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VOL. IV. I'll IS i ADVERTISER, I'i'BI.ihhkd Kvicrt Friday. VUIIT I.AIXJC8, - • - . - GA Subscription Bates On** m.jiv, one year..... SI n° Ons months,.. • •••• .60 < N*e ntjiv, lltiw 1 month,... .0 Tnw<’ *»r* • advance prie«ft, »n<l ^h«n not paid onn> Ul ill* end of th*» year, 24 per cent wiU bn #ddf*d. Rato*. Advertising I IJourg™'*’) . ()nr plan*, ....................................$1.00 (ten linwor cm bn* itimrii inanition.... J, 0 For ruck »ubiM‘qu»*nt 10 taper Nolle** in knul column, »•*• one. Kditoml noticct*, whom mpicrttsu lor p r vxml bminftt, fO. cnU per line. Al t. rvitwOlAI. MATTKIt DnVllf.lt PRICK. OhiUiari** niunt bo paid for iu> other nd 4pii> in- h enrd inserted In thn Ruiincn Di¬ rector* for Five Dolbim ayenr. Adrcrtko-n onU inserted without spcnfica- will be tkm m to the number of io»ertion» puhliibii d until ordered out, and charged HO oerdinely. Bill., dun when thn ndvcrti.cmcnt* / nrc arc will bo called for handed ^hen ii««*de<l. In and tho, money II ILL li. a It AH AM, Mmuifft r «(• Lit I tor. mmmm . — DIRECTORY _ -0 -- ! CHURCHES. BArt idt Cntmeil.-ItfV. Z.T. Weaver, Pas lor. PrORohlnR lot »ml 3nl Huuclntb in each month. Nundny-fchool 9 n. n>., J. L, 1 uul iin Supt. Vrnyer meeting Tliumuny even in**. _ -Rev ____- J.O. I,#ng»ton . M rtiiodiht Church. 1 VMtor. Prottchlna 2nd and 4th Sundays in >»< hmonth. Sunday-school W n. m. NV. A. Graham Supt. Ladies’ Prayer meeting I ues day nttcroaon. Young mens’ Prayer Prilyer meat* InKTucdny evening. Regular meet¬ ing Widnoday even’iig. Sunday-: PRKhllVTKUIAN Church. hcliool 9 ft. III. J. P. U. Rrown Supt, COUNTY COMMISSIONERS. j. F*. Puullin, R. D. Coleman, liigbio, J. F. Creel, A. L. Foster. J. N. County THKAtunKa, J. P. H. Brown Tax Collector, W. li. Harrison. Tax Bk«iiver, T. R. Davis. toRONKR, J 1) Owens. MASONIC DIRECTORY. Da in .k r liODtiK, No. n.—Rcpiliir moet- T. M brown, ing l»t. Riul 3rd F. S*turd*y Gunn, W. ovt M. iiiugs. Sue.* D. Lakay»Ttk Huturday OiiAi-ritR evening. No. 12— Rojenlm \S A. fiv ofln > -u i . UnthHiin If. P. W, A. dmhnnri Council, No. 22— Rogulnr m«'otin" 4th Sutuniay avnuing. W. A. Gin hum, T l G N. hveting K of II. 2nd Ottincft nnd 4th Lod-ro Tuwdny No. 1K87—Regular nfgl'ti* VV. F. Lightf<»ol, Reporter. T M llrown, Dictator COUNTY. SuritRioR Court.— lion. W -I T Mitlivc, ClarVo Judge clvik J H Guwrrv, nolicit<»r, J SI T Ale.\llii»ter, ftlioriff. Regular term, 4th MundayM in March and 8t-ptciwlior, Court or Oriukary.— It. T. Foote, Ordinary, oncfi Regular meeting 1st, Monday in month County Court—G. G. Lark, IRWIN & WARWICK, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. (HTWIU Practice la SupeUor Courts of I’alaul* Clreult. U J. T. MANDEVILLE, PHYSICIAN mill SURGEON »r Cuntrai. Drug Stohk. fk E. CONE, 1IAR1IER. Mu EIN DEU’S Pict tir« Giillcry. Central Railroad of Georgia. Sot ire to Trttrelinff Public: The boit ami cheflpost passenger route to NEW YORK and BOSTON ti n* Sftfunwfth nnd eltffpnt Steamers thence PrtSM.ig.rs before purchasing tickets via Other rotttr* would do well to inquire first of te* merit; of tAwfoufc tl iftNUi duet via Savannah, and tedioii- by hU-rail whu-h the} rid.. v Kates inekidt* meal and a stutc tuoi^-ou Round 8(MttMY. triji eHlf he dekeb p In red on sale June New York 1st. jf.x*d to return sails.Ipt-woeklv. until (*ct<)lw»r U<w:toi) ;llst. *lenmer» ttmmrr weekly from SnvnumYh. F. rfurther infunnation fttuilv Charlton, to »Uy Hg»*fit f*. 6f this tN»m- 1 'nny, or to F T. G. A. 8«vwi n»h, Gn. C. G. AXDtRsoN, Agt steamers. U'rr ISavannah, Ga. IT WILT. PAY YOU If y >u enetcmplate niftkirrij a trip iri Any point in ll»« North, South, East or Wo*t, tm%i wi*U U,e wish to tb on before Highly suirting, acquaint how youtself far routes is it! fn hut do*« it cost! etc. 1 TO WRITE TO ME. !