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MOODY’S ADVICE TO YOL'N'U MEN’
t j . : , ' I
A Word About Work. A tll reused to t il
i‘iii|tlu) od Mon.
Mr. Moody, in the progress of a dis
course at Chicago, a few ownings ago, de
livered tlie following advice to unemployed
men:
And mnv a word about work. Kara
the bread you eat. i would rather earn
five cents than someone give me five dol
lars. There is no hope of a man's reforma
tion who does not go to work. Laziness
belongs to the old creation. I don't know
what to do. and I don't see what God can
do with a lazy man. If you can get only
twenty-five cents a day. go to work for
that. Someone once tried to abuse a sen
ator by saying that he used to black boots.
“ Didn't 1 black them well?'’ he answered.
Work is honorable. Any honest work is
better than idleness. Black boots, or carry
a hod, or carry in coal, and if you can only
■earn live cents a day, live on five cents a
day. Don't go in debt.
“Some ol' you think it is hard that there
is no work to be found : tiiat people arc so
suspicious of you. Well, they have rea
son for at; you are only just out of the
rum-shop : you are just getting up to the
first round of the ladder; but if they find
that you are really a true man. then there
will he people to trust you and give you
employment. It is because there are so
many hypocrites in the wor'd that people
are afraid to put confidence in you. and
predict that you will not hold out. Don't
think you are stooping because you have to
work lor less than you got before. Do
your poor rough work well, and you will
Wind better work to do.
f Another thing. Some of you are in the
r habit of lying. I have heard of one who
professed to be a reformed man who has
' been lying; and what a disgrace that is to
a good cause, Now, let me say to 3 r ou, be
truthful. If you have to tell the worst
about yourself, don't lie. Own up to the
truth, for it is better and safer that the
Worst should he known. Here is annul
just out of the penitentiary who gets a
place of trust, and one of his old pals
Romes in and threatens to blow on him un
less he puts up 820. But if he can answer,
My master knows all about me,” he is a
r k man, in spite of his past disgrace.
V pvant you to take this advice kindly; 1
H give it from my heart. If you don't get on
as veil as you wish, don't go back into sin.
Oneif the young converts was tempted to
go t>sell liquor again ; but let your motto
be, Trust in God,” and you can resist
temjation, and come off victorious over
the vorld, the flesh and the devil.
Prosorvc the Fences.
Wc’>j£an the rail fences. There are
several Ways' uy of our ;
fetlceS eai| be pi "S\ iry'fn enumer
ate a few, not that \rc expect to add to
what every practical farmer already knows,
but in order to refresh his mind by way of
remembrance. One of the essentials in
preserving rails is to keep the fence row
clean. Weeds, briars and sprouts should
not be permitted to grow up in fence corn
ers. The row should be sown to such
grasses as is best adapted to the soil and
thus every foot of soil can he utilized. The
bottom rail, usually known as the “ worm ”
should have a chunk under the corner,
half the length of the rail whatever the
length may he. A frequent handling of
the rails is a great advantage to their lon
gevity. The fence should not be permitted
ito stand more than three years if old rails,
or more than live if new ones, without
throwing down and rebuilding.
-By this plan the position of the rails are
changed and many of them are given anew
lease on life. A common practice is, that
when re-setting a fence is to place new and
unseasonable rails at the bottom, this is
done because new ones are thought to be
more durable than the old ones. All who
have noticed results know that green tim
ber /ots more rapidly when brought in J
contact with the ground than does seasoned i
timber. Experience has proven that the i
df :ost durable rails arc those made before
| he sap is in full How, or just as the llow is
sufficient for the bark to slip as the rails
dry. Made at this season of the year and
*• ricked ” until fall or winter, they handle
much better and make a better fence than
if used immediately after they are made.
The economy of hauling dry rails is quite
an item if the distance be far or the rails
heavy, and every light in which we may
view this subject, we arrive at the conclu
sion that in making rail-fences it pays to
dry them before .using.
A Ilot Game of “ Freeze Out.*’
Denver (Cul.) Xews.
