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lUtt£ TH Ai*' lll*UiOOl>. ■ * . JvlllijrvA .Ift I Mil Sonic very amusing mucdolW nrc re lnUd about Mark Twain,“of Samuel Clement when he was a small boy; among oftiersy the following : Maik had a coustaut playmate and chum, a boy about his age, named Na poleon Paveyi or, for short, Pole Pnvev. One warm spring day, the two hoy's hav ing got a holiday, Mark shouldered an old fliutdock musket, ami Pole an old squirrel rifle, without any lock ut nil, which be carried along as he had gni 1. just for the looks of the thing, and wen duck hunting ibver in Shy Bottom. They hunted faithfully for several hours and succeeded in killing a chicken-hawk and a crow, after which they commenced their homeward march, not very proud of their success, as in this region, atthut time, game abounded. Finally. Mark stopped suddenly, as an idea struck him, and lie exclaimed: “See hero, Pole, let’s get a rare— what d’ve call it? A rare geological specimen for the boss; you see lie's go: a g eat hankerin' after these things.” “ What' s a rare geological sjiecimeii, Mark?” said Pole, as he opeued wide bis eyes. “ Why, it's a rare bird what ain't nev er been in these parts before, something uiicomnionlike,” answered Mark. “ Where are you goin’ to get it, Mark ? We ain't got nothing hut this old clii< ken rohlier anil egg-sucker, and they ain't a hit uncommon,” queried the skeptical Pole. “ We’ll git her up to order, Pole," an swered Mark, as he flung himself on the green grass beneath a giantold elm tree. The two hoys went to work on their “geological” specimen. A9 Mark would pluck a feather from the tail of the crow, Pole would Imnd him a corresponding feather tlmt Jmd been taken from the tail of the hawk, which Mark would carefully insert in the pocket from which he had just taken the crow’s feather. And thus, after two hours of steady work, every one of the long fratlters ol the hawk’s tail had been transferred to the crow, and it would hawe required a careful to have detected the fraud. “Hmfis that for r. specimen, Pole?” said Mark, as he atliiiin|ly. exhibited the rt-tailtd crow td the gaze hf his com panion, resplendent iu the rich plumage of the chicken-eater. “iShe is u stunner, Mark ; a regular stunner. 1 gunss they ain't never seen a bird like thatiu Hannibal before.” The hawk was thrown away, and the boys trudged homeward. By tiie time they had arrived in town the blood of the crow had congealed and the -false feathers in tLer tail hail become firmly fixed. A As Mark Twain had said, Judge Clemens, his father, was somewhat of a naturalist, and had a passion for what ever was rare and strange in the animal kingdom. “ Why, Mark,” he said, “ w here iu the world did you get that strange-look ing bird?” “It is my opinion,” replied Mark, with an air of greater importance than he was accustomed to assume in the presence of his father, “ that this is the Bird of Paradise; leastwise that it be longs to that species.” That night the bird was carefully laid away in a place where it would he safe from the devouring presence of the old tom-cuts which Ma.k afterwards wrote about as creating such fearful des truction at his sister’s candy pullings. The report soon circulated through the town that a strange bird, the like of which had never been seen before, was killed, and Mark and Pole became the heroes of the hour. Thcmext day be ing Sunday, Judge Clemens invited all the wise men of the village of Hannibal to liis house to examine and pass an opinion on the new speci men.” They came. The bird was ex hibited on a table, around which the savaus gathered. One faction, headed by Dr. , maintained that the bird ' was nothing but a common black crow, the Util of which had been turned gray 1 by sonic accidental cause not understood, having possibly bad salt throw n on it in the young and tender days of the bird, The other faction, headed by Judge Clemcps, gecuted such an idea. It was ab surd, ridiculous. They were willing to i admit that the bird very much resembled the crow ; but, if so, it belonged to a sep arate aud distinct species