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LENNY’S RUNAWAY.
Mow a Double Damage Epidemic
Helped a Lover to f-'ind
His Tongue.
Double marriages appeared to
be epidemic in Midvale.
The Carson twins started it by
marrying the Reed boys. I hen
Grace Stephans and Anne Cart
wright remembered an old school
pact and they announced a double
event. After that it was no
longer fashionable to be married
alone and by December there
had been six double weddings.
It came hard on the young
men, who had to buy two pres
ents at a time, but it was decid
ed to be the proper thing, and
no Midvale girl would think of a
single wedding after that.
Nate Seaton was a candidate
for matrimony and did not care
whether he was to be the mas
culine star of the event or share
the spotlight with some one else.
The trouble was that he never
seemed able to bring his courage
to the point of proposing to Ad
die Bowers, and, naturally, Miss
Bowers could not pretend to be a
mind reader.
She was perfectly willing to
help Nate out, but the bashful
fellow stammered and stuttered
so that it was useless to come to
his relief; it only seemed to add
to his misery.
More than once he had gone
over to the Bowerses with the
firm determination not to return
until the momentous question
had been settled, but each time
he returned with a humiliating
sense of defeat. Still he persist
ed, and it was with his courage
screwed to the highest point that
he called for her one afternoon
with the cutter.
But once Addie had settled
herself beside him he grew
strangely dumb. The very force
of emotion seemed to render him
powerless to speak, and he an
swered her chat in miserable
monosyllables.
“I declare, you seem tongue
ied,” Addie laughed. “I’m sure
that I wish the horse would run
away 1 or something like that
•would happen to liven things up.’’
“Yes,” said Nate, “me, too.”
“Then why don’t you say some
thing?” she scolded. “A body
would think that-gracious, is
that our Benny?”
“It sure does look like him,”
agreed Nate.” “Wonder what
he’s doing out here. That’s the
Dorrington’child with him.
“So it is.” she exclaimed.
“What in the world can they be
doing so far out in the country?”
“The best way’s to ask them,’
suggested Nate, flicking the horse
with his whip.
In a moment they were along
side of the tots and Addie had
sprung out. “Whatever are you
doing here?” she demanded, as |
she surveyed their tearstained !
faces.
“We’re going over to Banvard
to get married,” explained Ben
ny, “and we’re cold, and tired,
and hungry, and I didn’t know ,
it was so far away.”
“Will vou listen to them?” she
demanded to Nate. “They’re
goiag over to Banvard to get
married. It’s a rnnaway match. ’’!
Nate eyed Benny enviously.
“He’s got a nerve,” he said ad
miringly. “Let’s take them to
uel’s. We can warm them up
and feed them there. It’s only
about a mile.”
Addie bundled them into the
cutter and the trotter started off
at a rapid pace. The children
were too cold and tired to give
much of account of themselves
until they had been fed warm
milk and were established before
the fire. Then Addie began her
catechism.
“Why are you going to Ban
vard?” she demanded. “Why
don’t you stay home?”
“ ’Cause they wouldn’t marry
us,” wept Benny. “Julia said
she’d marry me and we went to
our minister and he said we ought
to be ashamed of ourselves.
Then we went to the Baptist
minister and he told us to run
along and play. Mr. Jennings. 1
Going to Manilla to Marry Sweet
heart.
A telegraphic dispatch from
San Francisco, Cal., last week,
.-.ays: “Among the passengers
sailing to-day for the Philippines
is Miss Flora Watson, who is pro
ceeding to Manilla to become the
bride of First Lieutenant Wiliiam
L Butler of the Sixth cavalry.
The wedding will mark the clim
ax of a romance begun a num
ber of years ago on the other
side of the American continent.
Lieutenant Butler was formerly
of Morrisville, Pa. He enlisted
as a cavalryman in the Spanish-
American war and quickly won
his noncommission chevrons.
