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VOL. I
Forever Young.
The wild world hastens ou its way;
The gray-haired century nears its close;
Its sorrow deepens day by day;
The summer blush forsakes the rose.
But, darling, while your voice I hear,
And while your dark brown eyes I see,
Bad months and sunless seasons drear
Are all the same, all glad to me.
Despair can never reach me,
While your soft hand I hold;
While your eyes love and teach me
I never shall grow old.
They say that love forsakes the old,
That passion pales and fades awav;
That even love’s bright locks of gold
Must lose their charms and change to gray.
But, darling, while your heart is mine,
And while I feel that you are true,
Forme the skies will ever shine
With summer light and tenderest blue.
Yes, let old age deride me!
I scorn his mocking trngue;
Dear love, with you beside me,
I am forever young. —Belgravia.
Whan Romance Was Over.
Miss Dora Dwight, on her thirtieth
birthday, receive! the first Iovc-lotter
ef her life—the first offer of marriago.
It war handed into tho dormitory of
the “PUysiciaas’Orpha n’ Home’'—not,
as may be suppose.!, a home for the or¬
phans doctor! lnvj mile, but for the
children of decease! medical men.
Miss Dwight wa! matron there, and at
the moment was changing the pillow¬
cases before the wash.
“I suppose it’s about Johnny Gilroy
and his swelled knee,” said the servant.
“DoctorEmory seems to think itwuss.”
Miss Dwight, however, waited until
the girl was gone before she opened the
note. Then, not greatly to her sur¬
prise, she read tlie words:
“My Dear Doha: You have known
me since you were a baby, Do you
liko me well enough to marry me? Of
course, you and I have given up ro¬
mance long ago. I have had two
wives. You must be thirty-two or
three.” [“Just thirty,” said Dora to
herself; “he is sixty-nine.’’] “You
will greatly improve your position by
marrying me, and I always liked you.
Please meet me in the garden after
hours. 1 hope to find you under the
willows. Yours, hopefully. Emoisy.”
“B.
It was not a love-letter calculated to
flatter the heart of a woman of any age.
At first she said: “I wi.l refuse him."
Then she remembered how good and
kindly he was. “I will accept him,”
said she, “hut no romance shad be in
my talk with him. He shall fin l me
like a stone. lie shall have the sort of
wife he wants.”
It was early when the door-bell
claugel, aud a foot crossed the long
passage, aud ceasing to echo on the
painted floor, struck the stone!. E lrlier
than she had expected him, but she was
ready for him uuder the willows in the
garden.
“I am glad to find you here,” said a
deep, old voice. “I thought you would
be sensible enough to do what 1 asked,
but I was not quite sure—not quite.
No. You have read my note carefully?
Yes? Well, imagine tbat I say to you
again what I wrote. I await your an¬
swer with anxiety.”
She looked at him, and he saw that
she smiled in aa odd, embarrassed way.
“Will you mirry me, my dear?” lie
added. “I sec I must make it easier
for you to speak.”
‘ It was a little hard to begin,” she
said.
“The usual reason moves me," he
said. “I'm in love with you. I think
it best to marry again, and I know no
one liko you—uo one. I’ve had two
wives before, I admit. However,
neither of them complained of me, 1
bolievc. I have a very nice home, and,
really, it will be a very much better po-
sition for you than being matron of an
institution. You do it admirably, bat
I hate to see you here. Your father
was older than I, but we were great
friends. I think he would advise you
to say ‘yes. 11 j
She put her hand upon his arm.
“Iam a practical woman,” she said.
“If I marry you, I forfeit a good posi¬
tion that may be mine for life—an in¬
dependent position. It is dangerous.”
“My dear, you’ll have half of all
that is mine; and I’m not poor.’’
“You don’t think me young, I
know,” she answered. “Who thinks a
woman young at thirty? Bat you have
four sons, hard, business men, older
than I. They’ll not approve of the
match.”
“They arc not at horns; it can't mat-
ter," said Dr. Emory.
“But,” said Miss Dwight, with cruel
distinctness, “the trouble will come
when you die. You have made a mis-
take; you arc older than poor father.
If you leave me a widow', your sons
will make every effovt to take every-
thing from me; I shad be_ left with
nothing, my place gone, my habits of
industry, my briskness. I make no
doubt you have heard of such cas?i; 1
have.”