• *»tt\k<tt «U rime* cheerfully fhrtiish fnn* bfefc*ro>*. Any information desiod. If you »n* Ur « ron-rftowh-nt, kindlv ftdvis** mo in nd ^vourdrpartUM ticketed andl and will soo that »*■ though all arrang,* w iiit'fii niKd« for tho checking of vour luut taetmion parties will bo visited if <it k r‘ U gga;!!ais ' wtijrH, fti H-rt-mfor »nv a«sistanc^ powible tlirir eomfoli and wrlfarix For tirkwt r«U*.«, map*, schcilulec, or nnv «nnnt: »». »*> n<*t h-wtati* to cotunumd me. > trouble b« ftcoomiuo<lktin«. i CLYDE BOSTICK, ■veTtoie IW.agor Agent, Centra! Rail of Georgia, Savannah, Ga. t TI>I and whiskey Habits 1st homo witbout pain. Book of L ^kOftloe ,r ' v n w#i S e WLii<i.:ul_ m, IU! - U,K,L Sir. 1-1 ' , f "^S V t *# • H "M. 2 1 • ■* *. . •. •>. -•£ / % & A IB . __ PSp •1 OX 1 n "» t a All YOUR HOME IS NOT FURNISHED WITHOUT ONE i SAVANNAH, Ga., Not. 1, 1888. Forty Thon*mnd Sdutlirm Home* mod* happy wllli line InMtruincuiN *lnco 1810, and mi til the good work gum on. , 8,000 rinnoM and (Irgniw sold lunt year. rt.lWM) our murk for till* y.-ur. I.owcr 1’rlcon $ 3.iwr liiKtrum<*ntH( Kanicr Tcrum and ere-itcr Indncciuenta will. «uln ns this in ertnxeri mile. TIiON-andn of Ilomcn yrt unmipplled with VantriimcnlM that nilubt to-day .In: ca)oytii8 them thronah oar tumy Myntcm ofsellinit. CASH to pay down not needed. We hare A PLAN by which, WITHOUT RISK, any oiiarnaohtainr.il Iiimriimrut of nay Stylo or Price, inakhut either ,'IONTH I, V, qUAKTKRI.V 11 or VF.AKLV PAYMENTS tint paid for, mean while enjoy tun use of lantruinent. No extortionate price-. No Rlait. No For fetftne of nil cash ,intd if Installment*) can hot b« promptly paid. Contract perfectly FAIR and KQITITARLE, i>roleetlna pure ebaflcrt from till Imposition or loan. Wriio »man,: we win point ant *he way i* get a tint* In»trnm«-nt Kqwlly anil at a I,ort Frlci-i Wonderful bargain- for Fall 1888. HettiT ih-in n-iy lit-fwro offered. Frier* Larg i-iy Itedinrd. tln-wo SUKt’IAL Ol-FIlts, Upright Piano oni* $200 StrltiK»—l{oHewood—Ful 7'a OctftYe*—Overstninj? Soalo—Thrco Guaranteed i y —Sweet Tone. Catalogue 1’rice. Sf.eo. P&rlOl n __-__„ 0r£g*iEl- _ -O n, . $65 • y Ctool.Ccvor, all Instructor, Paid. Music Book Olhrr SpecM and Freight OJer* jud nt good. Larged Rock fur cat<ili) iuc*,cii'cid<ir*, c2!l£*%£ K wSi : and IVee Copy of our nrw paper ‘Sharps and Flats," giving full and valuable RFMCMarn orn low pmcics. OUR F.ASY TERMS. ONE PRICE ONLY. 11ANUSOME OUTFITS. UKHT INSTRUMENTS. ALL FREIGHT PAID. MONK^AVK^iliA. I LUDDEM&BATES R1US1C HOUSE. SAVAHNAN, G5. CMAS. R. HERRON, JOHN J. G.IUDRY, Herron & Gaudry, (Success rs to L. J. Guilmftitioh & Co.) COT'] ON FACTORS, AND Comm is si on Merck an ts. 120 Raj* Street, - Savann ah, Georgia. I iboriil fulvanccs made on cotton consign- 4 c<l n> n-> for Hide. C’on^ignmenU ot cot¬ ton solicited, and strict uttenlion will lie t»iv on U» all business entrusted to us. 921(3 oi Buck loin’s Aral cnSalvo TiIK IlrisT Sai.vk In the world for Cuts, Bruises, Soros, Fleers, Salt Rheum. Fever Sores, Toil, r. skin Chapped Eruptions, Hands Chilblains, Corns nnd «I1 positively on ms Piles, or n> pay received, is guar¬ anteed to give perfect satisfaction, or money refunded. Price 25 cts. per box. For sale by W, M. Speight. #5 TO * 1 r> SAVED. Complete harness Why only .*rT. 25 cent Cfttalogue free. pay rt lnM prices t >Vo sell 8t>*» sett eiveh month. Agents wanted. Natiosai. Harxkss Co., Whoi.e sai.r .Man; ru-rcuaiis, 14 to2i Wells st., Buffalo, N. Y. Si 13 WEEKS. The POLICE GAZETTE will bo mailed. -.'Cun Ty wrapped to any address in tho Lusted 8tatos for hree months on receipt of ONK IMILLVR. Liborsl discount Sample allowed to post agent*; and clubs. copies mailed free. Address all orders to RRTIARDK. FOX. Franklin Square, N.Y. Job WORK. Have your No',r>, Letter and Rill Heads Statement.