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OOtrWTY 0 * ❖ $ a M '■> ❖ •MMU \ T 2s “Onr Ambition is to make a Yeracions Wort, Reliable in its ? -: Statements, Candid in its Conclusions, and Jnst in Us Views." YOL. I. 4n statistics prove that each inhabit of the United States consumes one per day. This makes necessary the | r manufacture of sixty millions of ’he tigers were a little behind in India i year; ono thousand four hundred 3 sixty-four of them were killed by Qters, and they killed only about one msand persons. .? [statistics [it of the peanut trade show Lber those who are fond of the humble Etity paid $10,000,000 last year to their fondness. Altogether about JOO.OOO bags of the nuts were pro iced, of which the greater portion me from Tennessee. |A report just made by Pension Com lissioncr Black shows that, excluding le eighty-two counties from which no jatistics Ital have been received, the grand of Union soldiers supported in [overmnent and private charitable in litutions was in October, 1887, 35,953. [f this number, 15,153 wore in soldiers’ tomes, while 21,801 were in State and to’.mty institutions or supported by haritable aid in towns. I The German Army Commander reeent h-attempted a “minor mobilization” ex periment near Metz. The railroad station Luster received at 1 o’clock au order to prepare coffee for 2,800 men at 4, and a Binnerfor the same number at 0:30. At I o’clock 2,800 men came in, had their coffee, and took the train for another station, and at 0:30 the next 2,800 promptly appeared, dined and went to (he next station, where they had coffee, ind both parties returned to their quar ters the next morning. The attempt was lighly successful. [ ICooper, The history Cornell, of such millionaires as Peabody and tho late |AY. W. Corcoran shows that it is possible for rich men to be public-spirited and I generous without impoverishing them selves. Mr. Corcoran gave away $5,000, - 000, and continued to make money until the last. If he hud been mtSbrTy and grasping, says the Commercial Advertiser, he might have died a poor man. As it was, everybody loved him. Good men were ready to back him in any enterprise, and furnish him with any amount of money, if he needed it. Texas is a large State, and it does things on a large scale, says the New York Observer. Its new State Capitol is a magnificent structure, looming up four feet above the Capitol at Washing ton. It has not cost the State a cent of money either, and that is where it differs frem the Capitol at Albany. A syndi cate was given 3,000,000 aere3 of public lands to build it, not a very larg amount, considering that Texas has about one hundred and seventy millions of acres left. The State has a balance in its Treasury, too, of about •>';),000,000 in cash and securities. Commodore SamuH Barron, of the late Confederate States Navy, who died at his home in Virginia not long ago, may be sakl to have been born in the United States Navy, for at the early age of three years he was appointed a Midshipman by the Secretary of the Navy. This ap pointment is the only one of the kind ever made in the United States Navy. At the age of eight years he made his first cruise, being ordered to the Medi terranean Station; and from that time on until the breaking out of the late war he served almost continuously, and rose to the rank of Post Captain. “The area of dry land in Holland is a million acres greater now than it was in the ' +„ ,, - ’ ' energetic . works of reclamation which have long been proceeding,” says the St. James's Gazette. “It is computed that eight acres of land are ^ daily / re I e<l 7 to cultivation m the wonderful , little country which has fought so sturdy a fight against the ocean. For forty years past, Dutch engineers f. have been P posing ,, the reclamation , of . the .. Zuyder _ , Zee—a greater work by far even than the draining of the lake of Harlem, which occupied twelve vears. The Zuyder Zee was se^t formed in lasahv fa an Y invasion of the • sea, which n engulied seventy-two f villages. „ The matter is now being taken up very energetically throu"hout the country, snr) *nd several organizations . ,. have , , been „ termed to collect funds for defraying the cost of the preliminary surveys. It is (Proposed to separate the Zee from the tpcean □ outside ouisiue bv Dy means means of oi dvkes avaesoi^reat of irreat ' rengtn, and then to pump out the r ater—obviously a long and costly