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THE SUN. ' 1 " "3, -X 114R1WM.1., HIKI ('UI)NTTi ut. H nlni-Mlni Si'iiirmlicr N, l*S<*. AYERS & McGILL, Editors. FOR I'KESI life\T, W S HANCOCK, OF PENNSYLVANIA. POE VICK'PRESIDENT, HON. W. H. ENGLISH, OF INDIANA. PItBSIDKNTIAL KI.M TlIKt. FOR THK STATE AT LABUR: J. O. O BLACK K. E. KEN NON. . alternate: LUTHER J GLENN, A. 11.I 1 . ADAMS DISTRICT ELECTORS: First District—Samuel D. Bradwelb of Liberty. A Iteruste—Josephus Gump, ol Emanuel , Second District— Win. M. Hammond, of Thomas. Alternate—Win. Harrison, of Quitman Tnirti Distiict -Christopher C. Smith, of Telfair. Alternate—James Bishop Jr., of Dodge. Fourth District—Lavender K. Usy, of Coweta Alternate—Henry C. Came ron, of Harris Fifth District—J no I. Hall, ol Spald ing. Alternate—Daniel P, Hill of Ful ton. Sixth District—Runen B. Nisbet, of Putnam. Alternate—Fleming G. Du- Bignon, of B thlwin. Seventh District—Thos. W. Akin, of Bartow. Alternate—Peter W Alexan der, ol Cobh. Eighth District—Seaborne Keene, of Hancock. Alterna e— James K Hines, of Washington. Ninth District— Win E Simmons, of Gwinnett. Alternate -Msr on G. Boyd, of White. sta ri; iE'iforKATic tithe r. FOR GOVKRNOR : NOR WOOD or COLQUITT. FOR SECRETARY OF STATE : C BARN Err, of Baldwin. FOR COMITROLLER-HENERAL : WM, A. WRIGHT, of Richmond. FOR TREASURER : D. N. SPEER, of Troup. TOR ATTORNEY-GENERAL : CLIFFORD ANDERSON, of Bihb Humor in the Family. Good humor is rightly reckoned a most valuable aid to happy home life. An equally good and useful faculty is a sense of humor, or the capacity to have a little fun along with the humdrum cares and work of life. We all know how it brightens up things generally to have a lively, witty companion who sees the ridiculous points of things, and can turn an annoyance into an occasion of laughter. It is a great deal better to laugh over some domestic mishaps than to cry and scold over them. Many homes and lives are dull because they are allowed to become too deeply im pressed with a sense of the cares and re sponsibilities of life to recognize its bright, and especially its mirthful side. Into such a household, good hut dull, the advent of a witty, humorous friend is like sunshine on a cloudy day. While it is always oppressive to hear persons constantly striving to say witty or funny things, it is comfortable to see what a brightner a little fun is—to make an ef fort to have some at home. It is well to turn off an impertinent question some times, and to regard it from a humorous point of view instead of becoming irri tated about it. “ Wife, what is the reason lean never find a clean shirt?’ exclaimed a good hut rather impatient husband, after rumaging through all the wrong drawers. His wife looked at him steadily for a moment, half inclined to he provoked, then with a comical look, she said: “I never guess conundrums; I give it up.” Then he laughed, and they both laughed, and she went and got his shirt, and he felt ashamed of himself, and kissed her, and then she felt happy; so, what might have been an occasion for hard words and unkind feel ings, became just the contrary, all through the little vein of humor that cropped out to the surface. Bome chil dren have a peculiar faculty for giving a humorous turn to things when they are reproved. It does just as well often times to laugh things oil as to scold them off. laughter is better than tears. Let us have a little more of it at home. An Extensive Family. • The following extraordinary yet. well attested fact is copied from Brand's “History of Newcastle,” England. A weaver in Scotland had, hy one w ife, a Scotch woman, sixty-two children (twelve cases of twins), all living until thev were baptized; of whom four daughters only lived to he women, hut forty-six sons attained the man's estate. In 1630 a gentleman, of Northumberland, rode thirty mileft beyond Edinburgh to be satisfied of the truth of this account, when he found the man and woman both living, but at that time had no children abiding with them, Sir John Bowes and three other gentlemen having at different periods taken each ten, in order to bring them up. The rest had also been disposed of. Three or four of them were at that period (1630) at New castle. The Hartwell Sun. By AYERS & McGILL. VOL. V. NO. 2. THK two Mtlltfcfc. BY JULIA DORR. Wr two wilt Mauri In the