Newspaper Page Text
SMILK8.
W things don’t come your way, why
go round and head them off.— Galves¬
ton News.
Went down with his colors flying_
the painter when his stagging broke.—
/Atwell Courier.
w® will have Cela mM ried)—“Maria,
dinner. as a second course
’ Maria—“How much ought I
to got. ma’am?” Mrs. Hale-“I think
twelve yards will bo sufficient.”—
» ogue.
A boy never saw all of a circus; he
firmly there, bellovos that only half of it is
the half that it is on tho bills
Doing Globe. in some other town .—Atchison
While tho rest of us have occasional
streaks of bad luck, it is tlio horseman
^bo neglects his harness who really
knows what hard lines arc .—Buffalo
Courier.
called Lawyer—“It is truo that my cliont
the plaintiff an ox, but consid¬
do ering tho present high prico of beef I
not consider that a very great in¬
sult, — Flicgesn dc, Jltaetier.'
*.........— -.....- .................. ..... -■
Half a Century.
One at fifty don’t feel old, yet. he
has had considerable exporicnco. Ac¬
cording has lived to a statistician, a man who
a half century has slept 6,000
days has worked only 6,500, 1ms
sjKJut in amusement 4,000. His diet
lias embraced about oight tons of meat
and two tons of fish, eggs and vegeta¬
bles, und he has drunk over 7,000 gal¬
lons of fluid. Ho has been ill about
600 <lays, which is surprising consid¬
ering above gluttony, and lmn walked
R distance equal to half around tho
globo.
The Money-Maker.
The Lest money-maker on tho farm
is the hen. She turns grass int i green
hooks, grain into gold, and from the
sand and gravel sho coins silver.
There is nothing else on tlio farm to
compare witii her. The horses nrnl
cattle are heavy consumers, and to get
their value we must part with them ;
hut not so with tho hen. In her small
way she is a gold mine on tho face of
the earth; a mill tlmt grinds that
which others overlook or refuse.—
Farmers' Review.
lly Violence
Little Is accomplished l» tills civilized era,
but with the gentle laxative, lies tetter’s
Stomach Bitters, tho howels are relieved with¬
out abruptness or subsequent weakening.
Dm*- V *ia, malaria, rheumatism, weakness
curative, and kidney trouble ji. ld to this reliable
toremost a'so amona lnvtgornnts
and. rued ltd recommended nr a fair trial by anti physician'', convinced. Give this
no
You are mistreating your friend whon you
trout |,Jm vvtt li whl k< y.
Hr. KUmer's Hwamc-Root cures
all Pamphlet Klduoy and Consultation Bladder (roubles.
and free,
laboratory Binghamton, N. Y.
An ounce of put off will cause a ton of re*
isn't.
“A 1‘rnetlenl Age”
I- a lit epithet for the present age. "Of what
u«e Is ft r” and ‘‘How soon will I got nty money
• ml of it?" aru questions always asked before
leaking hii Invest meet of nny kind. Bright,
intomgiMtt young ladies no longer spend their
Um« in Requiring useless accomplishments,
l’urents * bo wish to render their children
independent, eannnt do a wiser thing than
Kive them a course In shorthand and type¬
pleasant writing. For young Indies ll Is a genteel and
work, and for'yonng men It is often
t lie stepping stone to a higher business posi
th>n. l or terms, etc., in t he best, most thor
\ n *» complete school in tlio Mouth, write
Miss McNutt's School of Stenography .V
,U B big., is.writing, IN 137 and 133 8. B. & h. Assn.
all St., Knoxville, Toon.
Throw Physic to the l»ogs.
So Shahc-pcnre said, ami it Is tim best of
g<sid advice for those suffering with tetter,
ringworm, ri/rma, diseases. still rheum and other
parasitic -kin I’hy-ie never cured
them and never will. Most h!oo<l medicines
are with merely sealey cat hurtles haven’t anything to tin
skin eruptions. Tetterlne is tho
mil) absolutely sure cure. Druggists sell it,
no <ents a box, or by mail on receipt of price by
J. T. SlIUPTHINB,
Savannah, Ua
Attention, Tourist.
Tlie most pleasant and cheapest way to
rearli Boston, New York, am! the East Is via
t entral Huilroml and Ocean Steamship Com¬
pany. |24 The tale Is inclml for tit o round trip,
00 stmight. Tickets o meals and
stateroom. Tables supplied with all the deli*
caries of tlio season. .....In For in forma' ion call on
or address ., any agent of Central R. ll.
Who Are They t
No medical remedy ever put before the peo¬
ple has received an endorsement so universal
and enthusin tie among the thousands who
have used It as that which has been given to
Dr King's Royal Oormetuer. Both as to
character and number these statements are
without a parallel in t he history of medicines,
an I they prove beyond question that this great
remedy does what is claimed for it.
Karl's Clover Ro >t, the great b’ood purifier,
give* rroettnesH and clearness to the complex
ton and cures constipation, 23 ets., 50 cts., $1.
Seaboard Air l.lnr.
Short Line to Norfolk and Old Point, Com
fort, \ a. Tit rough sleeper on ventibuled train
between Atlanta ami Nv’ashington. Also bo
tween Augusta and Portsmouth, Vo.
Ilnll’a Catarrh Cure
la a Constitutional Cure. Price 73c.
If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thomp¬
son's Eye-water. Druggists sell at 25e per bottle.
Yes, money talks, >>ut It Is very short in its
way Just now.
