Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

THE GEORGIA LEGISLATORS. ••Old B.’*“ Opinion of tone of tho Mom* bent of lit* I.eirUtlnlnro* JORDAN, OF HANCOCK. A lawyer. Large, tine specimen of a 1 Southern gentleman. flood speaker—a i diamond of the first water in the rough— always at his post. HAMMOND, OF THOMAS. A tall, fine-looking gentleman, called the “ silver-tongued orator of the Georgia Leg islature.” Don't speak often, when he does receives the whole attention of the House, and his words roll out as smooth as oil on glass. H. O. TURNER, OF BROOKS. Quiet, fine sense, good speaker, and always on the right side. Medium size and height, with a long head in every sense of the word. Could fill any office in the State with honor to himself and constitu ents. A. O. BACON, THE SPEAKER. The handsomest man in the State. Won the esteem and love of every member by his impartiality, firmness and kindness. The best presiding officer the House has ever had since the first assembling. H. H. CARLTON, OF CLARK. Needs no eulogy in this County, as he is well known as a good legislator. Fine speaker—always at his post—watchful as a tiger, and next to Bacon the handsomest man in the House. T. J. HAHRAIJSON, OF UNION. A bom orator. In a speech, describing his mountain country, the people, their want of a railroad and their claims upon the State, brought tears to my eyes, and I felt like slipping out to keep from voting against aid for the North Georgia and Ma rietta Railroad —but did not. His County ought to be proud of him. Xmiiing the Thliih. Max Adder in New York Weekly. A friend of Butterwick's who staid at his house a short time after the twins were born, overheard the following conversation between the fond parents one night after all hands had retired. He was in the ad joining room. Mrs. B.—What shall we call the twins, Ilenry. dear? B.—Oh, 1 dunno. Almost any good I names. How would Moses and Aaron do ? 5 or Cain and Abel ? Mrs. H.—You oi'ight to be ashamed of i yourself to want to name one of your own lehildren after a murderer! You might have hunted the whole Bible through with out finding anything worse? B.—o, well, call them Shadrach, Me shach, and Abednego then? Mrs. B.—You know very well that there are only two twins, and that they can't have three names divided equally between them. I hsttc Scripture names anyhow. I want to call them after some distinguished man. B.—Well, name one of them Butler and the other Schtlrz. Mrs. B.—l'd rather die on the spot than have a child of mine named after a shirt. # B.—How’ll Bismarck and Gortschakoff ■ suit you ? Mrs. B.—Butterwick. you know 1 can't abide those German names. You would inflict a curse on your innocent boy if you would send him through the world with such a name as Bismarck Butterwick. ou know very well you would. I prefer an American name. One that belongs to this 1 country. B.—Very well, then, call one of them * Spotted Tail and the other Hole-in-the l)ay. Those are indigenous to this conti- Lnent. 7 Mrs. B.—Mr. Butterwick, if you are |going to turn the subject into ridicule, 1 ■will get up and dress myself, andgodown- Istairs. Vou shan't insult me to my face, anyhow. You know well enough that 1 ■ meant some white American name. B.—How would Smith and Jones an | sw r er ? Mrs. B. —I’d rather bury both of them in one grave. Why don’t you suggest some ‘distinguished American name? j B. —O, all right; there’s Benedict Ar nold and Martin Van Buren. 0 Mrs. B.—They shall never have those I names with my consent. B.—How about Adams? \ Mrs. B.—That's only one name and | there are two babies. I B.—Well, call one “A ” and the other •* Dams,” Mrs. B.—Mr. Butterwick, if you use language like that again I*ll go home to mother’s this very night. B.—Well, then, if you must have the name of celebrated Americans, call one “ Tilly Slowboy'*and the other “Toodles.” Mrs. B— Were they prominent men'' I don’t remember hearing about them be fore. B.—Why, my dear, they both signed the Declaration of Independence, and Slow boy was Vice-President under Washington. If you want straight out revolutionary pa triots, those arc your men. Mrs. B.—What did Mr. Toodles do? B.—Louisa, I am surprised at your ig norance ! Don't you know that he com manded at Valley Forge ? IMrs. C.—l don't think much of their names, anyhow. Say over some others. B.—Lem me see. Well now, there’s Me phistopheles. and— Mrs. B—What did you say he did? B.—Did? Why he commanded the frig ate Constitution in the war of 1812, and he Was killed while nailing the American flag Bm the mast. Mrs. B.—And you want to name one of your children after him? *1.30 A YEAR. B.—Certainly. Why not? Noble old patriot ! Did he not die in defense of Why, Louisa, what are you going to do? Mrs. B.—Why, I'm going to quit this house and take the twins with me. and stay away forever. I know just as well as you do that Mephistopheles is another name for the devil. I’ve seen him at the opera. It is perfectly infamous for you to suggest such a name for your own flesh and blood. 