Newspaper Page Text
, THE LITTLE SPRUITS.
ror The Sun.
t)noe a man who had quite an unruly
family of children was trimming his
orchard, and clearing the bodies of the
trees of sprouts. Several of his wiki
little fellow* were there. One asked
why he took off the sprouts. Said lie,
** If these sprouts stay here awhile
longer they will ruin the tree and we
ehall havo no apples. Look at this
tree and these sprouts, and then look
at mo and yourselves and you will see
a great similarity. The longer these
sprouts stay sucking the juice from
the roots the more they will injure the
tree. The longer yon all are bad chil
dren and disobedient, the more you will
increase my cares and sorrows, and the
shffrter my life will bo and the less
value it will be while I do live. If I
were to let these sprouts alone, in a
short time all around the tree would
become so brushy that the plow oould
not get near it. and then weeds, grass
and briers would take hold and ruin the
tree and Sprouts and they would ail die.
So, If you remain bad boys, no one that
is of much note will come about us,
and mj'sclf and you will become ignor
ant vicious and immoral, and we shall
all die as regards character and stand
ing. After these sprouts are taken otf
and I plough close to the trees they
will grow and flourish and in due sea
son they will bear plenty of fruit—and
good fruit. Now, I shall not have to
kill you to be any account myself; but
you must be good boys for me or you
either to be respected and to be of any
use in our neighborhood."
When the old gentleman looked
the boys were all sobbing intensely,
and to their praise and credit, they
took the lesson to heart, and became
steady and grew up to be smart, useful
men. an ornament to the neighborhood
and of great benefit to their friends and
acquaintances wherever they went or
were known.
I have thought of this lesson many
times, and whenever I see a family of
profligate and rude children. I think of
the apple tree and sprouts. When I
see a chap allowed to saunter and stroll
about on any and all occasions, as his
wild fancy may dictate, I think for the
want of another sprout that this sprout
may ruin the tree. When I hear of
many of those little night plays and
gatherings it appears to me that there
is a great deal of work for the mattock
to do to dig up those sprouts. When
I sec a nice looking youth go into a
grocery and drink with the drunken,
swear with the profane and gamble with
the gamester, I think that if he has not
already killed the old tree, he is in a
fair way to do so and will ere long
bring himself and parents to shame and
ruin. When I see the youngsters on a
farm idling about, getting to work late,
working lazily, doing their work sloven
ly, I think that those sprouts are doing
the old tree but very little good and
will soon kill it. When I see a man
losing all his winter months, and letting
the bushes and briers grow up and take
the best land from him, then I change
my programme of thought and think
that tree should be cut down and let
someone set out his sprouts that will
take care of them. When I see pa
rents who are willing for their children
to saunter and stroll about on the Sab
bath with little negroes and bad white
boys, fishing on creeks, wrestling, quar
relling and fighting, and winding up by
going into and robbing some man's
melon patch or orchard, I think the
strong arm of the law should dig up all
those sprouts and set them one in a
place in a more healthful soil, and try
to make good fruit trees of them.
When I see a youngster willing to go
olf on all occasions and leave all for
his father to do, I think that for the
want of a sprout this sprout will be apt
to do no good for his father, the church
nor the State.
Now, boys, look that you may read ;
read that you may heed; heed that
you may lie of advantage to your fath
ers and'mothers in their declining age.
I)o you remember your parents did not
wear spectacles? IN hy do they wear
them now? Because the eye as well
as all other parts of the body has
changed and is going to decay. Once
a man's son, becoming of age, went to
a distant country and remained ten
years. His father was forty when he
left and also an incessant reader. NY ken
the young man came home, he brought
a paper that contained a beautiful arti
cle that he asked his father to read.
