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CONFEDERATE ECONOMY. ilrt H P. I fan dii, in Philadelphia Hmei. live col tee. with tlio coffee lett out, was the Confederate breakfast drink, find when sweetened with sorghum was a dose to be remembered. Cane sugar, though it brought high prices and was regarded as a luxury in the last days of the Confederacy, was always to be had in plenty for those who could buy it. Sorghum, however, was the •• sweetening” best known and cheapest in Confederate times. Every planter cultivated it, every owner of even a few acres had at least one of those acres set j in sorghmn cane. Housekeepers rung the changes on it in every possible form, sorghum cake, sorghum pudding with sorghum sauce, sorghum pies—all tlies' i and more were on their hills of fare. Preserves were put up with it, and the ! svmp itself was a standard article of food on most Southern t ables. Indeed it is scarcely too much to say that the hardy Chinese sugar-cane was one of the pillars of the Confederacy, inasmuch as it became a staple article of food at a time when food was scarce and famine seemed to draw near. The list of re cipes in a Confederate cookery book reads oddlj' enough. “ Yeast from dried apples,” “ ditto from life everlasting,” “ calves' foot jelly without wine or lem ons,” brandy and vinegar being the substitutes; “ hard candles without wax,” and“. Confederate gum arabic," which last was cherry glue dissolved in vinegar, are among those which I re member. Juvenile Confederates had few sweetmeats or candies, and one of our household trials was that we could never coax sorghum into anylike like talfy—a thick jelly-like syrup was the nearest approach thereto of which it was susceptible. Red pepper and mus tard were made at, home in plenty from home-grown mustard seed and cayenne peppers. The mustard was beaten in a inortar, or ground in a spice-mill with comparative ease ; but the preparation of the pepper was a trying time for the household. First strung and dried in the sun ; then to make sure dried again in the oven, the pods were rubbed into powder witli heavy wooden pestles in a wooden trough, and run through a sieve. This sufficed for ordinary purposes, but for the castors the product was again dried, pounded and sifted. The work was done in an out-house by veiled wo men, but a general atmosphere of sneezing and weeping always accompa nied the pepper making, Black pepper —to be had only in small quantities— rose steadily in price throughout the war, until April, 186.*), it was sold for three hundred dollars a pound, an amount equal, at the scale afterward fixed for Confederate money values, to more than seven dollars in gold. * * Ingenuity kept pace with necessity, and Confederate women found time gnd means to make many pretty trifles. Rabbit, otter and muskrat-skin, tanned at home, were home-made into sets of furs which would not have done dis credit to a skilled furrier. Exquisite feather fans were manufactured from white geese feathers, and the feather flowers of the Brazilian nuns, aside from their brilliant coloring, are scarcely more brilliant then the snowy japoni cas worn by a Confederate bride ; yet they were the work ol a lady friend. I hesran to fear I should not get them done in time,” wrote the giver. “My white Westphalia geese went bathing in a mud-puddle, and got themselves so dirty that they had to he washed and penned up to dry before their leathers could he used.” Fresh flowers were more than scarce, and nearly all bonnet trimmings, as well as the bonnets, were home-made. Straw flowers, straw cords and tassels, ruches and rosettes of ravelled silk— these were more common and less cost ly than well made feather flowers. Alto gether the women managed well enough except with regard to their bonnets. In total ignorance of the Parisian decree, which with the rest of the world had re duced these to a mere idea, they went on steadily adding to the size ot theirs until in 180.’). when the barrier of their armies gave way, they stood revealed in veritable sky-scrapers, huge coal scuttle shaped bonnets, in which tneir heads and faces were hurried. In truth, however, their ingenuity was wonder ful. Thev made everything they wore gloves, hats and shoes (cloth shoes to which the shoemaker added the soles) as well as other articles usually of fem inine manufacture. Straw plaiting be came a favorite industry, dividing favor with knitting, since both could be done by a dim light, and artificial means of illumination were scant and feeble. The Southern pitch pine yielded its torches in abundance, but its flickering blaze, albeit bright and picturesque, is fear- fully trying to the eyesight. Tallow candles were articles of luxury •which might he used in plenty only by well-to-do fanners and wealthy con tractors. Who invented the Confederate candle history will probably never tell us; but from Virginia to Texas it be came a Southern institution gladdeh ing the fireside of the Confederacy. 