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FUNNY SAYINGS AND DOINGS. New York offers h prize to the man who will invent a plan by which street cars can he rnn without horses. Try mules. Ask us something hard. The letter was to his mother : “ Dear Ma —Send me a clean pair of socks and somthing to eat; also a clean handker chief and something to eat.” Cleveland young women write comments on the margin of the library volumes they read. One emotional creature writes, “ the pangs of love is great i have ben there myself.” IV henever a man, who has been arrested for being •* tight,” calls at a New Orleans newspaper office, and asks to have his name suppressed, they call it “ A Suppressed Tigntem,” and publish it anyhow. Nobody likes tobenoboby; but every body is pleased to think himselfsomebody. And everybody is somebody ; but when anybody thinks himself everybody, he gen erally thinks everybody else is nobody. How apt is the Josh Hillings’ descrip tion of a mule : 44 The mewl is a larger bird that the guse or turkey. It has two legs to walk with, and two more to kick with, and wears its wings on the side of its head.” Moliere was asked the reason why, in certain countries, the king may assume the crown at fourteen years of age, and cannot marry before eighteen. “It is, ’’answered Moliere, “ because it is more difficult to rule a wife than a kingdom.” A German citizen was called on ns a witness in a case before one of the justices lately, ami when the oath was administer ed, ho raised both hands, and said : 44 If I spoke noddings what ain't drew, if ever I hope to die so quick as a minute !” A New York school master told a young miss that the word “ obligatory ” meant binding, whereupon she laid her head upon her hand, and after a moments cogitation, handed the teacher this sentence —“The obligatory of my spelling hook is worn out.” He fainted. A young and good looking bachelor min ister. who recently took charge of an up country church, rather astonished the Hock the first Sunday by announcing that he proposed getting up a girls’ Bible class right off. and he wanted to embrace every young woman within the sound of his voice. The New York World thinks Hayes is in the same predicament about Louisiana and South Carolina as the intrepid hunter, who once secured a “ tail holt ” on an immense black bear, and shortly afterwards was heard bellowing for help. “ What do you want help for?” inquired a comrade. “ I want someone to help mo let go of this bear,” replied the hunter. A book agent, who has retired from active labor upon the hard-earned accumu lations of a life of industrious check, says that the great secret of his success was that when he went to a house where the female head of the family presented her self, he always opened by saying : “ T beg your pardon, miss; but it was your mo ther 1 wanted to see.” “ That always used to gcs ’em. They not only subscri bed for my books themselves, but told me where I could find more customers.” Cards are still played at the White House, though the alluremants of draw-poker play ed with all its pristine ferocity do not fasci nate our pastoral President, who delights rather in the more innocent excitement of “old maid ” and “beggar my neighbor.” The other evening they were making up a party, but had only secured three players, when one of their number called heedless ly and perhaps innocently to Mr. Haves: “Mr. President shall we count you in?” An awkward silence succeeded, and Mr. Hayes turned red as fire, but Mr. Schurz seated himself at the piano and played some selections from the “ Battle of Prague ” and diverted the attention of the company till Senator Stanley Matthews and Mr. Charles Foster had removed the unfortu nate individual and crucified him. — World. The Brattleboro (N. C.) Advance says : “ Our devil says that the first ’returning board ’ of which he has any recollection was a shingle in the hands of his father. The three—father, son and shingle—used to hold frequent committee meetings in :he back shed, but the returns came in so swiftly that a fair count was impracti cable.” An old negro slumbering with bis feet to a glimmering fire opens one eye and gets a glimpse of them as they stand in the ob scurity. Mistakes them for little negroes, and cries. “ Gif fain fore me !” and relapsed into sleep. After a while opens the other eye, and still seeing the intruder, says : “ Gif fum fore me, 1 say! I kick you in de fire if you don’t—l will shuah !” and and again he snores. His dreams not being pleasant he soon opens both eyes, and still seeing the pests he draws up his feet for his threatened kick, but is alarmed to see the enemy advance upon him and exclaims : “ Wha-whar you comin to now ? ” “Humph ! my own foot, by golly !” The Biggest I.ic. An English Bishop lately told this good story at nis own expense. He was in the habit of traveling incognito about his par ish, after the fashion of “the good Haroun Alraschid,” and in one of his walks came upon a group of men who were wrangling over some matter. “ W<eU, ray good men,” said his lordship, “ what are you doing?” The response of one of the men was not calculated to please and encourage the amiable prelate. “ We bin a loin’,” he said. “LyingT” exclaimed thofiojrified Bishop. “ what do you mean?” W “Why, ycr see, was the explanation, 44 one of us fun’ a kittle, an’ wo bin atryin’ who can tell the biggest lie to have it.” “Shocking!” said the Bishop; and straightway improving the occasion, lie proceeded to impress upon the sinners the enormity of lying. Me informed them that be had In,or. taught, that, onenf th greatest sins was to tell a lie. and. in fact, so strong ly had this been urged upon him. that never in the whole course of his life had he tohl a lie. No sooner had the excellent Bishop made this announcement than there was a gleeful shout: “ (lie the governor the kittle! Gic the governor the kittle!” Juilxo Marshall an<l I lie Turkey. OoUleii. Thread*. Chief Justice Marshall was a great man ; but great men are not apt to be proud. Me was not too proud to wait upon himself, lie was in the habit of going to market him self, and carrying home his purchases. Often would he be seen going home at sun rise with poultry in one hand and vegeta bles in the other. On one of these occa sions a fashionable young man from the North, who had removed to Richmond, was swearing violently because lie could find no one to carry home his turkey. Judge Marshall’stepped up and asked where lie lived. When he heard, he said. “ That is my way ; 1 will take your tur key home for yon.” When they came to the house the young man asked, “what shall 1 pay you?” “ Oh, nothing,” said the judge, “you arc welcome ; it was all in my way, and it was no trouble to me.” 44 Who is that polite old man who brought home my turkey for me?” asked the young man of a bystander. 44 Oh,” said he, “that was Judge Mar shall. Chief Justice of the United States.” “Why did Ac bring home my turkey ?” “1 suppose he did it,” said the by stander, “to teach you not to feel above attending to your own business.” Sings Like a Bird. The delightful effects of this new principle. Dr. J. 11. McLean's Cough and l.ung Healing Glob ules. As the saliva in the mouth acts on the Globule a gas is generated which soothes and heals irritation of the throat and' lungs, makes the voic clear as a bird, cures Hoarseness, Coughs, Colds and Con sumption. Trial Boxes, by mail. 25 cents. Dr. J. 11. McLean, 014 Chestnut st., St. Louis, Mo. llnrt County lHreclory. COI'XTV OFSICKItH. Ordinary —Fred. C. Steplienaon. Clerk Superior Court —C. A. Wbb. Sheriff —J. Robert Myers, Tax Receiver —J. M. Thornton. Tax Collector —James 1,. Johnson, Treasurer —J. O. Bobo. Surveyor —Alien S. Turner, Coroner — K. Phillips. School Commissioner —Clins. W. Seidel. TOWN OFFICERS. Mayor —. John Peek. Secretary and Treasurer —W. R. Stephenson. Connciliacn —K. Is. llonson. James w. Williams, W. 11. Stephenson, K. 11. Sunders. W. R. Stephenson Hurt County Itclixtou* llrectory. METHODIST. Rev. W. P. Smith. Pastor. Hethesda— lst Sabbath in each Month. Hartwell —‘2nd “ and Saturday before. Mt. /.ion —2nd “ at t p. m. Cokesbury —:ird Sabbath In each month. I’rovidence —4th “ Rev. John Quillan, Pastor. Pellotcship — Sabbath in each month. Red trine — “ Macedonia — " at 4 p. m. BAPTIST. Rev. 11. M. Barton, Pastor. Hartwell —4th Sabbath and Saturday before. Rev. J. T. W. Vernon. Pastor. Milltown —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Rev. L. W. Srui’HKXS, Pastor. Hendry's —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Rev. James H. McMit.t.rx, Pastor. Line —3rd Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Reed Creek —4th “ Sardis —lst “ Rev. T. 11. (loss. Pastor. Cross Roads —4th Sabbath and Saturday before. Rev. JOHN I). Adams. Pastor. Caution's —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, monthly. Rev. J. R. Kaui.k. Pastor. Sardis 2d Sabbath in each month. Rev. Thomas Chymes. Shoal Creek —2d Sabbath and Saturday before, mo'ly. PRESBYTERIAN. Rev. John B. Morton. Pastor. Pleasant Hill —3rd Sabbath in each month. !