deration. That this colossal work of fffamatiou is practicable there can h*dly be a doubt. The effort is worth s o*e sacrifice; for if it be successful, it w dadd a new province to the kingdom of lolland.” GRAY, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, MAY 12, 1888- STORM AND CALM. All day the angry soutliwind roaring past,, With warm, tumultuous showers of fitful rain, Rattled upon my streaming window pane, And through the autumn woodlands driving fast. Stripped off and whirled into the air the last Few wthered leaves. On the wide misty plain The bell, the whistle and the rumbling train Were silenced in the thunder of the blast, bow all is still. A fow faint wandering sighs Alone. The patient trees, though robbed and thorn, Lift their bare arms and greet the sunset light S!,ires aml windon ’ s ’ whil « th ” Glow with i.v. the promise of a starlitnight, And the calm sunrise of a radiant morn, —C. P. Cranch, in Scribner. SUSY’S BLUE GINGHAM. The House Committee ou Ways and Means was in session The house be longed in to John Van Yechten, and stood, its old-fashioned whiteness, with its gabie end to the road. In front of the wing was what John always called a “stoop, ” perhaps the only reminiscence of his faraway Dutch ancestry. The stoop was the (ommittee-room, and the committee consi-ted of John, his wife and the r sister Anna. H was early June, and nine o’clock of a discussing bright moonlight night, and they were whether or not Susy should go to the seashore for two months. Anna fiad brought the question with her from her school in town. “As I told you,” she now said. “Superintendent l elton had invited the Governor to visit the school that day, and, of course, we were nil in aflutter. That is, inside. Out side, the school was iu beautiful order, Miss Forsyth, my assistant, knows Gov ernor Fairfax very well. She was a fr ond of his wife’s before she died, several years ago. Iu fact, she is to go to little Spruce girl, Beach this summer with his would to mother, you know. She give Sue the best of care.” “If I could see her," began Mrs. Van Yeehten, doubtfully. “I can arrange that. I know Miss Forsyth would bring Alice Fairfax here.” “But how did he know you were any relation ?” " “That to Susy came about very naturally, Miss Forsyth introduced me as Miss Van yefflfften,' anil Mr? Fairfax remarked that lie met a little girl named Van Vechten under rather peculiar circumstances last summer. lie told me a little of the story, and I knew the heroine must be our Susy, for I had heard something of the same sort before. And iu a few days Miss Forsyth told me about this plan, I do hope you will let Sue go!” “But. we don’t know Governor Fair fax, Anna.” “.Neither do I—much.” Aunt Anna’s face blushed^and changed iu the moon light, and an inward protest went with her words. “But I do know Miss For syth, and Susy couldn’t possibly be in better hands for two months.” “And make next summer without any seashore harder than this summer with it!” bright-eyed “No, indeed, it will not!” The little woman spoke posi tivcly. that “Our little girl is not made of kind of stuff. Widen a life once, and it stays wider, and so can take in more, wherever it is.” Mrs. Van Vechten’s face looked puz zled, but not ill-pleased. “Bhe hasn’t anything to wear, Anna.” “I never expected to live long iny enough to hear you say that I It does monplace sou! good! But, seriously, I’ll take care of that, if you will let me. fact.it is already taken care of. Tell me I may tell lier to-morrow, Mary.” “I suppose you may,” answered the mother, doubtfully, as her sister lighted a night-lamp. .‘■hill in “We have our summer a light house yet, mother, said John, cheerily, after Anna had gone upstairs. That is, if I can find a lighthouse to let.” Mr. Van Vechten was not a typical American farmer. IDs nose wasnot un familiar witli the smell of new books. He really liked the outside of the kitchen best for his wife, and the outside of the house better still. To that end she was never “the infernal without a deputy in what it he called his regions,” if the were capital in power to obtain one; but was not quite in proportion Maine, to the which number their of acres, so the coast of Western souls longed for, was, as yet, an impossible luxury. the Aunt Anna sat on stoop next morn ing, with a pieee of dainty work, when a little girl on horseback, wearing a rather short long-skirt of dark blue, dashed up