Newspaper Page Text
THE MOTIONS OF A WAGON WHEEL.
Many years ago, before the States
were united by railroads, an eccentric
Georgian by the name of Baker, travel
ing in his private carriage, was stopped
on his return from Tennessee, on a steep
hill side of the Blue Ridge Mountains
by a wagon with a team of six horses,
stalled in a narrow part of the road. It
was impossible for him to pass until the
wagon was out of the way ; and he was
too much of a philosopher and too well
acquainted with the kind of people ac
companying the wagon, to show any
signs of impatience. Ordering the dri
ver of his carriage to stop, he threw
himself back resignedly in his seat,
drew out a newspaper and pretended to
read; while in a spirit of fun he was
studying the temper of the men, and
watching their awkward devices for ex
tricating themselves from the difficulty.
Confident at last that he was master of
the case, he alighted from his carii'jge
and going to the leading man of t~. '
company, said to him with a peculiar
knowing look:
“ You are loaded with tobacoo.*’ (This
lie only inferred from his general knowl
edge of the men and their habits.)
The wagoner eyed him with some sur
prise, and answered, “ Yes, do you
want to buy?” Mr. Baker shook his
head.
“ And are you going to Middle Geor
gia?”
“ Yes.”
“ And you expect there to sell your
tabacco and your wagon and team, and
to walk back home with your pockets
full of money?”
The man still answered “ Yes,” to
which Mr. Baker waggishly added :
“ I am from that part of the country
myself, and I cannot help wondering
whether you expect to impose on the
’cute Georgians down there by selling
them such a wagon as this.”
The wagoner was a man of humor,
too, and could take a joke when not car
ried too far; but this reflection upon
his wagon rather nettled him; and so
lie asked impatiently, “ And what’s the
matter with it?”
“ o, nothing to get mad about,” an
swered Mr. Baker, “nothingthe matter
with it at all, except the wheels:-'”
“ I am not getting mad,” said the
other; but what’s in the wheels?”
“ If you don’t get mad I’ll tell you,”
replied Mr. Baker, “ (heir tops move
faster than their bottoms!”
This was rather more than the Tern
nessean could stand. He evident
sympathized with the humorous spir?\
ot his tormentor; but no man must
depreciate a wagoner’s wagon or team,
unless he is willing to abide the conse
quences. He let loose upon Mr. Baker
with every epithet of abuse, and con
cluded l>y wueatemog to ugui, ana wnlp
him if he did not get out of his way.
Mr. Baker listened very composedly to
all that was said, knowing exactly how
much value to attach to it, then replied
in the Tennesseean’s own style :
“ I have no doubt you could whip me
at first, since you are three to one against
me. But I am one of the sort that
never stay whipped. And more than
that, I’ve got more sense than all three
of you put together ; and I’ll whip all
of you before I’m done.”
This piece of bragging so delighted
the men that without another word they
received him into their fellowship, and
were ready to listen to anything he had
to say. Among his other accomplish
ments, Mr. Baker was an experienced
manager of horses, and he soon gave
his wild companions a surprise in their
own line.
“ I was going to offer you the loan of
my carriage-horses to help you out of
the mire; but I think we can manage
without them,” said he. “Have you
any tow?”
“ Plenty,” was the reply.
lie obtained a few handfuls of it,
stuffed some in the ears of each horse,
so as to create a confused buzz, but not
to interrupt the hearing; then appoint
ing a man to the head of each pair of
the team, he mounted the wheel-horse,
saying as he did so :
“ Every man now to his post 1 for,
when I drive there is more danger of
running away than of stalling!”
He had previously gone to each horse,
patted him, and spoken kindly to him.
Now, in the saddle, he gave a loud call
to their attention, to let them know that
he was in command. At a crack of the
whip, followed by a “ Gee-up. boys!”
in a tone of confidence, which horses
can understand as well as men, each
horse leveled himself to the pull, and
up went the wagon to the very summit
of the hill, accompanied by the rejoic-
in<; teamsters.