1 don't believe in your Slowboys or Too dles either. I'in certain that you have been telling scandalous stories, and now 1 am going to leave. Then Butterwick was heard to use a per suasive tone with Mrs. 8., and finally she made it up with him. The twins were eventually baptised John and Henry. Van Bender lleiishpeeked T Scribner's Maya tine. Any shentleman vot vill go round pehind your face, und talk in front of your hack apout some tings, vas a shvindlcr. 1 beared dot Brown says veek pefore next apout me I vas a henshpecked huspant. Dot vas a lie ! De proof of de eating vas in the pud dings ; 1 am married twenty year already, und 1 vas yet not pald-tleadcd. I don't vas oondcr some pettygoats gofemments; shtill l tinks it vas petter if a feller vill in sult mit his vife nnd got her adivices apout sometings or oder. Deni American vomans don't know some tings nefer apout his huspant't peesness, und vhen dem hart times comes, und not so much money comes in dc house, dot makes not some tifierence mit her. Shtill she moosthave vone of dot pull-hack-in-de front hoop-skirt-petty-goats, mit every kind of trimmings. Booty soon dot huspant gets pankerupted all to pieces. I)ey send for de doctor; und vhen de doctor comes de man dies. Den dot vomans vas opliged to marrv mit anoder mans vot she don't maype like, mit four or six shildrens on account of his first vife already, und pos sohably vone or two mudders-by-law— vone second-handed, und de oder a shtep mudder-out-law. l)en she says mit herself. “ I efen vish dot 1 vas dead a little." Now if a Ghermans goes dead, dot don't make a pit of tifierence. Nopody vould hardly know it, except maype himself. His vife goes mit de peesness <*n shu*t like notings has happened to somebody. American vomans and Gherman vomans vas a titt'erent kind of peoblcs. For in shtinct, last year dot same feller, Mr. Brown, goes mit me in dc putcher peesness togeder. lie vas American man—so vas his vife. Veil, many time vhen cfery peo bles has got de panic pooty bad, dot vo mans conies to her huspant und says she must have money. Den she goes out rid ing mit a carriages. Vonce on a time Brown says to me, “Bender. E vouldn't be henshpecked.” So he vent off und got himself tight—shust because his vife telis him. “ Blease don't do dot.” Den he sits on his pack mit de lloor, und if I am not derc dot time he never vould got home. Veil, dot night me und my vife ve had a little talk apout sometings; und de next tay I says to Brown, “ Look here vonst! My vife she makes sausages, und vorks in dot shtore ; also my taugliter she vorks py de shtore und makes hcad-skeeses; und your vife vas going out riding all de times mit de horses-car, und a patent tied-back cardinal shtriped stockings. Now your vife moost go vork in de shtore und cut peefshteaks, und make sauerkraut, or else ve divide not equally any more dot profits.” Veil, Brown goes home und he tells his vife apout dot. Den she comes pooty quick mit Brown around, und ve had a misundershtanding apout sometings, in vich eferypody took a part, including ray lettle dog Kaiser. Pooty soon up comes a policemans und arrests us for preaches of promise to keep de pieces, und assaulting de battery, or sometings. Den dc firm of Bender und Brown vas proke up. 1 go apout my peesness, und Drown goes mit his peesness. My vife she helps in de shtore. His vife goes riding mit de horses-cars, und efery night she vas by de theater. Vat's de gonsequcnces? Along comes dot Centennial panic. Dot knocks Brown more higher as two kites, py Chimminy ! My income vas shtill more as my outcome. But Brown he goes round dot shtreets mit his hands out of his pockets, und he don't got a cent to his back. \j i‘ and Mtnnton. Washington Nation. Senator Nye went to Secretary Stanton once to make a petition for some dead sol dier's orphans. It was the darkest days of the war. Stanton said, “ I haven’t time, Mr. Nye, to see to what you want.” “Suppose you take time, Mr. Secre tary,” said Nye. “ You are unreasonable. Mr. Nye, in pressing such a thing at this time,” said Stanton. “ Permit me to say that you are the un reasonable man,” answered Nye. “ If you were not a United States Sena tor I should say you were very imperti nent,” said Stanton, haughtily. “If you were not a great Secretary of War I should be tempted to say you were making a fool of yourself,” replied the old Cray Eagle, with his eyes blazing. Stanton looked at him a moment, and then softening, said, “ Maybe I am. Jim ; who knows? Come inside and tell me all about it.” “ Now, Ned. my boy. you are growing sensible,” said Nye; and the business was quidkly arranged. HARTWELL, GA„ WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21, 1877. Th Model Subscriber. “ Good morning. sir; Mr. Editor, llow are your folks to-day ? I owe for your next year's paper ; I thought I'd come and pay. And Jones is to take it, And this is his money here ; I shut down tendin’ it (p him, And then coaxed him to try it a year. And here is a few items that happened Last week in our town : I thought they'd look good