Newspaper Page Text
THE SUN.
HARTWELL, HAST COIISTV, ta
AYEHS & MuQILL, Edit. is.
THE HES&EXGEHS,
wr ITTII M. BOLTOV.
A white-wljigrd msvcnger ovus
And stood by my aide one dey.
**'^*P ero< i| ‘‘ I never cu come eatin.”
Then silently flew away.
Bnt another came in lta place,
And, aeeiug my aad surprise,
Low whispered. “I bear a message from thee
To niy home beyond the skies.”
I fain would have questioned more
®‘ ,e ’ (alr thing waa gone,
fel * that would apeak for me
" “cu the day of account# should com*.
Another, and still they came;
Each had a message for me
Of work to lie done in the cause of right,
And conscience and work must agree.
But oft as they glided by,
N® pure and white when they oame,
Methought I could trace on their auowv wines
A record of sin with ifs stain.
I glad would have called them back.
But alus! 1 hey could yoinc no more,
And the message I fain would obliterate
la borne to the other shore.
Thus the days and years sped on
rill to-night, my life most done,
Tho ghosts of my white-winged messengers
Come back to mo one by one.
IV hat meaneth their sad reproach 1
Neglect, abuse, e’en the death
Of their brightest ones is laid to my charge *
As I stand with bated breath.
“ Who art thoy ?” “ We’re envoys of peace
To note* what you thiuk, say and do.
We whisper of right—lf thou heed’st it not
Our record must still be true.”
Thy Father hath sent us in love;
We hail from a /airer clime.
Thou call’st us momenta while we are here'
- When none, thou call’st us time.
' A Fatal inheritance.
BY L'EIGH L. BROOKNEB.
"Is this artist's blouse becoming to
me?” asked Dnisilla Sterling of her
Cousin Lucrece.
“ Wlmt matter whether a garment be
comes you or not ? Your attitudes are
always graceful and fascinating. If it
wore for this alone it would be worth
while to be the daughter of a dancer. I
wonder what Maxwell St. Ives would
say if he knew that ?”
Drusilla’s anger was at white heat,
but so great was her self-control that to
an ordinary observer she would have
seemed perfectly calm. Her voice was
unusually smooth and low os she replied
to Lucrece’s scornful speech :
“Thank you for your compliment,
though it is not by any means new for
me to be told that lam graceful. As
for St. Ives knowing the story of my
parentage, I mean to tell him as soon as
occasion demands ; at present he is too
little interested in me or my affairs to
care about the story.”
Poor Lu felt that*her thrust had been
without effect. It was rarely she al
lowed herself to be so bitter, but surely
sho had occasion. Here was this squint
eyed, pale-faced, ill-bom and ill-bred
creature, who, by some elfish witchery,
had won Lucerce’s handsome lover from
her.
From the first.. momerC iirvp RahoU
heard Drusilla’s voice he had been ready
to follow her tlirough the world. Only
two months from England, and already
so unfortunate as to have caused an affi
anced lover to be unfaithful to his vows !
It was rumored that a young curate on
the other side of the water had com
mitted suicide for her sake.
When her cousin left the room Dru
silla sat down before the pier-glass and
looked at herself steadily, sadly.
“My fate follows me. I am doomed
to make trouble wherever I go. Lu is
jealous, and, therefore, uiqust. I have
never, by the slightest conscious act,
tried to win her lover. Yet Roy is hand
some, and the temptation has been very
strong sometimes. ”
It was a source of deep humiliation to
Drusilla that her mother had been an
actress, and, when she remembered her
cousin’s taunt, sho resolved to try and
make her more unhappy.
“ I will deny myself the pleasure of
being amiable to Koy Sebert no longer.
If Cousin Lu, with those lovely dark
eves of hers, cannot enchain a lover, we
will see what the daughter of a dancer
can do! ”
She lifted a small green-velvet shade
from the toilet table and placed it oyer
her eyes. An intense and unremitting
devotion to philosophical studies had
made her nearly blind. Certainly, her
eyes w'ere not pleasant to look at, and
she said, “I certainly wish to shock no
one by my hideousness.” Perhaps she
was also aware that the dark velvet shade
would make her forehead the fairer by
contrast. She was tall and well devel
oped, not at all the sort of woman one
would take to be a coquette. This was
what her female friends called her, but
the gentlemen without exception denied
“She is simply a lovable woman, and
wins our interest without effort,” said
her gentleman admirers.
