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PUTTING ON AIRS. niml T*oU lh* Frill* Out ul One Mnn. He was a shrewd, white-headed old gentleman tourist who sat tipping a lemonade in Baldwin bar-room, the oth er day, and who remarked, as a self-im portant individual came in and hungri ly ordered whisky straight: “ Now, 1 ’p’ose that gentleman is one nf your bonanza fellows, and owns nbout two-thirds of thermal estate’round here?" “No," we replied, ‘‘he is a much greater personage. He is one of the successful candidates of the late elec tion.” t '• I might have known it,” remarked the old gentleman. “He acts just as I did w hen 1 was elected to congress.” “ How was that?” “ Well, you sec I was elec ied M. C. from the fourth district just after the war. We had a pretty lively campaigu yf it, and as I never had been in poli tics before, I somehow got the idea that the whole country had "quit work and was watching my contest with quivering anxiety. Every time the other side ac cused me of being a chicken thief, or a bigamist, or something, and I'd get back at them w ith a card in the lledville Warhoop headed : “Another Lie Nail ed J” I'd send a marked copy to every lea/ling paper in the country.” Did, eh?” " Yes, and I was disgusted to find they never paid the slightest attention to me either. What surprised me most was that, although I kept the president and cabinet advised of everything that occurred, I never got the slightest sym pathy from any of them. I was an ad ministratiou man, too, and 1 thought it was blamed singular.” “Didn’t notice you at all?” ‘•Not at all, sir, and when I was elected, and the boys lighted a bonfire in the main street, and serenaded me, and 1 spoke six hours in the open air as to my future course on the tariff and finances, the New York papers merely said that ‘a Mr. Gunn had been elected by a small majority,’ my name being Gonlcy, as you know. ’ “ That was bard.” “ Well, I put that all down to envy and malice and I started for Washing ton. I expected that at least the speak er of the house and a connnitte appoint ed by the senate would be down at the depot to welcome me to the capital.” “ They did so?” ‘•The only persons that met me were u committee of buckmen, who tore my overcoat half off, rammed me into a hack and robbed me, with the aid and assistance of the hotel clerk, who then gave me a dark room on the top floor, and asked the first week's board in ad vance ; said it was the rule of the house with Arkansas members.” “The impudent rascal.” “ That’s what I thought. Well, the next morning I got away from the bed bugs as well I could, and went up to the White House to sea if the president would like to stroll down to the house to introduce me and see me sworn in. I sent up my card, and in an hour or two some secretary or other sent back word that the president was art, breakfast and couldn’t be bothered.” “ That was pretty short, wasn’t it?” “ Well, I was just dumbfounded. However, I went down to the capitol, and told the sergeant-at-arms to go in and announce to the members that I had arrived. He grinned and said: “ That’s devilish good, that isand rushed off. I expected that, of course, the members would gome crowding up to congratulate me, and say something like ‘ Magnificent speech of yours, that last one, Gonley. Beat ’em by forty eight votes, too, old fellow.’ And then mebbe they’d give me three cheers, and all that sort of thing.” “ And did they?” “No sir; I hope I may never stir if they didn’t give me a back seat in the cloak room until my name was called, and a door keeper fired me out into the corridor twice under the impression that I was a lobbyist. Well, after I had been put on the joint committee on spit toons and window washing, and spent a couple of months trying to wedge in my four hour speech on the match tax, some thing occurred that took my frills out of me for good.” “ What was that?” “ Well, I was taking a drive out to the soldiers’ home one afternoon with three other members when a light buggy went by like a streak of greased light ning, the trotter driven by a solemn looking man in a rosy plug hat, who was smoking a cigar and steadying a small terrier on the seat with his elbow. *• That’s Butcher Boy.” said one of my companions with great interest; The H artwell Sun. By BENSON & McGill. VOL. IX---NO. “ trots in twenty. He’s a rattling good stcpjH'r. bet your life.” 41 Did you nortecr tlmt dog?” said an other, “Best bred pup in town —tail no bigger thqu a rat’s —infernal tine dug that.” As Iliad nothing oisc to say, I casu ally inquired who the driver was. “fcWliy, that’s the president,” said one of them with a yawn. “By Jove, how I’d like to have one of those pups!” That settled