Resting for a time on the level, Mr,
Eaker resumed the subject of the wheel,
and said to them, “ You may have sup
posed I was jesting when I spoke of
the top of your wheel moving faster
than the bottom. But I was in earnest;
it is true; and if you don’t take my
word for it, I will prove it to your eye
sight.”
“ Now, look here, stranger,” said the
owner of the wagon, decidedly angry,
notwithstanding his great respect for
his ne tv acquaintance, “ you have shown
yourself a mighty smart man in spite
of your looks; but if you don’t want
to get into trouble, you had better let
them wheels alone.”
Mr. Baker perceived that matters
were becoming ticklish; still he so
managed the case that the wagoner at
last condescended to refer the ques
tion to the highest arbitrament of which
he knew anything, —a bet. This was
declined, for Mr. Baker was not addic
ted to betting, and had aimed only at
amusing himself. But there was no
backing out, and after warning the man
VOL. II—NO. 30.
that he would surely lose, and being
scoffed at by them ali for trying to bluff
off his opponent by a show of confi
dence, the list was closed by the staking
of the best pair of horses in the team
against the handsome pair in the car
riage,
“ You had better not insist on it,”
Mr. Baker remonstrated, as they were
preparing to test the matter: •• yon will
V' e a us you try it.”
-V ow my wheels is true,” re
tortei jrr,vagi..u*i, a..d jou aio tile
one to be afeard of losing.”
“So let it then be,” replied Mr. Ba
ker ; “if you are bent on your own
loss.” !
The wagon was brought to a part of
the road which was both level and hard.
A mark was made at the top and bot
tom of the wheel, and also on the
ground. The horses were moved for
ward just one step, and an examination
was made, in which the wagoners opened
their eyes at each other in undisguised
astonishment. As, however, there was
a doubt expressed by one of the party
whether the experiment had been fair,
it was tried again with results even
more satisfactory than before. The
defeated bettor looked very chopfallen.
lie said but little ; “ I’d never a’thought
it;” then giving to his lost pets a look
of love and regret, he said to Mr. Ba
ker, with a half-repressed sigh :
“ Stranger, take the hosses. They're
yoilrn.”
Mr. Baker called his driver to take
charge of them, and after a little pon
dering, said to the Tennesseean :
“My friend, you forced me to bet
when I did not wish to; but as Tam in
for it, I will now give you a chance to
win b ok your horses. Your wheels
true, and you know it. The
top-s, he s e bottom move equally fast
on t.. kiss it, And that this is go T cf
fer tr ness, as rah of horses I have just
w get.” e >ext best pair in your
i* * "
'W~ } mer -stoned do him with
. j&nt JrnSt; sc:..inert him suspici
ously from head to foot, then solilo
quized loud enough fbr all to hear?
“ I stalled with six horses; I’ll never
get along with only four. Here’s a
pfe?"' am'h sure to win? Didn’t
I see with ray own eyes that the top of
my wheel moves faster than the bottom.
Stranger, I take your bet.”
“ You'd better not,” said Mr. Baker,
“ you'll lose again.”
“ My word's out, and I never take
back,” said the other.
Admiring the fellow's pluck, and
longing to see the bewilderment that 1
was to ensue, Mr. Baker called for a
jack-screw, lifted the axle from the
ground, so that it should revolve as a j
spinning-wheel, made a mark at top and j
bottom, and on the ground, exactly as j
before ; then gave the wheel one-fourth
of a revolution, by which means the
two marks were brought on a level with
each other, one being the length of a
spoke ahead of the axle, and the other j
the length of a spoke behind it. The j
bet had been on the question whether j
the top and the bottom of the wheel
would move equally fast on the axle.
There was no room for doubt in the
case. The Tennesseean’s second pair
of horses had gone to join the first.
For a moment or two he made no re
ply ; he was meditating. Then with
the air of a soldier surrendering at the
point of the bayonet, he delivered the
horses, saying, however, in a tone of
very equivocal respect:
“ Will .you please take off your hat?”
