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Tom Rtierldaui. Tom Sheridan, who, to kindness of heart and sweetness of disposition, added social talents, which, if not of the high and com manding order of his father's were infinite ly more agreeable to those who knew him, used to tell a story, for and against himself —and here it is : He was staying at Lord Craven’s, at Ben ham (or rather Hampstead), and one day proceeded on a shooting excursion, like Hawthorn, with only “ his dog and his gun,” on foot, and unattended by compan ion or keeper; the sport was bad; the birds few and shy, and he walked and walked in search of game, while uncon sciously he entered the domain of some neighboring squire. Avery short time after, ho perceived advancing toward him. at the top of his speed, a jolly, comfortable-looking gentle man, followed by a servant, armtd, as it appeared, for conflict. Tom took up a position and waited for the approach of the enemy. “ Hallo ! you, sir. M said the squire when within half earshot; “ what are you doing here, sir, eh?’’ “ I’m shooting, sir,” said Tom. “Do you know where you are, sir?” said the squire. “ I am here, sir,” said Tom. “Here, sir?” said the squire, growing angry. “ and do you know where here is, sir? These, sir. are my manors; what d'ye think of that, sir, eh?” “ Why, sir, as to your manners said Torn. “1 can’t say they seem over agree able.” “ I don’t want any jokes, sir,” said the squire. “ I hate jokes. Who are you, sir —what are you?” “Why, sir” said Tom, “my name is Sheridan—l am staying at Lord Craven's —I came out for some sport—l have not had any and I am not aware that I am trespassing.” 1 “ Sheridan !” said the squire, cooling a little. “Oh! from Lord Craven’s, eh? Well, sir, I could not know that.” “No,” said Tom, “but you need not have been in a passion.” “Not in a passion, Mr. Sheridan,” said the squire, “you don’t know, sir, what these preserves have cost me, and the pains and trouble I have been at with them ; it’s all very well for you to talk, but if you were in my place, I should, like to know what you would do upon such an occasion.” “Why, sir,” said Tom, “ if I were in your place, under all the circumstances, I should say : ‘ 1 am convinced, Mr. Sheri dan, that you did not mean to annoy me. and as you look a good deal tired, perhaps | you’ll come up to my house and take.some refreshment.’ ” The squire was hit hard by this noncha lance. and it is needless to add, acted upon Sheridan’s suggestion. “So far,” said poor Tom, “the story tells for me—now you shall hear the sequel.” After having regaled himself at the squire’s house, and having said five hun dred more good things than he swallowed ; having delighted his host, and more than half won the hearts of his wife and daugh ters, the sportsman proceeded on his re turn homeward. In the course of his walk he passed through a farm-yard. In the front of the farm house was a green, in the centre of which was a pond—in the pond were ducks innumerable, swimming; on its verdant banks a motley group of gallant cocks and pert pullets, picking qnd feeding; the farmer was leaning over the hatch of the barn, which stood near two cottages on the side of the green. Tom hated to go back with an empty bag; and having failed in his attempts at higher game it struck him as a good joke to ridicule the exploits of the day himself, Hn order to prevent any one else from doing so for him. and he thought that to carry home a certain number of the domestic in habitants of the pond and its vicinity, would serve the purpose admirably. Ac cordingly up he goes to the larmer and ac costs him very civilly. “My good friend,” says Tom, “I'll make you an offer.” “ Of what, sur?” says the farmer. “ Why,” replies Tom. ”1 have been out all day fagging after birds and haven’t had a shot. Now, both my barrels are loaded. I should like to take home something. What shall I give you to let me have a shot with each barrel at those ducks and fowls —I standing here and to have whatever I kill ?” “ What sort of a shot are you ?” said the farmer. “ Fairish,” said Tom, “fairish.” “ And to have all you kill,” said the larmer, “ eh ?” “ Exactly so,” said Tom. “ Half a guinea,” said the farmer. “ That's too much,” said Tom. “ I'll tell you what I’ll do. I'll give you a sev en-shilling piece, which happens to be all the money I have in my pocket.” “ Well,” said the man, “ hand it over." The payment was made. Tom, true to his bargain, took his post by the barndoor