“ Son,” said he, “ look on the bureau
and hand me my spectacles.” The son
obeyed ; but went out and wept bitterly
to see the change that had come on his
his father since he left. His father
told him not to mind that, for he was
stout and able to work; but that his
eyes had become rather too flat, and he
used "lasses. In a short while the son
became used to it, and seemed not to
mind it. He went back home and
staved ten more years and again visited
bis" father. His father was a nice
farmer, and the son asked him to walk
ont and look at the crop. “ Son,” said
he “ look up in the rack and hand me
my cane.” The son did so; but as the
old man went tottering along on his
cane the young man sobbed, and the
walk did him but little good. He left
and went home and staved ten more
years, and then visited his father again,
lie arrived just before dinner, and at
dinner the father asked him to sit by
him and feed him, for he trembled so
that he could not feed himself. The
son obeyed; bnt he cried so that the
dinner was useless to him. After din
ner, the father got a paper for the son
VOL. II—NO. 20.
to read an article for him. The son
took his own spectacles from his }>oc
ket; and the father wept in turn to see
his son using glasses. He weqt home
and stayed ten more years and visited
his father. When he arrived the old
man was in bed, not able to sit. - lie
talked with him, lingered a few days
and died.
Now boys and girls, you all will not
be apt to move to a distant country
and come back and see the different
changes made in their physical organi
zation ; but if you will observe from
time to time you will see very market!
changes. If your fathers are stout and
strong now, before long they will need
specks, walking canes, and help to feed
them. Some of you will live to see
cedars growing over thdr graves as large
as your body. Some of yon wilt ttie
liefore your parents. Some of you will
be crippled for life: others wili chance
meet with other misfortunes. Mv de
sign in writing this article is to cause
children to be more obedient to their
parents than they are at present; for 1
sec manifested in a great many youths
the aim not to mind their parents at all
if they can avoid it. Mind your pa
rents, and although you may nol at,
present see the reason, it will after
awhile appear plain to you, and you
will regret many disobodiencies after a
certain time; but remember that It is
for your good.
“ The bud may have a bitter taste,
But street will be the flower.’’
Go not with bad boys, but stay in
the company of good, clever people ; be
diligent at work, or at school. Take
The JlAfclMVKi.r. Sun and read it, and
3’ou will see many good tilings in it. If
your father does not take it, you can
do it for yourselves. I guess that Mr.
Benson would let any nice little boy or
girl under such circumstances have his
paper a year for 50 lbs. of seed cotton,
and it takes but little space and time
to raise that much. Be good boys and
girls ; do your duty ; go to church and
behave when there ; mind your parents ;
be kind to your playmates and you will
make nice and smart men and women;
such as the country will be proud to
claim as citizens. Gi. vnton.
A Terrible Liar.
“He was the orfulest liar I ever
seen,” said flonley O’l
turned from his friend’s funeral. “ Why,
he told me once that he lived on a
small island in the Pacific ocean, on
which there was a volcano. And he
said that there was an active demand
out in that region for watermelons, so
he went into the business of raising
them. And he said one year his whole
crop tailed except one melon, and that
kept cm growing at such a fearful rate
that it crowded him olf of the low land
and up to the side of the volcano, which
generated steam and caused an explo
sion which blew up the whole concern
to atoms, and shot him four hundred
miles out to sea, where he was picked
up by a whaler. He used to tell that
one great mistake of his life was that
he couldn’t drive a plug in the crater
of the volcano so as to make it water
tight, and then slice open the water
melon and come sailing home on the
half-shell.
“He would lie. He said that once
he was cast on an iceberg, with no bag
gage but a pair of skates and a fishing
pole. But he skated around until he
came across a dead whale, frozen into 1
the Jed. So he took off his shirt—it was
night for six months that year up there
—lore it into strip for a wick, run the
strips through the bamboo fishing rod,
stuck the rod into the fat of the whale,
and lit the other end. He said it burn
ed splendidly, and the iceberg reflected
the light so strongly that it was bright
as day for forty miles around, and one
vessel ran into the iceberg, thinking it
was a lighthouse. He said he sold the
iceberg to the Captain for $15,000, and
the captain split it up and took it home
and made 20 per-cent, profit disposing
of it to ice companies.
“ Lie? sir, he beat any man I ever
came across. Told me that once, out in
Nevada a mountain lion attacked him,
with his mouth wide open. He had the
presence of mind enough to grab it by
the tongue and pull. The lion roared
with pain, but he did his level best pul
ling, and pretty soon the tongue began
to give and the tail to shorten, and di
rectly out they came, the tongue and
the tail in one continuous string. He
said he had ’em at home, and he showed
’em to me, but inv belief is they were
only three or four cowhidesamd a bull’s
tail dovetailed together.
