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THAT CHECKER-BOARD. Detroit Free Prett, Up to three evenings ago such n thing as a checker-board was never known in Mr. Grattan’s house. He and his good partner have managed to pass ihe long evenings very pleasantly, and he sup posed they were happy enough until a friend from the East payed them a fly ing visit and asserted over and over again that the game of checkers was not only all the rage there, hut that it served to quicken the perceptive faculties, en large the mind and render the brain more active. After giving the subject due thought, Mr. Grattan walked down town and purchased a checker-board, and when evening came he surprised his good wife by bringing it from the wood shed and saving: “ Well, Martha, we'll have a game or two before we go over to the social. I expect to beat you all to flinders, but you won’t care.” “Of course not, and if I beat you, why you won’t care,” she replied. They sat down, and he claimed the first move. >She nt once objected, but when he began to grow red in the face she yielded and he led off. At the fourth move she took a man, chuckling as she raked him in. “ I don’t see anything to grin at,” he sneered as he moved a man backwards. “ Here, you can’t move that way!” she called out. “I can’t eh? Perhaps I never play ed checkers before you were bom !” She saw a chance to jump two more men and gave in the point, but as she moved he cried out: “Put them men right back there! I have concluded not to move backwards, even if Hoyle does permit it!” Shegave iu again, butwhen he jump ed a man her nose grew red and she cried out: “ I didn’t mean to move there; I was thinking of the social!” “Can’t help the social, Martha—we must go by Hoyle.” Iu about two minutes she jumped two men and went into the king row shout ing : “ Crown him ! crown him ! I’ve got a king!” “One would think by your childish actions that you had never played a game before!” he growled out. “I know enough to beat you !” “You do, eh? Some folks are awful smart!” “And sonic folks ain’t!” she snapped, as her king captured another man. “ What in the thunder are you jump ing that way for?” “ A king can jump any way!” “ No he can’t!” “ Y*es he can !” “ Don’t talk back to me, Martha Grat tan! I was playing checkers when you were in your cradle !” “ I don't care! I can jump two men whichever way you move !” He looked down on the board, saw that such was the case, and roared out; “ You’ve moved twice to my once !” “I haven’t!” “ I’ll take my oath you have! I can’t play against any such black-leg prac tices !” “ Who's a black-leg:! You not only cheated, but tried to lie out of it!” Board and checkers fell between them. He could get on his hat quicker than she could find her bonnet, and that was the only reason why he got out of of the house first. A Woodward ave nue grocer found him sitting on a bas ket of cranberries at the door as he w'as closing up for the night, and asked him if he was waiting for his wife to come along. “ Well not exactly ; I stopped here to feel in my pocket for the key of the barn. I shall sleep on the hay to-night and see if it won’t cure this cold in iny head.” Essentials to Christianity. Editor's Table, Sunday Afternoon for April. And when all is said, what a diminu tive notion these Boston saints must have, of the ideal of Christian manhood. The typical Christian in their estimation is a man who does not smoke nor drink wine, nor go to the theater nor dance, nor play at cards. When they have found a man who does none of these things they have found their model. Not only is their “consecration” wholly a negative thing, it is limited to the pettiest negations. Just think of it brethren! You can keep this solemn five-fold pledge of yours with all fidelity, and yet break every one of the ten commandments. Very likely some of you are breaking a good share of them every day you live. “We do desire and will Consecrate ourselves bv putting away evert/ conscious evil within us,” you say. And then you go on to particularize the evils that you will put away, and the only ones that your minds rest upon are those five mentioned above, to not one of which, probably, you are or ever were addicted. These are other people's sins, not yours. When you had written down this catalogue, and mailed all these circulars, did you not go up to the temple and stand and pray thus with yourselves : “ Lord we thank thee that we are not as other men are? ’ In all sincerity, brethren,if you had really wanted to consecrate yourselves, “ by putting away every conscious evil, do you not suppose that you would have found some sins of your own to put away, far more heinous than any of these? Have you no other gods before Jeho vah? Your money, your family, your ambitions—do you