-', Kn I yelupos, Posters, Invitations,*clc. nriutcil ut W. I>. Graham's Job Ofiiee, Hnocoek street, Fort Gaines, Gu. 803 S(alD(.MarklntT ftlaSIUhl <fX To •< ««ce h traJ* in all pan*, natbinnj, b, f ■"t**rtocinR laT; not tb# le —-1 rood* kIkk p*«f> con ws them. w« will aend ri rte t© ono . _ , . fG.^V Al WF WWAfess&sss »hat w. .md. to tho« \ «&.ftaBBteg a*aefiasass — i 1 8sxsolidooia waicbpTxrip HKHH | mat J •li!!?ul I -b^Jh"Jrtogr°SirS^ "fc* »is« vS^ortkuili^MvMiP FORT GAINES, GA., FRIDAY, MARCH 8 th, 1889 . A Husband Who Had a Hsad for Business and a Shrewd Scn-in-Law. been The found champion Vermont. mean man has in A young lady went into a dentist’s office the other day to have her teeth exam¬ ined, tho doctor reported them badly dccnyr.d, but by quito an outlay of money ho could put them in good shape. Tho young lady departed saying sho would report to her husband and call again in a few days. She did so, and on her seeond cull was accompanied by her father, the latter telling the demist to go ahead with the job and he would pay tho bill. Think¬ ing that the dentist might wonder why ho was paying the bid, the father explained that tho husband had said his wife’s teeth were de¬ cayed before he married her, and he was not going to pay for fixing them up; her father ought to do it. Waltham Free I’res-: The mean¬ est man on earth has been discov¬ ered. Itjs a man who chnrgos hi. mother-in-law for carrying a quar¬ ter of a pound of tea from Waltham and who a'so put in a bill of fifty cents for services rendered in going after a physician while his mother in-law lay on her death bed. Lawrence American: A New Haven man has sued his uncle for attending the funeral of his (the uncle s) wife. This is “cheek” with a vengeance.—Burlington Hawk*, eyo. *»»i-- - Women as Inventors. According to a document rceent ly issued by the Commissioner of Patents, tho number ol patents is¬ sued to women since 1790 is 2.500. This is evidence of the fact that women ia well as men are capable of inventing and many of these patents also prove them to bo quite as practical and possessing equal skill. The first patent granted to a lady was that for straw weaving with silk or thread, and was issued “'Vfy f ?' V KilSi .'" h "" ev 180a %- - lh 1 For <,r ° "f» lh » 'oi} , few applications filed l . by 1 la dies, but during tllO last half cetl \ !»fy th ?y ,, » v ? i, ,clca8od »p * * 3* “08. Ol tllCSO 1 ])at Oil ts WOl’O, however, upon articles of feminine or household nature, hut still quite M produced impol .,. mt j n lhcir Mncs as tbose by a masculine genius. There wero several exceptions to this rule, as it is shown that im¬ provements in reaping and mowing mucl ««ne8, imp-ovod war vessels, furnace for smelting ores, and last but not least, burglar alarms for windows, cto., wero fair among the in¬ ventions of tho sex. There s *ems, howcTer, to bo ono thing lacking. In all these there is not the first sign of a now principle, and they wero invariably in the form of improvements. Wo do not, however, need to look at the pr.ient lists to satisfy ourselves ot horsolf, tho ability of woman to provide for or assist at the work which man has looked upon ^as beyond her powers and capabilities. We find them now in almost every vo¬ cation, and they are showing them Reives masters of the situation, it is, however, to bo regretted that in most cases they have been driven to it, not through choice, or be¬ cause they were dissatisfied with tlieii lot as womo’*, but by stern necessity, and too often through tho —N. duplicity Y. Mai! or depravity of man. and Express. ,o,« The Going and tits Coining. Comparisons arc sometimes odi¬ ous, but they aro often inevitable. Mr. Cleveland goes out, eouscious that ho was re-elected by the peo¬ ple. Mr, Harrison comes in as the fruit of a trade made by three noto¬ rious politicians. Piatt, Elkins and Blaine. Mr. Cleveland goes out