The suitor sat—and who can mat e-,
at it?—stricken quite dumb by thi
speech. At last he gasped:
“You are candid.”
Eh Eh T n m
•‘Iam,”*ho answered—“I am. in¬
deed. Now is your time. You can
take back your offer, Dr. Emory.
Everything can be ns it was before.
I’ll tear up your letter; I am content
that all shall shall remain as it is.”
“But, then,” he answered, “I am
not. After all, nil you say is only true.
I can face the miuiO, I hope. My an¬
swer is this: Marry me, and I will
mnko a will, leavtug you everything, on
our wedding day.” unjust/^shc
“That would be said.
“It would be a will to be contested.
Leave mo a home and an income.” She
named the sum sufficient to keep it
up.
“That is moderate—sensible. And
you will say ‘yes, i a be said. “i
promise, of course, I shall make it
better than that, still leaving my sons
no cause for complaint; but it is not
iny fault that wo are not more ro¬
mantic.”
“Let the romance come afterward, if
it can,’’ said Miss Dwight.
After this, they walked about tho
garden awhile, and tho day of the
wedding was set, leaving tima to find a
new matron for the establishment. Miss
Dwight was certainly, as domestics say,
“bettering herself;” but she was not
elated.
In fact, a little regret stole into her
heart as she walked about the place
where she had beca so independent, so
respectod; and wondered whether she
would he happy in the future.
“At least,” she said, with a degree of
bitterness, “I matched him with his
‘romance is out of the question between
(wo like us.’ Matched him and went
further. ”
The bell tinkled in the hall just as
supper time was over that evening, nud
in a few moment! a servant came to call
Miss Dwight.
“It’s a gentleman; he don’t know
who he wants,” she said, “Some one
who knows all about the place, he told
me.”
Ami Dora went into the parlor, a
bare looking room, long, and with
white walls, a panel carpet, a library
table, a horsehair sofa and six chairs,
and the portrait of the founder of tho
home over the mantel-piece, There
stood under this portrait, with his el¬
bow on the mirble itself, a gentleman.
Dirk-eyed, dark-haired, with a face
that was not so much handsome as de-
lightful.
Writers often spend a good deal of
time in discussing what it is that men
see in the women whom they fall in
love with—when they say :
“This is the woman for me!”
I believe the woman who meets for
the first time the only man on earth to
whom she would willingly give herself,
has deeper experiences still.
The moment had come to Miss
Dwiglit. She had waited 30 years for
it, and now she did not know what it
meant. But an unconscious smile came
to her lips, a light to her soft blue eyes,
a flush to her smooth cheek. She
looked prettier than she could have
dreamed possible of at that moment.
The stranger told his business. lie
had recently come from Paris, where he
had been occupied in certain affairs for
10 years. Meanwhile, his brother had
died, having recently lost his wife. He
understood, to his astonishment, that
his little nephews were in the Homo.
“Of course, I wish to take charge of
them,” he said. “I am a bachelor,
but I can arrange for their care. They
need not live on charity.”
“It is not charity, ” said Miss
Dwight, “Dr. Ellwood gave largely
to the home in his lifetime. The chil-
dreu are considered little ladies and
gentlemen. They are well educated;
taught the muages of good society.
They wilt have a col egiate course when
they leave this place. Most of the
girls bee mac teachers, I think. Tho
boys choose tlicir p:ofe3sion. There
would be at least no need of haste in
removing them.”
They talked together awhile. She
gathered that he was what might be
called a poor man.
He lingered after the boys had come
and gone. He came on the morrow,
and again and a ;ain. The ostensible
motive was to see his nephews, but he
also desired to see Miss Dwight.
Meanwhile Dr. Emory called every
afternoon and consulted with Dara as
to the new parlor carpet aud the china,
“Buy good things,” she said. “What
W the use of getting a carpet that will
fade soon, or china that chips; and s.l-
j ver makes a table look well. “Bssides,
j the things about a house belong to the
| widow—if I should be left.”
t i She is deuced practical, said poor
Dr. Emory to himself,
Til is was after (A^e new matron ar-
rived and was bey drilled in her du-
j ties by MUs Dwi| who calmly said
before everyone;',.,^ be married shortly.’’
1 'You see I’m to
Oace he even remonstrated, saying:
“Da you know, poor Nellie
nlked like that; nor my dear Maria. ”
“Of course not, ” said Miss Dwight,
CARNESV1LLE, GA., MONDAY, FEBRUARY & 1890.
