The Enterprise. (Carnesville, GA.) 1890-1???, March 31, 1890, Image 1

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VOL. I. I Man Is Like a Ship. 1 taw * freighted ship come in From off a distant cruise, I heard the glad aud merry din JChat spread f.ll the welcome new* I|aw how the people ran, I saw the colors dip— For every ship is like a muu, And man is like a ship. I saw a ship on a foreign shor* 5Vrecked by an angry wave, Its sailors ne'er could roan it mor The ocean was their grave; But no one came relief to plai) No colors flew to dip— For every ship is like a man, And man is like a ship. —Donald II. JIT Gregor. EOSINE’S E0MANCE. nr KATE XT. CX.EARY. When Miss Magnolia carefully with- Orow the dress from the great cedar trunk, unpinned the old damask table- pi oth which enveloped it, and spread out its shining folds for the admiration of her niece, Rosine, that young lRdy clasped her pretty hands and quoted Ecat3. “ ‘A thing of beauty is a joy forev¬ er 1’ ” she said. Miss Magnolia nodded aud smiled. She was altogether unlike the large, fair, splendid flower, after which she had been christened—almost grotesque¬ ly unlike, in* facL She was small and round, and brown, as a maiden lady of a decidedly certain age could be. In- deed she reminded one of nothing so touch as a little russet apple. B it her heart, which had boen full of senti¬ ment once, was a warm and sensitive organ still. And she took a deal of interest in R isine’s romance. “Yes, my dear, it is a thing of beauty! And to think 1 never wore it but twice. Dear, dear!” And she Went on stroking the primrose sati i, tenderly as a mother touche* the hair Of a child. “You had a lover then, auntie? ’ asked Rosine. “Yc3, pet, this is one of the dresses I got for my marriage. But ho went away,—an business, he said. And lie never came back. Hastily she wiped her eves lest a tear should stain the shimmering stuff she held. “It is just the gown for your fancy dress ball,” hnrried on Miss Magnolia. “A trifle short, of course, but there i* quite a piece turned in at the top that you could let down. You shall go as a lady of long ago.” “Not so very long ago,” protested Rosine,- with a laugh. “But really, auntie, I don’t like to take it. It is too lovely! ’ “Not for a raiment of war! Remem¬ ber you are going o conquer the dragon!’’ “That is so. And the master should have written, ‘Thrice is she armed who Wears a pretty dress! ” The foe against whom Miss Rosine Wilde purposed arraying herself was tho obdurate une'e of her handsome lover. Most promptly and perversely had he opposed the marriage of his nephew. The young fellow would have ignored the refusal of his relative, were it not the old gentleman had always been very kind and good to him; had indeed taken the place of his dead father to him. So he decided that Rosine should meet his uncle .and put his prejudice to rout. “He is coming to visit an old friend of his,” Cyril had said— “Judge Cliar- treau. You know the Chartreau fam¬ ily. Of course you have heard they are going to give a fancy dress ball next month in honorof the coming out of their daughter, Lissette. You will receive a card. You will attend. You will meet Uncle Albert. And you will take his heart by storm.” Hopefully had he planned his scheme; enthusiastically had he explained it. But Rosine protested. It wa* to be a grand ball, and she had nothing to wear. Besides, she did not flke the idea of plotting to make a person like her. “Bless you,” cried Cyril, “he doesn’t dislike you. I don’t believe he even knows your name. His resentment is general, not particular. As- soon as I told him 1 was in love with a Southern girl, he—he (1 have to drop into slang, Rosine)—he sat square down on me. It seems a Southern girl jilted him when he was young, and he is bound to save me from a like awful fate, But when once he sees you, he is bound to capitulate. He is a regular old brick— Uncle Albert.” “But I have nothing to wear. Aud, what I* more, I can’t buy a drc3» for the Chartreau ball, We—Aunt Mag- nolia and I—are poor as the proverbial church mice.” But just then Miss Magnolia came to Rosine’s relief like a regular little fairy- godmother. “Tiio very thing!” she cried— ,l my primrose satin!” R -sine regarded her dubiously, de¬ lightedly. hH w H hrj J L P3 * J o Ph m Jealously she knew had her aunt al¬ ways guarded her trunkful