not exalt them above him? Home sectarians put their sects before Jehovah. Men whom they can not deny to be workers with God they will not suffer to work for their sect. Is there no “consciousevil” of this sort VOL. Ill—NO. 31. for you to put away? I)oyou not sometimes steal? Cheat ing is stealing. Do yotv not sometimes kill? Hatred is murder. And many a man who has been as rigid us you are in the keeping of your five commandments, has been so hard and merciless in his treatment of his work-people, that they or their children have died by slow starv ation. Are there no sins of extortion for you to repent of? In your heart are there no lurking demons of impure de sire? Do you never bear false witness against your neighbors—never speak un fair and censorious words, for example, about those who dance, or smoke, or piny cards? Do not envy and jealousy and wrath and uncharitableness still find a home in your hearts. If all or any of these things are true of you, then it would seem that you have business on hand so urgentthnt it might well detain you from preaching a crusade against cards and dancing. Solemnly, now, are not the sins that you are inclined to a great deal worse than these vou meution, which you have no mind to? “ The World Am all a Sham.” Detroit Free Pres*. “Geu’lem,” said Brother Gardner as ’ he laid down his stick of liquorice and stood up, “I war ober to de widder Smith’s de odder eaveuin, and to see if she would lend my ole woman her wash board next day, an, de widder she spoke up an’said, ‘Misser Gardner, dis world am all a sham.’ I war in de corner grocery, de nex’ day, an’ de grocer be hove a sigh as big as my fist as he lean ed ober de counter and said: ‘Misser, Gardner, dis world am all a sham.’ I was blackin’ a stove for de doctah down on de co’ner below dat same day, an, i when I got frew wid de job lie dropped : a quarter inter my band, and softly ! whispered ‘ Brudder Gardner, dis world am all a sham.’ Now. gen’lem, all dat talk am cl’ar bosh, De world am all right. Who says de hoes am a sham? Who says de cow an’ mule an’ dog an' cat am shams? De man who falls down finds solid bizness. De man who buys codfish doau’ get mutton chops. When I ax for kaliker dey doan’ gin me silk. Once in a while we may trow a boot jack at a cat an’ bit nuffiu’ but an asli barrel, but de world ingineral am plenty good uuff, for de kind of people who put in der time heah. De man who scratches his back agin de City Hall will tell you dat de world am all a sham. Dc chap whose wife supports him by wnsliiu’ an’ sewin’ feels dat de world am a sham all ober. De noodle-bead who sots out to captur’ de public wid a little head an’ a good deal of brass is no soon- er stepped on dan he cries out “sham” till ye can’t rest. I doan’ want ’o heah dat spreshun aroun’ heah, kase it won t go down wid men who work ten hours an’ pay deir honest debts.” Kissing the Blarney Stone by Proxy. Some time since one of the brightiest and wittiest of Georgia’s girls went abroad, and when she returned home about the first person to congratulate her upon her return was , a young blood of the city, whose dollars exceed ed his sense in the rate of about one hundred to one. “Aw, Miss X—“permit me to greet you. 1 know you have had a very pleasant trip abroad.” “ Yes,” she answered, “ very 7 pleasant indeed. I was all over the Continent and through England, Scotland and Ire land.” “ Ah, in Ireland; and did you see the Blarney stone ?” “ Yes, I was there.” “Oh, I should so delight to see it; it has always been a desire of mine to kiss that celebrated stone, but I have never had the opportunity.” “ Indeed ! Then you should go there.” “ I know 7 , but I have not done so; but why can't I kiss it by proxy ? You have been there and kissed it; why should I not take the influence of Blar ney from your lips ? And the smart Aleck stepped forward to proxify the young lady. But she drew back and, looking him full in the face, said: “I beg pardon, my dear Mr. B —, but I sat upon the Blarney stone.” Bike a man of great sorrow, he sank in a great heap, and hasn t seen Ireland since, and the word blarney makes him delirious. A certain resident of North Adams, Mass., recently buried his wife, a wo man of unusual size, and a few' days after the sad event a neighbor attempt ed a little in the consolatory line by re marking : “ Well, Mr. , you have met a heavy loss.” “ Yes,” replied the mourner with a sigh, “ she weighed ’most four hundred pounds !” Constitution : A Mr. Isaac V. Green, of Michigan ran away with his wife's aunt recently. In other words— Ho ran away with liis njM>ue’ aunt, Anl never again was seen, Thus proving anew what a rare old plant Xm the Michigan I. V. Green. The Missouri Legislature is so mucli in earnest to suppress the carrying of concealed