to the gate, and round to the barn, from which she presently came with a parcel. “You’ve never toid me the story of how you came bv your pony, Sue.” “Ila en’t I? Butyou know?” “Yes, in a sort of way, but not very well. Tell meal! about it after vou take ' off your habit.” “All i ght!” called the little girl, al- , ready disappearing within the door-ay. “If mother doesn’t want me I will.” “To begin with, Aunt Anna, I just hate blue ginghams! Sometimes I feel like a whop charity school. If mother W outd only ,et me have calico, then this summer’s dresses wouldn’t be just ex actly like last summer’s. Well, it was last Fourth of July; Torch o’ Duly,' cal! s it. -ff went over to Kate Stevens’s in the , morning, and she had the beaufcifulest white dress onIt was just full of trim ming. ruffles and tucks and emboidery, and she had a Homan sash, and bangs, it was mean, wasn’t it? She waited till the night before, after school, so the girls wouldn't know, and then had her hair banged so she'd look her best. “Don’t you tbinka dress is prettier the more trimming there is on it? Well, I I do, had and Kate’s was lovely! gingham,but You see, 1 hadn't on my everlasting word blue it. The leaves danced thought a about and the about so, sun shone so bright, and I had been so busy cracking my torpedoes,that I just hadn’t time to think whether I looked well enough to go to the Fourth. these steps! “You ought to have seen I wished I hadn’t cracked so many when mother made me sweep them up, and Danny kept throwing on the clean spots just as fast as I swept. the lunch. We “Mamma had put up had ham sandwiches. I helped chop the ham, because the knife was sharp; if it had been dull,I wouldn’t have wanted to. And jelly cake, and hard boiled eggs, and cold coffee in a jug, with the cream and sugar all iu. Mother lets me have that Christmas and Thanksgiving and Fourth of July and such days. And ginger-snaps. morning had watched the “That we man go past with the cans of water and the ice for the lemonade, and another man with his load all done up in blankets. That was the ice cream, you know. They do me up in blankets in winter to keep me warm* and the ice cream in summer to keep it cool. I don’t see why, do you?” that “1 I had earned twenty-five cents to spend, yard. too, myself raking the Danny can’t, he’s so little. Well, I couldn’t keep still till it was time to start, so I asked mother if I couldn’t go down to Kate Stevens’s, and they could take me in when they went by. Kate Stevens’s houses is that big one you can see down the road. “When I got there, Kate said: ‘Why, Fourth Susy Van in Yechten, are gingham? you going I’ve to the your blue got a new dress.’ “That spoiled my good time all in a minute, and my throat got a big lump in it. Queer, isn t it? Does your throat choke up when you want to cry, Aunt Anna? I don’t see where the choke comes from. But 1 didn’t want her to know I felt badly, so I answered right off: all, “‘I’m not going to the Fourth at and that is why I’ve got on my blue ging gam.’ “And it true, for I wasn’t. I had was just made up my mind. Mother said afterward that it was not quite true, for I had it wrong end foremost. I couldn't go with that choke in my throat. Well, I stayed around till our folks came, and then went out quick and told mother that I did not want to go to the picnic, I’d and if she’d please give me the key, go,back /‘Mother home. Jopked astonished for minute, but Kate Stevens came out, and called her to see her new dress, and then I think she knew, for she did not look She suprised any the more, key, but only sorry. gave me and told me that there was some of all there was in the basket left at dinner. home, and that I could have it for my had “Then book she whispered birthday, to me and that that she it a for my was under the sheets in the lower bureau drawer. I did not care one speck for the book. I was thinking so much about Kate’s new dress; but i went and found the first minute 1 got home, and then I forgot all about everything. much!'’ I tell you my mother knows so “It was all about those old Greeks _ an d Homans. That’s why I called my pony Pegasus. 1 named.him first ‘The Flying Horse of the Prairie,’but now 1 call him‘Peg’for and short. and thought “I read on on, never of the P icnic . * mt 1 was do hungry by eleven o’clock. there’s I always something get good hungry quicker don’t when Mother won’t let to eat; you? but had me bring a book to the table, I a good time 'andwiches that day,for and I just rocked and ate "W read about Achilles. “When I was a little girl I used to wonder whether I would rather marry a nuiu who kept & cftndy store, or ouewho kept a book store. 