of treasures, her jewels, her laces, her rich, stiff, glistening old brocade*. “Do you mean it, auntie?" Miss Magnolia’s bright old eyes winked very rapidly indeed. “I do, my dear! I was young myself once." And that was how Rosine Wilde came to be the belle of Madame Char- treau’s fancy dress ball. The proposed festivity had been the talk of New Orleans for several weeks. Tho night long anticipated was cool, crisp, sweet and pearly. Brilliantly lighted was the broad-balconied old residence on St. Charles street. Many a carriage rolled up, rolled off. When llosine descended from the barouche of her chaperon she felt a little nervous, a little elated, and conscious that sho was looking uncom¬ monly well—as indeed she was. Quite a picture was the pretty young figure, in the clinging gown of pale yellowish satin, picturesquely puffed and quaintly fashioned. The corsage, cut roundly, revealed the firm, full throat. Dainty mouscskin swathed the arms, which, if slender, were also exquisitely rounded- And the small, olive-tin ted faco was lit to loveliness by pansy-black eyes. A flash of adoration succeeded the serene nonchalance of Cyril Rodney’s counte¬ nance, as he caught sight of her. He made his way to her side. “Queen Itosine!” he murmurod. “I wonder if you know that you're by far the prettiest girl here to-night! Poor Uncle Albert!—how complete will be his surrender! Now, prepare to face the music!” And off he wentl He soon returned. By his side was a sturdy old gentle¬ man. Rosine’s heart beat more rapidly. “The dragon!” she said. Silvery hair had the dragon. A dark mustache had the dragon. A florid complexion had the dragon. And a manner that was grave, dignified, cour¬ teous. “Uaclo Albert,” explained Cyril, with boyish eagerness, “this is Miss Rosine Wilde.” Wilde! The old gentleman started perceptibly. He looked at the blush¬ ing girl—at the yellowish gown. Ho bowed. “And,” avowed young Rodney, sending his sweetheart a swift smile of encouragement, “and—the young lady of whom I spoke to you.” “Oh!” exclaimed Albert Ellsworth. Then interrogatively: “Wilde? Was your father’s name Ciayton Wilde?” Rosine assente f. “And your mother’s maiden name was Magnolia Kingsley?” “Oil, dear, no! Aunt Magnolia “was never married. My mother’s name was Madeline Kingsley.” “Eh?” cried tho dragon. The florid color had faded from his cheeks. He wa* tugging nervously at his mustache. lie looked agitated,per¬ plexed. “My mother died ten years ago,” said Rosine, “and since then I have livel with Aunt Magnolia.” Mr. E isworth regarded her grimly. “Is that,” he asked abruptly, “your aunt’s gown you have on?” Tho soft rose-fire in the girl’s cheek deepened. “How in the world did you know?” she counter-questioned. A queer, wavering smile was his only reply. A constrained siletlco en usd. Cyril gave his uncle an astonished glance. “So Magnolia is an old maid?” said Mr. Ellsworth, abruptly. “If she is,” cried Rosine, stung to defence by a remark sho chanced to consider rude, “it is because she was true to a lover who proved unworthy of her!” “Eh!” ejaculated Mr. E.Isworth, more sharply than before, And sud- denly he turned and walked away. The following day he insisted on ac¬ companying his nephew to the gaunt, ramshackle, once aristocratic old home in the French quarter, where dwelt Rosine. As they were passing the vaulted entrance to the little flagged court-yard, Albert Ellsworth caught sight of a familiar figure moving among the potted palms and b 'xes of blooms. “Go on, lad!” he said to Cyril. He had paused, and was looking through the brief avenue of gloom to the bright- ne3s beyond. Cyril was about to question this new vagary, when the thought of a peculiar possibility made him catch his breath and do as bidden, He knocked at the barred black door, and was admitted to Rosine’s radiant presence, And mean- while his uncle went into the court- yard. The little old lady standing by the banana tree looked up at the sound of the step on the stones. “Magnolia'” ho cried. Mtse Magnolia gazed at him in a dazed, half-frightened kind of way. Did ghost 3 ever appear in the daytime? Stouter than he whom she hai known, anq with hair grown gray. But the CARNESVILLE, GA*. MONDAY, MARCH 81.1890. sauie. Around her, in a fantasti* dance, the broken fountain, tho long- leaved banana tree, and the giant ole¬ anders went whirling, She didn’t faint, but she came uoarer to it than sho ever had como in her life. “Did you think I ha l desorted you Magnolia? When I loft you to go North on businejs, I believed in you as I’ve never believed in any one since. And while away I hoard, and ro ad, that you had married that young Wilde I used to be so jealous of. So 1 went to Europe. And I stayed there.’’ “But Clayton Wilde married Madeline. I always told you ho came to see her.” “Yes, I know that—now. I was a fool to have been so easily convinced of your falsity. You haven’t changed a bit, I knew you the moment I saw you.” Miss Magnolia smiled delightedly. Sho did not know he had cxpcctod to see her. • “I never forgot the dress you wore the la*t time I saw you,” declared Mr. E Isworth, waxing fervent. “I recog- niz d it on your niece last night." “Last night! Are you—surely you are not the dragon 1” “Wh-at?” “The—tho dragon!” faltered Miss Magnolia. Mr. Ellsworth still looked blank. “That,” murmored the littlo lady, feeling sho was in for it, and- might a3 well make a clean breast, “was what Rosine and I cilled Cyril’s uncle. And llosine was going to conquer him. ” Ho burst out laughing. ( ( Well, she did. The boy shall marry Madeline’s pretty daughter. And you, Magnolia,—you’ll marry me!” “Oh, dear, no! I’m too old." “Not a day.” 1 ‘And ugly—n ow,” “Loveliest woman in the world to me,” insisted the dragon, loyally. “Bless you, my children!” cried a voice from above. The pair in the court-yard glanced up. On one of the inner balconies, stood Rosine and Cyril. “Vanish, you scamps!” roared the dragon. “I shan’t allow you to marry a South¬ ern girl, sir!” shouted back Cyril, as he and Rosine beat a brisk retreat. Laughing and breathless they faced each other in the old drawing-room. “Everything’s lovely, sweetheart!” cried Cyril, in an ecstacy. Rosine looked deliciously doleful. “That’s just the trouble!” with a pout so provokingly pretty that her lover kissed her there and then. “If he had only remained hard-hearted, like the uncles in novels, we could have run away, and lived in a cottage *bow- crod in roses, and covered with thatch!’ There isn’t a bit of romanco when everything turns out so beautifully—all at once.” “You little hypocrite!” he said.— The Ledger. The First Ice in India. When one of the first importations of ice from America arrived, in India it was most amusing to see the anxiety with which it was sought after. The deposits were only open for a short time before sunrise, when crowds of coolies were in attendance to carry off the portions required by their em¬ ployers; these portions were immedi¬ ately enveloped in thick blankets and inclosed in baskets, which were carried off with all speed; but a very con¬ siderable quantity invariably dissolved before they could reach their respective destinations, says the New York Ledger. Two or three natives crowding round a basket, which hai just arrived, were eager to touch the novelty; but im¬ mediately on feeling its extreme cold¬ ness they ran away, exclaiming that it was “hurra gurram”—very hot. A child, too, cried violently, and told his mamma that the “glass had burnt his fingers.” It was not a little surprising, on several occasions, to see the ice brought to the table as tiie greatest possible luxury, and handed around to persons to mix with their wine, which although cooled with saltpetre and glauber salts, had not attained a much lower tem¬ perature than that of new miik. The ice in question was taken out to India a* a means of preserving a large quantity of American apples in good condition for the Calcutta market, when the ice unexpectedly proved a more lucrative species of merchandise than the fruit. A Shifting Bullet in a Man’s" Head. For over twenty-five years Fletcher Wright, who lives near Dawson, has carried a bullet in'his head, a wound received in one of the battles in Vir- giffia. This minic-ball shifts about, at one time in the front of his head, at another time in the back. At times this bullet gi-os Mr. Wright much un¬ easiness wh.le at work in the field by its shifting about and the rattling noise it made in the head.