weapons, that it has made it a finable offense for dealers to loan or sell minors pistols, knives, slung-shots or brass-knuckles. Sol a Hook-Judge. Aflawfn (Edward Kinq) Corretipoiulenc* to liotton Journal. “Old Si” reports many a eonversa tion between town and country darkeys which shows that they both possess no small amount of native wit. And ap ropos of negro wit and sharpness, I heard a tale the other day of a Georgia color ed trial justice which seemed to me worth repeating. It appears that a white dem ocratic lawyer was called to plead for one of his clients before this ebony jus tice, and, not fancying that the negro had any mind of his own, prophesied an easy victory fur himself. So, when it came his turn to plead, he sent to his li brary for a very large number of law books, aud, arranging them on the desk before him, began to search them and to turn down leaves in each one. When he had thus injur ked about two dozen fat volumes, he’ began bis plea, and from time to time he would pick up a book and begin reading an immensely long ex tract. The colored justice sat blinking aud showing evident signs of distrust of his own ability to comprehend, for half an hour, then suddeuly he said: “ Mas’r John, is yo —is vo gwiue ter read iu all dem books dat a-way?” “Well, your honor,” answered the lawyer, blandly, “ I wished to call your attention to a large number of opinions pertinent to the case.” “Mas’r John,” continued the sable trial justice, “ ’pearslike de mo’ ye reads outn dem books demo' clouded like 1 gits in my min’. Now, Mas'r John, I reckons dat I better decide dis case onde equity an’ justice on it. Sojes’ leaf dem books alone ’a come on at me.” The lawyer did so, but, in telling the story next day, he said : “ Blank blank his equity and judgment. The nigger decided the case dead against me after all.” Evidently the colored justice was de termined not to be overawed by too copi ous use of law books. A Xow Version of .Marco Bozzaris. At midnight in his guarded tent the Turk, Mr. Marco Bozzaris, was dream ing of the hour when Greece should bend her knee in supplianoe. apologize, eat humble pie and so forth and so on, and tremble at his power. In dreams, or, as we might say, in his mind, through camp and court ho bore the trophies of a conqueror. Also in his mind he bore the monarch’s signet ring —which cost four dollars and a half— and pressed that monarch’s throne-—a king: and thought himself a bigger man than the Akoond of Swat. How ever. an hour passed on—the Turk awoke, he woke to hear his sentries shriek, “To arms! they come! the Greek ! the Greek !” This was not all Greek to Mr. Bozzaris. He knew full well what it meant, and, springing out of bed, told the boys to light into them while he got into his clothes. Then there was flame and smoke and shout and groan and sabre-stoke and death shots falling thick and fast, like light ning from the mountain cloud, and the awfulest uproar generally that was ever heard outside of a country school. They fought, like brave men, long and well, and were about to mop up the ground with the Moslem slain, when they' heard, with voice as trumpet loud/ Bozzaris cheer his band from behind the cook-stove in his tent: “Strike — till the last armed foe expires ! Strike, for your altars and your fires ! Strike, for the green graves of your sires, and I’ll be with you the moment I can get on these blamed boots !” Bribed by a Kits. A tempt ranee lecturer who had been at work in the towns up the Hudson has been giving a reporter a page from his early experience in Michigan. Previous to his arrival in a small town where he intended to do some work, the boys had agreed among themselves to go to the meeting, but not to sign the pledge. He appealed in vain for recruits in the tem perance cause. Not a man would move. At this stage of the proceedings the belle of the town sprang to her feet and cried out: “Boys, this is really too had. Won’t you sign this pledge?” Not a soul moved from his seat. Again the fair belle appealed to the men’s better nature, but it was of no avail, they had promised they wouldn’t sign. Finally the lady said : “ Boys, I'll kiss the first man who signs the pledge.” At this juncture up jumped a tall backwoods man and drawlingly exclaimed : “ Siss. I’m yer huckleberry. “ Whar’s yer pledge?” The brave girl kissed the fel low, and the cheering which followed made the building rattle. This incident broke the ice, and before the reformer had left the town nearly every one had donned the ribbon. “ Does prohibition prohibit?” asks an exchange. We don’t know. Now stand still while we give you one : Does ap plication apple? Or, if you want an easier one to begin on, does emigration Emma? Lasting reputations are slow growth. The man who wakes up famous some morning is quite apt to go to bed some night and sleep it all off. HARTWELL, GA„ WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2 187!). fAKARIAXCA-IMTO. Xhr boy lay in bin little Imil, Though oft liln niotlior called i "On up ! conio flown to brook font, Fn*d I" “ Got up !’ hi* father bawled. Yet quiet and werene lie lay, An thouuli be beard them not ; OpowMitn did the youngntrr play. Though thing.* wen* getting hot. The time passed on—lit* did not start f Hut t*ok another nap ; Hia father uii the stuns did dart, Aid gave nil floor a rap. ITe otuml aloud, “Say, Freddie, sav ! Why don’t you leave your bed f' 1 Hut silently >oug Freddie lay, A* though he were quite dead. "Sneak, Freddie,” once again he oried, For I must soon bo gone ; And “—but a lusty huoio replied— IVs patience nearly gone. rp to his face quick ran the blood, He tore Ids auburn hair, A moment at the doorway stood Iu still, yet deop despair, And shouted 'gnin, with thunderous knock, “ Young scoundrel, do you hear t While in the hall loud ticked the clock, That grated on his ear. With angry push ho opened tho door. And slammed it to again ; With noisy strides across the floor, To the bed ho walked amain. Then came a sound like threshing wheat, Or butcher tendering steak ; Hear screams ! hear moans! hear scampering fwt! Ah. Freddie is aw ake. A ringing bell, a mother’s call, Mny sometimes rouse a lad ; But the only mm* thing, after all, Is a father when he's mud. For Better or*Worse. Detroit Free The old man Bendigo keeps a pretty sharp eye on his daughter Mary, and many a would-be lover has taken a walk after a few minutes' conversation with the hard-hearted parent. The old c]inp is stuck this time, however, and cards are out for a wedding. After the lucky young man had been sparking Mary for six mouths, the old gentleman stepped in as usual, requested a private confab, and led off with : “ You seem like a nice young man, and perhapsyou arc in love with Mary?” “ Yes, I am,” was the honest reply. “Haven't said anything to her yet, have you?” Well, no ; but I think she recipro cates my affections.” “ Does, eh? Well, let me tell you something. Her mother died a lunatic, and there is no doubt that Mary has in herited her insanity.” “ I’m willing to tnke the chances," replied the lover. “ Yes, hut you see Mary has a terri ble temper; she has twice drawn a knife on me with intent to commit murder.” “I’m used to that —got a sister just like her,” was the answer. “ And you should know that I have sworn a solemn oath not to give Mary a cent of my property,” continued the father. “ Well, I’d rather start in poor and build up. There's more romance in it.” The old man had one more shot in his carbine, and he said : “ Perhaps I ought to tell you that Mary’s mother ran away from my home with a butcher, and that all her relations died in the poor-house. These things might be thrown up in after years, and I now warn you.” “Mr. Bendigo,” replied the lover, “ I hove heard all of this before, and also that you were on trial for forgery, bad to jump Chicago for bigamy, and served >a year in the State Prison for cattle-steal ing. I’m going to marry into your fam ily to give you a decent reputation ! There—no thanks —good bye!” Mr. Bendigo looked afta-t the young man with his mouth wide open, and when he could get his jaws together he said : “ Some infernal hyena has went and given me away on my own dodge!” A Colored Voter’s Advice to Brant. J'alatlca He raid. After the arrival of Gen. Sherman in this city on Thursday, one of our colored men visited him in the Larkin House parlor, and, extending his hand, opened fire tlnisly : “ How you is, Gen eral ?” “ How are you : how are you ? where did I first have the pleasure of your acquaintance?” replied the General, shaking hands.” “ Oh, I was wid you down dar at Shiloh ! I reckon you must hab seed me, for I was dar.” “ Who was your officer and what reg iment were you in ?” “ Well, now, I don't zac’ly ’member dat; but I was dar, an* was wid you up at Columby, Souf Kaliny, too. By de way, Gen’ral, whar’s Gen’ral Grant?” “ Ah, be is in Egypt, and is about to visit Eden !” was the reply. “Haw, haw, haw! Dat's too good, too good; but look here. Gen’ral Grant's a moughty smart man, and we gemmen of de Souf would like to hab him for de three term, bub if be gwine to Edum he better stay dar, for he rnought nebber git de chance agin.