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L REV. DR.TALMAGE. '
PTHE BROOKLYN DIVINE’S SUN.
DAY SEU3ION
[*'*
( Subject: “A Lire Church.
| Tfxt : “ Unto the angel of the Chinch in
| Smyrna, write: These things saith the. first
[ and the last, which was dead , ami is alive."
' —Revelation, iL, 8.
Smyrna was a great city of the ancients,
bounded on three sides by mountains. It was
the central emporium of the Levantinetrade.
In that prosj/erous and brilliant city there
was a Christian Church established. After it
had existed for a while, it was rooted down
by an earthquake. It was rebuilt Then it
was consumed by a conflagration that swept
over the entire city. That, Church went
through fire, and trouble, and disaster, but
kept on to great spiritual prosperity. The
fart was, that Church ha/1 the trace of Cod,
an ever active principle. Ha/1 it been other
wise, all the grandeur of architecture and all
the pomp of surroundings vould only have
been the ornament of death—the garlands of
a coffin, the plumes of a hearse.
It may be profitable tc consider what are
the elements of a live Church.
I remark in the first place, that ono char
acteristic of such a Chareh is punctuality in
meeting its cngagem*nt. All ecclesiastical
institutions have financial relations, and they
ought to meet thei/ obligations just as cer
tainly as men meet their obligations at the
bank. When a Church of God is not as faithful
kin its promises as the Hank of England, it
ceases to lie a Church of God. It ought to bo
understood that prayers cannot paint a
Church, and j/layers cannot pav the winter's
coal bill, and prayers cannot meet the insur
ance; and that, while prayers can do a
thousand filings, there are a thousand
things that prayers cannot do. Prayer
for any particular Church will never
reach heaven high unless it goes down
pocket deep. In my Church at the West,
there was a man of comfortable means, who
used to pray for his pastor in such elongated
style that he liecame a nuisance to the prayer
meeting: asking God, in a prayer that was
almost without ceasing, that the j/astor might
be blessed in his basket and in his store, while
the fart was lie never jiaid anything. If we
pray for the advancement of the Church, and
■do not out of our means contribute for its ad
vancement, our prayer is only mockery. Let
the Church of God t hen meet its obligations
on the outside, and let the members oi every
congregation meet the obligations on the in
side, and the Church will bo financially pros
perous.
Let me say, also, that there must be punctu
ality in the attendance on the house of the
Lord. If the service begins at half past ten
m the morning, the regular congregation of
a live church will not come at a quarter to
eleven. If the service is to begin at half past
seven in the evening, the regular congrega
tion of a live church will not come at a
quarter to eight. In some churches I have
noticed the people are always tardy. There
aro some people who are always late. They
were bom too late, and the probability is they
will die too late. The rustling of dresses up
the aisle, and the slamming of doors, and
the treading of heavy feet, is poor
. inspiration for a minister. It requires groat
* abstraction in a pastor’s mind to proceed with
the preliminary exercises of tho Church when
one-half of the uudience seated are looking
around to see the other half come in. Such
a difference of attendance upon the house
of God may l/e a difference or time-pieces;
but the live Church of which I am speaking
ought to go by railroad time, and that is
pretty well understood in all our communities.
There is ono hvmn that ought to be sung in a
great many Christian families on Sabbath
morning:
"Early, my God, without delay,
I haste to seek Thy face.”
Another characteristic of a live church is
the fact that all the people participate in the
exercises. A stranger can tell by the way the
first tune starts whether there is any life
there. A church that does not sing is a dead
church. It is awful to find a cold drizzle of
music coming down from the organ loft,
while all the people beneath sit in silence.
When a tune wanders around, lonely and un
befriended, and is finally lost amid the arches
becauso the people do not join in it, there is
not much melody made unto the Lord. In
Heaven they all sing, though some there
cannot sing half as well as others.