I and let fly with one barrel and then with 'the other, and such a quacking and splash ing and screaming and fluttering had never been seen in that place before. Away ran Tom, and delighted with his success picked up first a hen, then a chicken, then fished out a dying duck or two, and so on, until he numbered eight head of domestic game, with which his bag was nobly distended. “ Those were right good shots, sir,” said the farmer. “Yes,” said Tom: “eight ducks and fowls are more than you bargained for. old fellow—worth rather more than seven shillings, eh?” “ Why, yes.” said the man scratching his head, k *l think they be ; but what do I care for thtM-thtyfrt none of them mine." “ Here,” said Tom. “ I was once in mv life beaten, and made off as fast as I could, for fear the right owner of my game might make his appearance —not but that I could have given the fellow that took me in seven times as much as I did for his cunning and coolness.” “It Will o.” “It will do !” is the common phrase of those who neglect little things. “It will do !” has blighted many a character, blast led many a fortune, sunk many a ship, I turned down many a house, and irretrieva- VOL. II—NO. 7. bl v ruined thousands of hopeful projects of human good. It always means stopping short of the right thing. It is a make shift. It is a failure and defeat. Not what “ will do,” but what is the best possible thing to do, is the point to be aimed at ! Let a man once adopt t.he maxim of “ It will do!” and he is given over to the enemv —he is on the side of incompetency anil defeat—and wegive him up as a hopeless subject. Bvlkb'n ltlenalttif. Detroit Free Frees. Thomn° Briggs has a boy baby about ten months old, who is admitted in the be ginning of this article to look just like his father, and to be the smartest boy baby of his age in Detroit. The other morning the child was sitting on the floor, playing with five or six buttons on a string, and taking an occasional nibble at an apple to bring out his first crop of teeth. Mrs. Briggs and a neighbor were talking away as only woman gossip, when the baby hid the but tons under the mat and started to finish the apple. A bit of skin got in the throat and he gave a cough ana a whoop and pawed the air and rolled over on his head. “ Oh, them buttons !” he has swallowed them buttons 1” cried the mother, as she yanked him up and shook him. “ Pound him on the back !” yelled the other woman, trying to hold the baby’s legs still. “ Hun for the neighbors!” cried Mrs. Briggs. “Oh, he’ll die? he'll die!” screamed the other, as she ran out. And the neighbors came in and made him lie on his stomach and cough, and then turned him on his back and rubbed his stomach, and juggled him about all sorts of ways, until he got mad and he went to howling. Then a boy ran for Briggs, ran for a doctor, ami the doctor came and choked the baby and or dered sweet oil and a mustard plaster, and told them to hold him on his back. Every body knew that those six big buttons were lodged in the baby’s throat, because he was red in the face, and because he stran gled as he howled and wept. They poured down sweet oil, and put mustard across him and wept over him, and the mother said she never could forgive herself. Bogs drove by calling out: “ Slab wood for sale !” and the scissors man went by shout ing, “Sharp! sharp!” but that distressed crowd held the baby down and shed their tears over his whole length. The doctor was looking serious and Briggs was think ing that he hadn’t done anything to de serve such a blow, when one of the women pushed the mat and discovered the buttons. Then everybody laughed and danced, thev kicked the sweet oil bottle under the bed, threw the mustard plaster at the doctor, and Mrs. Briggs hugged the howling angel to her bosom and called him her “ wopsy topsy hopsy dropsy popsy little bitsy titsy cherubim.” A Might Touch of Hell-Fire. A young parson of the llniversalist faith, many years since, when the Simon pure Universalism was preached, started westward to attend a convention of his brethren in the faith. lie took the precau tion to carry a vial of cayenne pepper in his pocket, to sprinkle his food with as a preventive against ague and fever. The convention met; and at dinner a tall lloos ier observed the parson as he seasoned his meat, and addressed him thus: “ Stranger I’ll thank you for a leetle of that ’ere red salt, for I’m kind o’ curious to try it.” “Certainly,” returned the parson, “ but you will find it