it. I’ve been as meek • % and sad as a cart horse pulling a picpic ever since.” ” ’i Alexander H. Stephens’ Wise Flop. llaeper't Young I‘topic. We are sure all young people will read with pleasure the following de scription of a very remarkable dog, which belonged to the llop. Alexander 11. Stephens. The dog, which is men tioned in the • Lite of Mr. .Stephens,” was a very large and fine white poodle, named Rio. a dog of unusual intelli gence and affection, to which Mr. Stephens became very strongly attach ed. While Mr. Stephens was in Wash ington Rio stayed with Linton Steph ens, at Sparta, Ga., until his master returned home. Mr. Stephens would usual I} - come during the session of Greene county court, whore Linton would meet him, having Rio with him in his buggy, and the dog would then return to his mas ter. When this had happened once or twice, the dog learned to expect him on tli£se occasions. The cars usually arrived about 9 o'clock at night. Dur ing the evening Rio would be extreme ly restless, and at the first sound of the approaching train he would rush from the hotel to the depot, and in a few seconds ha would know whether his master was on the train or not, for he would search for him through nil the car. lie was well known to all the conduc tors, and if the train happened to start before Bio had finished his search, they would stop to let him get out. But when his search was successful his rap tures of joy at seeing his master again were really atlecting. Ilis intelligence was so great that he seemed to under stand whatever was said to him : at a word he would shut a door as gently as a careful servant might have done, or would bring a cane, hat or umbrella. He always slept in his master's room, which he searely left during Mr. Ste phens’ attacks of illness. In a word, Mr. Stephens found in him a compan ion of almost human intelligence and of unbounded affection and fidelity, and the tie between the man and the dog was strong and enduring. “ For nearly thirteen years he was,” says Mr. Stephens, “ my constant com panion, when at home, day and night, and until he became blind, a few years ago, he always attended me wherever I went, except to Washington, You may well imagine, then, how I miss him ! miss him in the yard, in the house, in my walks; for, though blind, he used to follow me about the lot wherever I went. W T hen I was reading or writing he was-always at my feet. At night, too, his bed was the foot of my own. His beautiful, white; thick coat of wool was soft as silk. Who that knew him as I did could refrain from shedding a tear for poor Rio ?” Of course he was properly interred, in a coffin, in the garden, and placed in the position in which he usually slept, with his face on his fore-feet. The penalties for obstructing the census takers, who begin their labors on the first Monday in June, are severe. The law says : All persons above the age of twenty-one y T ears who shall re fuse to furnish the infttfjnation required by tiie supervisor or enumerated shall forfeit and pay a sum not exceeding SIOO to be Recovered in an action of debt. Presidents, directors or other officials of private corporations who refuse to furnish information required of them are made liable to a penalty not to exceed SIO,OOO. “ Does a bad egg look like a good one ?” asks a correspondent. It does, Unless you look at it with your nose. Then you will perceive a scentsible difference. Gainesville, Ala., has received a bale of cotton which weighed 040 pounds. HARTWELL, GA.! WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1880. *• Who struck Billy Patterson f” A correspondent of the Carnesvillo (Ga.) Register; who is writing a series of “historical sketches, reminiscences and legeuds of Franklin county,” gives the following explanation us to the origin of the above query: Many persons have heard the ques- tion, “Who struck Billy Patterson?" without ever knowing the origin of it. I propose to eulighteu them a little on the subject. William Patterson was a very wealthy tradesman or merchant of Baltimore in the State of Maryland. In the early days of Franklin county, be bought up a great many tracts of land in the county, and spent a good portion of his time in Franklin looking after his interests here. He was said to be as strong as a bear and as brave as a lion ; but like all brave men, he was a lover of peace; and indeed a good, pi ous mail. Nevertheless, his wrath could he excited to the fighting pitch. On one occasion he attended a public gathering in the lower part of Franklin county at some district court ground. During the day two opposing bullies and their friends raised a row and a general fight was the consequence. At the begiquing of the affray and before the fighting be gan Billy Patterson ran into the crowd and tried to persuade them not to fight, hut to make peace and be friends. But his efforts for peace were unavailing, 1 and while making them, some of the crowd in the general melee, struck Billy Patterson a severe blow from behind. Billy at once became fighting mad and cried out at the top of his voice, “ Who struck Billy Patterson?” No one could ox would tell him, wliu was the guilty party. lie then proposed to give auy man a hundred dollars who would tell him “Who struck Billy Pattersou ?’ From a hundred dollars he rose to a thousand dollars. But not a thousand dollars reward would induce any man to tell him “ Who struck Billy Patter son?” And years afterwards in his will he related the above facts and bequeath ed one thousand dollars to be paid by his executors to the man that would tell them “ Who struck Billy Patterson?” His will is recorded in the Ordinary’s office at Carnesville, Franklin county, Georgia, and any one curious about the matter can there find and verify the preceding statements. [Eds. Sun : Ben Patterson is a lineal descendant of Billy Patterson, and the man who strikes him on the snoot will have to rear back on his hind legs and reach much higher than the man who smote Billy. At the time when Billy Patterson was struck, Hart county had not been formed. Hart was formed from portions of Franklin and Elbert countifcs, and as Billy was struck in the lower edge of Franklin, what is now Hurt county is wlierfe this memorable event occurred. Many of our farmers now live on the old Patterson survey.] Philosophy, not Pistols. Tis sweet to love, lint oh, how bitter, To love a girl And then not git her. For an evidence of the above, says a Philadelphia paper, think of young Mr. ! M , of this city, who has loved to desperation all summer a pretty Chest nut street girl; think of the mauy lines of love-burdened lore he poured into her willing ear ; think of the theater tickets he has invested in ; think of the buggy rides, the flowers, the photographs, the ice-cream treats, the rings, the lockets, etc., ad infinitum, that have been hers at his cost! and then meditate upon his disappointment when, a few days since, the fair creature informed him in a sub limely innocent manner that her wedding would take place w ith Mr. S ,of Kalamozoo. Did young Mr. M drown himself? Did he snap a pistol at his lacerated heart? Did he take laudanum, arsenic, or lock himself up in a charcoal furnace? No! but he acted like a philosopher. He referred to his diary. He procured two sheets of commercial paper. He made out an itemized account of the money he had spent upon the “gal who flung him,” and sent it to the old man. The young lady pronounced it all “O. K.,” and young Mr. M received a check for the amount ($80.32) upon a prominent | bank, upon which he obtained the money ' and is now bitterly happy. Devoted to Hart County. “ Wouldn’t anybody rob an old man like me, would they ?” he innocently asked. The warning was repented, but lie jogged around as before, and after a time was seen in consultation with two straihgers who had walked him around to the wharf. An officer got him away from them and angrily said : “ Didn’t I warn you against strang ers ? Those fellows arc after j’our mo&ajr 1” “ But how can they get it when I have it in my pocket and my hand on it ail the time ?” “ Well, you look out.” “ Yes, I will look out; but I don’t want to be uncivil. When anybody talks to me, I like to talk back.” The strangers had him on the string again, and in about a quarter of an hour they loft him in a hurried manner, and he sauntered into the depot with his wallet in his hand. 0 “ There ! You've let ’em beat you ?” exclaimed the officer. “ I low much did you lend them ?” “ Wall, they wanted §20,” lie slowly replied. “And you handed it over, of course?” “ I give ’em a $. r >o bill and got S3O back.” “ Well, you’ll never see the bill again.” I kinder hope not,” he chuckled, as he drew down his eye. “It was a counterfeit which my son found in Troy, and being as I am very old and innocent and not up to the tricks of the wicked world, I guess I'll git into the cars before somebody robs me of my boots. If any one should come around looking for me, please say I’m not at home.” ■ Bleeding at the Nose. There are two little arteries which supply the whole face with blood, one on each side; these branch off from the main arteries on each side of the windpipe, and running upward toward the eyes, pass over the outside of the jaw-bone, about two thirds of the way back from the chin to the angle of the jaw, under the ear. Each of these ar teries, of course, supplies just one-half of the face, the nose