shadow hem, To mf> tlit* bride as she immc* by; • Kin# soft and low. ring loud and clear, Ye chiming bplls that swing on high! Look! look! she comet) The air grows afreet With the fragrant breath of the orange blooms. And the flowers she treads beneath her feet Die In s flood of rare perfumes! She com set she comes! Thehap|y t*elh With their Joyous dam or flit the sir, While the great organ alee and swells. Soaring to trembling heights of prayer! Oh! rare are her robes of silken sheen, And the plaits that gleam on her Inmoin’t snow; But rarer the grace of her royal miert> Her hair’s fine gold* Slid her check’s young glow. Dainty itttd fair as a folded rose, r resh as a violet dewy sweet, Chaste as a Illy, she hardly knows That there are rough paths for other feel. For love hath shielded ner: honor kept Watch beside her by night and day; And evil out from her sight hath crept, Trailing with slow length far away. Now in her perfect womanhood, In all the wenlth of her matchless charms, Lovely and beautiful, pure and good, Hhe yields herself to ner lovers arms. Harkl how the jubilant voices ring! Lo! as we stand in the shadow here, While far above Us the gay bells swing, I catch the gleam of a happy tear! The pageant is over. Come with me To the other side of the town, I pray, Ere the sun goes down in the darkening sc*, And night falls around us, chill and gray. In the dim church porch an hour ago, We waited the bride’s fair face to see; Now life lias a sadder sight to show, A darker picture for you and me. No need to seek for the shadow here; There are shadows lurking everywhere; Them l streets in the brightest day are drear, Ami black as the blackness of despair. But this is the house. Take heed, my friend, The stairs are rotten, the way is dim; And up the flights, as we still amend, Creep stealthy phantoms dark and grim. Enter this chamber. Day by day, Alone in this chill and ghostly room, A child—a Woman-r- widen is it, pray?— Despairingly waits tor the hour of doom! All! as she wrings her hands so pale, No gloom of a wedding ring you see; There is nothing to tell. You know the tale— Qod help her now in her misery! I dare not judge her. I only know That love was to her a sin and a snare, While to the bride of an hour ago It brought all blessings its bunds could bear* I only know that to one it came Laden with honor, and joy, and |>eace: Its gifts to the other were woe and shame. And a burning pain that shall never tease! I only know that the soul of ono Has l>een a near! in a golden case; That of the other a pebble 1 brown Idly down iu a wayside place, Where all day long strange footsteps Iron, And the bold, bright sun drank up tin* dew! Yet both were women. O righteous God, Thou only canst judge between the two! MARIE, THE PAUPER. BT F. DUPONT. During the “ Reign of Terror* in France there were many deeds of daring performed, even by women, and many noble examples of affection exhibited. The very st reets of Paris were deluged with human blood, but near the guillo tine it ran in gushing torrents. One dark morning an unusual number of the aristocracy had been marched forth, and countless heads rolled from the block. A gaping multitude stood by, and with shouts rent the air as the aristoc racy were thus butchered. Among the assembled multitude that dreary morning, were two females. One of them was plainly clad, while a cloak was thrown around her, with which she kept her features nearly concealed. But a close observation would betray the fact that the woman had been weep ing- , Her eyes were inflamed and red, and she ga/.eu eagerly upon the platform, while a shudder passed over her frame us each shock of the glittering knife severed the head from the body of some one who had been unfortunate enough to fall under the ban of the leaders. The face of the woman was very beau tiful, and she was young- certainly not more than sixteen or eighteen years of age. The other female was quite different in character. Her face was fair, but there was a brazen expression about it. She was clad in rags, and as each head fell she would dance, and in various ways express her delight, and then ex claim: “There falls another aristocrat, who refused me charity when 1 humbly sued to him?” Each expression of the kind would create a laugh from those who heard her. But any thoughtful person must wonder