very powerful; be careful how r you use it.” The Hoosier took the proffered vial, and feeling himself proof against any quantity of raw whiskey, thought he could stand the “red salt” with impunity, accordingly he sprinkled the chunk of beef rather boun tifully with it, and forthwith introduced it into his capacious mouth. It soon began to take hold. lie shut his eyes, and his features begun to writhe, denoting a very inharmonious condition, physically. Fi nally he could stand it no longer. He opened his mouth and screamed “ fire.” “Take a drink of cold water from the jug,” said the parson. “ Will that put it out?” asked the mar tyr, suiting the action to the word. In a short time the unfortunate man began to recover, and turning to the parson, his eyes yet swimming in water, exclaimed : “Stranger, you call yourself a “ Versa list,” I believe?” “ I do,” mildly answered the parson. “ Wal. I want to know if it is consistent with your belief to go about with hell-fire in your breeches pockets ?’ ’ Liquor and Inebriation. Of alcoholic liquors there are produced annually about 56,000.000 gallons in the United States. This does not include wine beer or ale. It is estimated that there is a saloon for each 3.000 inhabitants in this country. In large cities the proportion is greater and in the country it is somewhat less. Dr. McKinley, in the statistics of inebriation in the United States, gives the following figures as to the precentage of drinkers in the United States : In 5,000,- 000 men there are 50.000 confirmed inebri ates. In one thousand there are drinkers oi all kinds 593 L In 5,000,000 men there are who drink sometimes 2,966,666|. In 1,000 women there are who drink 142 6-7. In 5,000,000 there are who drink to some extent 714,285 5-7. In 5,000,000 women there is confirmed inebriates 21,419 4-7. Of each 300 men there are three confirmed in ebriates, twenty-five periodical drinkers, fifty ephemeral drinkers, and 100 moderate drinkers, leaving 122 non-drinkers. Of 700 women three are confirmed inebriates, fourteen drink periodically, thirty-six drink beer or ale constantly, seventeen taste ardent spirits, and thirty taste wine occasionally, leaving 600 non-^drinkers. HARTWELL, GA., WEDNESDAY, OCTORER 10, 1577. , A (Aoverner'k NMiikv. A New York correspondent describJ#hn adventure that happoned to one of the del egation of seven governors, who recently visited the metropolis. The writer says : One of the excellencies had an adventure not unlike one that befell Mr. Picwick on a certain occasion. It was late when he started for his room in the hotel, and when he was ready to retire it occurred to him that he had forgotten to return a document that another excellency had loaned him during the day. The other excellency had a room on the same floor, and excellency No 1. made his way to it without any trouble. After delivering the paper, with thanks, he started buck to his own room, and was just opening a door to go in when a man coming out in a hurry almost upset him. “ What are you doing here sir ?” ex claimed tho governor when he breath back. * “ What do you want here?” echoed t other party, looking mad enough to bite. “Unless you explain vour business, I will call an officer.” observed his excel lency with an idea of burglars just getting into his head. “(Jo to the deuce, you old fool,” was the uncivil response of the other. t The governor muttered something, and was putting his hand on the door-knob again to enter the room, when a stronger hand grabbed him by the collar and yanked him back about four feet. He recovered himself and made a wild clutch, but the other party dodged and tjien grabbed him by the collar again. There was a tussel for a moment and then a woman’s voice called from the room : * “ Thomas, what's the matter?” “An old fool here wa|ts to go into our room, and I won’t let him. That's all.” “ Call an officer, Thortias. at once !” The governor now saw a mistake some where. He was profuse in his apologies and the other man let him off. A watch man appeared and conducted his excellency to his own room, and when he had locked himself in he took a solemn oath that he would never again hunt up another man’s room at midnight in a strange hotel. First Thin**. Titusville Herald. Envelopes w’ere first used in 1839. Trie first steel pen was made in 18,50. The first air pump was made in 1650. Anaesthesia was first discovered in 1844. The first balloon ascent was made in 1783. The first lucifer match was made in 1829. The