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A WOMAN OX THE STAXO. Ml*a MRiimlK'* Ktidrutc In • Cmc nl 4'*nrl. BY PLEASANT RIDKRHOOD. Detroit Frto Frett. An important case of assault and battery, Shank vs. James, was up for committal trial before Mr. Lytle, the Dingyburg Justice of the Peace. Miss Artmesia Pipes, the principal witness, indeed the only one of any importance in the case, was preparing to give her evidence, which preparations consisted in a playful sporting with her be-rib boned turkey tail fun and the wreath ing of coquettish smiles on her crow footed and thickly floured face. “ ’Twas ’bout water-millions an’ tur keys,” she airily began, pleased with the interest her entrance hail created and elevated by the important role she was about to act. “ Water-millions an’ turk—” “ One moment, if you please.” inter rupted Mr. Lytle, who—although he disregarded many of the usual formal ities himself and took many short cuts to justice when occasion suited, as for instance, if it was about dinner time— never lost an opportunity of impress ing his hearers with the majesty of the law. “ One moment, Miss Pipes, until you have been duly sworn as a witness your words fall upon this honorable court like ocean spray dashing against rocks.” “ Oh, I forgot! You see I ain’t used to swearin’. Get yer book, Jedge, if you've got airy one.” The “Jedge” held his spectacles on with one hand, while with the other he rummaged in an old boot that stood under the table, and pulled out the needed volume. The oath was admin istered with much ceremony, and Miss Pipes was asked if she could give the particulars of the disturbance between Mr. Shank and Maj.^James. “You’re mighty right, I kin !” “Do you know the cause of the quarrel ?” “ You better bet I do l ” “You will please omit slang, Miss Pipes j-our vocabulary seems to be chuck full of it, and no slang is per mitted before this honorable court. Wftat was the cause of the unpleasant ness ?” “ Water-millions an’ turkeys. You see, las’ j’cnr, when the caterpillars was eatin’ Bp ev'body’s cotton, Mr. Shanks he slips round ev'ry day unbeknowinst to Maj. Jeems, and drives the Maje’s turkej'S in his cotton patch to ketch the caterpillars. An’ one day Majc he fines it out, an’ he ups he does an'—” “ The relation of last year's proceed ings will be dispensed with for the present,” said Mr. Lj'tle sternly. “ Confine your .♦emarks to the events of last week, Miss Pipes, and state the immediate cause of the difficult} 7 .” On being thus checked in her elo quent flight, Miss Pipes’ plumage—her f an —-fell. She stiffened up, snapped bef eyes spitefully and shot out the one word “liquor.” Then her lips were closed as firm as if spring-locked and the key lost. But, after a good deal of persuasion and adroit questioning, Miss Pipes continued her testimony. “ You see it was the Saturday 7 before the sec oud Sunday in December, an’ me an’ Jake, which is my brother Solymun’s youngest, an’ a pearty boy he is, con siderin’ he is a boy 7 —” Miss Pipes, you will please omit all reference to your relatives, and in form this honorable body who began the fight.” “Well, that was just what I was cornin’ to. You see it was the Satur day before the second Sunday in De cember, an’ me an’ Jake, which is my brother Solyraun’s j’oungest —an a peart boy he is, considerin’ he is a boy, Jake Pipes is—was goin’ over to Miss Jeemses’ to help her with her sewin’, seein’ as how she was behindhan’ witli it from havin’ a runround on her thim- ble finger. I mean I was goin’ to sew, not Jake, he bein’ only a boy, but a peart one, considerin’ he is a boy—he was only goin’ ’long with me fur comp ny like, becus I had ter walk becus old Peter had hooks in his eyes an’ couldn’t be rid.” Miss Pipes here paused in her recital to catch her breath and toy girlishly* with the curl that was securelj' tied with a shoe string to her back hair and dangled gracefully over her shoulder. Advantage was taken of this silence, and the question was asked : “ What kind of weapon was used ?” “ Pine knots.” And who struck the first blow ?” “ Now, look here ; pap tole