The Middle Georgia argus. (Indian Springs, Ga.) 18??-1893, May 18, 1882, Image 1

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V/ r* S?*liTHi Publisher, volume ix. THE (HIM NET'S SON a . BT BBET HAUTE. Orer the chimney the night wind sang, And chanted a melody no one knew; And the woman stopped as the babe she tossed, And thought of the one she had long since lost, And said, as her tear-drops back she forced, “ I hate the wind In the chimney.” (her the chimney the night wind sang, And chanted a melody no one knew* And the ehiiareu nuia, iney closer drew, ** ’Tis some witch that is cleaving the night all through— Tin a fairy trumpet that Just now blew, And we fear the wind the chimney.** Over the emmney the night wind sang, And chanted a melody no one knew; And the man, as he sat on his hearth below, 9*id to himself “ It will surely snow. And iuelis dear and wages low, And I'll slop the leak in the chimney.” Over the chimney the nignt wind sang, And chanted a melody no one knew; tut tho poet listened and smiled, for he Wan man and woman and child, all three, And bo mid “ It is Gud’s ov.n harmony. This wind that sings in the chimney.” PICKLED LIMES . A Hoarding-School Frolic. I.—Plotring Mischief. “Who lilies pickled limes?” asked one. ”0,1 do!” “And I!” “And I!” shouted about a dozen of the other girls. ” All right 1 We’ll each contribute a few pennies, and have a regular feast of picked limes and stick-candy.” “That’s go!” cried No. 2. “Won’t wo enjoy them, though! My mouth waters to think of it.” 'These young girls were all pupils in a very aristocratic boarding school not many miles away, whore everything was conducted on system, and the young ladies were expected to turn out perfect models of intellectual womanhood. Some did, but, alas ! for human hopes, very many graduated with but one fixed Idea, namely : that boarding-school was ft place in which to have fun, and to tor ment tho teachers to the utmost of their ability. Miss Woodward was a fine principal and a very discerning woman, but the girls would get the best of her occasion ally, in spite of her keen eyes and ears; and just now, after a whole month of goodness, they were positively pining for mischief, and had ransacked their brains for something wicked enough to ■bock tho whole community. The morning before, while their worthy principal was taking her beauty sleep, someone had climbed up to the veranda, and just before her window bad placed a most ridiculous caricature of her august self, adorned with her precious brown ringlets, and a set of teeth that were supposed to have been a profound secret. How they got out of her top drawer on to that figure will al ways remain a mystery to Miss Wood ward. But there they were; so the poor lady was obliged to pull the object in, and stiile her indignation as best she could, because ’twould never do to have the story spread abroad. 'lhe young Professor of Languages hftd been tormented to such a degree that, had it not been for an attachment to the very ringleader of all the mis chief, he would certainly have thrown n P his situation for more peaceful haunts; but, being hopelessly in love, he bore it all, to the great disgust of the fids, who daily expected some explosion from him. Nothing was said, and, as Miss Woodward had kept quiet about the figure, they were quite melancholy, fcfcd felt that nothing but great dis obedience, in some form, would com pensate for their disappointment. One of the rules of the school strictly enjoined the putting out of all the lights b >- 9:30 o’clock, and the putting of one’* ■elf quietly to bed ; but here were thea# girls this afternoon planning for pickled limes and a good time in the evening, ■dor all the good people of the house •hould be in their beds. It was decided that, after tea, Nettie , tier, the very essence of fun aud the in all the mischief, should feign u - and start for her room, but should ®teal oqt the back gate and down into * tru for the goodies. So while the risers were in the dining hall, Nettie, nn S been excused on “account of a * '^ ere Bic k headache,” made her escape 4 did all that was desired of her—and She bought all kinds of dainties town afforded, then stole in and with her lore* bundle, Unseen, Atl ° o’clock, when they were sup- k® sweetly sleeping, fourteen of ecorous joung women in the I lishment were perched on Nettie’s > kicking pickled limes and discuss ™ fcure mischief. If " e could only do something to Clate EQ ** Skm 1 *"* I should bo ’ said Grace Darnley, who dis hhhhhhhhhhhhhhUltltlfe tfawgii liked tho professor for something the same reason as the fox detested tho grapes. lliey all sat busily thinking for about a minute, nothing being heard but the smack of lips over limes and candy. Then, “ Oh, girls, I have an idea !” from Grace. Al l mouths suspended motion. “You know Ma’am Woodward thinks the professor is perfection itself, and, although she is about twenty years older than he. thinks that those ringlets and her bewitching manner have surely cap tivated him. Well, we’ll send her a touching love-letter, and sign his name ; won’t that be fun, though ?” The