— Macon (Gra .) Telegraph. PILOT’S PERILS Dangers Incurred by Men Who Board Incoming Vessels. Notable Disasters In the Last Fifty-two Years. “We never know when our time is coming.' Wo never, know when wo start out on a cruise whether or not wo will ever sec homo and family again.” Tears filled tho speaker’s eyes. He was bronzed and grizzled and strong, a man not given to sentiment, but there was a world of pathos in his words, and his lips quivered ns ho spoko. His name was John Cnnviu, Jr., gaudy Hook pilot. He sat in a shipping office on South street, awaiting tidings of the then unknown pilot, who was swept off the icy deck of tho bark E l- wnrd Cushing, after he had boarded her and was bringing her into port. An hour passed and tho tidings came. Tiie man aroso from his chair, heard only enough to confirm hi* fears, ami hastened to the street. Ho was no longer John Canvin, Jr., but plain John Cimvin. The uuknown pilot who had been swept into an angry sea was his father. There are only two or three previous cases on record where a pilot has lost his life after boarding an incoming ves¬ sel. Nearly all, however, of the many accidents to pilot-boats are accompanied by loss of life. Tuo first recorded disaster of noto was the loss of the Franklin in 1838. She was driven ashore in a gale and all hands were lost. The following year both tho Gratitude and the John McKean were lost. Four pilots perished on the former, and the after lost six men. The New Orleans ship John Minfcurn was driven ashore on tho Jersey coast February 17, 1840. Forty-two porsons lost their lives, including Pilot Thomas Freeborn. His was among tho bodies recovered, and his funoral was one of the most impressive ovonts ever known to pilots. A procession of fifteen pilot-boats, with sails hoisted, ensigns flying and all their pilots aboard, went up and down the bay in tow of the steamer Mercury. Freeborn was one of the best-known pilots o> the day. In 1852 nine lives were lost on the pilot-boat Commerce, No. 3. In De¬ cember of the same year Pilots Henry Budd and Robert Curtis were drowned in a yawl after leaving the pilot-boat Yankee. In 1853 the Sarah Frances, No. 7, went down with all on board, and the Jacob Bell, No. 4, met a simi¬ lar f^te during March of the following year. On January 10, 1856, the C. K. Col¬ lins, No. 11, ran ashore on Fire Island bar, and four of the crew were frozen to death. A fifth was washed over¬ board and drowned. Nine years later a similar accident befell tho George Steers, No. fi, at ftarnegat Island. Every man of her crew perished from the cold. Ten men were lost in 1679, on the pilot-boat Columbia? No. 8, which was run down twenty miles off Fire Island, in a heavy gale by the Alaska, tho first of the ocean greyhounds. The pilot-boat Francis Perkins, No. 13, struck a wreck and sank off Barnc- gat Shoals on Jan. 24, 1887. Pilots Walter A. Iteddin and William Dalton were drowned. During the famous bli/.zard of March, 1888, the Phantom, No. 11, and tho Enchantress, No. 18, were lost with all hands. Last year two pilot-boats were lost, the Bateman, No. 11, and the Charlotte Webb, No. 5. Two lives wore lost with each boat. This is only a partial list of some of the more notable accidents to pilots and pilot-boats. A complete list of such calamities would be a long and appall" ing on c.r—Neu) York World. Knew What He was About. Monsieur wanted the picture hung to the right; madame wanted it on the loft. But monsieur insisted that the servant should hang the picture accord¬ ing to his orders. Consequently Joseph stuck a nail in the wall on the rigid, but, this done, he also want and stuc k another in on tho left. “What i* that second nail for?” his master inquired iu astonishment. “It is to save me the trouble of fotching the ladder tomorrow when monsieur will have come r ound to the views of madame.”— London Punch. Singing <o Some Purpose. Minister (to Choir-master)—“The music went splendidly this morning.” Choir-master—“Ye*, I flatter mysolf it did.” Minister—“lam glad tosoo tho lingers give-their whole energy to the important religious work. There is no deception in such singing as that.” Choir- master_• ‘Well, no, I should say not. You see, Mr. Thumper, I told the choir last night that an operatic manager would attend church to-day for the purpose of finding some good Voices. Christian Begieter. A Monster Freight Car. At the Fitchburg railroad car shops in East Fitchburg, Mass., one of tho largest and strongest flat freight cars ever built for the road has just beon fin¬ ished. It is a special car built to carry a largo wire cable