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VOL. 1. Aflor the Storm. the wildest storm must sfjetid its force, tfhe baffled winds pause with a moan, For sunshine struggling through the nfist Clasps the tired earth in shining tone. So stormy grief will rob of light The soul that prays for morning's dawn. Through black despair in deepest night, Ti 1 hope, and love, and life seem gone. 'Tis then the morning's golden splendor Dispels the gloom, illumes the way, Whilst dreamy voices, low and tender, Whisper, sad heart, behold a perfect day! —Chicago Journal, WITTS ADVENTURE. I was quite young wheii 1 itent out to service—only sixteen—and I was quite frightened at the .idea of going among the grand folks; but father had not left much, except dobls and mort¬ gages, when he died!, and mother was feeble, and there weie all tho little children to be taken caro of; and Neighbor Ford told me that they wanted a parlor-maid at the court, “there ain't so much to do," said Farmer Ford, “and- twelve dollars a month.’’ “But a servant!'’ said mother, and sho put her black stuff apron to her eyes and began to c y in that weak, uncerta n way sho had. “We’re all of us servants, Lydia, to the Lord,” said Noighbor Ford. “And if every one of u? does his duty in the state of life where it pleases God to put Us; there ain’t nothing more to be expected;’’ “Mother,” said I, “only think of it! Twelve dollars a mouth. II >w much it will help us! Oh, mother, I am so glad!" “The child looks at it right,” said Neighbor Ford. 1 ‘She’s got more sense tHari yttii haVc, Lydia! ’ So I went to Caris'ali Court; There was a h mekeeper there, and a butler, and seven servans borides ms, and I soon learueJ to perform the duties of my place neatly aid well. Mrs. Ghristali’s mul used to give mi many li-eful hints—she tWs a quiet, sub¬ stantial E lglis’iwomau whom the fami¬ ly ha l brought from foreign pirts with them. But her brother fell ill, and she went home to nurse him, aud there came a fine French mademoiselle in her place, whom they called Maden ohel e Veroniquc; She spoke two or three differ¬ ent language*, dressed hair like ft fash¬ ion plate, altered over Mrs. C installs bonnets and dressos until her wardrobe seemed twice as large and variei, and Bad a sgore of other accomplishments at her finger cnl*. Mr*. C.iri till said she was “a perfect treasure;’’ the old housekeeper laughed until her sides ached, at Veronique’s stories; the footmia fell deep’y in love with her, and all the other maidi copied her dresses, repettod her smart sayiigs, Und strove, iu variou; ways, to imitate W< fiat I kept q iletiy aloof. Bom s- iiow i was afraid d f MaJerrioiselio V«; ~ onique. She had grea’, luminous green eyes like those of a cat; she showed her teeth, in glistenirig double rows, when Ihe laughed, and, although she wa3 al¬ ways jjriditig hers .-If on her completion, I am quite sure it was powder and pan*. She came smding to me one night— it Was of a Sonia/ evening, I rjrnom- be?, when I wa3 sitting by ths windiw reading my liyma-book, and woalering what mother and the chi.dren were do- ing. “Hero is ma petite Lottee,” sho said. “Tho shy bird who shrinks away from me always. But I bare eyes, Lottce, and I have already made myself to per¬ ceive that ycd are vory p-etes. Ah! Bay 1 not the truth? And you shall put a rose in those broWu braids, Lottce, and dance tonight. Peter is going, and Felix and Amanda; and the coach- tfiadj Who proves h m elf mist* amiable, will take us iu the wagonette.’ “But it is Sun lay evening,” said I. JJa lemoiselle Vronique made n grimace. “We are not Puritans, Lot tee,” sail the. “We have all been to tho church tsday. Why not tnake a little simple enjoyment tonight, like tho peasants of ma belie Normandie? Madurai dine3 cut; the chi.dren, with their good, heavy-headed nurse, wilt be asleep—’■ “Did Mrs. Christall say—’’ “Madame knows - nothing—absolutely nothing,’’ reiterate! Veronique, impa¬ tiently. “Are we poor servants to be always slaves? Come, ma petite. The good Felix especially wishes to dance With you, and I have promised him that you will be there.” L „Felix was the upper gardener who was In charge of tho green-houses and graperies; a spare, livid-faced, little ns| whom I especially disliked. I “It js Sunday evening,” said I; “I do not wish to go. I have boon brought up to spend Sunday eveniug quietly at home.” , And Mademoiselle Varonique’s per- auasions, flatteries