Newspaper Page Text
”23
-VOL. II. NO. 42.
It Is Fiiuny.
This world is very funny,
For no matter how much money
Man is earning he will spend it and be hard
up all the time.
i To his utmost he is straining
To catch lip without attaining.
Till it makes his life a burden when it should
be bliss sublime.
He who earns a thousand merely
Thinks two thousand yearly
Would be just the very figure to make hap¬
piness complete;
But his income whoa it doubles
Only multiplies his troubles,
For liis outgo then increasing makes his
both ends hard to meet.
ll is run in debt and borrow,
Flush today and broke to-morrow.
Financiering every which way to postpone
the day of doom;
S[>eiidii)g money ere he makes it,
And then wondering what takes it,
Tilt he, giving up the riddle, looks for rest
within tbe tomb.
Oh I this world is very funny,
To the average man whose money
Doesn’t quite pay for the danciug that he
does before he should ;
And he kills himself by trying
Just a little higher flying
Than is suited to his pocket and his own
eternal good. Holliday.
-[Frank E.
IN THE RAGE.
BY PAUL GRANT.
A large picnic started out from
Daleville, going to Freeliill spring,
where, beside tho spring, there was a
grove, a bandstand and a dancing
platform.
Half the village went, as is (lie way
with villagers when on pleasure they
are bent.
A long train of coaches stood ready
to take them, and the railroad officials
had put John McKee in charge of Die
human cargo, for, though a young
mail, he was reckoned as one of the
best engineers on the road: careful,
cool and quick wilted, qualities much
prized by railroad officials in this clay
of heavy damages. He had need of
all these good qualities before the day
was out, as will presently be told.
McKee had been looking forward
for some time to this picnic. Dale-
ville was liis native place, and lie had
an engagement to escort one of the
village beauties to it. He had been
half-way engaged to her, but that was
off now, a dandy drummer coining in
between them. Dazzled by liis finery
and airs Jenny considered him quite a
feather in her social, village cap, aud
McKee was very sore about it.
Of course the railroad officials did
not know of all this when they selected
him for the engineer for the run, rail¬
roads taking no stock iu love affairs.
McKee now stood in bis working
clothes, and watched tlie crowds as
they arrived and disappeared in the
train. His keen eye soon spied out
Jenny, escorted by tho dressy drum¬
mer. As he leaned out of the window
Jenny saw him. She turned away
her head and talked to his rival faster
than ever.
“All aboard I” shouted the conduc¬
tor.
McKee laid his hand ou the throt¬
tle, and the engine gave vent to an
ear-splitting scream, lie envied the
thing. He wished he could scream,
too. Then tho started oft'.
They passed through Tantou with¬
out stopping. On a siding there was
an engine all steamed up, waiting to
take out a train as soon as it was
made up. A mile or two beyond the
town McKee halted at a water station.
As the thirsty engine drank, the en¬
gineer jumped out aud peered about
to SCO if all was right.
The gay pick nickers called to each
other from the windows,laughing and
joking, whilst some of the boys felt
obliged to get out aud stretch their
legs. din and clatter the watch¬
Amid (lie
ful engineer heard a strange noise,
and, looking up the road, lie saw the
engine they had left on the siding
thundering down on them. Somebody
had fooled with the switch, and some¬
how the throttle had gotten open, and
in the temporary absence of the crew
the engine felt it incumbent on it to
join the picnic party. Another moment
and it would be on them.
McKee sprang on his engine, threw
the throttle wide, and, leaving some of
of his crew and passengers behind,
started off as fast as he could with his
human freight.
The engine behind ran along at a
moderate pace, as though, uniuvited,
it felt some hesitation in joining the
pleasure seekers. But every moment
this hesitancy lessened, and its speed
increased.
Faster and faster it came down ou
the long train, whose engine, like a
thing of life, struggled and strained
to bear it out of danger.
The astonished passengers, when the
train so suddenly started off, wondered
what was the matter. Some pulled
the bellcord, some shouted: “Slop!
Stop! The conductor, the boys
left behind.”
THE ENTERPRISE. i
Indifforont to their
McKee increased his speed every
ute.
Thou some of the passeugors
Die engino in pursuit of them,
their cries and screams rent the air.
“Oil! we are lost!”
Some were dumb with fright,
others yelled and screamed, cursed
prayed. “It is almost upon us!
help uei”
They were now running at
ful speed. The heavy train,
from side to side along tho road,
seemed liko a fugitive fleeing for
life.