other girls were astonished at such a vigorous movement, because, notwithstanding all their mischief, they thoroughly respected the young man, and did not wish to disgrace themselves in his eyes. Nettie, although knowing nothing of his feelings for her, was quite tenderly disposed toward him, and did not care to see him intrapped, and perhaps led into marriage. They rll demurred some time, but were fimdly overruled by Grace. “He won’t mind it a bit,” said she ; “and think how mad ’twill make the * old ’un,’ when she discovers that we are aware of her passion for him ! ” That whs sufficient; they all detested aer—so agreed. A week from that night was to occur a monthly social circle given in the school, when the young ladies of the town outside were invited, and also a few irreproachable young men, who afforded great amusement for the girls by their meek aud lowly appearance. It whs de cided that in the letter a place and time of meeting should be appointed. Time— nine and one-half o’clock, social night; place—Miss Woodward’s private parlor. The pickled limes and candy having by this time all disappeared, the party broko up with a parting injunction from Grace to think up an awful letter for the old lady. IT. —Executing Mischief. The next few days were busy ones. Every spare moment was occupied by tho girls in writing and comparing love letters; but finally one was composed which it was decided could not bo im proved upon. It spoke of the over whelming passion the author had for Miss W., and his utter inability to keep it longer to himself. “ Having fancied, from several slight advances, that she was not entirely indifferent to him, he had ventured to address these lines to her. He knew there was some differ ence in their ages, but if she would overlook that, he would make her a faithful, devoted husband. If she could return his love, would she meet him in her private parlor the next evening, while tho others were making merry above stairs ? And couid he ask her to make no sign until that time, as, in case of a refusal, he would like to think of her as his own, for a while, at least. ” Grace had been spending hours trying to imitate his handwriting, in which she succeeded to some degree ; but, being a love-letter, the lady would scarcely think of the writing simply of the supposed writer. One afternoon, two days before social night, while the principal was out tak ing her “constitutional,” the letter was carried to her room and placed where she would surely see it; then the girls waited with some fear and trembling for the result. At the tea-table, that night, Miss Woodward was late, and came in with a peculiar expression of triumph on her face that amused the girls, even in their anxiety. That she had read the letter was evi dent, for occasionally she would glance down to the other table so happy, where Prof. Stems sat unconsciously eating, that, had the poor fellow been really an anxious lover, it would have lightened his heart considerably. But he, being ignorant of the plot' against bis peace of mind, was serenely talking with one of the other teachers-; go Miss Woodward restrained her raptures until the ap pointed meeting should take place. That night the same fourteen conspir ators gathered again in Nettie’s room to talk over matters. “ Oh. dear,” said pretty little Alice Grant, “ I wish we'd never had anything to do with that old letter 1 I know something horrid will turn up.” “That’s sol” said Nettie; “and I would not have Prof. Sterns know that I was in the scrape for the world!” They all echoed the sentiment except Grace, and even she did not seem so de sirous of mischief as formerly; but ’twas done, and they must await the conse quences* as best they ooold. ftnotn] to Industrial Inter st. the Diffii ion ol Truth, the Establishment #f Justice, and the Preservation of a People’s Government INDIAN SPRINGS, GEORGIA. lll— The Consequences. , The next evening, while the young professor wa3 arranging his toilet for the affair, a note was handed him by one of the servants requesting his pres ence in the principal’s parlor at half-past nine. Supposing it to be some business connected with school duties, he thought little about the matter. Now this was unknown to any but Grace. She had decided to make the little plot more complicated. “ ’Twill serve him right if he does get into a scrape,” thought she. “ Perhaps it will teach him to treat some of the younger girls with a little more polite ness.” About 8 o’clock all came to the long drawing rooms, looking as pretty as new-blown roses. The rooms were filled with young people, and of course they straightway proceeded to enjoy themselves. Miss Wood ward was arrayed in “spot less white,” and looked the very ancient maiden she was, notwithstanding her at tempts to appear extremely youthful. Prof. Sterns was enjoying himself heartily, and never so much as looked her way. “But,” thought she, “’tis because he is fearful lest the girls should joke him. But they’ll hear it to-mor row*, for I shall tell them myself. After so many years of waiting, I wish to be the first to spread the news of my en