from any that had ever before bcon discovered. The discussion was continued and be came exciting, Neither faction would admit themselves wrong and the other right. Mark and Pole occupied a po sition near the dik>r, and were attentive nud interested, though silent, auditors. “Wnat?” exclaimed Judge Clemens, VOL. Ill—NO. 27. warming up, “do you tell me that it would lie possible by any external pro cess to turn the feathers in the tail of that bird from black to the colors they are? These uniform rings and spots would defy the skill of the greatest paint er that ever lived. No, gentlemen,” continued the Judge, ns he rather vio lently took hold of the bird by the tail to examine the spots more closely, “no, gentlemen But the discussion was cut short by the bird dropping on the table, while the Judge held the tail in his hand.” “ Let's scoot, Pole,” said Mark, “ the show’s ended.” Ami the hoys vamosed. The Judge contemplated the “ rare ! geological specimen” with consternation and then his eyes wandered to the open door and caught a glimpse of his young hopeful and his companion in mischief cutting across the back-yard for high timber. “ Let us adjourn for dinner, gentle- j men ; wc will renew the dismission after dinner,” said the Judge; but he never willingly renewed it with any person ex. rept Mark. That night, when Mark had got into bed, after creeping through 1 the hack window, a vision of his father, standing by his bed -ide, appeared to him. “So it is your opinion, is it, that the rare geological specimen is a bird of Paiiidise,” said the vision, as it tickled mark on his naked leg* with u keen cher ry switch. “* UiYIDUU. illlii Mark said he felt sick and did not! have any opinion, which was probably line, as he had dined and slippered that ! day on green radishes found in the gar den of Foie’s mother. Hone*!) tin* Best Policy. One day die Duke of Bueclein-h, a [Seota-li houglit a cow in the lioighborhnng of DoUvcilh, where hcliv x'd. The cow jins to he inline the next thiv. rarely in the iniirning as lie was taking a walk in a very common dress, he saw a bov trying in vain to drive the cow to his residence. The cow was very unruly, and the poor boy could not get along with her at all. The hoy, not knowing the duke, bawled out to him, ill broadHcotch accent: “ Hie, mun, couie lierOi, and gie’s a hand \vi' this beast.” The duke walked slow ly on, not seem ing to notice the boy who still kept call ing for help. At last, finding he could not get along with the <>w, he called out in distress, “Come here, niun, and help us, and as sure as anything I’ll gie ye half I get.” The duke went and lent a helping hand. “And now,” said the duke, as they trudged along after the cow “ how much do you think you will get for the job?” “ I dinna ken,” said the bov, “ hut I am sure o’ something, for the folks of the big house are guid to a’ bodies.” As they came to a lane near the house the duke slipped away from the hoy, and entered by a different way. Calling to his butler he put a sovereign in Idshand, saying, “Give that to the boy who has brought the cow.” lie then returned to the end of the lane where he had parted from the boy, so as to meet him on his way back. “ Well, how much did you get?” ask ed the duke. “ A shilling,” said the boy, “ and there is the half of it to ye.” “ But surely you had more than a shil ling?” said the duke. “ No,” said the hoy, “sure that's all I got; and d’ye no think it’s plenty?” “ I do not,” said the duke ; “ there must be some mistake; and as I am ac quainted with the duke, if you'll return, I think I’ll get you more.” They went back, the duke rang the bell, and ordered all the servants to be assembled. “ Now,” said the duke to the boy, “ point me out the person who gave you the shilling.” “ It was that chap with the apron,” said he, pointing to the butler. The butler fell on his knees, confess ed his fault, and begged to l>e forgiven ; but the duke indignantly ordered him to give the boy a sovereign and quit his servic3 imnndiately. “ You have lost,” sal I he, “ your money, your situation, and your character by your deceitful