“He was astonishing,as a truth crush
er. Said he served on a gunboat du
ring the war which was very small and
light, while the mortar on the deck was
very large and heavy, and he said the
first time they tried to fire a fifteen inch
shell the shell remained stationary,
while the recoil was so great it fired the
gunboat four miles up stream and land
ed it in a tree. He was a liar, but now
he’s dead I reckon he’ll ketch it”
There was no doubt about it; Mr.
O'Leary's friend was very successful as a
coustructor of energetic works of fiction.
- __-•
HARTWELL. HA., WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY 20, 1878.
A Wrestle With a Rear.
A writer iu Frame Jjvslie's Neusptu
i per gives an account of an adventure he
, and two hunters had with a large U*ur,
in northeastern Pennsylvania. Bruin
had been caught in a huge steel trap at
tached to the trunk of a tree, but had
succeeded in getting away from the t{t*c
with the trap still hanging to his paw.
After following tlut bear a long distance,
the hunters at length came up with him,
and the scene that followed is described
by the writer :
Peering through tho laurels wo saw
an open space in the swamp, not more
than fifty feet iu advanced’us. A larger
growth of timber surrounded it than
characterized the general configuration
of the swamp. The space was thirty or
forty feet wide, and about the same in
length. On the further side of it an
immense bear stood erect on its haunch
es in the snow. Both massive paws
were raised aloft, and on one tho heavy
trap was fastened by visc-likc grip, ft
looked like a weapon hold in readiness
to he hurled at an advancing foe. The
hoar’s great jaws were wide open, and
from their flan ting depth* masse* of foam
fell in large Hecks upon the beast's shag
gy breast. His eyes glared fiercely,
and every motion warned his pursuers
that he was wrought to the very height
of fury. Quick andJouas stood on the
side nearest us, like gladiators ready for
the fray. The situation did not remain
1 >ng unchanged. The old hunter’s rifle
came mechanically to his shoulder. For
an instant the polished barrel flashed
back the rays of the sun. Then a sharp
report rang out upon the winter air, and
leaped from hill to hill. The bear
dropped with a dull thud to tho gronnd,
“Plum through the beater!”exclaim
ed Quick, as be sprang into the ojgming
knife in hand, to cut the throat of the
prostrate bear. As ho stooped down,
the tenacious brute sprang to its feet,
and rushed upon the hunter. Instantly
both men were upon the bear. We
crouched sjiell bound where we had
stopped '; knives glittering in the Kim
light. We saw the bear with blood
streaming from the quickly inflicted
wounds, aud dyeing iu his black coat
with crimson streaks, rise up throe times
against his foes, and rush upon them iu
a savage frenzy, that it seemed must
awry them down before it. Once he
hurled Jonas to the snow, and we held
Val We Tfirritfat^'othTng
could have withstood; hut tho axe of
the hunter fell with irresistible force on
the mad brute’s skull, and the. boar
tottered and went down beneath it.
Jonas was on his feet in a second, and
both his and Quick’s long bladed hunt
ing-knives were hurled almost simulta
neously in the animal's heart. The men
stepped aside. The bear once more
rose made two faltering stops
toward them, struggled for a moment to
regain his poise, and then fell heavily to
thegrduud and was dead.
Several Deaths In an Ohio Family from
Eating Diseased Pork.
