The Hartwell sun. (Hartwell, GA.) 1879-current, June 16, 1880, Image 1

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JOE BAUGHN AS CENSUS TAKER. Hit t:*f>.Ttnro with an Old Maid. OijlttAorpt A'eA* Last week Joe Baughn, weighed down With the honors clinging to the offloe of census enumerator, put a pint of sweet mash in one pocket and his papers in the other, and mounting his mare start ed out Lumpiest of information. e IfAs nJtendheon* weddad to anything but Blasey’i corn, and hence is as innocent as an unshorn lamb about those charming mysteries surrounding the female element—particularly that class denominated •“old maids.” He views women through a bar-room glass, and feels assured that they improve with old age, and thinks when he tells them that they ftppeaepnuch older than their routed age lie is touching the ten derest chord of flattery. But the eyes of our friend have been scratched open and lie is now chewing the cud of a bitter experience. ' iI V It? pnracl About in this way. On Joe’s first day <ttw lie tackled a festive female of 37 summers, who had never as yet had an opportunity to run her skinny neck into the silken noose of matri mony. But the abiding faitli of this old gal was wonderful, and when she saw Col. B. ride up and dismount, Miss Betty Hopeful felt that her affini t}' had arrived. She had known Joe for years hy sight and her sharp grey eyes had detected him more than once gazing upon her during divine service. This was true, but our friend had only been attracted by the striking resem blance between Miss Betty’s neck and that of his favorite bottle at Young’s. When the enumerator rapped at the door the spinster was there to open it, and welcomed him with a smile that bore a strong resemblance to a withered sunflower. Joseph did not much like the encouraging and confiding manner in which this over-zealous female invi ted him to be seated, and visions of leap-year and breach of promise suits began to dawn upon him. “Is your father at home ?” he timid ly asked, drawing out his pen and paper. “ We are all alone—so you need not bother to write your questions,” was the.blusbing reply, as she edged her chair a bit nearer. “ Y-e-s-’m, but I wanted to see him abou—” “ Oh ! papa has always thought a deal of you, Mr. Baughn, and I am sure he would acquiesce in my preference.” “ But I want to find out about his farm,” persisted Joe, growing red in the face. “ Oh, you mercenary man! Why papa always,does a good part by his children. Uncle Jim lives on the land he intends to give me.” “ And about l> ia ***ik °7>p ( and children S * * “ f declare ! What curiosity you men have. Why papa intends to give us a nice start.” “ But you don’t understand me,” al most shrieked Joe; “ I am a census taker, and the law requires me to find out these questions.” The female was keen and saw at a glance that she had counted without her host, but thought it would not come amiss to play a few cards. “ I perfectly understand that, Mr. Baughn, 'but you sec papa is not at home afid I must answer your questions. Of course you must stay to dinner.” Being thus reassured our friend promised, and while waiting he brought out his papersaiul began: “ Ilow many acres on this place ! “ Let me see—there are 20 in the gin-house field, about 45 in the big bot tom, and then he sold 225 to Mr. M., and—well, I declare I don’t know.” “ Ilow much corn, cotton, etc., did he raise last year ?” “ I heard him say, but I forgot. You can look at the corn in the crib and see for yourself. It's been used from.” Seeing that his fair informant knew nothing about the farm, Joe decided to try her on household matters. “ Ilow many children are there in the family?” “ There’s Johnnie, who died with—” I mean how many alive now ?” “ Well,” Mis 9 Betty continued, coun ting on her fingers ; “ there’s sister Sue, who married Mr. Jones and moved to Missis —” “ But you don't understand me,” per sisted Joe. “It is only the names of those now living here that I want, and their ages.” “The ages! Why have you got down Nancy Brown’s age? Do let me see it.” The paper was turned over to her. “ Why, just to think here she’s gone and made you put her down only 22, when everybody knows she will never see 3(i again. You ought to take the pen and change it right now.” * 1 will write down your name now, Miss Betty, llow old are you ?” << if you are going to let that Nance Brown pass for 22, you can put me down 13 in September." But that is not your age, and the law requires me to be correct,” “ How old do you take me for ?” she asked, with a winsome smile, “ I don’t care to take you at any age, but judging by outward signs, I would say you are not far from 45, Am I right?” A single glance into the spinster’s face showed