'Pli'is__the candle —was a long rope of wax, about the thickness of an ordinary lead pencil, wound on a wooden stand or frame —the Confederate candlestick. To make the dandle, beeswax and resin (one part of resin to eight of wax) were melted together, and a long strand of candlewick was drawn three times through the mixture. The rope was usu ally a long one, as many hands as pos sible being pressed into service for the work. When finished the candle was wound on the candlestick like yarn upon a reel. The end left free was drawn through a strip (of tin nailed for the purpose on the tdp of the candlestick. VOL. II—NO. IT. w . As the candle burned away the w’axen 1 rope was unwound, still fbllowing out I the similtude of the reel of yarn. The light was dim, hut clear and steady, and near the candle was sufficient for all or dinary purposes. The lighted candle required watching, and it was unsafe to leave it long with no one near. It YVasnH the Toothache. Detroit Free Preit. In the ladies' waiting room at the Central depot tlie other day were a newly-marriod couple Atom Grass Lake; They had been visitiug iu the city two or three days, and were then ready to go homo. They sat side by side, of course, his arm around her waist and and she leaning on his shoulder. A long-waisted stranger from the East, having sore eyes and a big heart, walked in, saw them thus seated, and in about a minute he u9kedof the husband : “ lias that woman there got the tooth ache?” The husband looked up in surprise, but made no answer. After two or three minutes the long-waisted man remarked : “ ll' that woman has got, the tooth ache I’ve got a bottle of peppermint in my satchel here.” The bride rolled her big white eyes around, and the husband looked some what embarrassed. The man from down East unlocked his satchel, fumbled among shirts and colars, and brought up four ounces of peppermint essence, lie uncorked it, touched the contents of the bottle against his big red tongue, and, handing it forward towards the husband feelingly said: “Just have her sop some on a rag and rub her gooms with it. \\ e've used it in our family for The bride's eyes threw out sparks as she lifted her head from its loving posi tion, and striking at the bottle she cried out: “ Tuthache, you fulc ! If you don’t know the difference ’tween true love and the tuthache you’d better pick grass with the geese !” “Mv Lord!” gasped the man, and he hurried out with his satchel in one hand and the bottle in the other. Clerical Anecdote. The following is too good to be lost: Many years ago, when as yet there was but one church in the old town ol Lynne, Connecticut, the people were without a pastor. They hail been for a long time destitute, and now were on the point of making a unanimous call for a very acceptable preacher, when a cross-grained man, by theuameof Dorr, began a violent opposition to the candi date, rallied a party, and threatened to defeat the settlement. At a parish meeting, while the matter was under discussion, a half-witted fel low rose in the house, and said he want ed to tell a dream that he had last night. He thought he died, and went away where the wicked people go, and as soon as Satan saw him “he asked me where I came from ?” “ From Lvnne, in Connecticut," I told him, right out. “ Ah! and what are they doing in Lynne?” he asked. “ They are trying to settle a minister, I said. “Settle a minister!" he cried out. “I must put a stop to that. Bring me my boots; I must go to Lynne this very night." I then told him, as he was drawing on his boots, that Mr. Dorr was opposing the settlement, and very likely he would prevent it altogether. “My sarvent Dorr T exclaimed his Majesty. “My mrvent Dorr! Here, take my boots; if my sarvent Dorr is at work, there is no need of my going at all.” This speech did the business. Mr. Dorr made no further opposition ; the minister was settled, but his opponent carried the title “My sarvent Dorr ” to the grave with him. If there is a rainbow, it must be bom in the storm ; if there is a deep and un uttered joy it must be over him that was lost and is found, was dead and is alive again. May it not be that it will be found at last, that in the wonderful ways of the Infinite One, every sorrow, every woe endured, will at fast create deeper and more transporting joy throughout all His dominions? A Lowell (Mass.) firm sent a lot of bills west for collection. The list came back with the result noted against each name, one being marked “dead.’" Three , months after the same bill got into a new lot that was forwarded, and when the list came back the name was marked “ still dead.” The old maxim, “Be chaste and you’ll be happy, is contradicted point blank by a Black Hills man, who was chased ten miles recently by a party of red-skins. The .Free