After the war he was promoted
to a lieutenancy. Then it was
that he asked Miss Watson, a
farmer schoolmate, to be his
Pride, and she
a mere slip of a girl then," the
wedding was delayed, and Lieu
tenant Butler was sent to the
Philippines. Though the two
have not met injmore than eight
years, an ardent]’courtship -has
been kept up by mail and ar
r ingements have been made for
the marriage to take place fas
soon as Miss Watson arrives at
Manilla.
Let Japan Have Her Rights.
Japan says she doesn’t want
any missionaries “monkeying”
around the empire. No truly
enlighted people will look with
favor on such a proposition, for
at the very outset it must be ap
parant to those people that they
are being reflected on in a very
uncomplimentary manner, when
missionaries are sent among them
trying to teach them a'fnew re
ligion, new morals and new every
thi ig else. Reverse the propo
sition, gmtile reader,"lookffit
square in the face and ask your
self the question; “What would
I think of Japan, China or any
country, sending missionaries to
convert me to a new religion and
a new system to anything when
I am convented. happy and pros
perous, and making headway
in science, art, invention and
civilization?” We think that
you would politely and courteous
ly tell him to skidddo. —Ex.
over at the ’Piscopal Churcn,
said he’d marry us only he had
to marry two husbands at once,
and there wasn’t anybody else
to get married with us.”
“Jennings is a joker,” laughed
Nate, “but I guees he’s right.
You have to hitcn up double this
winter or you can’t be hitched.”
“You can over to Banvard,”
said Benny, eagerly, “’cause he
told us so. When I went over
there with Uncle Tom it seemed
such a short way, but we’ve been
walking since before dinner and
we ain’t half way yet.”
“Will you listen to those inno
cents?” appealed Addie. “I
don’t think I ever saw the like.”
“Pure grit,” commented Nate.
“It’s lucky we picked ’em up.”
“We won’t have to go to Ban
vard now,” exulted Benny.
“Y'ou can go back with us and
get married, too, and then Mr,
Jennings can marry us.”
“You hush,” commanded Ad
die, hastily, but! Benny 3h ad
dropped off his chair and was
pounding Nate’s knee.
“Say you will?” he pleaded.
“Please, Nate? Ido so want to
marry Julie, and we never can
walk to Benvard.” *
“Look here,” suggested Nate,
“you go talk to Addie.”
“Will you?” screamed Benny,
as he threw himself on his sister.
“Will you marry Nate right
now?”
“Wait until he asks me.” she
said, daringly. Nate found his
tongue at last.
“I’ve been trying to ask you
all winter,” he said, “and you
know it, but this little fellow’s
got more grit than I have, bless
his heart. Will you. Addie?”
“I guess I’ll have to say yes,”
said Addie, softly, as she freed
herself from the importunate
youngsters and crossed to Nate.
IN THE RUINS OF POMPEII.
Evidences of the Commonness of
Slavery Found on All Sides.
Evidences of the commonness of
■ slavery in the time of Pompeii’s de
struction are abundant on Ml sides
in the ruins. The gladiators were a
| class of slaves trained for fighting,
and some of the wall scribblings re
fer to their condition as one of slav
ery. Here is the translation of an
advertisement painted on a wall
tear tiie amphitheater:
“Twenty pairs of gladiators, paid
by Decimus Lucretius Saltius Va
leus, prince in the time of Nero,
the son of Decimus, will fight at
Pompeii on the 11th, 13th and 14th
of April.
“There will be a proper hunting
scene, and the awnings will be
spread. Written by Ghw-Emilius
Clev, writer of inscriptions. Wrote
this by moonlight.”
The gladiators’ barracks were am
ple for tl]e housing of 2,000 or 3,000
men, and it is a matter of record
that at least 2,000 were engaged at
one time in the life or death com
bats which stretched over a long
festival. The' actors in these mur
derous sports were “barbarians”
from various parts of Europe or
from Asia Minor and Africa.
In the Naples museum is a bronze
collar which was worn about the
neck of a man whose skeleton was
found in a Pompeiian house cellar.