entire Hebrew Bible was printed in 1488. The first iron steamship was built in 1830. Ships were first “ copper-bottomed ” in 1773. Coaches were first used in England in 1509. The first horse railroad was built in 1826-7. Cold was first discovered in California in 18-18. The first steamboat plied the Hudson in 1807. The first watches were made in Nurem burg, in 1477. Omnibuses were introduced in New York in 1830. The first newspaper advertisement ap peared in 1652. The first copper cent was coined in New Haven in 1687. Kerosene was first used for lighting pur poses iu 1826. The first telescope was probably used in England in 1608. The first saw-maker’s anvil was brought to America in 1619. The first use of a locomotive in this country was in 1829. The first almanac was printed by George Von l’urbach in 1460. The first chimneys were introduced into Rome from Padua in 1368. The first printing press in the United States was introduced in 1629. The first steam engine on this continent was brought from England in 1753. Glass windows were first introduced into England in the eighth century. The first complete sewing machine was patented by Elias Howe, Jr., in 1846. Ail Imllirnnnt Subscriber. Talbotton Standard. A gentleman who came down from Lexington Saturday was asked how times were in that section. He said : “ About all I have heard of lately is a joke on an editor who, going away, left his paper in charge of a minister. During the min ister’s sta}' in his sanctum, the following letter came from a mountain subscriber : “ You know and and weil I paid my sub scription to your paper the last time I was in Lexington. If 1 get any more such let ters from you as I received last week, I will come down to Lexington and maul h—l out of you !” The minister answered : “ I have been trying to maul that thing out of the editor for ten years past, and if you will really come down and maul it out of him, then, my dear sir, I have twenty members of my church I will also get you to operate on.” The Skirt ttrnb There was the land “grab.” and the sal ary “grab,” but the most universal “grab” since the day the Children of Israel •* grabbed ” quails in the wilderness is the one made nowadays by every man’s wife or sweetheart, as she drops her left shoulder, gracefully swings the upper half of her body around toward the rear, and “ grabs ” a handful of skirt, straightens up and moves off with a face full of holy and calm content and an aureole of serene sat isfaction illustrating her countenance. The idea was prflbaWk cribbed from the devil, by observing him pick up his tail, tuck it over his left arm niuisllWtler oil" on a promenade among the hypocrites* and Pharisees, the “ovvt¥*gude and rigidly righteous^ Terrible Triulcjtv in Kcutnekj. From the ('ineinnati Fmjuirer. Richmond, Ky., Sept. ‘2l. —Jasper Maupin was a member of a large and wealthy family living a few miles east of here. Tho family numbers in all its branches perhaps thirty or more men, noted for their horses and hounds, their love of fox hunting, and for their utter in difference to danger. John Burnatn ■ was , Constable of (Hade township, that portion of the county where the Maupins lived, and is a typK;al Ken tuckian. Bj person tall, broad shouldered. handsome?quivk on the trigger, but un-* fortunately quarrelsome, and indeed, it is uid, rather fond of killing people. January last a quarrel spxatig up be tween Burnam and dfflkcr Maupin, which resulted-iu the shootiiUkif Burnam five Yesterday the trial of MiumiirSvas to nave occurred; and Bur nairrrpartially recovered from his wounds, was in town, evidently with the determi nation of having revenge upon Maupin. He was backed by four of his friends, tlic chief of whpm were Ballard and Comeli son, while Mauftiti was backed by his rel atives, each armed heavily with heavy Re volvers. The parties first met in the cAr ridors of the Court House, and revolvers were drawn, but by the intervention of friends they were induced to refrain from shooting. After the mypuipimont of the court, however. Burn'am, accompanied by his friends, stationed himself on the side walk stable, where Maupin must pass to get tirhis house. The Mau pins, seeing this action, consulted for a moment, hut only for a moment, when Jasper, nutting his hand upon his revolver, started boldly along the sidewalk in the direction of the stable. Ilis backers, many of whom were alrendy mounted, stopped about fifty feet away to watch the result. Maupin walked quietly down