•*But ycu remarked in your offer to me
(of course) you and I had dona
romance long ago.’’
Dr. Emory tried to laugh, but he was
happy.
That afternoon he took a long, long
rido to the sea shore, and stabling his
horse at the hotel walked down to the
beach. “The season” was over, The
caterers expected only a little chance
custom. It was a day when driving
clouds made it cool enough to be pleas¬
ant. There ho sat down behind a big
mound of sand and watched tho sea
and thought of Maria, and how ho used
so often to kiss the back of her neck
because tho two little curls looked so
cunning, and how she thought him
handsome; how dear they were to each
other.
How long his reverie had lasted ho
clid not know, when merry voices
sounded in his ear.
A mau's tonc3, those of two little
boys and a woman’s. Surely he knew
the last speaker. He peeped from un¬
der his big Panama hat, and saw Dura.
She had brought the Ellwood boys
down for a holiday, at their uncle’s re¬
quest, and lie had come alio. Dr.
Emory guessed who the gentleman was,
for he had had the case of these boys
laid before him, and was looking for
two orphans to fill their places when
they should he gone, but the presence
of Mr. Ellwood gave him offence, “It
has quite the air of a family party,”
he said.
Tho boys played about, dug with
their little spades and filled with white
sand those painted pails which all good
picnickers buy at the seaside. They
took off their shoes and stockings and
waded along the edge of the water.
The elder people seemed as happy as
they, and how young 1 At last they sat
down very near to Dr. Emory, with
their backs to his sand barrow, and he
saw a man's brown hand drop upon a
little white one and hold it tight.
Without showing himself he could not
see their faces.
“Do you know why I asked you to
come here?’’ said the owner of Ihe
brown hand.
“To mind the children, as Sally
says,” replied the owner of the white
hand.
“No, to tell you something,” said
Brown Hand. “Darling little woman,
prettiest aud sweetest of all created
being', I have love! you from tho first
moment I met you. Da you think you
would mind marrying a man who has
his fortune yet to make? C u d you be
poor with him, aud yet be happy? You
see I am poor, but I adore you and I’m
selfish enougli to ask you to do just
that for my sake, if you can try to love
me.”
The white hand flutterel. A soft
voice trembled.
1 I should not have to try it,” she
sobbed. “It seems to come of itself,
and as for poverty, I d rather beg with
you than 1 ive without you and have
millions. Oh! don’t look happy, don’t
look happy, dear, when we both must
bo so miserable. I’m engaged; my
wedding day is set. I thought I had
outlived romance, aud I promised to
marry an old man who only wants a
lady at the head of his house. Oh!
why did you not come to me one day
earlier?”
Silence fell. Dr. Emory heard them
rise and go away. In a minute more a
little boy rushed up to the sand mound
and poked it with his spade.
“Here's a dead man,” he said—“a
droivnded dead man.”
4 ‘No; it’s a tip a y man,” replied B 1-
ly. “Let’s pile sand on him.”
This they proceeded to do, until
Billy descried “uncle beckoning, ” and
they departed on the run.
After the last train had gone city¬
ward, an elderly gentleman took a sand¬
wich and some ale at the hotel before
getting into his gig. He emptied a great
deal of sand out of his pockets, but did
not fee the waiters, and seemed to be, the
cashier said, “in a tamper.’ It was
Dr. Emory. He drove straight home,
and sat down at the desk.
“Thank Heaven, I can appear to
have the best of her,” he said, spite¬
fully. “But the next time I propose
to a woman I will not tell her that ro¬
mance is out of the question.”
Then he wrote:
“Miss Dwight: I fin an old man,
but I find 1 have made a mistake. I
have too much romance left in rac to
^ ou .^ ^pecuniary recompense J
matron , s pIaC0 j 9 again you rs ..
“Emory.”
yjj 3 , Dwight only noticed tips note
by packing her engagement ring in
pj n k cotton aud sending it back. She
did not want the matron's place, and
she married Mr. Ellwood very shortly.
Dr. Emory is now courting a girl of
10, who v,.w3 she adores him, and
wishes very loudly that he were
hers. He likes it. —New Tori Ledger.
, __
j Tlie boy who is left unmolested in
the pantry is likely to strike a pud-
ding.
TONS OF TREASURE
Enormous Wealth Buried With
Turkey’s Sultans.
