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JUDGE CLAYTON KNEW
admitted as authentic. Whereupon Judge Clayton calmly remarked that
while lie was in congress as chairman of the judiciary committee he had
passed a law permitting proof of handwriting by Just such a method, and he
referred the contending lawyer to the paragraph and page of the Revised
Statutes where the law could be found.
“Sometimes even a practicing lawyer gets rusty,” observed the abashed
attorney, as he sat down.
KENYON MADE THEM HUNGRYI
Senator Kenyon stirred the sen
ate to a high pitch of hunger the other
day. He was talking about child la
bor.l In the course of his talk he
drew a picture of a farmer’s boy sit
ting down to an old-fashioned coun
try dinner.
The senator was contrasting the
life of the factory boy and the farm
boy. He said that while the farm boy
worked in the fields, rested at noon by
turning the grindstone, milked the
cows and so on, still he went swim
ming and fishing, saw the circus, and
had a pretty good time.
“I have a very distinct recollec
tion that as a boy on a farm I had to
pitch the bundles to the threshing
machine,” snid he. “I used to think
that was about the hardest work that
could possibly be done in the world.
"Rut when you remember the
farmer’s dinner —the fried chicken and
mashed potatoes, and gravy, and corn
on the cob, and tomatoes, and the bread and the butter that melted in your
mouth, and the apple pie with a piece of cheese —and then you could go out
and lie under a tree —it was not so bad.”
At this point there was a general rush to the lunchroom and a chorus
of orders for fried chicken.
MAYOR MITCHEL STUNG 1
• > , NS* « , v
the frame of the mayor, his face contorted into a horrified grimace, and he
made a frantic pass at the back of his leg. He was too late. The khaki-clnds
were already leaving the field, nnd the yellow-jacket was gallantly covering
their retreat. And even while he groaned inwardly, the police band suddenly
broke into the rollicking notes of “Never Let the Same Bee Sting You
Twice.” And the mayor took the hint and left, too.
ADMIRAL HERBERT QUICK
Herbert Quick, member of the new
farm loan board, looks like a mag
nate, even if he is a farmer. One day
when he went into breakfast in
Youngs hotel in Boston, one of the dig
nified and portly negro waiters came
over and filling his glass said: “Good
mornln’, general, will you have some
canteloup?” “Yes,” said Quick, “but I
am not a general.”
The waiter brought it and said:
“Now, governor, will you have some
cereal?” “Yes, some oatmeal, but 1
am not a governor.”
Again the waiter came nnd said:
“Now, Judge, what is you gwine to
have for breakfast?” “Bring me some
ham and eggs,” said Quick, “but I
am not a judge.”
As the meal drew to its close the
waiter said: “Boss, does you mind
tellin’ me what you is?” Quick’s sense
of humor had been already aroused
and he said: “Why, no, I don’t mind
telling jou I am the admiral of the Swiss navy.” “For de Lord,” said the
negro. “I did not know jes what you was, but I done know dat whatever
you was you was de top of the heap.”
His tip was scarcely less generous than the compliment.
Mr. Quick has been many things besides admiral of the Swiss navy.
Having been born and reared on a farm in lowa and having attended country
schools, it was not unnatural that in later life he should become the editor
of a farm journal; but he also has been a teacher, a practicing lawyer,
manager of telephone companies, associate editor of a political weekly and
mayor of Sioux City. In his spare time he has written a number of novels
and numerous magazine articles, and he has been at times suite active it
politics as a member of the Democratic party.
Sometimes it comes in handy for
a United States judge to have been a
member of congress. Judge Henry D,
Clayton, who is on the circuit bench of
Alabama, not long ago was trying a
case in which the question of a man’s
handwriting was Involved. Under the
Alabama law it was always necessary
to prove a person’s handwriting, and
the admission of one’s writing by com
parison could not be taken in evi
dence to prove the authenticity of a
document introduced in evidence. The
defendant sought to gain a point in
his case by introducing a letter in the
handwriting of one of the parties in
volved. Judge Clayton ruled that the
writing was admissible.
Immediately the lawyer on the
other side rose and suggested to fhe
court thnt his long service in con
gress had probably made him rusty
in the law; that handwriting could not
be proved by comparison with writing
\#. mmM
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— i
Mayor Mitehel, Police Commis
sioner Woods nnd a galaxy of other
luminaries that sparkle in the New
York city administration’s firmament
embarked on the police patrol boat
at the Battery the other day and dis
embarked at Fort Wadsworth, on
Staten island. Their object was to
inspect and review the 400 New York
city policemen undergoing military
training at that point, but the mayor
was badly stung.
