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YOL. I. Smiles and Tears. you meant to wound me? Then forgive 0 friend, that when the blow fell, I Turned my face from you to the wall To smile, instead of die. You meant to gladden me? Dear friend, Whoso praise like jewels l have kept, Forgive me, that for very joy I bent my happy head and wept. —The Century, HER LITTLE SISTER. “Lizzia has gone again,” said Mrs. Crest. “Lizzie’s no sort of use to me of late. I don’t know what’s come to the child, but she does act to mo as if she Was bewitched.” Frances Crest set down the bluo- riramed plate she was wiping with a coarse homespun towel. “Where is sho, mother?” said she. “Out in the wools, I suppose.- It's where she always goes.” “Mother, you must remember that L’zzie is young. Don’t be hard upon her I” pleated Francos. Mrs. Crest was Farmer Obid Crest’s second wife, and Frances, the tall, pale girl with the sombre brown eyes and the oval, colorless face, was the good woman’s stepdaughter, while pretty 18- vcar-old Lizzie was her own and only child. “But for all that,’’ said Mrs. Crest, “I put a great deal more dependence on Frances than I do on L z'.ie. Fran¬ ces is all the same to me as my own child. ’’ “Hard upon her!" she repeated querulously. “What I’m afraid of is that I’m too easy with her. She’s al- ways had her own way in everything. And she takes it dreadful hard that you should be going to Albany and she left at home. I never kuew such nonsense in my life I” A disturbed expression passed over Frances's face. “It’s natural she should feel so, mother,” she urge 1, gently. Frances Crest ha l diligently taught School for three conscrut.vj seasons to earn the money for this coveted winter in Albany, during which she had prom¬ ised herself to take music lessons an l aid to her knowledge of art and literature. For she was engaged to Stephen E l-wortU, and she longed, with an ex¬ ceedingly great desire, to mace herself worthy of his love. ‘T only country girl, 1 ’ she said m a to herself, “and ho lives in the city, where he is meeting brilliant women every day. And it would be dreadful, if, after we were married, he should be ashamed of me! ’ Mrs. Rigney, a distant couriu of the Crests, had offered to give Frances a home for the winter for what use she emld render in household matters, and the money she had saved was to be spent in suitable drees, lessons and other expenses. And, best of all, she would see Stephen Ellsworth every day. Sho had looked forward to this for a long time; nowit was very near, and her heart was full of happiness. She finished her household tasks aud went quietly out to the nook in the woods where she knew that she should find Lizzie. It was a sheltered glade, where a twisted grape-vine overhung the brown waters of a babbling brook arid tall plume 3 of golden-rod noddled along the narrow pith. And hero, with her head loaning listlessly against a tree-trunk, sat a lovely girl of scarcely 18, with deep- blue eyes, full, cherrv-red 1 pi, aud a complexion like a balsam-flower. Oae hand was immersed in the cool, run¬ ning water; the other held a crumpled puckct-handkerchief, drenched with tears. “Lizzie!” exclaimed Frances, “you have been crying!” Tue blue eyes sparkled resentfully. “Crying? Of course I’ve been cry- ing!” retorted Lizzie Crest, “Who wouldn’t cry, to be left alone in this dismal hole all winier long, while you are enj-ying yourself in the city? But I won’t stay here. I’ll run away and go on tho stage, or else drown myself iu Packer’s pool.” “Lzzie! Lizzie! thiuk what you are saying!” “I don’t care!” pou'ed Lizzie. “What is life worth in a place like this? ’ And she burst into a fresh flood of tear -. Frances sat down and took the gold- en head tenderly into her lap. AU her life long she bad been ac- f customed to subordinate her will to r that of this lovely, tempestuous sprite What sign fled oue sacrifice more or less? “Don’t cry any more, L zzie!'’ she | whispered. “I've made up my mind. You shall go to Aunt Josie, instead of me* _ 11 . “I?” “And I’ll wap another year,” added [Fr nccs, swal owing a lumn iu her ‘oat. ‘ YoXl shall have the music THE ENTERPRISE. lessons and the ait lectures; you shall seo what a winter in the city is like.” Lizzie's eyes sparkled; her cheeks were red. She flung her arms around Frances’s neck with a sudden cry of rapture. • Oh, Frances, you don’t really mean