The Methodist Church has sung all around
the world, and gone from conquest to
conquest, among other things because it is a
singing church; and any Christian church or
ganization that with enthusiasm performs this
put its duty will go on from triumph to
triumph. A church of God that can sing, can
do anything tint ought to be done. We go
forth into this holy war with the Bible in one
hand and a hymn-book in the other. Oh! ye
who used to sing the praises of tle Lord and
have got out of the habit, take your harps
down from the willows. lam glad to know
that, as a church, we are making advance
ment in this respect. When I came to be your
pastor we hail on excellent choir in the little
chapel, and they sang very sweetly to us Sab
bath by Sabbath; but ever and anon there was
trouble, for you know that the choirs in the
United States are the Waterloos where the
great battles go on. One Sunday they will
sing like angels, and the next Sunday they
will be mad, and will not sing at all. We re
solved to settle all the difficulties, and have
one skillful man at the organ, and one man
to do the work of a precentor; and now, from
Sabbath to Sabbath, the song comes up like
the voice of mighty thunderings.
“ Let those refuse to sing
Who never knew our God;
But children of the Heavenly King
Should speak their joys abroad.”
On the way to triumph that never ends, and
pleasures that never die —sing!
Another characteristic of a live church is a
flourishing Sabbath-school. It is too late in
the history of the Christian Church to argue
the benefit of such an institution. The Sab
bath-school is not a supplement to the Church;
it is its right arm. But you say there are
dead churches that have Sabbath-6chools.
Yes, but the Sabbath-schools are dead, too.
It is a dead mother holding in her arms a
dead child. But when superintendent, and
teachers, and scholars come on Sabbath after
noons together, their faces glowing with in
terest and enthusiasm, and their songs are
heard all through tho exercises, and at the
dost' they go away feeling that they have
been on the Mount of Transfiguration—that
is a live school, and it is characteristic of a
live Church. There is only one thing I have
against the Sabbath-schools of this country,
and that is, they aro too respectable. Me
gather into our schools the children
of the refined and the cultured,
and the educated; but alas for the
great multitude of the children of the
abandoned and the lost! A few of them are
gathered into our Sabbath-schools: but what
about the 70,000 destitute children of New
York, and the score of thousands of des
titute children of Brooklyn, around whom
are thrown no benign, and heavenly, and
Christian influences ? It is a tremendous ques
tion, what is too become of the destitute chil
dren of these cities? We must act on them
or they will act on us. M'e will either Chris
tianize them, or they will heatkenize us. It is
a question not more for the Christian than
for the philanthropist and the statesmen.
Oh! if we conld have ad these suffer
ing little ones gathered together, what
a scene of hunger, and wretchedness,
and rags, and sin, aad trouble, ana
darkness: If we could see those little
feet on the broad road to death, which
through Christian charity ought to be
pressing the narrow path of life; if we could
near those voices in blasphemy, which ought
to be singing the praises of God; if we could
see those little hearts, winch at that age ought
n t to be soiled with one unclean thought, oe
o miug the sewers for eveiy übominaiion; if
v ) oould see those suffering little ones, sacri
t ed on the altar of every iniquitous
r ssiou and baptized with lire from the
lAa of the pit, we would recoil, crying
cat; “Avaunt, thou dream of belli” They
A not always going to be children. They
coming up to be the men and women of
tm country. That spark of iniquity that
might now be put out with one drop of the
wa’cr of life, will bcco r.e t-h- conflagrationof
a, 5 e 'K Ullfcg tiiul Goa over planted in.
the sOul. That which ought to have l/een a
temple of the Ho!y Ghost will become a
scarred and blast •and ruin—every light quenched
and every altar in the dust, lhat petty thief,
who slips into your store and takes a yard of
cloth irom your counter, will become the
highwayman of the forest, or the burglar at
midnight, picking the lock of your money safe
and blowing up the store to hide the villainy.
A great army, with staggering step, and
btoodshot eye, and drunken hoot, they
*re coming on—gathering recruits from
every grog shop and den of inlainy in the
land, to taae the ballot-box and hurrah at the
elections. The hard-knuckled fist of ruffian
ism will have more power than the gentle
hand of intelligence and sobriety. Men
bioate l, and with the signature of sin
burned in from the top of the forehead
to the bottom of the cbin, will look hon
men out of countenance. Moral corpses,
which ought to be buried a hundred feet deep
to keep tuein from poisoning the air, will rot
in the 1 ace of the sun at noonday. Industry
in her pain frock will be unappreciated,
while thousands of men will wanuer m idle-
ness, with their lianas on their hips, saying;
“ The world owes us a living. O, wnat a tre
mendous power there is m iniquity when un
educated, anil unrestrained, and unblanched
it goes on concentrating, aud deej/ennig, and
widening, and gathering momentum until it
swings alien 1 with a very triumph of desola
tion, drowning like surges, scorching like
flames, crushing like rocks! W hat are you
going to do with this abandoned population
of tae streets? Will you gather them in your
Churches! it is not the will of your Heavenly
Father that one of these little ones
should perish. If you have ten respectable
children in your class, gather in ten that are
not respectable. If in your Bible-class there
be twenty young men who have come from
Christian homes and elegant surroundings,
let those twenty young men go out anil
gather in twenty more of the young men of
the city who are lost to God and lost to so
ciety. " This outside population, unless ed
cated and restrained, will work ter
ror in ages that are to come.