Impure Blood
Maolfcets Itself in hot weather in hives, pim¬
ple*, bolls and other eruptions which disfig¬
ure the face and cause great annoyance. The
euro ts found in Hood's Sarsaparilla which
|-|ood’s Sarsa¬ parilla
and disfigurations. makes removes the blood all It pure such also r*ures
give* strength, creates
a» appetite and invigorates the whole ays
t***_ Get Hood’s.
Hood's Pills are prompt and efficient
MIEDICAL DEPARTMENT.
Tula no University of Louisiana.
xapk _ Iuad*xn«»g— Ixhurxiud nod for v*r*e «bo r <-»t instruction, hospital both in
* r <xnt maf-rial*
•J* fti>' accrri i« atron to the araat
Qartl IIcapital with Tee bad* and tuouu patients an
«m*S y. Special n«truction The ia given dat y at Tit* nri>
*»D»orrtiK air*. next te—ion begt ta Oct her
IS»h, ItW. F *t cata!o*u > and Information addrwes
Prof. S. K. CHA1LLK, M. D., Dean.
HTP. O. Drawer Ml. NEW ORLEANS, LA.
Opium home habit cured at
‘No without pain.
Remedy cure, *hi n a pay.”
c to
any end place in the world
by mail particulars fico
Addr’sconfiden¬ on npnlica
t on.
tially, l hire Co..Lock Acute Opium Box 15,
Decatur, Ua.
bt/din/J
*X»T*C. rtAMANMIir. Sllom HAND. TtrXWXITIKO.ee,,
«»». L*W t . iKtvxn Ally UMiftlt b* t»Jf -If. rUntf-t ttA.hwrV of Rome. COMMISCIAI. You rtUl
prominent Attorney* t Attending
»•« turnon, time. . WM An i tAiltoA.I fAte y tltis
Mow’ bcAlthful kxAttuQ in the South.
J.C. HARM ISON. President. ROM R. CA.
CDCC EL I catalog, giving
■* ■ • w EL ■xai »•» ■ ’ a of theHf ^ o|«nt t tptia and .
beat IRON VINCE made Cor oometoy
ua J- w; Rice. Atlanta, ca.
REV. DR. TAIMAGK
THE BROOKLYN DIVINE'S 8UN
.. DAY jSERMONe
Subjeot: “Laughter**
i : T £? n wafi 0Qr mouth filled with
laughter ,. "—ftaim , cxxvl., 2. “He that sit
the hoavens 8hal1 laugh.’’—Psalm
4 . .
referenoe dom tho Bible mak«
to this configuration of the fea
qu J ck e *P ul *lon of breath which
tT! n , . ^ hter Sometimes It is born
and J of
Homwmes ... it sometimes the midnight.
and stirs the sympathy of angels
sometimes the oaohlnnatlon of devils.
All healthy people laugh. Whether It
pieaaes tho Lord or displeases Him, that de
pends upon tkeme when to-day we laugh is the and laughter at what we
the nili Bible—namely, Sarah's of
skepticism David’s laugh, laugh, or that of
unl exultation ; or that of spirit
fin il s the fool’s laugh, or that oi
infinite nierrlrnent; condemnation; God's laugh, or that of
that of eternal heaven’s laugh, or
orie triumph.
Abraham and ?tal Sarah, tent. perhaps The occupants, wrinkled
and decrepit. Their three guests are three
angels the Lord Almighty one of them. In
people ^“ r . n l*? God r promises hospitality Rnrnh shown that by she the shall old
become the ancestroas of tho Lor i Jesus
Christ. Sarah laughs in the face of God.
She does not believe it. Sho is affrighted at
what she has done. She denies it. She
says, “I did not laugh.” Then God retorted
with an emphasis that silenced all dlsnuta
K b0 u dl(lst ,au * b -" My frion Is,
t io laugh of skepticism s In ail agos is only
the echo of Sarah’s laughter. God says Ho
will accomplish a thing, and men say it can
not tio dono. A great multitude laugh at the
miracles. They say they aro contrury to the
?, aturo - w hat a law of nature?
It is God s way of doing a thing. You or¬
dinarily cross a river at one ferry. To-mor¬
row you another change for one day, and you go
across ferry. You made the rule.
Have you not tho.right to change it? You
ordinarily come in at that door of the church.
Suppose that next Sabbath you como in at
tho other door. It is a habit you have. Have
you not a right fo change your habit? A
T of .!M' t,,ro ,8 «od’s lmbit-His way of
doing , things. If Ho makes law. has
tho Ho
toohangeit?°* Alas! iaDse 11 atany timo 110 wants
for tlio folly of those who laugh at
God when He says, “I will do a thing.’’
they responding. “You can’t doit.” God
snys that the Biblo la true—It la all (rue.
Bishop laughs, Oolenso laughs, Herbert fiponcer
Stuart Mill laughs, great German
unlvorsltios laugh, Harvard laughs—softly.
many of the learned Institutions,
with long rows of professors seated on tho
fence between Christianity and infldolity.
laugh softly. They say, “Wo didn’t laugh.’ 1
That Was Sarah’s trick. God thunders from
the hoavons. “But thou didst laugh !” The
garden of Eden was only a fable. Thore
never was any ark built, or If It was built It
was too small to have two of every kind.