1 couldn’t make m y mind. Which would you? And I thought if I could only find one with a little confectioner’s shop back of the books, I wouid be perfectly happy, but I’m not so silly now. “Pretty soon I happened to look up, and I saw a blue smoke over the corner °f -'*[■ Stevens’s corn barn. And 1 of tire-crackers, and the city of Portland, where Prudy Partin’* house was burned up, and I knew .Jim Stevens had his out there that morning. ‘‘Then Iran! The woodshed was just _ blazing, and the kitchen had caught a on one corner. Arid then I thought of Davy Stevens! “Who is that < You have not said anything about him before, asked Aunt Anna. “Oh, it’s their lame boy. He can’t walk a step—not one step. At least he couldn’t;he’sgettingbetter now. called as quick as I opened the kitchen door,he out that he was so glad I’d come, and what was that dreadful smoke? And there he was lying on his cot by the kitchen window, and just down choking. “He told me to run the road and get some men,but I said I had to get himout first; and he thought I couldn’t, and I did not know as I could, but I knew that kitchen would burn before I could go to the grove and get back again. “I began to push the cot, but . it was too shaky, wheeled and I thought of the wheel barrow. 1 it in and put it right at the end of the bed. ft was one of this kind like a cradle, sidewise, you know, I laid straight a pillow in it, and then just pulled him on. J suppose it almost killed his him. hands, He though helped himself a little with ” “f wonder how you dared try it, Sue, said Aunt Anna, quietly, but with sparkle in her eye. “Dare! I didn’t dare, I was as afraid as f could be. But there wasn’t au v thing ehse to do, auntie. It was a wide door, but I hurt his foot dreadfully get ting looked him through, with his and he fainted. How he head hanging down on one side and his feet on the other' I just put him on the other side of the wind, so the smoke wouldn’t choke him, and ran down the road as fast as I could go. Aunt Anna, I was never so hot in my life! “When I got there, there was a man speaking and throwing his arms about, In a minute I saw Mr. Stevens on the end of a bench. So I told him as still as I could that his house was on lire. But he just shouted and rushed for his horses, and everybody Stevens followed him. “Mrs. said something real quick about Davy, and ran too. The man that Anna, was who speaking do came down, it and Aunt you think was? “The governor! “I thought with ho would be dreadfully angry me for making such a dis turbauce in his meeting, but he wasn’t, and got in father's wagon and rode with us down to Mr. Stevens's. When we got there, there was a whole line of men from the well to the house, and they were pumping another water just and handing pails from one to as fast as they could. But there wasn’t much left of the kitchen.” “Where was Davy?” asked Annt Anna. “oh, dear me! He was on a bed they had brought him around out, npd and the talking doctor about was pulling ‘the shock to the system.’ He not was faint any more and lie smiled a little weak kind of smile, and said I’d given him a ride for the Fourth of Julv. Stevens “By-and-by the and fpe shook was out, hands and with Mr. came me, and the Governor stood up in a wagon and said he would make them a little ‘supplementary,’Aunt supplementry speech. Anna? What is I’ve just remembered that word. And he said maybe they didn’t all know why the whole house wasn’t burned down, and Davy in it. And then he told them.” “Toid them what?” “Why—about—what ashamed! And I did, you then know', Mr. I was so Stevens lifted me into the wagon, and the crowd cheered.” “What did you think about, Susy?” “Well, Aunt Anna, I was a little afraid that my face was dust; dirty, running so fast in all that and I was— it’s silly, I know, but I was—I mean I didn’t, exactly like to stand up there with that blue gingham on. And father asked him home to supper. Just think! the Governor and he talked with mamma ever “Well, so long. dear, That’s all, story auntie.” is rather the my your like old saying about ‘the play of Hamlst, with the part of Hamlet omit fed, by special request.’” “ ,vhyV asked Busy, wondcringly. “f haven’t heard anything about the pony.” haven’t. About two weeks “go y 0 u after Air. Stevens came over one morn j r ,g with him. He had a beautiful side saddle on and Mr. Stevens said he was Davy's present to me. He didn’t bring him" over right away, he explained, be ca use he wanted to have him broken ‘to the feel of skirts.’ Don’t you think that's, a funny way to say it? Father didn’t want me to keep him at first, but j dra beg so hard, and now he is my lovely, “And lovely Peg!” how is Davy?” “That’s the strangest part of it! He's really getting better. He lias even walked two or three steps lately.” said “I have a letter for you, Busy," Aunt Anna, taking it out of her pocket. It was a large, square, white envelope which Susy opened in a flutter and read breathlessly. Fairfax?" and “Who is Charley could W. before Aunt Anna answer, “‘My obedient servant,’ how queer! What does that mean? Oh, will mother let me “Mr. go?” Fairfax is Governor, Susy, your ho rather and I suppose from his letter is an old-fashioned gentlemen—but all that means the most perfect of gentle men,” replied Aunt Anna, with a bright look. “But will mother"— “Yes, mother will, Dame Durden, or I should never have told you. And I’ve brought you some dresses and things, Come up to my room.” “You are "better than a fairy god mother, Aunt Anna!” exclaimed Busy, as she sprang up the stairs, three steps at a time. Nothing had ever seemed so full of interest to her before as the outside of Aunt Anna s sole-leather trunk. “O Aunt Anna! If I’m to go, how I -would like a trunk like yours!” “You may take this one if you like. And here's your bag.” but Susy did It was real ailigator-skin, „ot know that. She did not say a word, Put sank down on the floor with along B igh c f content. “Don’t you want to see your dresses?” “Dresses! Oh! I haven’t got as far as dresses, Aunt Anna.” But Miss and Van unfold—a Vechten proceeded grayish-blue to take out seersucker trimmed with embroidery of its own shade, a soft, leaf-brown with wool, of dainty fineness, checked off with just one line lights of the laid same fady blue, the shadows; and silken into all and la-tly, a white lawn, sheer and beautiful, with enough lace about it to soften “Thore, all the dear, edges. which will try you on first?” question Aunt Anna by taking began to answer the brown. her own She talking. up went on “You see, Miss Forsyth had the buy ing of Alkie Fairfax’s dresses for the summer, and she got three for her very similar to these.” Wise Aunt Anna! She had been a little girl herself dressed on not too abundant means. “Of course, we did not get things alike,” Aunt Anna went on, “ but they are of the -ame kind after all.” If Sue had been drawn by wild horses she would not have aaked what Alice Fairfax was going to wear that summer, but she wanted to know, and her aunt, like a how loving much little she woman as she was, knew just wanted to know. I do not know the seashore story. To tell the truth, 1 am acquainted with the sands, the sunshine, and tire umbrellas, only through the hearsay of verse and novel. But 1 know that the lion, Charles Fairfax brought Susy home himself. Miss Forsyth, he said, had an engagement to meet before the school year opened. ho did be in hurry Having come, not again. seem to Two a about going away days he loitered about under the.trees with Aunt Anna, while Susy’s fashion, busy mother, glancing out in amused began remarked to her husband that she to suspect that there w as a method in His Excellency's madness One brilliant morning in the following June, a group of people under the trees at Mr. Van Yechten’s crystallized around two who were standing before the min ister. Susy and Al ice Fairfax stood beside them. Susy’s white dress, bridcs maid gear though it was, could, even now, hardly rival Kate Stevens’s in the manner of tucks avid ruffles. But her eyes had grown clearer with two whole years of open vision, and her mother’s sense of the fitness of things had began to dawn in her own brain, When the last words of the ceremony died on the, air, the congratulations hung fire a little, till Davy Stevens, slowly and painfully rising, began to take the few steps that separated him from the rushed newly made husband and him, wife, and Busy forward to help Gov. Fairfax, stooping a little as he warmly shook hands with the boy, re marked,: “But for this young man, Anna, I might never churlas!” have known gasped you.” “Oh, Uncle Susy and stumbled over the name, but got; it out bravely , “if it hadn’t been for mother’s.making me wear that acquainted, blue ging ham you wouldn’t ever got I am sure.” “I think, Sue,” laughed Aunt A nna, “that it was because your mother didn't make you wear the blue gingham to the Fourth ot July that it all happened."