reitera¬ ting his conv'ct ons to the Inst. Mr. Harris, n comes in manacled between his political creators. Mr. Cleveland goes out leaving clean robes of office behind him. Mr. Harrison comes in with a bafgam of office for patronago to fulfill fit the start. Mr. Cleveland goes out as lie came in, calling no man master. Mr. Harrison comes in with Mr. Blaine riding on his shoulders, yoked in between Platt and Elk¬ ins. Mr. Cleveland retires saying: “Had certain conditions been elim¬ inated wo would have won a de¬ cisive victory.” Mr. Harrisan comes in as the Presidential result of these condi¬ tions—bluff, boodle nnd bribery. “There’s more true joy Murcellus exiled tccls than Caesar with a Sen .>«.. i»» i.vo s . ^, 010 . _ The I gB&a&asaeri armor's Alliance of the ^ ts*»a $ 50 <K)0 T* » . Stfs - ’ * 10 object ol the Ex ch aR " c IR t0 P rov,Jo lf,e farmers with . everything (hat is necessary fv ’ r (beir sttcces-, but more cs^e cia! *- v i*»ey devote the l ‘ mo to roanufacturo of (ertili and ba #?g' n S* Wc ho P° that *' bis the farmers will be s«cces.-ful, and that they may yet overcome tho many trusts and com b ncs against them. ■ Mount Sinai Guano. The choapest and best fertilizer which has been advertised in the Clarion is the now celebrated Jum¬ bo Jewett guano The farmers say that it is tlie very thing. It is sold free to every man w ho will buy a wheelbarrow and a scoop- and get up carl}* fn the morning. Tho Clarion toda}* presents another guano whose merits will soon be known and appreciated. It has already been tried by all or most of the practical farmers, and tl.hu testimonial; would be presented but for the fact of thoir number. You can find u man in every neigh-, oorhood who has tried the Mt. Sinai formula and will cordially recommend it. It is adapted to both sandy and clay soils. It will do more to ron ovate old land than any other ter*, tilizor. It is good for porn, cotton oats, groundpeas, potatoes, The vege¬ tables and melons. man who uses it steadily nevor fails to mako a crop. Tiio Clarion challenges the record for a single instance. No farmer can make any money who doesn’t uso it. Not ohp has ever prospered w’ho didn’t use ihe formula under some namo or other. Its price is within the reach of all, cither for cash or on timo. The Clarion mnri, is frequently called on b)’ brother farmers for points about the various guanos. Now most conscientiously farmer we insist that ever}’ try tho Mt. Sinai this reason, and if a singlo failure is re¬ ported at this offico or to the agents of the fertilizer, the Clarion wll give a year’s subscription. The elements arc so ready at hand that every man can manufacture it for himself at little or no expense. Tho Mt. Sinai formula is this: Keep out of town on Saturdays. Or if you have to go, get your mail (with the Clarion in it, of course) and then get back homo as soon as possiblo. Gei your wagon and art, shovel and hoe and haul rich dirt or anything that *will ro* on some part of your land. If there is plowing to be done, of course you will not stop your teams to come to town just to pay your sub¬ scription to the Clarion, to buy a plug of tobacco or some other little ihing which your neighbor or your little boy could bring you. Bettor iinvo j oar teams hauling pine straw' to be dumped on thin land than have them tied up to a “town boss rack.” Tho pine straw and fence corner dirt will do some good, but idle timo in town will do your farm much harm. Saturday work is tho thing need¬ ed on every farm. It is the Mt. Sinai guano—so called, because the Almighty, through Moses on Sinai, gave us the* bommand, *‘Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work.” lie didn t say six days may est thou labor, but six days shalt thou labor. Tho law of God doesn’t say five days shalt thou labor and go to town on the sixth. It is the