gagement.” As the clock sounded the half hour after 9, Miss Woodward skipped youth, fully out of the room down into her owe parlor, and a few moments later Prof. Sterns also left the room, followed by many anxious eyes until out of sight. As he entered her room, the principal gave a little shriek of what was meant to be joy, and rushed into his arms. “Miss Woodward?” exclaimed the astonished man, trying to shake her off. “ Pray explain yourself ! What has alarmed you ? ” “O! Edward, this moment is too much for me ! Can I believe my own eyes ? ” still clinging to him like grim death. The professor couia scarcely believe his senses, but, giving her a decided shove, sat her down on the sofa. “ Now, madam, please explain your self ! You wished to see me on business, ana here I am l What is wilted me?” “Why, Edward,” very tenderly, “ there is no need for such secrecy ; no one is within hearing but ourselves, and you know, love, you wished an answer to your note. It is here ; I have you from the moment I saw you, and. am willing to be your wife. The sooner, the better ;” and onoo Aiore she made a rush for his coat-collar. To say that the young fellow was as tonished is but a feeble expression—he was simply dumbfounded. And the note ! What could it all mean ? But, having forcibly seated the too-loving woman again, he said : “ Let me see the j” With a look of great consternation on her face, she produced it, and watched him closely as he real. “Mis3 Woodward!” after reading slowly from beginning to end, “ believs me, I never saw this before.” “What! You didn’t write it ?’ r shrieked the almost-frantio woman; “then who did? Who has dared to make such a fool of me? Who has dared do it, I say ?” Now if the professor guessed, he said nothing, but tried to calm the poor woman, for he pitied her grief and rage. But 'twas in vain 1 In her raving, she dropped off her beautiful curls, and that was the “straw which broke the camel’s backshe fell to the floor in a 6wood. The young man, thinking she would be'better without him, took his leave, and sent one of the servants to her assistance ; then went to his own apartments to think it over. That Nettie Cutler was at the bottom of the mischief, he was certain, and he suffered some sharp pangs to think she cared so little for his feelings and those of her teacher as to do such a thing. After much meditation on the subject, the poor fellow took himself to bed with ft heavy heart. Miss Woodward was, with some diffi culty, tucked away for the night, and her feelings were pitiable indeed. She meant to be kind to the girls, and to think they should do such an act (for by this time she had thought of some of her pupils as the authors) troubled her greatly. Then, how should she ever meet that fellow again? But, while i thinking over these things, she gradual* ly fell asleep and forgot all her woes. The mischief-makers themselves were almost as uneasy as their victims. Not much was said among them, and they retired 6arly ; but none of them rested well, and Nettie cried herself to sleep. The next morning, as Nettie was go ing down the corridor, who should slia meet but the professor himself going up. She attempted to pass with a sim ple “ Good-morning,” but he stopped. “Miss Cutler, I could scarcely be lieve that you would be guilty of such a deed as you performed at Miss Wood ward’s and my expense. I have lost respect for you !” “ Oh ! Professor ! we—we really didn’t mean to do any harm ! ” sobbed Nettie; “ and we thought you’d know ’twas all in fun ! ” ‘ ‘ Yes ! It must be remarkably funny to hurt the feelings of your principal as you have done,” he said, sternly, and passed on. Nettie stood gazing after him with tearful eyes, “If we hadn’t had those horrid old pickled limes to eat, we should never have thought of it. Oh !he will never look at me again ! I wish I was dead and buried ! ” But, bless you! he d’d; he couldn’t help it. The girls went to their princi pal, confessed their crime, and were punished according to the deed; but they were not expelled, to their great relief ; and Miss Woodward recovered from her grief and disappointment in time. The professor, after making friends with Miss Nettie, and discovering that she really was not the leader for this time, found another professorship not far away, and resigned his to a much older man, who at last accounts was in tending to make the principal and him self one. After Nettie became Mrs. Stems, she would often say, laughingly, that pickled limes were hot good food for young women—they encouraged mischief. HE WON THE BET. A wag, who was anxious to test how much confidence a certain friend had in him, toqjc a standard dollar, and, coat ing it with quicksilver, passed it at the other’s store. In less than half an hour the dollar, whose peculiar appearance had aroused distrust, was brought back with : “ Here, Billy, you have given me a bogus dollar, and I came to get it re deemed. ” “It isn’t a bogus dollar at all; it’s as good as any money ever coined in Amer ica,” replied the wag. “ Can’t you be lieve me ? No man has a right to call money counterfeit until he subjects