1 ho pillar of fire by night was only the
northern lights, the ten plagues of Egypt
only a brilliant specimen or juggler)’. The
sea parted because the wind blew violently a
groat while from ono direction. The sun
and moon did not put themselves out of the
way for Joshua. Jacob's ladder was only
horizontal and picturesque clouds. The de¬
stroying angel smiting the firstborn In
Egypt was only cholera Infantum become
epidemic. positive Tbo gullet of the whale, by
prophet. measurement, Tho too small to swallow
story of the immaculate
conception larno, a shook to all deoency. The
the dumb, the blind, the halt, cured
bv mere human surgery. The resurrection
of Christ s friend only a beautiful tableau,
Christ and Lazarus and Mary and Martha
acting Ihoir parts woli. My friends, there
is not a doctrine or statement of God’s holy
word that has not boon derided by the
skepticism I of the day.
take up this book of King James’s trans¬
lation. 1 1 consider it a perfoot Bible, but
hero are skopttes who want it tofn to pieces.
And now, with this Bible in my band, let
mo tear out all thoso portions which the
skepticism of this day demands shall bo torn
out. What shnil go first? “Well,” says some
one In the audience, “take out nil that about
tho oroation and about tho first settlement
of tlio world." Awny goes Genesis. “Now,”
savs some ono, “take out ail that about tho
miraculous guidanoo of the ohildron of Israel
th0 wllll e r h 08 s.” Away goes Exodus.
Now, „ save some ono else in the audience,
“there aro things in Deuteronomy ana
Kings Deuteronomy that are not fit to be read,” Awny go
and tho Kings. “Now,” says
some one, “tho book of Job is a fable that
ought to como out.” Avrny goes tho book of
Job, “Now,” says some one, “those pass¬
ages in tho Now Testament which Imply the
divinity Away of Jesus Christ ought to come out ”
go the Evangelists. “Now,” says
some one, “tho book of Revolution—how
preposterous! It represents a man with the
moon under his feet and a sharp sword In
his hand.” Away goes the book of Revela¬
tion. Now there are a few pieces left. What
shall wo do with them? “Oh," says sjme
man In tho audlenoe, “I don’t believe a
word in tho Bible from one end to the oth¬
er,” Woll, it is all gone. Now you have
put is out the lost light for tho nations. Now
It the pitch darkness of eternal midnight.
How do you like it?
But I think, my friends, wo had better
keep the Bible a little longer intact. It has
done pretty woll for a good many years.
Then there are old people who find it a com¬
fort fo have it on their laps, and children
like the storios in it. Lot us keep it for n
thrown curiosity anyhow. It tho Bible is to bo
out of tho school and out of tho
and courtroom, It Is so that men no more swear by it
to be put In a dark corridor of the
oity library, the Koran on one side and tho
writings of Confucius on the other, then let
us each ono keep a copy for himself, for we
might have trouble, and we would want to
be under the delusions of its consolations
And we might die, and we would want the
uejuslon of tho exalted residence of God’s
right awful hand, which it mentions. Oh, what an
hurl thing it is to laugh in God’s face and
His Revelation back at Him! Aiter
awhile the day will come when they will say
they critielsms, did not laugh. Then all the hypar
all the caricatures and all tho
learned sneers in the quarterly reviews will
be brought to judgment, *
lag flaming of everything beneath and <s the
of everything above God will thun¬
der, “But thou didst laugh!” I think the
most fascinating laughter at Christianity I
ever remember was a man In New England.
He made the word of God seem ridiculous,
and he laughed on at our holy religion until
he came to die, and then he said : “My life
has been a failure—a failure domestically.
I have no children. A failure socially, for I
am treated in the streets like a pirate. A
failure professionally because I know but one
minister that has adopted my sentiments.”
For a quarter of a century he laughed at
been Christianity, and ever since Christianity has
thin laughing at him. Now. it is a mean
ig to go Into a man’s house and steal his
goo ds, but I invented tell you the most gigantic bur¬
glary ever is the proposition to
steal-these treasurers of our holy religion.
The meanest laughter ever uttered is the
laugh of the skeptic.
The next laughter mentioned in the Bible
la David’s laughter, or the expression of
spiritual with exultation. laughter.” "“Then was our mouth
filled He got very much
down sometimes, but there are other chap¬
ters where for four or five times he calls upon
the people to praise and exult. It was not a
tion mere that twitch took of hold the lips—it whole was a physical demonstra¬
ot bis na¬
ture. “Then was our mouth filled with
laughter.” My friends, God this world will nevei
be converted to until Christians cry less
and laugh and sing more. The horrors are
a poor bait. If people are to be persuadac
to fhey adopt our holy religion, it will be becaus*
have made up their minds it is a bappj
religion. Thev don’t like a morbid Chris¬
tianity. I know there are morbid people who
enjoy a funeral. They como early to seethe
friends take leave of the corpse, and they steal
a ride to the cemetery, but all healthy people
enjoy Now, a wedding better than they do aburtal.
you make the religion of Christ
sepulchral and hearselike, and you
make It repulsive. I say plant the rose ol
Sharon along the church walks_„ond
columbine to clamber over the ehnrch wall,
and have a smile on the lip, and have tht
mouth filled with holy laughter. There It
no man in the world, except the Christian,
that has a right to feel an untrammeled glee^
He Is promised everything is to be for the
brat here, and he is on the way to a delight
which branches will and take all all the the orchestras processions harped wtth palm and
cy rthaled and trumpeted to express. “Oh,"
you say. “I have so much trouble.” Have
lillis p n on t he rack. He replied : Wnen
I was first pat on the rock, I suffered a gr«at
deal, but very soon a yonng man in white
stood by my side, and with a soft and com
fortable handkerchief he wiped the sweat
from my brow, and my pains were relieved,
It was a punishment for me to get from tho
rack, because when the pain was nil gone
the angel was gone.” Oh. rejoice evermore!
You know how it is in the army—an army iu
encampment. If to-day news comes that
our side htw had a defeat, and to-morrow
another portion of tfte tidings comes, say
iflg we have bad another defeat, it demoral
izes all the host. But if the news comes of
victory whole to-day and victory to-morrow tho
army is Impassion^ for the contest.