me you’d all be cross-questionin’ me, an’ to look out and not get ketched.” “ Do you know who struck the first The Hartwell Sun. By BENSON & McGILL. VOL. IV—NO. lft blow ?” “ You’re mighty right I do! ’Twas Shanks! ’Twas Saturday before the second Sunday, an’ me an’ Jake, which is my brother Solytnun’s youngest, an* a peart lad ho is, considerin’ he i9 a boy 7 , Jake Pipes is—was goin’ ova to Miss Jeomeses to help her witli her sewing, seeing as bow she was behind hand with it, from having a run-round on her thimble finger. I mean 1 wus goin’ to sew, not Jake, he bein’ only a boy, but a peart one he is, considerin’ he is a boy ; an’ he wus only goin’ ’long for compn’y like, becus 1 bad ter walk beeus old Peter lmil hooks in his eyes an’ couldn't be rid. An’ Jake, ’stid o’ keepin’ in the path, kep’ dodgin’ in an’ out the bushes, till the fust thing I knowed Jake he called me. ‘ Oh, Aunt Magnesia!’sez lie. My right name is Artemesia, but Jake always calls me ‘ Aunt Magnesia,’ becus Pm so fair like. ‘ What ?’ sez I. ‘ I've ketched a possum a 7 you orter see how he sulls,’ sez Jake. * Bring him out. Jake,’ sez I. Jake brung him out an' axed me if I didn’t want to buy him, but I sed no. You see I like possum, but possum don’t like me. So Jake said he’d take the possum an’ sell him in Dingyburg; an’ ’thout waitin’ to hear any 7 ruthers whether I wanted to let him go or no, off he scoots down the wise road like greased lightnin’ an’ leaves me aggin’ on behine, an’—” “This august body before which you are now assembled is not interested in the ‘scootin’ of Jacob Pipes, ma’am, and I am compelled to request that yon will confine yourself to facts pertaining to the case of Shank vs. James,” said Mr. Lytle, with a judicial frown above his spectacles, those formidable green goggles that are never taken from their hiding-place in the old boot except when Mr. Lytle is performing hits duty as judge. •• Dill )uu Pit y tWai MuJ. *Jouivo struck Mr. Shanks with a pine-knot ?” a quavering-voiced, treble-toned young lawyer, on his “first feet” as a disciple of Blackstone. lie had volunteered as counsel for the plaintiff “by way of practice,” he said to himself. Miss “Magnesia” scrutinized him carefully, as if taking his mental meas ure, and, after keeping him in suspense some time, said curtly, “ Did I say it ?” The .young man blushed, but quickly recovered himself and asked the ques tion again; this time with such a sweet, pink smile that Miss Pipes was quite captivated, and looking tenderly at him over the top of her feather fan, began again : “ You see, sir, I haven't come to the fightin’ part yet, but I’m mose to it if you won't stop me. Pap tole me to look out an’ not be ketched, an' not to answer any more questions than—” “ Time presses, Miss Pipes. The ad vice of your paternal relative was good, but irrelevant to the subject now in hand. At the present rate of proce dure this case will occupy a week of our valuable time. Please be more concise in yoor replies,” said the Jedge, with starched voice and manner. “ Won’t get through till kingdom come if you don’t all quit stopping me every minute," replied Miss Magnesia, testily. “ Pears to inc like you all want me to commence backwards in tell in’ ’bout the fight, and put the cart before the boss. Water-millions an’ turkeys was the fust trouble. ou see when the caterpillars was jus’ goin’ it in Mr. Shank’s cotton patch he slips roun' every day and turns Maje’s tor keys in to ketch ’em unbeknowinst.” “ But that was last year, wasn’t it ?” “ You better bet it was, an’ one day when the turkeys hopped over the cross fence into the second cut, where the water-millions —” “ The occurrences of last year do not concern us now. Please consider the watermelons and caterpillars de voured, and confine your remarks to events of the present year. At what hour did the disturbance begin ?” “At egzackly 9 o’clock. \ou see me an’ Jake was on our way — ’ “ When you reached the scene of ac tion who did you first see ?” “ The scene of action ? You mean the turnip patch, where the fight was ? “ Yes.” “ Well, when 1 got near there, thinks HARTWELL, GA., WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 10. 