for the paper, And so I just jotted \ m down. And here's a bushel of russets. My wife picked expressly for you ; A small hunch of tlowers from Jennie. She thought she do something, too. You're doin’ the politics bully, As all our family agree ; Just keep your old goose quill a flappin', And give them a good one for me. And now you are chuck full of business. And I won't he takini.your time. I've things of my own 1 must tend to— Good day. sir, 1 believ ; 1 will climb.” The editor'sat in his sanctum. And brought down his fist with a thump. “ God bless that old farmer !” he muttered. “ He's a regular jolly trump.” And 'tis thus with our noble profession, And thus it will ever be still; There are some who appreciate its labor And some who perhaps never will. But in the great time that is coming When Gabriel's trumpet shall sound, And they who have labored and rested Shall come from the quivering ground ; And they who have striven and suffered To teach and ennoble the race, Shall march to the front of the column, Each one in his God-given place ; As they march through the gates of the City. With proud victorious tread, The editor and his assistants Will not he far from the head ! Wit and Humor. A man who had a scolding wife, being asked what he did for a living, replied that he kept a hot-house. A wit once askenj a peasant what part he performed in the gTeftl drama of life. “1 Blind my own business," was the reply. A person looking, at- a urn. skeletons the other day. asked a young doctor present where he got them. “We raised them," he replied. “Is the moon made of green cheese, youngster?” “No sir, certainly not.” “How do you prove that?” “Oh easy —the moon was made before the cows.” Thought I'd leave my measure on your floor said a man who fell down in a bar room. No necessity for that, said the bar keeper. we know exactly how much you hold. “ Smithers, how can you sleep so? The sun has been up these two hours.” “ Well, what if lie has?” said Smithers. “lie goes to bed at dark, while Pin up till after midnight.” •‘Bill,” said Bob, “why is that tree called the weeping willowP” “Cause one of them sneaking plaguy tilings grew near the school-house, and supplied the master with switches.” While waiting at a railroad station, one ministerial brother asked another what his well-fillen carpet-bag contained. The an swer was, referring to seven written ser mons : “ Dried tongue.” An Irishman went to live in Scotland for a short time, but didn't like the country. “ I was sick all the time I was there,” said he; “and if I had lived there till this time, Pd been dead a year ago !” While the Radical adversary disinte grates. the Democracy. North and South, should consolidate. The solid South holds the fort. The man who attempts to divide this section had better go drown himself. It was at the dinner of an Irish associa tion that the following toast was given : “ Here's to the President of the Society— Patrick O’ Rafferty: an'may he live to eat the chicken that scratches over his grave.” A German looked up at the sky, and re marked : “ I guess a leedle it vill rain some dime pootv queek.” “ Yees do eh?’ re plied an Irishman. ‘ What business have yees to purtend to know about Amerikin weither, ye furriner?” When a man without cash or credit, says the Oil City Derrick, attemps to leave a hotel, and lowers his valise out of a back window by means of a rope. It makes char ity seem cold to hear the voice of the land lord yelling out: “ All right. I've got the valise ; let go the rope.” Boy (explaining his geography lesson to his little sister)—” You see. sis. the inhab itants of South Africa don't need any clothes to keep them warm because they're Hotten tots. But the Coolies are a different kind of folks, and so are the Chili people. Don't you see ?” The fifteen members of the Commission were photographed ; and Harper's Wcekiy published woodcut portraits of them—very fair ones too. The sheet containing these portraits were hung up in the Times office. A stranger, stepping in to purchase a pa per, turned suddenly as he passed the por traits. and. pointing to Morton’s face, said : ” I saw that chap in the Toombs the day before he was hung!” lie was greatly mistaken in his man. “How like its father it is,” said the nurse on the christening of a baby whose father was seventy years old. “ Very like said a sartirieal lady ; bald, and not a tooth in its head.” A school boy was asked by his teacher to give an example of earnestness. He looked bothered for a moment, but his face brightening like the dew drops glisten ing on the leaves of the rose in early morning, as he delivered himself of the fol lowing happy thought: “ When you see a boy engaged on a nice pie till his nose touches the middle plum and his ears droop on the outer crusts, you may know he's got it.” Alas ! alas ! What a peculiar significance attaches to the following episode, which we clip from an exchange : A man bought a gallon of gin to take home, and, by way of a label, wrote his name upon a card, which happened to he the