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THE SUN. IMRrWKLI., HART CUV NTT, UA, AYEBS & McQILL, Editor. FOR PKENU>%M', GEK. SHANCOCK, r OH PENNSYLVANIA. FOR VICIM’KKSIDtt.Yr, HON. W. H. ENGLISH, (IF INDIANA, PKKNIWKNTIAI. KLMTItRS. FOll THE STATE A C I.ARUK : J. C. C. BLACK, B. E. KEN NON. ALTERNATE: LUIHF’ct J. GLENN, A TY'ADAM.s WHTKICT ICrKCfORH; First District—Samuel ]>. Rtadwell. of Liberty. A Iterimte—Jiwuphiis Camp, of Emanuel Second District—Writ. M. Hammond, of Thomas. Alternate— Wm. Harri-ou’ of Quitman 'I lord D’strict—Ohiistopher C. Smith, of Tel‘air. Alternate-James Bishop! Jr.. of Dodire. Fourth District—Lavender R. Ray, of Coweta Alternate— Henry C. Came ron. of Harris Fifth District—Jno I. Hall, of Braid ing- Alternate—Daniel 1\ Hill of FuL ton Sixth District— Reuben B. Nisbet, oi Putnam. Alternate—Fleming G. Du Bignon, of B ildwin. Seventh District—'Thos. W. Akin, of Bartow Alternate—Peter W. Alexan der, of Cobb, Eighth Drlriet— Sesliorre Reese, of Hancock, Alterna e— James K. Hines, of Washington. Ninth District—Wm E. Simmons, of Gwinnett. Alternate—Marlon G. Boyd, of Whitt'. STATE l>K TMM'KXTM’ TIl'HF.r, FOR GOVERNOR: NORWOOD or COLQUITT. FOR BICRKTARY OF STATE : C RARNErr, of Baldwin. FOR CO*i I‘IROi.LGR-uWNKRAI.: WM. A. WRIGHT, of Richmond, FOR TREASURER; I>. N. SPEER, of Troup- FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL : CLIFFORD ANDERSON, of Bibb. Spanish Living and Dying. |Castilian Days.] The Spanish father is absolute king and lord l>y his own hearthstone, but liis sway is so mild that it is hardly felt. A light word between husband and wife sometimes goes unexplained, and the rift between them widens through life. They cannot be divorced—they will not incur the scandal of a public separation —and, as they pass lives of lonely isola tion in adjoining apartments, both think rather better of each other and of them selves for this devilish persistence. If men are never henpecked except by learned wives, Spain Would be the place of all others for timid men to marry in. The girls arc bright and vivacious, but they navo never crossed, even in school day excursion, the border lines of the ologies. They have an old proverb which Coarsely conveys this inea—that “A Christian woman in good society ought not to know anything beyond her cookery book and her missal.” An ordinary Spaniard is sick but once in bis life, and the old traditions which represent the doctor ami death as always hunting in couples still survive in Spain. In all well-to-uo families the house of death is always deserted immediately after the funeral and the stricken cams retire and pass eight days in inviolable seclusion. Children arc buried in coffins of a gray color, pink or blue, and carried open to the grave. A luxury of grief consists in shutting up the house where a death has taken place and never suffering it to he opened again. 1 once saw a beautiful house and wide garden thus abandoned in one of the most fashionable streets of Madrid. The wife of a certain Duke had died there many years before. 'The Duke lived in Paris, leading a rattling life, butlie would never sell or “.let” that Madrid home. Perhaps in his heart, that battered thoroughfare, there was a silent spot where, through the gloom of dead days, he could catch a glimpse of a white hand, the rustle of a trailing robe, and feel sweeping over him the magic of loves dream, softening his fancy to tender regret . - Nevada Justice. [Western £xchatigc?.] A man was brought up before Justice Moses to-day charged with an assault. When asked where he worked lie said he was a miner in the North Bonanza. Here the court, according to the officers, leaned over his desk and called the defendant up to whisper in his ear. “How wide is the ledge they struck last week?” “Thirtv-six feet, your Honor, and as says S7O, was the whispered reply. “I think the evidence is sufficient to warrant a conviction,” continued the court aloud and straightening up. “The case is dismissed, and the costs taxed to the complaining witness.” Justice Moses was seen down town a few minutes later giving an order for 200 •hares of North Bonanza without limit. The Hartwell Sun. By AYERS & McGILL. YOJ..IY. N(r), 3. . HUM MR RUITrtKR OH HO. hr AUCK CART. No# tell hie all thy hits, .lehny— Why fiiS-d I plainer *|>-Hk? FW - y<*ii see my fonliali hesrt lisa Wed It’swrrrt in my cheek! You must not lesro me thus, Jenny— You will not