Faster, faster, ever faster,
ran, but nearer, nearer, ever nearer,
came the runaway engine.
The frightened passengers now he
gan to leap from the windows, or
jun-p from the platforms. They flew
like balls through tlio air, ami went
whirling down the embankments—
that is, the men did.
The women never budged. Some
swooned, somo prayed, some threw
themselves about their tnalo compan¬
ions and wildly begged Diem to save
them.
These hapless wretches sat, some
weak with frigid, some swore, some
wept, and some hurst from the de¬
taining grasp of their female com¬
panions, and jumped oft', as lias al¬
ready been told.
The drummer did this. lie cast
Jenny’s arms with unnecessary vio¬
lence, and (lien lie burst out of a
window and was gone.
lie went hurling through Die air
like a new sort of cannon ball. lie
struck Dio earth half way down the
embankment, and rolled to the bottom,
plowing up the ground a3 lie did-
Before Jenny could take it in, lie
had vanished, for tlio flying train had
borne her on. But when sho did, she
felt shocked at liis desertion.
To think that he should leave her at
such a time! If die they must, why
not die together? Joint would never
liavo acted so! Never! Oh, John!
Oh, John!
Then she thought of McKee at the
engine. All their hope of escap*
rested on him! As she remembered
how she lutd treated him, a sickening
feeling of shame and fright, qtieerlv
blended together, came over licr.
She looked out of Die window, and
saw him looking hack, his face quite
white and set, watching their pur¬
suer.
McKee stood with liis hand on the
throttle of liis engine, desperate hut
cool. The officials knew their man
when they put him there.
He turned on all the steam ho could,
and the trees and houses by Dio road¬
side seemed to fly by him in a con¬
fused mass.
But strain and strain as they might,
the pursuing engine gained steadily
ou them.
He thought of the girl iu the rear
car. He looked out of Die window,
and saw Die engine nearly on them.
The sides of the long (rain were a mass
of weaving heads and hands. He
saw Jenny hanging out of a window.
She waved at him. “Oh, John! Oh,
John! for God’s sake, save me,” she
exclaimed.
The engine was nearly on them.
Their engine had reached her top
speed—she could go no faster.
The runaway neared them—was on
Ihem—struck thorn—and stopped.
steam was exhausted. She had run
to the last gasp.
But the train hurried on like a crea¬
ture struggling for lif:.
she diminished her speed, then
up and stopped.
They were saved!
The rescued passengers dashed out
They laughed. They wept. They
embraced each other.
“John! John!” cried they.
for McKee we would have been lost!”
They crowded around him as
leaped from his engine.
But his coolness was gone now.
shook and staggered like a drunken
man. They seized him; they
him; shook liis hands; kissed him.
“Is Jennie safe?” he asked in a
husky voice.
All eyes turned on her. The
in Jennie had died of sheer fright.
She now came forward, snatched tbe
engineer’s grimy hand and kissed it.
“My hero! My hero!” she
in a burst of hysterical joy.
But John turned away, covering
face with his hands.
“Oil, John! Oh, John!” sobbed she
and something in the tone of
vo ; ce rewarded McKee for all he had
endured.
One of the crew now manned the
runaway engine. The monster
quite helpless. Then the train
slowly to hack, pushing their late
suer before it. Stopping every
and then they picked up their
ways, some bruised, some with
broken, but none killed.
Equal Rights to all, Special Privileges to None.
CARNESVILLE, FEAN KLIN CO.. GA., Fill DAY, OCTOBER 23.1891.
TUe dromuer ImJ M. I* tr.cmrrf,
his eye bunged, and a cut ucrctt lus
face that marred his beauty.
Hut strange enough Jenny did not
view him with as much pity as John
did. llis seltish cowardice llllod her
with contempt. True, sho lmd been
equally as frightened herself, hut
that, sho said, was different. She was
a woman.
A timid woman is always hard on a
cowardly man. This is one of the
times when the old ndngo fails, ami a
fellow feeling docs not make us
wondrous kind.
The picnickers returned homo with¬
out their picnic, but with their lives,
for which tiicv were duly grateful,
having never realized their value be¬
fore.
McKeo lias never censed to rejoice
that the railroad officials put him in
charge of that train, and so have they.
And two months later, when lie and
Jenny married, they sent him a hand¬
some wedding present. — [Atlanta
Constitution.
Wild Beasts His Friend*.