weighing 05,000 pounds from Worcester to a mino nour Denver, Col. Tho car is 28 feet long, 8 feet 8 3-4 inches wide, has eight sills running lengthways, each 4 3-4x11 inches, end sills 9x9 inches. Tho floor of tho car is covered with 2-inch oak plauk. It lias two trucks with three pairs of wheels each—the trucks and journals weigh about twico as much as those on a common car. The axlo is 5 1-2 in dies in rtinmotcr, the bearings 4 1-2x8 inches; tho beds, two to each truck, aro made of oak timbers bolted together, with two 3-4-inch flat irons between, making a solid bed 9x13 inches square. Tho swing log is made in a similar manner, with heavy flit iron between, making tho log 8x161 inches square. The center bolt is two inches in diameter. There are four iron trusses on each bod that havo each a capacity of holding 24 tons. Tho car is supported underneath by four heavy bolsters, strongly bolted to tho sills with flat irons, fx5 inches. The center bearing, which rests on tho center bed, is 4^x14 inches, aud is supported by two heavy iron trusses made of 5-inch flatiron. Tho truck and journals are ail more than double the size aud weight of tlioso on a common car. Tho car is equipped with the Westing- house air-brake and the common hand wheel brake. The draw-bar is one of Snfford’s patent, works automatically, is made of malleablo iron and is easily worked. The Fitchburg Sentinel says the car is built of tho best material, in a most thorough manner, by skilled workmen, and will bo rated to carry 100,005 pounds. A common car is rated to carry 45,000 pounds. A New Use for Insects. The use of insects for sport has hith¬ erto been confined to more or less suc¬ cessful imitations of their bodies and wings. We do not know that they have had any serious industrial purpose, un¬ less the weevils of the ship-biscuit and the mites of the cheese may bo counted. What work they did in tiie economy of nature, as of bees carrying pollen aud flies infectious matter, Darwinism has sufficiently advertised. But Lord Wal • singham announces another departure to the Entomological Society, which is not new among the vertebrates though it is to the insects. We aro familiar enough with the idea of cats catching mice, terriers worrying rats, hounds de¬ vouring foxes, and being set aside for that purpose. As yet we have not suc¬ ceeded in introducing a blue bottle who could chase away the smaller flics, or a perambulating wood-worm who could silence tho sounds of the death-watch. But there is still hope. Ten thousand parasites were convoyed from Australia and put upon the backs of the Cali¬ fornian scale insects, which had been eating up all tho orange trees. The latter were worried to death; the oranges were saved, and tho immigrants will probably bo sent into the Chinese quarter of San Francisco, in the hopo of achieving similar result*.— London Graphic. Opposed to Theatre-going Clergymen. Queen Victoria appears to have a prejudice against clergymen who go to the theatre. She is said to have struck out the names of clergymen from the lists of her guests invited to see tho theatrical representations at Osborne, whereupon the London correspondent of the Liverpool Mercury remarks: “Her Majesty proves by this exclusive¬ ness that she is not in touch with tho new tone in clerical circle*. When Dean Milman went to tho theatre some 40 or 50 years ago, ho was supposed to have created a shocking scandal. Now most of tho clergy go to the theatre and think nothing of it. I saw a Bishop in the stalls, it is true, but I have soon an Archdeacon. 1 have talked with a Dean on the stops of the Lyceum Thea¬ tre; and as for curates, why the London curate is, as Voltaire said of tho prophet Habbakuk, capable du tout. Fixlng tho Styles of Hats. Tho method of fixing tho styles in hats is said to be this: The best hat manufacturers in tho United States are members of the American Hat Manufac¬ turers’ Association, which has its head¬ quarters in New York city. The asso¬ ciation meet* in New York on tho sec¬ ond Tuesday of January and August aud adopt* the spying or fall style of silk hat. Every silk-hat maker present submits a style or design, and, when all are submitted, the association votes for the different designs, which are num- bered. The number receiving the high- est number of votes is declared the style. Of course, erery manufacturer can