the street till he got opposite and nearly past Bur liam. still having his hand on his revolver and looking back as he passed. Suddenly Burnain drew a heavy revolver from un der his coat, and stepping quickly toward Maupin. without saying a word, placed the muzzle nearly against his forehead, and. before Maupin could draw, fired. The ball entered the brain, and Maupin fell to the sidewalk. Then Maupin's friends opened fire from the corner, jumping from their horses and rushing up toward the party. Lee Maupin ran toward Burnain, and. leveling his re volver. fired, Ilurnam fell dead upon the sidewalk, his feet resting across those of his victim. Lee Maupin rushed again to the body of Burnain, and, stooping over it, sent another bull through his head. At the same time the others had opened tire on Cornelison and Ballard, who both received shots through the head, and after staggering a few steps, fell dying. 'The example of Lee Maupin was followed by his fellows, who deliberately approached their victims while they were dying, send ing the heavy balls from their • pistols through their heads. Then, their being no more of the friends of the vanquished party remaining alive, the carnage ceased. The brothers of the wounded Maupin gathered about the dying man, kissed his pale face and wept like children. 'Then he was carried into a store pear by, and ex pired in a few moments. Jasper Maupin was about 24 years old. 1 le received one shot over the right eye pass ing through the brain. John Burnam was about 31 years old. i c received one shot above the left eye brow, passing through the brain, two through the right shoulder, one behind the right ear, and one in the right hand. William Cornelison was about 35 years old. He received one wound in the right breast, passing out under the left shoulder blade, and one shot in the back of the right arm, about five inches below the shoulder blade. Kit Ballard was about 29 years old. He received one shot in the cheek, one in the temple, one in the back, ranging through the heart, and one in the right rear hip. The verdict of the Coroner's jury to-day was: “Jasper Maupin was killed by a pistol shot from the hand of John Bur narn. Burnam, Cornelison, and Ballard came to their deaths by pistol shots from the hands of Lee Maupin, Brutus Maupin, and William Gooch.” The Grand Jury have the case now. The above parties were well connected and respected. (Seven Children Horn of One Homan In a Vea r. Florence Times. Silla Mack, who gave birth to five children at a birth on Mr. A. E. Gregg's planta tion in August last, gave birth to twins on last Saturday, a boy and a girl who are living and doing well; the rest of her labors for one year being four boys and three girls—seven in all. Dr. E. Miller is our authority for this. It is no sensational hoax. It is a startling fact. We know of some people who think seven in twenty one years a large number. We feel for them in the nervous shock which the above may cause. Darwin tells us that a woman’s feet may “ blush instead of her face.” Certainly they may. Why. one night last winter, the feet of a Chicago woman standing bare-footed on a sixth-story varanda, sud denly took it into their heads to blush at their own size, and hanged if people forty miles south of there didn’t mistake it for an aurora borealis. \Y.[U)LK NO. 51). Tougli (he* lug. a One night Blmiger cane home later than tlsnal. He stumbled into the kitchen, ami called to hia wife in an adjoining bedroom, demanding in thick uncertain tones to know if she had set out any biled pork and cab bage for him. She replied to him. rather sharply, that he'd find it where she always left it \ Blodgerstumbled into the pantry, and found a broad dish containing a gelatinous compound, which he speedily attacked. But the cabbage wouldn't be masticated. He got a piece m his mouth, and the more he chewed the tougher it grew. He work ed awhile, and then called out : pohoo-oh ?-wough 1 Say (hie) MollyJ Wha’kind o’ cabbage, (hie) d’y (hie) call this? I might’s welj ttvJßhchaw thunder!” rs?e Bind get out of bed in an instant, ami with a limited candle she en tered the pantry. “Simon Blouger! aren’t you a pattern man? My caps ami yourown dickies, that l left in starch over night! Now 1 know you are drunk !” Blodger was confounded. He was caught in flagrante delicto, and for the sake of peace in the family he dropped his committee meetings thenceforth. Making- lliu Jeni !*rn<i. V . Jewish Meeetnyer, .