it?” “Yes, I do,” bravely uttered Frances. “But mother wou’t consent.” “I will see to that.” Ouce more L zzie showered soft, want, kisses ou her sister’s cheek. “Oh, you darling! you sweet guar- diau angel! ’ she cried, “And I am a selfish little beast to allow you to sacri¬ fice yourself in this outrageous fashion. But if you knew how 1 have longed to escape from this dreadful groove of housework and sewing and buttcr- making!” “You shall escape, Lizzie,” said Frances. And no one ever knew the bitterness of the tears she shed when L’zzio went to Albany. Mrs. Crest remonstrated stoutly, but Frauces held to her own way, and L z zie’s entreaties were not to ba with¬ stood. ‘■Frances don’t care,” pleadedshe; “Frances always was a human icicle. And I’m so much younger than sho is, and—and ” “And so much prettier,” quietly spoke tho cider sister. “Yes, Lizzie, dear, I know it. ” Lizzie laughe 1 and tossed her golden curls. “At all events,” said she, “I think i ous i lt to have a fair chance.” Lizzie’s letters from Albany were full of life aud sparkle. Sie was like a bird i ct i 003e . Everything was couleur de rose to her. The gay streets wore a dream of delight; the opera was an actual reality. Her new dresses fil.ed her with delight; she was improving so, fast in music and drawing, and she could not imagine how sho had ever lived all those dreary, dragging years in the old farmhouse at him;. “And, best of all, Siephea Ellsworth had been so often to seo her, and taken her out s oighing and to the picture galleries and theatres, “all on dear old Frances’s account, of course, ” she added, with a spice of merry mischief. She could not say enough in praise of Stephen Eitsworth. He was so hand - some, so stylish; the old Els worth mansion on State street was so elegant; ho sent her such exquisite cut flowers and baskets of fruit! And Frances, reading those letters at home after her day’s work of school- teaching was over, tried to rejoice in her young sister’s happiness. “M ither,” Bbc said one day, “1 should like to see the child in her new dresses. I think I’ll go up to Albany and surprise her. Lucy Lampson will take the school for a week. Dear little Lizze! how astonished she will be.” “Wife,’’said Farmer Crest hoarsely, when Frances had gone u i to bed, full of her new plan, “I don’t know’s we ought to let her go.” 4 ‘Why not, Obed?” “I saw Dr. Jones’s son this morning. He is just home from the Albany medi¬ cal college, and he says every one is talking of our Lzzie’s engagement to Cap’u Ellsworth.” “(Joed Crest, you’re a-dreamin’l ’ “I wish I was, wife, I wish I was! But it’s only wiiat we’d ought to have expected. Lizzie is as pretty as a pie- ter, and ai frothy as a bowl o’ soap¬ suds, and brimful o’ mischief into the bargain ; au l Ells worth s only a mortal man after all. Fiances ought to have married him a year ago, when lie wanted hor to do so, only she wouldn't leave us until we’d paid the mortgage on the farm, and got even with the world.” “Bit, Obed, what are wo to do? I can’t tell her,” sobbed the old lady. “Nor I, neither. There’s no help for it, wife; she’s got to find it out herso.f. ” And he let his wrinkled forehead fall into his hands with a groan. Just then the door opened. A tall, slight figure came in like a gliding shadow. “I’ve beard it all, father,” said Frances, and you mustn’t blame either S.ephen or Lizzie. It—it was only natural. He has grown tired of wait- ing for me. And Lizzie is very lovely. I can’t blame any man for wanting to mako her his wifo. I shall go to Al- bany> aU the samej and tell them not to m j n d me . You know,” with rather a p orced sul iie, “people always said I was cut out for an old wa d. And—and— we three can be very happy here at home all our lives long, em’t we?” Aud here poor Frances broke down, and cried bitterly. • Don’t mind me,” said she. ‘I shall bc quite used to it after awhile.” It was a brilliant January afternoon _the grourid covered with snow, the sun shining wilh arctic splendor, and all the streets musical with the j y( u i-hirne ot sle -a wl “—-v i -n F -neei Cr st arrived at Mrs. R gaoy s houu i.i Aibauy- GA., MONDAY, MARCH 24.1890. “Why—Frances—Crest,” ejaculated tho good lady, “is this you!” “I came to surprise Lizzie, Aunt Josie,” said the traveler, smiling faintly. “Well, it will bo a surprise," said Mrs. Iltgney. “Go right up, dear. She’s iu the parlor with-’’ “With Capt. Ellsworth?’’ “How on earth did you kuow?” cried tho comfortable elderly lady. “Has she written to you?" “No, not a word,” Francos an¬ swered. “But I know it all, neverthe¬ less.” She went on, aud knocked at tho parlor door. “Come in!” called Lizzie’s sweet so¬ prano voice; and, with a sudden quick¬ ening of tho licait, she obeyed. Was that little Lizzie standing by the fire, oue dainty, slippered foot on the fender, her glenmiug silken gown held by a slim, white hand, while her ex¬ quisite profilo was outlined agaiust the ruby velvet of the lambrequin? She looked more like a princess—a fairy queen. In this atmosphere of change and happiness she had fairly blossomed out like a rose in mid-Juae. And that tall figure in tho shadow beyond- “Frances! Dear, dear Frauces!” Iu a second Lizzie was in her arms. “You got my letter, love—the letter I wrote to you yesterday—the letter that told you all? ’ “I have received no letter, Lizzie. I left home early this morning, but— where is Capt. Ellsworth?’ ‘ ‘Here—right before your eyes. Como here, Clarence, and let me introduce you to your new sister; for we are en¬ gaged, Frances, Clarence aud L That is my mysterious secret.” The tall figure advanced with a mili¬ tary sort of salute. It was not Stephen at all, but a taller, younger, less impressive-looking man. Frances bow T ed in a bewildered way. “Bui Stephen—where is Stephen?’ she asked. “Gone down to WoodfieUl, Frances, after you. Because he says ho means there shall be a double wedding if there’s to he a single one, and ho de- c ares he won’t wait any longer for you to make upyourmind. Audhowpuzzlcd he will be, to be sure, when he finds the bird has flown! Are you very' much surprised, Frances? But you see, Clarence is in the regular army—not a mere militia captaiu like Stephen. He is stationed in Florida, and he will spend his leave of absence with his cousins here in Albany; and so, of course, I couldn’t help getting acquainted with him, because Stephen came here every day to talk about you, and Clarence always came with h m. And—Yes, Clarence; go away now and get the flowers for the evening’s reception at Miss Bird’s, for I've got so much to say to my sister.” She dismissed her handsome lover with the nonchalance of a queen, and then showered caresses anew on Frances. “Isn’t ho splendid, darling?” she cried. “Aud only think, I owe it all ti you; for if it hadn’t been for you sending mo here, I never shoud have met him nt all. And we’ 11 telegraph to Siephen at once, and you will con¬ sent to be married at the same time with me—won’t you, dear?” “Yes, ” said Frances, her eyes brim¬ ming over with blissful tears, “I will 1” No Bank Thieves in Wall Street. Inspector Byrnes, in his “Professional Criminals of America,” gives a list of one hundred banks which thieves either rifled or attempted to rob between No¬ vember, 1862, -and February, 1885. Ten of these were in the city of New Y rk. Owing to the thoroughly efficient de¬ tective system established in Wall street, the depred itious of the bank saeaks have been summirdy ended in that lo¬ cality. These during villains are “all men of education, pleasing address, good personal appearance, and are fault¬ less in their attire.” Gold, quick, res¬ olute, and acting in concert, ono may be on the lookout, a second engaged in interesting conversation with a bank officer or officers, and a third stealthily creeping behind the counter and captur¬ ing the cash or a buudie of bonds. Or the Iasi may obtain access to tho vault, from which he purloins whatever ho may deftly conceal and carry off, while his confederates monopolize the atreu- tion of the clerks. Oae of the most daring bank snatchers in the city ef- fected two robberies in the course of a jingle day. Entering one bank he leaped to the top of a partition seven feet high, leaned over, snatched two packages of bills containing $1000 each, aud escaped. A little *u-er he climbed on the counter of baulr, captured reveral thousand dol- lars, aud again escaped. S.milai sue- ccss attended the bold miscreant in bis ub-rq ent at'emnt to e«cipe from the Court of O -norai So^sio is. Ho is now .u jail. —Harper a Mag ii.ae. THE GREAT AMAZON. Its Watershed Embraces Mill¬ ions of Square Miles. The Commerce, Forests and Cities on Its Banks. The Amazon is 100 mile* wide at its mouth. Para, tho northernmost city of Brazil, lies at the gateway of tho most