A bad story conics from Deadwood about
an old Denverite—l). Tom Smith. The
► writer says Tom has been behaving beastly
for some time past, threatening to kill his
wife and several other people in town. Re
cently, on a certain evening he went into a
saloon where the Mayor, City Marshal and
two others were engaged in a game of
freeze out.” lie pulled off his coat, took
a corner from which he could cover the
players and the barkeeper, and then
“ pulled his gun,” cocked it and held it at
a present upon whoever made a motion to
rise or change his position. lie told them
that he came in there for murder, and
meant murder, but they might go on with
the game. The game did go on with a great
deal of solemnity. The writer says : “it
was probably the most solemn game of
freeze out ever played in the Hills.” No
one of the five present wanted to be a
martyr. But the City Marshal kept work
ing his chair around, and at last suddenly
ducked his head and made a spring for JL).
Tom. At that instant the latter “turned
loose ” his battery. The shot passed
through the crown of the Marshal's hat.
out through the side, through the back of
his coat, crossed the tab’e and struck the
Marshal’s late partner square in the fore
head. between the eyes, where it split in
two, and one-half traversed the skull in
each direction, finally stopping near the
temples ou each side. But the Marshal
$1.50 A VEAR.
got Tom before he bad time to pull again,
and now lie has gone to Yankton for con
finement and trial. The man he shot is
getting well. If he had been killed they
say Tom would have died rather suddenly.
—.—
How Many A]i|tlcs Adam mill Eve F.iil.
Some sav Eve 8 and Adam "2, a total of
10 only. Now we figure the thing out far
different. Eve 8 and Adam 8 also. Total.
]<>. —Bos ton Journal.
H'c think the above figures are entirely
wrong, if Eve 8 and Adam 82, certainly
the total will be i)l). Scientific men, how
ever. on the strength of the theory that the
antideluvians were a rnae of giants, and
consequently big eaters, reason something
like this : Eve 81st. and Adam 82. Total,
ITS.—Gloucester Advertiser.
Wrong again; what could he clearer
! than if Eve 8 1, and Adam 8 1 2, the total
was 893? —Lawrence American.
If Eve 8 1-1 st, and Adam 8 1-2 would not
the hold he 1,62 if .—Boston Journal.
1 believe the following to be the true so
lution : Eve 8-14 Adam, Adam 8-1-24 Eve.
Total, 8,938. — Veritas.
Still another calculation is as follows : If
Eve 8 -1-4 Adam, Adam 8 1-2-4 to oblige
Eve, total 86,056. We think, however,
this not to be a sufficient quantity, for
though we admit that live 8-1 4 Adam.
Adam if he 8 >-8 1-4 2 keen Eve company,
total, 882,050. —_V tr York Mail.
The above estimate is wrong, altogether
wrong. If Adam ate as is estimated 808,-
142 apples we presume that Eve ate an
equal number. We have no account that
he ate any only what Eve gave him, now it
is not reasonable to suppose that a modest
young groom like Adam would cat more
fruit than his bride, nor is it probable that
she would have given him more than his
share, consequently we conclude: that it
Adam 8 808,142 apples that Eve ate the
same number, which would make 1.010.f
--284,—Toccoa Herald.
Hold on ! That isn't correct yet. Now ,
if Adam and Eve ate 1,610,284 apples, it
gave them both the stomach-Skc. Tl Js
i aCTting ftj more, wdav'j e a V . uHof
Cdftirtilts' in the Right Style.
“Git emit, you nasty puppv —let me
alone, or I'll tell my ma !" cried out Sally
to her lover, Jake, who sat about ten feet
from her, pulling dirt from the chimney
jam.
*• T ain't tcchin’ on you, now, Sal,” re
sponded Jake.
“ Well, perhaps you don’t mean to
nuther, do you ?”
“ No, l don't!”
“Tause von are too darned scan*, you
long-legged, lantern-jawed, slab-sided, pig
eon-toed, gangle-kneed owl, you liain’t got
a tarnel bit o' sense; git along home with
you.”
“ Now, Sal, I love you, and can't help it.
and ef you don't let me stay a fid court
you, my daddy will sue yourn for that cow
he sold him t'other day. By jingo, he said
he'd do it.”