him that he was all wrong. Towering with rage she poured upon the head of the enumerator her biggest vial of wrath: “Yes, you saffron-hearted, lantern jawed old whisky faucet; you imagine everybody is as old and ugly as your self. Clear out of this bouse, for you The JLlabtwell Sun. Bv BENSON & McGill. VOL. IV—NO. II don’t get no census here as long as my head’s warm. You can go back to them Browns, that you are so quick to lie for, and get your dinner. If pa was here he’d show you how to sneak round insulting ladies. Clear out, I say, be fore I show you how many dogs we’ve got, you dirty-footed old gutter-snipe ! Don’t you hear me —tramp, I say!” Joe has written to the Supervisor that there is one house he does not think it advisable for him to attempt to take, and to know if he can’t trade off the (Hade district for one in which there are no old maids. Some Chinese Delicacies. Archdeacon John Henry Gray was the British Chaplain at Hong Kong from 1851 to 1877, and during his long residence in the country acquired the spoken language of the people and be came more conversant with the Empire in the neighborhood of Canton than any other foreigner. The result of his ob servations was embodied in a work on “China: A History of the Laws, Man ners and Customs of the People.” His wife has now published a volume of her letters home, during the period of her residence at Canton, in which, while describing very much the same things that are discussed in her hus band’s book, she has managed to invest them with new interest, and to render the information conveyed by them val uable not only for its own merit, but also as complimentary to the work of the good Archdeacon. In one of Mrs. Gray’s letters she gives a graphic ac count of how she was led to partake of what Chinese epicureans would consid er great luxuries. She says : “ I have been a victim of a wicked conspiracy on the part of my husband and the ser vants. You will learn from my last letter that I could not be prevailed up- on to taste the delicacies of cat, dog. and rat, provided at the Chinese dinner, and served up in the dainty bowls. Well, when Henry returned borne that night he said to Mak : ‘ Now, under stand, your misse must eat cat, dog and rat; you go catchee them, and ev ery morning you give one piece to eat that breakfast time.’ The days pass ed, and Henry, thinking the servant had forgotten all about bis order, sat down to p-o'i'-o, ,■ . t - . -* ’ ■ say tne biter was bitten ; for he, as well as our friend, partook of a dish of mince, which was served up with a wall of potatoes. This was according to Henry’s wish, as he thought the pota toes, served in English fashion, would be a good disguise. Having tasted it, and not liking the flavor, Henry said, sotto voce, to the waiting boy : “ What fashion chow chow this thing?’ and the answer was : ‘ Belong one piecee dog.’ I ate my portion without comment, thinking it calf s head mixed; but the idea did pass through my head that it was rather high, and I looked toward our friend, but he seemed to be enjoy ing it. The following morning another mince was served up, of which Henry did not partake, but I did not notice this, lie declares that I helped myself twice to it. This mince was also dis guised by a wall of potatoes. On the third morning another of these mince dishes, ornamented again with potatoes was handed round, and our friend, who had been let into the secret, helped himself liberally and pronounced the dish good. I remained in ignorance of what I had eaten until the middle of: the next day, when the gentleman burst j into a fit of laughter, and told me the hoax that had been practiced on me and that I had eaten dog the first morn ing, cat the second, and rat the third morning. Does it not show how much there is in imagination? for had I been told beforehand what the dishes would contain, I could not have swallowed a mouthful of their contents.” The Arlington Advance thinks that “ It is a shame, and outrage on civili zation and humanity, that a jury of 12 decent men should have to sit for hours on hard plank benches and listen to a fumbling lawyer speak in the tone and manner of a boy begging his mother not to give him vermifuge. This sort of cruelty to animals should be stop ped in good old Early,” and in many other portions of our country. A lawyer in Virginia not remark able for bis cleanliness of person, ap peared at a party a while ago with a rose in his button-hole. “ Where do you suppose it came from?” said he to a brother lawyer who was admiring it. The latter looked up and down the en tire length of the questioner, and with great deliberation responded : “ Why, I suppose it grew there.” The Internal Revenue Commissioner has decided that fanners and