seven of clubs, and tied it to the handle. A friend coming along and observing the jug quietly re marked. “That's an awful careless way to leave that liquor!” “Why? said Tom. Because somebody might come along with ! the eight of clubs and take it.” I An up-town man and his wife agreed recently to learn a verse of Scripture every I evening and repeat it to each other for inu ! tual improvement. The first night how ever, her quotation happened to be, “Am j I not thy ruler ?" and tiis was to the effect that he'd he d—d if she was ; and the only result of the plan so far as has been learned is that lie has taken to drink, and exhibits a willingness to sleep in the woodshed at night. An old lad}'on a steamboat observed two men pumping up water to wash the deck, and the captain being near, she addressed him as follows : “ Well, captain, got a well on board,eh?” ‘•Yes, ma'am, always carry one,” said the polite captain. “Well that's clever. I always dislike this nasty river water, especially m dog days.” One of the fruit dealers of Portland caught an urchin stealing nuts, and pro ceeded to administer condign punishment. The boy begged to be released because lie had just been vacinnated from a fresh cow. “ What lias that to do with it?” shouted the infuriated fruit dealer. “She was a hooking cow and got it into iny blood,” was the whimpering reply. “Say, Pat, suppose satan was to come along now, and see both of us here, which do you suppose he would take—you or me ?” “ Oh, faith, yer honor! he'd take me.” “How so?” “ Well, sir,” said Pat, “he'd take me now, because be wouldn't be sure of me when he came again? but he'd be sure of you at any time and could afford to wait.” “Jake,” said the blushing damsel to a lover that her father had forbidden the house, “ 1 don’t care if your feet are big, I love you just as much.” “ Wall, Sally, 1 don't mind so much about the size of my own feet, but I wish your dad's were a little smaller; I should feel a little more confident, you know, about staying.” Two Hibernians were passing a stable which had a rooster on it for a weather vane, when one addressed the other thus : “ pat, what’s the rason they didn’t put a bin up there instid of a rooster ?” “An ’ sure,” replied Pat, “that’s aisy enough. Don't ye see it would be inconvenient to go up after the eggs ?” He had been in the habit of making very frequent calls on a very agreeable lady of his acquaintance, and on entering her par lor one evening, he said. “Well, Miss Sims, here I am again, you see, as regular as the fever and ague.” “Oh, no,” said she verv demurely, “that comes only every other day.” A citizen of Cherokee county who was taken to Atlanta the other day and com mitted to jail for violating the revenue laws, was asked if he hail any word he wished to send home. “No,” said he, “only I wish to send my wife word to have some more malt ready by the time 1 return.” A darkey who was stooping to wash his hands In a creek, didn't notice the peculiar action of a goat just behind him, so when he scrambled out of the water and was asked how it happened, be answered : “ I 'dunno zacldv ; but ’peared as ef de shore kinder h'isted and frovved me.” Poor Beak Woninu. Miss Susan Nipper, who lived in a small tenement, a lone woman, was uuite flatter ed the other morning by au early call from a bachelor neighbor. “ What do you coine here after?" said Miss Nipper. •• I came to borrow matches," he meekly replied. •• Matches! That's a likely story. YV by don't you make a match? I know what you came for." said the exasperated old virgin, as she backed the bachelor into a corner. “ You came here to hug and kiss me nearly to death ! But you shan’t with out you are the strongest, and the Lord knows that you are !” A New Method that cures Coughs, Colds, Bronchitis and Consumption. Dr. J. H. McLean's Cough and Lung Healing Globules. As they dissolve in your mouth, a healing gas is generated and inhaled, per meates and comes in direct cbutact, will cure Throat and Lung diseases. Trial Boxes, by mail, 25 cents. Dr. J. 11. Mc- Loaii. 314 Chestuut st., St. Louis. THE ENDING OF A LONG LIFE. C .plain Übrbuwh't One Hundred and Eleventh liirtbdn). An* York Herald. Yesterday (March 9th) was the 11 Uh birthday of the well known Captain T.shr busch, the oldest man of New York, if not or this country. In former vears the birth day of this remarkable centenarian was celebrated by a festive dinner, partly given in his honor by General John Watts de I‘eyster. and which was usually attended by a largo number of distinguished people. A few years ago, however, an exceedingly violent attack was made upon the genuine ness, so to speak, of Captain Lahrluiseh’s wonderful age. and since then this geninl custom has fallen into desuetude. It re mains an astonishing fact that this man of 111 years looked scarcely over seventy. His thin frame was bent, to he sure, but not more so than that of most men of Of* or 70. while his skin and complexion re tained a freshness which, together with the extraordinary absence of those tell tale