and blandishments were in vain. They all went. I could l»e»r them returning stqne o’clock in the m0ra ' THE ENTERPRISE. * w ing, tiptoeing past my bedroom door; and their descriptions of the festive gathering at the breakfast-table next day were enthusiastic in the extreme. “There's to ba a hop Friday night week," said Folix, “with a band from Mncaster. Lotty will go this time, I am quite certain, if I ask her; and Mr. and Mrs. Ciiristall will be in New York that night for the Charity Ball.” 1 looked gravely at him. “Do you think it will be right, Felix?” said I. “Oh, bah!” Madomofselle Veroniquo interjected, with extrema disgust. “I'm quite sure there can bo nothing wrong auout it,” Eaid Felix. “Then, why do you notask Mrs. Christall boldly to let you go?" I ques¬ tioned. They looked blankly at one another —and before they could answer, Mrs. Hood, tho housekeeper, came in, and a signal for silence was passed around. “Friday night week l" It came before we knew it, almost. Mr. and Mrs. Christall went to the Charity Ball, the latter so superbly dressed that the ser¬ vants gathered in a little group behind the butler’s pantry door to see her go out in her diamonds aud pink silk. Old John, tho elder coachman, was to wait at Slington station to briug them back at 3 o'clock—the other coachman, Thompson, was in league with Veron¬ iquc aud her friends, aud was to harness up the wagonette as soon as the coast was fairly clear for Vcionique, Hatty, Julia and Fui.x. “And Latty might go, too, if she only would,’’ said Hatty, rcproach- fully. “I don’t tliiuk it’s right,” said I. Mrs. Hood had gone to see her daughter at Slingtou, leaving the house in Julia's charge, for Julia had been there some time and was regarded as quite trustworthy; the old butler always weut to bod at nine; so that when tho wagonette was off I was the only per¬ son left about the place. And I had hardly seated myself by the fire with needlework beforo thcro came a tap at the door. I started, for I was nervous and easily frightened, and the house seemed unnaturally large and lonesome iu the quiet evening silence. It wai a little boy—a stunted, big.eyed creature— whom I did not remember to have seen in the neighborhood before. “Are you Letty Lee?” ho asked. “Yes,” I answered, in surprise. “It’s your mother,” said he. • 'She’s fell on the ice aud broke her leg. She wants you right off.” / “How did it happen?” I cried, burst¬ ing into tears. “Who told you?" “I can’t stay.’ ’ said h3. “They’ve sent me for a doctor, and I ain’t to de¬ lay second. " a And off lie scud led, his small figure seeming to lose itself in the black masses of evergreen ou the lawn. What was I to do? I knew that Lohnson, the butler, slept like a log of wood, and there was no one else about the house. “I can just run down home and be back in hdf an hour,” thought I. Bo t lofckad the door, saw that the fire was all right, and started off across the dark copses an 1 frozen fields. At the mill I saw a light burning,and stoppel to inquire of old Mr. Dawson, whose wife was our nearest neighbor, as to the extent of the accident. “Is mother much hurt?” slid I. He looked amaze 1, and I proceeded to ex¬ plain myself mure fully. “They’ve fooled you, my girl,” said he. “I’ve just come from there—and your mother’s as well and sound as ever she was i.i her life.” A sudden light seemed to flash across me. Something was wrong. There was some under-current of malicious purpose bidden under all this tissue of falsehood. And I saw in the eyes of Harry P iw3on, the millers tall son, who stood bsside me, that he, too, shared my ideas. “Father,” said he, “all isn’t right. Call the Ford lads. Lot u»’ go up to Christall Court with Lotty.” “Eli?” said Mr. Dawson. “You don’t suspect—” “I don’t know what I do suspect, farl; 9 r ”said Ilirry. hurriedly buttoning l isn’t it his coat. “But I know all as should be.” We cams up to the Court, a little , band of us, in the frozen silence of the winter night, and found that it was as Harry Dawson had suspseted. Christall Court was in the possession of three men whose tools, scattered around, pro¬ claimed them to be professional burg- lars, while thi poor old butler, fast asleep at the top of the house, never dreamed that aught was amiss. But, expert as were those thieves, the sturdy strength and superior numbers of our pafij were too much for them. They overpowered and hound—and were home with when the wagonette came its load of cross and sleepy servants, served to carry the captives to the it /cotsuty j uL Ve¬ it proved that one of them w «a CARNESVILLE, GA„ MONDAY, MARCH 3.1890. ronique's brother—and that tho Froneh- woman herself was in league with them. Veroniquo left the country, abruptly; all the other servants, except' Mrs. Hood, Old John and the butler, wore discharged—and lam Mrs. Christall’s own maid, now. To bo sure, it isn’t much of an ad¬ venture, but suqh as it is, I have told it as plainly as I could remember .