others sell ing manufactured tobacco to their hands, with or without profit, are sub ject to the special tax. This decision took effect May Ist. When a man of varied talents has reached the age of thirty years without having decided precisely what he will; be, he may as well settle down to the j conclusion that he is not going to be i i anything in particular. Devoted to Hart County. HARTWELL, GA„ WEDNESDAY. JUNE 18, 1880. EDITOR BAGSHOTS ASSISTANT. F. F. Ten Kyek in Warerly Maytuine. Col. Bagshot runs a weekly news paper called the Union, up in Chodunk. Recently the colonel was called away to New York on business, leaving the Union in the hands of an assistant who had beer in his employ some little time. Now the colonel knew that said as sistant had the check of a brass statue, and the audacity of a New England fly, .both indispensable attributes of the newspaper man ; but still, after being in the city about a week, lie began to grow uneasy, and telegraphed to Cho dunk : • “ How’s things ?” Back came the answer from the Union’s sub editor: “ Bully ! Circulation of the old tiling’s gone up a thousand. Been get ting up a red-hot paper, and there’s a gang outside that are weeping because they can’t hoist the shingles off the roof and knock the whole concern to thunder. Stay away as long as you like.” Bagshot didn’t waste a moment after receiving this encouraging dispatch. lie started home in the first train, and reached Chodunk before night. The first man that struck him was the ticket agent. “ Look here, colonel!” he cried, ex citedly, “ I’ve a darned good notion to puncli your head ; you brazen-faced old liar.” “ Why ?” “ Head that!” and the ticket agent shoved a crumpled Union into his hand. There was a paragraph, marked, as follows: “ Railroad News. —The bandy-legged idiot who rolls the railroad company at this village lias purchased anew pocket knife. More knocking down from the casli drawer.” Bagsliot bit his lip. “Bill,” said he, ‘'that’s a calumny, and I’ll see it righted in our next. It’s my cussed assistant’s work.” “ I don't care whose work it is,” growled the agent, “ but if it ain't con tradicted, somebody’s got to die ; that’s all.” Bagsliot didn’t reply, but sailed down the strafit fcjfjfone half a block before he collided with Deacon Marsh. The deacon seized him h}’ the shoul der and exclaimed: “ What do you mean, Bagsliot, by inserting that scandalously untrue item about me ?” “ Didn't insert any item,” replied the colonel. “ Don’t sneak out of it in that wa}’.” You know you did. Why I just cut it out of the Union—listen — ‘'Religions Intelligence. —That whited sepulchre, Deacon Marsh, was noticed last Saturday night, trying to open the coal-hole in front of his residence with his night key. The deacon was full as a goat, and couldn’t tell moonshine from green cheese.” , “Now that’s nice, ain’t it, saying that I was intoxicated Saturday night, when I went to bed at seven with a raging toothache ?” “ It’s that reckless fool whom I left in charge,” groaned the colonel. “ I’ll make it all right Marsh,” and Bagsliot scurried on again, only to be confront ed by Major Blim. “Colonel!” uttered Blim, in bis deep est voice, “ this is villainous ! It’s my intention, sir, to call you and shoot you through the heart. What the deuce do you mean by publishing this note in the Union : “ Millitary Jottings . —Major Blim, the tattered old beggar, who hid in an oyster barrel during the battle of Bull linn, wears a wig. He ought to be shot in the back with a baked apple.” “ I can’t help*it, Blim,” said Bagsliot, wiping ins forehead, “ it’s all owing to that young devil in the office. Ile has made a red-hot paper. Just wait, ma jor, and I’ll fix things.” Then Bagshot started again. By the post-office old Parker grabbed him. *• Oh, you unfeeling ghoul!” wailed Parker, “ you ought to be rode on a rail. The idea of making fun of my poor, ! dead child!” “ How ?” “ IIow! Have you the cheek to ask how ? Maybe you didn't shove this into the Union, did you, you heartless 1 hypocrite: “OHITUAKY. Little Bennie Parker Ilad a stomach pain. Rhubarb and ipecac Both were in vain ; He kicked the golden bucket, His parents’ hearts are sore ; They’ll bury him to-morrow, At a quarter of four.” Of course Bagshot had to explain, and promised the bereaved father a two column notice of the dead Bennie's i many virtues. j Hardly had he done so, before young | Cooley appeared. “ Colonel Bagshot,” announced he, “you’re a lying scoundrel. This is a nice thing to put in your blackguard I sheet about a young lady : I “ Society Items. —Miss Cooley, the ' old hag on South street, waltzes around in a patent bustle in the hope of catch ing a fellow. But she can’t; not even it she lays the paint on twice ns thick as she does now.” lint Bagshot didn't stop to hear it. He flew across the square and into ttic Union office like a flash. No one was there. That able assist ant editor, warned by friends unknown, had dusted forever. Lying on the desk was a Union folded so that this notice caught Bagshot.’s eves : “ Literary Mews. —The bald-headed snipe wlio pretends to run this paper has go ire to New York. We expect to hear every moment of his sentence to Sing Sing for arson nnd highway rob bery. The citizens of Chodunk should congfutulate themselves if the colonel doel’not disgrace his village by being hung for infanticide!’’ Bagshot never intends to employ an othej; assistant editor, and journalists in search of a situation, will find it healthy to keep away from him. K Old Si and the Onsus Man. Atlanta Constitution. Old Si came in rather late yesterday, looking somewhat fatigued. After a minute he said : “ Dis am er inoughty kurus percedin desc men kerryin on round liyar wid fort|>olios.” “Do you mean the census takers ?” “ I bleeve dat ar de name dey goes •‘“What have they been doing now ?” Apl'y dey’s bin down dar in my na ba * Y’ iess stirrin up mo wrath dan al. y v’Tqiarsons inside do korpyrashun kin put down in er munth.” “'('hat is unfortunate. Have they visited you yet ?” “ Dat’s what makes me so behin time ter day. One oh dem cum down ter my I loose dis morn in an tap on degate ; I ax ; d him what’s de matter, an he say lie done cum ter take my sensus ; an In ham’t no mo’ii gyt hit out dan I sed ter jess go "way from dar, lease dar war at no bizness in dat shanty fur enny drummers from de loonytick ’sybms!” “ That did life say ?” “ j!e say dat'eT I fools' wid dc sen- Stis U done, (rwiqe. ter put de. law ter seed nit wuz all rite an’ I axed him in.” “How did you get along then ?” “We got long port}' well unteli he cum ter de column whar de chillim are sot down ; den he say ter me what am de color oh my chillun ? I say ‘ lookic heah, you jess figgor on what de law allows an don’t cum round liyar axin sultin qucschins like dat!’ He say dat lie got ter put down whether dey is black er mulatter—an den de ole harry cane broke loose!” “ How was that!” “De ole ’oman was listening, and when she hear dat, she upset de table wliar de fortpolio war lying, empted de starch bowl all obor de returns an gin ter holler, ‘HereTige!’ jess like de forty theeves done broke in de house! De sensus man lie grabbed up his dockyments an made fer de fence, and twixt holding de ole oman wid one hand an Tige wid de odder 1 got most tuckered out.” “Where did the census man go?” “ I)e last I seed ob him he was up on top obor box kyar by de Air-Line shop’ dryin out de returns ob de districk on de tin roof!” “ And how did you get the old lady quieted ?” “ She haint quiet yit. I jess had ter make my skape, too, kase she was gwine fer me fer lettin de man in, an she say dat ef de United States wants ter know de color ob her chillnn she ar bound ter write hit on de eye ob ebery muneraslmnerdey sends prowlin round her camp-ground !” And the old man got up to go to the supervisor and explain matters. An' Australia Opossum. The tree was a large one. Its bark was smooth like grass. Cutting a notch in the bark, and embracing as much of the huge trunk as possible with his arms, the black fellow mounted the height of the step, then, standing with bis toe in the notch, witli bis tomahawk he proceeded to cut another about the height of his waist, which he also as cended, keepiug his body flat on the tree. Step by step ho gradually rose looking like a fly walking up a window pane, until lie reached the first fork, nearly forty feet above the ground. A sudden twist enabled him to surmount this difficulty, after which he walked among the branches with the activity of a monkey. Selecting one with a hole in it, he dropped two or three small stones which he had carried up with him down the hollow, listening intently as they rumbled down the pipe. They all stopped at a particular place. Des- cending to the spot Stick-iu-the-mud cut into the hollow, and, inserting his hand, drew forth a largo opossum, its eyes blinking in the daylight. A few knocks against the tree deprived it of life, and throwing it down, its captor descended, grinning from ear to ettr in his appreciation of the white fellow’s compliments as to bis dexterity. Blacks $1.50 Per Annum. never move without a firestick; and soon the opossum divested of its fur, was roasting on the fire, emitting a most inviting odor under the circumstances. | It makes Stick-in-the-mud, who has only lately despatched an immense meat, hungry again ; and John has some dif ficulty in persuading him not to seize the half-masted creature and bite out a a piece. The Black