“ Well, look here Jr.kiv—if you want to
court me, you'd better do it as a white man
does that thing—not set off there as if you
are pizen I”
“ llow on airth is that. Sal?”
“ Why, side right up here and hug and
kiss me. as if you really had soiio of the
bone and sinner of a man about you. Do
you s'pose a woman's only made to look
at, you stupid slink you?”
“ Well." said Jake, drawing a long
breath, “ ef I must, 1 must, fori love you,
Sal;” and so Jake commenced sliding up
to her like a maple poker .going to battle.
baying his arm gently upon Sal's shoul
der. we heard Sal say :
“ That's the way to do it, old boss ; that
is acting like a white man orter.”
••(). Jerusalem and pancakes!” ex
claimed Jake,” if this ain'l better than any'
apple sass inarm ever made, a darned sight.
Crack-ee ! buckwheat cakes,, slapjacks and
lasses ain’t no wliar long-side of you, Sal !
Oh. how I love you !”
Here their lips came together, and the
report that followed was like pulling a
horse's hoof out of the mire.
—
The Deluge Demolished.
In New York Sunday evening Dr. Boyn
ton spoke on *• ’I iie Deluge in the bight of
Science. He began with a quotation from
St. Raul which tells us to believe all things.
Dr. Boynton does not believe in this man
ner. He pins his faith on investigating all
things. He classified the deluge with the
expedition for the Holden Fleece and other
classical legends of ancient history, and
treated its traditional place in history as
•virtually a myth. He conceded that asub
' .stratum of truth might have underlain this
great legend of the flood, inasmuch as there
was undoubtedly an extensive flood in the
southern portion of (Babylon. It probably
embodied, in the <hqf r's opinion, a great
physical change tha, me over the globe,
and which, perhdp -as the cause of the
migration of the \ Dr. Boynton ar
rived at these res;, nt ffrom examination of
the fossil remains a Erthe most recent geo
logical iuvestigationJKTlie doctor will hard
ly succeed, howev.c|Vn getting people to
dismiss forever N'TJBfs beloved and famil
iar ark. with all tlMlnimals m it. together
with all the otlter MJ-rished paraphernalia
of the deluge. MM
HARTWELL, GA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 21 1877.
A WINKING INDIVIDUAL.
How lie IDM Inin Troultlc In n Willlnc
ry Shop.
Kenkvk Constitution.
Sanders is a great wild er. lie can't
talk to you two minutes without enforcing
his point with a drop of one of his upper
eyelids; he never takes a letter out of the
office without winking at one of the clerks; I
he winks when-he duns you, and gives you
a sly one when he pays a hill. When he
meets and greets you on the street, it is
always with a significant closing of the left
eye, and when he has a stunning piece of
news to tell you his wink is one of the
greatest import. The world moved along
smoothly enough with Sanders until last
Friday. Ip to that tune he had gone wink
ing and blinking along peacefully enough,
and no clouds had obscured his happiness ;
but a pall is hanging over Sanders now, and
life has no charms for him. It's all his
wife's fault, he says. She find no business
sending him to a millinery store. She
wanted a bow to match one on her hat,
and she started Sanders off to procure it.
lie entered the store whistling, and when
one of the shop girls approached and said,
“ Good morning,” he winked and replied,
“ Good morning.”
The girl blushed and looked nervous ;
Sanders displayed the how and said :
“ Got anything to match that?” and he
winked again.
The girl vanished to the back room with
darning cheeks, leaving Sanders to stare
after her in open-mouthed wonder. In a
minute or two the boss milliner, who had
been informed of his actions appeared.
She was highly indignant, and as sue slam
med the door behind her she said :
“ Sir—”
“ Good morning, madam,” said Sanders.
“Fine day, ain’t it now.” and a wink was
unconsciously slung at' the lady. She
bridled up instantly.
"Sir. the conduct—”
" Oh, that's all right; never mind her—
little bashful, eh?” Another tremendous
wink.
“ I cannot permit such conduct, sir. It
is shameful and insulting.'.
“Not at all; not at all."' sa s Sanders,
ate\.- f * r/itMifc.
worn; we understand each other.”