how one so young could have become so depraved. The. first female watched this creature for a few moments, and then, pressing her way to her side, she laid her hand upon the shoulder of the wretch, and whispered: “ Would you like to become rich at once?” The female in rags turned about with a look of surprise, hurst into a loud laugh, and replied: “Of course I would.” “ Follow me, and you shall be.” “ Enough. load on.” * It was with considerable difficulty that the females extricated themselves from the crowd; but they did so at length, and then the first female asked of the other: “ What shall I call you?” “ (>h ! I’m called I’auiier Marie.” “ You live by begging?” “ Yes; but what's your name, and what do you want?” “ My name is Marie, the same as your own.” “ Are you an aristocrat?” “It does not matter. Jf vou know where we cat; find a room lead me to it, and you shall have gold.” The pauper led the way into a narrow and filthy street, and then down into a cellar, and into a dark and filthy room. The other female could not but feel a sickening sensation creep over her, but she recovered herself. After contem HARTWELL. CA.. SEIM., s, ussil. plating for a tinto the apartment ami what :t contained, she naked: “ Are you well known in Faria?” “ Yes. Everybody known Marie the Ii II an per. “Are yoti known to Rolmspicrret If no, I want to make a Bargain with you.” “I am. What do vott Want?” “YoU nee inv clothing in heller titan your own, and I wish to exchange with von. 1 want you to consent to remain here, and not to show yourself at all for a short time, or until I come lo vo again. Aa recompense for aiding me 1 will give you a thousand francs, and when I come back I will give you a thousand more. As security for my re turn take this ring. The lady drew a diamond ring from her linger and gave it to the pauper. Then she handed her her purse contain ing gold. The girl appeared a little puzzled, and asked: “ Well, what are you going to tin with iny dress. “ I want to pot it on atul go where I first met you.” “ Uh, I understand now. You want to see the chopping go on, and you are afraid you will be taken for an aristocrat It you wear that dress. You want to represent me.” “ Yes, I want to look as near like you as possible.” “Well, that won’t be very dillieult. Your hair and eyes, and even your mouth, is like mine. Your fare is too white, though. But you can alter that witli a little dirt.” They changed dresses, and soon the young, rich and noble Marie do Nantes was clad in the rags of Marie, the I’auper of Paris. The history of Marie dc Nantes was a sad one. Her father and two brothers had fallen victims to the remorseless fiends of tin Revolution, and a third and last brother had been seized. But (if his fate site was ignorant, although she expected that it would Ire similar to that of her other relatives. He had been torn from her side but a few hours before. After the exchange had been made the pauper looked on the stockingless and shoeless feet and ankles of the lady, and said: “That will never do. Your feet are too white and delicate. Let me arrange matters.” In a few moments Marie was prepared and in the filth and rags she emerged into the street. She now took her course hack toward the guillotine and at length reached the square where the bloody work was still going on. Gradually she forced her way through the crowd, and nearer and nearer she came to the scaffold. She even forced a laugh at several re matksshe heard around her, hut those laughs sounded strangely. She now stood within a few feet of the platform. She swept it with her eyes. Her brother was not there. The cry was now raised: “Here comes another batch.” Her heart fluttered violently, and she felt a faintness come over her as she heard the tramp of the doomed men nj>- proaehing. The crowd opened as the body of men passed. Marie gazed among them. A !nw cry escaped her. Her brother was there. But he walked proudly and fearlessly forward, and ascended the very steps which led to the block. ITn to this time the strength of poor Marie had failed her, and she was unable to put her resolve into execution. But now a sister’s love swelled up in her breast, and she recovered her strength. (She sprang forward, bursting through the line of guards and ran up the steps. Grasping her brother by the hand, she cried: “What does this mean? It is only the aristocracy that are to die.” “Away woman!” exclaimed one of the executioners. “No. Twill not away until you tell me why my brother is here, and thus Sound.” “ Your brother?” was the echo. “ Yes, this is my brother.” “ Well, who are you?” “I am Marie. Don’t you know me?” “ The Pauper?” “Ay!” “ But this is not joar brother?” “It is. Ask him—ask him'” Young Antonio de Nantes tad turned a scornful gaze upon the maiden, hut a light passed at once across his face, and he murmured: “Oh, my sister!” “Is this your brother?” asked Ro bespierre of the suppo.