A Youngstown (Ohio) dispatch to
the Cincinnati Enquirer says :
“Six weeks ago, Fred, Benk, Sr., a
laborer at the Girard Furnace, killed a
hog, and from the head and other rough
parts, made what is called ‘ worst.’ Of
this, the entire family, numbering five,
ate heartily in its raw state. A few
days afterward, Air. Fred. Benk was
taken sick and died on New Year’s
day, the family physician pronouncing
the disease typhus lever and rheuma
tism. Their two children, Eva and
Frederick, Jr., aged respectively five
and seven years, were taken sick short
ly before their mother died, the symp
toms being the same. Another physi
cian was called in, and ha pronounced
the disease spotted fever. NVedncsday
of last week. Dr. Lauterman, of this
city, a graduate of the University of
Austria at Vienna, was called. He im
mediately declared the disease was
trichna*, other physicians ridiculing his
diagnosis. Sunday Eva died and was
burred,
Yesterday Dr. Lauterman insisted
on re-examining the pork in use by the
family, and with the naked eye white
bodies were discovered in the muscles,
while with the aid of a microscope, the
thread-like worm, wound up spirally,
was found in countless numbers. To
i day a small portion of the muscle taken
from an arm of the dead girl by Dr.
Lauterman, and, from calculations made
i by him, one cubic inch of muscle con
tains 100,000 trichme spirals.
The boy Fred, was visited to-day by
an Enquirer correspondent, who found
him lying in bed on his back, with his
arms and legs wonderfully swollen and
drawn out of shape by contraction of
the muscles. On touching the muscles,
his pain became indescribable. His
physician says death is almost inevita
ble. Mrs. Bench, sister of Fred. Benk,
Sr„ who lives wit h him, was taken, sick
to-day. Dr. Lautennan says that with
in twenty-four hours, she will be pros
trated with the terrible disease. Eniest
Benk, of this city, attended the funeral
of Frede.rick on New Year's day and
; partook of the meat in use in the Benk
family, and yesterday was prostrated
with trichnee. Pork is at a discount.”
Ren IfolUday'* Xose.
“One night,’’ said Ben llolladav,
“ long before tho Pacific Railroad was
built, 1 was bouncing over the plains In
one of my overland coaches. My wife
I was with me. She was sick, and lay
asleep on the bottom of the stage on a
bed of buffalo skins The night was
dark, and a drizzling rain was
falling. Mrs. Ilolladny and myself were
the only passengers. Several stages
had heon robbed within two months,
and tho driver was ripping along as
though a gang of prairie wolves were
after him. Suddenly the horses were
thrown on their haunches, and the stage
stopped. I was heaved forward, but
quickly recovered and found myself
gazing at the muzzle of a double-bar
relled shot-gun.' By the dim light of
the stage lamps the barrels looked as
big as nail kegs. “ ’Threw up your
hands aud don’t stir," shouted theown-
I cr in a gruff voice.
“ Up went my hands, and I began to
commune with myself. The fellow
damned my soul, and then coolly asked
for inj* money. I saw that, lie did not
* know who I wsis, and I was afraid that
my sick wife might awake and call me
by name. My coat was buttoned over
my Ijosoni, but hardly high enough to
hide a magnificent emerald that cost me
over SB,OOO a few week before in San
FraucWo. I hardly breathed through
feat fliht the light might strike the stone
and its sparkling brilliancy attract the
attention of the robber. I had about
$40,000 in a money belt close to the
skin, and several hundred dollars in my
pocket.
“ Suddenly ray frieml shouted, ‘Come,
shell out. d—d quick, or 111 send tho
devil a free lunch.’
“ I passed out the few hundreds loose
in my pocket, and handed him mv gold
watch and chain. They were hefty. I )
think the chain alone would weigh five ]
pounds at least.
“ ‘ There,’ said I, * there's every cent
I've got. Take it and let me goon. Mv j
wife is very sick, and I don't know what
would happen to her if she knew what \
wn*/going on.’
“.Keep yonr hands up,’ was the reply,
while aseeond robber received the watch j
and money. 'Then a search was made j
for the express company's box, but the
double-barrelled shot-gun did not move.
Its life I did not dare to stir.
My nose began to itch. The stiff hairs
of my moustache got up, one after
another, and tickled it until the sensa
tion was intolerable. I could stand it
no longer.
“ 4 Stranger,’ I cried, 4 1 must scratch
my nose. It itches so that I urn almost
crazy.’
“‘Move your hands,’ lie shouted,
‘ and I’ll blow a ball through your hoad
big enough for a jack rablnt to jump
through.’ I appealed once more. ‘NVcIV
he answered. ‘ keep your hands still arid
I’ll scratch it for you. I hate to see a
partner suffer.’ ”
“ Did he scratch it?” asked one of
Ben’s interested listeners.