*T All white ministers in the County, of every denomination, are requested to send in their appoint ments for publication. A'o charge whatever. R. T. BRUMBY & CO., DRUGGISTS ak„ PHARMACISTS, DEALERS IN DRUGS, CHEMICALS , PA TENT MEDICJNES , DRUGGISTS’ SUNDRIES, Window Glaus, Paints , Oils, Lamps , Glass Shades, Chamois Skins, Sponges, &/-c., fyc., Manufacturers of King’s Toilet Powder, Agen(t) for F. G. Otto A Sons' Surgical lustrumenU-Sold at New York Prices, College Avenue, between Bookstore and Post-Office, 11 ATHENS, GA. CHEAPEST AM) BEST STOVES & TIN A \ . ARE IN THE SOUTH. AT A. K. CHILDS k CO’S, ATHENS, GEORGIA. Ayer’s Sarsaparilla IFor Scrofula, and all scrofulous diseases, Erysi pelas. Rose, or St. Antho ny’s Eire, Eruptions and Eruptive diseases of the skin, Ulcerations of the Liver, Stomach, Kidneys, Lungs, Pimples, Pustules, Boils, Blotches, Tumors, Tetter, Salt llheum. Scald Head. Ringworm, Ulcers, Sores, Rheumatism. Neuralgia, Pain in the Bones, Side and Head. Female Weakness, Sterility, Leucorrhnea, arising from internal ulceration, and Uterine disease, Syphilitic and Mercurial dis eases, Dropsy, Dyspepsia, Emaciation. General Debility, and for Purifying the Blood. This Sarsaparilla is a combination of vegetable alteratives Stillingia, Man drake, Yellow Dock —with the lodides of Potassium and Iron, and is the most elficacious medicine yet known for the diseases it is intended to cure. Its ingredients are so skilfully com bined, that the full alterative effect of each is assured, and while it is so mild as to be harmless even to children, it is still so effectual as to purge out from the system those impurities and corruptions which develop into loathsome disease. The reputation it enjoys is derived from its cures, and the confidence which prominent physicians all over the coun try repose in it, prove their experience of its usefulness. Certificates attesting its virtues have accumulated, andjare constantly being received, and as many of these cases are publicly know’n, they furnish convincing evidence of the superiority of this Sar saparilla over every other alterative medicine. So generally is its superi ority to any other medicine known, that we need do no more than to assure the public that the best qualities it has ever possessed are strictly maintained. PREPARED BY Dr. J. C. AYER it CO., Lowell, Mass., Practical and Analytical Chmiists. SOLD BX ALL DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE. E. B. BENSON & CO., Agents, Hartwell, Ga. 107 V. THE HARTWELL SUB. PROSPECTUS. THE IIARTWELL SUN will be a Democratic Journal, devoted to the in terests of the People. The Latest News will be furnished from all parts of the country, culled with care, and given in condensed form. General Reading Matter on Politics, Agriculture, Commerce, Finance, Lit erature, etc., will find due space in our columns. Local Items will be sought assidu ously, and will be a distinctive feature. In fine, THE SUN intends to he a Paper for the People, and our objects in publishing this Journal are to give the public reliable information and the latest news, together with political views in accord with their own, as also to furnish means of support and consequent com petence to those engaged iu the enter prise. THE SUN has been placed at the exceedingly low price of ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF. We commend THE SUN to your consideration, and bespeak your patron age. We hope to receive such encour agement as will compensate our en deavors. CLUB RATES: Clubs of Ten subscribers will be enti tled to an extra copy. BENSON & McGILL, Publishers. Old papers for sale at this otiice. A. K. CHILDS. R. NICKERSON. Y. H. WYNN. CHILDS, NICKERSON & CO, No. 15 Franklin House Building-, Athens da., WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS IN HARDWARE, IRON, STEEL, NAILS, HORSE and MULE SHOES, HORSE SHOE NAILS, AGRICULTURAL IM PLEME NT S, Leads, Oils, Glass and Varnish, Harness Leather, M IL JB URN WAGONS, COTTON , MANILLA AND JUTE ROPE , Carriage and Saddlery Hardware, Felloes, Hubs, Spokes, Buggy Wheels, Axles, Springs, etc.. Rubber and Leather Belting, Mill Saw r s, Mill Findings, Anvils, Bellows, Vices, Hollow Ware, etc. Manufacturer's agents for the sale of FAIRBANK S STANDARD SCALES, WINSHIP AND SAWYER’S CELEBRATED COTTON 6INS, Cider Mills, Syrup Mills and Evaporators, Watt Plows, Farmers’ Friend Plow, Pumps, Circular Saw's, etc. Any article in ovr line not in stock, will be ordered when desired , with the least possible delay. CALL AND EXAMINE OUR STOCK AND PRICES. 