when yon know It is my life you’re trending on At every siep you go. Ah, should yon Bn!l<\*t now, .teniiy k tVlieu U’ wintry Went Her Mow# The daisy, Waking out of sleep, Would cottto up through Uie Shall out hoilSi la- <>■ the hill, Jenny, W iierv the all mar he.ti;M crow ? * You must kiss me, darling, if it’s yes, And kiss me if it’s no I It shall be very fine -the (loot With liosn-vitu#oVcH-ilh, Apd th’ win'driw toward the harvest field Where first our lore begun. What mnrvel that I could not mow When you came to rake the hay, For J cannot s|M>ak your name, Jenny, U I’ve nothing else to say. Nor Is It strange that when I sa# V our sweet face In a frown, I hung my. seyilit)in the apple-tree, Ami thought the sun was down. For when you sung the I uno that end* With such a golden ring. The lark was made Ashamed, and sat With heT hefid beneath her wing. You need not try to speak, Jenny, You blush and teemlde so, But kiss me, darling, if it’s yes, Aud kiss me If it’s no I A STRANGE STORY. f-fij . jj f Extract from AnMTncKini>oCa' t k*ngi!it Did I tel! them of queer people and strange experiences? Yes, indeed, did I. Can I recall them now? No—yes. One I temendier, because it was tne Inost inexplicable affair that ever befell me —no, aid not befall—but that has ever come tome “second-hand, almost as good as new.” 1 found myself one day at a certain town with no “connection” till six o’clock iti the afternoon- train that might make sixteen miles aif'tfour, with ninety-xtrvmiles to get over. Due on the platform at 7: 3fit o’clock. That wouldn’t do. rSo, of course, 1 bad to have a “siiecial,” Place and time—Central lowa, some time ago. Country just a fla t plant, not the rolling prairie lalid lying further west; no towns, few villages, fenceless, treeless; a speck of anything easily seen afar had any speck existed. Even the ties were withotit incident. One after another, one after another, all •alike*-same Hriirthfst, family re semblance, lying on the even ground without so much as a ditch at the side to break the monotony. Nothing of interest without, so I turned my eyes to inspect what might be found within. They are generally wide open when they are to look at ma chines or machinists. I have traveled behind engines and on them by hundreds, and have walked about and questioned and gazed and ex amined them thoroughly, but always with fresh wonder and admiration. Strong as Titans; simple, complicated; helpful, merciless; beautiful yet terri ble. And I never look at them without wondering what manner of world this will be when someone learns how to utilize, not one hundred, or fifty, hut even fifteen ;>or cent, of steam. As to their manipulators, fools do not abound among them. A man needs brains and logic to be a good machinist. I like to watch a first-class one listen to an argument on a subject with which he may he ever so unfamiliar. He sees Haws, and show's where the screw's are loose, and the sequence is broken, and the point overlooked or bungiingly made better, half the time, than the combat ants, though they be no mean ones. If a man knows a machine, he knows how to argue from cause to effect, step by step of the way, and isn’t easily “bamboozled, ’ and there’s precious lit tle “nonsense” about him. My engineer was one of the right sort. A clear-eyed, intelligent, wide-awake young fellow from New England—the last man in the world you would suspect of drink or either superstitious lliin flains. He was explaining to me some of the mechanism, when, with his right hand on the lever, he suddenly paused, threw himself half out of the tittle window, gazed a moment up the track, then, turning his head, with his left hand thrust up before it as though shutting out some awful vision, drove on. There was no mistaking the altitude and its meaning. “You have run over someone here, said I. Yes—no—l don’t know,” he an swered. His firemen seemed to notice neither action nor answer. I gazed at Isith with amazement akin to horror. “Am I rush ing through space forty miles an hour in the keeping of madmen?” thought I. “l et us see.” “You don’t know?” “I don’t wonder you look,” said he, “and ask, too. Will yon kindly oblige me by telling me if you saw anything off to the right?” “Nothimr,” said I, “but open plain.” “Nor ahead of us?” “Nothing but level track.” “Nor behind us? Did you look? “Yes, i looked back. There was noth ing hut track and plain.” “I knew it,” said he; “knew