—The Ledger. Historic Mansions in Washington. A number of the Senators livo in his¬ toric quarters, writes Frank G. Carpen¬ ter in a Washington letter to tho New York World. Senator Cameron paid |87,000 soma years ago for the old Ogle Tayloe mansion on Lafayette Square. It is a three-story brick of a dirty yellow, with an iron portico run¬ ning along tho second story above an English basement. The front door is painted olive green and the lower story contains the office of the Senator and his reception-room. The parlors are on the second floor, and tho house is nicely furnished. In this house havo been en¬ tertained all of the Presidents since the days of Andrew Jackson, and Winfield Scott and Martin Van Buren hnvc often put their legs under the mahogany in its dining-room. One day when General Scott was dining here a violent hail¬ storm occurred, smashing tho windows and bringing down lumps of ico tho size of hickory nuts. These hailstq^os were brought to the table, and Scott, as he dropped one of them into his wineglass, said: “Ladies, we will cool our champagne with celestial ico.” Just below this boose of Cameron's is tho home of Secretary Blaino. He rents tho house, but he has refura.ished and repainted it. You eater the ground floor from the street through, an olive- green doorway and you find, the parlors on the second floor. The dTawing- room is furnished in saihnon tint and the woodwork and mautels .arc of pearl- white. The dining-room is on the ground floor an l its walls, are hung with crimson tapestry and the chairs are upholstere l in red leather. The sideboard is of old oak and the whole house is adorned with the pictures and bric-a-brac which Secretary Blaine picked up in E-iropc. This home and lot is worth now at least $ 100,000 aud the lot would bring $50.,000 under the hammer. Still it was once sold for a jackass and it was Henry/ Clay who sold it. It is just across the. wtreet from the White house and Clay had often re¬ fused to self it. Oae day, however, old Commodore Rogers came homo from tho Mediterranean with his naval vessel full of live stock which. he had picked up abroad. One df 'Clay’s hobbies was stock farming, and Rogers’s cargo in¬ cluded one finei Andalusian jackass. Clay saw it and waited it. The Com¬ modore refused to> rsell, but at last said laughingly: “You can have Sum for your lot op¬ posite tho White .house.” “Done,’’said Clay, and the animal was shipped off to Kentucky. Commo¬ dore Rogers built a big four-story brick ou the ground, anfl this brick has been tho scene of many a Washington festiv¬ ity. In it Blaine wi.l enlertaiu this winter, and in it. iSeward dined tho di¬ plomats when hi wa$ secretary of state. Thirsty Trs velers’ Tree. A European travr.er,on his way from the coast of Madaga scar to ’the capital, Tananarivo, in the interior, had emp¬ tied his water-flask and was suffering from thir»£. II© issked one of the na- lives of his party when he should be able to obtain water- “Any time you like it,” said thl na¬ tive, smiling. The European *saw no signs of springs or water; but the matitve conducted him to a group of tall, palm-like trees, standing in a cluster on the edge of the forest, with straight t runks and bright green, broad leaves growing from the opposite sides of the silalk, and mak¬ ing the tree appear like a great fan. The white man gazed admiringly at the tree. “Yt.u think it is a fine tree,’’said the native, “but I will show you what it is good for. ■ > He pierced the root of one of the leaf stems at the point whore it joined the tree with his spear, whijreupon a stream <rf clear water spurted out which the European caught in his water can, and found cool, fresli and. excellent to drink. The party having satisfied their thirst and taken supper, the native who had spoken went on, “This tree, which is good for us in more ways than one, we call the travel¬ ers’ tree.” “But