Prem mentions an innocent Detroit boy, a doctor's son, who pointed to the skull in the office of his father, and earnestly asked, “ Did you kill him, father?” HARTWELL, GA M WEDNESDAY* DECEMBER 19, 1877. Major Dee and the Yankee Chaplain. Frankfort lVomn. It was in the latter years of the war, on a cold winter morning, Governor Magoffin and Major Deo, having been together at Frankfort, were reluctantly leaving that most hospitable city. Some how, they always teemed reluctant to leave Frankfort enriv in the morning. As thov entered together the two-liorao linrrodshurg couch they observed as fel low pnssehgers a rosy-checked, bright eyed Anderson county lady, with a chubby child in her arms, and oh ! abomination of desolations, along-faced, black-haired, uniformed Yankee chap lain. Major Dee was silent —the Gov ernor held his cane to his upper lip. Tho stage had hardly crossed the bridge before the apostle of liberty, who evi dently recognized the Governor but did not the Major, began a truly loyal dis course, always addressing Major Dee: “ I think the rebellion ought to be crushed by all means,” said the chap lain. The Major is always prudent; the Governor was of necessity in those times cautious, and so they said nothing. The apostle went on with a tirade against rebels. Still no response or comment from either the Governor or Major Dec. Finally, said the chaplain, addressing Major Dee: “Don’t you think Abra ham Lincoln the greatest man living? 1 ask you. sir.” The Major aroused himself, and with his usual “ ahem! ahem ! ” said : “ Yes, sir; the only truly great man living.” The Anderson county woman was horri fied ; the Governor took his cane from his mouth ; and the chaplain was all at tention. “ Sir,” continued Major Dee, “Abraham Lincoln did for his father and mother Ac noblest thing ever a sou did.” The chaplain's face beamed, the Major grew pathetic. “ You may talk of Joseph and all other sous, but 1 never did for my father and mother what Mr. Lincoln did for his.” The Major grew earnest. “ Honor thy parents is a God given command, and uobly and in such a manner as no other man has done did Mr. Lincoln honor his lather and mo ther. Why, sir, it almost brings tears to my eyes to think of it.” The Major began in a narrative style: “Mercer county is an old county ; Harrodsbnrg is the oldest town in the State. The Allins have always been clerks in Mer cer, and old mau Allin told my father, and mv father told me, that w hen Abra ham Lincoln was only ton years old he rode fourteen miles to Ilarrodsburg in his shirt-tail —” The Anderson county woman blushed. “ I beg pardon, madam, but still he was in his shirt-tail," continued the Ma jor. “Oh, it was a noble act to do this for his father and mother, aud him only ten years old.” The sighed. The chaplain’s curious anxiety was painful. “ Well, sir, Abe Lincoln rode up to the clerk and handed him seven and sixpence, aud it was noble in him, and —” Here the chaplain’s anxiety was so great he anticipated the Major, and he exclaimed : “ Blessed boy, got from the clerk a deed to the parental homestead 7’ “ Deed ? deed?” said the Major. “ Who said anything about a deed? Whv, it was better than any deed, sir. lie got a license from the clerk for his father and mother to marry, sir, and him only ten years old. Now, don’t you think it was the noblest act of his life? and it was what neither you nor 1 ever did. Did we, Bcriah ?” The Anderson county woman lmd to be helped out of the stage, for she was in strong convulsions; and all this proves that Harrodsbgrg is the oldest town in Kentucky. The Georgia election turned, as was expected in the adoption of the new constitution, in the choice of Atlanta as the capital and in the selection of a nearly unanimous democratic legisla ture. The great fight, and it was in deed a heated one, was on the capital question, the choice being between j Miiledgeviile, a sleepy old town that | once sported the honor and can never ; get over the loss of it, and the city of Atlanta, which is by odds the most wide-awake and progressive of southern communities, besides being a railroad centre. Miiledgeviile seems to have been voted for by the bourbons as a 1 matter of bourbonism, just as they j would have voted for Andrew Jackson for president if he had been running in 1876, and for no more plausible reason than that which the cfarpet-baggers did j should be undone. The new constitu tion that has been adopted is, upon the whole, a good piece of work. Among i its most important features are strict i provisions against duelling, making lobbying a crime and petty larceny cause for disfranchisement, prohibiting the State from rendering financial as sistance to railroads, abolishing the whipping post and imprisonment for debt, making the sessions of the legis lature biennial and increasing the facil ities for free public education.