It fell out in this manner. The
policemen, to do them nothing more
than justice, drilled in a very able
and very soldierly manner.
Hovering over the mayor’s head
was a yellow-jacket, who took in all
these proceedings with a knowing eye.
The last notes of the police band
had died away, the last straining po
liceman had recovered his equili
brium; it was at that moment the
bee struck. A shock passed through
THE DOUGLAS ENTERPRISE, DOUGLAS. GEORGIA.
iNIffiMIONAL
SIINMfSQIOOL
Lesson
(By R O. SELLERS, Acting Director of
the Sunday School Course of the Moody
Bible Institute, Chicago.)
(Copyright, 1916, Western Newspaper Union.)
LESSON FOR SEPTEMBER 17
PRISONER IN THE CASTLE.
LESSON TEXT—Acts 22.
GOLDEN TEXT—He is my refuge and
my fortress.—Ps. 91:2.
Paul was rescued from the inob by
the prompt actiou of Lysias, and was
saved from scourging by revealing his
Roman citizenship (21 :27-22 :29).
Every true life, real social service, pa
triotism and national righteousness
rest upon the value of conversion to
Christ. The fundamental message of
the Christian church must always be
regeneration. With this message Billy
Sunday is gripping the large cities,
and L»r. John R. Mott is reaching the
student life of the world.
I. Paul's Account of His Early Life
(v. 1-5). By his use of the. Greek tongue
he obtained permission to deliver this
address, and by his wise use of the
Jewish language he gained the atten
tion of the excited crowd. Paul as
serted his Jewish origin. (Acts 21-39).
Tarsus, where he was horn, had a uni
versity which rivaled those of Athens
and Alexandria, and Paul had probably
heard its great philosophers. Paul was
an educated man; he was brought up
in Jerusalem from his early boyhood
at the feet of Gamaliel its greatest
teacher. Thus his religious training
was according to the law of the fa
thers, and as “touching the righteous
ness which is of the law,” he was
blameless (Phil, 3:6). He was zealous
for God, doing what he thought he
would have him do even when “perse
cuted this way,” the way of forgive
ness, salvation and righteousness.
Jesus said, “I am the way.” Paul was
at this time an instrument in the hands
of the rulers, carrying out their plans,
but he exceeded them in his zeal for
“the traditions of our fathers (Gal.
1:14). He was not at all like those
Pharisees whom Christ condemned as
“white sepulchers.” He was not what
we would term today, “a bad man.”
11. Paul’s Turning Point vv. 6-21).
Paul seems to pick out three different
crises in this rehearsal. (1) His inter
view with Christ, when he saw Jesus
as he really was in his glory, a living
risen Savior (Cor. 9:1; 15.8). He had
positive proof of the resurrection from
the dead. This proof convicted him
of sin. He had heard Jesus call. He
had asked Jesus what he would have
him to do. He was ready to obey, and
something was given him to do. The
light which he met on that journey ar
rested him in his mad course. The
voice gave him his directions. In obedi
ence to the command, “Arise and go,”
he gained knowledge and skill. (2) He
lights upon his interview with Ananias
(v. 14) where he received personal help
from an experienced Christian. In the
darkness and conflict of those three
days of loneliness the questions must
have been: Could he leave rank, honor,
friends? Could he enter the service of
the despised one and suffer reproach,
danger and death? During tills con
flict he must have had before him the
vision of what God would have him do,
and the work for which he chose him
(vv. 16-18). His vision and commission
constituted a strong motive for right
decision. During the vision he came
into the light, and confessed his faith
by his baptism. As a result of those
three days and his interview with
Ananias he came to know God’s will
more fully. The next step was of
course (3) ids public avowal (See Acts
2:38; Heb. 10:22; Rom. 10:13; I Cor.
6:11). The purpose of Paul’s whole
life and mission was changed.
111. Paul’s Dangerous Position (vv.
20-30). The mob gave him audience
until his words about the Gentiles. His
declaration that God had commanded
him to go upon a mission to the Gen
tiles was an offense to the Jews, and
his words fell like a “spark upon an
inflammable mass of fanaticism.” They
broke out into a frenzy of excitement,
and made preparations to stone him.