Among the visitors to Seattlo the
past week was Peter Gallagher, a
randier living three miles from Ben¬
ton. Mr. Gallagher is one of the
pioneers of the sound country, and
has lived on tlio same place for 20
years or more, taking up a quarter
section as a homestead from the gov¬
ernment. By years of hard toil he
iias cleared up and improved a splen¬
did place, which though secluded from
the outside world, is a model ranch, of
which the ownor is justly proud.
Mr. Gallagher is not given to hunt¬
ing-, and does not molest wild game
of any kind, and to this may he as¬
cribed (lie tameness of a number of
animals which make the woods in that
vicinity a home. One of these, a
black bear, has for a year v’sitcd his
stockyard alino t daily and eaten with
the cattle, lying down among the
calves and displaying neither fear nor
ferocity. Mr. Gallagher goes among
the stock, and frequently passes with¬
in two or three feet of his bearship,
not only in the yard but in the woods.
lie pays no attention to the bear, and
(he latter never otters to molest him—
on the contrary eats with evident sat¬
isfaction pieces of bacon atul oilier
scraps from the table that arc thrown
out to him. The bear is a handsome
300-pound fellow, and appears to en-
joy the company of tiic cattle.
Other pets are a pair of fawns that
run around with tho young stock on
the place, eating with the calves and
lying down among them as contented
as though with their own kind. They
evidently came from the vicinity of
Cedar Lake, where considerable hunt-
ing is (lone and from which seel ion
gamc is being driven, Mr. Gallagher
says lie had rather part with the best
cow on his place than one of the
fawns. This is the second time fawns
have taken up their abode at d,j s
place, the first pair coining there
about five years ago and remaining
with his stock for two years, even
going into the stables and being
locked up over night, lie gave them
to a neighbor, who in turn presented
(hern to friends at .Snohomish and up
the Skagit.
This sounds fishy, but not only is it
vouched for, but it is further said that
wild ducks andgeese alight in his yard
and show no fear in his presence,
tl.ougli the appearance of a stranger is
the signal for flight. Mr. Gallagher
never hunts, and will not allow hunt¬
ing on liis place nor interference „ in
any way with his pets, either quadru¬
peds or winged. — [Seattle (Wash.)
Times-Press.
The Coldest Spot on Earth.
The coldest known spot on tho
earth’s surface is near Werkliojansk,
Siberia. There, it is said, “the cul¬
minating point of excessive climate in
all the world is reached.” In other
words, it is the pole of the greatest
known cold. The lowest readings of
the thermometer, taken by Sir George
Nares, were noted at Floburg Beach,
which was 81 degs. below zero, Fah-
renheit. For a long time it was stip-
posed that Yakutsk, 400 miles from
Werkhojauik, was tho coldest place in
the world; recent observations, how¬
ever, have exploded that notion. The
soil at both of the places above men¬
tioned is frozen to a depth of nearly
400 feet. It is believed to have been
deposited in a frozen state during the
glacial epoch, as no amount of cold
could penetrate the earth to such an
enormous depth.—[Harper’s Young
People.
Attention.
7 Is he attentive to you?”
7 Oh, very; lie has been reading
poetry aloud to me all (he afternoon.”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Ob, yes, very much, He didn’t
wake me up hut twice.”-lNew York
Herald.
| I ONYX QUARRIES. ^
Missouri is the Great Producer
; of This Valuable Stone.
;
j The Ozark Mountains Almost
the Only Source of Supply.
“Most people will ho surprised io
learn that Missouri supplies tlio onyx
for the whole world, hut it, is a fact
novertlielcss,” said “Hilly” Fitzgerald,
a well-known official around tlio Four
Court* of St. Louis, who was at tlio
Grand Pacific yesterday. “And not
only does Missouri supply .the world
with onyx, but St. Louis capilnliats
conlrol this supply—that’s belter. The
onyx quarries of Europe and Asia
liavo bocuexhausted and the onyx de¬
posits of Algeria have boon consumed
long ago. For many decades the onyx
quarries of the old world were tlio only
source of supply. Hut the great de¬
mand of recontyenrs made heavy drafts
on the quarries and they soon bocame
exhausted. Thou for a long timo the
onyx quarries of Mexico supplied tlio
world, hut they liavo not been able to
meet tho demand. Tlio quantities
from this source are now greatly di¬
minished, anil it will not he long be¬
fore the Mexican quarries are also ex¬
hausted. But Missouri comes to the
front just in time, when it is feared
that the world will liavo to roll on
without any more onyx. Those new
onyx deposits have been found in tlio
Ozark Mountains in Missouri. They
appear in tho deep caverns and on the
rugged dills and ledges of the moitu
tains in Pulaski ami Crawford coitu-
ties. For a long time after the war this
wild region was only occupied by
gncrrilas and desperadoes of the James
stripe, who sought refuge in those
fastnesses after their predatory excur¬
sions in tlio settlements of civilization.