— Frances Vole. Peculiarities of Some Strange Fish. “What, an odd fish!” An old member of tho New Yorl Maritime Exchange was exhibiting in a bottle one of the queerest submarine monsters that the fancy could paint. It apparently had no beginning and noend ing. One could hardly tell where its outlines left off, and the alcohol in which it jelly. was preserved began, It was like “It must “that be remembered,” the depth explained the owner, at of 1,000 fathoms the pressure Upon a fish or any other body is equal to a ton to a square inch. These flabby looking Ashes, that can bo tied in a knot at the surface, at such depths are firm-bodied and vigor ous. When these depths, fish, adapted by organiza- (he tion to are brought to surface frequently their bodies are rup tured, their viscera protrude, their eves start out and they present the appearance of having suffered a frightful death, When the fish ascends the pressure upon its body becomes less and less, the gases in its body begin to expand, and the cx pansion causes the demoralized appear ance of the fish. If the fish could be popped out of (lie sea in an instant, it would when it probably reached the explode surface. with a bang “Just look at its jaws,” continued the exhibitor. “When the fish are brought to the surface most of them appear to bo soft, pulpy masse? The bones and muscles appear to thin, be feebly and developed, easilg The tisses seem weak ruptured. These conditions, implyiny muscular with weakness, the powerful are apparently shape in- of consistent the jaws and the rapacious looking teeth of some of the predacious fishes.” “How do they live?” “That is hard to say. To the absence of light is due many of the rau-t won derful pcculiiintics of tlie deep sen fish. Borne of them arc totally blind, having no eyes at all or mere rudimentary eyes, Others collect have huge eyes, light so organized possible, as to as many rays as Sunlight, it is said, fathoms. does not If penetrate is to a depth of 200 there any light, there at ail it is the merest glimmer, darkness. and below this depth there is absolute “Now these deep sea fishes sunlight, being cut of off altogether furnish from their the light. many They them own have no organized gas light—carries companies, but each furnishes his own a lantern or torch around will) him. They have oigans and shed that light emit a their phosphorescent path. Home gleam of them little torches on iu the form carry of tentacles that rise from the tops of their heads. Many of them have regu lar symmetrical rows of luminous spots on their sides .”—New York Mail and Fx press. Big Carolina Pine Trees, In a private letter to a gentleman in ^ ^ tin from Col John I) Whit ford ther0 is account of some forest giants ioif.iv measured in Greene and Wilson (j 0U ntics on Contentnea Creek. One T ,j ne tree measures 22 feet in circumfer am j WO uld rimkea stick of timber solid heart, « feet square and :r. feet «,f , on „ or s traight-edge plank pine C feet wide 86 feet long. Another mew ur(;() |8 {l ,,, t ju circumference and 10 ) to were' the first branch Some make'a whi'e oaks measured and would ■ k w™ ., r „i <;p making^hin i„ u , r a * felled for | (;s , n ,. a sured 41 feet in diameter and I) j n length. These immense trees ar e found abundantly command in that section and wi » « 0 me day a good price. Il/JAah New.-. ______ " A St. Loins . that March . man says is the lucky month for the birth of great statesmen, and instances in support of hris statement the fact that many of the Presidents of the t rnted States and the sovereigns >f Europe were bom in that month. NO. 27. DM OTHER’S COTTAGE DOOR. In the fair, fresh mornings years ago, When the world was good to see, When earth seemed a little heaven below. And youth was a joy to me; When friomls were real and love was tnu And life was sweet to the core, What beautiful morning glories grow At grandmother’s cottage door! I can smell the fragrance of roses rod, And of mint ns tbo soft winds pass, While the dew like a web of jewels is spread All over the crowding grass. The pin): sends love in her fragrant way, And the