wonderful river system of the world. It is the commercial depot aud distributing point for 40,000 miles of navigable water. Tho Amazon water¬ shed embraces twenty-five degrees of latitude and thirty-five degrees of longi¬ tude. Its western sources are in tho Andes of Peru and Ecuador, only a few loaguos from tho Pacific. Its northern tributaries traverse the borders of Guinea and Colombia, while midway the head-waters of the Negro mingle with those of tho Orinoco in tho western spurs of the Sierra do Pacaraima. Between most of its leading tributa¬ ries are broad stretches of impenetrable forests which have never been explored by white men. It is the Amazon alono that renders any form of government possible in the heart of South America. Within tho rango of tho 40,000 miles of navigable water settlements have been empowered to conduct local ad¬ ministration. Para, lying at the south¬ ernmost outlet of the Amazon, less than 100 miles from the sea, is tho metropo¬ lis of this wonderful valley. It is a city with perhaps 50,000 inhabitants, and with as much commercial enterprise as is possible under the equator. The commerce of the Amazon is nom- inally carried on under tho Brazilian flag. Foreigners are not allowed by law to own steamers or sailing vessels employed in inland navigation; and hence it is necessary for the English capitalists who control the carrying trade ot the rivor to assign their inter¬ ests to Brazilians. Tliero ape £orty steamers owned by an English line, which receives a large mail subsidy from tho BrazIlian Government for ply¬ ing between various ports and villages on the main tributaries; and in return for thi s financial support it is well sat¬ isfied to fly the national fhg. Another company has eight steamers, under similar conditions; and there are as many as a dozen more on the river and its tributaries which sail under the Bra- zilian flag. These sixty steamers are gradually opening the Amazon valley to commerce. Only the smaller vessels aro now running beyond Manaos at tho junction of the Negro, but next year the largest English vessels will mako regular trips to Yquitor, 3750 milei from the coast. Some of tho tributaries are only navi¬ gable for long distances at high water during certain months of the year, but the lower villages on their bauks are visited by steamer as often as once or twico a month. This river trado i) al¬ most completely in the hands of the Portuguese merchants and the mercan¬ tile houses represented at Para. Manaosi with a population of 15,000, is the most flourishing town of Para. Tho other settlements, with Jew ex¬ ceptions, are straggling villages inhabit¬ ed mainly by colored people, Indians and half-breeds. The forests of the Amazon, consist- ing mainly of hard wood, are not available for commercial requirements. The finest of rosewood aud mahogany are used there for firewood. Even if there were a demand for the hardwood lumber nt Para, it could not be logged and brought to market on a largo scale, owing to the density of the woods aud the lack of roads and clearings. The one tree which is a source of wealth in those immense forests is tho rubber tree. It is found everywhere, from the low-lying delta opposite Para to the Tapojos, the Madeira, and the Negro, and piobably thousands of miles bevon i those great tributaries. In tho interior roads are impracticable, and the rubber trees that are milked lio along the rivers, where the farms can be approached. The milk can only be drawn at certain levels of the liver, for the trunks of the trees are often fifteen or twenty feot under water after the rainy seasons. When the conditions are favorable the bark of the trees is tapped and the mllk drawn off ia cups tp bc compacted and rolled together layer by layer like a snowball. It is then cooked or 8moked ovor a firo mads o{ st ieks-a process that involves contraction in cooling and imparts elasticity to the gu b 3 taiKe—and then it is ready for shipmont to Para aad New York. The opera ij oa 0 f such farms and tho open- j Q g 0 f lJ( . w veins of trees iu tile track- j esg gwatnp3 aad forests require the emp i 07nl ent of native labor under the most inclement conditions of equatorial heat and rains. If there bc any quarter of the world where natir- -e m* t*- ci mmand inaction and i 1 l i.e’ice, it i in ihe.evost #trevC-os of .he Amuzjn.aa forest. Nowhere clso can existence bo suslalno l with