Their Tombs Containing Corns
Valued at $300,000,000.
The Sultan of Turkey wants money
and he has none. Hu L»s none and yet
ho might have plenty. Where he
might find the money without having
recourse to English or French capital¬
ists is what I propose to tell you, says
a writer in the Pittsburg Dispatch.
The treasure is to be found at a few
hundred yards from the palace.
There is a treasure in Constantinople,
the treasure of tho “Thousand and One
Nights,” Aladdin’s treasure, aud the
celebrated door that will show you
mines of gold and precious stone* when
you bid it open. What are the Oasau-
bas of Algiers, of the Maroe of Tunis,
comparod to that of Stamboul? You
might just as well compare a broker’s
office to the Washington treasury! The
immense treasure belongs to the Golden
Horn, and Russia knows it well. AH
Sultans are buried with their treasures
and savings in a walled chamber, heueo
the name of Golden Horn orCorniicupiu
was given to the neighborhood of the
Serail.
Mahomet II., on taking possession of
Constantinople in tho year 1453, in¬
herited all the treasures of the Grecian
empire. Wc all know that he was a
saving man, and the wealth locked up
in his tomb, according to the Eastern
custom, is known to be enormous.
Bajuzst II. left hardly any fortune, and
I think his bones had bettor be left un¬
disturbed. His successor, Selim I.,
made himself famous by the conquest
of tho Danubiaa provinces. Ho left
considerable moae7 and precious stones
by tho bushel. 8olim.an II. was
called the “Magnificent” because of
his love for luxury and ot his ex¬
travagance. He was the Crceius of the
sultans. Selim II., Animat HE, and
Mehemot III. were not so fond of trea!-
uring up, and yet were their vaults
open, they might find money enougli
for one mouth’s pay to the whole army.
Achmct I. was a groat money-'.over,and
his tomb, we doubt not, must be well
filled. His successor, Mustaplia L,
reigned only one year, It would not
pay to open ar.d search his tomb. O.li¬
man II. was about as poor; and as for
Amurat IV. and Imbrahim, we have
somo reason to think that their tombs
are empty. Mahomet IV. not worth
mentioning. But Soliman III. and
Achmct II. were the “Lucul-
lus” of the crescent. Their
tombs M’erc overfilled with gold
and treasures of all kinds. Were all
that wealth changed into dollars there
would be enough to buy off the largest
iron and steel firm in the United States.
Aclimet III. made immense money by
his wars and treaties with the Venetian
republic. He had business abilities, as
we all know, and was most successful
in all his speculations. His Mailed
chamber must be nice and full.
Mahmoud I. well deserved liis reputa¬
tion as a greedy sultan. Ho ruled for
about twenty-four years, u’hich seems
incredible; lliat glorious “Commander
of tho Faithful” troasured up with care
even to his last day. Indian caravans
brought him diamonds from Hyderabad.
They said that Mahmoud I. had in-
crusted on liis cimctcr Zuphalgar,
the famous diamond that Emperor
Baber found at Agra in 1526; that
diamond we'ghs 672 carats. Pitt's
diamond weighs only 137 carats. Judge
then of the valuo of that of Agra! And
it has been locked up with Zuphalgar
ever since 1753! Is it not about time
to extract thorn untold treasures from
tho tombs? Othman III. was a most
sober and a very quiet young man. His
sole ambition was to have his tomb
u’ell filled. If wc break open tho door
of his vault wo are pr3tty sure to find
another Crocus’ wealth. Mahmoud
If., the reformer, arrived in 18)8. He
enjoyed a long reign, but his reign cost
him dear. He had to keep up large
armies and fleets; ho fought many a
battle, and his life to the last was a
busy one. It is said he only left debts
after him, and we are bound to believe.
Let him sleep in peace.
To conclude: Same $300,000,000
are locked in the tombs of the Sultans!
How Monkeys are Captured.
Most all monkeys which one sees iu
the United States come from Girgona,
a little village which is situated a short
distance from the Panama Railroad.
The inhabitants of this district are
mostly native negroes, f<ir no white
man could bear the climate without
drinking plenty of whhkcy and almost
continually serallowing quinine, Tne
whole region is marshy and covered
with extremely profuse tropical vegeta -
tion. At uigiit thero arises a thick
vapor laden with fever, which hangs
pver the woods like a cl iu l.