Mr. Baker did so with a iaugh, and
the other gravely examined his fore
head, saying:
“ All right; please let me feel your
foot.”
Mr. Baker held up each foot in turn,
which the man carefully felt, and then
added:
“ All right again. You must be ‘ a
human you can’t be anything but ‘ a
human,’ for you have no horns nor
hoof; though I suspicioned you mought
have been —mought a been —somebody
else. Now, stranger, all I ask is that
you will let me keep my team together
till I can store my tobacco, or else buy
more bosses.”
“ My friend, I am not a betting char
acter, and I would not have bet with
you at first, if you had only let me otf.
The two best pairs of your team are now
mine. At a hundred dollars apiece,
they are worth four hundred dollars.
But there is one condition on which I
will let you off from all, and that is,
that you will remember the lesson I
have taught you this day, and promise
never to bet again.”
“What !” said the Tennesseean,
opening his eyes wider than before,
“ you will let me have my bosses back?”
“ Yes.”
“ And I must promise to never bet
anymore?”
“ Yes.”
“ Well, that will be a promise mighty
hard to keep in my part of the country ;
but I make it; and no doubt Sally and
the young ones will be all the better for
it. Stranger, goodbye!”
Can any of our readers satisfactorily
explain this double motion of an ordin
ary wagon wheel ?
HARTWELL, GA., WEDNESIfIjjL MIRTH 20, 1878.
A Curious Historical Fact.
i'arttt fi’rtci.
So low was the credit of the United
States during the war of 1812, that
Congress could not borrow tho sum of
820,000 for tho purpose of defraying
the expcuscs of defending Washington
and its environs. Janies Munroe was
President at that time, but so very poor
that General Jackson afterwards said
of him, “Should I jrive every one who
npplies.to me for aid, I should be as
poor as James Munroe.” Still the
Alexandria banks loaned Congress 820,-
000 on the private endorsement of Jas.
Munroe.
Munroe had a splendid Cabinet, any
one of whom would have graced the
presidential chair: Adams, Crawford,
Wirt, McLean. What w ould the think
ing people of the United States say if
they had such a President and Cabinet
note. They all retired from office com
paratively poor; but had really enrich
ed their country by the wisdom and re
sources of their public labors, without
appropriating anything to themselves.
Times have sadlv changed since then,
but the true ‘Munroe doctrine,’ like
that of the Roman, was ‘ never to des
pair of the Republic.’ However, the
halcyon period of union and peace which
Munroe left as a legacy to his country
men, soon passed away, and the storm
of politics began to rage, and has con
tinued until the term office has become
synonymous withmoney. Who, having
read the history of the United States
government for the last fifteen years,
! will not say that Monroe’s poverty is a
curious historical fact. As Virginia
long enjoyed the reflected radiance of
his fame, she now claims the dust of the
grand old statesman, whu lies' near his
friend Marshall, another' of the archi
tects of the Republic, A statue has
been erected to the warrior Jackson ;
but none only that which lives in the
hearts Ci his grateful countrymen, per
petuate, the memory of the" statesman
Munroe. '
A Bite.
, Itochut-cr (JV. r.) Herald.
In C'hili there is an elderly farmar
hunting—and lit
has a sou who is a chip of the old block
in that as well as in other respects.
One day last summer the old gentle
man left home, but before going get his
boy at a job he was anxious to have
done. Returning sooner than he ex
pected, he found that the boy was mis
sing.
“ Where’s Tom ?” he growled as he
entered the kitchen.
“Gone fishing,” said the girl.
“ Fishing ! the rascal; I’ll fish him
when I catch him.”
And away the angry old fellow went
for the brook. Coming within hailing
distance of his hopeful son, who was
bending eagerly over the stream, the
father yelled;
“ Tom ! you scoundrel, Tom !”
There was a deprecating movement
of one hand on the part of the boy, who
did not however, turn his head. Still
more angry the avenging parent came
nearer and bawled out: —
“ I’ll learn you to stay at home and
work when —”
“Sh! shlsh! father,” said young
Isaac Walton. “ I’ve got a bite.”