fellow looks aston ished ; the prohibition is quite against the customs of his race; however, he gives in, contentiug himself by throwing the entrails on the fire for a moment, and soon to his guest’s horror, lie com menced despatching yards of the scarce ly wanned intestines, at the conclusion of which operation his face presented a sickening spectacle. The ••Roll liengol Tugger.” This is little Johnny’s composition on the above named noble animal: “Onetime there was u man which had a tagger, and the tagger it wns a sho’, nnd the man he tuk the money fur to git in. The man lie had a big paper nailed on the tugger’s den, and the pa per it. said, the paper did, 4 The Boil Ben gol Tagger, sometimes called the Mon nerk of the Jungle. Hands of! No techin’ the Taggart’ The inonerk of the junkie it was always a layin down, with its nose between its poz, nnd the folkscs which hud paid for to get in they was mad cos it wudn’t work and rore like distent thunder. But the man he said : 4 That’s ol t ite when I get the new cage done, but. this is the same cage which the offlo feller broke out of in Oregon, time licet lip them seventeen men and their families.’ Then the f'okee they wude ol stand hack and taw k on in w hispers while the tagger slept. But oue day a feller which was drunk he take to punchin the tagger with the mast head of his umbrcllcr, which stam peded the oddienco wild, and the wimniin fokes they stud into chairs and hollered like it was a mouse, but the drunk chap lie kep a "jobbiu the monuerk of the jungle crewel. Pretty soon the inon nerk it hollered offic and rigglcd, but the feller kept a pokin like a fireman to a steam engine. Bimeby the monnerk it jumped onto its bine feets and sliuk itjiulCsuitol’.itb iiliin mill mlleil mi Ll.*s up and said : 44 I bedam if I can t jest wollip the pea-green stuffin onten the gum (lasted galoot which has been a proddin this ere tagger!’ And the od dience the}' was astonished.” Putting Jolm In. Jioeton Journal of Commerce. The trial of an artist who undertakes to paint a picture “ to order” are many and vexatious. It is related of a well known portrait painter that he received an order to paint a “ family group.” The family was large and the happy head of it wanted them all included. After many consultations and weary in terviews as to sittings,’ dress, accesso ries and other details, the order was finally given and the artist breathed freer, but had he ordered the canvas before the head of the family arrived breathless at the studio, and announced that he has forgot all about John.” “ Well,” said the weary artist, “ and who is John ?” “My son John,” said the patron, “as went to the war, J want him put in the picture.” The artist proposed • that John h i sent to the studio for a sitting, to which the patron of the arts responded, “ Well, I forgot to tell you John’s dead.” Despite the gravity of the information, the painter smiled and asked the father to bring him a photograph or anything that would give him an idea of the lost son's personal appearance. “ John's” parent scratched his head and said lie would go home and consult “ Mother.” Before the artist had lighted his af ter-breakfast cigarette the next morn ing, the fond father made his appear ance accompanied by a big bundle, which being unrolled, displayed to the astonished eyes of the artist an old pair of blue trousers. “ Mother said she couldn’t find no photograph nor nothin’ of John,” said j the perplexed parent, “ but she run agin his old army pants and thought they might give you an idea, and you could put John in uniform.” “ Yes,” said a witness, “ I remember the defendant’s mother crying on the occasion referred to. She was weeping with her left eye—the only one she has —and the tears were running down her right cheek.” “ What!” exclaimed the Judge, “ how could that be?” “ May it please your honor,” said the witness, “ she was awfully crosseyed.” The latest from the logic class: Professor —“ Miss (J., give an example of a true conclusion drawn from two false premises.” Miss C.—“ Logic is an easy study ; That’s false. “I don’t like easy logic ; that’s true.” Class is dismissed. One hundred and sixteen members were added to the different churches in Gainesville, Ga., during the great i revival, a few days ago. WHOLE NO. I!