1879. I to myself, somebody's fussin' niighti ly. It’s them Bowman boys either gettin’ up ’nuthcr row or wras’lin' for fun. You know how boys will do. | An' jus’ then Jake he comes runnin’ I back with the jiossuni in his arms, all out of breath. ’Aunt Magnesia,’ sez liq (my right name's Artemesia, but lie calls me ‘Aunt Magnesia.’ becus I’m so fair like.”) Here Miss Pipes paused, turned her head to one side coquettish ly and smiled sweetly at the pink-faced young lawyer. As she bail arrived near the scene of the disturbance in her testimony, she was allowed to pro ceed without interruption, the “ august body before which she had assembled ” thinking it best to let her have her own way. But, to their chagrin, she again begun at the very beginning. The embry o Blackstone was about to inter rupt her, but an old fellow by his side whispered: “ You might as well let her tell it her own way, Webster. You don’t know women folks like I do. When they start to say anything they’ll say 7 it or die. ’specially old girls like her." Therefore the “undeveloped” tried to possess his soul in patience while Miss Pipes proceeded: “As I said before, ’twas Saturday before the second Sunday, an’ me an’ Jake, which is my brother Solymun’s youngest —an’ a peart boy he is, considerin' lie is a boj\ Jake Pipes is—was goin’ over to Miss Jeemeses to help her with her sewin.’ her bein’ bellin’ ban’ with it from havin’ a run-roun’ on her thimble finger ; 1 mean I was goin’ to sew, not Jake, he bein’ only 7 a boy, but a peart one lie is, considerin' he is a boy 7 ; ami lie was only 7 goin’ 'long for company like becus I had tsr walk, becus old Peter had hooks in his eyes an’ could not be fid. An’ Jake 'stid o’ keeping in the path, kept doging in and out the bushes, till the fust thing. I knowed Jake he called me : ‘ Oh, Aunt Hague „;a |> L,. lu X.v mesia, but Jake always calls me Aunt Magnesia, becus I'm so fair like. ‘What!’ sez I. ‘ I've ketched a pos sum, and you orter come here an’ see how he lays on this here log and sulls,’ sez he. ‘Bring him out, Jake, I don't keer to see him sulk’ sez I. So Jake brung him out from the bushes and axed me if I didn’t want to buy him, but I said no. You see, I can't eat possum. I like possum, but possum don’t like me. So Jake said he’d take the possum and sell him in Dingyburg, and without waiting to hear my ruthers whether I wanted to go or no, off lie scoots down the wire road like greased lightnin’ and leaves me agging on be hind. And when I got near Major Jeemses turnip patch, thinks I to my self, somebody's fussing mightily; it's them Bowman boys either getting up another row or wrasling fur fun, like. And just then Jake he comes a-runnin’ back with the possum in his arms, all out of breath. ‘Aunt Magnesia,’ sez ne. My right name is Artemesia, but Jake he always calls me Aunt Magne sia, becus I’m so fair like. ‘ What ?’ sez I. * You orter run on and see em. They’re just agoing it!’ So I hurries on, and sucli a whooping and a holler in" I never did hear! Sounded like a ’nazherie turned loose ! And when I come to a turn in the road, just the other side of where that big chincapin tree had fell, I seen ’em a goin’ it.” “ Saw who a goin’ what?” At this double question of Mr. Lytle’s everybody in the room leaned forward and listened eagerly. The disturbance had created much excite ment in Dingyburg, and occasioned many minor dispnlen between the friends of the two contending parties. Even Mr. Lytle became so intensely interested that he laid aside the green ! <roor<des and his judicial sternness. I o SO ~ “ Saw who agoing what!” was re peated nervously. “ Why, them Bowmau boys a wras ling” said Miss Magnesia, artlessly, airily, as she caressingly twisted her curl that had become unfurled. She was blissfully unconscious that her last words had been an electric shock to the august body. But the undevelop ed Blackstone soon ‘‘came to” suffi ciently to ask some question regarding his client and Maj. James. “Oh, I didn’t see them! They’d done fit that fight of them, and gone Devoted to Hart County. home ’far® I got there." " Them how are you prepared to state t'i jVihftuh struck the first blow ?” “ We’*’-herns the Major told Miss Jeems ms! Miss Jmmvih Jokhne. That's how (sv.i®?