\JexßmloiVf Bosnia evidently believes in t efficiency ofAirayer. In the syna gogu\Lublin, placals were recently placed their dwellings would oftener for the su*-t%s\f the Russian army. And thev were father commanded to chant the Russian hymn in tin* synagogue, and to contribute more money for the sup port of the Russian paupers. This a speci men of that civilization of which tho Rus sians are, according to Mr. Gladstone, tho standard hearers. niij-ukigifUiiß IlcutN. The smartest ytwig man wo have heard of lately spells A Nevada of an urchin who had heeiv-play wuli.-iii rraales ’tail, as “ a spoilt chihl.” Hon. A. 11. Stephens has educated more than sixty young mutiaiul hoys. W liat a record Ibr this to leave behind him ! A wiehed mnh killed himself in tho lowest a Nevada mine, and the ac count says. “ Thus his alleged soul was saved over half u mile of transportation.’?^ “ Gentlemen, f introduce you to my friend, who isn’t ns stupid as he appears to he.” Introduced friend, with vivacity, —•‘That’s precisely the difference be tween my friend ana myself,” Here is a good ono from Joe Carter, of the DcKalh Sewn: “ Tho Milledgcville Old Capital wants the capital on tho ‘ ground of economy.’ We want it on tho ground of the city hall in Atlanta.” A good little boy, who was kicked by a nm!e, did not say naughty words, or go bmmvrrytng to hts brother. He jitfct tied the mule within five feet of a bee hive, backed him around to it, and let him kick. Ger.. McClellan characterizes his nomi nation for Governor of New Jersey as “one of tho surprises of his life.” He got severnl of the other “ surprises of his life ” from Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee.— St. Louis Globe-Democrat . “I’m one of the ten virgins!” yelled a Kansas bride, as she broke the coal oil lamp over her husband’s head for coming home at 2 o'clock in the morning. .“ Well, there will be but nine virgins in the morning.” said he as he poured a shovelful of coals into the oil on the lloor. Asa passenger train was nearing Grays villt*. Catoosa county, a few days since, the pilot struck a negro who was sitting on the rail, apparently asleep. He was thrown from the track some ten feet, and woke up rubbing his eves. As the train passed the negro yelled out, “ Who frowed dat brick?” He received only a few bruises and a slight fracture of the skin. It was court week at a country tavern, and a late comer was given one of a dozen cots, which had been put up temporarily in the parlor. There was a grand chorus of snores from the other cots. After an hour or more of this uproar, one of the most rousing snores brought up with a snort, and was suddenly silent. A French man, who occupied a cot in the extreme corner of the room, exclaimed : “ Thank God, you ish dead !” It is a strange thing to see a city chap at a country party, but he was there, and in his conversation with one of the prettiest lasses ventured to inquire : “ Were you ever at a watering place?” 1 “ Oh, yes,” replied she, “I live right at one.” “ Indeed !” exclaimed he growing interested, “where might it be?” “Oh, just out here a little way,” was her reply, “my father keeps the railroad tank.” The city chap, wondering whether she was in earnest or making fun of him, there dropped the subject. When a railway was opened in Virginia, on a certain occasion, a bishop was called upon to make the prayer. Nothing in any prayer-book, or in his usual private devo tions, would exactly “applicate” the oc casion. So he wrote out a prayer, and read it from the manuscript. This per formance greatly astonished some of the negroes who hovered on the outskirts of the crowd. “ Pomp.” said one of the ebo nies, “what does you tink of dat?” “I tinks.” replied Pomp, “datdis is dc fust time dat de Lord was eber written to onde subject ob railroads.” By the way. it is said that a distinguish ed Georgia Republican—no less a person age than ex-Attorney-General Akerman— is wanted in South Garolina. It seems that during the progress of the Returning Board cases before the Supreme Court last Winter Akennan was adjudged to be in contempt and had a fine imposed upon him. Tne correspondent of the Charleston Journal of Commerce says he “ ingloriously fled under cover of darkness, leaving his hotel bill unpaid.” We are quite sure the latter portion of this accusation does the ex-At torney-General injustice, but we advise him to go back to Columbia and pay his fine like a little man. Hampton's govern ment needs it. —Chronicle Constitution alist.