—Phila delphia Time , Ind. The Chicago Time* thinks a bill ought to be passed for the realeoholization of ! vrhiskr. Another Lesson in Poetry. Vwi Httv'keyt. We lmve just received to-day from n young man who wears side whiskers, thin ones, and eye-glasses, the sweetest little gem of a poem. There is only one verso of it, but he says it is very seldom that lie drops into poetry, and can only write when the divine afflatus is on him. We think the divine afflatus was ouhim Yesterday, with both feet. Wo could have wished that he lmd written more, hut we are grateful for the one stanza he did send, because it gives us some new ideas on poetry making, and we are always glad to get hold of anything that will help us to get anew wrinkle on tho old machine. But this young man doesn't use a machine; the afflatus, when it strikes him, just seems to make it ooze out of him like perspiration, and In' flings this stanza oil’as though he had hreadied poetry all his life : Fair, fair, it is beyond compare. My Jennie with the brown, hrown hair; My flower that blooms, that blooms among The heathery prairies wide and long, Methinks 1 hear her song, her song. Nbw that is something like. When we had occasion to lecture on this sub iect. ljnpuy u the columns of this valua ble /or sale everywhere, price cents, the reader will remember that we tinted that tho only difficulty was in j filling in, not in finding the rhyme, for | you could write the rhymes first, and j then rush around and look tip the words to go in the lines. But this young ge- i nius has given us a hint that does away with all that trouble. He is a “ white j crow," he is. We could go rightonaud finish his poem for him without an j effort. Where the soft, soft, soft moonlight glows. I'll seek. seek, seek thy bow-wow-wower ; Oh. fairest rose, rose, rose, rose. rose. My lily How, flow, flow, flow, flower. i Oft. oft, oft in the starlight beams I'll hie, hie, hie to our trysting place And linger in dre. dre, dre. dre. dreams For the sight t ight tight of thy lovely face. I may caw, caw, caw, raw. call thee mine, With thy yell, yell, yellow gold-like hair; And my eye, yi, yi, yi, eyes would shine To see thee, my data, dam, damsel fair. ' Beally, what with one and another modern improvement, it will soon be a great deal easier to write poetry than prose, and no man or woman of any pretensions to genius orscliolarly attain ment will ever clothe their thoughts in any garb other than prose. The Ufcipc for Prosperity. Btming S'tut. 1. Let every youth be, taught some useful art and be trained to industry and thrift. 2. Let every young man lay aside and keep sacredly in tact a certain proportion of his earnings. 3. Let every one set out in life with a fixed determination to engage in busi ness for himself, and let him put this determination into practice as early in life as possible. 4. Begin in a small, safe way, and extend your business as experience shall teach you is advantageous. 5. Keep your own books and know constantly what you are earning and just where you stand. 0. Do not marry until in receipt of a tolerable certain income—sufficient to live on comfortably. 7. Never get into debt. A man who owes nothing can never fail. 8. Let every man who is able buy a farm upon which to bring up his sons. It is on the farm that best men, moral ly and intellectually, arc turned out. !>. Bear in mind that your business cannot be permanently prosperous un less you share its advantages equally with your customers. An all turkey, all buzzard system of business can never succeed in the long run. Both parties to a transaction must be mutu ally benefitted if trade is kept up. jO. Experience has shown that n scrimping policy with employees is not the most profitable for the employer. Live and let live is a better theory. 11. Never get your business so much extended that you are driven to make a part ner. If you engage in a part ner ship at all, let it not be forced upon you. 12. If you find yourself incompetent to manage a business successfully, set tle down contentedly to work lor wages, do your best for your employer, make his interests yours, and be certain to live on your income. Every one is not qualified by nature to manage success fully, but as much real happiness is en joyed in a salaried position as in any other, if the individual be only frugal and contented. 13. Don't seek political office. 