The old fellow’s passion perceptibly
cooled at that announcement, and, lucky
for the boy, the latter just then hauled
up a handsome perch. This was too
much for the dad, who sprang forward
and helped unhook the fish, and then—
“ Tom, have you got another hook?”
Victory perched on the boy’s fish line.
Milk instead of Soap.
A lady writing to the New York
Time s, says:
“ Without giving any recipes for mak
ing soap, I wish to tell all the hard
worked farmers’ wives how much labor
they may save by not using such vast
quantities of this article. For nearly
five years I have used soap only for
washing clothes. In all that time, I
have not used one pound of soap for
washing dishes and other kitchen pur
poses. My family has ranged from
three to twenty-five. I have used cis
tern water, limestone water, as hard as
possible, and hard water composed of
other ingredients besides lime, and I
find, with all these my plan works
equally well. It is this: Have your
water quite hot, and add a very little
milk to it. This softens the water, gives
the dishes a fine gloss, and preserves the
hands ; it removes the grease, even that
! from beef, and yet no grease is found
floating on the water as w hen soap is
used. The stone ve-sels I always set on
the stove with a little water in them
when the victuals are taken from them ;
thus they are hot when I am ready to
wash them, and the grease is easily re
moved. I find that my tinware keeps
bright longer, when cleansed in this way,
than by using soap or by scouring.
Will our lady readers try this and
! report? N.
■ ’ 1 1 ""
I The Governor of Missouri offers
i SIO,OOO for a sure remedy against hog
1 cholera.
Hli WHUETER YOU CAW.
Wh-y, things don't go to suit you,
Awl tho world seems upside down,
Don't waste your tiiue in frotting,
But drive away that frown ;
Since life is oft perplexing,
’TI much the wisest plan,
To leyr all trials bravely.
Ail smite whenever you can.
Why should you dread to-morrow,
Arid thus despoil to-day?
For when you trouble borrow
Tow must expect to pay;
It is a good maxim
TV hicti should be often preached—
Don’* cross tho bridge before yog
Unjil the bridge is reached.
Da . _ § J r I | I
ion might bo spared much sighing
If vop would,bear in mind
The tMurcpft that good and evil
Arc tl Ways here combined *
Then -most bo something wanting,
__ And though you roll in wealth,
You r4ira from out your casket
That, precious jewel—health.
And though you’re strong and sturdy,
S)U inay have an empty purse— ,
earth lias many trials
Which I consider worse. , , l
■But whether jgy or sorrow,
Fill up your mortal span,
’Twill-make your pathway brighter
To smile whenever you can.
It Was Alive.
, I Shenandoah Herald.
He was rather an uncouth looking in
dividual, and as he sauntered into the
store the crowd sitting on the barrels
winked at each other and made remarks
about his person.
“ Where did it come from?” asked
one, pointing at him.
“ Somebody left the door open and
it blew in,” said another.
“ I (fou’t think it’s alive,” said a third.
“ Touch it and see,” remarked a
fourth,
“ Yes, it’s a man—see it moves?”
queried the first. All hands laughed
boisterously.
“ I’xn a poor man, and I don’t want
to have any trouble with anybody. I’m
a Christian, and I don’t believe in tur
moil and strife and can’t parotiipate in
it. I pray you, worldly minded )>eople,
that you will allow me to depart in
*’-'**“*# *••*•** ,
the rest, hammered the man’s hat down
over his? eyes, and another dnbbed his
nose mil of molasses from a barrel
standing by.
Then the poor Christian took a small
volume from his pocket and began
reading the Scriptures in a drawling,
sing-song tone.
While he was engaged at this the
crowd played off all sorts of tricks on
him.
One put some eggs In his pockets
and aiptiier mashed them.
Then the biggest man in' the house
pouret] some oil on his hat and lighted
it.
The! the clerk hit him under the
nose wjth a codfish.