so small an expenditure of effort. On an aero of cleared land beans can be raised in sufficient quantity to koop soul and body together with tho ad¬ ventitious uids of nuts and fruit from tho woods. A torpid, somnolcht exist¬ ence so cam to bo the imperious require¬ ment of the climate. Tho, Indiuis, lui.f-brceds and colored population iu tho villagoi can hvo, if they choose to do so, with what may bo described as tho minimum of human labor involved in obtaining a livelihood. Tucy in- tin ctively resist all appeals to ambition and self-interest. The efforts of rubbei fnrmcrs and agonts to induco them tc share in the dangers and labor involved in exploring the forest and striking now veins of rubber frees aro ordinarily fu¬ tile; and tho employment, of even the poorest classes of labor is carried ou under almost insuperable difficulties. —< 1\i:u> Fork Tribune. She flltl not Relish Her Grapes. Many years ago there returned from a tour abroad a young lady of Boston society, who, by dint of a courso of study in a Parisian boarding-school of high degree, and of more or less resid¬ ence among the British aristocracy, fo say nothing of a grounding in good Bostonian cultivation before she was taken abroad, had become a thoroughly polished ani accomplished young per¬ son. This young lady, who afterward became distinguished in Boston society, related an odd story of an experience at the Russiau court whiio her father was visiting 81. Petersburg. She had had the most remarkable attentions showered upon her at the Russian capital. She was modest enough to attribute these honors to the fact that sho was from the country remotest from Russia, and that Americans were at that timo quite a curiosity at the court of tho Czar. But her friends, quite rejecting this explanation, credited the preference that was accorded her to her beauty, vivacity and accomplish¬ ments. Whatever it may have been duo to, it is certain that at a state dm,ner given by one of the imperial grand dukes, the American young lady was jumped quite over the lioads of all the noble dowagers and miscella¬ neous duchesses and countosses of tho court, an 1 given a seat of honor at tho grand duke’s loft hand. As she sat ut dinner, the devoured of all devourers, and ns the end of tho feast was near, a plate of grapes was brought. -They did not apppar to be anything remarka¬ ble, but tho American girl, to whom grapes were certainly no novelty, did them the honor of helping herself to a good big bunch. Then the plate wont to the grand duko, who helped him¬ self to—four grapes! And then tho fruit was passed on to a princess of high degree, who took three grapes. One or two others helped themselves to two, and the mass of the company at the table had to be content with ono grape apiece 1 Of course the American girl had real¬ ized by this time that grapes were a pro¬ digious rarity in St. Petersburg, and wore produced at such a fabulous cost that even royalty contented itself with two or three. But in spite of the cost, she declare! that she had never eaten a bunch of grapes which sho enjoyed less than she did this one. St. Louis’ Iron Pyramid. Here is a desorption of tue wonder¬ ful structure that St. Louis proposes to build as the chiet attraction in case that city secures the World’s Fair: It is to be a skeleton pyramid con¬ structed of iron ribs or lattice work, coveriog 10 or 12 acres at tho base, with floors of iron lattice work at every hundred feot, containing gardens, cafes, restaurants, conversation rooms, etc., tho height of tho pyramid to be anywhere from 500 to 1000 feet, sur¬ mounted by a statue of liberty, also vroven in iron work, 100 feet high. Oo the sloping sides of the structure are pedestrian walks, tramways and othei modes of ascent, and iu the centre nu¬ merous elevators. Innumerable orna¬ mental features are suggested iu the wgy of electric lighting, cascades, fountains, etc. On the vast floors, of which there are to be 10 or 12, spaces are reserved for exhibits and for assem¬ bly purposes. Fireworks at a great height are to ba among the nightly at¬ tractions. The structure is to be painted silver white, and will be of immense strength and quite indestructible, aud a perma¬ nent feature and municipal attraction, and can bo seen many miles from the city. Its illumination at night with electric and colored lights is provided for on an immense scale. A Strong Combine. Eirl—I see the typewriters are form¬ ing unions all over the country. Wilson—Ind ed; I hadn’t heard it. Trade u non 1 Ear.