An Oriental mob is hideous beyond de
gree, howling, yelling, cursing, gnash
ing their teeth, flinging their arms,
casting off their garments (v. 23),
throwing dust into the air to relieve
their excitement nnd to express their
execration. It was a manifestation of
their uncontrollable rage. The opposi
tion of a mob is no proof that the
person it curses is wrong.
Immediately preparations stopped.
The commander was called, nnd, learn
ing that Paul was a free-born Roman
citizen, he had cause to be afraid that
he had gone too far.
To assert Roman citizenship falsely
was punishable with death.
The chief captain told Paxil that
with a great sum he had obtained his
Roman citizenship, but Paul’s reply
was, “But I am Roman born.”
Paul was well cared for after this,
and, in order to find out why the Jews
were so opposed to him, the captain
summoned the Sanhedrin to meet the
following day, thus unconsciously giv
ing Paul another opportunity to pro
claim the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Paul indeed was ready to be bound,
and also to die at Jerusalem for the
name of the Lord Jesus.
He knew how his Lord had been
bound (John 18:12), and he rejoiced in
the fellowship of his sufferings (Phil.
3:10) yet he claims his right as a citi
zen for there is no need of morbidly
seeking unnecessary disgrace or pain.
TAKES THE PLACE OF
DANGEROUS CALOMEL
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Medicine for Men, Women, Children —Read Guarantee!
Ugh! Calomel makes you sick. It’s horrible!
Take a dose of the dangerous drug tonight and
tomorrow you may lose a day’s work.
Calomel is mercury or quicksilver which causes
necrosis of the bones. Calomel, when it comes in
to contact with sour bile crashes into it, breaking
it up. This is when you feel that awful nausea
and cramping. If you are sluggish and “all
knocked out,” if your liver is torpid and bowels
constipated, or you have headache, dizziness, coated
tongue, if breath is bad or stomach sour, just try a
spoonful of harmless Dodson’s Liver Tone tonight.
Here’s my guarantee —Go to any drug store
and get a 50 cent bottle of Dodson’s Liver Tone.
Take a spoonful and if it doesn’t straighten you
No Need to Worry.
Rankin—My wife speaks six differ
ent languages.
Phyle—l wouldn’t worry.
Rankin —Whaddye mean worry?
Phyle—She can only talk one at a
time.—Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
the test of time. Test them yourself now. Send
for sample to 372 Pearl street, N. Y.—Adr.
REALLY A SIMPLE MATTER
Johnny’s Reference to Dictionary Must
Have Given Him Considerable
Enlightment.
“Father,” said the son, looking up
from a book with a puzzled expression
on his face, “what is pride?”
“Pride,” returned the father, “pride!
Why— a—Oh, sure you know what
pride is. A sort of being stuck up, a
kind of —well, proud, you know. Just
get the dictionary; that’s the tiling
to tell you exactly what it is. There’s
nothing like a dictionary, Johnny.”
“Here it is,” said the latter, after an
exhausting search. “Pride being
proud.” “Urn —yes, that’s it,” replied
the father.”
“But—”
“Well, look at ‘proud.’ That’s the
way; you have got to hunt these things
out, my lad.”
“I’ve got to,” answered Johnny.
“Pre—pri—pro—why— ’
“What does it say?”
“ ‘Proud—having pride.’ ’’
“That’s it! There you are, as clear
ns day. I tell you, Johnny, there is
nothing like 51 good dictionary when
you are young. Take care of the bind
ing, my son, as you put it back.”—
Pathfinder.
Indefinite.
“What are all those people on the
pier looking at?”
“There’s a dark object in the wa
ter and they’re trying to decide wheth
er it is a man-eating shark or the Bre
men.”
Brazilian coconut palms are believed
to live from 600 to 700 years, and the
date from 200 to 300 years.
Few men die of old age.
X f
Two Fellows
are trying to
get ahead.
It’s easy to see who’ll win.
If you have any doubt
about coffee holding some
people back —in fact many —
leave the hesitating class, stop
coffee ten days, and use
POSTUM
This delicious pure food
drink, made of wheat, roasted
with a bit of wholesome mo
lasses, has a delightful, snappy
flavor. It is free from the
drugs in coffee and all harm
ful ingredients.
Postum is good for old
and young, and makes for
health and efficiency.
“ There’s a Reason”
They’re Scarce.
“What a beautiful girl Miss Stone
is! Strange she has never married.”
“Well, you know there are very few
men who can afford to provide a proper
setting for such a beautiful Stone.”