“ Slie is so artful as to conceal art,
said the bitter and unloved of her own
86 One dav, as she sat talking to Max
well St. Ives, the door opened and little
5-year-old Floy said, “Mr. Devine is
C Maxwell’s lip curled, and he remarked :
“ I did not know this was public-recep
tion day. I will call again,
“ Pray be seated, Mr. St. Ives. I
have something to say to you when my
young friend is gone. Fred is priv
ileged, and comes at any time; you
honor me with your presence more rare
ly-” • ,
The caller had for excrse a pair of
Drusilla’s white kid gloves, that she had
left in the village reading-room. She
took them with thanks for liis thought
fulness, and as si l © talked twisted thein
carelessly in her hands. Fred was pained
by this seemingly trival incident. He
was romantic and not a little supersti
tious, for between the palms of the gloves
he had placed a dainty blue violet, say
ing to himself, I will let this blossom be
the svmbol of my fate. If she places it
at her throat or in her hair, if it in any
way receives attention or gives pleasure-,
I shall hope. As she tossed the gloves
aside the' flower fell broken and un
noticed at her feet. Ah, how different
is our &QSI fee reality, It was
The Hartwell Sun.
By AYERS & McGILL.
VOL. V. NO. 13.
the first violet of the year, as it was tho
first love of his life !
As lie aroso to go slie said : "If you
will please take me by the baud I will
accompany you to the head of the stairs.
T want to scold you a little for something
I have heard. With this dreadful shade
that I am obliged to. wear I eauuot find
my way without stumbling W:U you
excuse me for tho merest moment, Mr.
Bt. Ivee?”
Now, it was not really necessary for
Brasilia to be led about in a house where
she was perfectly familiar, but she wished
to influenee Fred, and kuew of no way
more certain.
How her soft, magnetic liaml thrilled
him. Why, her lightest touch was like a
caress. She talked very earnestly to
him about his growing fondness for cards
and wine. Said she had heard such
rumors, but would not believe them.
Would he promise that the gossip should
be without foundation ? He would prom
ise auythiug. He would reform !
Ro-eiitering the parlor, she remarked
to Maxwell: "My college boys are so
much to me like brothers, I can reprove
and admonish them in truly orthodox
style without their resenting it. They
need someone to scold them a little
sometimes.”
Maxwell said, in his abrupt, argu
mentative way: “ Fred Devino does not
consider himself merely a boy friend;
lie thinks himself a man and comes a
wooing.”
The color crept into Dmsilla’s pale
face : "Hush, Maxwell St. Ives, I will
not believe it. My own regard for this
lad is, so different. I want him to re
gard me as a friend ; I want him to look
up to mo, and come to mo for counsel
and sympathy; I want his esteem;
in short, I want earnest, respectful,
beautiful friendship, instead of fickle,
passionate, fatal love !”
She was much excited. All the con
trol slie had shown when Lu taunted
her was swept away. She had suffered
so much through love that she could
bear no mention of what had darkened
her whole life.
“ Whenever and wherever I try to es
tablish a friendship, it is shortly trans
formed into reckless and despairing
love.”
All that she said was received in utter
silence. Surely he was not man but
marble. All this was such deep grief to
her, and he did not care. Any other man
would have expressed some sympathy ;
not so this impassive Northerner, v'ho,
PXTiiaaj an/! !-■■ L - 1 1. avi*.! ’*. ■ 1
of acting. He had been drawn toward
her at first, but an anonymous letter had
told him to “beware of Drusilla Ster
ling,” that she was an actress by birth,
and by education, and utterly without
heart. From that time he had been on
his guard.
“ Pardon my emotion,” sho said, after
a moment’s pause. “Pardon me also if
I go on to say more of myself.
“ I want you to know if there is any
sufficient reason in the past why my
present should be so full of passion and
pain ! You have before now accused me
of being a coquette ! Upon my honor I
do not mean to be. What Ido I cannot
help. It is a deep and sad fatality. Let
me tell you the story of my birth that
you may judge for yourself how I came
to inherit my birthright of sorrow'.
“ My father was an English artist and
marriee a woman who made her living
by singing and dancing at the theaters.
