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H? WAS SCARED OUT OF A WIFE t- ■ ■ -*• The narrative which 1 am about to write was tohl to me one bleak cold night, in a country parlor. It was one of these cold nights ni raid whiter, when the wind swept over the land, making everything tingle with its frosty breath, that I was seated before a blazing fir*, surrounded by n jolly half dozen boys and an old bachelor, a Pe ter Cirgcn, about forty and eight years old. It was just the night without to make those within enjoy a good story, so each of us had to tell his favorite story, save Mr. Green, aud he was a jolly story-teller, we were somewhat surprised to hear him say. ‘* 1 have no story that would interest you,’’ so we had to find other entertainments for awhile, when one of the hoys told mo to ask him how it happened that he never got married. So 1 did. “ Well, gentlemen.” he began, “it docs not seem right for me to tell how that hap pened, hilt as it is about myself. I don't care much. You sec when 1 was young we hud to walk ns far as live miles to church and singing school, which was our chief enjoyment. Hut this don't have any thing to do with my not getting u wife, hut just wanted to show you that we had some trouble them days in getting our sport. “ .John Smith and I were like brothers, or like ‘Mary and her lamb.’ Where one went the other was sure to go. So we went to see two sisters, and as we were not the best boys imaginable, the old gentle man took umbrage and would not allow us to come near the house, so we would take the girls to the end of the lane, and there we would have to take the final kiss. “ Wo soon got tired of this sort of fun, and I told .John, on our way to singing school one night, that 1 was going to take Sadie home, and that 1 was going into the house too. Ho said the old man would ruin me if I did. “ I told him I was going to risk it any how, let come what would, lie said lie would risk it if I would. “So home wo went with the girls. When we got to the end of the lane I told the girls we proposed going all the way. “ They looked at each other in a way I didn't like too well, but said they (the old folks) would be in bod, so they didn't care if wc did. They were a little more sur prised when 1 told them wc thought of going in a little while, hut all was quiet when wo got to the house, so we had no trouble in getting into the kitchen. Then and there we had onr first court, and 1 made up my mind to ask Sadie to be my wife the next time 1 came. “ It was now past the turn of the night, and as we had four miles to walk, I told .John wo ha<l better be going. So we.step ped out on the porch, but just then the sky was lit up by the lightning, and one tremendous thunder peal rolled along the mountain sides. Its echo had not died away in the far off vales until the rain be gan to pour from the garnered fullness of the clouds. We waited for it to stop un til we were all sleepy, when the girls said we could go to bed in the little room at the head of stairs which led out of the kitchen, as their father did not get up early wo could be at home before the old folks were astir. So after bidding the girls a sweet good night, and hugging them a little, and wishing them pleasant dreams, nml prom ising them to come on the next Sunday night, we started to bed. u We didn't have far to go, as the bed stood near the head of the stairs. John was soon in bed, but was always a little slow and full of curiosity, 1 was looking around the little room. ‘‘At last I thought I would sit down on a chest, which was spread over with a nice white cloth, while I drew off my boots. So down I sat, when, stars of the east! 1 went plump into a custard pie ! “1 thought John would die laughing, for he said I smashed that custard all to thunder and the plate right in two. You see we had to be awful quiet, so the old man would not hear. “•I was now ready to pet into bed, so I put the light out and picked up my boots thinking to put them in a more convenient place, when down one of my legs went through a pipe hole which had been cov ered by paper, up to my hip. Now one part of me was up stairs while the longest part of me was in the kitchen. As my log was very long, it reached a shelf which was occupied by do lies, pans, coffee pots, etc., and turning it over with a tremendous crash. “The girls had not retired, and we couiit^} ear them laugh lit to split their sides. awfully ashamed, and was scared until, heart was in my throat, for 1 expected tlie-old man every moment. “ I extricated the confounded hole just in time, for tho old lady looked into the kitchen from the room door and usTmUIhTTI all tlifuG . ise was about. The girls put her off as they could and I went to bed, while Uohn was strangling himself under the cover to keep from laughing aloud. “We soon went ofl* into the land of dreams with the hope of waking early. 