it to a fire assay. ” The other said that under ordinary circumstances he would believe his friend, but when it came to trying to palm off lead dollars on him for silver ones it was another matter, and offered to bet $lO that the dollar was bogus. The bet was aceepted and the dollar turned over to an assayer who pro nounced it standard silver 900 fine. “Well,” said the loser, “you sef’up the oysters and we’ll go down to the store and get the money. ” The winner, whose conscience began to smite him, spent exactly $lO in cham pagne and oysters, and then walked down to the store. The loser handed him a $lO bill, which he shoved into his pocket only to find a few hours later that it was counterfeit. He went back to expostulate, but the loser insisted that it was genuine, and added significantly : “If you have any doubts as to the cor rectness of my statement you had better subject it to a fire assay.” The smart Aleck wandered off blas pheming, and is now trying to figure up how much he is ahead on his trick. NEURALGIA AS a WARX IX'G.” One of the London medical journals declares that the great prevalence of neuralgia—or what commonly goes by that name—should be regarded as a warning indicative of a low condition of health, which must necessarily render its subjects peculiarly susceptible to the invasion of diseases of an aggessive type. It is always essential that the vital forces should be vigorous, and the nerve power especially in full develop ment ; but neuralgia indicates a lower depressed state of vitality—a poor and weak state—and should be promptly placed under treatment „ Accordrso to Herr Richard Andree there are 6,139,000 Jews in the world. Five-sixths live in Europe. Asia has 182,847. The greatest proportion is in Roumania, or twice as high as in Bus* sia. Norway, he says, contains only thirty-four. WASHINGTON'X ETIQUETTE. President Washington never went to Congress on public business except in a state coach, drawn by six cream-colored horses. The coach was an object which would excite the admiration of the throng even now in the streets of London. It was built in the shape of a hemisphere, and its panels were adorned with cupids, surrounded with flowers worthy of Florida, and of fruit not to be equaled out of California. The coachman aud postillions wero arrayed in gorgeous liveries of white and scarlet. The Puila delphia Gazette , a Government organ, regularly gave a supply of court news for the edification of the citizens. From that the people were allowed to leam as much as it was deemed proper for them to know about the President’s m mo ments, and a fair amount of space was also devoted to Mrs. Washington—who wa? not referred to as Mrs. Washington, but as “the amiable consort of our bo loved President.” When the President made his appearance at a ball or public reception, a dais was erected for him, upon which he might stand apart from the vulgar threng, and tho guests or visitors bowed to him in solemn silence. “ Republican simplicity ” has only come in later times. In our day the hack-driver who takes a visitor to a public reception at the White House is quite free to get off his box, wa’k in side by side with his fare and shake hands with the President with as much famil iarity as anybody else. Very few per sons presumed to shake hands with Gen. Washington. One of his friends, Gouverneur Morris, rashly undertook, for a foolish wager, to go up to him aud slap him on tho shoulder, saying, “My dear General, I am happy to see you look so well. ” The moment fixed upon arrived, and Mr. Morris, already half repenting of his wager, went up to the President, placed his hand upon his shoulder, and uttered the prescribed words. “Washington,” as an eye witness described the scene, “ withdrew his hand, stepped suddenly back, fixed his eye on Morrfs for several minutes with an angry frown, until the latter re treated abashed, and sought refuge in the crowd.” No one else ever tried a similar experiment. It is recorded of Washingtpn that he wished the official title of the President to be “High Mightiness,” and at one time it was pro posed to engrave his portrait upon the national coinage. No royal levees were more punctiliously arranged than those of the first President. —Quarterly B.e vieiv. EIGHT DATS IN A SNOWDRIFT. Instances are not wanting of the almost-miraculous preservation of hu man beings when buried in a drift wreath. Few more remarkable than the following will be found, which occurred at the village of Impington, about three miles from Cambridge. On the 2d of February, 1799, Mrs. Elizabeth Wood cock, a respectable resident of the vil lage, on returning home from market was overtaken by a snowdrift. Lying down beside a hedge, she was complete ly enveloped, and remained there until the 10th of the month—a period of eight days and eight nights. During the in terval, one of the villagers is said to have dreamed, on three different occa sions, that a hare was to be found at a certain spot at the roadside near the village. Immediately alter the last oc casion, he resolved to go and see ; and, on doing so, he discovered a handker chief in