-ed pauper, ad vancing near her. “ It is.” “But his name isdown differently.” “ Then you are mistaken. He is my brother. Ask him.” “ l>oes Marie speak the truth?” asked Robespierre. “iShe does,” was the brother's reply. “And you are not Be Nantes?” “ I telf you I amber brother.” “ Why did you not tell us this lic forc?” “ I attempted to speak, but was si lenced.” “ But you might have declared your self.” “ You would not have believed me.” “ But your dress?” “It belongs to an aristocrat. Per haps to him for whom I was mistaken.” Bol*espierre advanced clone to young Nantes and gazed earnestly into his face. Then he aproached Marie, and Devoted to Hart County. looked steadily into her eyes for a short time. It Was a moment of trial for the poor gill. Fite trembled iu spite of Iter Hlbrts to bo calm. Him almost felt that she was lust, when the litlmaii fiend, whose word was law, turned and said: “ Release the man.” The rhaitis were Instantly removed and Antonio de Nantes walked down from the scaffold, followed hy his sister, while the shouts of those around rent thn nil, for they supposed jt was a commoner who had thus been saved. rite yuung man worked his way through the crowd as rapidly as possi ble, leading Marie. Tbov bad scarcely escaped it, beforr tin l |s>or girl, fainted, from the intensity of her feelings. The brother scarcely knew what to do but a hand was laid on his arm, and a voice said : “ Bring her to my room again. Sho will be safe there.” The brother conveyed her to the apart* moot of tin* pauper, and miked of her: “Have you seen tho female before?” “Yes, I know all alxoit it,” returned the pauper. “ Hlie borrowed my clothes to save her lover. She lias done it and I am glad.” Before the noble sister returned to consciousness, tho brother had learned ull. When she did so they both sought se cure quarters, after rewarding the I leg gar-girl as had been promised “ Do von think Robespierre was really decided?” asked Marie <ie Nantes. “ I think not,” returned the brother. “Then why he did lie order your ro lease?” “He saw your plan. He inhum'd your courage. Could a fiend have done less?” “ Perhaps this was the ease. But if so it was a deed of mercy, and the only one that man ever did.” “ You are right,.” Antonio de Nantes was not again ar rested, and lived happily with that sis ter, who had so nobly periled her own life to save, him by representing the “ l’auin rof I’aiis.” NOT OUT OF A NOVEL. A Tragfnl.v ihnn iiMMi h.r t !**( tnl Tramp -Will II ll in (>nn l.alr? |N. V. Hlnr.| A piece of paper was found in the cel lar of the tenement, N<<. .'too West 10th street, where, on Tuesday night, the dead body of Frederick A. French, tho supposed ti imp, was discovered. On the paper was written the following: The dim flickering of u midnight taper could he seen within a distant hut. Save the almost noiseless rustling of tho leaves the silence was unbroken, while a gentle breeze from the eastward drove the morbid atmosphere before it, leaving in its wake a zephyr that fanned the cheek of the weary, footsore traveler, in fusing within him new life. His eye brightens as the light dawns in view, and, quickening his pace, lie hastens toward the sign of habitation. A grizzly heard sweeps his naked breast, while the wind sports with his silvery locks as though they were hut tufts of grass, born to-day and dead tomorrow. “ ’Twas twenty years since this lo cality saw me; what was I then? <>li, God! let me riot recall those pleasant scenes of the past, lot they become con taminated with the too, too stern re ality. Ah! you once knew a home, a fireside, a family, a wife dearer than all the world,” were exelnmalions that fell from the troubling movement of his bloodless lips. “Oh, human habitation, have lat last found