Another portentious wink.
The milliner vanishes, slamming the
back door behind her, and Sanders sinks
into a seat ejaculating, “ Well, I'll be dog
goned !” But he bounced up quick when
j a gentleman entered, and calling him “an
old hippopotamus,'’ proceeded to divest
himself of his coat, and squaring off at
Sanders, cried out; “Now, then, come
on !”
“ Why, why, bless me, what does this
mean?” said Sanders.
“ Oh, yes, you're a nice one, you arc.
What kind of a place do you take this for,
coming around and insulting women and
girls with your winks? Come on !” and
lie danced around Sanders.
lie got one in on Sanders over the eye ;
his left duke felt of Sanders’ mug, and
when he got through with Sanders that in
dividual was as badly demoralized as a pig
in a whirlwind, and he never found out
what it was all about until the milliner's
husband, who had ascertained his habit,
called on Sunday and apologized. San
ders shook hands, said it was a right, anil
was just about to wink again, when he
checked himself and said :
“Blame it. I'll swear off from that
habit! and then he turned and winked at
the wall to enforce his oath.
A Dover's quamL
Bridge* Smith'* Paper.
They went to the Catholic fair, the other
night. On the way, she promised by all
that was good and bad that she wouldn't
dance with any man save her escort. This
she fuliy resolved to do, but when the
band begun one of Strauss’ waltzes, anti u
spruce young man sidled up to her with a
smile, asked if lie could have the pleasure
of her company, she forgot her good reso
lution, and the next thing her escort saw
was the light of his heart floating about
the hall with a young man's hand around
her waist.
This is what occurred oil his way home :
“ Thought \ou were nottgoing to dance,
Julia.”
“Well, I didn’t intend to.”
“ But you did. didn’t you ?”
“ Yes, 1 danced a little.” < x
“ Will you send me my ring and letters
to-morrow ?”
** Yes, of course I will.”
Here ensues a pause. The escort grits
Ins teeth and bats bis eyes. She bites her
lips and feels like she lias just lost a thou
sand dollar bill. They reach the gate.
He lingers, but hasn't anything to say.
** Won’t you come in, Mr. Jones?”
“No. T believe I’ll hurry home.”
“ When are you coming again?”
“ Well, I don't reckon I'll come any
more, liotf.”
“ Why?.”
“ Because. I don’t think I ought to come
now; besides, I'll be very busy next
week.”
She softens.
“ I’ve got something good to tell you if
you'll come. C'au't you come to-morrow
night?”
"I’ll see about it. If that fellow you
danced with at the fair won’t object, 1 may
come.”
“ Pshaw ! That was brother Tom.”
He looks blank, but draws nearer. He
takes her hand and tries hard for a word.
“Good night. Mr. Jones.“
“tiood night, Julia; tou needn't send
that ring back—l was only joking. Noth
ing on earth could separate us now.”
He is happy.
“ 1 was only joking, too, Mr. Jones—it
was not my brother, only a friend—but
you don't care !”
He releases his hold on her hand, and
goes down the steps. He walks slow, anti
shivers when he bangs tlie door. He looks
back at the house; sees nothing. Then he
whistles a long whistle, cuts it short with
r. snap, and says :
“ Ain't 1 a cling fool?”
I'lrrmuNtaiirm Alter l <trw.
Mew I'urk Herald.
“ Mrs. Flyn, ” said his honor at the
fifty-seventh street police court, "you are
charged with being an inebriate.”
“ I'm not, sir. I'm a widdy.”
“ Well then, you are a widow who is ac
cused of being drunk.”
“ As for that, yer honor, T may have
taken a dhrop too much of something
sthrongcr thin tav.”
“ Well, Mrs. Flyn, I shall have to—”
“ Now thin, judge.” interrupted the
prisoner, “sureyou wouldn’t be -fter sin
din' me to the Island just for takin' a wee
dhrop o’ the crather, such a foine, hand
some. good-lookin' smart judge as ve is?”
“ Mrs. Flyn, considering the fact that you
think mo fine—”
“ Yis.”
“ Handsome —”
“ Yis.”
“ Good-looking—”
“ Yis.”