1 wish I could tell you my dreams, but it would he too long. One moment I would fancy myself by the side of my Sadie, sip ing nectar from her heaven-bedewed lips, and the next I would be Hying from the old man, while he would be flourishing his cane above my head. This came to an end by John giving me a kick. “On waking up and looking around, 1 saw John's eyes as big ns my fist, while the sun was beaming in at the window. “ What to do we couldn’t tell, for we heard the old man having family prayer in the kitchen. “John looked out of the window and saiil we could get down over the porch. “ Get out and dress as soon as possible, said lie. “ So in my hurry my foot got fastened in the bed clothes, and out I tumbled, head foremost, turned over, and down the steps until I struck the door, which was fastened by a wooden button, and it gave way, out I rolled in front of the old man. He threw up his hands and cried— “ ‘ Lord save us !' for he thought it was the devil. “The old lady screamed until j’ou could have heard her a mile, I was so scared and bewildered that I could not get up at once. It was warm weather and I didn't have on anything but a—well, one garment. “ When I heard the girls snickering it made me mad, and I jumped up and rushed out of the door, leaving the greater part of my only garment on the old door latch. “(Ml I started for the barn, and when half way through the yard the dogs set up a howl and wont for me. “ When 1 got into the barnyard 1 had to run through a Hock of sheep, and among them was an old ram who backed oil’ a lit tle and started for me. With one bound 1 escaped bis blow, sprang into the barn, and began to climb up the logs into the mow. when a: old mother hen pounced upon my legs, picking them until they bled. “ 1 threw myself upon the hay, and after John hud slid clown the porch into a hogs head of rain water, he came to mo with one of my boots, my coat, and one of the legs of my pants. He found me complete ly prostrated. Part of my shirt, iny hat. one leg of my pants, my vest, stockings, necktie and one boot, were left behind. “ I vowed then and there that I would never go to see another girl, and I’ll die be fore 1 will.” Wlinl’s a Boy I,ike ? Like a waq>, like a sprite, Like a goose, like an eel, Like atop, like a kite, Like an owl, like a wheel, Like the wind, like a snail, Like a knife, like a crow, Like a thorn, like a flail, Like a hawk, like a doe. Like the sea, like a weed, Like a watch, like the sun, Like a cloud, like a seed, Like a book, like a gun. Like a smile, like a tree, Like a lamb, like the moon, Like a bud, like a bee, Like a burr, like a tune. Like a colt, like a whip, hike a mouse, like a mill, Like a bell, like a ship, Like a jay, like a rill. Like a shower, like a cat, Like a frog, like a jay, Like a ball, like a bat, Most of all—like a boy. A ISoslon Ito.v on Hciim. The Boston Cornier prints the following “ boy's composition * k Ileus is curious animals. They don't have no nose, nor no teeth, nor no enrs. They swaller their wittles whole and chew it up in their crops inside of 'em. The outside of liens is gen erally put inter pillers and made inter leather dusters. The inside of a hen is sometimes filled up with marbles, and shirt-buttons and sieh. A hen is very much smaller than a good many other ani mals, but they’ll dig up more tomato plants than anything that ain't a ben. liens is very useful to lay eggs for plum pudding. Bet your life I like plum-pud ding. Skinny Hates eat so much plum pudding once that it set him inter the col lery. Hens lias got wings, and can tly when they are seart. i cut ray Uncle William's lien's neck off with a hatchet and it seart her to death. Hens sometimes make very fine spring chickens.” Printer* in tlie xt Senate. 'fhe next senate will contain ten old-time printers, namely, Messrs. Cameron—the sly old dog—Antnony, Ingalls. Sargent, M est. Hamlin. Blaine, Hawes, Patterson, and Plumb, just elected from Kansas. There is not a Democrat among them, and take them together we cannot conscienti ously say that the art preservative is to be congratulated on her senatorial representa tives. Hoe 1 the gardening season is at hand. TO THE MOI TH. AN Oise By MAHTIN tK HCJUHAR TITI’K*. Froi,> the Charleston Xewt and Courier. The following ode “To The South was written last evening by the distinguished author, and handed to us for publication. We take much pleasure in presenting it to our readers as the frank testimony of an accomplished Englishman to the 'facts of the past, and the truths