1 This region of wood is the prairie of
tho monkeys. They travel in troop,
around the woods, lod by an older
monkey. When tho people rcoalvj tho
information that tho “traveling monkey
troops” arc near tho villago, they repair
to the woods in crowds in chase of
them. Their plan is very simple. They
cut a hole in a cocoauut la. go enough
for a monkey’s paw. Tho nut is then
hollowed out aud a piece of sugar is
placed in it. A piece of string is then
fastened to it, and it is placed in tho
road of the approaching monkeys. It
is known monkeys are very inquisitive
animals. Soon enough they see the
“lonesome” cocoaaut in the gras! and
hurry to examine it thoroughly, It is
i a curious sight to seo how they climb
from the trocs, chattering, to take a
good view of tho concern.
It does not take them long to find out
that the inner part contains n piece of
sugar. One of tho boldest aud greedi¬
est sticks a paw into tho nut to get tlie
sugar aud grasps it as tightly as he can.
But his fist is so large that ho cannot
draw it out of the hole again with (lie
sugar, which ho holds fust to, coat what
it may. The negroes now pull the
string until nut and monkey arrivo in
tho vicinity of their ambuscade. In the
meantime tho other monkeys wonder
what is the matter with their comrade.
They hurry to see where he is being
pulled to with his paw in the coconnut.
They crowd around him, chattering and
gest culating to their hearts' content.
Now the great moment lias come.
The negroes have a large net ready, and
they spread it out over the unsuspecting
monkeys, and before they know it they
aro prisoners. They are sold to the em¬
ployes of the l’auamu Railroad, and
roach the North American market
through commercial dealers.
Looked Death in the Face.
When Dr. Charles Garcia, a well-
known physician of St. L >uis, M’ho died
rcceutiy, M’as a private in tho Confeder¬
ate army he had a remarkable experi¬
ence Math General Braxton Bragg dur¬
ing the retreat from C-ninth. General
Bragg, then second in command to
General P. G. T. Beauregard, whom he
afterward superseded, M’as personally
superintending tho loading of tho cars
bound for tho rear. At that moment
young Garcia, who was suffering from
illness, passed near, looking for the cars
that were to convey the sick to Tupelo.
An officer called Bragg’s attention tc
Garcia, and tho General ordered him to
go to work at once. Garcia answered
that lie was too ill to do so. With every
appearance of rage Bragg shouted:
“Whatl You dare to disobey my
orders?”
“I do,” leplied the young man.
Tho Genera! called a lieutenant of a
Louisiana company of regulars doing
guard duty and said: “Take six of
your company and carry this man to
that'grove and shoot him!”
The lieutenant called his men, but
before going to the grove General Bragg
took him aside and talked for a moment.
Toe recalcitrant soldier was then taken
to the grove and placed upon a stool,
with his back to a tree. He refused to
be blindfolded, but took out his watch,
chain aud ring, wrote a name on a
piece of paper and handed it all to the
lieutenaut, asking that the jewelry be
sent to the address given.
“Now I am ready,” he said.
Muskets were levelled. Tile young
man looked at their muzzles as calmly
as though he M’as being photographed.
After a moment the lieutenant ordered
‘'Recover arms!” Hi rushed upon the
youug soldier, complimented him upon
bis bravery, returned his jewelry aud
oidered him to go.
“Where is the boy?” General Bragg
asked of tho lieutenant a few minutes
later.
“Gone,” was the reply, and the story
of the young man’s behavior was told.
The General had search made for him,
saying, “I’ll promote him.” But lie
was not fo bo feu ad, and did not re¬
ceive his promotion .—New York Herald.
The King of All Birds.
There is an old legend in Europe
which makes tho wren, aul not the
eagle, “the king of all birds.” It tells
how the eagle once challenged all the
birds to a trial of high flying, the one
that towered furthest aloft within a
given time to reign over all tho others
forever. Ha had gained tha * ‘place
| nearest the sky,” and M’as about to
claim the victory, when the wren, who
had nestled among his feathers unob¬
served, fluttered into the air over him,
and was proclaimed king by the uni¬
versal acclamation of the feathered
throng. _____
Spoke to Papa,
' She (eagerly): “5\ell, dearest, did
j y°" speak to papa spoke this morning? him.”
He: “Yes, I to
She (excitedly): “What did he
>)>
| He: “He said ‘Good morning. i n
I Epoch.
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS.