Now, in the kingdom of our Lord Jesus
Christ report fewer defeats tells us the vie
tories—victory Rejoice over sin and death and hell. i
evermore, and again I say rejoice,
believe thore is more religion iu a laugh
than in a groan. Anybody can groan, but
to laugh in the midst of banishment’ and
persecution and indescribable trial, that re
quirod a David, a Daniel, a Paul, a modern
heroine.
The next laughter mentioned in the Bible
that I shall speak of is the fool’s laughter, or
the expression of sinful morriment. Solomon
was very quick at simile. NVhon he makes a
comparison, we all catch it. What is the
laughter of a fool like? He says. “It is the
crackling of thorns under a pot.” The kot
tie is swung, a bunch of brambles is put «n
der it, and the torch is applied to it and
thero is a great noise, and a big blaze, and a
sputter it is darker and than a quick extinguishment.’ Then
it was before. Fool’s lau is di
ter. The most miserable thing on earth a
bad man’s fun. Thero they are—ten men in
a barroom. They have at home wives
mothers, daughters. The impure jest starts
at one corner of the barroom, and crackle
oraokle, crackle It goes all around. In 500
such guffaws there is not one item of happl
ness. They all feel bemoaned if they have
any conscieneo loft. Have nothing to do
with men or women who tell immoral stories,
I have no confidence either in their Chris
tlan character or their morality.
Bo all merriment that springs out of the
defects of others—caricature of a lame foot
or a ourved spine, or a blind eye, or a deal
ear-will be met with the judgment of God.
elthor upon you or upon your chlldron
Twenty years ago I knew a man who was
particularly of skillful ia imitating the lame
ness a neighbor. Not long ago a son of
the skillful mimic had his log amputated for
tho very defect which his father had
mimicked years before. I do not say it was ;
a judgment of God. I leave you to make
your own Inference. So all merriment born
of dissipation, that which starts at tho the]
countor of the drinking restaurant or
Wineglass in the home circle, the maudlin i
simper, the meaningless Joke, the saturnalinn
gibberish, the paroxysm ot mirth about noth
ing which you sometimes see in tho fashion
ablo clubroom or the exquisite «n.Uiin» parlor J at !
twelve o'clock a^oL^Such^ughter^nd^uch nt nii?ht »rn rh fl
thorns under
sin end In death. When I was a lad, a book
came Sermons.” out entitled, It “Dow Junior’s Patent
made a great stir, a very wide
laugh, It all over the country, that book did.
was a oaricature of the Christian ministry
and of the word of God, and of the day of
judgmont. Oh, we the had a great laugh ! The
commentary on whole thing is that the
author of that book died in poverty, shame,
debauchery, kicked out of society and cursed
of Almighty God. Tho laughter of such
men is the eoho ot their own damnation.
Tho noxt laughtor that I shall mention as
being in the Bible is the laugh of God’s con
demnation, “He that sitteth in the heavens
shall laugh." Again. “Tho Lord will laugh
at him.” Again, “I will laugh at his ctilutu
ity.” With suoh demonstration will God
greet every kind of great sin and wicked
ness. But men build up villainies higher
and higher. Good men almost pity God be
cause He is so schemed against by mon.
Suddenly a pin drops out of tho machinery
of wickedness or a secret is revealed, and
tho foundation begins to rock. Finally the
whole thing is demolished. What is tho
matter? I will tell you what the matter is.
That crash of ruin Is only the reverberation
of God’s daughter. In the money market
there are a great many good men tmd a
great many fraudulent mon. A fraudulent
man there says, “I mean to have my mil¬
lion.” He goes to work reckless of hon¬
esty, and he gets his first $100,000. Ho
gets after awhile his $200,000. After awhile
he gets his $500,000. “Now,” he says, “I
have ouly ono more move to make, and I
shall have my million.” He gathers up all
his resources. He makes that one last
grand move, he fails und loses all, and ho
has not enough money of his own left to pay
the cost of the ear to his home. People can¬
not understand this spasmodic revulsion.
So nosaid it was a sudden turn In Erie Rail¬
way stock, or iu Western Union, or In Illi¬
nois Central; some said ono thing and some
auother. They ail guessed wrong. I will
toll you what it was. “Ho that sittoth in the
heavens laughed.” A man in New York sui i
he would be the richest man in the city. Ho
left his houest work as a mechanic and got
into tho oity $15,000,000 councils some way the and in ton
years stole from city govern¬
ment. Fifteen million dollars ! He held the
Legislature of the State of New York in the
grip of his right hand. Suspicions were
aroused. The grand jury presented indict¬
ments. The whole land stood aghast. The
man who expected to put half the city in his
vest pocket goes to Blackwell’s Island, goes
to Ludlow street jail, breaks prisou and goes
across the sea, is rearrested an l brought
Hack and ngtin remanded to jail. Why?
“H-» that sitteth in the heavens laughed.”
Rome was ti great empire. She had Horace
and Virgil among her poets ; she had Augus¬
tus nu 1 Constantino among her emperors.
But what mean the defaced Pantheon, and
the Forum turned into a cattle, market, and
the broken waliod Coliseum, .aud the archi¬
tecture! skeleton of her great aque lusts?