put out styles of his own if he choose*, but they are not likely to find a sale. • SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS. Th# crematory has now taken the place of the potters’ field in Purls, All unclaimed bodies are cremated at the new ostubl islimont in Pore la Chaise. Tho “pulsion tclcphono” has two simplo instruments connected by a non- insulatod wire which may bo slack and also may bo buried in tho earth. A now explosive is claimed to have greater violonco than any yet discovered and to bo iusensitivo to percussion. It is smokeless and is as nearly noiseless as explosives can bo. Tho “tercentenary of the invention of tho compound microscope” will bo celebrated by a universal exhibition of botany and microscopy, to bo hold at, Antwerp daring tho present year. Tho now drug jaborondi has boen found to promoto the growth of hair, aud even change its color, It can be used only under medical advico. For certain hair disoasos it is a good spe¬ cific. A new instrument called the telc- graphono enable* tho sender to record his message on tho cylinder attnehed to tho receiving instrument in the abscnco of any one to hear it, and then to havo it repeated to insure its correctness. In late French experiments, a pres¬ sure of sovernl hnudred tons to tho square iuch reduced discs of cork to one-fifth of their original thickness, but tho original bulk was regained in ten minutes aftor tho removal of the pressure. Dr. Cortail, the French scientist, re¬ ports a number of cases of poisoning by new potatoes. The most prominent symptoms were headache, dilation of the pupil, colic, diarrlmc r, sweating, feverishness, epigastric pain, vertigo and sick stomach. A now insulated material for electric conductors has been brought out in Germany. It consists of paper which has boen thoroughly soaked in an am- moniacal coppor solution. It is stuck to the wires, which aro then passed through a bath of linseed oil. A French practitioner, in tho course of a large number of rovacciuations, was struck with the fact that tho operation was far more successful when per¬ formed on the leg than when the arm was selected. Among 177 cases the percentage of failures was 45. 45 on the leg, as compared with 53.84 on the arm. Professor Mosso, of Turin, finds that the blood of eels is poisonous when in¬ jected into the veins of dogs and other animals, and that an cel weighing five pounds contains poison enough to kill ten men. The blood of the eel is inert, however, when taken into the stomach, and tho poisonous properties are de¬ stroyed by heat. Colonel Hart, a farmer in Bradford County, Penn., has discovered a de¬ posit of mineral paint on his land and has given an option to a Portland (Mo.) syndicate to purchaso it for $2505. A geologist who examined it reports that there aro at least 200, 000 tons of tho substance, and that beneath it there is a bed of lino polishing putty. A factory will bo ereored, of which Colonel Hart will be superintendent. Bush-Farmers’ Houses. Tho bush-farmer in the North Island of New Zealand builds his own house of totara slabs, with the rugged brown bark loft on, and a good roof of thatch, made of tho rushes which abound on the edge of the bush. Timber costs nothing, so ho need not stint himself for space. He generally begins with four good-sized rooms, besides a loft overhead and a cook’s hut outside. Ho makes his own furniture, too, unless he has some household goods which ho brings with him in a bullock dray. Many of the farm-houses in the bush are extremely snug inside, with every domestic convenience, and all sorts of little comforts and refinements. In the rougher ones the furniture is limited to plain tables and benches of sawn tim¬ ber with bunks against tho wall to sleep in; and the cooking utensils are only two in number—a frying-pan and a “billy,” or tin pot, for boiling or stew- ing. But even such primitive habitations as these aro by no moans to be despised. They aro warm and wholesome, and, when kept clean, are really very com¬ fortable. Outside, the bush-farmer usually plants some scarlet geranium*, honeysuckles and climbing roses, which soon spread all over the house and con¬ vert its rough slabs and thatch into * bower of beauty. Food abounds on bush-farms, and the universal rule there is for men, wo¬ men and children to eat throo square meals a day. The bush is full of wild cattle, wild pig3, wild goats and birds, so that there is no butcher’s ^ to pay, and the larder is always piied with plenty of the best at cost of a charge of powder and shot.