Thet that man quietly put the little
volume in his coat tail pocket, and the
clerk vent head first into the molasses
barrel. When the biggest man in the
house picked himself from under the
counter it was next to an impossibility
to guess where his nose left off and
where ;he codfish began. No, 1 made
work for the glazier as he hit a ventila
tor in Uie window. No. 2 liatched out
half a barrel of eggs, and No. 3 got up
on the pie shelf and stayed there. As
No. 4 walked out of the door on his
back he wondered how much it would
cost to make him as good as new, and
the poor Christian man remarked—
“ The next time you folks pick me
up for a slouch look out you ain’t in
the wrong pew. Good day, fellers.
The clerk is waiting for them to come
round and settle for damage done, but
they must have forgotten where the
place is as they pass right by without
looking in, and their bills remain unpaid.
Keep an Account.
Prairie Farmer.
It is a very good plan for farmers to
keep a strict account of their labor.
We know very well that the majority
of people dislike to be faced down by
columns of figures, when the sum total
shows a decided balance against them ;
but if accounts are kept, the result will
be that greater economy will be prac
ticed in the long run, and that efforts
will be made on every hand to make ]
the balance favorable. This is the time
of year to begin. The first thing you
ought to do is to make an inventory of
everything you have. Make it carefully
and value all your property. Let it in
clude your acres, houses, utensils stock,
machinery of every description, as well
as notes and all other momentary mat
ters. If there are any incumbrances
on your property, put them down. Then
make up your estimate of operations for
the ensuing year, and start out with the
determination to live up to it. As the
year progresses, set down all your sales
and purchases, of every description;
don’t let a cent of expense or income
escape.
Your family expenses should have a
separate place in the book, so that they
may be footed into the general result at
the close of the year, and still be 60 dis
tinct as to show for themselves what it
costs to clottife yonrsolf, wife and chrl
dfen, and to furnish them amusements
nud general pleasure. You will find, in
keeping your account, of ihcoifte, that
it is a good plan to nm each field and
crop separate, so that you can, at the
close, see at a glnnec what vour profit
or loss has been on each. Keep dates
of times wllcn fields were plowed, how
they were cultivated, and wlmt tho Ift-
Imr oireach has cost. This will loach
the farmer, in a short time, which crops
aro the most "profitable.
In stock, keep a particular record ed'
eaek auiinul with pedigree, birth and
other remarks bt interest. Keep, as
well, a general diary of events on the
form for future fcfereuce.
You will find plenty of time in which
to Attend to these things. Keeping ac
count will take but a few imputes each
dar, and when you have once begun you
will be surprised to see how easily it can
be done. There is oue great point to
be kept in view ulways, and that is, to
never rip* in debt. Slum debts as you
woulc,! the jfvre. Strive to live within
your means, and you will hayc a net re
suit wheq you balance your books at
the close of the year that will surprise
and make you glad.
Support Your County Paper.
The Louisville Courier-Journal says :
| “One of the first duties of a good citizen,
is to aid as far as he can in supporting his
county paper, for that paper can do more
to promote the moral, intellectual and ma
terial interests of his county than any or
all other agencies. Show us a county
which liberally supports a good newspa
per, and we will show you a county whose
people are intelligent, enterprising and
prosperous. A good newspaper flourishes
only where the pcoplo of the county are
known abroad for their intelligence, their
prosperity in all the pursuits of life. About
the best county to move from is 011 c which
docs not support or supports indifferently
its newspaper. About the best county to
move into is one which does support, und
supports liberally its county newspaper.
AN hatever may bo thought of the silver
dollar as a circulating medium, there is at
least reason to hope that we shall have—
for the first time in many years—a hand
some coin which will not discredit the
• wuv W its appearance. The modern
makes our “change” ■’ P oor 111
comparison. The A- dPicnn coins of the
early part of th- -*' ltur y were very much
better, h* *ir recent designers seem un-
! abl to get the spirit of honest work, and
I it was well worth while for our mint au
thorities to bring over a designer from the
Royal mints who had been schooled in the
principles of this branch of art and whose
design for the new dollars appears, from
one. The dollar will have'Twftifc worth v
rccts, “ the same devices ” as that of 1837
—the head of Liberty and the displayed
eagle—but it will not bear a close rcsero
blanco in details to the cherished dollar of
the daddies. That it will he a great im
provement upon the particularly mean de
sign of the trade dollar can hardly he
doubted, and if it brings about a general
reform in tho appearance of our coinage
the Bland bill will not bo without its com
pensation.