The Bald Knobbers flourished in that
region. It lias been known for some
years, I believe, that onyx was to bo
found in the Ozark*, but not until
last year did capital find its way in
there to develop the rich quarries.
I'* 10 Ozark Onyx Company, which was
recently capitalized f ir #300,000, is
composed of St. Louis inctt. Quarries
in California are controlled by (ho same
company. It lias been said that there
j aie °»y x deposits in Arizona Terri-
j * 01 T> ^. ut 110 wo1 ^ ‘ ,as cv ° l ^ ucn '' on0
»> developing them. The Arizona de-
| l )081t 8 aro * n oat-of-llic-w.i> places in
-
I the mountains far away from railroad
! facilities, and it will he several years,
j therefore, before they come into the
i market, even if tho find should prove
1 to bo rich. So, you soo, St. Louis at
i present lias the cinch on the onyx sup-
l’b’ °E die world, and is likclv to n -
,
tal11 tilis supremacy for years. The
| Ozark Onyx Company has just ostab-
j lishcd a plant in St. Louis for'dressing
a "d polishing the ornamental stone.
! The plant is valued at #75,000, and it
is the only factory in tlio United
Slates devoted exclusively to the
| polishing of onyx, Tho rock
is sawed into large slabs,
| <lien it goes through Die polishing
i process, and the rough edges loft by
| tbe Bawin*.' in arc ground is done away. with iron The
drilling the stone
a »fie‘'« having diamond teeth. Man-
‘els, wainsc dings, table tops, clock
! eases, panels and pedestals largely are Die
uses to which the stone is np-
P“ed. Not even the smallest pieces of
stone are thrown away, as they are
used in making small ornaments of
various kinds.”—[Chicago Herald.
Treatmcnt of Watches.
That a watch may keep good time,
! says Chambers’s Journal, it should he
carefully treated; it should be wound
at the same time daily, and when not
worn should he placed in the same
position, always hung up, or always
laid down, as every watch goes dif-
ferently in different positions.
In watches having a double case,
tho outer ono should never be loft
| open even for one night, the glass is
J covered with a thin film the of works dust,
which will gradually enter
through even the tiniest openings in
the case.
Watches should bo wound in the
morning,because a spring fully wound
up will more readily overcome the
disturbances produced by the move¬
ments of the wearer, Springs will
not break so easily if watches are
carefully wound up and not taken out
of a warm pocket and placed directly
against a cold wall or on a marble
slab; for that reason a protective mat
is desirable.
The changes of the oil,the variations
in temperature, the density and hu-
midity of (lie air, all greatly affect the
°* a wa,c *‘' audit is only the
watch ot io most perfect fin-
i neutralizes ad-
' i*J» which almost those
verse influences. No watch keeps
j Perectly correct time. Even the best
chronometers, used iu observatories
mid on board ships, mast bo regulated
according- to tables which ti.v tlio var¬
iation* to which watches arc subject.
A watch should bo (.leaned every
two or three yonrs. In time the oil
decomposes, gets mixed with the par-
I tides of dust which cuter tlio work»
of oven tlio best-closing watch, begins
to act as a grinding material, and
wear* out. tbo working parts. It fre¬
quently happens that a watch requires
cleaning oftener than once in two
years, especially if it closes badly Ot¬
is exposed to much dust mid dirt.
Any ono who has tlio misfortuno
to drop his watch Into water should
take it at once to the watrli-makor, to
have it taken to pieces and cleaned; a
delay of even an hour may spoil the
watch forever.
He Got the Sent.
A nice young man got into a tram
car a few evenings ago, and saw to his
delight tlio only vacant scat was by
the side of a young lady acquaintance.
Ho mad ’ for that sent with joyous
strides,and her eyes answered his with
delighted looks. But just as he got
there an elderly party walked tip ami
dropped into the coveted scat. The
young man approached more slowly
and accosted the young lady.
“How is your brother?” ho added;
“is lie able to get out?”
“Oh, yes!" she answered.
“Will ho ho very badly marked?”
ho continued, and tlio old gentleman
grew suddenly interested.