8110 was as deceitful as she Was beauti
ful. My old nurse Jeanette has often
told me how mother would say to her :
‘ The Englishman is an ogre.’ But to
him she would say: ‘You are grand
like the gods.’ She won him, not be
cause she loved him, but because he
was supposed to l>e wealthy. He loved
her with his imagination rather than
with his heart. He was very suscepti
ble to beauty and gracefulness, and both
were her’s to a remarkable degree. The
fact that she was married did not pre
vent men loving her. She died when I
was but three days old, and father and
Jeanette brought me to England.
“From my tenth year I have been con
scious of possessing my mother’s fatal
fault of fascination. There is nothing I
so much deplore, for I have my father’s
honest English heart, and would win love
only where I could return it. Until the
last few months I have never known
what that word meant. You are still si
lent. I have lost your esteem by con
fessing my mother’s profession. Oh,
Maxwell Bt. Ives, I trusted you! Are
you not still my friend ?”
In her earnestness she laid both her
little caressing hands over both of
his. All his reserve and skepticism
were swept away. He pressed her hands
like rose leaves in his own, and an
swered :
‘ ‘ For life—for death !”
Before they parted they were betrothed
lovers. Drusilla had some misgivings,
and said:
“Can you go to your proud mother
and tell her that you have espoused the
daughter of a dancer?”
“ Drusilla Sterling, I can say any
thing to anybody. If only you are true
to me there is no obstacle to our union
that I will not easily overcome. I have
given myself to you, body and soul, and
God help him who comes between us !”
Ohe felt her heart grow cold as he
spoke. Was this love also to prove un
happy ? O, it was too sad that in this
first glad hour of betrothal there should
l>e a shadow of impending evil. She
loved him so ! It was cruel that she
could not be free from forebodings. At
the moment of farewell she sobbed as if
her heart were breaking, and he had
scarcely reached his home when a note
followed him, saying :
“ Maxwell St. Ives : As I love you
I must never see you again. ‘I would
HARTWELL, GA., NOVEMBER 24. 11-80.
only bring you unhappiness. It is my
sad fa to. Forget me and farewell.
“ Yours, with love and regret,
“BarsiiiiiA Struuno.”
It was hardly tho kind of letter to send
a man the world's width from his heiu-t’s
desire! No possible combination of
words could have l>een more certain to
bring him to her side. No pleading, no
Tenderness, oould have Won more potent
than this deeply-desjiondout dismissal.
What would he not venture for her af
fection ! Other men might love her—
they must love her if they lmt entered
her presence—but as for Brasilia her
self, she should be so sheltered by his
devotion, so hedged about by his atten
tions ami tenderness that she could love
no one else.
He would not visit her to-morrow nor
for many days. He would wait until
her mood had changed and she was sub
dued by a desire to see him. He had
some jHiwer over her that ho kuew. Hut
his own will was weakest. He must see
her. He must hold her in his arms, if
only for a moment It was evening,
two weeks from his Inst visit. That very
afternoon Roy Sobert hail returned from
a fishing excursion, and at 8 o’clock he
found Brasilia alone in tho brilliantly
lighted parlor. Never had he
seen her so well dressed, she
was careless about her attire in general,
aim had put on her one rich dress, a
myrtle green silk, bought, I think, to
match her emerald ring and necklace,
Brasilia had persuaded herself thatMux
well would visit her that evening. Oh,
could she but have known on wlmt a
fatal errand, she would never have lot
Roy lift her hand to examine the quaint
device on her ring. Before she could
prevent it, Roy hail pressed her hand to
his lips. She snatched it angrily away,
and at that instant the words Hashed
through her brain, “ God help him who
conies between us.”
At Brasilia’s command Hoy instantly
left the room. He had been gone but a
moment when she heard the report of a
pistol, and, fearing she knew not what,
slie rushed into ttie hall only to find her
worst fears confirmed. Roy Sebert 1 y
there upon the floor in a last agony, the
blood issuing from a wound in bis
heart.
Swift as Brasilia had been Lucrece
was there before her. Slio was down
upon her knees trying to stanch the
blood. Her face was distorted with hor
ror and grief. She was still as death
until she found her efforts vain, and,
when her lover fell a lifeless burden
from her arms, such a shriek echoed
wmitigßTHW Hffilffl 1 ■JiGT'rtliTd never Tie for-'
gotten by those who heard it. Fatlior
and mother knew in that instant that
their beloved only daughter was a hope
less maniac. Glaring wildly around,
her glance fell upon Brasilia, and, re
garding her cousin ns tho murderer of
her lover, she sprang toward her with
insane fury. It required the united
strength of Mr. Sterling anil his farm
hand to loosen her hold of Brasilia's
throat! O what a night ef horror was that!