>8. MAKE YOUR OWN FERTILIZERS. farm and If oust hold. I see farmers hauling out common dirt, mixed by sonic shrewd man witlru ■few dollars’ worth of land plaster, am monia, potash, bone dust and soda. Why this? Why not buy the ahovo chemicals, which, for each two thousand pounds of the common fertilizers in use, would cost by wholesale, nbout 12 to 15 dollars; hut farmers are paying from AO to 70 dollars, and often getting but little else than swamp muck or dirt. I have in my possession some half dozen or more recipes to make fertilizers for various crops, nnd the best of fertilizers may be made at a cost of 15 to 20 dol lars |ht ton. I see again men hauling out lime to put upon their stable ma nure. Why this? Lime in its crude state is not a food for crops; all the good common carbonate of lime can do, is to convert leaves, straw nnd other vegetable matter into soluble fertilizers. Put plaster on your stable manure, and that fixes the ammonia so that it does not evaporate, unless you let it remain in the rain to leach out, ns too inuny careless farmers do. Or, if you wifi throw a strong solution of common sul phate of of iron (copperas) on the ma- nure ns you throw out of your stables that will fix the ammonia, or a solution of sulphuric acid, which can be bought at a few cents to the gallon by whole sale, will tix the ammonia. All stable manure should lie thus treated and kept under a shelter to prevent the leaching out of its most valuable fertilizing chemicals, which arc ammonia, soda, (in the form of phosphate), lime, in tho form of phosphate of lime, and potash, in the same form, together with decom posed vegetable matter. Stable manure well pulverized with land plaster, or clean dirt, is one of the host fertilizers tliat we have, and suits almost all crop*. I observe ulso some farmers using their hslh*s with stable manure. Now this again is a great wuste. Ashes is potash, and potash, sets free ammonia as soon as i'. touche* it. Potash and ammonia are iwy chemical salts that cannot remain together, unless they are in form of nitrates or muriates. Ashes are in the form of carbonate of potash, unrefined, and they evaporate ammonia us soon ns the two come in contact. But if the farmer wants to improve his ashes as a fertilizer, let him add the mu riate. of soda (common salt, or waste salt), which gives two fine articles of food for most plants, which is soda and potash. The Allwise Creator put those elements intii the* forest, in the trees and vegetables, to* bo returned again, to re form vegetable materials and crops; if the farmer will ouly apply them proper erly to his laud. * There should be noth ing of a vqgotahle material or animal off the land. But to buy dirt, (with sometimes nothing) jvith a few dollars worth of ammonia, plaster, potash and soda, and a little bone dust, at a cost of GO to 70 dollars a ton, will ruin any country in the world. We must make our own fertilizers, and if we cannot do it with our stock, then let our farmers, by companies, buy the chemicals by wholesale, which as I cun show any man will cost from 15 to 20 dollars per ton, just according to the amount of the above chemicals arc put to the ton. When the farmer purchases a ton of commercial fertilizer, he gets thirty dol lars of his money in twenty bushels of common muck or soil. I have tested quite a number of fertilizers, anil I have seen the recipes of several fertilizers, and they contain from fifteen to twenty bushels of nmek or common soil, for which the farmer pays from thirty to fifty dollars. Now where is the man who can afford to pay thirty or forty dollars for soil that is no better than on his own land, or in his branch swamps?' I see the country growing poorer every year, and yet men will still pledge their crop and try ft again. They put from 1 to G dollars' worth of manure on each acre to make from 1 to 8 dollars’ worth of cotton- Where is the gain? Answer, it you can. I. J. M. fJoss, M. D., LL. D. I’. S.—Prof. I. J. M. Goss will give a free lecture at Hartwell on the nbovo to the farmers on the night of the 22d of June, at the Courthouse, commenc ing at about 8 o’clock. The report that the baby elephant was born with a valise instead of a trunk is incorrect. Every man, coming to an obscure old age, thinks he would have achieved wealtii and distinction if An Irishman says he can see no earthly reason why women should not he allowed to become medical men. It is sweet to have friends you can trust, and convenient sometimes to have friends who are not afraid to trust you. He that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he who thinks himself the wisest man is the greatest fool. Mule Puzzle.- -Draw a circle fifteen feet in diameter, place a mule in tlio centre and ‘>L. around him without getting out of the circle. Jones says : “ Give an oyster loco motion and the five senses, and he might be the rhinoceros of the sea.” He might be ; hut we hope no generous person will give him those things. Ihe price of half a dozen fried oysters as large as a rhinoceros would strike away beyond the margin of most editor’s pocket-books; and a couple of spoiled oysters of such dimensions would de populate a town.