ness ; learn for the future that honesty is the best policy " The boy now found out who it was that helped him to drive the cow ; and the duke was so pleased wit It the man liness ami honesty of the hoy that he sent him to school anil provided for him at his own expense. The Best Capital. Integrity of character and froth in the inner man arc the requisites of suc cess in any calling, especially so in that of the merchant. These are attributes which never fail to command respect and win admiration. No one fails to appreciate them, and if “ they do not pay ” in the vulgar sense of the phrase, they bring an amount of satisfaction and peace to the owner that all the | wealth of Croesus could not j’ield. There is no better stock in the trade than those principles—no capital goes so far or pays so well, or is so exempt from bankruptcy and loss. When known, Li toy give credit and confidence and in the hardest t imes will honor your paper in banks. They give you the capital to do business upon, and the general faith of mankind will be your guaranty that you will not fail. Let every young man, commencing business look well to these indispensable clc* meats of success, and defend them as he would the apple of his eye. If in attentive and reckless here, lift wfß im peril everything. Bankruptcy In iehar aetar is seldom repaired in a lifetime. A man may suffer in repu'a'ion and re cover—not so with the man who suffers in character. Be just and truthful. Let these be the ruling and predomina ting principles of life and the reward will he certain, edther in the happiness they bring to your own bosom, or suc cess which w’ill attend your business operations in life or both A Pat Replf. Ilvclmttr Democrat. The warmth of the true Irisii heart and the quickness of the true Irish tongue are proverbial, and feeble must he the cry of distress or brilliant the wit that does not solicit a sympathetic re sponse from the genuine son or daUgft* ter of the Kmerald Isle. Not very lotto ago, a little boy whose parents died was sent to the orphan asylum, but the place was so distasteful to him that he run away and back to his own neighbor hood. Living in the vMnity was an old: Irish woman, whom we wlll*call Kate,; and poor though she was, with a large family, site took the orphan in and cared for him as her own. The other day she was in the city making some purchases, and in one of tlie stores, a gentleman who was conversant with the facts of the case, asked after the boy. “Oh, an’ lie’s a foine bo)’, sir, and glad lam to have him with me.” “ Well, weil Kate, if there is a heaven in the next world you will get to it.” As quick as lightning cane the reply, with all the heartiness of the face : “ God bless ye, Mr. P , and sure, If I do, I'll lave the gate open for you.” It is said to bo susceptible of prcxif that a gentleman, who had taken up his summer quarters with his family in one of tin! outlaying suburbs, recently pur chased seven pounds of sugar from his village grocer, and found it sadly adul terated with sand. The next day he inserted the following paragrabh in the village newspaper: Notice. —I bought of a grocer in this village seven pounds of sugar, from which I extracted one pound of Band. If tha rascal who cheated me will send to my address seven pounds of sugar, (the Scriptural measure of restitution), I will be satisfied If not, I will expose him. The next day nine seven-pound pack ages of sugar were left at the adver tiser’s house, there being nine grocers in the village, and each supposing him self to have been detected. A lioston fellow by the name of Ephrnim Hazeltine wrote a bookseller as follows : “ Dere sur; if yeu hev got a book called Daniel Webster oil a bridge plsase to send me a copy by express c. o. and. I want ter git it ter morrer if I kin, kace my spcllin teach er ses i orter hev it. In the country the)' blow a horn be. fo.e dinner, in towa t iey take one. HARTWELL, GA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH a, MHO. mi: vox t'HAtn:. MV WHO. KI.IIKKT COUNT V. Wriltm /** The llartvM Oh haW <• fort- tfc* tyrtry fb.me, Tii mn the rt-x