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FUN IN POLITICS. flow HIT n—re* W Orlbblmu „ I don't believe I ever told you about thc way Colonel Gribbins got used up in making political speeches in a hot campaign thirty years ago, with Sam Hex ford, did I V' asked Uncle Parker: No, however had. \y e ll. the long and the short of it that Gribbin* and llexy, as they called him, was stumpin’ the State together givin’ discussions on the issues of the time. Gribbins was a re g Mar rattler on the stump an* they hsdn t been on the road two days be fore llexy found out that he had a mighty big contract on hand. They wM t, o th good speakers, an’ either one on ’em could hold an audience till they got hungry, an’ though llexy was with out the least mite of a doubt away nlicad of the old man in sound argy ,nent an’ convincin’doctrine, still Grib bins had the faculty of dishin’ up a sUsliin’ lot o' sarcasm, an’ si ingin’ it in jest at the right time to tickle thc crowd an’ either spike all Hexy’s big -cst guns or turn ’em square round, an’ make ’em pint the wrong way. llexy .li ln’t like this a bit, for. he was a ~nn man, an' it hurt him like fury to r|ie laugh turned on him, for he v:IN !lS a matter of course, full o’ van- jtu an’ thought more of a woman's smile than a man's vote, lie kept a weather eye on the old man, though, studied all his p’ints an’ dodges, an’ nifl de up his mind to get even with the old fox, or never go borne. But lie had bis hands full, now, you're jest right. ••The colonel was an old stager, an’ |,e didn't propose to be caught nappin,’ so wlienever Hexy’d git puffed up a little with the conceit that he had got him jest about where he wanted him, as soon as the old man got the boards a! /aiu' he’d find himself worse took in tun i ever, for away the old fallow would sail o vef his head clear out of reach, with some new piece of connin' that llexy’d never dreamed of. It worried the youngster like blazes, but he wasn’t the sort to throw up the sponge, an’ he hung on with full confidence that he would he able by some hook or crook to yank the old silver-tongue around rWrt where he wanted him before he got through, and that's jest what he done. “ For three day* llexy watched the dd mail like a hawk, and didn't let a or gesture git away from him. Kvory look, every syllable, every move of tin* hand, every smile, every twitch o' the lips, every squint o’ the eye, was all marked an’ laid away for use when the time come. “ About the third day, I think it was, llexy noticed that the colonel had a fashion o’ lay in’ his specks on the stand, an’ then about the time he got ready to sling red-hot sarcasm thickcr’n hljick-legs at a boss race, he'd pick'em up, set ’em on his nose, an’ in less n a minute shove ’em away back on his bald-head, an’ then cut loose, and bile along with a vengeance. All at oncet n cj it popped intollexy’s head how Dan’l Webster had floored the head boy at school by cuttin’ off a button that he fumbled with while sayin his lesson, an’ he saw in a minute how he could , straighten out the colonel in the same *sy. before the speakin’ begun the next afternoon he bought two dozen pairs o' cheap specks, of the same pat tern as the old man’s an’ then laid low I for big game. “That day the colonel was feeliu’ I an’ I r’ally b’lieve was out doin’ I himself. Hexy was settin’ on the I other side o’ stand from liim, watchin’ I for his chance. Bimeby, the old man ■ picked up his specks as usual, clapped I’em on his head and struck his gait. ■ The next minnte Hexy laid another Ipsir upon the stand. Presently the old ■ man accidently pot his hand on the H Hand, got hold of the specks, an’ ■‘timed 'em tip alongside o' the totlier ■ ones. The audience roared, which ■ •posin' he’d made a good p’int, spurred B l ni np an’ agged him on. Well, Ilexy ■ k,, PUn pilin’ more specks on to the ■itaiii], an' the ole rooster kept on ■•tuckin' ’em up on to his head till his bald skull looked like the show ■*inder of a silversmith's shop, the all the while shoutin’ harder an’ firin' him up more au' more, for it all to be reg'lar applause, ■ ' at ‘Hat oncet be clapped his hand f n that pile o’ glassware, an' he W* lSa lost man at that minute. The unspeakable helpless look come ■ J '" r bint anybody ever saw ; his knees ■ together, an’ he tumbled, wilted ■, .helpless into the chair, and didn't k Ke another speech during that cam- Jbat’s the way Hexy floored The Hartwell Sun. By £. B. BENSON. VOL. VII., NO. . Jim. ‘‘You want to see my boy Jim?" said the old mau, querulously. “Well, you’ll have to travel a long way first, 1 reckon, for he don’t live here, uor hasn't for the past teu years; he was too smart for me, was Jim—knew a heap more than his old dad—wanted to sit idle and run the farm by machinery, talked about scieuce and kemistry and