Brasilia lying between life and death,
Lucrece raving of her lover, and accus
ing Brasilia ns his murderer.
Only one person knew the truth of
the affair; that was John Miller, the
hired man. He had been to the village,
and, on his return, he saw Maxwell Bt.
Ives standing by the gate, lookiug
toward the house. The man glanced up
to find what attracted his attention, and
there, plain as day, saw Roy Sebert kiss
Drusilla’s hand. ’ 'Die next instant Max
well went rapidly up the walk, entered
the house without announcement, and,
almost immediately afterward, retraced
his steps, mounted his horse, and rode
rapidly away.
All this was elicited the following day
at the Coroner’s inquest, and the fact
that Maxwell Bt. Ives was missing was
all that was needed to confirm the ver
dict, and free Drusilla irom any sus
picion of direct complicity in the mur
der. Yet when, after weeks of illness,
she came back to reason and life, she
felt that she could no longer remain
under her uncle’s roof.
“I must live by myself,” she said,
sadly; “I bring sorrow and death into
every household I enter.”
So it was planned that a cottage
should be bought, and Jeanette should
be sent for as companion and servant.
I was visiting a friend in the country
who told me the story. She said to me,,
one afternoon when wo were out driving,
“ Would you like to call on Drusilla
Sterling? there is the cottage. ”
It was a beautiful place. There were
English roses trained about the low
porch.. A woman in French cay met us
at the door and conducted us into the
room where her mistress sat reading. A
stately woman, wearing a black dress
and a small black cap, that, with its cor
onet outline marked by tiny pearls,
looked like a small royal crowm The
eyes were clear and dark, but infinitely
sad. Of late years Jeanette had read
to her mistress until Dnisilla’s over
taxed eyes had, by.rest and carefulness,
become as bright as in youth. Her
mouth was large, but curved and sweet.
She was so grateful to us for coming ;
she admitted that her life was lonely at
times.
When my friend said, “I have told
Miss Brookner your story, and she gives
you her love and sympathy, ” she reached
her right hand out to me. I can never
forget the clasp of those soft, caressing
fiugers. By-and-by she was led to talk
of the past and of Maxwell St. Ives. A
man answering to the advertised descrip
tion of him had died of yellow fever in
New Orleans one year after that sum
mer-night tragedy.
The climbing of Mt. Blanc by F. J.
Campbell, a blind man, was a piece of
blind folly.
Devoted to Hart County.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Hinds is tlm most populous county in
Mississippi.
There arc nine cotton seed oil mills in
Mississippi.
The cattle drive of Texas this year will
attach 400,000.
The Slate Treasury of Texas contains
nearly $1,000,000.
Jasper county, Ala., voted to rejieal
the prohibition law.
Western Texas is fast being turned
into pns'ures with barbed wire.
Beaufort county, S. C., has 2,438 white
and 27 //>2 colored inhabitants.
The Slate offices at Little Rock arc
still heated with blazing pine knots.
There arc 2,170 members of the An
cient Order of United Workmen in Ten*
ncssee.
Of 122 Greenback newspnpcrH in the
United States only sixteen are published
si nth of the Ohio river.
S. H. Cox, of Oglethorpe county, Ga.,
presented the Rev. Mr. Ivey with a
plantation worth $4,000.
There is but one member of the forty
of the last Georgia Senute returned to
the present Legislature.
There arc fourteeu thousand six hun
dred nnd fifty-two more females than
males in South Carolina.
The I'ratt coal and coke company, five
miles from Birmingham, Ala., are get
ting out 000 tons of coal per day.
The Commissioner of Immigration of
Florida thinks that 18,000 people have
immigrated t that State within two
yean.
An qlegant new steamer is being built
to run on the line between New York,
Port Royal, Fcrnandina and Jackson
ville, Fla.
In Nicholas county, W. Vn., James
Anst.ii, aged thirteen, and George Mas
tin, afeql sixteen, killed during a week’s
jt'UakUikUr d(£r.
Notce has lx*en given that n hill will
bo intwduced into the next Legislature
to increase the liquor license of Telfair
county, Ga., to $5,000.