* The J - dge resumed his goggles and his dlgnijjr, and dismissed the rase. . field, field, field. Atlanta ('•n*t\hitum In the ourse of three months fifty million Ollars in gold has cone to us from Ku(o|k\ and our entire production of Gold-*about three million a month— has been retained at home. In round numbers, the conutry held on the first day of last mouth #605,000,000 of gold and $121,000,000 of silver. The treas ury alone contained at that time $171,- ; 000,000 of gold and $55,0t)0,000 of sil ver. Since the first day of August the hank of England has lost $64,000.000 of specie, the hank of France $44,000,- 000, and the bank of Germany a little over $6,000,000. The greater pnrt of these los.es ciuue to this country- This drain from Europe and accumulation of the home' production have gone on until this gove. nment lias become the great specie boarder of the world. The fol lowing table shows the amount of gold in vault in principal countries on the first day of last month : TTnltMl Slates Treasury 1171,517,115 Rank of Kiitflnml 149,6:t4,775 Hunk of Erwin** 1 (15,364,M00 linpprinl Hank of (lonnuny 110,*2H0,©00 National Hunk of Netherlands Hank 66.M15.000 SwittA Uourordiit Hanks 7,7M5,000 Total #6K1,811,6d8 And still the tide of gold sets this way. The stock of coin and bullion in the treasury rose from $167,000,000 in Jan uary to $225,000,000 at the end of Oc tober ; and the probability is that nearly as large gains will be exhibited at the end of uuother year, as matters stand. Are we to go on accumulating gold and silver for the sake of having it on hand? Shall we continue to hold $250,- (jOU,Dvft tlittt Utmn UD lincii. vj pay from $12,500,000 to 15,000,000 in terest on a similar amount? What in the name of common sense forbids the investment of at least one half of this vast and expensive accumulation of specie in bonds that can be quickly put on the market if the purposes of resump tion so demand? Why levy a tax of ten million dollars on the people wheu it can he avoided without incurring any risk whatever? Why maintain the tax on matches, or on bank checks, or on scores of other articles of daily use, when a turning of a portion of the gov ernment hoard into government bonds would do away with one or more of them? These are questions that Con gress would do well to consider. It is called upon to decide between taxa tion of the people and a glut of specie; for one or the other policy must he adopted at the present session. A choice can not be dodged by Congress, and the eyes of the people are open. I’ay Jwlin WfllhiniN. At a church prayer-meeting not far from Boston, a man whose credit was not the best, and who was somewhat noted for his failure to meet his obliga tions, arose to speak. The subject for the evening was, “ What shall 1 do to be saved ?” Commencing in measured tones he quoted the passage, “What shall Idoto be saved ?” lie paused, and again more emphatically asked the question, “What shall I do to be sav ed V Again, with increased solemni ty and impressiveness of manner, he repeated the momentous inquiry, when a voice from the assembly, in dear and distinct tones, answered: “Go and pay John Williams for that yoke of oxen you bought of him !” The re mainder of the gentleman’s address was not reported. All present appre ciated the fitness rA' the unexpected word in season, and were saved from hearing a lengthy exhortation from a swindler’s lips. The incident has led us to think that there are a good many people who, be fore they make much progress in walk ing the way of salvation themselves or guiding others therein, will have to go and pay John Williams, or John some body else, the money that they honest ly owe them. There is no man shrewd enough to pursue a course of dishones ty and trickery, and still retain the fa vor of God in this world, or a good 51. 