“Sure,” said llolladay.
“ I low?” asked the breathless listener.
“ With the muzzle of the cooked
gun,” said the great overlander. “He
rubbed the muzzle around my mous
tach and raked it over the end of my
nose until I thanked him and said that
it itched no longer.”
The Country Store.
Just the place among the hills for the
old-time country store, that like Noah's
Ark, contains a little of all sort". You
look for it at some lazv corners, within
hearing of an anvil’s ring, and the
grind of a mill where the, creek idays in
the wheel like a caged squirrel. And
you find it, the variety store of fifty
years ago, where needle's and crowbars,
goose-yokes and finger rings, liquorice
stick and leather, arc to be had for cash
or 44 dicker.” In the corner yonder
stands the spindle-legged desk, behind a
breastwork of barrels, a bijj blotter
spread upon the lid, a goose-quill pen, a
sand box and a pewter ink stand within
reach.
Here is the wooden bench beside the
stove, covered with jack-knife sculpture,
awkward M’s like a pair of leaning bar
posts with one bar, and B’s like ox
yokes. It is here that in rainy days
and winter nights the whittlcrs, smokers,
spitters and talkers gather in, and lay
their blue aud white mittens beneath
the stove to dry; perhaps a village doc
tor, with his saddle bags and pink and
senna-nimbus: perhaps a country law
yer who practices at the country liar in
court time and the tavern bar the year
round, with his dogmatic way and to
bacco atmospheres. Here Unions arc
constructed, stories told and pigtail
gnawed. Here fore-hand farmers talk
pig and potatoes, and buxom country
girls smell of peppermint, and warm
their rosy fingers that match their rine
cheeks for color. Here clouds of smoke
from clay pipes float up among the bed
cords, brooms, tin lanterns and cowhide
boots suspended overhead. And the
store, with its red mouth close to the
hearth, roars and reddens in the howling
nights, aud the, black nail heads iu the
floor are worn silver bright by stamping
anil uneasy feet. A boy, tipped with
red as to fingers nose, curs and toes,
| stands before a short row of glass pickle
! jars, iu brimless hats of covers, w herein
lean a few streaked sticks of childish
I happiness at a pennv apiece, and gaze*
> with watering rtiotith, that keeps him
swallowing in blissful expectancy.
(•liastl) Resurrection Story.
Charltiion .VfM’i it Courier,
It having been determined by several
of the medical fraternity to dissect tho
laxly of the negro John Smith, the
Chester murderer, a white limn and a
negro were employed as the resurrec
tionists. After taking up the body, it
was at once stripped, the negro receiv
ing the clothing to pay for his services.
They then placed it in Robinson's old
mill, a ruinous building, situated slxait
two hundred yards from the railroad
depot in the suburbs of Chester. The
body war taken into the second story,
and was propped up in a sitting pos
ture, there to await the pleasure of the
doctors.
Altout midnight, three well known
negro bummers entered the mill with
intent to play a game of seven-up. The
night was dark and windy. The gay
trio ascended to the second story, and
soon kindled a ftre of fat light wood,
and. gathering iu front of the fire-place,
began thogamo. Sam dealt and “ turned
I Jack.” Pompey accused him of turn
' ing it from the bottom. “ Vou’se .Hind
er,” replied Pomp. “ You ought to be
where that big nigger is, dat was hung
to-day.”
.lust then the speaker happened to
oast his eye to the far corner of the
room, and espitd the corpse sitting bolt
upright, with his eves starting from
their blood-shot sockets and directing
its gaze apparently on him. “Good
ness,” exclaimed Pompey, “ whn dat
yonder?” His festive companions cast
their eyes in the direction that his
trembling hand pointed, and taking in
tho situation at a glance, they lumped
through the open window, at least twen
ty feet from the ground below, and
falling on their heads, of course escaped
uninjured, and made off as fast as their
legs could carry them.