irrevocable and beneficent law of creation thundered on Sinai. It is a law of natiiro to work six da} 3 and. brother farmers, j’ou can’t break the laws of nature with¬ out judgment bringing down on your head of nature’s God. And the penalty is not reserved,“like tho penalty for many sins, for (he future xvoild. Tho penalties for breaches of nature’s law are inva¬ riably inflicted in ibis life. Merchants, lawyers, doctors, me¬ chanics, bankers, railroad mon and others work all six days of the week aud prosper. Hush up about there being no money in farming if you throw away even a good part of your Saturdays. There would bo no money to yen in anything with that habit. Now then let us farm on the Mt. Sinai plan. Work six days as Mo¬ ses told you and work vigorously, so as to do all that can bo done. Kcst on the seventh day and let it be rest. Thai’s God’s law too. And let your land rest every sev enth year. t Oar* God made this earth and ho knows what ought to be done with it. Were half the breath thus vainly spent in idleness on Saturdays de¬ voted to work, this country would prosper. The writer doesn’t know a single farmer who has made money feeding m days’ iles for five or and a half woric. He doesn’t know a laborer that has ac¬ cumulated money who quits work regularly on Saturday. The dray¬ men, porters, barbers and regular afrm hands make something. Their work goes on all the week. But show us a single instance where one one of these fellows who inva¬ riably insist on “Knocking off on Sadd} ’ isn’t yet as poor as Jobs turkey. The Almighty's law is absolute. He made man and made his law for man’s good. It is a sin to work on Sunday. It is a sin not to work on Saturday.—Camilla Clarion. "* L , tfa likely, it Santa Cruz gets a new jail, “the present practice of the prisoners eiimbing and going down town to find the sheriff when they wft nt h!m probably be discon ITnued.” ----—-- According to a statistic document SOO.OuO lately pird bund jhed in Pa 1 s, theretic ceot O ft CO 'whom ate in France. < .. A Subject For Judge Lynch. i.Gity A Supt. Reading. Pa , telegram Bays: of Schools Balliet was informed a few days ago of a pupil who has just entered the public schools here who shows a jemarka Me mania for torturing persons and animals with fire. His nariio is Rueben Briner age 7 years a schol ar in ono of tho 9th ward schools. The teacher can do nothing with him and is compelled to keep him sealed on tho platform near her desk,where he once tried to set her dress on fire,nutil recently he resi ded with Lis parents in P’niladel phia.There while his parents were absent he ilia piece of paper at tho stove and deliberately set fire to the clothes of his little brother, age 18 months limbs were burnt to a crisp until lie died.while ihoyong fiend enjoyed it and gleefully told his parents what ho had done. He was penned in the gariet and was kept on bread and water for a month, after which ho was sent to Reading, as he expressed un inten¬ tion to cut his two brothers’ throats with a butchcr-knife. He continually wants to sot things on fire in school, and lias several times bocnjdoetoctod just in timo to prevent the dcsti Uctisn of buildings. While his gandmother, with whom he is now living, was away from home, ho caught she largo house cat. placed her on the red-hot stove and rousted her to death. Such in¬ human acts^of cruelty innumerable huvo been reported of him.