What .was that thunder? “Ob,” you say,
•‘that was the roar of the battering rams
against her walls.” No. NYhat was that
quiver? “Ob,” you say, “that was the tramp
of hostile legions.” No. The quiver and
the roar wore the outburst of omnipotent
laughter from the defied and insulted h«av
aus. Rome defied God, and He laughed her
down. Tae'ies defied God, aud He laughed
her down. Nineveh defied God, and Ho
laughed her dowD. Babylon defied God,
and lie laughed her down. There is a great
difference between God’s laugh and His
s n;;e. His smile Is eternal beatitude. He
smiled when David sang, and Miriam clapped
the cymbals, and Hannah made garments
lor her sou. un i Paul preached, and John
kindled witu apocalyptic vision, do and when
any man has anything to and docs it
well. His smile ! Why. it is the 15th of May,
1 he apple orchards in fuil bloom ; it is morn¬
ing I r aiking on a rippling sea ; it is heaven
at nigh noon, all the bells beating the mar¬
riage pea'. But His laughter—may it never
fallen us! It is a condemnation • for our
s:n : it is a wasting away.
We may let the satirist laugh at us, and
all our eo npanions may laugh at us. and we
,.... v ho made t h » tar’cf for the merriment
of earth and hell, but God forbid that wo
should ever come to the fulfillment of the
prophecy “I will laugh against the calamity.” rejectors of the troth.
at your But. my
friends, all of us who reject Christ and the
pardon of the gospel must come under that
tremendous bombardment. God wants us
all to repent. He counsels, He coaxes. He
importunes, down and He dies for us. all the He world’s comes
out of heaven. He puts
sin on one shoulder, He puts all the world’s
sorrow on the other shoulder, and then with
that Alp on one side and that Himalaya on
the other He starts up the hill back of Jeru¬
salem to achieve our salvation. He puts the
palm of His right foot on one long spike,
and He pats the palm of His lett
foot on another long spike, and then,
with His hands spotted with His own blood.
He gesticulates, saying “Look, look and
live. With the crimson veil of 3fy sacrifice
I will cover up all your sins; with My dying
CToan I will swallow up all your groans.
Look! Live!” But a thousand of you turn
your back on that, and then this voice of
invitation tarns to a tone divinely ominous,
that sobs like a simoom through the first
chapter of Proverbs, “Because I have
called and ya refused. I have stretched out
My right hand, and no man regarded, but
ye have set at nau-’ht nil My counsel an i
would none of My reproof, I, also, will
laugh at your calamity.” Ob, what a laugh
that is —a deep laugh, a long, reverberating
laugh, an overwhelming laugh. Goi grant
we may never hear it. Bat in this day ol
merciful visitation spam! yield your heart to Christ,
that you may all your life on earth
under His smile and escape forever the thun¬
der o»« v -* laugh of God’s indignation.
iilltll
gome people have would make me mis ;rable.
I klad to know that the heaven of tho
Bible is not only a place ot holy worship,
but of magnificent sociality. “What,” say
y° u t “will the ringing laugh go around the
circles of tbo saved?” I say yes—pure
laughter, cheering laughter, holy laughter,
11 will be a laugh of congratulation. NVhen
we meet a friend who has suddenly
como t0 a fortune, or who has got over
some dire sickness, do wo not* shake
hands, do we not laugh with him? And
when wo get to heaven and see our friends
there, some of them having come up out of
great tribulation, why. we will say to one of
them, “The last time I saw you you had been
suffering for six weeks under a low intermit
tent fever,” or to another we will say : “You
for ton years were limping with the rheu
mat ism, and you wore full of complaints
when we saw you last. I congratulate you
ou this eternal recovery.” We shall laugh,
Yes, we shall congratulate all those who have
come out of great financial embarrassments
in this world because they have become mill
lonaires iu heaven. Ye shall laugh. It
shall be a laugh of reassociation. It is just
as natural for us to laugh when we meet a
friend we have not seen for ten years as any
thing is possible to be natural,
When we meet our friends from whom we
have been parted ten or twenty or thirty
ycars ’ wiU 11 not be wlth lnflnite con » ratu!a -
tlon? Our perception will quickened, each our
knowledge Improved, we know
other at a flash. We will have to talk over
a11 that has happened since wo have been
separated, the one that has been ten years in
heaven telling us all that has happened in
the ten years of his heavenly residence, and
we telling him in return all that has hap
pened during the ten years of his absence
from e ar tb. Ye shall laugh. I think George
Whitefleld and John Wesley will have a
laugh of contempt for their earthly colU- will
slons, and Toplady and Charles Wesley
have a laugh of contempt for their earthly
misunderstandings, and the two farmers
who wore in a lawsuit all their days will
have a laugh of contempt over their earthly
disturbance about a line fence. Exemption
* rom ttl1 annoyance. Immersion in all glad
ness. Ye shall laugh. Christ says so. Ye
shah laugh. Yes, it will bo a laugh of tri¬
? m P b - 0b ’ wbnt a H lea ? a ? t thlnc?
9tani , on the wall of heaven and look
dowa at 9ataa aad har Rt hltn fle fiance and
? ee blm °'Tf d aa A , '' l ? , t Z Z
[re® from his clutches ! , Aha! A , v ies, it will n
bo a laugh of royal greeting, cheered
J oa ku T how the Frenchmen
wben Napoleon came back from Elba ; you
know how the English cheare l when Wol
hngton came back from Waterloo ; jou kuow
Americans cheered when Kossuth ar
from Hungary; you remember how
R T 0 oheere i^ h 0 ^ Pompoy S oame baci vk
forious over 900 cities, 1 very cheer was a
Rut ’. ob ’ tb m Kroe Luf' th 8
8 ladd » r greeting, when u the “now wbite cay- .