being the dividing line; the left nostril is supplied by blood from the left artery, and the right nos tril from the right artery. Now sup pose your nose bleeds by the right nos tril, with the end of the forefinger feel along the outer edge of the right jaw until you feel the beating of the artery directly under your finger, the same as the pulse in your wrist; then press the finger hard upon it, thus getting the lit tle fellow in a tight place between your finger and the jaw-bone; the result will be that not a drop of blood goes into that side of your face while the pres sure continues ; hence the nose instant ly stops bleeding for want of blood to flow ; coutinue the pressure for five or ten minutes, and the"ruptured vessels in the nose will by that time probably con tract so that when you let the blood into WOMAN. First rend as written, them alternate the lines. The bliss of him no tongue can tell Who iu a woman doth confide; Win? with a woman scorns to dwell T’ntfiittibured evils will betide. They fill each pleasurable day With joy and innocent delight; With cheerless gloom and misery None are possessed while in their sight. They make the daily path of life A pleasant journey strewn with flowers A dreary scene of painful strife They quickly change with matchless power. Domestic joys will last decay Where fema(.c influence is unknown; Where'er woman holds her sway A man is in perfection shown. She’s never failing to display Truth in ito native loveliness, A heart inclined to treachery A woman never did possess. That man true dignity will find t Who tries the matrimonial state ; iVho pours coutumpt on woman kind Will mourn his folly when too late. An Innocent Old Man. !>i <’ •*{ ? Detroit Free Frets. fi • > ” * vJL'he other day the police at the Union Depot notioed a fceble-looking old man wandering in and out to kill time until his train should depart, and as lie sev eral times rtispl.vyed quite a roll of bills, lie was cautioned to look out for pickpockets and confidence men. 81.60 Per Annum. them they will not leak. Bleeding from it cut or wound anywhere about the face may be stopped in the same way. Those in the back of tlm head, arms and legs are all arranged very conveniently for being controlled in like manner. Henry Clay’s Wager# AVii* Orleans Deuwerat. In 1814 when the Peace Commission, composed of Jlenry Clay, John Quincy Adams, James A. Bayard mid Albert Gallatin, on the part of the United States, and Lord Gambler and Mr. Gtmlbourn on the part of Great Britain, were endeavoring to come to an under standing on the impurtant questions of the navigation of the Mississippi River and the fishery privileges, the British plenipotentiaries sought to alarm the Americans by informing them of the invincible army which was moving on New Orleans, supported by a powerful lleut. They dwelt on the gallantry and daring of Pnekenliam, laid much stress upon the superb character of his troops, which they truthfully declared were the dower of the British army, veterans of the victorious Peninsular oampaign, and Lord Gainbier gleefully remarked, “ New Orleans will soon be in our pos session, and the tree navigation of the Mississippi assured to irs.” This greatly nettled Mr. Clay, who had determined never to concede the point as to the great with prophetic eye, lie saw must one day be come the grandest commercial highway on the globe, and so, with the instinct of the true Kentuckian, he at once of fered to wager Lord Gainbier that the British army would never capture New Orleans, and that Paekcnbam would be disastrously defeated. “ For,” said he, “ 1 am informed that General Andrew Jackson, from Tennessee, has gone to New Orleans, and I have the most im plicit faitli iu his ability to cope with your array.” Lord Gainbier joyfully accepted the wager, which ho fixed at a hundred guineas. When the news of the rout of the British army at Clial motte and of the death of Packenham was received in Europe, Lord Gainbier approached Mr. Clay at a grand ball— given, we believe, in honor of the suc cess of the negotiations at Ghent—and handing him the hundred guineas, said : “Mr. Clay, I believe there are three kinds of beings under the special care and protection of Divine Providence —lunatics, drunkards and the Ameri can people.” A Small Hole to Rot Through. The proprietor of a tan-yard, adja cent to a certain town in Virginia, con cluded to build a stand for the purpose of vending his leather, buying raw hides and the like. Debating what sort of sign it was best to put lip for the pur pose of attracting attention, at last a happy idea struck him. Ho bored an augur-hole through the door-post, stuck a calf's tail into it. with the bush end flaunting out. After