Years ago, at New Orleans, when the cholera
was raging fearfully, a steamboat put out just
before nightfall, crowded with passengers
who were trying to escape from the
pestilence. After the boat had been out a
little while the engineer fell with the cholera.
The captain, in consideration, went
down among the passengers and asked;
“Is there any one here who knows
anything about engineering?” A Swarth
man replied: "I am an engineer.” “Well;
said the Captain, “I would be very
glad if you would take charge of this boat.”
The man went to the engine. The steamer
moved more rapidly, until, after awhile, the
Captain and some passimger were alarmed,
and they went to see what wai the mat
ter, and they found that this was a maniac
engineer, and that he was peeping
down the safety-valve; and, as they
e*rne to him, lie said; "I a:n comnfissionc XQf
R'.tan to drive this steamer to Tied!” and ,ne
flourished his pistol, and would not come
down. But after awhile, through some
stratagem, he was brought from his position,
and the lives of the passengers were saved.
O, ray friends! that steamer had no such
peril as our institutions are threat
ened with, if the ignorant and
unrestrained children of this land shall
come up in their ignorance and their crime
to engineer our civil and religious institu
tions, and drive them on the rocks. Educate
this abandoned population, or they will over*
throw the institutions of this land. Gather
them into your Sabbath-schools. I con
gratulate you that many have been
gathered. Go forth, teachers, in the
name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and
on the coming Sabbath may there be
found gathered scores anil hundreds of these
wanderers, and instead of eighteen hundred
in the Sabbath-school, we shall see three
thousand or four thousand, and the grace of
God will come down upon them, and the Holy
Spirit will bring them all into the truth.
Another characteristic of a live church is
one with appropriate architecture. In the
far West and amid destitute population, a
log church is very appropriate—the people
living in log houses. But in communities
where people live m comfortable abodes, a
church uncommodious or Jacking in beauty is
a moral nuisance. Because Christ was born in
a manger is no reason why we should worship
Him in a barn. Let the churches of Jesus
Christ be not only comfortable, but ornate.
Years ago we resolved to have a comfortable
church. We resolved that it should be arnphi
theatrical in shape. The prominent archi
tects of the country, after figuring on the
matter a good while, said that such a church
would not be churchly, and they would have
nothing to do with the enterprise.
But after awhile we found an architect will
ing to risk his reputation. Heputupforus
the first tabernacle, in amphitheatrical style.
We liked it. All who came liked it. This
building followed in the same style. We be
lieve it is appropriate aud adapted. An an
fular church will have an angular theology.
he Church of Jesus Christ ought to be a great
family circle, the pulpit only the fire-place,
around which they are gathered in sweet and
domestic communion. But when our first
tabernacle went up, O the caricature and the
scoffing ! They said: "It’s a hippodrome!
It’s a holy cirdus ! It’s Talmage's theatre 1 ”
But the Lord came down with power upon
that old building, and made it a gate of
heaven to a great many. And this building
followed. That we wore right in persisting
in the style of architecture is proved
by the fact that now there ere sixty or
seventy churches in the United States
in the same style. Indeed, our tabernacle has
revolutionized Church architecture in this
country. A live Church must have a com
modious, a comfortable, an adapted building.
"How amiable are Thy Tabernacles, O Lorn
of Hosts! I would rather be a door-keeper in
the house of my God than to dwell in the tents
of wickedness.”
Again, the characteristic of a live church
must be that it is a soul-saving church. It
must be the old Gospel of Christ. “Oh,” say
some people, the Gospel of Christ allows but
a small swing for a man’s faculties, and some
men havo left the ministry with that idea.”