Only Natural.
“He seems wedded to his work.”
“He ought to be; He married his
employer’s daughter.”—Judge.
MOTHER, ATTENTION!
Gold Ring for Baby Free.
Get a 25c Bottle of Baby Ease from
any drug store, mail coupon as di
rected and gold ring (guaranteed),
proper size, mailed you. Baby Ease
cures Bowel Complaints and Teething
Troubles of Babies.—Adv.
Shattered Romance.
“Do you remember how you used to
stop at the shops and send me bou
quets and bonbons?” said the woman.
“Yes,” replied the man. “There was
some sentiment about you in those
days. Now you insist on my stopping
at the shops and sending you around
bacon and beans.”
SOAP IS STRONGLY ALKALINE
and constant use will burn out the
scalp. Cleanse the scalp by shampoo
ing with “La Creole” Hair Dressing,
and darken, in the natural way, those
ugly, grizzly hairs. Price. SI.OO. —Adr.
Prepared.
“I saw a perfect love of a library
table at Grumble’s this afternoon.”
“But, my dear, we dou’t need a li
brary table.”
“I know, love, but there’s no tell
ing when we will need one, since
Uncle George gave little Georgie that
tool chest for his birthday.”
Dr. Peery’s “DEAD SHOT” is an effective
medicine for Worms or Tapeworm in adults
or children. One dose is sufficient and no
supplemental purge necessary.—Adv.
Possibility of Combustion.
The danger of fire from oil-soaked
rags such as many housekeepers keep
on hand for wiping up varnished
floors was demonstrated at a fire-risk
exhibit given in a New York window
recently. A quantity of oil-soaked rags
were placed in the window witli a pla
card stating that they were liable to
take fire at any time from instantane
ous combustion due to the action of
the atmosphere upon the rags. A num
ber of small blazes were started by
rags in this window. In one instance
combustion took place within seven
hours after the rags were placed in
position.
Mollycoddle. t
“Did you see that?" yelled the ex
cited man in the Panama hat. “That
robber of an umpire calls Gilligan out
at third and Rafferty never come
with in a foot of touchin’ him.”
“It looked that way to me, too,”
admitted the man beside him. “Still,
I dare say the umpire could see the
play better from where he was than
we could from up here.”
“Aw, go on home!” retorted the oth
er savagely. “You ain’t got no busi
ness goin’ to a ball game. You’re one
of these blamed pacifists, that’s what
you are!”
Handicapped.
First Stranger (to second stranger,
who is sporting a massive watch
charm) —What's the time, friend?
Second Stranger—Can’t tell, just
now, mister.
First Stranger —Can’t tell me?
You’ve got a watch, ain’t you?
Second Stranger—Yes. I’ve got a
watch, mister; but the blamed thing
stopped about a month ago, one noon
time, an’ ever since I ain’t been able
to tell whether it’s right unless I
hear the twelve o’clock whistles blow
in’.
Leading to Improvement.
Improvement comes, first, by agita
tion, then by cogitation, and in the
end by perspiration.
right up and make you feel fine and vigorous I
want you to go back to the store and get your
money. Dodson’s Liver Tone is destroying the
sale of calomel because it is real liver medicine;
entirely vegetable, therefore it can not salivate or
make you sick.
I guarantee that one spoonful of Dodson’s Liver
Tone will put your sluggish liver to work and
clean your bowels of that sour bile and constipated
waste which is clogging your system and making
you feel miserable. I guarantee that a bottle of
Dodson’s Liver Tone will keep your entire family
feeling fine for months. Give it to your children.
It is harmless; doesn’t gripe and they like its pleas
ant taste. —Adv.
ECZEIUH
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terrible itching. It Is com- U CA
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your money will do promptly L J/T/ if'
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if Hunt's Cure fails to cure l jj M / /
Itch. Hczema.Tetter, King Worm 1 g\A /
or any other Bkin disease. 6Uc W /
the box K f | /
For sale by all drug stores
or by mail from tho
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FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE
Dissolved in water for douches stops
pelvic catarrh, ulceration and inflam
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A healing wonder for nasal catarrh,
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He extimoidmary cleansing and germicidal power,
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Your Liver
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That’s Why You’re Tired—Out of Sorts
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Her Intent.
“Look how that cat has taken up her
position just in front of the camera.”
“I suppose she did it for a set purr
pose.”
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k- BRONCHIAL ASTHMA