Here are some very striking sentences
from one of Mr. Moody’s recent sermons :
“To forgive and not forget is to bury the
hatchet with the handle out. The two
corner stones of tho Christian religibn arc
death and the resurrection. Death did not
draw Christ into tho tomb, but Ifo pur
sued and bound death. It was better for
Peter to go a-fishing than to do nothing.
A man can’t afford to make any mistake
when ho builds for eternity. I never wnnt
to love anybody if there is 110 hereafter.
Until we get a better book, let us stick to
the Bible. When a man commits sin, ho
wants to amend the Bible so it will not hit
him. Nothing will upset infidelity like n
red-hot Christian. The stone wasn’t roll
ed away to let Christ out, but that His
friends might look into the tomb. People
who believe i:t a dead Savior do not know
the joy of salvation. Tho Apostles lost
their fear when the Holy Ghost came upon
them. Every man that has attempted to
tear down Christianity, has torn down
himself.”
Greenville Vindicator : “A little son.
aged three and a half years, and the only
child of Mr. Hardy Blalock, of Thomas
county”, Ga., was killed on Wednesday
last by a negro girl, who had formerly
nursed the child. She went into the kitch
en on a visit to the negro woman living
there, and taking up a pistol, asked if it
was loaded. The woman replied that she
did not know, whereupon the girl said that
she was going to shoot Willie, and the pis
tol was discharged, shooting him through
the head. The girl then left and went to
her home across the Florida line. It is
not certainly known whether the shooting
was intentional or accidental.”
A Baltimore paper gays:
Sixty thousand commercial travelers
are employed by the wholesale mer
chants of the United States, at an aver
age annual expense of $3,000, at least,
making in the aggregate the enormous
sum of $180,000,000. Which 8180,-
000,000 have to be paid by the pur
chasers of the goods sold.
An old lady sent her son to a classi
cal school in North Carolina, and asked
what branch he must put him in ? She re
plied any branch, “ but for God's sake
professor, don’t put him in Tar River !”
WHOLE NO. 82
That night as he sat watching, Kkc
the ailectionatc husbund he was at her
1 tedsido, she saw that he was deep
ly engrossed) in a book.
‘‘ Wlmfc book are you reading, dear!"
sho ftiintly asked.
“A railroad guide, roy lore,” was tho
reply.
, “ What do you want with a railroad 1
gjuldc?” sho enquired.
“ I waut to see how far it Ip to Wash-
ington, Peunxylvanift, and how tho
trains aqn*2 said Mr. Boggs.
| She would have asked him what ho
I had to do with Washington, Pennsylva
nia, hut he got up and went out and she
fell into a doze, the inclination to which
sho didn’t care to repress, even though
it delayed tho final departure that sho
had so often prated about. When she,
awoke she saw Boggs bonding over her
with n candle. lie evideuUuly hadn’t
observed that she was awake, so closiug
her t-yes she feigned sleep and overheard
the Following soliloquy, which sufficiently
explained to her now thoroughly awaken
ed senses his inquiry of the railroad
guide about the route to Washington,
Pennsylvania: “Splendid subject for
cremation—a little scraggy (Mrs. Boggs’
fingers worked nervously under the bed
clothes and she had hard work to keep
them fVom flying at him,) but the shag
gy ones incinerate quicker than the fat
ones, the doctor says. She could bo
grestsed if necessary to make her go
quicker. Think I’ll send her up by ex
press, as I’m too busy in the store to get
away. Her ashes can bo forwarded to
me in an envelope through the mail.