One such said to Rowland Hill: “I have
left the ministry because I don’t want to
hide my talents any longer.” “Well,” re
plied Rowland Hill, “I think the more j r ou
hide your talents the better.” Why, there is
no field on earth so grand as that which is
open before the Gospel ministry. Haveyou
powers of analysis? Exhaust them here. Have
fou unconquerable logic? Let it grapple with
aul’s Epistle to the Romans. Have
you strong imagination? Let it dis
course on the Psalms of David, or
John’s Apocalyptic Vision. Have you great
power of pathos? Exhaust it in telling the
story of a Saviour’s love. Have you a bold
style of thinking? Then follow Ezekiel’s wheel,
full of eyes,and hear through his chapters the
rush of the wings of the seraphim. All ye
who want a grand field in which to work for
God, come into the Gospel ministry. At
any rate, come into Christian circles,
and somewhere and somehow declare the
grace of God. Pardon for all sin. Comfort
for all trouble. Eternal life for all the dead.
O, mv soul! preach it for ever. It has been
my ambition, and I believe it has been yours,
my dear people, in these years of my
ministry, to have this a soul-saving Church,
and we never yet threw out the Gospel net
but we drew in a great multitude. They
have come, a hundred at a time; and two
hundred and fifty at a time; and I expect
the day will appear when, in some service,
there will be thre thousand souls accepting
the offers of eternal life. I wish I
could tell you the circumstances
that have come under my observation
proving the fact that God has blessed the
prayers of these people in behalf of souls im
mortal. I could tell you of one night, when
I stood at the end of the platform, and a gen
tleman passed me, his cheek bronaed with the
soa, and as he went into the inquiry-room
he said to me: “I am an Englishman.”
I said: “I am very glad to we you; walk in. ”
That night he gave his heart to the Lord. It
was a clear ease of quick but thorough con
version. Passing out at tho dose of the in
quiry meeting, L said: “How long have you
bkm in this country r He said: “I arrived* by
.teamer this morning at eleven o'clock.” I said:
‘‘How long will you be in the cityP He said:
* - I leave to-morrow for Canada, and thence I
go to Halifax, and thence to Europe, and I'll
never be here again.” I said: “I think you
most have come to this country to have your
sail saved.” He said: "That certainly was
the reason.” In that other room, one night,
at the close of the service, there sat among
other persons three persons, looking so
cheerful that I said to myself: "These
are not anxious inquirers. ” I said to the man:
“Areyou a Christian?” He said: “lam.”
I raid: “When did you become a Christianf’
He said: “To-night.” His wife sat next to
him. I said to her; "Are you a Christian?”
Hhe said: “lam.” I said: “When did you
become a Christianf’ She said: “To
night.” I remarked: “Is this young
lady your daughter?” They said: “Yes.”
I raid to her: “Are you a Christian?”
She said: “Yes.” I said: “When did you be
come a Christian ?” She said: “Tonight.” I
raid to them: "From whence came you?”
They said: "We are from Charleston, South
Carolina.” I said: "When did you came?”
They said: “We came yesterday.” “How
long are you going to remain?” We
go to-morrow. \Ve have never been
here before, and shall never be here
again.” I have heard from them since.
They are members of the Church of Jesus
Christ, in good and regular standing, eminent
for consistency and piety. And so God has
made it a soul-saving Church. But I could
tell you of a tragic scene, when once at
the close of the service I found a man
in one of these front seats, wrought upon
most mightily. I said to him: “What is the
matter?” He replied: “I am a captive of
strong drink; 1 came from the West; I
thought, perhaps, you could do me some good;
1 find you can’t do me any good; I find there
is no hope for me.” I said: “Come into this
side room and we will talk together.” “Uh,
no!” he said, “there's no need if my
going in ; I am a lost man ; I have a beautiful
wife ; I have four beautiful children ; I had a
fine profession ; I have had a thorough edu
cation ; I had every opportunity a man ever
hail, but I am a captive of strong drink ; God
only knows what I suffer.” I said : "Be
encouraged ; come in here, and we’ll talk
together about it.” “No,” he said, “1
can’t come; you can't do me me auy good.