robins chirp as of yore, When the morning glories in rich array Clnng cdose to the cottage door. The cottage was old mul small and quaint, A picture without and within; The coating of ago was its only pamt, And moss hid its shingles'.thin; Its windows twinkled under the eaves, With the laughter of fight they wore, And the morning glories with dancing loaves Laughed back from the cottage door. And grandmother, too, liko her house was old, But the burdens of love and care Had changed tho dress of her life to gold, Until she was angel fair; like tho glorios, her heart, at tho morning hour, Unclosed to the sad and tho poor, She was symbol and _quoen of tho daint flower That grew at her cottage door Oh! many and many a year, the sod I Has greened over grandmother’s grays; She went like a little child to God— Her soul was so pure ami brave; But I know though heaven's gardens lie fai' to view She remembers tho days of yore, And the morning glories she loved that grow Round tho dear old cottage door. —Atary A. Dennison, ta New York Graphic. PITH AND POINT. innovation—A hotel seranndc. * An A cheap garment—A coat of white wash. Joe Cook says he would rather live among Sioux than in Sioux city, llo can be euBily Siouxted.— Graphic. , A poet wants to know “where the fleecy clouds are woven.” In the airloom, of course .—Burlington Free Press. Wc regret to learn that the AVe Chicago have Anarchists have disbanded. always thought they should hang to gether. —Philadelphia Press. Many a man goes down under the slings and arrows of im outrageous for tune, because if hit by one of the arrows he tills upwith the slings.— Picayune, Tho candidate’s boomlet uow hutgingly boometb. beggarly bee; And bashfullv Imzzoth tbo In the bulge of Ids bonnet it busily bummeth A song like tho sob of the sad sounding sea. With microbes in the drinking malaria water, in tyrotoxicon in ice cream, water melons, Bright’s disease in beer and paralysis in iced tea, wherewithal may the thirsty soul refresh itself? After a midnight lunch of mince pie, a citizen complained of horrid dreams, in which he was chased by pirates. “Mince pirates, probably,” calmly sug gested his wife.— Youth’s Companion , Mr. Waldo—“So you don’t care for poetry, Miss Breezy?” Miss Breezy— “No; I acquired a great distaste for it in early life.” -Mr. Waldo—“Indeed! IIow so?” Miss Breezy—“Parsing York Sun. Mil ton’s ‘Paradise Lost .’”—New Before the wedding day he vows and protests that his dearest care will be her happiness, and that there is no sacrifice too great for him to make to secure her comfort. Three months after they are married she lias to tack the blankets to tho side of the bed to keep him from roll ing himself up in all the clothes .—New York Mercury. Teacher (in loud toues)—“What is your name?” Boy tin a week voice)— “Johnny Wells, sir.” “How old are you, John Wells?” “Twelve years old, sir.” “Now, John, tell mo who made this grand and glorious universe?” “Don't know, sir.” “What, twelve years old and don’t know who made this noble sphere! James Smith go and cut me a whip." The birch is brought and hold over the trembling boy. In thunder tones the rigid disciplinarian who made demanded: this great “Now, tell mo in?” In tearful voice world we live a Johnny answered, “I did, sir, but I won’t do it again.” . ihnndnnen of Some forms which human eccentricity takes are decidedly amusing and instruc t've, too. It is somewhat rare, however. lo * md mental eccentricity combined with and wedded to physical infirmity. There is an old gentleman in this city, who, at the age good of seventy-five, eyesight, which rejoices jn remarkably is, however, subject to the weakness of age. It is peculiar that, although ho cau see clearly enough kind to of read artificial his newspaper aid in th* without any early morning, as the day wears on he needs increasingly stronger assistance from his glasses. Instead, however, of having a properly satisfied graded series with of Imses, he is at 8 a. m. none,, at 10 a. m. with a pairof pin cenez, at noon a second pair placed m front of these, at 2 p. in. a third pair arc fixed on the nose and held by long arms over the ears, at 4 p. in. another pair are added and held in place by a ribbon sur rounding the head, and when the gas is lighted the old gentlman quietly holds itm ,ther pairof “nippers" glance before the the “latest rest to enable him to over quotations” in the evening papers.- Nm York Press,