I’ll know them [am
1)0 unA*M. (t"i die. A lid fney il tu-KinO to
: bury them in some sunny spot where
the birds can come and sing to ’em. I’ll
send word to I)r. Le Moyne to make it
hot for her—she lias kept things hot
enough for me. And I’ll tell him to let
all tho reporters in, so us to give her a
good send oil through the papers, und
whoop ’er up Liza Jane. Sorry 1 can’t
be there to stir her up myselfj and—”
A thrilbuu’./ov'mfucr'liie weather, and
with a bound sufficient to land her on
top of any weather that ever lived, she
sprang out of bed and bad Boggs by
the car in a Hash, while she fairly
screamed : 1
“ You’ll cremate me, will you, you
bald-headed old reprobate! You’ll send
my shaggy bod)' up to Washington by
express (giving his ear a wring between
sentences,) and tell that wicked old
wretch, La Moyne, to make it hot for
me ; and you’ll have my ashes sent to
you in a letter (growing more und more
wratby, and thumping him over the
heud with the candlestick she had
snatched away from his hand) and bury
me in some sweet, sunny .spot (whack !)
where the birds may come and sing
(binglj; and you want the repot trs
there (bang) to whoop’er up Liza Jane
(boom!). Oh, you mean, wretched,
wicked old man, you; I'll live a hun
dred years to spite you, see il I don t’
Then she pushed Boggs out of tho
door and bolted it, and he had to make
up a bunk on the kitchen floor that
night, next to the stove. But a peculiar
smile played about Boggs’ face, even
when lie was rubbing the sore spots on
his bald head, and he murmured softly
to himself: “ Guess I’ve cured her of
them spells for one while.”
Mrs. Boggs hasn’t been under the
weather since, but mention of the word
cremation drives her wild.
We flourish awhile. Men take us by
the hand and are anxious about the
health of our bodies and laugh at our
jokes, and we really think, like the fly
on the wheel, that ”we have something
to do with the turning of it. The sun
does not stop for our funeral, every
thing goes on as usual, we are not miss
ed in the street, men laugh at new
jokes, and in three days the great waves
sweep over our path, and wash out the
last vestige of early footprints.
In a street car in Philladelphia an
old gentleman wus seated in one corner
and the car was full. A bevy of fair
ono3, of all ages and weights, swarmed
in, and there were no seats. Where
upon the gallant old gentleman shouted
aloud : “ Ladies, I shall be most happy
to give my seat to any one of you who
is over thirty-two years of age.” All
remained standing.
A Yankee boy, on seeing a placard in a
shop window, fc% Sugar sticks, five sticks
for 4 cents,’’ went in and calculated : “’Fivo
sticks for 4 cents, four sticks for 3 cents,
three sticks for 2 cents, two sticks for I
cent, and one stick for nothing. Isay m>s
-1 ter, hand us over one 6tick.” The store*
i keeper didn't see it.
CURED BY CREMATION.
How the rear of Plro trnmrAJi, ftnflfor-
In* Woman'll Wrath.
, ■ • CHKinnati Saturday Sight.
Mrs. Boggs had been under the weath
er ,/or two or three days. At least sho ’
said she was, but these attacks caruo,
rather .frequently, Boggs thought, tor
wkeu liis wife was 1 laving one of her off’,
spells, be bad .to cook the meals and do
all the house work. We don’t rerneni-,
her what particular state the weather
was i this,Just, time, but Mrs. Boggs 1
waVapder it vpry bud. She even told
Boggs that she didu y ( believe she was ev-
.cr going to get out of it, and she made
n hysterical request that ho bury lfer in
; some sunny spot where ,tbe birds might,
come and sing to her, and sl made bun
promise Unit he would briug flowers onco.
iv week and scatter them over her graved
A dozen times that day was Boggs call.*
ed from his work in thr kitchen to bid a
last farewell to his dying wife, but still
he libgyred. He had been through
this experience a great nmny times be
fore, so he wijsn’Jt as much algrpied as
lies might otherwise have been.