In a paper recently read before tha
British A‘sociation it was ably arguod
that man was naturally left-lcggc 1.
A scientist estimates that tho power
of Niagara Falls excaods what could bo
producod by 15.), 000,000 tons of caul
annually.
Prof. Chandler Robert* has calculated
that tho mass of London fog weighs
6000 tons, ami contains in the course
of tho year $12,0)0,0.10 worth of car¬
bon.
Sea suud is often unfit for buildiug,
even though perfectly deprived of ils
snlt, tho reason being that flic pnrticlos
have been worn and polished until they
aro without binding power.
The fact that aluminium is easily
worked, has a low specific gravity, and
is practically non-corrosivo makos it nu
ideal metal for compasses, transits, field
and opera glassei, hand levels, etc.
A physiologist in France has been ob¬
serving the working of flies iu flying,
and has arrived at the conclusion that
tho wings of a fly make about lliroo
hundred and thirty beats per second,
and that such n fly can travel at tho rate
of a kilometre pec minute.
It is fifteen years since tho Trappiit
monks began to plant eucalyptus trees
in tho Roman Campagna, Italy. Now,
several hundred acres are covered with
them, aud as a result, there has been a
large decreaso in the malarial fevers
onco so common in tho district.
Soap bubbles blown with newly-gen¬
erated hydrogen gas have been found to
act ns electrical condensors, tho liquid
of which, whan broken, exhibited a
negative chargo. It is suggested that
this fact explains the so-calloil fireballs
sometimes seen during thunderstorms.
If tho earth should come in con¬
tact with another heavenly body of the
same size the heat generated would be
sufficient to molt, boil and completely
vaporize a mass of ice fully 700 times
that of both tho colliding worlds, or
an ice planet 150,000 miles in diameter.
It has boon ascerlaincd that the berry
grown ou the Florida scrub palmetto
has medicinal qualities. It has a sooth¬
ing effect on the mucous membrane,
producing piers ng sensations in the
throat and relieving soreness, coughs,
citarrh aud cold in tho head. It is
also beneficial in kidney Rouble.
It is said to be well established that
waste water can bo successfully con¬
verted into electrical energy. It can
be conveyed from ten to one hundred
miles on n small copper wire in .amount
varying from ten to five hundred horse
power. The cost docs not exceed $6500
a mile for the greater distance and the
larger power.
Those curious tropica! birds, the
touracos—now in the Z jological Gar¬
dens, London—whose red feathers be¬
come washed out in Muter, aro matched
by a Brazilian treo porcupine. This
creature possesses bright yellow spines
hidden by a thick coat of far, and
these spine j lose their pigments just
liko the touracos’ feathers, tinting the
water a paio lemon-yellow.
Signed With His Left Hand.
The bank clerks are so often ea'led
upon for directions that they fall into
tho habit of giving them in a hurried
and mechanical manner, consequently
they are frtq iciitly mi .understood. The
usual formula when a stranger is called
upon to sign his name is: “Sign thero
—pen anti ink at your left hand.” One
day not long ago a stranger entered ono
of the large banks and asked fora certifi¬
cate of deposit for a considerable roll
of money M’hich he handed over, Tho
clerk counted the money, found the
amount to be as stated, aud hurriedly
said: “Sign there, sir—pen and ink at
your left baud.” It appeared to t)»«
clerk that it took the stranger a long
time to sign his namo, but he thought
nothing more of it, and issued the cer¬
tificate of deposit. About a week
later the same man reap¬
peared and presented tho certificate.
As the clerk sees so Hinny faces cant
day he did not remember this man whoa
he asked him to sign his name. H(
dashed off an ornate signature, which
the clerk proceeded to compare with
the first signature. Tho two M’ore vast¬
ly d.fferent, as the first one was ap¬
parently the labored effort of an old
man. “I can’t pay you this money,
sir,” said the clerk. “Why not? ’asked
the astonished stranger. “Because this
is not the signature of the man to M’hom
I issued the certificate of deposit,” Mas
the reply. “Js he your father or grand¬
father?” The stranger was dumb-
founded. “Wheu I was here you told
me to write my name with my left hand,
and I did so, but l can’t M’lite that
way.” Alight dawned in up in. the
clerk now. “Will you write your name
with your left hand now?” he asked.
The mau labored hard and produced a
fac simile of his first signature, and the
clerk apologized and paid him his
money. — Chicago Herald,
NO. 5.