I was on the Hudson River Railroad yester
day, and coming down, I resolved never again
to touch a drop of strong drink. While I sat
there a man came in—a low creature —and
sat by me; he had a whiskey flask, and he
said to me: ‘ Will you take a drink I said no;
but oh how I wanted it! and as I Slid no, it
seemed that the liquor curled up around the
mouth of the flash and begged: ‘Take me!
take me! take me!’ I felt I couldn't resist it.
and yet I was determined not to drink, and 1
rushed out on the platform of the car, and
I thought I would jump off; we were
going at the rate -of forty miles
an hour, and I didn’t dare to jump;
the paroxysm of thirst went off, and I am
here to-night.” I said: “Come in, I’ll pray
for you, and commend you to God.” He
came in trembling. Some of you remember.
After the service, we walked out and up the
street. I said: “You have an awful
struggle; I’ll take you into a drug
store: perhaps the doctor can give you some
medicine will help you in your struggle,
thougn, after all, you will Lave to depend
upon the grace of God.” I said to the doc
tor: “Can you give this man something to
help him in his battle against strong drink?”
“I can,” replied the doctor, anil he pre
pared a bottle of medicine. I said:
"There is no alcohol in this—no strong
drink?” "None at all,” said the doctor.
"How long w r ill this last?” I inquired. "It
will last him a week.” “O,” I said, "give us
another bottle.” We passed out into the
street and stood under the gaslight. It was
getting late, and I said to the man: "I must
part with you. Put your trust in the Lord,
and He will see you through. You will make
use of this medicine when the paroxysm of
thirst comes on.” A few -weeks passed away,
and I got a letter from Boston saying: “Dear
friend, I inclose the money you paid for that
medicine. I have never used any of it. The
thirst for strong drink has entirely gone
away from me. I send you two or
three newspapers to show you what
I have been doing since I came to Boston.’'
I opened the newspapers and saw accounts
of meetings of two or three thousand people
to whom this man had been preaching right
eousness, temperance, and judgment tc
come. I have heard from him again
and again since. He is faithful now.
and will be, I know, faithful to the last. 0.
this work of soul saving! Would-God that
out of this audience to-day 500 men might
hear the voice of the Son of God bidding
them come to a glorious resurrect ion!
All the offers of the Gospel are extended tc
you, “without money and without price,’
and you are conscious of the fact that these
opportunities will soon be gone forever.
The conductor of a rail-train was telling me
of the fact that he was one night standing
by his train on a side track, his
train having been switched off so that
the express train might daft past unhindered.
He said while he stood there in the darkness,
beside his train on the side-track, he heard
the thunder of the express in the distance.
Then he saw the flash of the headlight.
The train came with fearful velocity,
nearer aud nearer, until after awhile, when it
came very near, by the flash of the headlight,
he saw that the switchman, either through in
toxication or indifference, had not attended to
his duty, and that the train, unless something
were done immediately, would rush on the
side track and dash the other train to atoms.
He shouted to the switchman: “Set up that
switch!” and with one stroke the switch
went back, and the express thundered
on. O, men and women, going on toward
the eternal world, swift as the years, swift as
the months, swift as the days, swift as the
hours, swift as the minutes, swift as the sec
onds—on what track are you running? To
ward light or darkness? Toward victory or
defeat? Toward heaven or hell? Set up that
switch. Cry aloud to God. “Now is the day
of salvation.”
A Unique Resignation.
The Wilmington (N. C.) Star says:—
a colored man employed in a mercantile
establishment in the city, but whose
home is over the river in Brunswick,
sent his resignation to his employer a
few days ago as follows :
“I inform you, Sir, that an individual
Tuesday night, about 11.45 o’clock,
while coming from Brunswick ferry to
town, lie was discovered by a band of
robbers—a group of three—one of these
being white. Was attacked by the same
advancing from the woods, asking for a
chew of tobacco. The individual draw,
ing from his pocket one square cut [of
tobacco] and drawing his knife at the
same time. Opening the weapon he
presented it with the tobacco, which
was refused. Taking half the Tabae
anp givin’ it, the scared man putting
[tiie rest of] the Tobac in his pocket.
The enemy seized him by the arm, tak
ing from his vest pocket $7.00 in money.
He resisted, trying to broke the holt,
gnd the two enemy came in arm-distant
of the frightened victim. He dealt him
[the enemy] a blow with the knife across
the face, cutting pretty severe. Horrid
expressions were made, threatening his
life. Cutting at the man that had him
in the side, he broke the holt and flew.
“I likes to work and I like* money,
But my life is sweeter than honey.
“I must see my wife, and it will never
do for me to walk that road at night.