alf y troop of heaven shall go through the
streets, and, according to the Book of Reve
^ion, Christ In the red coat, the crimson
coat, on a white horse, and all the armies of
heaven following Him on white horses! Oh,
when we see and hear that cavalcade we
shall cheer, we shall Laugh! Does not of your the
heart beat quickly at the thought
great jubilee upon which we are soon to en
ter? I pray God that when we get through
with this world and are going out of it we
ma >" have some such vision as the
dying Christian had whon he saw
written all over tho clouds in the sky the
“W.” and they asked him, standing bv
his side, what he thought that letter “W
meant. “Oh,” he said, “that stands for wol
ootno.” And so may it be when we quit this
world. “W” on the gate, “W on tho door
,°f thfl mansion, “VV ’ on the throne. NYel
come! Welcome. Welcome. I have
preached this sermon with live prayerful
wishes—that you might skepticism, see what what a mean
thing is tbo laugh of a
bright this is the laugh of spiritual the laugh exulta- of sin
B° n > what a hollow thing is
Jul merriment, what an awful thing is th
laugh cf condemnation, what a radiant, rubi
cund thing is tho laugh of eternal triumph,
Avoid the ill; choose the right. Be coin
forted. “Blessed are ye that weep now—ye
shall laugh ; ye shall laugh.”
A BIG SCHEME.
Proposed Railroad From the United
States to South America.
People Nvho have considered the
proposed railway from the United
States through Mexico, Central
America and South America to the
region bordering on the far southern
limits of the continent a mere idle
fancy, will find cause to revise their
idea on seeing the report of the chief
engineer, Mr. Shunk, to the commis¬
sion. The survey appears to have
been made all the way to Buenos
Ayres, and to be found feasible.
Much of the tropical region in South
America will be traversed at great al¬
titudes. for railway travel—the sur¬
vey including sections that rise to
heights of 7,000 and 12,000 feet
above sea level. Such elevated rapid
transit ought to afford much striking
scenery, as well as decidedly cool
weather for travelers, irrespective of
the season. The survey makes the
length of the proposed line 4,300
miles from the Mexican starting
place to Buenos Ayres, and the cost
of the completed road is put at $50,
000 per mile, including some formid¬
able grading and bridging—or about
$200,000,000 in all, for which the
funds are to be paid proportionally
by the countries interested.
The beginning of the line will be
at a point in Mexico which will make
the neiv line continuous with the ex¬
isting system in that country and
the United States. Thus the com¬
pletion of the road will enable a
passenger to go by rail all the way
from Canada almost to the very bor¬
ders of the vast and bare South
American region known as Patagonia.
It will be a good while, yet, before
the proposed road is constructed as
far as Buenos Ayres. And it will be
a great deal longer before a railroad
is built through Patagonia. But
Buenos Ayres (a large city, now) is
itself located almost down to south
latitude 35 degrees—or nearly as far
south of the equator as the city of
Richmond is north of it. From
Buenos Ayres on still southward to
Tierra del Fuego, the Land of Deso¬
lation, is 20 degrees farther; and the
inhabitants of that country beyond
the Strait of Magellan are not 3 *et
petitioning for railroad accommoda¬
tions. Looking from the decks of the
Beagle in the great desolate strait,
off through a water-way reaching far¬
ther south through that forbidding
land, Darwin, in his notes made in
1832, remarks that the passage 4 ‘seem¬
ed to lead to another and worse
world/' Doubtless a large part of
the road will not pay fora longtime;
but its construction will aid in build¬
ing up towns and trade along the
line. Some sections, even in South
America, are expected to pay from
the start.—[Portland (Me.) Eastern
Argus.
THE FAMILY ACCOUNTED FOR.
“What's Bill doin' now?"
“Farmin’.”
“An’ John?”
“Grocery.”
“An’ what’s Dick doin'?”
“Well, Dick's a politicianer, and
raisin’ of Cain an’ a doin’ of
—[Atlanta Constitution.
FLOATING FACTS.’
Boston has a water-storage capacity
for 17,746,843,960 gallons, which is
considered to be 433 days’ supply.
Philadelphia has the name of
“Mother City of Photographio Por¬
traiture” because it was the first city
in this country to adopt photography
after Daguerre, and was the first in all
the world to apply the new art to the
reproduction of human faces.
When the editor of the populist pa¬
per at Kingman, Kan., returned from
the state convention, where he had
voted against female suffrage, ho was
seized by a large party of woman’s
rights people, who put on him a flam¬
ing sun bonnet and a yellow “Mother
Hubbard” and marched him through
the streets, headed by a brass band.
If it be true that the Indiana giant,
Hanson Craig, who has just died at
Danville, Ind., weighed 900 pounds,
he must have been the heaviest man of
whom there is any record. The fa¬
mous English giant, Daniel Lambert,
who died in the month of June, 1809,
weighed only 739 pounds.
Cure for the Blues.
Iu a certain town a number of cures
wero established. Thero was a faith
cure, a hot water cure, a cold water
euro and a cure for the blues. Thiuk
ing that in these days of business de¬
pression and financial stringency, when
more or less accute attacks of the blues
are so prevalent as to bo almost epi¬
demic, a reliable remedy would bo a
delight, wo give the one recommended
at this cure. On his arrival at tho euro
for the blues tho patient was shown
into a small office where sat a phj'si
cian. After questioning the patient a
little ho gave him a small box, charg¬
ing a few cents for it, and charging
him to keep tho contents a close secret.
In the box was a slip of paper with
these words: “Let no day pass with¬
out doing something for some one.”
This prescription carefully taken is
guaranteed to cure the most chronic
case. We hope if anyone under whose
eye this may chance to fall, is suffering
from this melancholy disease, ho will
give it a trial.