What Is Good.
“What is the real g’od?”
I asked in musing mood.
Order, said the law court;
Knowledge, said the school;
Truth, said tho wise man;
Pleasure, said the fool;
Love, said the maiden;
Beauty, said the page;
Freedom, said the dreamer;
Home, said tho sage;
Fame, said the soldier
Equity, the seer;—
Spake my heart full sadly:
“The answer is not here.”
Then within my bosom
Softly this I heard:
“Each heart holds the secret
Kindness is the word.”
—John Bogle O'Reilly.
HUMOROUS.
Board bills—Three-sheet posters.
Drawing materials—Mustard-plasters.
Your vegetarian thinks flesh is net
meet for tho stomach.
Tho favorite pursuit of tho fliwor of
nobility is haughty- culture.
When a young mau goes on a “tear”
tho sooner he “inonds” his ways the
better.
The inconsistency of nature is shown
when it supplies the turkey with »
comb and no hair.
Ho hoped to win her by his presonts,
but she said his presence wasn't desira¬
ble, so he didu’t send any.
Joneson—Johnson, my dear friend, I
can never repay your kindness, John-
son—Repay that $13 I just lent you
and I'll throw iu my kindness.
That tho moral nature of tho pig is
essentially moan and selfish is proven by
the fact that he is always willing and
ready to “squeal” when ho gets into u
tight place.
“I see you are uot a very expart pick¬
pocket,” said the detective to the man
whom he had caught in the act. “No,”
the latter replied, coolly; “I am just
getting m / hand in. ”
“Well, luivcrl If there isn’t that
blessed child a-goin’ and a-put:in'on
its stockin’s wrong sideoutl” “5Vhy,
of course, nurse; don’t ’oo seo dero’s a
hole on de odder side?”
Funny Min’s Little Bob—May I leave
the room, teacher? Teacher—Way do
you want to leave the room? F. M. L.
B.—'Cause I can’t take it with me, o’
course.
A youug lady seat in a poem en¬
titled, “I Cannot Make Him Smile,” to
a newspaper, The editor ventures to
expres! the opinion that she would
have succeeded had she shown him the
poem.
Some fashionable women put dia¬
mond ring! on the tails of their pet
dogs. A diamond ring ou a dog’s tail
is so conspicuom that the animd is not
obliged to scrnlc’i his nose with his
caudal appendage to cdl attention to
tho jewel.
Jefferson Davis' Memory.
Jefferson Davis had a memory for
faces and names that has probably never
been excelled by that of any public man
in the United States. It lias been said
of Gen. Sherman that when he meets a
man who was introduced to him 20
years previously he will recall his namo
and the circumstances of tho introduc¬
tion, and will talk over the incidents of
their first meeting. Both Grant and
Leo possessed to a great degree the
Bamc facu’ty of remembrance, but nei¬
ther Sherman nor Grant nor Lee could
do what Mr. Davis did. At his office
iu Richmond, as President of the
Southern Confederacy, aud in his visits
to tho front of the aimy, he treasured
up in his memory the names of every
officer and soldier with M’hom he eamo
into contact, aud ho never forgot them.
While ho was at li;s Beauvoir planta¬
tion last winter there camo to him a
M’oru-out and broken-doM’n man who
made a claim on his charity as having
been a lieutenant in a certain Missis¬
sippi regiment. Davis taxed his mem¬
ory for a moment aud then told tho ap¬
plicant that ho was a fraud and that a
man hearing an entirely different same
Mas the lieutenant of the company
M’kicli tho mendicant had specified.
The beggar made a quick exit from
the house and Mas never seen around it
again.
A Crow Tamer.
Charles Smith, of Concord, Vt, has .
been a keeper and tamer of crows some
forty years, never being without one or
more of these birds. Fanny, Ids pres¬
ent pet, has been with him tM’o years.
She warms herself for hours by the
smithy fire, chatters M-'.dl ■ I e s 'Hammer¬
ing on the anvil, and when he is shoe¬
ing a horse, is sure to slaul at the
beast’s heels. R.’tei'tly a hi rse jaut lais
foot on Fanny nnd pinna 1 her down till
she was ns flat as a board. She was
laid on the h:arth apparently dead, but
an hour afterward she shook herself up
into-shape again and bg.n chattering
rs usua’, though in a very equally aud
melancholy tpne, M’hich lasted fore
week Qf more.