14. Aim to be just and fair in all your dealings, and cultivate a good rep utation for paying promptly. If these few rules were generally ob served, we should have but little com plaint of hard times. “ How Firm a Foundation.” The perseverance of the saints was thus understood by an old woman of the African persuasion in Lexington, Ga. “Oldßhody” fell under grave suspi cion of having stolen the fatted turkey, and her oflemto was lightly passed over iu consideration of her advanced years and eminent abilities as a cook. She was, moreover, a shouting professor and conspicuous in the amen corner. Shortly lifter wards she was bailed hy her former master us she hobbled out of his gate on her way to “ meetin'," Halloo, Rhodv, you are going to church still, you old hypocrite.” " Isir, Mars Swop, you tink I gwinc to gih up my ’ligion fur one ole turkey gobbler.” Anecdote of Andrew Jackson. When Andrew Jackson was a young man attending court at Rogersville. Tonn.. I he lived at a hotel famous for its good ! cheer. One day, as he sat on the piazza, a ' youth came riding along dressed in the i pink of fashion, hts eyes fixed on vacancy, j replying not to the salutes which it was I the custom or the times for strangers to ‘ give to each other. At a glance Jackson saw the fop, and. determined to play the part of landlord. He welcomed the Nilent stranger with distinguished politeness, and the company about '.he lire made room for him. But the automaton wa:: not to be won by conversation. He walked up and down the room contemplating his own graces, and presently exclaimed, command-> 'ingly. “Landlord, I want supper I"’ . per was spread and the stately youth de voured it. Then tic resumed his walk, an swered not a word to tho remarks of the fireside circle of lawyers and judges, nnd Jackson grew more and more wrathful. “ Landlord, I want to go to bed !" was the next demand; and he added, “I want a room to myself.” Jackson represented that the house was full, and there was no single room to be had ; the young fellow was not to be moved. Jackson disappear ed, ami shortly returned, announcing that tho guest's room was ready. Tho two went otT through the front door, all the company following, and stopped—-at the corn-crib, through tho cracks of which a light was shining. “There’s your room,” said Jackson. “Do you wisli to insult me. sir?” “No insult at all, sir. You vowed you would not sleep in a room witli I any one. and demanded a room to your j self. There it is. sir.” “ I vow I will not ! sleep there,” said tho dandy. “By the j eternal, you shall 1" exclaimed Jackson, and grabbing the youth, he sent him at j one toss into the crib and locked tho door. ! And there he staid all night, and in the I morning he was released and dismissed break fastless by the impetuous Jackson, j This is a tale related by ancient lady of Rogcrsville. Business Is Business^ A reporter of the local edition of the Danbury Newt went to soe the young lady lie was keeping company with, Sunday evening. She met him at the door with a colorless face. “ Oh, Torn !” she cried in an agitated voice, *' we have had such a scare ! Ma was coming down stairs aud she caught her foot iu the carpet and went the whole length —’’ “ Hold on !’’ shouted the excited youth, diving nervously into his hip pocket for his note-hood, while he whipped out a pencil from another recess. “ Now go on. Matilda !go on’ hut ho cairn! For the heaven's sake bo calm ! Kill her?" •* Gracious, no !" “Break her back? Crush her skull? Be calm, be calm? For the sake of sci ence, he calm!" “ Why, Tom,” gasped the girl, frighten ed by his impetuosity, “ it wasn’t serious. It was ” “ Wasn’t serious?” he gasped, in turn. “I)o you mean to say she didn’t break anything after all that fuss?” ••Why’ certainly not. She never hurt herself a hit.” “ Well, ejaculated the young man with an expression of disgust on his face, as he sadly restored the book ami pencil to their places, “that's all a woman knows about business.” That Fetched Him. Tn ono of the Western States a man was brought into court on a charge of assault and battery, presented by his wife, and His Honor asked him why lie struck her. “She called me a worthless, la/.y loafer, but that wasn’t it.” “ Wells'” “ She said our who’e family weren't tit for fish bait ; but 1 didn’t get mad at that.” “ What was it then?” . • •* She shook her list under my nose, and said I was too lazy to die. but I know’d she was excited and I let that pass. She's got a fearful temper, your Honor.” “I wish to know if you had sufficient cause for provocation,” said the Court. “ 1 guess I had. Judge. She came close up and spit in my face, and said I was meaner than pizen; but I didn’t hit her j for that.” “What then?” “ 1 know’d her temper, and I sot there and whistled ‘ Hold the Fort” and I was ! hearing with her. when she turned round and gin my coon dog the smashingest kick —lifted him right out’n doors onter his head. That fetched mo. Judge, if the.ro had been forty lions and a camel in the road, I’d have skinned her or died trying.” WHOLE NO. 09. HOW THE TURTLE HELD ON. Keokuk IWlihilwn. Gabc's boy was fishing the ot her day, •\ud caught a turtle, one of the snapping specie:*. Gabo himself had been skir mishing around that day and hail picked up a pup which hr thought looked like it was astray, and brought it home and placed it under a tub, turned Inittom side up, for safe keeping. The hoy