On the collar are engraved in Latin
these words: “I am a slave. Arrest
me, because I am running away.”
1 could not help thinking while
looking at this ingenious and cruel
substitute for a convict’s dress that
it was possible that the poor wretch
who wore it may have been one of
the descendants of the blond haired
Britons brought home by Julius
Caesar to grace his triumph 100
years before Pompeii disappeared
Lcneath its pall of lava and ashes.
In the Gheezeh museum, Cairo,
one may look upon the black and
shriveled face of that llameses
whom we know as the Pharaoh of
the Oppression.! Mummies of other
Egyptian kings, priests and people
are common enough. These primeval
men, who far antedated Pompeii
and Rome, stand undecayed in our
presence. But Pompeii presents the
picture of an entire city resurrected
from the dead, with all its appli
ances of life and means of pleasure,
profit, comfort, luxury, vice and sus
tenance. The life is gone out for
ever, but the mummified city re
mains—a monument of human in»
genuitv and frailty.—Exchange.
A Puzzled Husband.
Patient Man —Suppose a woman
makes it so hot for her husband that
he can’t live with her and leaves her.
What can she do?
Lawyer —Sue him for support.
“Suppose she has run him so
heavily into debt that lie can’t sup
port her, because his creditors grab
every penny as quick us he gets it ?”
“If for any reason he fails to pay
her the amount ordered, lie will be
sent to jail for contempt of court.”
“Suppose she drives him out of
the house with a flatiron and he’s
afraid to go back?”
“She can sue him for desertion.”
“Well, 1 don’t see anything ior
me to do but go and hang myself.”
“It’s against the law to commit
suicide, and if you are caught at
tempting it you’ll be imprisoned.
Six and eightpenee, please. Good
day!”—London Tit-Bits.
Wonderful Strength of the Beetle.
A noted entomologist who has
been writing on the wonderful feats
of strength as exhibited in the beetle
family tells the following: “I se
lected a common blackwater beetle
weighing 4.2 grains and found that
he was able to carry a load of shot
in a small bag, the whole weighing
B*4 ounces, or exactly 858 times the
weight of the bug. If a man weigh
ing 150 pounds could carry as much
accordingly he could shoulder a
forty-five ton locomotive and then
chain a train of cars together and
take the whole lot across the coun
try at a five mile an hour gait.”
Tha Uses of Fire Escapes.
One of the settlement workers
asked an east side lad what fire es
capes were intended for.
“To sleep on,” promptly replied
the lad.
“Anything else ?”
“Sure. Dey’s good to ripen to
matoes on, to dry clothes, to drop
cats off, to shoot beans down at de
guys passin’ on de street, to swear
at de eop from and” —
But the settlement worker had
fled with uplifted hands. New
York Globe.
Faithful.
The Master—Didn’t I tell you to
go down and find out what time the
Detroit boat started?
The Man —Yis, sor.
The Master—Well, you’ve been
gone two hours. What’s the matter ?
The Man —Sure Oi couldn’t be
lieve what thim fellies did be tellin’
me, so Oi waited to see ut shtart wid
me own eyes. ’Twas tin-thortv, sor.
■—Cleveland Leader.
THE FAMILY IN INDIA.
A Man Not Lcavo His Parents
After Ha Marries.
In India a man docs not leaYc bis
pa-rents after marriage 'to live with
h'is wife, as lie does in this country,
but he stays at home and the wife
becomes a member of his family,
being treated as a daughter of the
husband’s parents, writes Swami Al>-
hedananda in Good Housekeeping.
The old Jewish law, “Therefore
j shall a man leave his father and
his mother and shall cleave to his
1 wife” (Gen. xxiv), lias no place in
| Hindoo society. It is considered to
be extremely selfish to be separated
from the parents for the sake of a
wife. Parents, indeed, have a great
er claim upon their children in India
than in any part of the world.