The shipments of cattle and sheep
from Southwestern Virginia are now so
heavy that it is with difficulty that ears
can le procured for their transportation.
Thi machinery for a Clement Attach
ment ins been received and put in jMisi
tion a Mt. Pleasant, Gadsden county,
Fla. tt took three cars to carry the ma
chinery to that place.
One (thousand feet of tubing for the
artesifli well has arrived in Little Hock,
and wotk will be at once resumed in pre
paring fie well for further boring. The
director* believe that a large volume of
water will be obtained.
A martin Madison county, Tex., gath
ered on his farm 1,000 bushels of pecans
and sold them in San Antonio for #:S.4h
per bushel, .lust covered the ex
penses of gathering and marketing, so In
realized a profit of $.‘5,400 on the crop.
The Capitol Commissioners appointed
by the Georgia Legislature hr look into
the validity of the title of the city ol
Atlanta to thp City Hall lot, which was
deeded some time ago to the .State for
the site of the State capital, have held a
meeting and decided to accept the City
Hall lot.
At Dallas, Tex., Maj. Penn baptized
thirteen convicts, old men and women,
middle-aged and young people, in the
river. Dong before the hour arrived for
the immersion the town commenced pour
ing forth its citizens till the hanks of the
river on either side was a mass of hu
manity. His meetings are the events of
the season.
Judge William Cothran was on his
way to Lexington, Miss., to hold Circuit
Court, when he was suddenly taken sick
at Winona and died in a few hours. lie
was seventy-five years old, and had been
Circuit Judge six years before the war.
He was elected by the people since the
war and was removed by Governor
Ames. He was appointed in 1876 by
Governor Stone for six years.
The New Orleans Picayune has some
statistics showing that before the civil
war the South had more taxable property
on her rolls than New England and the
Middle States combined. After the con
test and five years of peace, she had sunk
$300,000,000 below the New England
States alone. In 1860 forty percent, of
all the real and personal property as
sessed in the United States was in the
Southern States, while now they have
only fourteen per cent.
Some English capitalists own 500,000
acres of land in Alabama, on the line of
$1.50 Per Annum
WHOLE NO. 2*21.
the Alabama Great Southern railroad,
which are very rich in tiinlwr and min
erals and which they intend developing.
For the present chief attention will la*
given to developing the mineral resources
of those lands, which are almost lxmnd
less, hut the farming interests will not
Ih* neglected. Arrangements are now
making to induce immigration of Kn
lish farmers, and at an early day a num
ber will probably settle on the lands.
Bellvillc (Tex.) Times : W. E. Crump,
near his plantation on the Brazos river,
last week discovered an alligator on the
hank, some distance from the water. On
riding up quite close it reared up to at
tack him, when ho dextrously threw a
strong rope over its head, and wheeling
his horse rode quickly off. Tho alliga
tor followed so rapidly that it were fully
a hundred yards before he succeeded in
tight hi ng the ro[K* aroutut his neck. Af
ter a desperate struggle Mr. Cruiiip.suc
eecded in dragging his prize home, where
he dispatched it at his leisure. It
measured over ten feet.
Moody, the Evangelist.
Twenty-four years ago Mr. Moody was
a smart young Oliiuago salesman, who
engaged in Sunday-school work because
of tho aggressive spirit of Christian
prosolytism hi him wliieh had to have a
vent. Not being able to get a class, lm
picked up eighteen bare-headed and
Imre-footed, rugged and dirty urchins,
and marched them into tho North Wells
street Sabbath school. Not, satisfied
even then, 1m kept going out into the
streets and getting more, turning them
over to new teachers as 1m brought them
in. Then ho organized a mission school
of his own, renting a saloon in one of
tho vilest quarters of tlm city to hold it
in. Out of this has grown the great
Chicago Avenue Mission, or " Mr.
Moody’s Church,” as it is called now,
which is one of the most attractive
points of interest in the city to strangers.