—No; jnatr.mania'.— Pue’c. CHILDREN'S COLUMN. A MORAI. HISTORY. Blowzer and Towzer were two little geese, That is to say they were dogs, as you see; But though one was the aunt aud the other her niece, Somehow or other they couldn't agree! Couldn't agree; for though each loved tho other, No matter what came up, from tidbits to rats, If one took up one side, then one took an¬ other, And there was a fight like the Kilkenny eats. Towzer and Blowzer 1 'Twos stranger be¬ en use These doggies were lovely in every way; Were clean as two pins as to faces and paws, And brushed tlieir brown coats twenty times iu the day; Played with the other dogs gaily and sweet- iy. Wagged their small tails when tho neigh¬ bors came by, Won every heart in the village completely, And never were known to tell one little lie. But if you gave one a bite or a bone, My! what a rumpus the other w'ould make! If you should pat one small body alone, The other would whine till your poor ears would ache; Then when you turned away for a minute, They’d snarl and fight, as of reason be¬ reft, And lose all the good that the morsel had in it— So Towzer and Blowzer were both of them left! Wasn’t I right then in calling them geese? If they were loving, how well they could fare; Sharing their goodies they’d each have a piece, And often and often a little lo spare. Dear, did you ever know two little brothers Who might have such perfectly elegant times. But who* squabble—sometimes—and just worry tlieir mothers, Like the two little doggies I sing in my rhymes? Wide-Awake. — wise oi.n CAT. There were three eats iu a William street family in Norwich, Conn., and as the lady of the house concluded that one was sufficient, an edict of death was passed on the old cat and her kit- leu. The question of the manner of death was settled and chloroform pur¬ chased. Some days passed before tho cxocu- tioner could muster courage to execute the sentence aud finally tho lady put some laudanum into the cat’s milk, thinking to produce a stupor that would mako the chloroform more easy. The old cat tasted tho milk, cast hor eyes suspiciously about hor, and refused to eat. 'The kitten rushed to tho dish, but was violently knocked away by the old eat, who took a corner of a mat and covered over the dish to hide it from tho kitten aud prevent her from taking tho “medicine.” The lady could not bolieve it possi¬ ble that the act was intentional, and uncovered tho dish. The cat again knocked tho kitten from it and covered it more carefully than before. The rep¬ etition of the protective act was too much for the lady, and tho cat and her two kittens were allowed to livo. ELEPHANT WISDOM. A writer in Murray's Magazine eulogizes the intelligence and amiability of the elephant, which, ho says, has a heart, though tho way to that organ may be through the stomach, and its affection dependent on offerings of oranges, pine-apple rinds, and other refuse of fruit. An elephant employed iu Ceylon in building a large stone dam to close up a river, and thus form a lake, was one of the sights of tho place. He firs! of all drew from the quarry the huge stone that was to he used; ho then undid the chain by which he had drawn it. lie next proceeded to roll it with Iris forehead along tho narrow stone wall, or embankment, until lie had fitted it exactly into its place. On tho ono side of this wall was a precipice, on tho other a deep lake. As the stone was pushed by his forehead it would at one time incline to tho lake, at another over the precipice, but lie immediately made it straight again with his foot, lie was doing tho work of ten men, and with tho accuracy of a skilled mason. Ono day when he was at work a by¬ stander asked if ho would take up a largo sledge-hammer lying on the ground and break an enormous rock close to it. The officer in charge of the work said this was asking too much, but tho mahout who heard the conver¬ sation, replied gravely: “Boipbera can and will do every thing he is asked.” Ho then said some¬ thing to the elephant, who took up the iledge as if it were a feather aud knocked the stone to pieces. “Now, tukeyour pipe and smoke it,” said the mahout, upon which the ani¬ mal stuck the sledge in iris mouth and walked eff with it. In love, feel that you owo so much that you cannot