it just as well before I asked as afterwards, hut couldn’t help asking. Don’t you think that’s queer?” “/ think you are troubled. That is more to the purpose. Do you,mind my asking what nas troubled you?” “Do I mind? Didn’t I want to tell HARTWELL, CM., WIT, lf>. ISNtI. you, and see what, yoy cart make but of |t?”, ahd. Ho dretk (ils hand Hvet Mu totc- Htati ailtl across bis clear eyes an though it were a nightmare that threatened to unmake him. “It beats me.” ■ “I wouldn’t let it,” smilingly, to cheer his distreaaed face. “You are too broad shouldered to stand that sort of treat ment frbttl ftttytltltlg, At Which he laughed A little ancL tin; lire mi a je- Ittarked Ptfedumirlngly “ YoiCjuit mt< h lb, Ned Fail iT.dl ~TtciVo.i it! "A b for the story—it isn't much of a story,, you’ll any wl'tit—YeffT! You Fee L waa coming down the Bead the-otherrlay —a good two weeks Ago—a road, Ive been ovpr hundreds 01 times, and knew every foot of it. 1 saw off there, at the ight, instead of that pancake region, r egular hill country, wild and green looking, plenty of trees, and among them, on top of a sort of ridge, there was a shambling tavern painted red. “It Wits growing ditsky, and I could see lights in the tavern, and hear loud voices laughing and rowing. Directly a. fellow came piling!ilg dill 111 tiff’ (loot with his nfit Hfl, a thihnri Mirth unhilt toned at the throat, and one sleeve loose and hanging, holdings whisky Little. He reeled down the hill, stumbled and stumbled, struck bis foot against a log near the Isiltnm, and pitched forward into the ditch half way across the track. “I saW what Was coming atid had whistled down brakes and rOv< rsed the engine. The malt could baVe gnt on his feet easV enough if it hadn’t been for his A'lirsetTwhiaky hotiC; hut /e grablied it aim held it lip so as to save it, and couldn’t get his balance) of course) with out both liartds, iiitd so pitched forward again, and this time flat across the rails, ami we went over him. “It was all done in a minute, you see, and the train stopped, and 1 starting at Jim here, and he at me.” “What did you do that for?” said .Tim, ; “jerking her up like ibnt for nothing.” “My God! tnqfl. Wilt oVer a human creatnh 1 . and mash the breath out <>f him, ahd ask what I stopped the train for?” “Run over a man!” cried Jim. “ Are you crazy or drunk?” Rut I didn’t wait to answer. I streaked Up the track to where the conductor Was out, and the brakemcn and passengers all had their heads out of the windows, and everybody wanted to know what was the matter, and there—woll! you know just as well as I, there was the ojteh country and the track as flat as my hand, and nothing else near or far to he seen. “Drunk! No, 1 wasn’t drunk. I ’don’t drink—EvefT Andit 1 happened just so?” turning to Jim. “Just exactly so,” answered the sooty fireman. “Yes, just exactly so.” echoed the en gineer, “and just exactly so I’ve seen it every day—and done it regularly since then. And I can’t stand it much longer. I’ve got to quit. Look at that!” holding up his strong hand that was shaking in a way that didn’t belong to its muscle, nor to the clear blue eyes that had no drink nor craze in them. “Maybe I can make a change with a friend of mine who wants to come West. Anyway, I’m going to get out of here, lively.” I Rat and pondered. “Do you believe me?” said he. “Relieve you? Of course I do. I’m not a fool. I know when a man lias truth in liis face, and you’ve got truth in your voice, too. for that matter. ’ He smiled, and thrust out his grimy fist. “I’d like to shake hands with you for that—if you don’t care.” “Rut I do care,” said I, smiling in turn. So we shook hands. “Can’t you explain it?” “No—no more than I can tell you how a flower grows.” We reached our destination and each went his or her way, and so far as I knew there was an end of mystery and explanation. Five years afterward I was at New Brunswick, aiming for the ten o’clock train to Philadelphia. “Drawing-room car,” called I, as 1 ran down the long, dark platform. “Drawing-room car this way!” was shouted from the rear blackness. “Ah, is it you, Miss Dickinson? Plenty of room to-night,” and L scram bled in. About every official and employe on the road knows me. So I turned to see with which conductor I was going, but did not recognize him. “You don't know me?” “No,” said I, yet I found something familiar in face or voice. “You are a new man.” “Yes,” he answered. “Let me seel let me seel” thought Ts 1 don’t like to be thwarted. 