of our present con dition. Happy would it be for the South if other gifted writers of “ England and the North’’ who come among us had tlie same magnanimity and impartiality as lias influ enced Mr. Tupper in penning these lines: The woiM twin riiisjiulgi'il. mlntruatxil, malign'd you, Anil xhntlld lie quick to make turnout amend*; Let iih. then, ]n*nk of you juat aa we find you, Jlumtily and heartily, remain* and friends; Let us remember your wrongs aud your trials, Slandered and plundered, and crushed to the dust, Draining adversity's bitterest vials, Patient iu com-age and Htivng in pood trust. Von fmipht tor Liberty—rather than Slavery 1 Well miglil you wish to be quit of that ill, Hut you were sold to political knavery, Mesh'd by diplomacy's spider-like skill; And you rejoice to see slavery banished, While the free servant works well as before, Confident, though many fortunes have vanished, Soon to recover all—rich us of yore ! Doubtless there had been some hardships aud cruel ties. Cases exceptional, evil and rare, But to tell the truth—and truly tie jewel 'tin— Kindliness ruled—as a rule—ev'rywhere ! Servants—if slaves— I were your wealth and inheritance, Horn with your children and grown on your ground, And it was quite as much int'rest as merit hence Still to make friends of dependents all round. Yes. it is slander to say you oppress'd tlu-m. Does a man squander the prize of his pelt ? Was it not often that he who possess'd them Hntlicr was owned by bis servants himself? Caring for all, as in health, so in sicknesses, lb' was their father, their patriarch chief, Age's infirmities, infancy’s weaknesses, Leaning on him for repose and relief. When you went forth in ynurplnck and your bravery, Selling for freedom Isdli fortunes and lives, When* was that prophecied outburst of slavery, Wreaking revenge on your children and wives? .Nowhere! You left all to servile safe-keeping, And this was faithful and true to your trust; Master and servant thus mutually reaping Double reward of the good and the just! Generous Southerners ! T who address you Shared with too many belief in your sins; Blit 1 recant it—thus—let me confess you— Knowledge is victor and everyw here wins ; For I have seen, 1 have heard, and am sure of it, You have been suffering long ; Paying all slavery's cost, aud the cure of it, Ami the Great World sUaTT repent o? ifs wrong -t*. Charleston, February 8, 1877. Hart County Directory. COI'NTY OFFICKUB. Ordinary —Fred. ('. Stephenson. Vlerk Superior Court —C. A. Webb. Sheriff —.1. Robert M \ ors, Tax Feeder r —M. Thornton. Tax Collector —James K Johnson, Treararer —J. (). Bobo. Surveyor —Allen S. Turner, Coroner —K. Phillips. School Com mi ssione r —(’has. W. Seidel. TOWN OFFICKHB. Mayor —John Peek. Secretary anil Treasurer —W. 11. Stephenson. Councilinen —K. IS. lien son, James W. Williams, W. 11. Stephenson, K. H. Sunders, W. R. Stephenson Hart County iielijiiomi Directory. MKTHOmST. Rev. W. P. Smith. Pastor. Tlethesda —lst Sabbath in each Month. HarhreU—'i ml “ and Saturday before. Ml. /ion —-2nd “ at 4 p. m. Cukesbury —3rd Sabbath in eaeli month. Provide nee —ttb “ Rev. John Qeillan, Pastor. Fellowship — Sabbath in eaeli mouth. linl wine- Macedonia — “ at 4 p. in. BAPTIST. Rev. 11. M. B acton, Pastor. Sardis— lst Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Hartwell —4th “ “ 41 " “ Rev. J. T. W, Veunox, Pastor. Milltown —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. llev. I . W. Stephens. Pastor. Hendry's —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Rev. James 11. McMcllkn. Pastor. Line —Urd Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Feed Creek —4tb “ 4 4 4 4 44 Rev. T. 11. (loss. Pastor. Cross Loads —4tli SaldnUli and Saturday before. Rev. John I>. A hams, Pastor. Oannon's —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Rev. J. U. Kaklf. Pastor. Sardis —2d Sabbath in eaeli month. Rev. Thomas Crimes. Shoal Creek —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, nto'ly. PKKSB YTRRIA N. Rev. John 11. Moktox. Pastor. Pleasant Hill —Urd Sabbath in each month. white ministers in the County, of every denomination, are requested to send in their appoint ments for publication. A’o charge whatever. TO Hie H orklis (Tims—Weare now prepared to furnish all classes with constant employment at home the w hole of the time or for their spare moments. Business new. liyrlit and profitable. Persons of either sex easily earn from 50 cents to $5 per evening, and a proportional sum by devoting: their whole time to the business. Boys and girls earn nearly as much as men. That all who see this notice may send tlieir address, and test the business, we make this unparalleled offer: To such as are not satisfied we will send one dollar to pay for the trouble of writing. Full particulars, samples worth several dollars to commence work on, and a cony of Home and Fireside, one of the largest and best Illustrated Publications, absent free by mail. Reader, if you want permanent, profitable work ad dress. Gkokck Stinson a. Cos., Portland. Maine. 