awhile he noticed a grave-looking personage standing near the door, with his spectacles, gaz ing intently on the sign. And there he continued to stand, gazing and gazing, until the curiosity of the proprietor w as greatly excited in turn, lie stepped out and addressed the individual: “Good morning,” said he. “ Morning,’’"said the other, without moving his eyes from the sign. “ You want to buy leather ?” said the store-keeper. “ No.” “ Do you wisli to sell hides ?” “ No.” “ Are you a farmer ?” “ No.” “ Are vou a merchant ?” “ No.” “ Are you a lawyer ?” “ No.” “ Are you a doctor ?” “ No.” *Whoare you, then ?” “ I’m a philosopher. I’ve been stand ing here for an hour, trying to see if I could ascertain how that calf got through the auger-kole. I can’t make i it out, to save mv life.” Seventy-two thousand dollars is the highest price ever paid for a horse in England. It was given by its richest peer, the duke of Westminster. WHOLE NO. U> FEMALE WITNESS. i A re|orter of the New York World photographs a scene in court which il lustrates the thorns that beset a law yer’s path when he is trying to escort a I female witness through tier evidence: “ 1 want to know, Mrs. ," in* terrupted Hubbard, “ I want to know on which side of your house the L is. Is it north, south, east or west ?” “ It’s on this side,” replied the lady# motioning with her hand. “ The cast side ?” " No." “ The west side ?” “ No, it’s straight across from Mrs. B.’s parlor window, not twenty feet from it, sou—” “ Mrs. ,” shouted the lawyer, “ will you tell me if that L is on the east, west, north or south side of your liouso ?” “It aint on any side of the house,” replied the witness, compressing her lips; “ it’s at the end. You know ns well as I do. You’ve seen it ninny t* time, and there? ain’t no use—” “ Come, come, Mrs. ,” interrupt ed Judge Cromer, “ tell the geulleman where the L of tlie house is situated.” “Haven’t I been telling him just a* plain as I could ?” “ Where is the L situated ?” said Hubbard, desperately. “ Right in the lot, buck against the end of the house.” “ Will you answer my question T' shouted the affuble lawyer, running up his hair in desperation. “ Wliat question ?” “ Is the L on the east, west, north or south side of the house ?” “ Judge, I’ve told him just ns plain as ever a woman could/ I didn’t come here to be insulted by no one-horse lawyer. 1 know him and Ids father be fore him. lie aint got no business put ting on airs. What kind of a family * “Silence!” thundered the Judge, “ Now, Mrs. , which side of your liotlso does the sun rise on?” ’• That one,” said the witness indicat ing- “ Is the L on that side ?” “ Yes, sir." “ Then it’s on the east side ?” “ Yes.” “ Why didn’t 3-011 say so, then ?” asked the exasperated lawyq/*. “’Cause you never asked me, 3 - oil thick-headed old fool. I know a thing or—” “That will do,” said Hubbard, "Take the witness,” he added, turning to Torn Wren, the opposing counsel. Prepared for Heaven, Sevj York World. Sometime ago one of Arkansas’ most widely known statesmen, who is now dead, was passing along a street iu Lit tle Rock, when an old colored man, who had once belonged to him, approached, took oil his bat and passed a handover his white wool, as he said : “ Marstcr, gin de ole man fifty cent.” “ Dan, you are a rohber.” “ How?” asked the astonished darkey, opening his eyes, around which rough shod age had walked, •• Didn’t you see me put my hand in my pocket?” “ Yes, sail.” “ Well, you old rascal, you robbed mo of the pleasure of giving you money w ithout being asked,” The old mau received a dollar. Bow* ing almost to the ground, while tears came out and coursed through the ago prints around his eyes, he replied : “ Marstcr, wid sich a heart as you has, and wid Abraham aud Isaac an’ do Lord on your side, I don’t see what can keep you out of heben.” A Kermon Preached to a Preacher. A little shoeblack called at the resi dence of a clergyman of the city and solicited a piece of bread and some wa ter. The servant was directed to give the child bread from the crumb basket, and as the little fellow was going away and shifting the gift between his fingers for a piece large enough to chew, the minister called him back and asked him if he had ever learned to pray. On receiving a negative answer, he di rected him to say “ Our Father,” but he could not understand the famil iarity. : “ Is it our father —your father —my father?" “ Why, certainly.” The boy looked at him awhile and commenced crying, at the same time holding up his crust of bread, and ex claiming between his sobs: “ You say your father is my father; aren’t you ashamed to give your little brother such stuff to cat when yon have got so roanv "ood things for vourself?”