“ And smart—”
“ Yis.”
“And that you were very drunk, 1 have
concluded to send you to the Island for ten
days.”
“Oh, Lord! had luck to yecs for an
ugly, disagrayable, ignorant spalpeen.
May the divil Hy away wid ye.” shouted
the “ widdy ” as a policeman carried her
down stairs like a sack of potatoes.
A Dk' Only liruiik.
Here is an anecdote with a sharp moral
that comes to us ail the way from Austra
lia : “Sixty years ago, when 1 was a
teacher in Kilmaleum parish,” says John
Fraser, “I was using whisky bitiers for my
stomach's sake. One day I dipped a piece
of cake in it and gave it to the dog. lie
grudgingly ate it curling up his lips to avoid
the taste. Ere long he became tipsy—he
howled most piteously, and unnaturally
looked up in my face as if for help, lie
began to stagger and fall like a drunken
man. The appearance of his face and eyes
was extraordinary. Be lay on the floor
and howled until the effects of the drink
wore off. The dog never forgot the trick.
Whenever afterward I went to the dresser
for the bottle he hastened to the outside of
the house. One day. the door being shut,
he sprang at one bolt through a pane of
glass, to get outside. So much for the
wisdom of the dog—infinitely surpassing
that of foolishing drinking men.”
To Kill ii Town.
To kill a town in two years, closely and
promptly observe the following rules :
Ist. But up no more buildings than you
are obliged to occupy yourself.
2nd. If you should nave an empty build
ing to rent demand three times its value.
3d. Look sour at every new comer and
give the cold shoulder to every merchant
or mechanic who desires to come among
you.
4th. Go abroad for your goods ana wares;
by no means purchase from your own mer
chants and manufacturers even at the same
price or less.
sth. Don't contribute one cent to the
cause of religion or education.
Finally, put a thorough finish to vour
work of vandalism by killing your local
newspaper, by refusing to subscribe or ad
vertise, so that persoris at a distance will
not know that any business is being done
in your town.
Art* You Keaily.
Rev. Dr. Kidd was a Scotch minister of
some prominence, and very eccentric, and
one who had bis own way of doing things.
One of his parishonerS says :
‘•I was busy in my shop, when in the
midst of iny work in stepped the doctor.”
“ Did you expect me?” was his abrupt
inquiry, without even waiting for a saluta
tion.
“ No,” was the reply.
** What if it had been death?” asked he,
when at once he stepped out as abruptly as
he came, and was gone almost before I
knew it.
What a question ! What a thought for
every one of us ! Does not death come to
most, if not all, as unexpectedly as this ?
And does not the inquiry impress the les
son from our Savior's lips. " Be ye also
ready, for in such an hour as yc think not
the Son of man cometh ”?
Evkry Max Woman and Child at
this season should take Dr. J. 11. Mc-
Lean's Strengthening Cordial and Blood
Purifier, because it purifies and enriches
the blood, gives vigor, strength and vitali
ty to the whole body and system Dr. J.
H. McLean’s office, 314 Chestnut, St.
Louis.
PA RAG RAIMIS OK THE PERIOD.
The only female sovereign in India wears
breeches.
A girl with downward eyebrows is gener
ally willful.
Blue lamp chimneys are recommended
for weak eyes.
A fanner gathers what he sows, and a
seamstress sews what she gathers.
A granddaughter of Robert Burns, the
poet, is living In Guelph, Canada.
Plow deep while the sluggards sleep, and
you’ll have grain to sell and to keep.
“Ah, ha!'* said a farmer to the corn.
“ Oh, hoc !” said tha corn to the farmer.
Don’t linger where your love lies dream
ing. Wake her up and tell her to get the
breakfast.
A wife full of truth innocence and love
is the prettiest llower a man can wear next
to his heart.
Brown, in his honey-moon, calls his wife
a saint; Jones, ten-years married, sadly
echoes his ain't.
A child thus defines gossip: “It's when
nobody don’t do nothing and somebody
goes and tells of it."
A Rochester woman picked out of her
knee the other day a needle that she sat
down on twenty-live years ago.