the like, was sassy and disobedient, and he went away like the prodigal sou, ouly he ain’t never come back yet. “What do you sav ? Bead ? Mebbe so, mebbe uo —the ways of God arc past fiudiu’out! All I know is I did my dooty by him. He was well raised, but he nigh onto broke our hearts, his mother and mine! She was kiud of easy with him—women are soft creatures ennywav —but I did by him as my father did by me, and he was a God fearing, God-serving man! I never let him go to a circus in his life, though he would run away and get in somehow, and I minded Solomon’s precepts not to spare the rod and spoil the child. ‘What is that ? beat him ? Of conrse I beat him and tried to get the Old Adam oaten him, and the more I whipt him the more carnal natur he showed! I kept him at work from mornin’ till night, accordiu’ to good old Doctor \Vattß-his-name: “ ‘For Satan finds some mischief still For idle hands to do.’ “Twan’t a bit of use ! That boy was bound to go to the bad! He learned keerds and hoss-raciu' and began to talk impious—said there was no harm in ownin’ a fast boss and that there wasn’t a bit of sin in playin’ keerds and wanted to bring ’em iuto the house. N\ by, I'd burned the ruff over my bed fust! And I had to fight ’em both. His mother was that soft and womanish ; said she’d learn to play to keep him at home, and thought mebbe the Lord would forgive her, and she a purfessor, too! Oh, it was hard, hut I did my dooty. I told him he could go and make his bed, and ez he made it he’d have to lie in it, but we wouldn’t have him bringing his rioting companions into our fold, so he chose his way and went, and stranger, we've never set eyes on him or heard from him since. I told him he was no son of mine, nor could he tech a penny of my hard earuin’s and then he asked if I begrudged him my love, and I told him I had no fellowship with unbe lievers, and he cried a little —he was soft like bis mother —and that was the last I see of him. I don’t mind tell in’ you it has worried me some, that I wasn’t stricter with him, and I’ve prayed to be frorgiven if I ever let him have his own way, but he was elected to be lost. I ’spose it’s in the plan of salva tion ! “What’s that ? You’ve seen him ? Well, now, if lie is acquainted with a likely looking young man like you, he can’t be very far astray. “I kind of conceited my instructions might follow him. llieres the very strap I used to lather him with, stran ger. I’ve alius kept it to remind me that I did my dooty ! And you’ve seen Jim ? How does he look ? Favors me, don’t he? Well! well! and you say he's made money ? Not boss racin ? No! in a good business! Well, now, I’m real glad he didn’t turn out so bad arter all; but he couldn’t very well, when both his father and mother are purfessors —and that boy knew the Wesmiuster Catekisin by heart when he was uine years old, and I mind now a whippin’ I give him for saying he‘hated the old thing!’ Awful speech, wasn t it ? But he was just that unregenerate ! And you’re his best chum ? “Mother, come here aud see Jim’s chum. “That’s his mother coming now ; she’s kind of weak and foolish about Jim. Lord ! what’s the matter of the woman? “Why, she's kissin’ and a-cryiu’ over the stranger. “What! our Jim ? “No! that likely young man our bad boy Jim? “Well! well! the ways of the Lord are past findin’ out. “Now, you see mother, what’s come of ray alius doin’ my dooty by that boy v’—Detroit Free Press. Vigor, strength and health all found iu one bottle of Brown’s Iron Bitters. Devoted to Hart County. HARTWELL. GA.. SEPTEMBER til, 1882. The Value of Milk. A physician, the other day, complain ed of having a headache. We joking ly told him that a brother of his cured the complaint by taking a certain sort of pill. “ I don't believe in taking pills,” he answered. We rejoined: •‘You would rather give them to oth ers.” Another Doctor, not a thousand miles from the city, is said to have advised and instructed his wife, when sick, that, in case any of his brethren called upon him and prescribed, to make no opposition, at the time, but afterward throw the medicine out of the window. It would appear from these facts that the Doctors, in many cases, do not believe in drugs as much as their patients do, and that many complicated nostrums are recommend ed, because the sick man or woman will have it so. Medicine, like law. has been obscured because the generality of mankind do not believe in simple remedies for anything. The lawyer and the doctor are not to blame for taking advantage of the fools whose number, according to Solomon is infi nite. What-, however, we want to come to is that nobody believes in simple medicament more than the doctors themselves, and, when permitted, they are just as sparing of drugs to the pa tient as they are to themselves. We are reminded of this by