'Consumption of Horse Meat In Paris
In the survey of tho butcher shops,
one duty is to make sure that horses,ass
and mule meats are not masquerading
as beef. Not that their sale is forbid¬
den. On the contrary the municipal
laboratory itself has declared this sort
of nourishment “an excellent thing. ”
It simply demands that the meat be
sold as equine and not bovine, and
that the animal that furnish it be not
decrepidor diseased.
The first point is regulated by estab¬
lishing shops especially for the salo of
horse meat. Or, if it is sold from a
cart or in a regularly licensed butch¬
er shop, by requiring that it bo mark¬
ed plainly. The sale of horse meat
has grown to enormous proportions
since tho first shop was established in
1866. The estimate is, that it is eaten
now in a third of the Parisian house¬
holds. In 1891, 21,231 horses,61 mules
mules, 275 asses were sold in tho Paris
shops. The meat costs about half as
much as beef.— McClure's Magazine.
Necessity of Irrigation Recognized.
% -
ditions The^iecessity of agriculture of improving by the con¬
means of irri¬
gation hns been recognized in nearly
all states west of the Mississippi river.
Conventions have been held in North
Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kan¬
sas, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona,
California, Wyoming and Montana for
the purpose of more thoroughly study¬
ing the question of irrigation and ascer¬
taining what should be done by the
national government and tho several
state governments in the way of legis¬
lation to secure the introduction and
increase of irrigation facilities. The
proceedings of these different conven¬
tions have have proved valuable to the
states mentioned. In Dakota, Nebras¬
ka, Kansas and Colorado a large acre¬
age has been made available within
the past two years utilizing the water
supplies that have heretofore been al¬
lowed to run to waste. Tho re
esnlts obtained have been highly
satisfactory, and due effort is being
made to extend the irrigating facilities
in these states.— Ex.
The more familiar we become with
some money-made men the greater be¬
comes our contempt for money.
Have You ? Many Millions Have
accepted James Pyle's invitation to
rs try his wonderful discovery, Pyles
Pear line; for easy washing and clean¬
ing. You couldn’t count them in a
lifetime. Some of the twelve million
housekeepers in this land must have
accepted very often. That’s the way
t with Pearline. The wise woman who
\ \ investigates, tries it; the woman who
1 tries it continues to use it A daily
~A increasing sale proves it. The truth
pi \ is, there’s nothing so acceptable as
2/ Pearline. Once accept its help, and
you’ll decline the imitations—they
» don’t help you. It washes clothes or
f cleans house. It saves labor and it
saves wear. It hurts nothing, but it’s
suited to everything. Try it when it
suits you, for it will suit you when you try it.
Beware as Pearline Peddlers good as” is and never or some “the peddled, unscrupulous same and as if Pearline." grocers your grocer will IT’S tell sends you, FALSE-— you “this some¬ is
thing in place of Pearline, do the honest thing —tend it back. *75 JAMES PYLE, New York.
JOHN r. LOTH IMS CO,
•9 '•9
HAS JUST RECEIVED THE
i HIGHEST AWARD AND GOLD MEDAL
FOR THEIR
LOVELL DIAMOND CYCLES
AT THE
California Midwinter Exposition,
AT SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
Take no Substitute for
Royal Baking Powder.
It is Absolutely Pure.
All others contain alum or ammonia.
Uses for Soda.
Tinware may be brightened by dip¬
ping a damp cloth in common soda
and rubbing it well.
Very hot soda in a solution, applied
with a soft flannel, will remove paint
splashes. Uso soda in the water to
clean paint and glass instead of soap.
Strong, tepid soda water will make
glass very brilliant, then rinso in cold
water, wipe dry with linen cloth.
Ceilings that have becomo smoked
by kerosense lamps may be cleaned by
washing off with soda water.
For cleaning oil paint beforo ro
painting, use two ounces of soda dis¬
solved in a quart of hot water, then
rinse off with clear water.
A lump of soda laid on the drain
pipe clogged will prevent the pipes becoming
with greaso; also, flood tho
pipes once a week with boiliug water,
in which a little soda is dissolved.
Wash white marble porches, bath,
etc., with a mop dipped in boiling hot
water and soda. A good deal of soda
should bo dissolved in the water.
A littlo Boda put in the water in
which cut flowers are placed will keep
them fresh for a long time.
If greaso has been spilt on tablo or
floor of kitchen or pantry, put a littlo
soda on the spots ami then put boiling
water over them.
Ills Sure Rule of Action.
A woll known lawyer on a circuit in
north England, curious to know how a
certain juryman arrived at his verdict,
meeting him one day, ventured to ask:
“Well,” replied lie, “I’m a plain
man, and I like to bo fair to every
one. I don’t go by what the witness
say, and I don’t go by what the lawyors
say, and I don’t go by wlmt tho judgo
says; but I look at the man in
dock, and I says, “He must have dono
something or ho wouldn’t be
I bring ’email in guilty.”— Argonaut.
A great mistake in division is made
whon you divide your earniugs with
the saloon keeper.
1
L.V
m vv.
4s\
1 M &
Wr
.mm ini' 9
n
KNOWLEDGE
tends Brings comfort personal and improvement and
rightly to The enjoyment who live when bet¬
used. many,
ter effan others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the needs the world’s best products to
of physical being, will attest
the value to liealth of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced iu the
remedy, Its excellence Syrup of is Figs. due
to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas¬
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax¬
ative ; effectually cleansing the system,
and dispelling permanently colds, headaches constipation. and fevers
It has satisfaction curing
met with given the approval of to millions the medical and
profession, Liver because it acts on the Kid¬
neys, and Bowels without weak¬
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Syrup objectionable of 'Figs is substance. by all drug¬
for sale
gists ufactured in 50c by and the $1 bottles, California but Fig it is Syrup man¬
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, and being also well the informed, name, Syrup will of Figs,
you not
accept any substitute j.f offered.