So Mr , with all due respects to you,
Sir, in the world, I will haf [have] to
stop, because you will not agree for me
to go home any ear?ier.
Franklin Hinklet, of Fall Moun
tain, is a good subject for the hair re
storers. He was ill for some timo -with
disease of the spine, and the hair of his
head, beard, moustache, eyebrows and
eyelashes all came out, but" there is no
prospect of its return. He would make
a good photograph to be labeled ‘‘Be
fore Using.”
HOW TO LIVE.
A Mutter About Which Even
Doctors Disagree.
Facts telling That “One Mm’s Meat h
Another Man’s Poison.”
The difference in the views even of
physicians as to the best means of keep
ng the clockwork of life going are al
most as great, as the original differences
in the time pieces themselves. Some
people think it necessary to eat three or
four meals a day in order to keep their
lives going, while others declare that
the chief destroyer of life and health is
food itself. When a sleek, well-fed man
called on Abernethy and complained of
a general break-up in health, the. quaint
old Esculapius said: 4 Give up your
dinners; live on sixpence a day and earn
it.” The ancients were gen
erally content with two square meals a
day, the prandium and the cce/is, and
many modern philosophers have found
that they can feel much lighter and more
comfortable when they eat only twice in
twenty four hours. Others, on the con
trary, both physicians and laymen,
whenever they see a person in weak
health recommend more food, and when
the dyspeptic answers that tough Chica
go beef, such as Brooklyn is now re
joicing in, does not ‘‘sit easy on his
bosom’s lord,” the stomach, entreat him
or her to take more nourishment, such
as jelly every five minutes, beef tea every
four, oysters before going to bed, and
port wine w henever a faint feeling comes
upon them. Sir Robert Peel, before he
made any great effort in the English
house of commons, used to eat a big,
rare, rump steak, with a bottle of port.
Pitt and Fox used to take two bottles of
the same seductive fluid, and so did
Lord Chancellor Eldon every night of
his life for fifty years. One man thinks
boxing will keep him strong; another,
rowing; a third, walking s many miles
ever day without any object; a fourth,
going to bed at a particular
hour every night; a fifth, oat
meal every morning; a sixth, bath
ing every day and so forth.
Physical exercise is, no doubt, one of
the greatest preservatives of life, but
when overdone it has killed thousands
of strong men by heart disease, con
sumption, apoplexy or paralysis.
Mr. Gladstone has recruited his
strength for many years by felling trees,
and his diet is very simple, a little fish
some bread and cheese and half a pint
bitter ale often serving him for a dinner
at his club after a hard day’s work.
Other brain workers, like Archbishop
Whately, have had enormous appetities,
and been equal to three ordinary men at
the dinner tabic; ~S?ure air and pure
water have a great deal to do with lon
gevity, so much so that in the lake dis
tricts of Westmoreland, England, the
average ago of those who died during a
recent very severe winter was above
eighty-five years.
Some sanitarians are always saying
“Take a rest; let your mind lie fallow;
don’t work so much,” and seem to think
that brain work especially is a constant
drain upon one’s vital capital. Others,
I believe more truly, look upon idleness
as the real “theif of time,” and point to
the great workers who have lived to a
grand old age. Mathematicians claim that
even the absorbing mental process of
working out difficult problems is con
ducive to longevity. Leibnitz, they
tell us, lived his seventy years, Euhle
his seventy-six, Lagrange his seventy
seven, Laplace his stventy-eight years,
while Sir Isaac Newton died at eighty
five, Plato at eighty-two, Archimedes
at seventy-five, and the somewhat mythi
cal Pythagoras at ninety. Some of these
ancients, however, were not eminent
mathematicians, but may be classed as
general philosophers, natural or meta
physical. Poets do not always die bc
their time, as Keats and Byron and
Arthur Hugh Clough did. On the con
trary, the much-abused Tennyson will
survive, I prophesy, all the terrible
criticisms on his conservatism, which
have been made about his last poem,
and perhaps most severely by the ex-
Prime Minister Gladstone, who con
ferred his earldom upon him.—[Brook
lyn Eagle.
The Unruly Member.
A good deal is heard from time to
time as to the length and strength of
the human tongue. It is now stated on
the authority of Dr. Macalister, Profes
sor of anatomy at the University of Cam
bridge, that, if the fibres contained in
a man’s tongue were placed end to end,
they would reach eight miles,and if they
were all strung together, they would be
capable of lifting three hundred weight.