observing that General Robert C. Schenck declares that he had been given up as incurable, some months ago, when suffering from Bright's disease of the kidneys, but had been cured by a diet of skimmed milk, which a physician recommended. In the same communication, we see it stated that nothing is better for typhoid fever than the use of milk. The rem edy is enforced by the following anec dote : Surgeon General Barnes, about three years ago, heard of an old allopathic physician in Virginia who, it is alleged, never failed to cure typhoid fever. As there were man}' patients in the United States army with the disease, General Barnes concluded to visit the ancient Virginia doctor and learn how he treat ed his typhoid patient. When he met the old gentleman, General Barnes in quired : “ Wiiat is the mode of treatment by which you succeed ?” “ Why,” replied the venerable physi cian, “ it’s the simplest thing in the world ; all you’ve got to do is to get the patient’s stomach and bowels in good order, and then fill them up with buttermilk and keep their stomachs filled with that alone. That’s all. I uever lose a patient if he isn’t already in a collapsed condition when I am called.” The Surgeon-General testifies that the buttermilk treatment was wonder fully efficacious in typhoid cases in the army, and the Washington correspond ent who furnishes these facts adds that “ some ten years ago the medical socie ties of France and Russia compared notes as to the use of plain sweet milk in the treatment of their hospital ty phoid patients, and concurred in their statement that milk not only is of wonderful efficacy in typhoid cases, but in the treatment of fever generally.” Voltaire by just such plain treatment arrested the decay of his stomach and lived many years afterward in excellent health and with a sound appetite. In a majority of cases, judicious dieting will cure many disorders, and we have no doubt that typhoid and other fevers can be arrested without bombarding the stomach with all kinds of pills and potions. —Augusta Chronicle. “HOUGH ON BATS.” Clears out rats, mice, roaches, flies, bed bugs, chipmunks, gophers. 15c. Druggists. It was dinner time in .* select board ing-house when the new boarder ar rived. He was a venerable-looking gentleman, with silvery hair, and Ins face beamed with a sweet repose be tokening a pure and holy life. As he joined the table the landlady said: “Would you ask a blessing?'’ The venerable stranger shouted. “ You'll have to talk louder, marin; I'm so 1 d—d deaf.” Weak muscles and nerves, sluggish ness of thought and inactivity cured by Brown's Iron Bitters. IMrk WinsliipN Duel. Speaking of Dick Winshlp recalls his famous duel with the Frenchman at Marseilles. Dick was then Second Lieutenant of our Scorpion, stationed there at the time, and as usual kept the whole fleet and half the town on net tles through his endless practical jokes. The slang expression for Frenchmen in those days was ** frog-eaters," and the wife of a French captain of military having presented her lord with twins, Dick had the “ nerve ” to tender the happy father, nt a public banquet, a stuffed group, consisting of a big frog holding on its knees a couple of smaller ones. Of course there was a challenge, ami when the captain’s seconds appear ed, Winship, as the challenged party, gravely insisted on the duel being fought in the dark, with pistols, one shot only being allowed to each man. This new addition to the co le made a terrible stir, but as Dick held firm, the Frenchman was finally forced to sub mit. On the appointed day, after din ner, the principals were placed, blind folded and pistol in hand, in a room at a hotel from which every particle of light had been excluded. At a given signal on thc closed door, the antagon ists removed their bandages to find themselves in absolute darkness, listen ing to the beating of their own hearts, and each afraid to fire first, for fear of thus exposing his location to thc other. Dick quietly took off his shoes, and feeling for the chimney—in front of which he had taken care to be placed— crept up the fine, descended through a trap-door in the roof, slipped into a carriage and rejoined his dinner party, which at once devoted itself to making a night of it, in the highest glee pos sible. The next morning they return ed to thc hotel and opened the room, which had been as silent as the grave all night. Kneeling in his corner, every muscle quivering with the un bearable suspense, was the militia cap tain, his auburn hair turned white by the horrors of that interminable night. —San Francisco Fast. A Gentle Horse. Eli Perkins writes: My wife, having been run away with once, is always afraid the horse is going to ruu away with her again. Yesterday when Har rington, who runs the Maplewood Hall stables, brought up a span, lie had to stand the usual questioning : “Now, are they very gentle ?” “O, certainly—kind as kittens.” “Hid they ever run away ?” “Never.” “Do you think they could run away V Harrington looked at the horses sadly and said : “Madame, to be frank with you, I don't think they could.” “Well, have they ever been fright ened ?” “No, never. Nothin’ could frighten ’em,” said Harrington.” “Has anything ever happened to them that would have frightened them if they had been skittish ?” continued my wife earnestly. # “Well, yes, ma’am; su thin’ did happen tuther day that, would have skeered ’em ef they’d been skittish.’ “What, Harrington - what ?” “Why, I was drivin’ along down the Woolscy hill; a storm came up, an’ six streaks of lightnin’ struck them horses right on the head and —" “Did they run ?” “No, ma'am ; they didn’t move; they jest stood still and pawed the ground for more lightnin’. They liked it. “An*, the next day,” continued Har rington, “A city feller was drivin this team, an’ he let a railroad train go right through ’em.” “Did it kill them ?” “No, but the city feller was all used j up. But you oughter a seen them bosses. They acted so-human like. Why, when they picked them out of the trees, they walked straight up to the city feller, took him by the seat of his pan taloons —” “Oh, my!" “Lifted him right back into the wagon again, and—” “My gracious me!” “And then they hitched themselves back onto the wagon and drove them selves home. Didn’t they, Mr. Kettelle.'' —New York Commercial Advertiser. Terms, SI.OO in Advance. Farmer Drown. " Good by, papa." The plump, white arms of Erica Brown were thrown about her father’s neck, and the pretty face with its riant mouth and cunning dimples was press ed closely to the bronzed cheek of the farmer as lie stood in the kitchen door way a moment before going out to his daily toil. “I am going to plow thc south mead ow this morning, my darling," lie said to the girl, “ and when noon comes you must have my accounts as treasurer of the church all arranged, because the building committee will be here after dinner, and I am to turn over the mon ey in my hands, so that the erection of the new church in the little dell just be yond where we buried that mouse col ored heifer two years ago last spring, can be commenced at once”—and, kissing his daughter again, Fanner Brown took a bite of hard tobacco and went away into the glad sunlight. ***** The petals of the June roses had fallen like a pink carpet along the edge of the woods, contrasting prettily with the vivid green of the grass and leaves. Above the hum of insects and the twit tering of the birds rose the sturdy voice of Farmer Brown, swearing at thc off inule. “Get up, darn it!” lie said. But the mule only waved its ears in a sensuous, languid lashion, and looked wistfully into the next meadow where the starry-eyed kine were grazing, and the old sorrel mare that had a splint on her near front leg was quailing the in cense of thc new-born day. Picking up a Hliort stick, the farmer advanced and struck the faithful mule a cruel blow just abaft his midship ribs. Stretching out his hind legs in adreamy listless way, the mule felt them touch something, and in a moment Farmer Brown was sailing in the far blue over head. The little church in the mossy dell is not completed yet, and the building committee is anxiously awaiting for the treasurer to come down. —- Soda for Kurus. All kinds of burns, including scalds and sunburns, are immediately relieved by the application of a solution of soda to the burnt surface. It must he re membered that dry soda will not do unless it is surrounded with a cloth moist enough to dissolve it. The method of sprinkling it on and covering with a wet cloth is often the best. But it is sufficient to wash the wounds repeatedly with a strong solution. It would he well to keep a bottle of it always on hand, made so strong that more or less settles in the bottom. This is what is called a saturated solution, and really such a solution as this is formed when the dry and a is sprinkled on and covered with a moistened cloth. It is thought by some that the pain of a burn is caused by the hardening of the albumen of the flesh, which presses on tlieiierves, and that thtsoda dissolves the albumen and relieves the pressure. Others think that the burn generates an acrid acid, which the soda neutral izes. Mr. Stephens oil Dr. Felton. Mr. Stephens was asked yesterday what lie thought of Dr. Felton's recent tirade against him. “ Dr. Felton is mad, I presume,” said the old commoner, “because I am the nominee of the democratic party. Nothing lias occurred but this to change his opinion of me that I know of since his flattering address issued at the last Markham house conference. Every thing 1 ever said to help Dr. Felton was done to help