—Lx. A Beautiful Definition. A dear child callc'* Mary Cooper nad read her allotted piece with such appropriate emphasis and such sympathy of expression that tho in spector said to her in his kind sin¬ cere manner :That was realy beau i'iuI my child! And now,” he added, “if you can tell mo tho mea¬ ning of that word ‘turf 1 shall give you my very host mark. “ Mean¬ ings of words are mou’ams of diffi¬ culty to some children and the ioai’S almost started to Mary’s eyes because shb realized that tho in¬ spector had chanced to drop on a word whoso moaning sho had not lately studied. Pom* child ! I won¬ der how often sho had frolicked over nature’s emerald carpeting? Possibly never I But Mary had olenty of determination; sho felt that her very life almost depended on giving an answer ; and sho cx c ciscd her littlo brain to the ut¬ most for some kind of a definition : and. just as tho inspector was say¬ ing: “Well, never mind, child, I will pass on,” sho eagerly exclaim¬ ed : “Turf, sir; is grass and clean dirt, stuck together by God.” “A most excellent definition,’' said the inspector; “in fact, ihe answer l looked for was not nearly so pre¬ cise as that. You have gained ,my highest mark.—Longman’s Maga¬ zine. Relations of Outs and Ins. “Young America” wants to.know if tho retiring members of the Cab¬ inet remain in Washington any time after the inauguration to show the new Cabinet officers the run of. business. Oh, always, always. Jess or not quito so much, That is. is what is known in diplomatic cir¬ cles as corps d’esprit or interreg¬ num comity. The retiring Sec¬ retary of Slate teaches the new one how to apply the Great Seal of North Carolina without lotting it rnn down the side of tho bottle; the Secxetary of the Treasury shows the new*man the trick of the bell punch, and how to make change so fast that the customer can’t count it: © "I o Navy, re¬ living, helps Sir © CO sr porter to shiver his timbers and spike the main brace,) and for two weeks after hi3 timo is up toe cx-Postmaster General stand’s oulsido the post-offieo window and holds out hia tongue for tho people to lick stamps on. Oh, yes ; every¬ thing is very pleasantly and help¬ fully arranged between the setting aud the rising suns.—Bob Burdette. Eis Last Drunk. A party of half a dozen gentle men were sitting in Colonel Ma gruder’s comfortable office at the ££ “-d “..K1& .heTist^ of Home a few years ago. The name of Louis Graves was Lien tioned, when one of the company, well known as a teetotaler, said: “Gentlemen, I am satisfied that that man was the cause of my being a sober man today. You all know that when I worked for ——- I got good wages; and you know. too, that 1 didn’t save much money, Well, tho reason was that I made large bilis in Graves’ saloon every month, and I paid them promptly, Xnnd off, and stot stepped y J hf.rt into pay b v e n" my paiJ ac count li was $d<.UU,. and after paying the bill and getting my re ceipt I was. stirring sugar and water in a glass, preparing to take a drink, as Louis always “set'em ep " when a feUow paid h„ aceoont. While sUrrjjjg the sugar and I began thinking and becams so absorbed l Ihe >orgot to drink, Noticing this asked said: me was Vho i Graves, 1 was thinking that I had just paid you enough mono}’ to buy a good suit of clothes, and I've at good mind to quit drii king.’ Quick as a flash, and with a single sweep of tho hand, ho dashed tho glass from me, and walking from behind his counter, laid his hand upon m) shoulder and said: ‘My young friend, you are right.’ Then taking m 3 * arm, he walked out to a cloth* mg store, where he ordorod for me a fine suit of clothes, telling tin salesman to send him tho bill. From that day until this I have been a sober man, and-with all his faults 1 think kindly ct Louis Graves.—Borne Herald. ••• The Thoughts of Youth Are Long,, Long Thoughts. “It’s papa’s birthday next week, Johnny,” ought remarked mamma* “and you to bo thinking of giving him “Yttirp,” a present.” said Johnny. “You hadn’t forgotten it, had you?' “Then “ Yop.” hadn’t anything you him?” thought ol “Nawp.” to givo “Lot’s sec* You’ve saved up $ 2 . haven’t you?’’ “Then “Ytip. ’ don’t you think it would be a good thing to give him a real nice, new pair of slippers?” “VVhap?” “A nice new pair of slippers, with rod moroico—” “Nawp!” said Johnny, with sol¬ emn emphasis; “what's tho matter with giving my money to the heathen?”—Puck. .axe¬ ls Mariiage a Failure. It is when a man goes homo find finds no supper, the fire out and his vvife out, too. lt is when a man promises to take his wife to tho theater, And changes his mind after sho is dressi'd. It is when a woman has to wait up till 2 o’clock every morning for a di unken husband to come homo. It is when a man buys fino Cuba cigars for himself instead of pretty things for his wife. It is when a wife insists on hav ing hot* mother live in tho bouse with her. It is when a wife buys a bonnet more expensive than she can afford and has the bill sent to her bus hand. It is when a man nnd wife do not pull together as they ought to.— Toledo Blade. --------- Fat Produced by ('iquids. ' Liquids make fat. There is no doubt of this in my mind though 1 am fully cognizant of tho (act that a good many people will deny it, hut the practic of drinking invarily leads to^unwieldly bulk. In Spain, where men drink little a fat man is unknown. In Paris,whero the mon content themselves with sipping thimhleslesful of absinthe or small cups of black coffee,tho French are thin to a* remarkable degree. The women, on the other hand, drink great quantities arid of champagne, Bur¬ gundy, latterly beer, and they aro as a result prone to stoutness. In England men drink ale and beer and they aro a thick* necked, pudgey and heavy raced as a rule. I had observed all this many times and when 1 wsnt to Germany, where I knew that consumytion of beer was very great l had prepared to find fat men in abundanco. 1 was not disappointed. There would seem to be absolutely no end of big. corpulent and unwieldy men in Gormany. While they aro in tho army they arc slim and splendid looking tiicy warriors, but two months attcr leave the ranks they be come heavy, puffy and beefy to the last degree. This is even so in the ranks among tho other soldiers, and cavalry were men of such ex¬ traordinary weight that thoy al¬ ways excited comment from stran¬ gers.—Philadelphia Times. -— -- m ^ - The Trials of Women. T wo sensible-looking Sixth } r oung wo men got on a avenue elevated train the other day at Twonly Lccn third street; ^hey had evidently shopping, for their arms were hices ^ro They dropped into one of the cross wi(h a long-dra'wn sigh, while one of them said in dieary tones, “Oh, I’m so tired.” “So am I, ’ said tho other, “I am too tired to talk.” Then they started iq with a wild rash' to tell how tired they were, One of them had not been so tired since Louise had got her wedding outfit. That was- terrible. They used to walk every shop day until It got dark, and shop and until they fT ^ T <!; c ST’ f* T like shopping. Shedid notseo the need cf it anyway. Men never did any shopping. “Ob, men!” broke in her compan ion disdainfully. “They aro so un* feeling, always making fan' of ut for wanted Min* shopping dq They Just as if we to it. woo t be liev^tbafVe bate it. I don’t ses wby we stupid, tolerate men. They are awfully The" aren't ihey. di rifled looking r ■ NO. 32 . <al easily directly behind ,th?m m^vod nrv* in liis sent. Somelhi r. **• lik* i shadow of disgust cuimi > ms taco. “Oh,” one of tho pair xrnttlod on, 4 * they are simpl}*unbearable. Men, don’t know how to talk to wo moo, f one could be found who knew something about bonnets.” - ‘ This must ho Park Place,” said the other after the fcuardjind c Hod disunctlyi “Blocker street! Block L>1 ’ ^ hey both jumped up hur i c lj And started for ..tho door, together, are after so stupid,” they sighed seats. going buck to tboir “it’s getting verv dark,” said (li* ono "ho had helped buy the trous <cnu, I don looking out tho Window,, . , other. t “I’m caro it is,” answered (j'h she: not afraid.” Then looked out of tho,window and saiJ in rather awed tonos: “It's get ting “I dark, isn’t it ?” > ter I have off to walk four ijlocRs ?h got my ear in Brooklyn,' her compaion announced, nervous* ly. blabl{ “It will bo then.” / “I told you wo wore Into.” t to * A *^, s e8 to ’ look Y°P at that would bonnet. go tirouti “I didn’t want to g°* I..