rest? Aye, perhaps everlasting rest! I wonder where mother and the children are. Are they living? Are they dead? What is this strange and terrible feeling coming over me? Oh, God! am I to die? Forbid, forbid! Angel of death, stay that fatal sling! How strange I feel. I see m’ wife, m’ children gathered around tho hearthstone! Ugh! ugh! I’m choking!” and with a gurgling sound lie falls upon a little mound of earth. Two days have passed. Gray streaks of dawn are coursing their way up from the horizon toward the zenith, while tho cloudlets drifting across the eastern sky are just beginning to he tinged with morning light. The door of the little hamlet in which the light so faintly flickered slowly creaked upon its rust/ hinges, and a maiden in agrestic attire steals out and through tho thicket. She does not heed the swarming vermin, tho hissing of a reptile, or the distant echo of the crackling underbrush. Upon her lily white arms hangs a lunch basket, and occasionally humming some familiar air, she makes the old wood ring with her sweet and melodious voice. (Sud denly her foot trips against some unseen object and a frown overspreads her face, followed by a peevish murmur. (She turned to see what had dared to impede her progress, when her eyes fell upon the prostrate body of the traveler. She stoops beside the corpse, hut suddenly rises, and seems to be seized with a ghastly realization. It is her father, a wanderer and an outcast, dead from ex haiislion and starvation within the veiy sounds of his children’s merry laugh. The Price of a Leg. A widow, whose husband was killed in a railroad accident, sues the company and recovers $5,000 damages. A man who lost his leg in the same accident, sues in the same court and gets $15,000. The widow waylays the judge and charges him with unjust discrimination in valuing a leg at throe times ns much as a whole man. “That is not the point, imv dear madam,” says the urbane judge. “ Even with $15,00(1 the man can not buy a leg as good as the one he lost. But a woman as young as you are, and with $5,000, can have no ditliculty in getting anew husband.” The widow retires satisfied. $1.50 Per Annum \\ 11< >1 1 1) NO. *2to. Napoleon Hie Great as a Novel Render. j Inti rn Hion vl I;-, vlntt.l W'lu n Napoli on iHT.itnr Empcior lie strove lit Vain to inal.i' the troubled ami feverish years ol Ills jxtWrf produce a literature. He liiliiS' lf way one of the most voracious readers of novel.* that ever liked. He Was always asking Tor the newest of the new, and unfortun ately even the new romance of hliCperioil were hopelessly had. Rarhicr, his librarian, bad orders to semi parcels of fresh fiction to his Majesty wherever ho might happen to be, and great loads of hovels followed Napoleon to Germany, (Spain, Italy, Russia. The conqueror was very hard to please, lie read in bis traveling carriage, and after skimming a few pages would throw a volume that bored him out of the window into tin 1 highway. He might have been tracked bv bis trail of romances, as was I lop o'- My-Thumb, in the fairy tale, hy tho white stones he dropped U'lii.'id him. Poor Barbier, who ministered to a pas sion for novels that demanded twiuly volumes a day, was at his wits’ end. 110 tried to foist on the Emperor the romances of the year before last; but these Napoleon bad generally read and he refused, with imperial scorn, to hoik at them again. He ordered a traveling library of 3,000 volumes to he made for him, but it was proved that the task could not Ik* accomplished in less than six years. The expense, if only ‘illy copies of each example had been printed, would 1 have amounted to more than six million francs. A Roman Emperor would not have allowed these considera tions to stand in his way; hut Napoleon, after all, was a modern. He contented himself with a selection of books con veniently small in shape, and packed ill sumptuous eases. The classical writers of France could never content Napoleon, and even from Moscow, in LSI”, he wrote to Barbier clamorous for new books and good ones. Long before they could have readied Moscow, Napoleon was (lying homeward before Koutousoli' and Iten uingsen. (danders. Most diseases are not common tii men and brutes, ami those which are do not pass from one species to the other as readily as they extend within the limits of either. There are some which origi nate in the lower animals, and are coin niunicated to men by contagion. 