The Irishman's Will.
othy Doolan, of Harrydownderry, in
the county Clare, farmer, bring sick,
wake on m v legs hut of sound head
and warm heart —Glory lie to God—do
make this, my first and last will, and
mild and new testament. First, I give
my soul to God, when it plazcs him to
take it—sure no thanks to me, for I
can’t help it then, —and my body to be
buried in the ground at Harrydownder
ry Chapel, where all my kith and kin
that have gone before me and those that
live after belonging to me, lie buried,
peace to their ashes, nnd may the sod
rest lightly over their bones. Bury me
near godfather and mother, who lie sep
arate altogether at the other end oftlio
chapel ynrii. 1 lave the hit of ground
containing eight acres—rale old Irish
ucrcttf-to my eldest son Tim, after the
death of his mother, if she lives to sur
vive him. My daughter Maty and her
husband, Paddy O’lteagel, are to have
the black sow that’s going to have
twelve black bonifs. Teddy, my second
hoy that was killed in the war in Amir
iky might have got his pick of the poul
try but as he has gone, I’ll lave them
to his wife, who died a week before him.
I bequeath to all mankind the-fresh air
of heaven, all fishes of the sea they can
take, and all the birds of the air they
can shoot, I lave to them all the sun,
moon and stars. I lave to Peter Raf
ferty a pint of potheen. 1 can’t finish,
and may God be merciful to him.
A Parrot Story.
Two sailors, who ha-1 a parrot with
them, went into a magician's show in an
upper room in some foreign city. The
throe constituted the audience. After
each feat of the magician's one of the
sailors would remark :
“ That's pretty good, Wonder what
they’ll do next ?"
Finally one of the sailors asked per
mission to smoke, which the magician
granted, forgetting that in the room be
neath was an immense quantity of gun
powder. The Jack tars and the parrot
Continued to enjoy the show, one sailor
adding the pleasure of his pipe, and the
other remarking after each trick :
“That's pretty good; wonder what
they’ll do next?”
A spark from the smoker's pipe
chanced to drop through n crack iu the
floor into the powder,and something sud
denly occurred. Sailors and magicians,
parrot and all “rose above party pre
judices,” and were all blown to king
dom come, in a million fragments, all
| except the poll parrot. lie landed in
a heap of bruised flesh and burnt feath-
ers in a potato patch three miles away.
He was utterly demolished. It took
some moments to collect himself, and
when he had partially done so he hopped
j limpingly upon a fence rail, and re
' marked:
j “That’s pretty good. Wonder what
they'll do next?”
WHOLE NO. 78.
MOTHER Sill I‘TO .VS TROTH EC Y.
It will not coiuo ium*s, at this time,
to reproduce soum* curious prophecies.
I’he following hues are said to Irnve
been published liefore the Crimean war
of 1858, some authorities dating them
as far back as 1453 ;
“ In twice two hundred rears tho Dear
The Crescent shall assail;
But it the Cock aud Bull unite,
Thu Rear shall not prevail.
But look ! in twico ten years again—
last Islam know and fear—
The CrotM shall wax, the (decentwano,
Crow pal aud disappear.'’
“Twice two hundred years,” from
1458, brings to us 1853. This was the
beginning of the Mm Ay “ Crimean war.”
Franco (the “ cock") and England (the
“ bull’’] declared war in alliance with
Turkey (Islam) agalnfd Russia (the
“ bear'’), in March, 1854. In 1856 pence
was concluded by Congress at Paris.
“ The bear did not prevail.” ** Twice
ten yenrs” from this period brings us to
1876. during which year disturbance*
commenced in Herzegovina, Bosnia and
Bulgaria, Montenegro and Servia, which
Anally involved the Porte in a war with
the last two named provinces, and al
though attempts at compromises and
mediation were made by the Congress
which assembled iff Constantinople in
the Fall of 1876, Servia alone yielded to
Turkish authority. Montenegro refused
all overtures looking to submission, aud
Russia, having completed preparations
for tlm war, made haste to tukc such ac
tion us has already given assurance that
“The (Toss shall wax. the Crescent wane,
drew pale ami disappear.”