pav all at once; be always paying, us you aro ala a » gwmg. NO. 12. Mamma’s Good-NIglit, Mamma loosens the baby’s frock, And takes off each little shoe and sock She softly brushes the golden hair, And pats the shoulders, dimpled and barat She puts on the night-gown, white and long, Humming the while an evening son “Daytime is over; Playtime is closing; liven the clover Is nodding and dozing. Baby’s bed shall be soft and while, Dear little boy, good-night! good-night!” Mamma kisses the littlo pink feet, Amt the tiny hands so dimpled and sweet, The rosy cheeks and the forehead white, And the lips that prattle lrom nioru till night; With a last fond kiss for the golden crown Gently and softly she lays him down, And in the hush that the twilight brings She stands by her darling's bed and sings: “Over the billow Soft winds are sighing; Round baby's pillow Bright dreams are flying. Here comes a pretty one, sure to alighl! Dear little boy, good-night! good-night!” —JjWom 0. Bwnttead. HUMOROUS. When a man is un lor a cloud the *il- vor lining i3 generally on the other side. “I have obtained all the infoi mat ion I desire on that point," remarked the man who sat down on a pin. “Butter," says a learned writer, “was unknown to tho ancients.” Then some of it cannot be as old as it seems. Ill times like tlieso the doctor skilled His hopes of curing offers. His pockets are with money filled Drawn from the public coughers. • Thompson (proudly)—Ribmson, you see that guu? My wife killod a bear with that once. Robinson—Ah, in¬ deed! What was she shooting nt? Minnie—Lrt’s soo, dear, what i* that sentence about spoiling the Egypt¬ ians? Mamie—I don’t know. I’m sure, though, that it has no reference to the mummies. “I thought you were going to marry Miss Goklthwaitc.” “Her family were all opposed lo it.” “Well, hut if the girl herself—” “I said all tho family. She was ono of ’em.” Old Gentleman (giving tramp a cent) —And now, my man, what will you do with this money? Purchase bread! Tramp (sarcastically)—Nawl I’m goin’ ter drink myself to death with it! A facetious Brstonian, who has occa¬ sion to send postal cards to a certain small city where there is a postmistress, writes this legend on the top of the card: “Fleam forward after perusal.” Edison’g Active Brain. After tho death of Gonora! Grant, Oito von Bismarck wai supposed to be the greatest smoker among famous men, 1 but Inventor Edison has put tho great Prussian into tho second rank. Tho inventor smokes almost all tho time and never any except tho strongest cigars. Making bolievo that he is ten times more doaf than ho is, and smoking 15 or 20 jet black “long nines" a day, aro his amusements. *But there is less of both fun and pretense about E lison,’ than tliero is about any great man of tho day. He literally works all tho time that he is awake. For him to seo any mechanical duvieonHad or give an¬ noyance is enough to set his brain at work devising an improvement upon it; it makes no diffirenco whether it is a patent match that doesn’t always light, or a toboggan that lies idle waiting for snow and ire. Coming over from Eu¬ rope last fall ho noticed that there was a great deal of guess-work and inac¬ curacy about “taking tho sun” in cloudy weather. Before he left the ship he invented a means to take tho sun, though it should ho obscurol by tho densest fog imaginable. — Chatter. An Angry Tree. There is a spocios of acacia which is commonly culled the angry (roc. It reaches tho height of eighty feet after a rapid growth and somewhat re¬ sembles the century plaut. Ouo of these curious plants was brought from Australia and sot out at Virginia, Nev., where it hat been seen by many porsons. When the sun sets the leaves fold up and the tender twigs coil tightly, like a little pig’s tail. If tho shoots are han¬ dled tho leavci rustle and move un¬ easily for a time. If this queer plant is removed from one plot to another, it seems angry, and the leaves stand out in all directions liko quills on a potcu« pine. A most pungent aud sickening odor, said lo resemble that given off by rattlesnakes when annoyed, filh the air, aud it is only after an hour or so that the leaves fold iu tho natural way. » The True Ring. Mother—Geraldmc, was that letter vou received this morning from Mr. Yon Riche? “Yes, roa.” “Well, did its wording have the true ring?” •Yes, rn-—a tp’endid engagement l ling." — JSurr.etoxH JJeratJ.