I'rtru p'nci-, ViTciiilliiji si-yytaT tiiilcH In spius- ; X„ hour con!on now Tll kill \ our row, B<* wolf now prowU To tiilih Voilr I'owln, No paiilhor licnr, No oik w>r clwt A rnltl.lt olmno In C'lllimilMl p]ac!'; Hn. If Wo huiil ul all, it illunt ho tho fix ; unit Any until ohoonii hour thr iloj-n In full cry, nml wot *<|uaTl like tokriiio hi, tlmiut mll-l huvo iron 11*1-- rs mill praam* a full aupply of forYrut plt'ly auU ilonl of CUrintinu jjirrr. Vfln* wo NAHi-tnlilo on the jinmml. Wo patti, - lllank lk-ttio rouml ami mum!, Then toot our hurtin ami nlve tho hoiiiul. So with illtnv liinluN. Ihnln-r tonyar, a:ul Kinartino thronto wo aot out. anil vrhon wo atart tho fa*. Hare we pi mi r ilitrhta. Luoiui: liato ami ti-mluu lirorrhos— Vfc'rrwd lit thorn* nml isnln*il hy nwitrlira : Kat-li mini bonatiug tlmt tho noan-Ht ilog to tli fox io bio tiuiorita roil bom- or blank tan limuul. Wlmn iiiou and dogs aro tirod down, lSy rlianiiij; Ueytiard round and 'round, IVc Idnw ,nir lioitia ami Wave tho ground , Alid. with cleat l‘alltu mien, t* all aro mci-h Very shivfty to roam Kmh om towards home; Abo along the Way We have little to nay. And whm we reach home, after a very hearty breakftiHt. ami without Maying much of anything about the hunt, wc huni|> up in the bod iu nornc dark, aecluded corner, and for the Mjmce of tour or live hours wc sleep very sound. A Yankee Joker. On the hank of the Hudson river, in one of the villages that dot its shore*, a lot of idlers were standing, seeing which could throw stones the farthest into the stream. A tall, raw-boned, slabsided Yankee, ami no mistake, camo tip and looked on. For a while lie said nothing, till a fellow in a green jacket, the lender of the party, a conceited broth of a boy, began to try his wit on Jonathan. “ You can't come that,” said He, as lie hurled uftone away out into the stream., •* vr-'.yVvL- not,” said Jonathan ; “hut up iu our country we’ve a purty big river considerin’, an’ t’other day I hove a man clean across it, and lie came down fair nnd square on the other side.” “ Ila, ha, ha!” yelled the auditors. “ Wal, liaow, yeou may laid’; hut I kin do it agin,” “ I)o what?” said the green jacket, quickly. “ I can take nnd heave yeou amiss that river yonder, just like open and glint.’* “ Bet you ten dollars of it.” “ Done,” said the Yankee, nnd draw ing forth an X (upon a broke down Last hank), he covered the bragger’s shin plaster. “ Kin you swim, feller?" “ Like a duck,” said green jacket, nnd without further parley, tho Vermonter seized the knowing Yorker stoutly by the nape of the neck and the basement of his pants, jerked him from his foot hold, and, with an almost superhuman effort, dashed the bully heels over head from the hank some ten yards iuto the Hudson. A terrible shout ran through the crowd us he floundered into the water, and, amid tins jeers ami screams of his companions, the ducked bully put hack to the shore and scrambled up the bunk half frozen by this sudden and involun tary cold hath. “ I'll take that ten spot, if you please," said the shivering loafer, advancing rapidly to the stakeholder*. “ You took us Ibr greenhorns, eh? We'll show you how to do things down here in New York;” and the fellow claimed the 820. “ Wal, I rcck'n yoou want take no ten spots jis’ yit, cuptiii.” “ Why? You’ve lost the bet!” “Not edzactly. I didn’t kalkilate on deuin it tlie first time; hut I tell you I kin den it,” and, Ttr spite of the loafer's utmost efforts to escape' him, he seized him by the scrulf and the seat of hie overall-, and pitched him three yards farther into the river than upon the first trial. Again the bully returned, amid the shouts of his mates, who enjoyed the sport immensely. “Third time never fails," said the Yankee, stripping off his coat; I kin do it, I tell ye.” “ Hold on !" said the almost petrified vit tim. “ And I will deu it, if I try till to morrow mornin’.” “ I give it up !