There seems to be little doubt that
Mother Shipton’s famous prophecy was
published iu 1488 and revived in IG4I.
It runs thus:
“ Carriages without horses shall go,
And accidents fill the world with woe,
Around the world thought* shall tty
In the twinkling of an eye.
Water yet shall wonders do.
Now strange, yet shall he true.
The world upside down shall he.
A nd gold he found at the root of tree.
Through hills men shall ride,
And no horse or ass shall be at his sido.
Coder water men shall walk,
Shall ride, shall sleep, shall talk.
In the air men shall be seen
In white, in black, iu green.
Iron in tho ivutcr shall float
As easy as a wooden boat.
Bold shall be found and grown
In a land that's not,yet known.
Fire and water shall wonders do,
Kngland at last shall admit a Jew.
The world to an end shall come
In eighteen hundred and eighty-one.”
Every one of Mother Shipton’s pro
phecies has come to pass save the last,
viz : the destruction of the world In
1881. This thing gets mighty close and
nmomt’ortaMy interesting. It will not.
make much difference who shall run
for President next time, if Mrs. Ship
ton’s prediction should lie verified.
nitTHi ill uA: trot aim, vtto*
grnphy, the Keeley motor, the (’opemi
ean system, the Mont Cenis and other
tunnels, California gold mines, diving
apparatus, balloons, iron shipbuilding,
the marvels of modern chemistry and
natural science, and the political en
franchisement of the Jewish people in
England, culminating in the predomi
nant power of Disraeli. Mother Ship
ton's Las surely brought matters to a
tine point. She may fail in locating
the day of Judgment in 1881, but who
will feel easy until that fateful year
shall have come and gone without a
grand finale ?
The Navies of the World.
The unties of the European world aro
uretty full. England lias 163 teasels and
in reserve ; 60,000 sailor* with 3.000
officers, 111,(KM) marines with 820 officers.
France lias 115 active vessels with sovonty
oiprht. in reserve; 48.000 sailors with 1.800
officers ; and 10,000 marines with 780 offi
cers ; three monster iron-dads and nino
smaller coast boats. Germany has sixty
ty-one active vessels and forty-oight in re
serve ; 8.000 sailors and marines with 500
officers, and three iron-dads. Russia has
158 active vessels, mostly small; 60.000
sailors w ith 2000 officers, only one-third
serving on board ship; one mostcr iron
dad. Austria lias sixty-eight active ves
sels ; 7,000 sailors with 5<M) officers. Italy
lias sixty-five active vessels; 12,<MK) sailors
with 125 officers, and 3,000 marines with
115 officers; two monster iron-dads, tho
largest in existence, carrying eight 100-ton
guns. Turkey lias fifty-seven active Tea
sels and twenty-eight in reserve 35,000
sailors anil marines with 1,000 officers;
seven iron-clads. Spain lias 128 active ves
sels ; 21,000 sailors and mariners, with
officers; three small iron-clads. Grceco
lias twenty-one active vessels ; 7.000 sail
ors and marines. Ilenmark, thirty-threo,
active vessels; 10,000 sailors and
Holland, eighty-seven active vessels ; 12,000
sailors and marines. These sea-going en
gines of war are the sources of immense
expense to the powers using thorn : yet
ttiey are not considered indispensable as
they stand, but continual additions aro be
ing made to their number.
“ Ma, is it wicked to say damn?”
asked a youthful Flkoite of his mother.
“Why, certainly, Willie; yon must
never speak that bad word again.”
“ Well, Yuba Dam ain’t swearing, is
it?”
“ Oh, no, that is the name of a town
in California.”
“ Well, ma, when you go out the back
door Yuba Dam careful or you'll take a
tumble to yourself on that ice. I just
sat down on it so sudden that it jammed
mv neck clean down into my lungs.”
It wasjammed back into place again
in just two seconds.
“ Two and two never make more than
four,” said a public speaker. “Yes,
they do,” cried a boy iu the audience —■
“ Perhaps our young friend will kindly
tell us when two and two make more
than four,” blandly said the speaker;
whereupon the boy cried, “IV lien they
are side by side, they make 22, dont
they?”