was unaware of this and used the tub to cover his turtle. In so doing the dog escaped, and the boy was too frightened to say anything about, it. Peace reigned in the house that night, and Gabe felt In a good humor next morning, and invited the family out to see the new dog, “ which,” said Gabe, “ Ise gwinc to lam some tricks.” Mrs. Gabe and Tilly went out eagerly, the boy with fear and trembling. “Now,” said Gabe, as they ap proached the tub, " I’se gwinc to show you uns a dog as am a dog; none o’ ver common critters, but a ginewine black and tan, an’ he didu’t cost a cent.” Then he whistled nnd called, “ Y'er Rover, yer Rover, come yer dog to yef master,” just to encourage the pup ho said, as he lifted the tub a piece from the ground. The dog didn't come and Gabe whis tled again, while the kinks all straight ened out of the hair of the boy, who leaned up against the house waiting for the explosion. Gabe said ; “ What am de mattah widiledog,” nnd.ran his hand in to bring the pup out by the nap of tho neck. He pawod around a while and the boy just slid to the ground, and with eyes as big as saucers and mouth j extended, waited for developments. They came just as Gabe said, "blast r, dqg, what's de matter wid—” Just iiffeit fiis hand came, in contact with the snout of the turtle, “Oh de good inn’ oh goody grashes,” shrieked Gabe wild ly as he upset the tub and suddenly assumed nil upright position with tho turtle attached to his finger. “Oh bress de I/>rd ! take him off! take him off!" And the more ho yelled the tighter the turtle clung. Gabe was thoroughly frightened and iin considerable pain, lie was wild, and stretching out Iris arm, after vainly trying to shake the turtle loose, he wheeled wildly round and round, the arm outstretched, the turtle on the out side of the circle. “Holy Ghos ejaculated Gabe, pirouetting like a bal ) let <lancer. “Whoof! lemmego! Oh goramighty ! Whoof 1 I'seadead nig ; ger for a fac\" and then his eye caught sight of the boy, who couldn't stand it longer, and was turning hand-spring after hand-spring, butting his head against the side of the house, slapping his sides, and yelling between time*— “ Oh, lordy, lordy, jest look at de ole man. Oh ! bress de lamb, jes’ glance at that turkle. Oh ! Yaw, yaw, y-a-w. w-w,” —more hand-springs, more butt ing the building and more doubling up. The old woman and Tilly stood transfixed with amazement, but as Gabo saw the boy and made for him, the truth ! flashed upon their minds, and as the two disappeared around the comer of the house and reappeared at another corner, and ran round and round, the boy keeping his distance and the turtle not needing whip and spur to keep up, such a shout went up that the earth trembled and the old lad v grew so weak j that, she fell into the tub, and as it was a tight fit she was held fast; hut sho ! handn’t lost her breath, and as the pur {suer and pursued came in sight she would kick up her heels, and yell, “ Go lit ole man ; lay down to it boy, go in i turtle—Oh l hi, hi. Oh! glory, jest look at ’em. Tilly, Lan, lau, it better j dan de eirkus.” There never was such a din raised in ! t hat quarter of town. Gabe, yelled, the boy yelled, the old woman and Til ly laughed and the geese squawked. The turtle was too busy to make any noise, but it kept its end up in the race man fullv, and just as the boy secured a po sition on the roof and the old man fell exhausted on the door step, it saw a good chance, let go all holds and crawled under the house. The boy is a fugitive from justice. The old woman is laid up, and Tilly daren't open her head. But Gabe saya to outsiders. “ I doesn't mind de turkle, : but I’ll whitewash any gemmen’s house free for nuffln which will find dat dog an’ dat boy fer me.” Darkey Grundiloquoney. Hero is a sample of actual occurrence in Washington Market, having been overheard by a friend, whom it pleased so much that he took it down at the timo : My colored friend, George-Edward Fit*- Auguatus walked up to the wagon of a fat countryman, and, after peering for some time at his stock, inquired : “ Arc dose good taters?” “Yes, sir,” responded the countryman. “ A tatcr,” resumed George-Edward Fit*-Augustus, “ is inevitably bad unless it is unwanbly good, dcre is no mcdcocraty in de combination ob a tater. Do exte rion may appear remarkably exemplary and beautisome, while de intcrion is total ly negative. But, sir, if you warns de article on your own recommendation, knowing you to be a man oh probability ! in your transactions. I, widout any furder circumlocution, takes a bushel ob dat su , perior wcgctable.” “ I shall die happy,” said an expiring husband to his wife, who was weeping most dutifully at his beside, “if you will promise not to marry that object of my inceasing jealousy, your cousin John.” “Make yourself quite easy, my lore,” said the expectant widow, “ I am engaged to his brother Bill!”