The professor in th ; s way said it was
possible to account for some of the man
ners of the unrul member.
Needed Them,
Busy artist (a noted impressionist)—
Don’t want any matches, suspenders or
anything else; move on.
Peddler- Ino zell dose dings. I zell
spectacles an’ eyeglasses.
“All the same; I never wear them.”
“I zay, did you baint dot bicture?”
“That landscape? Yes?”
“You should spectacles haf right
\wav. ” TOmaha World.
PEARLS OF THOUGHT.
#
Economy is of itself a gTeat revenue.
Do not put too much trust in the man
who praises you.
The road to home happiness lies over
small stepping-stones.
As every thread of gold is valuable,
so is every moment of time.
It is easier to believe an ill report than
to inquire into the truth thereof.
Great hearts alone understand how
much glory there is in being good.
He will not long be a babe in grace
who lives out that little grace he has.
We all love to be flattered, but tho
best friends we have are those who crit
icise our acts.
If we hope for what we are not likely
to possess, we act and think in vain, and
-make life a greater dream and shadow
than it really is.
One of the illusions is that the present
hour is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that every day is
the best day in the year.
The golden beams of truth and the
silken cords of love, twisted together,
will draw men on with a sweet violence,
whether they will or not.
Our condition never satisfies us; the
present is always worst. Though Jupiter
should grant his request to each, we
should continue to importune him.
The deepest trust leads to the most
powerful action. It is the silenc
ing oil that makes the machine obey
the motive power with greatest readiness
and result.
A flippant, frivolous man may redicule
others, may controvert them, scorn them;
but he who has any respect for himself
seem* to renounce the right of thinking
meanly of others.
A Joke on Tennessee Soldiers.
Tennessee troops were the butt of
much joking among union soldiers dur
ing the war on the ground that they
never shut a door and had feet that
would astonish a Chicago girl; the
neglect to shut doors was explained by
Tennesseans on the ground that their
climate was so sulubrious that they had
no need of doors except as luxuries. But
they never quite got over the story a
Yankee prisoner told at Belle Isle about
their big feet. ‘‘lt was at Petersburg,”
was the prisoner’s story, “that our bri
gade met a Tennessee regiment and
poured hot shot into them for about an
hour. We knew we were doing terrible
execution, because we could see their
guns dropping out of their hands. But
somehow none of them dropped over.
Presently we charged, and when we
came up to their line, we found that
whaj; remained of it were dead men. We
had to knock them over with the butts
of our muskets, because their big feet
wouldn’t let them fall down.”—[New
York Tribune.
The Dyaks of Borneo*
The Dyak has great affection for his
children, and he regards his wife as his
equal in everything except in hunting and
fighting. Her opinion is asked in all
matters of importance, and he treats her
with great respect.
The subsistence of the Dyak is rice
and bananas, grown on his farm, pigs
and chickens grown under and around
his house, wild fruit and honey and wild
hogs, deer, porcupines and birds, slain
or trapped in the jungle. He gathers
gutta-percha, dammar gum, rattans and
beeswax, which he disposes of to the
swindling Chinese who visit his village
for brass wire, cloth, gongs and —
if his store has become exhausted.—
[Youths’ Companion.
“ Wrong Foot Foremost.”
“You got out of bed wrong foot fore
most,” scolds the mother at the fretful
child. She does not know what the
words mean. But if she could trace the
saying back 3,000 years she would find
it originated precisely where the picture
given by Christ of the judgement day
came from; the right was associated, in
all antiquity, with good luck and the
left with bad fortune. To put the
left leg out of bed first was a
bad sign. I suppose of all things our
good parsons would protest against be
ing charged with worshiping the sun;.
yet the custom of looking upward in
prayer originated in the worship of the
day god.-—[Globe-Democrat.
Bio Examination Necessary.
“I suppose,” savagely observed the
Chairman of the Board of Supervisors,
“that we ought to look over the ac
counts of the County Treasurer.”
“I think he is all right,” replied one
of the members.
“What makes you?”
“Weil, he’s got two patches on his
Sunday pants, and his wife was working
like a nailer yesterday to get a thirty
cent dress for twenty-nine cents a yard.”
The books were not examined.--[Wall
Street News.
Happy All Round.