him as a democrat. When he leaves his party and joins j with the republican administration he will find as much in me to abuse as lie will in any good democrat in Georgia.” — Constitution. Mr. J O. Sanders who, it will be remembered, was advertised ns offering to bet sooo that Speer would be elected by two thousand majority, now says that the offer wa9 never made. An Athens gentleman was anxious to cower Mr- Sanders’ wager, and hence the explanation —Atlanta Constitution. A man in Macon county is married to bis seventh wife. WHOLE NO. m SNAKES AT A FUNERAL. Tlicj Woiirn for litml Won nn<l liiolat on ll|H|[ Hurled llilli Mini. A few days ago a young man, wlioac life had been devoted mainly to wiok edness and dissipation, died at his lintne near Blue Springs, James county, and his last days were attended with snob singular circumstances that wo deem them worthy of notice. Lying prostrate on his bed of sickness, he re* alized tlmt his days were fast drawing to a close, and that death would soon claim its own, so he summoned his mo ther and father to his bedside, and in bitter vindictives told them that ho would soon die—Hint he would be eternally damned, and that on their shoulders rested the awful sin. On the day of his death, a few hours before the ominous shadows gathered about his brow, the young man became a raving maniac and uncontrollable. He wildly battled with imaginary foes, telling those in the room that devils were after him, and in agonizing, heart rending tones prayed that tley be driven off. In this horrible condition ho died. Preparations were made for the funeral, and on the following day a Baptist minister was sent for to con duct the service. A sad little party of mourning friends followed the remains to their last resting place, and when they arrived at the new made grave, which was in a cluster of pines near the house, they witnessed a most strange proceeding, which sent terror thrilling to their hearts. A large heap of logs lay near the grave, and when the coffin was opened for a last view, out of this heap of logs emerged a large black snake, about six feet in length, followed by numerous smaller ones, all of them uttering a hissing, mournful sound. They came to the coffin, stood erect on their tails, and viewed the remains as complacently as would human beings. The spectators were so astounded by this turn of af fairs that they stood amazed with fear, but after a while regaining their pres ence of mind, they drove the snakes back into the log heap. The coffin was lowered iuto the grave, and theu the snakes reappeared and plunged into grave, taking refuge under and round the coffin. No effort was made to get them out, so they were covered up and buried witli the young man’s remains. This story was told us by a perfectly reliable gentleman, whose veracity can not be doubted, and w t) can attest that Tic was perfectly sober and serious when the incident was related. —Chattanooga Times. A Methodist Minister I'reaches in Favor of Dancing. A Methodist minister of Trenton, N. J., has recently preached a sermon iu favor of dancing. More than this, lie lias told the young people, and ; especial ly the young girls of the Methodist de nomination, that there is no harm in waltzing, and that they may waltz as much at they want to. At first sight it seems a rather startling sort of ser mon to come from a Methodist minis ter, inasmuch as the Methodist sect has repeatedly and loudly condemned dancing as a device of Satan, but it is not as startling as it seems. The min ister who preached the sermon in ques tion approves of waltzing only on the condition that young girls and young men waltz alone. With the step and movement of the waltz he has no fault to find, but lie sternly condemns the “ close proximity ” of waltzers who waltz according to the established cus tom# An KiiHnisiastic Brother. Apropos of the various camp meet ings now in progress, the story told of a certain meeting of this character among the colored people iu the South a few years ago, is not inappropriate. It was a Methodist camp, and one Sunday night, when a young white preacher was iu attendance, the sable worshipers seemed to be powerfully moved to nhouting and exhortation. The minister earnestly prayed that the power of the devil might be “curtailed.” Amen! bress de Lor’ for dat!” shouted an old darkey close by the altar. “Oh, yes, Lor’! cut him tail smoove, smack off!” “See, mamma!” exclaimed a little child, as puss, with arching spine and elevated rudder, strutted around tho table, “see, kitty’s eaten so much sho can’t shut her tail down !” The Waynesboro True Citizen baa been shown an car of corn which was 12 inches long, weighed pounds, had 22 rows, 42 grains to the row, and a total of 1)24 grains. St. Johns county, Fla., pays a pre mium for wild-cat scalps.