*’ The Rev. Mr. Jasper, of Richmond, ! Virginia, who pins his faith on the no tion that “the sun do move,” called on Brother Scrogin to open last Sunday j evening’s service with prayer, and he did so, as follows: “O, Lord, we’s a | mighty abused people ; we’s had a hard j time in slavery ; we’s been all broken !to pieces; we’s bow-legged, knock- WHOLE NO. 135. kneed, bandy-shanked, cross-eyed, and a great, many of us hump-backed. Now, Lord, we want, to he mended up, and we want you to come an’ do it. Don’t send an angel, for dis is too big a job for an angel. You made us, (), Lord, an* you know our wants, an’ you can fix us up ns noliody else can. Come right down yourself, and come quickly. Amen.” Forward Seasons. Detroit Free Preei r. An old negro named Sam Clark, who counts a Griswold street lawyer among his friends, called at, his law-shop yes terday with a very auxious look on his face, and said : “Boss. Ize cleaned twisted up dis time, an’ I want to ax a few queshuns.” “Well, go ahead, Sam.” "Wall, all de white folks toll me dat de sezun am at leas’ a month ahead. I h'ars ’em talkin’ ‘bout it on de kyars an’ nil ober.” “Yes, this a very forward spring. I think we arc at least a month ahead.” “Well, if dat’s de case, willde Fo’th ob July come on de fo’th ob June, or when, an’ hain't April fule day dun j gone an’ passed bj r two weeks ?” The lawyer tried to explain, but Sain was more mixed than before. lie ! scratched his head and went slowly out, hut in half an hour he returned with a face longer than ever. “ Got that through your head yet ?” asked the lawyer. “ Fo’de Lawd, but Ize bin struck agin!” whispered the African. “If we am a month ahead now, dis ya’r will either have thirteen months or only ’leven ! Splain dat, now !” But the lawyer couldn’t, and Sain went out saying: “Dese white tolks ain n worry euros set., dey is. Dey go an’ git do sezun all outer gear, an’ den a nigger can’t tell whether to plant taters or dodge icicles!” Pretty, and Possibly True. A pretty story is told in St. Petersburg. A government functionary living in the outskirts of the Capital died a few days ago in utter destitution, leaving behind him, motherless and without friends or i relations, two little children, one a boy | of seven and the other a girl of three. ' Left in the house alone, without money or food, the boy did not know what to do to get bread for his sister. At last, urged by the little one’s tears, he wrote on piece of paper: “ Please, God, send me three copecks (a penny) to buy my little sister a roll,” and went to the church to slip it in the alms box, believing, in his simplicity, that the prayer would reach Heaven through this medium. A priest passing by observed the child on tip-toe trying to thrust the paper in, and, taking the paper from him, read the mes sage. Kcturning home with the child, lie took the little ones to his house and gave them the food and clothing they so much needed. The following Sunday lie preached a sermon on charity, in which he referred to the incident., and ; afterwards went round the church w ith a plate. When the offerings werecount cd it was found that the congregation had given 1,500 roubles, or nearly sl,- 000. How It Sounds. It was a calm, still night, a soft air played caressingly with the tresses of a lovely girl, and the moon shed its gen tle ray over the radiant brow of her lover, iter small brother, meanwhile, just home from the holidays, was acci ( dentally wandering in quest of a bat in the neighborhood, when he heard the | voices of his sister and her betrothed. Prompted by the natural curiosity of youth lie lingered to listen. After a few inarticulate murmurs lie became conscious of the sound of osculation, and enjoyed his position exceedingly. Later in the evening he met the pair at tea. “ I heard you kiss Fred,” he ab ruptly remarked to liis sister. “What do you mean, you rude boy ?” cried the sweet girl, turning scarlet. “Oh, it’s nouse denying it,” replied her brother; “you can’t gammon me, I know the sound, you know ; it was just like a cow pulling her hoof out of a mud hole." This is an instance of a com parison which was odious. Baltirr.ore Sun : A funny scene was witnessed a few days ago in tne Feder al Court at Danville, Va., the Judge of which (Rives) it will be rembered, re cently instructed his grand jury to in dict a number of county judges for not putting colored men on the juries. A colored man named Gravely was indict ed for selling liquor without license. When he saw the jury before which lie was to be tried about equally divided between white and biaek, lie exclaimed : “ For God Almighty’s sake don’t let them niggers try me !” Efforts were made to pacify him, but he never be came reconciled. He insisted that “ niggers would hang a man just to see him kick.” Dr, Lovick Pierce, the Nestor of Methodism in the South, and father of Bishop Geo. F Pierce, was ninety-five i years old on the 24t!i of March. FOR THE YOUNG FOLKS. Why the BtbMl has * hhort Tall, and Why Ihe One Harks. To appreciate the following story, it will tie necessary for the reader to draw upon his imagination to tho extent of conceiving an ofd negro man, witli the little