1 alway. remember people’s faces, and always for. get their names. I could forget my own “Who is he? When—where did lever travel with him?” “You were not a conductor when I saw you before. I am sure of that, ’ I ventu red. He laughed at my puzzled face and answered, “You’re right there.” All at once 1 placed him. “Ah!” cried t, “ how’s the ghost?” The man had a fine ruddy color, hut he turned pale at that—pale as this pa rC“ Whv, you don’t mean that anything did really ever come of it?” “Yes, hut I do.” “What?” “Well, I’ll tell you all in a breath— that’s the best way, and 1 don’t like talking about it. You know I wanted to get'away? Yes. Well, I got my transfer, came to the Philidelpliia and Erie road, and my friend went West. “Maybe I didn’t draw a long breath as I got under way that first day, and thought I’d left my bugaboo so far be- Devoted to Hart County. hind tib. Everything alsmt me was so aiffe > *(jHt trotn what I had quitted, it made.me feel like a now inaff. You know the country the Philadelphia and Erie runs through?” “Dm <<w it. Beautiful, fresh ami hilly, and ftill of streams, with a rough look ing pad and curving track.” ‘ *N*t sdj he asselitcd, “atid ! went along It cheerful as A ({ticket, looking at hvi vhingami full of interest hhtil tit. ward-Higlitfall -and then -well! I shut fny arid drove ahead. What else cotMl do? But mjf ftrcinatt was drag ging'lt the rO|>e like mad and rousing Inc, i.nd tjie engine Was jarring and jbltify, ;lHd presently Stopped. “ ‘what did you do that fbtf wild I. “ ‘My God, man,’ cried he,‘run over a human creature and mash the breath out w- him, aud thou ask wtiat I stopped the Haiti for—are you drunk or crazy?* and he plunged off and I after him. “Iflldti’t expect to see anything, lv.it at th right, you see, as the train rail— theiv Was a bit of it hill, ahd a slnini blirtjf old red tdvfcrfi, with sortie light* -diwihgoh top of it, and it lot of people with tiic conductor and passengers gath ered al>out something on the road, and as 1 4'me up— there was a man with his hat 11, and open shirt, and the whisky hotUi in his baud, across the track— The Art of DejlurLire, 'iecre are unhappy mortals who ate art utteJy ignorant of the art of departure that more or less decisive measures have to bi taken to induce them to leave at all. It Is a distressing episode wheh a visitor has to l>o assisted in making up his mind to go away, in much the same manner as a lame dog is said to In- helped ovei a stile. It is hard to say which ap pea r the greater fool under such cir cuit 'dances—the guest or his host. A mai is in a decidedly false position when, Jihv ng enticed another Into hi* house, he it'll mil >le'to Coax him to go tint of it aga U. If the art of departure is diffi cult, that nf ejection is harder to learn. Tin reversal of the ettginesof hospitality is a,very undignified pro< dittg. There are people who are quite callous to all hints that they have stayed long enough. The deterioration of the cham pagne, the increasing lightness of the claret, the disappearance of the satin damask furniture under loose covers, and even the feigned indisposition of the hoi, have tio oiled it poll such gentle men. When wearily silting up with our-guests in the smoking room to al>- nonnal hours, how anxiously we watch fJnsr -vignrs Wcotiling shorter and shorter! and how mortifying it is, when we think the happy moment has at last arrived, and that W 8 are to Ire allowed to retire to rest, to see them calmly light fresh cigars before throwing away the ends of the old ones! But some times non-smokers arc little better be haved. Rejieated hints that it is getting late seem merely to have the effect of making our visitors congregate more firmly, and, just as we are Imping for a real move, n wretch firmly fixes his hack against the mantelpiece, and delib erately proceeds to open some political question. Are Eggs Meat] Vegetarians will rejoice at a decision lately given at Leeds, England, by the stipendiary magistrate. The question arose upon the seizure of a number of eggs stated to bo unsound. The solicitor for the defense objected to a decision against his clients on the plea that eggs were not “meat.” According to the stat ute, it a p pears that the articles subject to examination and condemnation are set down as any “animal, carcase, poultry, game, flesh, fish, fruit, vegetables, corn,” and