- onG*i suggestoc. . it . to you and you said wo had lots of time.” z O, you begged irb to po.” Tho Why, Annio look of stately man got up with misery in his face and wont 1 farthest corner of tho car., . in tho vs looked dagy gors di ion of tho two young “Look women. at that (tinny mnb in tiic end of the car,” said Annie. • “Niv don’t Now look look, now; I m afraid he sa# mo. his hoad is turned *way. Did you evor soo such ft looking object?” A man who had got in at $ranit lin street hud taken tho seat bo¬ hind him. llo began to look woa*. ry of life, “It’s pitch black,” said one* lering. “Don’t you feol afriiid? Oh,' i I forgot to toll yon about Belle, am Brown. suro I she’s told engaged her t<> Fre<! ho liad asked mo to go to prayer-meeting with him yosterday, and abo looked td lions.” ^ said Annie, in a loud whisper. “There’s a man right be*, hind us. I didn't know ho Waft thsro. 1 am sure ho has hoard ev ery woid wo said.” They both giggled and tho man’n face took on a stony glaro. Tho ono wicked who look had left tho seat cast it of triumph at him from the cornel*. , ; “What are you laughing at?” “I’m not laughing; it's you. “l know he hoard.' ' More gig- it ,ine The guard throw open tho door and Park cried Place. cut loudly: The Park Piacej hfivk|r young women ing were tho now A race in doscrib-/ Mrs. gownsOTiey Srnitn’a wero to wear, at reception. Tho train pulled up tvith a jerk, but they chattered away,, “Park Placo. cried tho guard impaiionlly, “Park ria-eo. This is your station ladies They grabbed their parcels and started for tho door in confusion;,, As the gfiard slamfined tho gate* behind tb,em one of thorn said: v “These guards aro so stupid.” , “Yes, its iAn fill dark, toq,” , was her answer.—Now York Tribune. ilr “7r~7 ■“* T——: ,s -T evidently ' ? n # r 3 r > uppeara he truth,ih6 follow, ! n ^ cn l“» prints iri the AL ' an J News: “WiiqpVer poisoned* rn - il ? low-dov/n ..puppy, anu mean satisfied Gn 2 U \' that ; l0 it . ^.° an while J’Jb ,u S* * am is a .man ; an j ^ standing ^.°.f in this town, K an< 'P )0 ,/ ou n ^ am 0 r . ,n ono > wa Jv on , , a, . ‘ ' b whi .., o aslepp. I popb whoever ho rna J ”° “6 rqpds tpis he wil’ • sto Pi a ? ^ ,0 called a puppf and i« not : *Tl a, J ? n ? u &h to resent it.' I am satisfied it is a white man, as no negro could get so much poison from tho druggist without sumo notice being taken of it. I am re¬ sponsible for every whip word in this, card, and can , the man that ‘poisoned my dog. No man will resent an insult (hat/will Steal, lie, burn houses, and slip .ground 'ct night and poison a man’s dog.—Ex xhe Texas Encampment, __ ; ** * ^ustatednllatidriitiOMi b< } held m Galveston anting encampment,to the suuii ^ntcnnial exhibition from June 4 to iJune 15, lias set aside $15,000 iii j me*. The prizes for the interstate infantry drilf. oj^cn to all volunteer companies in the, ^United States, aggregate the *^90. The first prize is $3,000, second $1,000, and the third $500. The companies compete are to consist of six lours. The prizes for the State troops are the largest (or lexas y et o^red infantry at compau^esgS.JO^aud, any drill, aggregating . ■& WtoUi3n, !S?Eli£&& are offere< , for artilcry Htute/anrl in terstatedrills, btate and inter state drills, iuterstat’a gatH^ gun detachments, Stole and cavalry and zouaves, * ’op?* 1 to all companies besides a number of individual_priix-s £^«e°*Ufa!d for soldiers and STisrgiTpri^e .South. Bv the the contestiMfl iu thl, terms touJLiUk,^^M of Light Guards of Hoii» in c i