where does the water come f r om that the tree contains,” asked tho white man. “Is it taken up from tho soil?” “Oh, no,” said the native, “The leaves drink in the rain that' falls on them and when it has passed all through them it becomes very pure and sweet,” —Miee onari/ Herald. “LA GRIPPE” A New York Doctor Discusses the Disease. What It is, its Previous Histo¬ ry and Treatmant. In a conversation with a reporter, Dr. L. do Plasso, a prominent member oi tho Academy of Modicine of Now York, givo much interesting information about the epidemic, lagrippo or influ¬ enza, of which he made a special study in Europe as well as in this couutry. According to the Doctor, the first great epidemic of the kind appeared in Eu¬ rope in 1580. “Why," said the reporter,’ “I thought thcro had been one in Rome in tho year 90 of our era.” “You refer, no doubt,” replied the learned practitioner, “to the great mortality mentioned by tho Greek histor.an, Dion Cassius, as having terrorized Romo in that year.- It was not the grip that caused it, but the stupid despotism of Emperor Domitian. The Roman population was assembled in the amphitheatre when a heavy rain¬ fall came, drenching the crowds to tiie marrow, and the tyrant compelled them to remain to the cud of the games. Thousands died from pleurisy, but not from the grip. “By the way, let mo say that the ■word la grippe comes from the Polish word chrypka, which means hoarse- ness. It has been u-ed for tho last fifty or sixty years in preference to the Italian wurd influenza, and is now the technical term adopted by the medical profession all the world over. “Since 1580 this disease has annoyed Europe in 1591, 1675, 1763, 1780, 1803—which was the worst and tho most deadly of its incursions—in 1836, 1833, 1837, 1846, 1885 and 1889 90. “It is a fact worthy of remark that tho actual epidemic in New York be¬ gins otten with the gravest symptoms. It is sudden iu its attack and strikes right and left, rich and poor, without distinction of age, sex, bodily con¬ stitution, personal liabfts, etc. It is often accompanied by delirium, especially among children!, and to it must be ascribed many of the suicides which have taken place. Its duration is from throe or four days to two weeks, and more,” “To what is the grip due, in your opinion, doctor? ’ “To a miasmatic condition of the atmosphere, The abnormal tempera- turo of the present winter has no more to do with it than would prolonged fogs. > 1 “Is it contagious? ’ “Yes, although there are those who think that it is not, on account of its sudden appearance over largo tracts o f land." “Do you think there is a special mi¬ crobe in tho case?’’ “Yes, and I am positive that the great physicians of 1850 and 1861 were right when thoy attributed tho grip to the presence of spec’al micrococchi, which develop very rapidly in the at¬ mospheric principle called ozone. That principle is an hypothetical body, goneraliy admitted as being the cause of the peculiar smell wh ch accompan¬ ies electric discharges in the air, aud of the one which belongs to oxygen pro¬ duced under tho influence of a galvanic current in water mixod with sulphuric acid. “If I had lime I would certainly con¬ tinue tho researches made by the cele¬ brated Letzerig, who, in 1880, declared that the grip is a mysotic affection of tlie blood, caused by special microbes which do not develop in the form of little chains, but in very irregular groups.” Hero the doctor took from his library five or six medical works in. which the grip microbes were carefully repro- j duced in enlarged drawings. “Have you any particular treatment you might mention?” , “Well, in the case of grip not com¬ plicated with othor diseases, I attend to the symptoms at once, prescribing rest and confinement to the house. Anti- pyrine and salicilate of quinine are of excellent use. Bleeding must be prac- tised in case pneumonia sets in. It is an old remedy to which most doctors return nowadays with success.” Swiss Peasants. I will tell some stories which prove that the Swiss peasants, (hough thoy look so stolid, have in them the stuff of tragedj'. There was a lad in a valloy called Schaufigg, not long ago, who loved and was betrothed to a girl iu the Hinter Rhointhal below Splugen. 