This joint family system is a very
old institution handed down through
generations. It has great value in
developing humane qualities like fel
| low feeling and sympathy, and in
I extending the field of love among
j all such relatives as live under one
roof. Today there are to be found
j families which consist of nearly fifty
! members living together in perfect
harmony and peace, and the moral
standard among them is kept so high
that each husband looks upon every
other woman of the household as
his mother, while every wife looks
upon all other men as her children.
The members of such a household
daily perform their respective dutigs.
The women divide the work of
housekeeping among themselves and
; rake the entire management in their
own hand*, following the direction
! of the most elderly lady of the fam
ily. Whatever they decide becomes
i a law in the home. Men attend to
I their business, deal with the outside
world, supply the needs of the fam
ily and at the beginning of each
month give to the women of the
family enough money to meet all
the’expenscs of 1 lie household.
Reflected Glory.
A gentleman sojourning in Edin
burgh many years ago, having heard
much of the eloquence of the mem
bers of the general assembly, paid
an early visit to it. Next to him sat
an elderly, hard featured, solemn
faced man, who was leaning with
both hands on a heavy stick, which
he eyed with great concentration.
Soon the stranger’s attention was
riveted upon the speaker who had
opened the day’s discourse. The
wonderful command of language he
possessed, combined with his elo
quence, excited the listener’s curi
osity. “Can you tell me who is
speaking now ?” he asked eagerly,
turning to the sober faced old man
beside him. “Who’s speaking now?”
echoed the old im*i, lifting his eyes
from the contemplation of the stick
to fix them in contemptuous amaze
ment upon his interlocutor. “That,
sir, is the great Doether Chawmers,
and I’m boldin’ his stick.”
A Floral Detective of Long Ago.
In early times the Dutch farmers
of the up river farms of New York
had an ingenious way of recovering
pocket knives that might have been
dropped or mislaid while plowing or
gardening,was going on. Cutlery
was not as cheap and abundant then
as in these days, so tlve farmers took
the thrifty precaution of keeping
two or three sunflower seeds in their
knife handles. Then if the knives
fell upon broken ground and could
not be readily found, the owners
would wait until the seeds sprouted,
and an isolated sunflower stalk or
blossom in field or patch would sig
nalize the possibility of a missing
article being at its root. True, the
owner did not always realize the re
sult of the scheme, because a pass
ing bov who understood the token
often “got there” before the planter.
A Lesson In the Art.
The Complete Angler—Yes, the
bass is the wiliest of the finny tribe
all right, as this little incident will
show: One day while engaged in my
favorite pursuit I dropped a valu
able diamond ring in the water. The
following day I cast my line near the
spot where the ring disappeared and
soon landed a five pound bass. Now,
what do you suppose the camp cook
found inside that fish?
The Chorus of Novices—Haw,
haw, haw! The missing jewelry, of
course!
The Complete Angler—Ah, boys,
vou seem to forget about the wili
ness of the bass. What the cook
reallv found was a pawn ticket for
the ring! —Puck.
Climbing Mont Blanc.
It is an expensive as well as a
very tiresome undertaking to ascend
Mont Blanc. It costs at least SSO
per person, for by the law of the
commune of Chamouni each stran
ger is' obliged to have two guides
and a porter. So far as the danger
is concerned, it is now reduced to a
minimum, but almost even - year the
mountain claims a victim. Bad
weather is the chief thing feared by
the guides, and so swiftly does it
come that a cloudless sky may in
fifteen minutes turn to a blinding
snowstorm, which beats you to tha
ground.
THE HORRORS OF WAR.
Pathetic and Tragic Incident of tne
Struggle Before Metz.
In the course of the giant strug
gle before Met* a handful of chas
seurs flung themselves into a small
j red roofeu farmhouse, determined
]to sell their lives dearly. They bar
ricaded the ground fioor as strongly
a 3 they were able and from the up
i per story opened fire on their assail
i ants. For nearly two hours the
I Prussians were kept at bay. The
itorm of rifle bullets riddled the
1 roof and upper walls, and finally,
j one by one, the chassepots were si
lenced. Concluding that the ammu
nition of the little stronghold had
at lenrjii been exhausted and pre
pared for a savage hand to hand
tussle with the garrison, the Prus
sians burst through the barricade
and elTectcd an entrance.
