedral desk. Pure submission is as
good as going on a foreign mission.
SUBSCRIPTION**SI.SO.
NUMBER 47.
HUMORS OF THE DAY,
Cross roads are most apt to be bad.
Arkansas women love to whistle.
And what is more lovely than tulips well
blown ?
Triples light as hair sometimes turn
the whole course of a man’s appetite,
says the New Orleans Picayune.
An Illinois girl's toast: “The young
men of America — their arms our sup
porters, our arms their reward; fall in,
men, fall in.”
Jo says that the best lip salve in crea
tion is a kiss. The remedy should bo
used with groat care, as it may bring on
an affection of the heart.
A Baltimore man remained in a
trance for three days recently, aud they
finally had to yell “dog fight” under his
window to rouse him to life.
Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe thinks
it very inartistic to knit men’s foot gear
straight. Doesn't it depend, Harriet,
on whose socks it is that is gored.
A Nebraska monument to a horse
thief is simply a stake at the head of the
grave and a sign reading: “It would have
been cheaper for him to go afoot.”
A young man lias generally got the
winning cards in his hand when, on
popping the question, he sees a “flush”
in his sweetheart’s face. — Somerville
Journal.
Bridget (who has discovered the car
pet sweeper): “Luk at the music box,
now, wid the long handle! I wander
how they plays on the instlirumint!”—
Boston Transcript.
An exchange says: “If a minister cau
receive the title of ‘Dr.’ why cannot a
physician have the title of ‘Rev?’ ”
Because people may think it meant
Revelations, and doctors know a good
deal. '
Said little Edith to her doll: “There,
don’t answer me back. You mustn’t bo
saucy, no matter how hateful I am. lam
your mother!” Strange what eurious
ideas children get into their heads some
times.
“What pretty children, and how much
they look alike,” says 0, during a first
visit at a friend’s house. “They are
twins,” his friend explains. “What!
both of ’em? ” exclained C, greatly in
terested.
There is a knock at the front door,
and the colored person says to the lady
of the house: “Is you de white ooman
what told a colored gemman yon was
lookin’ for a colored lady to wash your
clothes by the murnf ?”
“Yes,” said the tramp, “they talk
about the charitable institutions of Bos
ton. Now, a man can go down to
the Hawkius Street Homo and get a
supper and lodging, and lie’s got to saw
a foot of wood to pay for it. By snakes,
sir, I don’t call that charity.” —Boston
Post.
A new author, who intends to make a
living by good advice, says: “Never leave
what you undertake until you can reach
your arms around it and clinch your hands
on the other side.” Perseverance, and
all that sort of thing, in the right direc
tion, is well enough, and even commend
able; but if the new author’s advice is
carried out, one is likely to get his ears
boxed.— Ncu) Orleans Picayune.
A Chicago young man broke into the
room of the girl he loved, to carry her
away, as she refused to marry him.
She was absent, but left the bull dog
asleep on her bed. The room was dark.
The dog didn’t bark, but worked. In
about seven miuutes the remains of the
young man came out and said that he
wouldn’t marry that girl for $70,000.
The Pope’s Peculiaritfe*.
His Holiness Pope Leo XIII. appears
to be a decidedly enigmatical personage,
if we may trust the account given of him
by the Roman correspondent of the
Cologne Gazette. The most striking fact
about him so far appears to be the slight
extent to which hi3 character is known
either by the faithful at large or by the
inmates of the Vatican. Every one knew
how Pius IX. lived; his hours were
alloted beforehand, and the same duties
always performed at the same moment.
There is a total want of this regularity in
his successor. He keeps.late hours, and
has sometimes been found by his ser
vants at his desk in the early morning
half dazed after writing through the
night. He has all his meals served to
him in the greatest privacy, is much
mote sparing of audiences than was Pius,
and even his State Secretary and the
Cardinals can only see him at irregular
intervals. The great innovation he has
made has been his partial supersession
of the above mentioned official, who un
der Pius IX. practically administered
the affairs of the the Papacy. He has
set on foot a chancellery of his own, con
sisting of three Private Secretaries, and
conducts his affairs with their aid quite
independently of the State Secretary,
and often over his head. It not unfre
quently happens that orders go down to
the Bishoprics from the State Secretary,
and are canceled in a day or two by dif
ferent orders from the Pope, or that the
Secretary brings papers to His Holiness
and tells him that he has settled a par
ticular matter in such a way, merely m
order to be told that the Pope himself
had already settled it in quite a different
wav. One*thing is clear, that Leo XIII.
means to be master in his own house;
but the exact aim and tendency of his
policy is by no means equally evident.
But Leo comes from the country of the
Cioecari, and it is believed in Italy that
a man from that district is commonly
rather deep—a notion which appears
also to be strongly entertained by the
correspondent. —Pall Atoll Gazette.
Disengaged lovers may be described
as express companies.