8he jilted him, having transferred het affections to another, and he went to take a formal farewell of his sweet¬ heart in her home. Everything passed decorously, so much so that the girl's brother put his horse into the cart and drovo the rejected lover with his own sister down to Thuals. The three had ■ cached that passage of the Via Mala where the Ruine loses itself in a very deep, narrow gorge. It is called tho Verloseue Loch, and is spanned by n slender bridge thrown at right angles over the river. Here, as they were -.pinning merrily down-hill, the lad stood up in the cart, sprang to the parapet of the bridge, and dashed him¬ self at one bound iuto tho grim death of jagged rocks and churning waves below them. It was a stroke of im¬ aginative fanoy to commit suicido for love just at this spot. And now a second tale of desperate passion: A rich man in the Prattignu had two children, a daughter aud a sen. Tue daughter wheedled him into allow, ing her to marry some peasant, who was poor and an unequal match in social station. Then his son set his affections upon a girl equally ineligible; tho father stormed, but the youth was true to his plighted troth. During a temporary absence of tho son his father contrived to scud tho girl off to Ameri¬ ca with n round sum of money. Oa his return, after hearing what had hap¬ pened, the lad said nothing, but went down to the Landquart water in the evening and drowned himself there. And now a third tale: Last spring, in a village not throe hours A.htaut from Davos, lived a young man who was an orphan, lie had iakcritcd a considera¬ ble estate, and expected more from two uncles. Life, could ho havo manage l it prulently, would probably have made him the wealthiest farmer in the neighborhood, and lie was, to boot, astal- wart follow on whom nature had lav¬ ished all her gifts of health, and come¬ liness. Unluckily he loved a girl oi whom his uuclos disapproved as a match for such a youth of consequence. One Saturday evening, as the custom is here, he went to pay his addresses by stealth to this maiden of his choice, and returatng early noxt morniug he was upbraided by his interfering uncles. I do not know what he replied, but cer¬ tainly he made no scene to speak of. When tho uncles left he 'unhooked his gun from the woodon paneling of the house room, went out alone into the copsehard bv nn 1 put a bullet through His brain. —^Fortnightly Review. Untiling In Chinn. Tho following is u brief account of the Chinese baths, (akon from personar observation: There are two outoi rooms used for undressing and dressing; the first and larger is for the poorer classes, the second for those who con¬ sider themselves more respectable and who wish to be more private. As you enter the larger of these rooms, a plac¬ ard which is Rung near the door in¬ forms you what tho charges aro, and a man stands there to receive tho money on entrance. Arranged in rows down the middle and around the sides of both rooms are a number of small boxes or lockers, furnished with lock and key, into which tho visitors put their clothes, and where they can make auro of thorn when thoy roturn from tho bathing room. The bathing room is entered by a small door at. the further end of the building, and is about thirty feet long and twenty wide, tho hath occupying the whole space, except a narrow path around the sides. Tho water Is from one foot to eighteen inches deop, and the sides aro lined and covered with mnrble s'abs, from which tho bathers step into tho water, and on which thoy sit and wash themselves. The ostab- bailment in the uftemoou and evening is crowded with visitors, and on enter¬ ing tho bath room the first impression is almost insupportable. The hot steam or vapor meets you at ths - door, filling tho eyes and ears, and causing perspira¬ tion to run from every pore in the body; it almost darkens the place, and the Chinamen seen in this imperfect light, with their brown skins aud long tails, sporting in tho water, render the scene a most ludicrous one to a foreigner. Xhogc visitors who use tho common room pay only six coppdr cash; the other class eighteen; but they, in addi¬ tion, have a cup of tea and a pipe of tobacco from the proprietor!. I must mention that one hundred copper cash nmount to about nine cents of our money , g0 that the first class enjoy a hot water bath for about one-half a cent, aud the other a bath, a private room, a cup of toa aud a pipe of tobac¬ co for something less than two cents. From this it will be seen that the Chi- nese, although far behind us in many respects, could give our poorer classes a lesson in cleanliness. —Popular (Science News. Another Girl Entirely. Snaggs—The young lad/ who just passed looks like a misanthrope. Mrs. Bnaggs—But she isn’t, dear. She’s a Miss Robinson .