a hole in the snow ; and on fur ther search, to his amazement, Mrs. Woodcock. She was- conveyed, in full possession of her faculties, to her fami ly and friends, who had given her up for lost. She said she had a distinct recollection of hearing the village bell* chiming for the church service, on the day after that on which she was in wrapped in what she believed was to be her winding-sheet; and equally good was her hearing on the morning of the day on which she was rescued, when, on the bells again chiming, she recog nized tliem. About thirty or forty year* ago, a monument commemorative of the event, with an inscription stating the particulars, was erected on the spot; and persons are said to be still living in the village who remember having seen Mrs. Woodcock.— Chambers' Journal The Coroner’s jury heard the evidence, examined the body and then returned a verdict of death from exhaustion. The unfortunate man had been trying to start anew paper in Brooklyn. To dbead no eye and to respect no tongue is the great prerogative of inno cence. SUBSCRIPTION—SI.SD. NUMBER 37. PLEA SAXTHIES. A cool swindle : Collecting the ice bill twice. Inquirer : Where is the best place to learn to sing? The deseit. “ I occasionally drop into poetry,” as the man said when he fell into the editorial waste-basket. The difference betwen a hungry man and a glutton is: “ One longs to eat and the other eats too long.” It was a good thing for the whalers when Jonah blubbered in the marine monster that took him in. That blub ber has made the fortune of thousands. Somebody has figured out that Van derbilt’s income would allow him to, in one day, visit B,OJO circuses, eat 10,000 pints of peanuts, and drink 5,000 glasses of lemonade. The late Thomas Hood, driving in the country one day, observed a notice be side a fence, “Beware the Dog.” There not being any signs of a dog, Hood wrote on the board, “War be the Dog?” Brown says he hates inquisitive peo ple, and the worst kind of inquisitive ness, he thinks, is that exhibited by the man who stops him in the street and wants to know when ho is going to pay that little bib. “What is a junction, nurse?” asked a 7-year old fairy at a railway platform. “A junction, my dear,” answered the nurse, with the air of a very superior person, indeed, “why, it’s a place where two roads separate. ” A Syracuse man made a bet of SSO that he could find six women in that oity who would marry him, and he woe it. Now he’s ready to give the SSO to any body who will show him the way to get out of six engagements. “What a beautiful sight!” exclaimed Mrs. Jones, rapturously, as she looked out over the beautiful scenery from a Pennsylvania railroad car. “ Yes,” re plied Jones, without raising his eyes from his paper, “anthracite.” A finely-dressed lady sapped and fell, and the gentleman who assisted her to her feet inquired : “ Did you break any bones, madam ?” ‘ * No. I guess not,” she replied; “ but I’m just as mad as if I had broken a dozen of ’em I” Said one fellow to another, “ If I waa fn flat-footed as you are, I would not be afraid of slipping on the sidewalk.” “ Yes,” was the response, “some people are flat on one end and some on anoth er.” The first chap looked thoughtful and went down the street. Old Mr. and Mrs. Smiler were look ing at the comet from their chamber window. ‘‘No, Mollie, no; that cannot be the comet of 1813, the appendage is so much largsr.” “ But, my dear Hor - ace, the comet was younger then. • They retired in silence. “There’s too much horse-racing at your agricultural fairs,” remarked Par son Jones to the Secretary of the county society. “I should like to know, sir, what horse-racing has to do with agricult ure?'’ “Well, parson,” replied the Secretary, with a pleasant smile, “noth ing, perhaps; or, at least, no more than church lotteries have to do with the speading of the gospel.” Parson Jones law the point, and changed the conver sation immediately. H*n £ lies a man whosft •—Own was wob By blowing iu an empty gun. No sooner in the gun he blew Than r*p the golden stairs he flew. Aiid met the girl, on heaven’s green, Who lit the tire with kerosene. He also saw astride a stool, The man who tampered with a muia, He also saw—’twas mighty sore— The man who whistled “ Pinafore.*' And further on the miner cove Who thawed h;s powder in the stove. HOW LARGE HATS WERE INTRODUCED. A long-eared bat Went to buy a bat Bald the hatter, “ I’ve none that will do, Unless with the shears T shorten your ears, Which might be unpleasant to yon.” The long-eared bat Was so mad at that He flew over lands and sea=, Till in Pans (renowned For it fa-hions) he found A hat that he wore with great eaaat During a dearth of Dews in a Western newsp iper office, the office cat was jammed in the job press, aud the editor immediately set up the following head lines : Dreadful Accident ! NINE LIVES LOBT ! The United States is, so to speak, the pig-pen and pork barrel of the world \ of the 80,000,000 swine in the civilized ■world 34,000,000 are to be found in America. During the year ending June SO, 1880, we sent abroad $£1,000,900 worth of pork, lard and bacon.