50 Per Annum. WHOLE NO. 171. ho|>e of glory for the world to come. It is best to settle up, square up, and pay up, and then it will be in order to talk in the prayer-meetings. A Hard Whiter. Detroit Fret I'reer. During the drizzle yesterday after noon there was a choice crowd of old citizens under the porticos of the City Hall, and one such group was joined hv a threadbare stranger, who scratched his itching hack against the carving on one of the pillars and asked : “ Gentlemen, is this going to lie a hard winter?” “It is!” replied every man together. “Work will Ik* scarce and provisions high, eh?" “ Yos,” they replied. “ Weather will he so all-fired co!d that water will burst all the wate* pipes, I suppose?" “Yes, it will.” “Won’t he any show for a poor man like me?” “ Not a hit.” I “ I’d probably freeze to death while looking for a job ?” “ You would—you would !” “ Well, that’s what I thought, and I want to arrange to go to the work house for three months. I don’t want to go up as a vug, because that’s low-down. I’d rather be charged with assault and but tery. Will one of you gentlemen please let me cuff of his hat and then ask the officer to arrest me?” After some hesitation one citizens with more philanthropy than tho others step ped out. His plug hat was jammed clear down to his top vest button at n blow, lie was knocked right and left by cuffs on the head, nnd as a climax was whirled around and given several kicks which weight'd fifty pounds a piece. “ There 1" said the stranger, as he shut tiff steam ami slowed upc ** That fixes both of us, you’ll remetober me nml I’ll I CllHllWlt I J'SIM, uuu JKJ U UIUJ UUI „„ ||_ ,, cer. Some of the group called one out of the corridor, hut the officer said he could not make such an arrest unless lie saw the fight or had a warrant. “Very well,” replied the stranger, as he moved off, “lam willing to submit to your mature judgment and experi ence, and I can’t wait here all day! Good-bye, prophets! I think my best way will be to get into Canada and leave your hard old winter to run her self.” A Cow Whip* on Alligator. A man living at Dooly, Ga., was look ing for some hogs which lie hud missed for several days, and was nearing the river when he heard a cow bellowing. Upon going to the bank of the river he saw on a sand bar an alligator, a cow, and a young ilf. The alligator was between the cow and calf and the river. The alligator made a dart towards the calf, when the cow rushed between them, and a fearful fight ensued. While this was raging the calf got into the wood, and paced about, bleating plaintively. The alligator was not more than seven feet long, and struck at the cow furi ously with his tail. The cow avoided ns many of the biiows as possible, but re ceived a number, one of which knocked her rolling over for about ten feet. The alligator rushed upon her with open mouth, and tried to seize her by the the nose, but she was in time to horn tire alligator under the throat, and threw it backward, and before it could strike another blow or defend itself, she was on it. The cow tossed the saurian high in the air, and it fell into the water with a splash, and did not venture to land again. The cow after rushing around looking for her enemy, ran to her calf, and make tracks through the woods for home, looking back occa sionally to see whether she was pur [ sued. * During a school inspection at a town in Staffordshire, where some Mormons had been lecturing, the inspector asked the boys why a man should have only one wife. “• Because no man can serve two masters,” was the prompt reply. “{They are both d—n scoundrels,” said a fellow-member of Congress to Thad Stevens, about two applicants for a seat. “ I suppose so,” said old Thad, “ but which is our d—n scoundrel?” A Scoundrel and a Clown, Baltimore Koeniop Bullet in Aa wm once remarked, it ia something fora minister to Ne a gentleman, even if he cannot ben Christian. But there arc at lfcMt two ministers In Brooklyn, Niw York, who do not seem to be able to be either. Mr. Beecher’s Thanksgiving ■:<rmon indicates that bo is not only wanting in religion, but in those gen tlemanly instincts which are supposed to accompany education nnd intelligence. He is not only unable to obey tho divino injunction which commands forgiveness of metrics, but he lucks even the mag uanimity of nu ordinary bully and strikes a fallen foe. lie devoted hwec e-gieson Thanksgiving day not toprta •!