—Pittsburg 1 Chronicle. The flannel shirt is so modest that It shrinks from day to day. SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS. Artificial glaciers os a means of stor¬ ing water for irrigation have been pro¬ posed. A new industry at Bay City, Micb., is the manufacture of alcohol out o! sawdust. A great flight of locusts, calculated to have covered about 8U00 square miles, lately passed across the Rad Sea from the African to the Arabian shore. Adolph Sutro of San Francisco is trying to solve the quinine problem on liis oitalo by rus.ug cinchona trees, from tho baric of which quinine is extracted. Mias Proctor of Lima, Ohio, has paten tel a process by which it is claimed 10,000 cub c foot of illuminat¬ ing g.s can bo extracted from one barrol of Lima oil. The mineral called turfa, or brazo- lina, lately discovered in Bahia, fur¬ nishes an oil akin Kf petroleum,a paraf¬ fine suitable for the manufacture of candles, and a goo 1 lubriciting oil. Tho hydrocarbon process of fronting iron so that it will not corrode, is said to cost lc3s than one-half of that of galvanizing, while tho durability, under similar conditions, is considerably ex¬ tended. A method of treating pine icivjs foi the purpose of couvcrting them into a pulp for tho manufacture of a strong and superior paper by exposing the leavc3 to tho action of steam under pressure has been successfully tried. The peculiar odor of Russian leather which enables it to resist the ravages of insects, arises from tho employment of an oil obtained by tin dry distillation of tlie bark of tho birch tree, the oil being worked into the flesh side of the leather by means of suitable tools. Tho gradual failure of a cast-iron bridge erected about 65 years ago at Potsdam, Germany, has been the cau e of considerable scientific inquiry, The conclusion arrived at is that tho bridge members wore too rigidly connected, no adequa'e allowance being made for ef¬ fects of varying temperature. Recent observations of the wators of Great Salt Lake prove conclusively that the statements made that no form ol auimal or plant life (xisls in tho lake arc erroneous, No fish or other large form of animal life has been discovered, Lilt ths presence of vegetable orgauisms in the lake may be con idiriri a fact from the abundance of animal exist¬ ences. Dr. Aianus, loader of the G rman vegetarians, has abandoned tho diet on the ground that a purely vegetable diet interferes with the proper functions of the arteries. Tlio French physicians Monin aud Trielii confirm this view,and say it causes chalky degeneration of the arteries on account of the too great prepondcrancs of mineral salts. S:gnor Schiaparelli, the eminent Mi¬ lan astronomer, W' 11 known for his re¬ searches ou the shooting stars and on tho canals of tho planet Mars, has an¬ nounced that after ten years’ investiga¬ tion he has ascortainel thit Mercury has a rotation like that of the moon. Its rotation on its own axis and that round the sun synchronize, so that it always turns the samo silo to the sun, as the moon does to the earth. Powdered Milk. The idea of c lucing cow’s milk to a i owder, aud shipping it in this con¬ dition over all tho world, seoms to have first originated with D.-. Krueger, a Swiss savaut, and under his manage¬ ment a company was organized to make milk powder in Switzerland. It is claimed that milk in this fofm is much better than canned or con¬ densed milk for one reason—it has no sugar in it. "It well known that con¬ densed milk cannot bo used in many departments of cooking on account ot this sugar, and this also makes it ob¬ jectionable for uso with vory young children; not that sugar itself is in¬ jurious to babies, for it is always put into their milk, we believe, but it is better that this sugar ho put in fresh at the time of prepariug milk for tho child. How far this powdered milk will an¬ swer these objections remains to be seen. One thing is certain—tho powder would be much better for transportation, and more handy to havo in tho house than either plain or condensed milk, pro¬ vided it is a success. It looks somewhat dubious as a com¬ plete substitute for plain milk, not only on account of necessary expense, but wc do not find any kind of food capa¬ ble of being thoroughly dried and after¬ wards made over with water so ns to closely resemble tho original 'article, and wc never expect to see it done with cow’s milk. Nature has a way of mingling these thiugs that thu* far man lias not been able to closely imitnto .