To their amazement the ground
floor was unoccupied save for a little
girl of five, who looked up into their
faces with a smile of happy uncon
cern. She had been playing with her
doll and evidently thought that the
heavy firing had been an odd new
game which the “grownups” had
been having especially ior her
amusement. As the big blue eyed
sergeant caught her up in his arms
and kissed her she asked, with an
j air of disappointment, why they had
: stopped the pretty “boom boom.”
Through the terrible death wrestle
of two mighty nations this happy
little house mother had been pleas
antly absorbed in family cares. The
wrath of kings, the savagery of an
cient race hatreds, were things she
could not understand; even the hur
ricane of fire and lead had seemed
to her but such strange elemental
music as the wren in its nest hears
when a thunder shower sweeps over
the woodland.
A ladder led to the upper fioor of
the farmhouse, and when the con
querors ascended they found among
the wreckage of shattered roof and
crumbling walls the rest of the gar
rison—no more than nine in all—
lying dead. Beside them lay the
mother of the child with a chassepot
still clutched in her hand.
What He Bought.
A mail in Montclair, N. J., re
cently bought a bull pup whose list
of recommendations was as long as
the pedigree received from the dog
fancier. The pup was lonesome in
his new surroundings and raised a
melancholy howling to make it gen
erally understood. Four times dur
ing the night the owner was roused
from his sweet suburban sleep to
quiet and console that bull pup. He j
had come to believe that the animal
was reconciled, and the pup did be
have very well the following day, un- j
til hi 3 owner, who really can sing, J
started to entertain some guests
with a solo. The pup promptly be
gan to howl most dismally.
“Say,” said the man with intense
disgust, “I bought you for a dog,
not an obligato.”—Everybody’s Mag
azine.
Not the Man.
Colonel Mike Donahue of the
Tenth New Ilampdiire was some
what fond of drink. After the war
the Tenth, wishing his picture, com
missioned an artist to do the job.
After the painting was finished, the
artist, according to the Boston Her
ald, seeing one of the veterans of the
Tenth, an Irishman, called him in
to ask his opinion of the picture.
The old Irishman walked up to the
easel, scrutinized the picture, and
was about to put his hand on the
canvas when the artist cried out:
“Don’t touch it! Don't touch it!
It’s not dry.”
“Not dliry! Not dhry!” shouted
Pat. “Then, be jabers, it’s not Mike
Donahue.”
An Odd Wager.
A queer wager is one popularly
believed to have been won by Sir
Walter ltaleigh from Queen Eliza
beth, on the debatable question of
how much smoke is contained in a
pound of tobacco. A pound of the
article was weighed, burned and
then weighed in ashes, and the ques
tion was held to be satisfactorily
settled by determining the weight
of the smoke as exactly that of the
tobacco before being burned, minus
the ashes. The fact that the ashes
having received an additional weight
by combination with the oxygen of
the atmosphere was unthought of by
Elizabeth and the knight.
Force of Habit.
The genial captain of a steamer
plying on one of our American riv
ers was appointed a vestryman in
an Episcopal church in a city which
lav at one end of his route. One
day shortly afterward it was report
ed to him, when on shore, that there
was a leak in the church. He was
accustomed to promptness, and on
receipt of the message he went to
the church, took a candle and start
ed down into the cellar to find the
leak, evidently thinking of the base
ment as the hull of the good ship
Zion. The captain himself tells the
story with much apparent enjoy
ment of its humor.
THE FALSE DAWN.
One Hour ef the Night When All Na
ture Is Astir.
There is one hour of- the night be
tween midnight and morning—2
o’clock, to be accurate —when all n
ture is astir. The cowboys and 1
shepherds and the okl country -
tell ns about it.