so forth. After a lengthened argu ment on both sides, the magistrate felt conqielled to dismiss the summons, al though he expressed an opinion that it was most desirable that the sale of un sound eggs should be stopped. The de cision, as we have said, will be satisfac tory to at least one section of the com munity. It has been the custom for vegetarians to to place eggs in the same category as milk, and both these articles are freely partaken of by those who pin their faith to a purely vegetable diet. To the rest of the public the result of the inquiry will not be so satisfactory. Al though, as the defendants solicitor states, “a bad egg carried its own con demnation,” it must be recollected that there are various degrees of badness, and that many a doubtful egg may lie mixed up in puddings and other forms of rookery with, at least, the prospect of injury to delicate digestions. Changcd in Death. (Haltirnnre Am*n* an.J A queer transaction was witnessed in a cemetery at Milwaukee a few days since ly two gentleman who bad attended the funeral of a child of a friend, and re mained walking about the grounds after the cortege haa departed. The sextons bad not tilled up the grave when a second funeral arrived. It was also that of a child, but the grave prepared for it was too short. The men, therefore, deposited the second child in the first grave, and when its friends were gone actually transposed the coffins to suit the size of the excavations. But for the exposure made by the witnesses the marble iamb that was to be placed ujsin the grave of little Mary would have rested upon the sod that covered over little Jimmy, and the flowers that were to deck his grave would have wasted their sweetness u|x>n the hillock of the little girl that hap pened to lie buried the same day. The sextons who had “mixed those babies” uf> soon found they had raised a hornet’s nest about their cars by this strange transaction, and the cotlins were again taken up and transferred to their pioper positions in a hui ry. $1.50 Per Annum WHOLE NO. *2ll. Type <rf f haniidf'?' Railroad Trains. 'ihero are certain geitrfal types of fchafaCter wliiylt a re observable oh almost evei'y fdllroad train, and with which wii art 1 so familiar tiifii pay them little attention. There is the lilittt id many bundles —a family man of course—wlio liears in his countenance the painful consciousness of having lost something or forgotten soiwething, and who, in a desperate ClldeaVnr to recover a parcel Wlili h has slipped down from one arm, Scatters upon the Cat floor nil assortment of ntreel* which vwarte frotn (In l other, Brio ate promptly trodden ilpotl by some hasty Wretch behind him. There is the hi an win. is always late, rtrtd who, drop j'iitg breathlessly into a seal after a brief fa do with flic retreating train, wipes !>is perspiring nrOtf, ahd recites to his nejgiilnir the circumstances of his deten tion and hurry. There is the ficrtoiw woman, who, after having studied all the time tables, scrutinized the placards on the ears, and harassed the lickct figelll to lilt l Verge of insanity, allliets her fellow pa ■* tigers with shrill and irrtttiiltnis lm|uiries as to whether the train funs through to Albany, and whether the ear she Is inis the right one. Hapless and eareworrt individual! Small good does the journey do hot, for the train has hardly started L’fore she discovers that she inis lost her ticket; Mini it is not until she is well along to ward her destination, and has goaded the eotulio tor into a frenzy and herself into tears, that she finds the hit of pnsto- Itoanl in some unexplored recess of her travel iug-hag, where she had placed it for sale keeping. Tlu>r is the woman Who will have the window open, and tlio irascible old gentleman immediately be hind her who w ill have it shut. Tlicro is the market-woman with gigantic baskets odorous of herring and onions, and other delicacies. There is the man who sleeps the sleep of intoxication, and who, yielding only an inarticulate re sponse to the protests of the conductor, gild disclosing about his person no trneo of a ticket, is presently Intmllml off by the brakcumn. And there is the multi tudinous infant—weary, wide awake, and vociferous—ail object of loathing and detestatiuu to every bachelor in the ear. The Groceries We liny. Very few groceries are wholly pure. The Grocer t Manual publishes some of the adulterations. The