—. One) a Week- j NO. 13. Unrecognized. A seed come floating near me, A brown and paltry thing, It Heemed an idle pastime * To stay its hasty wing. Hut lo! my neighbor grasped It, And ’neath her watchful care, It grew and gave her freely A wreath of blossoms rare. And then the plant beholding^ My tears fell freely down J The seed was O, so paltry, And light as thistle down. \V hv was there none to whlspef, “Tis opportunity!” 'he bloom and fragrance yonder Would then have been forme. -Clara J. Denton , in Detroit Fret HUMOROUS. The peal of a banana has a laltlng inflection. It’s a very wiso father who knows as much us his son. When will tho authorities refuse rhyrastors a poetic license? A cloud upon a real estate title does not alway* have a silver lining. Men are like drums—tho on* with tho big head makes the most noise. A citizen of Franklin, Pa;, is taxed nino cents on real estate and $3.50 on dogs. Woman’s hand may bo pale and deli¬ cate, but she can pick up a hotter plate than a man. Thoro is hardly any man so friendless in this world that he hasn't at least ono friend ready to tell him his faults. It requires no lariII prophet to pre¬ dict that it will bo exceedingly difficult l o do away with tho tacks on cirpcts. “Anything new un lor tho sun today?” “Yes, that paint you’re sitting on. 1 painted that step this morning.” Clouds uro a good deal lilto men— they aro harmless when alono, but they make trouble when they get together. “lircad is the staff of life, you know,” said the farmer’s wife to the (ramp. ‘'I know it is,” answered the tramp, sadly; “and I know I’ve got too lean on it." Six policemen of St. Joseph, Mo., have been robbed of their boots while on duty. Sleep is a good thing, but it is costly when it is had at the rate of twenty-five cents a snore. “If it hadn’t been for me little Harry Parker would have gotten a good licking to-day, ma. He struck me, you know.” “And whnt did you do, my son?” “I didn’t hit him back." “Don’t Icel badly over what my wife said to you to-night. You shouldn’t mind what she says.” “Well, I don’t see why I shouldn’t mind what she says. I notico you always do.” We like as our companion best One who behaves at case with us, And—us the toothsome we digest— Who never disagrees with us.' The Ocean Passenger Service. Twenty-two lines of ceean steam¬ ships landed at the port of New York last year 9G, 080 cabin and 315,227 sleerago passengers, I have not the statistics of tho number of persons car¬ ried in cabin and in steerago from Now York to foreign ports, but it is probab¬ ly no exaggeration t*> say that tho for¬ eign steamship lines received upward of $30,000,005 in passenger fares alone in ouo year. Not one dollar of this groat sum was earned by an American vessel. Last year 891 trips wore made by steamers between New York and foreign ports. Of these 103 were made by tho North German Lloyd steamers, which carried 10,430 cabin and 60,. 469 steerage passengers. The Gcrman- Amcrican packet line comes next, with 80 trips, 5,306 cabin and 31,672 steer- ago passengers. The Cunard, the Red. Star and Inman lines stand noxt in the list in tho number of trips and passen- gers. Thcro will bo no exhibition on the other sido this year as there was last, but tho stcumship agents aro neverthe¬ less preparing for a great European travel, and it is not likely that their hopes will be disappointed. No Hanger. “John! Johnl Wako up!” “What is the matter, Maria?” “I hear a noise in the kitchen. Go down quick and see what it is. Maybe it’s a burglar.’* “Mrs. Billus, wbat do you consider the actual cash value of the silver and plated ware arid other siealabie article* in tho kitchen?” “There’s $10 worth at tho very least.” “Aud do you sup¬ pose, madam, I am going to run the risk of meeting an armed burglar for a pitiful, beggarly $10, madam?” (An¬ grily) “Why not, John Biilui! Isn’t your lifo insured for $5000? ’ — Chicago Tribune. An Untimely Interruption. Minnie—What made you speak to that poor beggar so sharply? Perhaps she was really deceiving of help. Mamie—Maybe she was, but she in¬ terrupted me just as J was hav.cg a good «y over the poor girl in my novel dying on t}}9 rica man’s door-step.