'I lie worst of these are hydrophobia and glanders. The latter is a very infectious disease, and yet it is only a few years since this fact has been universally recognized. The failure to recognize it has lost tho lives of millions of horses. It is gener ally incurable. The disease may he taken by inhaling floating particles of infected matter; also by contact with the contents of the ulcers, or with the blood, tears, saliva, sweat, milk, and the secretions and ex cretions generally. Tho poison readily passes into the blood through the mucous membrane of tin* nose, mouth and eyes, or through the chafed skin of the surface. The infected animal has ulcers in the inis', larynx, bronchial tubes, lungs, skin, the tissues beneath the skin, and sometimes in the liver, spleen and kid neys. The disease in man comes only from the horse, and is seldom communicated I loin man to mail. The persons affected are mainly those who have the handling of horses, though the snorting of a diseased horse as he is driven along tho road may give it to a person, by throw ing purtieles of diseased matter into his eyes, nose or mouth. Still, man’s sus ceptibility to tho poison is slight. The acute form ends fatally; about one- halfrif the subacute and chronic cases terminate in recovery after months of suffering. All affected animals should be at once destroyed. All who handle horses should understand the contagion: m :■ of the disease. Horrors of Silver Speculation. | Virginia ( N-r.) KiiicrprU*. Mr. Irhabod resides in the wild suburbs of a pai l of the city where don keys occasionally “ roam and howl.” Mr. lehabod is quite a joker in his way. He has living with him a niece, lately arrived from a part of the Atlantic States where sueh-an animal as a jackass is hardly aecn twice in a lifetime. A night or two since this young Indy had retired to her sleeping apartment, after having duly and dutifully kissed her relative good night, but had hardly been absent three minutes before she rushed hack into the parlor with ashen cheeks and widely-dis tended eyes. “() uncle!” she cried, “ did you hear him? Home one out in the street utter ing such fearful erics! He must lx- in horrible agony. There lie goes again! Why, uncle, someone is certainly being murdered!” Uncle lehabod now heard the long drawn wheezy bray of an old asthmatic jackass, and smiling reassuringly upon the startled and excited girl, soothingly said, “Calm yourself, my dear, it is not so had as you think. He will wkiii get over it.” “ Why, uncle, who is it, ami what is the matter witli him?” “ Why, my dear child, how excited vou are. It is nothing—nothing! It is only poor neighbor Jones across the way, He’ll soon calm down.” “Calm down! But, uncle, why docs ho take on so?” “ Well, he is of a sensitive, nervous constitution, and he has probably just beard of the assessment ou the fcficrra Nevada.” A newly married lady was telling another bow nicely her husband could write. “Oh, you should just see some of his love-letters!” “Yes, I know,” was the freezing reply; “I’ve got a bushel of ’em in my trunk.” Till: DirUHTIR'I MISML “ 1 hav* liexight your Sinner, father," The hlnekimllh’* daughter utd. As she l>k (non her sons * ketlia A let lifted Its shlnliiK lid. <* There's not my pie or podding, tin I will Kira yon tlila," And llgon nta Iml-Worn forehead Hlie fell a chtidwi kl. Thn hln< ksmflh tore off hi* apron And dined In happy mood. Wondering mnrh at the aavur llld m Iws Imuihl* loud. While all a hoot him were vision* Full ol prophatle htlsa; • Hot he never thooKht of the mafic in hislilll* daughter's kiss WAIFS AMI WIIIMS. Dm s not como it Miss -a baby hoy. SaHiiv lmr lot who loves two swell. Important suit first jacket and Wowsers. It HI.I IE the flea, when ydu jwif yotif finger on a hornet, lie is there. • ' Misf its, as a class, must Imre very poor memories. They are for-getting. Scon,and must be it windy place. They have Gaels there nil the time. SnMIC of our sultseriliers are trying to kill ilk with kindness- unremitting kind ness. SOMEBODY says that the flower of tho family should lie well bred and havo very little crust nlxmt her. In rounding his |x*riods we are (mined to notice that the tly gives no heed to Wilson’s rules of punctuation. Edi hon says tho newspapers