Husband—lf you only had the ability
to cook as mother used to I would be
happy dear.
Wife—And if you only had the
ability to make money enough to buy
things to cook as your father used to, I
too would be happy, dear.—[New York
Sun
CHILDREN'S COLUMN*
My shadow.
I have a little shadow that goes in and out
with me.
And what can be the use of him is more than
I can see. *
He is very, very like me from the heels Up
to the head,
And I see him jump before me, when I jump
into my bed.
The funniest thing about him is the way ha
likes to grow,
Not at all like proper children, which is al
ways very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an
India rubber ball,
And he sometimes gots so little that there’s
none of him at all.
He hasn’t got a notion of how children ought
to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every
sort of way.
He stays so closo beside me, he’s a coward
you can see;
I’d think shame to stick to nursie as that
shadow sticks to me!
One morning, very early, before the sun was
WP
I rose and found ths shining dew on every
buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant
sleepy-head.
Had stayed at home hehind me and was fast
asleep in bed.
—[Robert Lewis Stevenson.
Salt Water Fireworks.
Although water is used for putting out
fires, it is nevertheless possible in certain
localities to set the sea on fire. The
shores of the Caspian, for instance, are
full of naphtha springs, and tho impris
oned gases of this volatile substance not
infrequently escape through fissures, andj
bubble up in large volumes to the sur
face. The manner in which this circum
stances is taken advantage of to set off
marifle pre works is thus described by %
traveler:
* ‘Hiring a steam barge, we put out to
sea, and, after a lengthy search, found a'
suitable spot. Our boat having moved
round to windward, a sailor threw ST
bundle of burning flax into tho sea, when
floods of light dispelled the surrounding
darkness. No firfiwprks, no
tions, are to be compared to the sign?
that presented itself to our gaze. It
was d9 though the sea trembled convul
sively amid thousands of shooting,
ing tongues of flame of prodigious size.
Now they emerged from the water, now,
they disappeared. At one time they
soared aloft and melted away; at another,
a gust of wind divided them into bright
streaks of flame, the foaming, bubbling
billows making music to the scene. In
compliance with the wishes of some of our
spectators our barge was steered toward)
the flames, and passed through the midst'
of them, a somewhat dangerous experi
ment, as the barge was employed in the
transport of naphtha, and was pretty
well saturated with the fluid. How
ever, we escaped without accident, and*
gazed for an hour longer on the unwont
ed spectacle of a sea on fire.” f<!
Which la the Mother 1
You have all heard of the judgment
of Solomon, what he did when two
mothers claimed the same babv.
Curiously enough, the same idea
seems to have suggested itself to a Chin
ese mind in a similar dilemma.
This is the story:
Two women came before a mandarin
in China, each of them protesting that
she was the mother of a little child they
had brought with them. They were so
eager and so positive that the madarln
was sorely puzzled. He retired to con
sult with his wife, who was a wise and
clever woman, whose opinion was held
in great repute in the neighborhood.
She requested five minutes in whjch
to deliberate. At the end of that time
she spoke.
“Let the servants catch me a large fish
in the river, ” she commanded, “and let.
it be brought me here alive.”
This was done.
f
“Bring me now the infant,” she said;
•‘but leave the women in the outer-cham
ber! y
Thi9 was done, too. Then the manda
rin’s wife caused the baby to be un
dressed, and its clothes put on the large
fish.
“Carry the creature outside now, and
throw it into the river in the sight of
the two women.”
The servant obeyed her orders, fling
ing the fish into the water, where it
rolled about and struggled, disgusted,
no doubt, by tho wrappings in which it
was swaddled.
Without a moment’s pause, one of tfco
mothers threw herself into the river with
a shriek. She must save her drown in fr
child.
Without a doubt, she is the true
mother,” the mandarin’s wile declared;
and the mandarin nodded his head, and
thought his wife ihe wisest woman in the
“Flowery Kingdom.”
Meantime, the false mother crept
away. She was found out in her im
posture; and the mandarin’s wife forgot
all about her, in the occupation of dress
ing the little baby in the best silks she
could find in her wardrobe.—[Church
man.
Could Get Another.
Anxious Skipper—“ The barometer
has fallen, sir.”
Unnautical Siilorcss— “Ncvcp* mind,
captain! Don’t feel so badly over it.
We can get another when wc get to Key
West.”—[Tid-Bits.