Sensible Rules for Lengthening Life.
Cultivate ru equablo temper. Many
have fallen dead in a passion.
Eat regularly ; not over thrice each
day, and nothing between meals.
Go to bed at regular hours and sleep
until you wake up yourself.
Stop working beforo you are much
tired.
Cultivate a generous, accommodating
temper.
Never cross abridge before you como
to it.
This will save you half the troubles
in life. In other words, don’t borrow
trouble.
Never eat when you are not hungry,
nor drink when yon are not thirsty.
Avoid draughts of air or getting
chilled through and through.
When overheated by excreiso, cool
oft' in a warm place,
Driuk no liquids with your meals,
and add years of pleasurable existence
to your life.
CURE S#OTHERS
For over a quarter of a century. Doctor
Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery nos been
effecting Lung affections. cures of Bronchial, Throat and
Weak Lungs, Bleeding
from ing Coughs, Lungs, Consumption, Bronchitis, Astlunn, all linger¬
kindred or Lung Scrofula
and maladies, are cured by it.
REDUCED TO A SKELETON.
Mrs. Mira Mills, of Sardis, Biff Stone go.,
year ago T was given up
by and my friends; family all physician
km said I
must die. My lungs
body wero reduced badly affected, skele¬ and
LSI to a
ton, My people com¬
% menced to give me your
‘Medical Discovery'
and I soon began to
mend. It was not long well
before I became
enough of household to take charge
my duties
again. I
Mrs. Midi, 3 owe my recovery
. to Dr. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery."
WHY NOT 'YO U ?
- McELREES’
WINE OF CARDU1.
* $bV
$S ?\wv i
a
<*
*
% <'
Ki <>
i ►
! '4 a l\\ * 1 n o
I <1.
; ll ♦
♦ ♦«■
-
i * For Female Diseases, * A
W. $3 L. Douglas
SHOE NO IS SQUEAKING. THE BEST.
ini $5. CORDOVAN, & ENAMELLED CALF
- FRENCH
p fek ' \ 5 4. $ -3.5P t 3. 5 _° FlNECALF&KANGARQl P0LICE.3
Soles.
' ^^SESS"*
3 & *2.tesBOTSSCMLSK0a *LADIES»
wm. •
M3-' fS 2 'b?5t co flG °L/i .
rWW'L* fcs SEND TOR CATALOGUE
1 DOUGLAS,
>:■ BROCKTON, MASS.
You can envo money by wearing tlio
W. I.. Douglas 83.00 Shoo.
Bccnimo, vro nro tho largest manufacturers o(
this gradeof shoos la tho world,and guarantco thclf
value by stamping the name and price on the
bottom, which protect you against high prices and
the middleman's profits. Our shoos equat custom
work In style, easy fitting and wearing qualities.
We have thorn sold everywhere at lower prices for
the value given than any other make. Take no sub*
stltute. If your dealer cannot supply you, wo can.
Biyers of Machinery, Attention!
Deal directly write with manufacturers and
us for prices.
ENGINES, BOILERS, SAW MILLS,
Grist Millls, Cane Mills, Cotton
Gins and Presses,
And anything wanted in the machinery ii»^.
SCHOFIELD'S IKON WORKS,Tli»con.tin.
HALMSr||fsls:G!l8Willg6iiin
"Cures and Prevents Khettniatlsm, Im ilgeitlon,
g Dyspepsia, Useful Malaria Heartburn, Catarrh Fevers. and Asthma. §
\ In aud Cleanses tl e T
* Teeth an l Promotes the Appetite. Sweetens W A
the Breath. Cures the Tobacco 11 ablt. Endorsed
" by the Medical Kacu ty. Send for 10, IS or 25 **
f A cent package. Silrer, Stamps or foetal Mote. f. A
G£0. K. UAXM, 140 West ?Vth St., New Turk,
LIVER
PILLS
-AND
e^Tomc Pellets,
At 'TREATM all ENT SflS&SS
at tires, or by mail 26c. double bo* ; 5 double boxes
Sl.ou. IHillVVN JIFMJ CO,, New York City.
the progress
•&=*, ftfIrCOTTON SELF-TRAMPING PRESS.
fW reliable. quirk, strung, durable A
m Haves tramping in
■ box, benee only one man re
r quired with l’ress. Packer hag
only to raise handle to start and
follow block is automatically
stopped. lined A Iso Ideal sole M'f’r’s Hay I'rraa. of the
Progreu steel
Mfsr.l'u., P 0 Bo* P, Uerldian, NIm.
’‘y
HO aired sand Treated It.medlM. Po.itl.ely with eases many Teyetaklo CCRI9 free. Itav# thou,
notmred hopeless. From first dose rapidly disappear* pro
and in ten Gays at leant two-thirds of symptom* all symptoms are removed.
HOOK of testimonials of miraculous cure* sent FREE*
mail
For Engines, Boilers, Saw
Mills anil Machinery, all
kinds, write MALLARY
BROS. & CO., Macon, «a.
i hr ■JO ----CURES P WHERE All ELSE FAILS. Ha
Beet Cough Syrup. Taatea Good. Uee
In ttnia Sold by dniggtsta
fl r>! jqHBBMTaaPMaM
A. N. U . Twenty-nine ’04.