When tlm North Market Mission build
ing, os it was tlmu known, wits swept
away in tlm great fire, Mr. Moody built
the present extensive edifice. The money
to build it and to buy tlm ground,
amounting to nearly SIOO,OOO, was con
tributed by the scholars of various Sun
day schools throughout the country in
small contributions, aided by a few of
* # AlVsiFklp Vi . WV4...1 IM4IIIP •fl
the money coming from as far away us
China. For nearly twenty years this
mission was the scene of Mr. Moody’s
noblest. Christian efforts, the object of
his tenderest solicitude. Tlirough heat
and rain, in storm and ice and swelter
ing weather, ho tramped through the
most forsaken districts of the city, form
ing the acquaintance of the poorest class
of children and their parents, and bringing
into play every device his tact and ex
perience could suggest toget them to go
to church and Sunday school. In liih
sermons bo lets drop some stray bits of
personal history bearing upon bis trials
and rebuffs at this period ; as, for in
stance, where he tells of boys throwing
old boots and shoes after him and oc
casionally smashing the windows of his
meeting house; but it is only here in
Chicago, and by accidental encounters
with those familiar with the circumstan
ces that one can form an adequate idea
of the difficulties and even perils that
Mr. Moody braved in these early days of
his missionary ministry. There are many
persons, now living in Chicago, who tell
of thrilling escapes which Mr. Moody
had from personal violence in his efforts
to bring the refining and elevating influ
ences of Christianity to the doors of the
very refuse of the city’s foreign popu
lation, at a time, too, when the law and
order were not as generally prevalent as
now. —Chicapo Correspondence.
How Tooth-Brushes Are Made.
Although the tooth-brush is not a
a very complicated article, no small de
gree of skill is required in its manufact
ure In the first place, care must bo
exercised in the selection of bone from
which the handle is to lie made. For
this purpose the thigh bone of an ox is
used, and instead of boiling these with
the joints on—the method commonly in
vogue—these joints are sawed off pre
vious to the boiling process. The in
creased heat necessary in the former
method renders the bone unfit for the
purjaise of tlie brush manufacturer.
On arriving at the factory tlie bones
are first sawed into the required length
and thickness for brush-handles. They
are next turned with a model in a simi
lar manner to that employed in tlie man
ufacture of shoe-lasts. Then comes the
jKilishing process, which is done by
means of a sort of revolving churn.
An ingeniously-contrived machine now
takes the pieces and deftly punctures
holes for the bristles while grooves are
cut in the top by saws. Now being
ready for the bristles, they are intro
duced to the department for this work.
Girls are usually employed for this
branch of the business. After putting
in the bristles, tiiey are backed with
sealing w#x to fasten thorn securely in
place and to fill up the grooves. All
that remains to be (lone is to brand tlie
brushes and pack them for market.
Rare.
A Brooklyn butcher has an intelligent
German clerk who is trying to learn En
glish by looking up in tlie dictionary
every word he hears but does not under
stand. A lady customer, in her effort to
explain what cut of meat she wanted,
and why she wanted it. mentioned that
she ate her beef cooked rare. “ Hare V”
tit; repeated. “Bare? Vat ish dat?
0, yes; I know, lt-a-r-e—Yery seldom.”
TITH AND POINT.
Ann now Lady Godiva is said to be ft
myth—a bare falsehood, as it were.
Actors should lx* watoliod closely on
election day. Thoy are professional re
peaters,
Somk oue inquires : " Where have all
the ladies’ bolts gone ?” Gone to waist
long ago.
If a mule hail as many legs as a cock
roach this country wouldn’t be so thickly
(xipulated.
Thk bobtailed horse iiiends hi* whole
existence in lamenting ilia lack of ter
minal facilities.
A eoMFosrron who cannot agroo with
his wife says he must have taken her
out of the wrong font.
Why is the discovery of tho North polo
like an illicit whisky manufactory? Be
cause it's a secret still.
It requires but a short time for ft
young lady out shopping to learn all the
countersigns of the dry-goods trade.
“ I oan mot think," mv■ Dick,
•• Whet inekii. my inkle, grow no thick.”
'* You do not recollect," > Berry,
'* How greet e calf Uiey lisve to carry.”
Tub /-.)/< says it was a Bloomington
man who tiit the uail ou the licud, but
he mourned tho loss of a thumb by tho
transaction.
From Adnm thoy took a riblxme to
make fair woman. Fair woman hns
been made up with ribbon ever since.—-
Itloonningtun A 'ye.
Physicians now say that tho telephone
is injurious to the ear. We presume
it's the strain of listening and hearing
nothing that does tho harm.
One of the first requisitions received
from a imwly-iqqmiritod railway station
agent was: "Send mo a gallon of red
oil for tho danger lanterns.”
In Texas there is a township called
Gin, and in it a town called Brandy, and
the name of the postoffioo is Rummy.