cream of tartrtr found mi sale, it says, is seldom more than thirty |>er Cent, pure, the remainder being t-rm alba, or white earth, and other adulterants. Cayenne pepper is debased with rod ocher, cinna bar. vermilion and sulphurctof mercury, ana the color preserved by red lead ami Venetian red. Cpfieoisadulteratcd with pea flour colored with Venetian red. Liquors and wines are generally made from cheap rums and whiskies. Milk is adulterated with water, (lour, starch, gum, turmeric, chalk, sugar, carbonate of soda, and cerebral matter; and cream is made bv the use of gum. Mustard is seldom sold pure. Preserved moats are colored with ocher and red lead. Bottles labeled Worcestershire sauce, etc., arc often filled with stuff flavored with dangerous chemicals. Soaps contain |Miisonous coloring matter that produces skin diseases. Teas are colored and doctored, largely in New York and Philadelphia, with arseniate of copper, verdigris, mineral green, Prussian blue, talc, clay, soapstone, and nurnerousother articles. Much of the tobacco which men roll like a sweet morsel under their tongues is made out of the leaves of other plants, to which arcadded chromate of lead, oxide of lead, etc. Half the vinegar sold in the large cities, it is asserted, is rank poison, made from prep arations of lead, copper and oil of vit rol These statements were made in the Manual in the interest of grocers. A Woman Who Buried Seven Husbands. An excellent old gentleman named Benjamin Abbott died in Hnyrna, Dela ware, the other day, aged eighty-two. He was a good man, but, the only nota ble featuri of bis placid existence ap pears to ne the fact that he was the sev enth husband of bis wife who survives him. This repeated and life long, or as we may 1 letter say, intermil ted has I successively Mrs. Trattx, Mrs. Riggs, Mrs. Farrow, Mrs. Wallace, Mrs. Berry, Mrs. Pratt and Mrs. Abbott. In every instance save the first, she has married widowers, some of them with a good many children, but slic never had any children of her own. All her life has been spent in Smyrna, and ‘ all her husbands,” says the local paper, “were buried by the same undertaker. We also learn from this paper, the Smyrna Tima, that some years ago Mrs. Abbott, etc, etc, had a vision in which eight men stood before her in a peculiarly impres sive manner, which she has ever regarded as prophetic of the number of conquests she was to make. Number seven having been safely laid away, one can imagine the trepidation that exists among avail able bachelors, especially widowers, in Smyrna, pending the choice of number 'sght. A Petroleum Kiver in Texas. A writer in the (ialveston Newt cx f>reH*eH the opinion that a river of petro euin is flowing through the subterranean cavities of Texas. It takes its rise in the carboniferous strata North of the Colorado River, and may be traced at various points on its course to the Gulf of Mexico, by oil apjiearing on the sur face of springs, streams and lakes, while at what is known as ()il Bay, on the gulf, the water is so covered with oil that the waves have no effect. Why wouldn t Oleomargarine do for a girl’s name? —Cincinnati Enquirer. If we had a little girl, and hadn’t any but her, we would call her that. WAIFS AND WHIMS. It is a rule of the penitentiary to cut the locks off before turning the locka on a prisoner. The boy who is well-spanked fully realizes the deep meaning of stern* juiticc. “ Bf. careful how you punctuate the •tore/* is the latest. It means not to put too much colon. It's not only hard work to pop the question, but it is equally hard to ques tion the fiop alamt it afterwards. A lame farmer was asked if he had a corn on bis toe. “No,” he said, “but I've got lota on the ear." Cervantes has aaid, “ Every one 1* son of his owu works." This makes tha great Krupp a son of u gun. A man may have a Boston look in his eye simply by letting his imagination dwell on tho things tliat have bean. A cokrksi’oni'ENT wants to know what is an affinity. An affinity, mjr dear sir, is something Unit exists be tween a small boy aud his neighbor’! grape vine. A man’s clothes arc not always indi cative of his character; for a fellow may wear tho loudest kind of garments and yet boas mild and quiet as au autumn sunset. Fashion understands that a Indy is in a full dress when tho trail of her garments cover her form, tho spittoon §nd three squares of Brussels carpet at the same time. A rather gaily dressed young lady Asked her Sunday-school class what waa “meant by the [simp and vanity of the world.” The answer was honest but rather unexpected: "Them flowers on your hat.” IIH itule .Inn* thn edgn of l.