—American Dairyman. NO. 9. Light and Loro. t Jf light should strike through every dark¬ ened place How many a deed of wickedness and ct shame Would cease, arrested by its gentlo grace, Anil striving virtue rise, unscathed by blame! The prisoner in his cell new hopes would frame, The miner catch the metal's lurking trace, The sage would grasp the ills that harm our race, . sudden And unknown heroes leap to fame. If love for one short hour had perfect sway, How many a rankling sore Its touch would heal, How many a misconception pass away And hearts long hardened learn^o foci; What sympathies would awake, what feuds decay, short If perfect love might reign for one day! Picayune. —New Orleans HUMOROUS. It is better to have a turnup noso than a cablmgo head. Is a gnn thought to be doing great execution when it hangs fire? Culturo doo3 not m ike a gentleman. A regular beet may be a cultivated thing. “Silence is golden,” said the wit who wroto and sold his joke, instoad of telling it. Thcro is hope in the future for every man. Even for the youth with a pair of tight shoes on there is tho blissful prospect of bed time. “Take asvay woman, ’’ said a writor on a morning paper, “and what would follow I" A man would. Givo us something hard, next time. Inquisitivo Citizen—What’s the mat¬ ter with tho man? Been run over by a railroad train? Ambulance Surgeon— Worso than that. Ho was caught among the women in a bargain rush at Seller’s. A good thing can bo carried tos far. A Boston man, who had been told that lie was about lo die, a koi the doctor for his bill, saying that lie did not wish to depnrt from his life-long rule, “Pay as you go.” Young lady ft© editor)—I have such a pretty little story with me. Can you use it? Editor—Oh, certainly; we can use auything here. (To office boy) Jimmy, put a few more manu c.ipts in tho stove; tho room is grow.ug cold. Always Employed—Buovolcnt Per- ion (to tramp)—What do you umaily do in tho wintor time? Tramp—Wait fer summer. Benevolent Person— And wkut do you do when summer comes? Tramp (resignedly)—Bogin to wait fer winter. “Where are you going, my pretty maide?” "I’m going to sneeze—atclioo,’' she saide. Statistics as to Hunchbacks. Ton years ago a remarkable character died in Paris. He was known all over France and the greater part of all Eu¬ rope as “Tho Learned Hunchback.” He was very wealthy, and spent a m*nt of money in tho last 50 years of his life, traveling in all direction* maxing researches concerning his l.u 'chbacked brethren. It was in the mil ior por¬ tions of Europe that he found tho mis¬ fortune the most prevalent. Spun sup. plied the greater uumber, and in a o r- cumscribed locality at the foot rf tho Sierra Morena he found that there w is one humpbackod person to every 13 inhabitants. They wore also found to be quite numerous in the valley of tho Loire in France. Tho little humpbacked statistician camo to tho c>nc urion that there was one humpback in eac i 1 K)Q inhabitants, or an aggregate of 1, U0d,- 000 against the estimated thousand mil¬ lions of the entire earth. After the death of this eccentric indi- vidual his heirs found in place of a will a voluminous manuscript of 2)03 page s, all concerning humps. The last page, although it said nothing about the dis¬ position of property, oxproised tho author’s wish to havo a hump of marble raised over his grave, with this inscrip¬ tion: “Hero lies a humpback who had a taste for humps, and who knew moro about them than any other humpback, ” The Czar’s Precautions. When the Czar travels, a littlo van¬ guard is sent in advance, consisting of two locksmiths, two carpsnters aud two mason’, all of them being married men, born in tho Imperial scrv’ice, and devotedly attached to their august master. Their duties aro to examine walls, floors, chimneys and fireplaces, locks aud furniture in every room oc¬ cupied by tho Czar. The chimneys in particular aro tho objects of special attention, in order that no infernal machine shall be concealoi in them. A Coincidence. Wife—What did yon ever see in ms to make me your wife? Husband—Do yon know l’va asked myself the same tiring a hundred timet since we’ve been married?— Epoch.