This hour is heralded by I
rooster crowing, not this
announce the hour of dawn,
though he were a watchman speed
ing the course of night. Cowboys
assert that the entire herd of cat
tle wake up and walk about and lie
down and -rest in a new lair.
The sheep rouse themselves and
crop the grass, the birds stir in their
nests, the cowboys’ horses and the
shepherd’s dog open their eyes to
see that all is well.
The shepheod and the cowboy
open their eyes, too, to loot: for a
moment at the stars and become for
the time being mere animals in na
ture’s flock. Yet there is no ac
counting for the inaudible sum
mons, the gentle touch of nature
that recalls all the sleepers to life
at precisely the same blur.
Even to those deepest read in
these arcana this rhythmical nightly
resurrection remains a mystery.—
New York Herald.
His Patriotic Appetite.
Adolph was devouring something,
if not with relish, at least with ear
nestness. From time to time he
would saw away with a knife at
something under the counter and
convey a small particle to his mouth.
“Try it,” he said to the customer
who entered, holding forth what ap
peared to be a slice of smoked beef.
It was ham. Furthermore, it was
tough ham and was salty enough to
take the skin off the tongue. It was
not particularly palatable, either, as
the customer was compelled to re
mark after an ineffectual attempt to
mhsticate it.
“Dot’s from my own town in Ger
many,” said Adolph proudly. “You
can’t buy it here. An old lady just
from dere brought it to me today.”
“It doesn’t taste particularly
nice,” said the customer.
“Nice? Nice? Sure it ain’t nice.
But it comes from my own town,
und I eat it.”
A Slight Mistake.
By some chance the tourist stayod
to Sunday school. A young
with a sweet face—and unless the
tourist’s aging eyes deceived him, a
stylish bonnet—was explaining the
meaning of the word “missionary.”
“ 'Missionary,’ ” she said, “is from
the Latin missionarius, which means
one sent-.”
She looked heavenly enough to
inspire a whole cargo of mission
aries and seemed to possess enough
learning for an entire lexicon and
the tourist did- net doubt her.
“Now, Charley,” she said to a lit
tle urchin with shining morning
face, “what is a missionary?”
“One penny.”
A Thief Outwitted.
A number of years ago a watch
was stolen in a Parisian theater. The
loser complained in a loud voice and
said: “It is just about 9. In a min
ute my watch will strike and as the
sound is very strong we shall by
that means instantly ascertain
where it is.” The thief, terrified at
this and thinking that he had un
wittingly stolen a striking watch,
attempted to escape, but by his agi
tation was discovered, and the
watch, a common one in every re
spect, was regained by its owner.
An Appetizer.
Dooflicker, the author, was invit
ed to dine with a wealthy banker at
home. Arriving somewhat early, he
amused himself with the prattle of
his host’s little daughter. “Well,
Elsie,” said the guest, “since you
know my name, perhaps you can tell
me who 1 am.”
“Oh, yes, sir,” replied Elsie readi
ly; “I heard mamma tell auntie that
we were to have another half starv
ed literary genius to dinner.”—Lon-]
don Answers.
Did Not Like Fat.
The provision dealer looked at
Mrs. Newlywed as if he thought she
were a victim of temporary insanity.
“Did you say you wanted a—a lean
chicken, ma'am?” he faltered.
“Certainly I did,” and the younJJ
woman’s expression took on added
dignity. “Neither Mr. Newlywed
nor I ever eat chicken fat. It is ex
tremely distasteful to both of us, '
and I see no occasion for paying for
what we do not like.”
j
A Queer Old Recipe.
Here is an old recipe for making
the hair grow “where you will have
it:” “Take two ounces of boar’s
grease, one dram of the ashes of
burnt l>ees, one dram of the ashes of
southern wood, one dram of the
juice of a white lily root, one drain
of oil of swfeet almonds and six
drams of pure musk. Make an oint
ment of these and the day before the
full moon shave the place and anoint
it even’ day.”