“Oil, no I” site said, “with the ex¬
ception of a few marks on his fore¬
head.”
“Were you not afraid of taking it?”
tlio young man continued, whilo liic
old gentleman broke out in a cold per¬
spiration.
“Not at all," she replied; “I had
been vaccinated, you know.”
The seat was vacated instantly, the
two innocent young hearts boat as
half a dozen, and the prattle of “nice
talk” strewed that part of the car,
while an old gentleman scowled upon
them from the distant corner.—[Lon¬
don Tiil-BiU.
Hired to Name Cars.
There is a young man in one of tho
offices of each of (he great sleeping
car companies who is engaged every
day except Sunday, of course, in
bending over an atlas searching for
suitable names for tho sleeping, dining
and parlor coaches which aro turned
out by the company. It is no small
matter when you come to understand
that every name must signify soine-
tning, and that thero are already on
tho road many hundreds of such
coaches, anil many new ones being
turned out at the rate of 200 or 300 a
year. When (he (irst sleepers were
built the owners took tho alphabet,
lettering the first one “A,” and so on
until tho alphabet run out. Then com-
monccd tlio search for names.
The first sleepers to be named were
(hose run on the Pennsylvania limited
between New York and Chicago. They
were named for the various nations,
America being the first one chosen.
The original sleepers are (those first
chosen): America, England, France,
Russia, Scotland, Germany, and so on.
Tho instruction to the young man
whose businessitis to keep up the list
is to get short names where they have
any significance, keeping in mind at
the same time those which aro most
euphonious.
Victoria’s Hindoo Guest.
The Queen of England has learned
a lesson which many another woman
less exalted has had to learn, The
lesson is this, never to invite com¬
pany unless you really desire to he-
come the hostess of the ono to whom
you have extended tho invitation.
Some months ago a formal invitation
was sent by Queen Victoria to the
Maharajah of Mysore to visit Eng-
land. It was known that the Prince
is a Hindoo, and that a Hindoo can¬
not cross the ocean without breaking
liis caste, And therefore it was
argued that Die invitation would cer¬
tainly he declined with thanks, But
the Prince is a very enlightened Hin¬
doo and has thrown to the winds the
prejudices and superstition of his re¬
ligion. lie 1ms decided to sacrifice
everything and will visit England this
autumn.—[Commercial Advertiser.
Bovine Bisection.
Down in Texas a farmer recently
sold to another farmer one-half of a
cow and then refused to divide the
milk, maintaining that he sold only
j the front half. The purchaser was
required to provide the feed the cow
consumed and compelled to furnish
water for her three times a day. Re-
cently the cow hooked a man, and the
seller made the purchaser pay the
damages claimed by the man hooked.
This a case to be ruminated upon.—
fNew York Ledger.
-•L
OFFICIAL ORGAN
—oar tub—
FRANKLIN COUNTY ALLIANCE
CUILUREN’8 COLUMN.
no THE KtllUT, U0Y8.
Are you tempted wrong to dot
Do the right, boys;
Do tlio right.
Those who ovll paths pursue
Soon or late aro sure to rue;
With the many or the few,
Always do tlio right, boys.
Aro you tempted lies to tell?
Tell the truth, boys;
Tell tlio truth.
I.iars never will succeed,
Lying must to ruin lead,
Howsoe’er the tempter plead,
Always tell the truth, boys.
— [Hev. Julius lli'igg, lu Youth's Companion
rKiEONS A1SAINST HUES.
A pigeon fancier of llnmnio, in
Westphalia,made a wnger that a dozen
bees liberated throe miles from thcii
hive would reach it in hotter timo titan
n dozen pigeons would reach their col
from the satno diilanco. Tlio competi¬
tors were given wing at, liynhern, a
village nearly a league from iiamtnc,
and tlio lirst boo finished a quarter
of a minute boforo tho first pigeon;
three oilier bees reached the goal bo-
fore tlio second pigeon, tho inniii body
of both detachments finishing altnosl
simultaneously an instant or two later.
The boos, loo, may he said to have
been handicapped in tire race, having
been rolled in flour before starting for
pit eposes of idem ideation. — [Picayune.
* A
UUNTINU GUINEA KAILS.
To find nGuinea nest was tlio vory
poetry of egg-huuiing- The creatures
aro half wild, and food far afield.
