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THE JACKSON ARGUS.
Their Old Stories.
A man win* never could tell a story
joined a story tellers’ club that thought
it had a corner on the humor of the
universe. The man got along very
well so long as be didn’t have to say
anything, but there came a time when
he was put on the program for a
humorous story, and then his wife
coached him for a week beforehand
on one of her own funniest stories.
When he came home from the story
telling contest she asked him how
things went Lie said: "Pretty well.
All the other fellows told some
mighty good ones” Then he gave a
synopsis of the good ones the other
fellows had told. “Darned clever,
those chaps are.’ p lie said. “1 don’t
know what they would think of me if
they knew l had learned my story
from a woman. They * don’t think
much of it woman's sense of humor.”
“You needn’t let that worry you.
dear,” she said sweetly, “1 have
heard the other fellows’ wives tell
their old stories at card parties for the
last five years.”—New York Press.
Where Knowledge Was Bliss.
A certain professor of histology who
delivers lectures in one of the eastern
colleges is not averse to a quiet bit of
diversion on the side, as instance his
wife’s discovery.
“See here, Robert," said she to the
doctor as she fumbled in his pockets
after his late arrival home, “what are
all these red. white and blue disks 1
find here in your pocket?”
“Eh? Yes—why—those—are—that is
—I use—ch—l mean disks— to illustrate
my lectures on the blood. You see.
the white ones represent the white cor
puscles and the red ones the red cor
puscles of the blood.”
“And, pray, what do the blue ones
represent?”
“Eh? The blue ooee? Oh—yes—h'ml
Why—r—certainly—they represent the
corpuscles of the renoas bleed.”
Weil, maybe she believed Ip# and
maybe—well, be quit piajriM polmr, at
say fate.— Harpsrti
Umst slock of Blractak
—i ■ ■■ ■ ■— ■■■ ■ ■
• ; V-
IF IT’S evs IT’S GUARANTEED,
When spring time once more smiled oil the land,
And the sun shone warm and bright,
George thought the house much needed
A fresh, clean coat of white.
And thus young George spoke to his sire,
“Our tools indeed are line,
And since we need to buy some paint,
Let’s buy some of that. line.
“The tools, you know, have proved their worth,
We’ve given them the test,
And feel quite sure that we can say,
Our Very Best’s the best.”
They bought the white for house and fence,/
And for the barn and shed,
They bought another can of paint,
It was a fine old red.
“This paint will last,” young George remarked,
“It’s guaranteed you see,
The quality we know is best,
When we use “0. V. B.”
And so the fame of “O. V. B.”
Spread o’er the land so great,
As spread the paint of that same brand
O’er George’s vast estate.
■
Jackson Hardware Cos.,
THE MODERN HARDWARE STORE. ’PHONE 80.
Everybody Boosts the Chautauqua.
WE ARE LOCATED
In the rear of the Express Office, and are prepared to do you
BLACKSMITHING Work in a substantial and superior style.
Scientific Horse Shoeing
a specialty. Tires Reset, Wagons and Bodies built, General Repair Wort
carefully done. '
THURSTON & COiTPANY,
Tomjand Jack Thurston, Jackson, Ga.
New Enterprise For Jacksoi
I have decided to locate in Jackson, and am prepared to do your
PAINTING, PAPER HANGING AND INTERIOR DECORATING,
Having worked under an expert in this line for the past two years,
I feel confident of giving entire satisfaction. Your patronage
earnestly solicited.
Prices Right. Skilled Work. Material the Best
MERCER R. JOHNSON.
Temporary Headquarters at J. S. Johnson Co.’s Furniture Store.
n HAVE IT! ffl*
STACKS OF LUMP!
BUTTS LUMBER
Jadjaon an* -KnUnabu**.
Braue $1 Scar
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