** shouted the sufferer between his teeth, which now chattered like a mad badger’s; “takethe money.” The Vermonter very coolly pocketed wm m. 13i.: the ten spot, and as he turned away re marked } “We ain’t much acquainted with your smart folks ditmm here in York, hut we sometimes take the starch out of ’em np tr way ; and p’hnps veou wont try iiiKitu s4rwegerngiu. I rvck’n yeou won't,’’ he eoittifuici!; nnd putting on n broad grin of good humor, he left the company to their reflections. About Rubies. Different countrieshave different meth ods of dealing with their young. The Greenland baby is dressed iu furs, and carried in iv sort of pocket in the hack of his mother’s clonk. When she is very busy and does not wnnt to l>e bothered witlt him, she digs a hole in the snow, and covers him all up hut his face, and leaves him there until she is ready to like care of him again. Thu Hindoo baby bungs in u basket from the roof, and is taught to smoke long before he learns to walk. Among the Western Indians the poor little tots are tied fast to u hoard and have their heads flatten ed hy means of another hoard fastened down over their foreheads. Iu Lima the little fellow lies all day in a hammock, swung from a tree top, like the baity in the nursery song. In Persia he is dress ed in the most lastly jewels, and his head is never uncovered, day or night, while in Yucatana pair of saiulelsnnd a straw hat are thought to be all the clothing he needs. Turuiug a Joke. One night four young moil went to call on some young ladies at the house of an old gentleman. Alter staying n short time, they took their departure, hut returned in a little while, and either in a spirit of mischief or to revenge some iil .r r—— •*-** "ogut, uemw.a.v ly moved bodily a certain garden out house, not ornamental but usoful, to the front door of the residence. On arising ; the next morning, the old gentleman took in the s't iation at a glance. Arm ing himself with a shot-gun, he was enabled, owing to the snow which had fallen the night previous, to track the young men to their respective places of abode. lie formed them all iu line, and at the muzzle of his gun marched them to the scene of their depredation of the night previous. After summon ing his daughters to witness the fun. he compelled the young men to carry the building hack to the point from which they had taken it. It was a hitter pill, hut they submitted. What made the ease especially distressing to one of the young men, was to find his photograph, which he had given to one of the ladies, conspicuously tacked on the door. “ What does your husband do ?” asked the census man. “He ain't doin’ nothing at this time of the year," replied the young wife. “Ishe a pau per ?” aske l the census man. She blushed scarlet to the ears. “Law. no!” she exclaimed, somewhat indig nantly. “We ain’t been married mor’n six weeks.” Greensboro Herald: Some Georgia papers are trying to persuade Gov. Colquitt to appeal to the people, at the end of his present term, for re-election. Don’t you do it, Governor, don't you do it. These papers would deceive you. They would have you believe that you can be elected again • but Governor, it can't be done. A bright little boy, who had been en gaged in combat with another boy, was reproved by his aunt, who told him be ought always to wait until the other boy pitched upon him. “Well,” explained the little hero, “but if 1 wait for the other to begin, I am afraid there won't be any fight!” Gentlemen of the jury, said an elo quent advocate, you have hcem tha witness swar lie saw the prisoner raise his gun ; you hev heern him swar he saw the flash and heerd the report; you hev heern him swar he saw the dog fall dead ; you hev heern him swar he dug the bullet out with his jack-knife, and you have seen the bullet produced in court; but wliar, gentlemen, wliar, I a->k you, wliar is the man who saw that bullet hit that dog ? Gridin has flushed a white partridge. It was caught by Mr. J. B. ( arson. KIR XU CIXSOUft • r ' FOPTIf. 1 1 1 1 * 4 ** f&¥ Mm. M lSk * * < 1 tf ft f {b* kd# 9t mister printer: i Sccu Ole paiper totlier day ti.at the *t’ deeper [tide Aroun’ sain opertihoc violins that My 1 ole Man bant, An i seed A hepp About | Kttrlng onnsors, wnurts, an sew (bnth. he sed that how A ole mnan tirade awl j -t J , nito wunst fur a Mounted To be Moved, an that I tow she set! hit wus thar nex' innwnin. ji*t ns she KvpectwT. rnrer t~ tel yew plane!)’ that He tole n ft/; fur i lHred A unitor To hur, an She dldertt pra moar nor ate minlts, An the Moun ten wus moved auf jist As sinutlic as youre 1 lan. i’ve ltoad caun a ntenny Aila rite whar the utoimten noe to hoe. f that Man seams toe Think waort* kant ltee tnk auf, butt i nose tbn kan, fur 1 . had 000 an U 4 waurts tooken auf In wtin da Ily a ole nigttr man—An a int ty smart mau 2, ef lie Wus a nigor. now fur The wiolies: w|tou wo—Me an my ole Man—livd in slmberlmin co. neer klarsvil, my littul snn jenny wns B wit h‘ mlty ni two doth, this is the wa ov hit: wun nite, a vva ded ours in tho nite. jonny squalid out As lotvd as he coo-1 an sed : “ law, what ugly littol t ehihlern, with fore legs and Bln liar an 1 Itetl ize tin big as A sasser !” hy thin [ I time my <>le man was onten the fred, :i-.i S-s he : “ a wi--!i a w'n-li !" anile sane sa-ldeled ole pol an gallupt 4 mile that nite too cee a wicli dokter. nex da hear tha cunt, boatli ov em in Long trot. My ole Man an the wieh dokter. befo the dokter got intwo ilte hanse i beam him tell my ole man tlmt the chile I jonny wns B wicht allmost two deth. the fust thing lie dun wus two go an l/tok up the chimhly, an ses he : *• ho knsty, pool sty, ahraekernn dahracker." * then lie tnok too littul viles outen his poekit nnd poard sum ov Boatli intwo a tcccup an simperd hit over the (iar a fuc minnits, an giv lut too jonny two Drink; jonny drunk hit uwl upß the nex thing tho doktnr tuck n peace ov white paiper an drawed olfe fain Mac- Inver's plekter an pegged ft fast two a plank, then He axt me ef i Had arry s lypr quawter oy a Doler. sew i hunt 11B011V an Town won. then He melted hit in a Laidul an Huq a. silver ltolisr an In led the gun an fride two shute at the pldktcr. But hit snapt, the gun did —not the pickter; he tuck site an hit snapt 1 reeking as menuy as five 000 times, or inn he moar. at last ses i too the dokter, ses i, ” Doo yu taik site, an i will put a littul chunk ov fiar two tha teeli hole.” he dun sit, an hit ole jnin in tho loir sltowl ler—jlpirpiukter i meen —But hit cickt the dokter hacktirds, nil lip sot down rite slapdash in misopc pot, an hit wus a biltn at the time, and the dokter gut mitely Burnt, But i Blowed an tuk the fiar out in a hat!' a minnit. “now,” ses the dokter, ses lie, “ that ole wieli is mity tuff, that is the reezuw the gun cickt so—hit straims a gun mitely, but she is Badly liert.” ses tlu dokter, ses he: “i wisiit )U woo 1 go over to Ma -Inver’s an cee if the old Oman nint liert.” sew f put out, an when i got thar she Was in the Bed, and her leir showlder tore awl two peeees. i went hoain an tole the dok ter. he knssed her mitely, an sed nex time sliced mien how she B wielit littul childern. lie lookt about an foun a good inenny wieh hauls ; tlm lookt like tha win maid outen cat bar. Sew jonny got well, now, ef ennyboddy denies wiehes, show mn this letter, yore fren Til deth, deipha burtton. In the extreme southern part of Texas many farmers have planted corn, and in some Helds it is up and looking finely. Milwaukee is a queer place. A wo man recently froze to death there, whose husband was killed by a sun stroke two years ago. Dr. Johnson, once speaking of a quarrelsome fellow, said that if he had two ideas in his head they would fall out with each other. At a temperance celebration in New market a little lad appeared in the pro cession hearing a flag on which was in scribed the following; “All's right when daddy's sober.” Cotton still continues pouring into all the towns and cities of Texas, and the quantity marketed is a matter of surprise to many old cotton buyers. Planters have evidently been holding their crop back for better prices. An Englishman was once boasting to a Yankee that they had a book in the British Museum which was once owned by Cicero. “ Oh, that ain’t nothin',” retorted the Yankee. “In the museum in Hosting they’ve got the lead pencil that Noah used to check off the ani mals that went into the ark.”