11 THE HARTWELL HNIH .SCHOOL X HE Spring Session for 1877 will open on Monday 29th of January, and con tinue for Five Scholastic Months. t < T RATES OF TUITION PER SESSION OF FIVE MONTHS : Fourth Class—Spelling- Reading-, Writing 810.00 Third Class—Arithmetic, Grammar, Geography. ( Commenced) 15.00 Nerond Class- Higher English Krnurhcs 20.00 First Class—Classics, Higher Mathematics, Ac 25.00 Contingent Fee per Session 1.00 Music (Extra) 25.00 Tuition clue at the close of the Session ; but if paid in advance, twenty per cent will he deducted from the above rates. Pupils, entering within two weeks of the opening, will pay for the entire Session ; those entering after that time will pay for the remainder of the Session. No deduction made for absence, except in cases of sickness protracted for two weeks or louger at a time. Liberal deduction to Ministers of the Gospel of any sect. Students will be required to conform to strict rules of discipline, both in and out of School. M. V. LOONEY, MRS. A. B. LOONEY. BRIDGES SMITH’S PAPER. 1,011 | s-S, "-I ' JL #I.OO A YEAR. X “-..-J A live, newsy paper from the Capital, full of chat, gossip, original sketches, paragraphs and mentions of all kinds. Just the kind of a paper to drive away blues and give the world a bright ami cheerful look. A good agent wanted in every town in the South, to whom a liberal commission will he paid. Send stamp for a specimen copy or enclose one dollar and receive the paper for one year. Address BRIDGES SMITH’S PAPER. Atlanta, Ga. To the Work ins' Clast* —We arc now prepared to furnish all classes with constant employment at home the whole of the time or for their spare moments. Business new, liiilit and profitable. Persons of either sex easily earn from r>o cents to $5 per evening, and a awtional sum by devoting their whole time to the ness. Boys and girls earn nearly as much as men. That all who see this notice may send their address, and test the business, we make this unparalleled otter: To such as are not satisfied we will send one dollar to pay for the trouble of writing. Full particulars, samples worth several dollars to commence work on, and a copy of Home and Fireside, one of the largest and best Illustrated Publications, all sent free by mail. Reader, if you want permanent, profitable work, ad dress, George Stinson & Cos., Portland, Maine. ‘23 nUDnMAC Large and small, for Dealers, Tea UnnUmUOi Stores, Agents, etc. Twenty 9xll Chromos for SI. 00. IAEGKST ASSORTMENT in the world. George J and Martha Washington, Pope Pius IX, Comic Subjects. Magnificent Crosses, Birds, Children, Fruit Flowers, Landscapes, etc. Two samples by mail, 20 cents. Send stamp for superbly illustrated catalogue. .1. I, AT 11 AM A CO., HEAPyI’AKTEKB FOIt FOREIGN A AMERICAN CHHOMOS, 419 Washington Street, Box 2,154. (14) Boston, Mass. Can't be made by every agent every month in the business we furnish, but those willing to work can earn a doz en dollars a day right in their own lo- I calities. Have no room to explain here. Business pleasant and honorable. Women, and boys and girls do as well as men. We will furnish you a complete outfit free. The business pays better than anything else. We will bear expense of starting you. Particulars free. Write and see. Farmers and me chanics, their sons and daughters, and all classes in need of paying work at homo, should write to us and learn all about the work at once. Now is the time. Don’t delay. Address TRUE & Cos., Augusta, Maine. THE PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE. THE LOUISVILLE COURIER-JOURNAL. Largest. Best ami Cheapest Family Pa per in tlic United Slates. EDITED BY HENRY WATTERSON! rpilE COl IUKR-JOI ItVAI. is a combination (made in 1868) of three old Lonisvillc pajierH, viz: The JOURNAL, established in 1830: the COU RIER, in W4D, and the DEMOCRAT, in 1844. 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