It is a sad moment for a bachelor when
he finds that his hair is so (bin that ho is
unable to hold a pen back ofliis ear.
A Japanese maiden, now being educated
in this country, says that all her people
want is Christianity, scissors and wedding
breakfasts.
NUMBER 2F>.
The New York juipers tell about a
“drawback on sugar." Thai's nothing.
There has been a fearful “pull-back ” on
lasses all summer.
A daughter of a wealthy Watertown far
mer has distinguished herself by raising
eight little pigs on a bottle. Suck-ccss to
her lit-er-ary efforts.
A young man at Kember’s Bluff,in this
State, acquired the habit of tossing a cock
ed pistol in the air nml catching it by the
muzzle as it fell. The last time he caught
it was just a moment before he died.
A country clergyman, seeing a young
man standing in the doorway of a church
and looking hesitatingly about, paused in
the middle of his sermon, and exclaimed:
“ Get out, young man ; she is not here !”
An educated young man went to Mis
sissippi a few years since. His friends were
proud of him, and said he would be heard
of in the world before many years. They
were right; the young man now heats a
gong at a railroad station.
The bulldoze cocktail has iust made its
appearance at the fashionable bars. You
must tilt about a teaspoonful of water into
thf* nrfi it with r_v,?h
.... ... ..... ."m.. W lIIUW
whiskey as the glass will hold. Then when
the count is made throw the water out.
A minister was telling a young girl who
was about to become a bride, that she must
remember that man and wife are one.
“Lord !” said she, “ if you were under my
father and mother's window when they are
quarreling you’d think they were at least
a dozen.”
A minister going to visit one of his sick
parishioners, asked him how he rested du
ring the night. “(), wonderfully ill, sir,”
he replied, “ for my eyes have not come
together these three nights.” “What is the
reason ofthat?” said the minister. “ Alas !
sir,” said he, “ because my nose was be
twixt them.”
“My dear boy,” said a lady to a pre
cious youth of sixteen, “does your father
design you should tread the intricate and
thorny paths of profession, and straight and
narrow paths of the ministry, or travel the
Howery paths of literature ?” “No inarm ;
dad says he’s going to set me to work in
the tater patch.”
The Boston Herald: A gentleman inct a
citizen of.Somerville recently, and said to
him, “Your homo is in Somerville, I be
lieve?” “No,” replied the Somerville man,
“my home is in I leaven.” “Let me give
you a little advice,” said the gentleman.
“You hurry and get a postal card and
write your folks that you are not coming
home.”
“ This is my last call,” said a flippant
young gentleman to a young lady who was
soon to be married, on a recent occasion.
“I never call on married women or unmar
ried ladies after they have reached twenty
five. “You do well, sir,” gravely remark
ed an elder lady present. “At that ago,
and after marriage, they begin to know the
value of time, and do not wish to waste it.”
A Delaware gentleman who roomed with
Senator Saulsbury said one day : “Senator,
I often meet a servent in the morning taking
two cocktails into your room. Do you al
ways drink in duplicate?” “Sir,” replied
the Senator, “ I order two cscktails every
morning, and when I have drank one, it
makes me feel like another man. Then,
sir. I am bound by courtesy to treat that
other man, so I drink the second.”
Now that Grant has pardoned all but one
of the St. Louis whiskey thieves, the Cou
rier Journal thinks they ought to unite
in presenting him some suitable testimoni
al of their gratitude, when he comes to re
tire to the unsalaried shades of private life,
with no one to love him, none to caress, he
would find a forty-gallon barrel of ten-year
old Bourbon, with an amber hung hole and
silver-plated hoops, a mighty handy thing
to have about the house.
“It is au axiom of law,” says Senator
Sherman,” that legislative powers can not
be delegated; if the power to make laws
can not be delegated, how can Congress
delegate the power which controls the vote
of the States to a picked tribunal?” The
character of this conundrum is not wholly
unlike that of that celebrated arithmetical
problem which lias so long baffed the skill
of the ingenuous youth of the Country, t. <\,
“if a lot of Irish poturnips cost each sixty
two and a half cents a peck by the dozen
in Podunk, how far is it by the overland
route from Harper’s Ferry to Christinas?”