|p natch, Till :m otduct hl kwn cjrca toll on; lie Htuilclictl ll tip and wall/.cd twajr— ’Thus n |(ia.h Ina U-ad of a melon. —Joaquin Miller. ► “ How cainc you to be lost?” asked a Sympathetic gentleman of a little boy he found crying in the street for his mother. “I uint lost,” indignantly exclaimed the little thrcc-ycar-old; “but m m-m-y mother is, and I ca-ca can’t find her.” Man wants but little here below, but it is the opinion of the Canisteo Timm that he should alway make his want* known through the columns of a news a per. The heavy heart schooled lo disap pointments, may at last Is-como so weary and saddened that no sudden and new disappointment can cause it more than a passing pang. “Ail, Louise, mv heart is very des pondent. Ever since I have gazed into the depths of those lovely eyes, I— “ I lush, John! put an air-brake on that train of thought, l’a has introduced mn to liis new partner, and 1 ain his for $2,000,000. That settles it." IN these words a correspondent lately introduced a piece of poetry to the notice of the editor of a newspaper: The fol lowing lines were written fifty years ago by one who has for many years slept in bisgrave merely for his own amusement.” A BALD-HEADED professor, reproving a youth for the exercise of iiis fists, said, “Wo fight with our heads at this col lege.” The young iiuin reflected a mo ment ami then replied: “Ah, 1 see; and you butted all your hair off.” No mother wearing banged hair should preserve her photographs. Twenty years from now if her son should get hold of ono ho would exclaim: “Onl why did they put my mother in the House of Correction I” — Detroit Free PrtM. "Don't you love her still?” asked the judge of a man who wanted a divorce. “Certainly, I do,” ho said. “I lovo her better still than any other way; but the trouble is she will never be still.” The judge, who is a married man himself, took the case under advisement. He Would Meddle. The following, if not, true, is good enough to be: I’rinee I’eter, of Olden burg, is at the bead of the Imperial Rus sian College, for girls, and is very dili gent in performing bis duties. He lately decided to see for himself whether there was any grounds for the complaints of the poor food furnished at, the Hmoling Convent, where eight hundred girls are educated. Proceeding to the institu tion just before the usual dinner hour; be avoided the main entrance, and walked toward the kitchen. At its door lie met two soldiers carrying a huge steaming caldron. “ Halt!” he cal led out; “put that kettle down.” The soldiers, of course, olieyed. “ Rring me a spoon,” he added. The spoon was produced, but one of the soldiers ventured to begin a stam mering remonstrance. “ Hold your tongue,” cried the prince; “ take off the lid I insist on tasting it.” No further objection was raised, and the prince took a Large spoonful. “ S ou call this soup?” he exclaimed. “ Why, it is dirty water!” “It is, your Highness,” replied the soldier; “we have just been cleaning out the laundry.” fir eat Enterprises. The present time is fruitful in schemes of great magnitude. There are already projected: Anew suspension bridge over Niagara river. . A now Atlantic cable in addition to that now in process of construction. A ship-canal across the Isthmus of Darien. A ship-railroad across the same strip of hind, separating two oceans. A railroad over the desert of Sahara, connecting Algeria and Soudan. A canal, which, conveying the waters of the Mediterranean into the sands of Africa, shall make a great inland sea and fertilize arid wastes. The establishment of watei'-communi cation between the Black and Caspian seas. These Terrors. War Is a terrible thing, and it is hoped the day is near at hand when our soldiers will lie beaten into plowshares, and our difficulties settled by arbitration. In a recent engagement between the Chilian and Peruvian forces, a horse trod on a •oldier’s bunion, and he yelled so—the •oldier. not the horse—that you could heai him two miles. A lieutenant on the other side was also wounded. His sword became entangled between his legs* which tripped him up, and he sustained a slight abrasion of the left cheek bone. It is understood that both armies are now •uiug for peace.