No State could ask for anything bettor.
A very disagreeable old gentleman
dies. A nephew, cliurgod with tho duty
of preparing his epitaph, suggests :
" Deeply regretted by all who nevor
knew him.”
"Ain’t that u lovely critter, John ?" said
Jerusha, as she stopped opjxmito the
leopard's cage. “Wa’aL yes,” said
John, "but thou lie’s drenully frecklod,
ain’t ho ? ”
"I think, dear, tho dew has com
menced falling,” lie said in his softest
accents. "Yes,” she yawned, “I’ve
been hoping to bear adieu for some time.
He didn’t call the next evening.
The Whitehall Times says the fish iu
Lake Champlain have been so long with
out water that when it Itegan to rain, for
thb first time in Hix weeks, they were
seen running about with umbrellas over
their heads.
A TOUNO woman in Denver tiling hep
self into a cistern, but she was fished
out. A local paragrapher advised her
as follow i: “ Cis turn from your evil
ways.” But he won’t joke that way
when it comes cistern.
A poet asks : “When I am dead and
lowly laid Ami clod* fall heavy
from the Hj)fuh' t who’ll think of mo ?
Don’t worry. Tnilorn ami HhoenmkorH
hnvo roUmtivo momorioH, And you’ll not
Ik* fovffotton. —AforriMlown /It.vuLd^.
Fatk of ii jiltod butcher .
Hd triad in drink to drown hi* care*,
And thero found no rrllef;
lint dully |<rw more wixvbegone—
You never huumok Kriwf.
At lat liih weary houl found rent,
Hi* KorrowH now are o’er;
No tickle maid now trouble* him—
-I’ork rancher, lie’* no more.
Onk Sunday night we were Hitting out
in the moonlight, unusually silent, al
most sad. Bud<Umly some one—a po
etic-looking man, with a gentle, lovely
face —said, in a low tone, “ Did you
ever think of the beautiful lesson the
stars teach us? ’’ We gave a vague, ap
preciative murmur, but some soulless
clod said, “No; what is it?” “How
to wink,” ho answered, with a sad, sweet
voice.
Simple Language In Sermons.
In addressing the multitude, simplio
ity of language is always liigtily desir
able, thero being the danger of the un
learned attaching very different (and
sometimes very awkward) meanings to
the grand and uncommon words which
even careful clergymen may bo betrayed
into using in the pulpit. One of those,
when in his study and in the net of com
posing a sermon, made use of the term
“ostentatious man.” Throwing down
his pen, he wished to satisfy himself,
ere he proceeded, as to whether a great
portion of his congregation might com
prehend the meaning of the said term,
and adopted the following method of
proof. Ringing the hell, his footman
appeared, and was thus addressed by his
master : “ What do you conceive to bo
implied by an ostentatious man ?” “An
ostentatious man, sir?” said Thomas.
“ Why, sir, I should say a perfect gen
tleman.” “ Very good,’* said the Vicar.
“ Send Ellis [lns coachman] here.’ “El
lis,” asked the Vicar, “ what do you im
agine an ostentatious man to be ?” “An
ostentatious man, sir?” replied Ellis.
“ Why, I should say an ostentatious man*
meant what we calls—saving your pres
ence—a jolly good fellow.” It need
scarcely be told that the Vicar substi
tuted a less “ostentatious” word. —
Chambers' Journal.
Crushed.
A dashing young fellow was very at
tentive to a young lady who secretly did
not favor his attentions, and who was
blessed with an olwerviug little brother
of only a few summer’s growth. The
lady’s admirer was visiting her when
the little chap broke into their presence,
and, mounting tin; dashing young man’s
knee, said : “ Haven’t you got a tine
room?” “Oh, yes,” proudly replied
the dashing young fellow, whose vanity
was evidently touched by the remark.
Seeing, as lie thought, in the circum
stances an opportunity to make a favor
able impression on tlie sister, he gave
bis mustache an extra twist, aud reiter
ated his reply with emphasis : “Oh
yes, a very fiue room.” “ I thought so,’
said the young hopeful, musingly.
“ But wliat made you think so?” said the
young lady’s admirer, liis curiosity by
this time fully aroused. “Because,
was the crushing reply, “Sister Mag
Haid your room wan better than your
company. ”
A Cincinnati dyer went insane from
political excitement. We suppose the
more lie read the madder he got.