indications of old age, crow's feet, seemed utterly incompatible with such a marvellous old age. This comparative youthfulness of Captain Lahrbuscli's ap pearance of course renders his case all the more remarkable. If he lias deceived the world it lias been one of the cleverest im positions of the age. The most promi nent men of New \ ork—Thurlow Weed, A. T. Stewart, and many others—have de lighted to do him honor, and it is eveu stated that ( aptain Lalirhusch has received for a long time a pension from a w ealthy citizen deeply interested in his extraordi nary history. While living on the second floor of a plain brick house on Third ave nue. just above Thirty-fourth street, ho would often breakfast at the residences of the wealthy on Fifth avenue, who would he anxious to hear him recount his remin iscences of a generation slumbering in their graves for the last fifty years. But it is due to Captain Lalirhusch to say that the weight of evidence is in his favor, and that nearly nil the prominent men who have in vestigated his case and made inquiries at the British War Office proclaim their belief in his claim to ho considered one of the very oldest men of the world, Captain Lnhrbusch’s birthday yesterday was not celebrated even in the retirement ol his home because of his serious illness. It is sad to contemplate that this eventful life is at last drawing to a close. On Thurs day lie called Mr. McGrath, an old friend who keeps a furniture shop in the same house, and told him in mournful and feeble accents that he believed this was his last illness and that he knew he never could re cover. He was stretched upon a lounge and looked worn and pallid. His voico had wofully failed, his skui was shrivelled, and the change that had come over him was indued sad to look at. 11c complained that his anpotite was entirely gone ; that he suffered much pain, and seemed to bo utterly prostrate. Ho was greatly de pressed mentally, and in spite of his 111 years the old man seemed loth to depart from a world the sweets of which he had enjoyed far beyond the period allotted to most men. Mr. McGrath stated that he had contracted the present serious illness some five weeks ago, when he went out one raw and hitter morning to call upon Mrs. A. T. Stewart. He was urged not to go, but replied that he had not seen Mrs. Stewart, who was an old friend of his, since the death of her husband, and would not lie dissuaded. Immediately upon his return from that fatal visit he was stricken down, and the neighbors who have seen him all declare that the end cannot long he deferred. Ilis life is fast ebbing away, they say, and they all kindly regret the foolhardiness with which he provoked his present illness. It is no easy task even for one who has read a sketch of Captain Lahrhusch’s life, and who is familiar with the date of his birth—March !>, 1700 —to realize the matter of fact significance of his wondrous age. Is it not difficult to realize that this man was born three years before Napoleon L, who has been dead these fifty-six years; that at his birth Louis XV. ruled m long suffering France, that Maria Theresa anil Frederick the Great swayed the sceptres of Austria and Prussia, that William Pitt was only a boy of seven, and that Madame de Stael was born in the same year? We may think of these things by an effort of mem ory, hut who can call that time vividly be fore the mind and associate it with the life of one who. until a few weeks ago took his meals regularly and might be seen riding down town in a Third avenue ear any fine day a hale and hearty old man ? The dim and faded historical past seems to spring into life and flesh in the presence oi this living remnant of an epoch long, long gone by. it seems almost impossible to believe that this man was a friend of Blucher, knew Marshal Ney, Eugene, Victor and Lefevre ; that he fought under Sir Arthur Wellesley in the Peninsular war. and kept guard at Napoleon's prison at St. Helena sixty long eventful years ago. His strange history would fill a thrilling chapter of ro mance. Entering the British army at an early age, fighting against Napoleon's he roes during the most memorable years of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, re tiring finally at fifty-two from active ser vice, and marrying the wife of his bosom, then suffering shipwreck and losirg both wife and fortune—the latter the savings of a whole life—and finally living to be re vered for his venerable past by the mem bers of a generation who look upon him as some wondrous monumental relic of an tiquity—surely this is no ordinary career, and it becomes even more astonishing when the perilous scenes through which he pass ed unharmed are remembered. It almost seeins as though he bore a charmed life and as though a special Providence had watched over him in order to preserve him to us as one of the greatest centenarians of the age. The proprietor of the Savannah Ncw offers two liberal prizes for original stories to be published in the Weekly New# and Sunday Telegram. NUMBER 30.