folks gathered around him after supper, when lie is not too much ex Imitated by Ids daily toil: “ I)ah ! Do you hear, chil'eu ? What dat ?” Children: Oh! pap, dat ar’ nothin’ lint a pup bark’n’. The father: lie! he! chil'eu, do you want, to know how come dogs ter bark and der rabbits to Imb abort tail ? Children (altogether and greatly ex cited) : Yes, pap. Tell ns wight now. Father liegins : Lang time ago dogs use' ter whistle, and der rabbits dey use' ter have long tails; but dor dogs, dey mighty proud and kinder imposin' like. Well, der dogs an’ rabbits use’ ter talk like folks in deni olden days. One Mr. Dog went an’ imposed on Buddy Rabbit, ’cause he bigger’n Bud dy Rabbit; an’ den Buddy Rabbit iio made up his mind ter get even wid Mr. Dog cf he live. One day Buddy Rabbit was gwine 'long der road a thinkin’, when he looks ail' see Mr. Dog settin’ up bellin’ a big oak tree, des a-whistlin’ away. Den Buddy Rabbit says: “Hello! Buddy Dog, you is is a mighty fine whistler. I do b’lieve I could fix your whistle so dat, all der ladies would say you got der best whistle of any gemman in dis town.” Mr. Dog say : “ How, Buddy Rab bit ? Kf you will des fix my whistle, I'll do anvt’ing you want me ter do.” Buddy Rabbit say : “ Well, Buddy 1 can fix your whistle so it will be der best whistle in dis town, sho’. It gwine ter bite you at fuss ; but ef you want me ter. I'll fix it.” So Buddy Rabbit run his hail’ in his pocket an’ pull out his knife, an’ tell Mr. Dog ter hold wight still, while ho split iKilf sides of his luonf back. Den he says: “ Now, Ruddy Dog, don’t you whistle till I get to dat big tree way down yon der, so I can hear ef your whistle is better.” Win'll Buddy Rabbit got to der tree, Mr. Dog try ter whistle, and his whis tle done spiled so he can t whistle good a bit. And Mr. Dog gwine ter get mighty mad; but Buddy Rabbit say quickly: “ All! Ruddy 1 )og, I see zaotly wlmt’s der matter. I done split your mouf back jes fur enough to split your pres ent whistle and not quite fur enough ter get to der good whistle. Jes’ hold wight still onoe more, while I split it back jes a Icetle bit furder.” Den when Buddy Rabbit done split Mr. Dog’s mouf way back, he ran down der road, den tell Buddy Dog ter whis tle ; hut when poor Mr. Dog try ter whistle, his whistle done gone, and he say “ Gr-r-r, gr-r-r, bouf, wouf, wouf,” and growl and bark all der time, ’stead of whistlin’. So it make Mr. Dog so mad, ’cause Buddy Rabbit done spile his fine voice and whistle, and make him growl and bark, he take after Bud dy Rabbit with all his might to kill him. Mr. Dog an’ Buddy Rabbit run. And jes as Buddy Rabbit jump into der brier patch, Mr. Dog catch him by his long tail an’ bite it short olf; an’ from dat day ter dis Mr. Dog be whis tles no more, but bark with his mouf, an’ Buddy Babbit he been had a short tail.” Interest. No blister draws sharper than inter est does. Of all industries none is comparable to that of interest. It works nil day and night, in fr.ir wcath er and in foul. It has no sounds in its footsteps, but travels fast. It gnaws at a man's substance with invisible teeth. It binds industry with its film, as a fly is bound in a spider's web. Debts roll a man over and over, bind hand and foot., letting him hang upon the fatal mesh until the long-legged in terest devours him. There is but one thing on a farm like it, and that is the Canada thistle, which swarms new plants every time you break roots, and whose blossoms are prolific, anti every flower the father of a thousand seeds ; every leaf is an awl, ever branch a spear and every 7 flower like a platoon of bayonets, ami a field of them like an armed host. The whole plant is a tor ment and vegetable curse. Ami yet. a farmer had better make his bed of Ca nada thistles than attempt to be at ease on interest. “ An English l>oy was beating adon key unmercifully, when the minister of that parish, coining up, censured him for his cruelty. The boy resentfully retorted: “ I'm sure you need not care ; it’s none of your congregation.” “ How was the world made?” is be ing discussed in scientific magazines. We wern't thar, but we suppose they got all the subscription they could raise along the survey, and then bonded the rest of the work and pushed it through. One of the Richmond papers objects to the stocking of the Virginia rivers with fish, on the ground that “ it would encourage idleness among the people, who being tnus furnished with free food, would neglect agriculture. ’ A Boston lawyer, badgering a wit ness, said sternly: “I believe, sir, you have served a sentence in the State prison ?” “ Yes,” was the unconcerned reply, “ I was in the State prison, and I had the misfortune to occupy the the same cell your brother had had.” Quite a large crop of Guano planted.