• mg the gospel of peace, but to proclaim ing the stalwart gospel of sectionalliaCe; and to firing the Northern heart. Witln dial supreme impudence and cheek, which characterizes the man, lie pro ceeded in the first |>lace to cxcommaoi* cnt'the South politically, nnd then tn rend the people of that section a screro moral lecture on the dignity of labor. “The South failed in sympathy with the workingehused,” he said. “Slavery was the cancer and the sword was the scalpel, hut some fibres yet remain in the body politic. The South is learn ing to change, but it is still learning. Nor has the South learned that manly work is honorable. Work w ith thought behind it is ennobling, but work in the South has been under a ban, while at the North we have worked early and late, country can prosper unless men can force nature to turu into prop* ty, by work, the produce of her breast Wheu 1 see the conduct of the South on the question of finance, 1 say that the Southern statesmen should not be put in charge of the Treasury. That State in the Northwest which repudiates its debt is a shirtne to the nation. State rights is not yet dead, or if it sleeps, it walks in its sleep nnd lives on air. (Immense applause). This is nn argument that the governing power should not pass in to the hands of Southern statesmen un til a generation coaves who know not Calhoun or Jeff Davis. If tho South allies itself with those who have protect ed her she must leave political power. The voice of the nation proclaims that those who saved it shall be eutrusted with power.” How low must the South have fallen when such an uucleau dog as this dares ~t her’ .Tin, Christians wonder at the spread of infidelity in this commj when adulterers usurp the priestly office and presume to speak with the voice of God; when Christian congregations hang upon their word* with admiration, and applaud them as they drag their sa cred office in the mire? Talmage’s Thanksgiving effort was of the light comedy rather than of the heavy trag edy orifer. All the same, however, it was, in its way, quite as effective a blow at Christianity as that of Mr. Beecher, The Tabernacle preacher discoursed on •' Wheels,” and as a religious harlequin fairly surpassed himself- After wheel ing himself through the entire course of industrial history uud every quarter of the country, to the infinite amuse ment of his audience, Mr. Tal mage, in conclusion, spoke of our resources, and exhibited specimens of iron, lead, coal, copper, <fcc., and named the States from which they came. “And last, but not least,” he said, “ and I mention it last because it is the least poetic, the ‘pump kin ' from Brooklyn. I never pass a pumpkin field but what I laugh (here Mr. Talmage laughed like the war horse that suuffeth the battle afar off) at the large, portly, aldermauic pump kin. (iod bless the pumpkin pie!” This was the benediction. A scoundrel and a clown! Those bo your gods, O Israel! Baptist Banner: The late Federal Court at Asheville, N. C., was crowded with criminal cases. Several sent to Albany, N. Y. Many were sentenced to the county jails. Why cannot our wise statesmen learn that it would be much cheaper to the nation to suppress the manufacture and sale of spirituous liquors than to punish the perpetrators of crime caused by its use, and a thous and times better? The people ought to flood our Legislative halls, Htate and National, with petitions for prohibatory liquor laws, and vote only for men who would pass such laws. Atlanta Phonograph : Lots of money has been stolen from the State since the Radicals were given the grand bounce, but there's hardly a poor man in Atlan ta who ever received a cent of it. When Bullock and his crowd done the stealing, the poor got the benefit of it. The last time a man goes intoa grave yard he does not laugh at the style of the tombstones.