23 PUD Alino Lar s e antl small, for Dealers, Tea unnumuo*! Si ores, Agents, etc. Twenty 9xll Chromes for SI.OO. rAKGEST ASSORTMENT in the world. George J and Martha \\ ashingtou. Pope Pius IX. Comic Subjects. Magnificent Crosses. Bints. Children, Fruit Flowers. Landscapes, etc. Two samples bv mail. 20 cents. Send stamp for superbly Illustrated catalogue. J. LATHAM A CO.. lIKAIHJI AHTEItS FOB FOUKUIX A AMERICAN CHKOMOS, 41!) Washington Street, Box 2154. (14) Boston. Mass. h. K. elm • nickebsow.; . y. h. wynn. CHILDS, MCKERSON & CO., Xo. IS Franklin HouiKt Building, Athena, (a., WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS IN II A lx* I >\\ . YRE, © IRON, STEEL , NAILS, HORSE and MULE SHOES , HORSE SHOE NAILS, AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS, Leads, Oils, Glass and Varnish, Harness Leather, Ml I L B U R JST WAGONS, COTTON , MANILLA AND JUTE RODE , C: rria ,T e and Saddlery Hardware, Felloes, Hubs, Spokes, Buggy Wheels, Axles, Springs, etc.. Rubber and Leather Belting, Mill Saws, Mill Findings, Anvils, Bellows, Vices, Hollow Ware, etc. Manufacturer’s agents for the sale of FAIRBANK S STANDARD SCALES, WINSHIP HKD SAWYER’S CELEBRATED COTTON GINS, Cider Mills, Syrup Mills and Evaporators, Watt Plows, Farmers’ Friend Plow, Pumps, Circular Saws, etc. age** Anif article in oar line not in stock, wit! be ordered when desired, with the least possible debt,,. CALL AXI) EXAMINE OUR STOCK AND DR ICES. 11 HAIiTWELLHIGII SCHOOL. I HE Spring Session for 1877 will open on Monday 29th of January, and con tinue for Five Scholastic Months. RATES OF TUITION PER SESSION OF FIVE MONTHS: Fourth Clans—Spelling, Reading, Writing SIO.OO Third Clu**—Arithmetic Grammar, Geography, ( Commenced) 15.00 Kerend Class- Higher English Branches 20.00 First Class—Classics, Higher Mathematic*, <tc 25.00 Contingent Ere per Session 1.00 Jlusic (Extra) 25.00 Tuition due at the close of the Session ; but if paid in advance, twenty per cent will be deducted from the above rates. Pupils, entering within two weeks of the opening, will pay fir the entire Session ; those entering after that time will pay for the remainder of the Session. No deduction made for absence, except in cases of sickness protracted for two weeks or longer at a time. Liberal deduction to Ministers of the Gospel of any sect. Stud/ ,m* will be required to conform to strict rules of discipline* both in and out of' WROoI. £ M. V. LOONEY, MRS. A. B. LOONEY. THE PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE. THE LOUISVILLE COURIER-JOURNAL. Largest, Best and Cheapest Family i’a por in the I'nlteii Slates. HENRY WATTERSON! FTfHE COTRIEB-JOIJBKAI. is a combination A (made in I-(!;<) of three old Louisville papers, viz: The JOVPXAL. established in 183(1; the COL’- FIF.F. ill 1843; and the DKMOCFAT. in 1844. Its reputation is national, as well as its circulation, and it is pronounced one of the ablest, spiciest, wittiest, strongest and best hi ranged patters in the world ; its matter being especially adapted to the Merchant, the Farmer. Ladies and ('liihl; cm The WeeklyContikk-Jochnai. is not n mere hasty hotch-potch thrown together from the daily edition, but a complete, able, spicy, family newspaper, care fully and intelligently edited in every <'•11111111 and paragraph. TO A GEXTS I XD CLUBS. 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[Postage in all cases prepaid by the Proprietors .] Specimen copies, list ot books and magazines, and descriptive circulars sent free on application. Letters should be addressed to W. X. IIALDEMAX, President Courier-Journal C os.. Louisville, Ity. The Augusta Constitut'onalist. OLDEST DEMOCRATIC I'A DEIi IN THE STATE. Published Daily. Tri-Weekly nnl Week ly. at Aiiffiista. t*’a. CHEAPEST DAILY IN THE SOUTH! DAILY : One Year SIX DOLLARS Six Mouths Three Dollars Three Months. One Dollar anil Fifty Cents TRI-WEEKLY: (>ne Year Four Dollars Six Months 1 Two Dollars WEEKLY: One Year Two Dollars Six Months One Dollar 15*° Cash ill all Cases. I Full Telegraphic Dispatcher from all points! Latest and most acouratelMarket Reports Interesting and Reliable fJorresponuence from all parts of Georgia.! South Carolina and Washington ! 1 GEORGIA and CA ROT. /.Y.l oil LOCAL XEWS A SI’RCIA LTI \ A i|i*THE CONSTITUTIWA-LIST, Außusta, Ga. I7y. THE SUN. PROSPECTUS. 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