make light of his latest invention more suc eessfully than he can do it himself. AVhy is an empty fish net like an English title of nobility? Because it la u barren net. See? ’Tib passing strange tlmtsmid all the mistakes of the world, nobody ewer passed a quarter for a twenty-cent piece. A Pitii.ADKM'HIA barber refused to color Boh liigcrsoll’s mustache, on the plea that it never should l*e said of him “ that be dyeil an infidel.” When his wife nskH him for a dollar or two for current demands, be smile* sweetly and says, “True love, darling, seeks no change.” Wic lx liove that if an angel should rail into the sanctum of tho average scissors fiend, that lie would clip its wings and pass them oas his own. Voir might ns well bark a mule up against a beehive and tell him not to kick, as to tell a woman alxiut a wedding and not set her under jaw in motion. A man who had a pig to sell led it into market, “Because, he said, “a lead pig was heavier than the flesh and blood k iiul.” Just as soon as ladies’ belts are made to look like surcingles horses will de mand a change of fashion for them selves. Don’t judge a man by his clothes. Can you tell what the cirrus is going to he like by looking at the Italian sunset pictures on the fence?” Jon has been marked down in history ns the patient man. The fact is that at one time he was just boiling over with impatience to die. If the surrounding circumstances are congenial, it is fair to couelltde that the position preferred by lovers is juxtaposi tion which suits them. A niOJEOTILF. weighing 1,700 jMiunds, shot from a cannon charged with 42fi pounds of powder, is the latest. Why not use the earth fora cannon hall? An Irishman should patronize the pavement, because every time they look upon it they will see their country's cmidem —sham-rock. Kansas school-teacher: “Where does our grain goto?’ “Into the hopper.” “What hopper?’ “Grasshopper, tri umphantly snouted a scholar. ’ Full tunny a flower wna lw>rn To Munli iiiiawii, Aid many a man take* tiix corn M*l iml t he screen. “I AM glad that painted lx*lts are in style,” said a frisky fellow, as he artis tically decorated the one he received over the eye the previous day. A it ati iti.K generally dyes by over work. Mary had a little lamb. It win roasted and she wanted more. EVEN criminals like paragiaphs thill is to say, they prefer aslmrt sentence. HrKNK, a horse ear. Enter an clalwir nlcly dressed Indy, diamond solitaires, eight button kids, etc. Car crowded. At first no one moves. Boon a gentle man offers his seat. “Thank you; you Hie the only gentleman here. The rest is lings.” Fact. — \Kx. ‘ 1 won't at all expect company to day,” said a lady to her visitors, with a not very pleasant look, “ hut I hojie you will make yourself at home.” “ Yeic indeed.” replied one of them starting off. “ I will make myself at home as quick as possible.” Huhhano—“ Maria, my dear, you seem to he very lonesome in my com pany. Do you not love me now as you did before our marriage?” Wife—“ Why, of course, Gerald, but you know since our marriage we have become one, and I feel lonesome without a second party.” “My dear,” said a smiling spouse tc her other half, a morning or two since, “1 am going a-shopping; I wants little change.” “l’oohl” responded the un gallant man, “that would la: no change at all; you go shopping every day.” Thf, Detroit Fret Prett says; “Keep a young man in chase of a girl and ho will let whiskey alone.” Now, girls, the good work lies in your hands. Get as many fellows on the chase as you L'UU. Neatness of attire should commence in the schoolroom. A young lady should dress just as carefully for sch(x>l as for church or society; school is society, ami to appear at school in a partial toilette is a mistake so serious as not only to war rant, but to call for corrective criticism. A Bai.TIMORE inventor has a patent for a suit of flying clothes. By working the arms the man in the clothes mount# lev von ward. Waterproof pantaloons nft jackets are in one piece. To this is asleiii and a reservoir of oiled silk, and stretching from shoulders to waist. To vaC'tann is attached a wing made of silk, wish steel ribs. After the mortal has essayed the flight of a bird, and is high n air, he hoists a sail. A mast four ♦et 'ong is joined to his back, and a triangular sail is set so as to be worked by the feet.