Tlio bush pasture was their chosen
haunt, and lmd such sloro of hidden
nooks, such clumps of brake and brier,
such steep grassy banks, such tangle
of sedge and dew-berry and plum
thicket, (lint wo would never have
found an egg hut for tlio bird’s queer
habit. When the hen goes to tlio nest,
her mate stands guard over her on the
nearest bare spot, and tills the ai 1
with his harsh buzzing cry.
Following the sound, wo came upon
the pair. Madame chooses her home
daintily, and deeply hollows tlte clean,
dry earth of it, Flowers often nod
above it, grass is sure to spring green¬
ly about the edge. Overhead is al¬
ways shelter of some eort, for the
maker knows instinciivoly that sun¬
shine will addle her precious eggs.
Her small cousin, the partridge, so
admires her taste that somethin:* she
decides lo share (lie nest. Sometimes,
too, a lien of independent mind comes
agrasshopporing into the bush pasture,
and puts her oggs inio such shelter.
Very often we found forty oggs to the
nest. And when we took them out:
it was always with a silver spoon.
Black mummy taught us, “Ef yer puts
ban’ in dnr, do Guinea ’ll smell it, an’
quit do lies’.” Whatever tlio reason,
tlio fact was none the loss fact.—
[Harper’s Young People.
“WHERE TIIE S1IINK COMES KUOS!.”
“Well, grandma,” said a little hoy,
resting his elbows on the old lady's
stuffed chair arm, “what have you
been doing boro at the window all day
by yourself?”
“All I could,” answered dear grand¬
ma cheerily. “I read a little, and
prayed a good deal and then looked
out at the people. There's one little
girl, Arthur, that I have learned to
walch for. Sho has sunny brown hair,
her eyos have tlio same sunny look in
them, and 1 wonder every day what
makes her look so bright. Ah, here
j she conics now.”
Arthur took his elbows oil tho shifted
i arm and planted (hem on tho windew-
sill.
j ! on?” “That ho girl cried. with “Why the brown I know apron that
: girl. That’s Susie Moore, and she
lias a dreadful hard time, grandma."
“Has she?” said grandma, “Oh,
j ! to little know boy, where wouldn’t she gets you all give that anything bright.
ness from, then?”
“i’ll ask her,” said Arthur, prompt¬
ly, and to grandma's surprise, he
raised tho window and called:
“Susie, oh Susie, come up here a
minute; grandma wants to see you!”
The brown eyes opened wide in
surprise, but the little maid turned at
once and came i n.
“Grandma wants to know, Susie
Moore,” exclaimed the boy, “wliaf
j makes you look so bright all the
time?”
“Why, I have to,” said Susie; “you
see papa’s being sick a long while, and
mamma is tired out witli nursing, and
baby is cross with the teeth, and if I
didn’t be bright, who would be?”
“Yes, yes, I see,” sa'nl dear old
grandma, putting her arm around this
tittle streak of sunshine. ’“That’s
God’s reason for things; they are, be- !
cause somebody needs them. Shine
ou, little sun; there couldn’t be a better
reason for shining than became it is
dark at hoine.’—nSnnbenni.
$1.00 PER YEAR.
Through the Wheat.
When aliecame trippinx through the wheat
It, seemed to beml to kiss her feet,
And roses nil the nod made sweet
And birds nang cheery;
The honey-been were bumming low—
(fold specs on rones white as snow,
Sweet, rones—not so sweet. I know,
An she was—Mnry !
Her footstep seemed to wnke ti sound
Of tinkling music from the ground
That, thrilled (be winds (bat whistled round
With sweet caresses.
And on her forehead, white anil sleek,
The rarest blossoms fell to wreak
Their love, and played at hide-and-seek
In her gold tresses.
Down fell the scythe upon the grass.
And: “Mary, Mnry, will you pass?”
“You're in my way,” she said: “Ala:!
I must he going!”
“Not till you pay the forfeit sweet
Of coming this way through the wheat;
Ah! Mary—lips were made to meet—
A kiss you’re owing!”
Up went the dainty finger-tips,
To shield the rich and rosy lips,
And all their red was in eclipse—
My luck seemed missing,
A moment only! then ns she
Fled like a shaft of light from me
She cried: "I paid no forfeit—see?
You did the kissing!”
—[Frank L. Stanton, in Home Mngazine,
HUMOROUS.
Better late than never—Husbands.
A round dozen—Hours on the clock
dial.
A hot weather resort--Trying to
keep cool.
Jumps at (lie conclusion—The sleepy
man in church.
Arr.li remarks—Making fun of n
bow-legged man.
He content with your iot, especially
if it’s a lot of money.
People who give themselves away
are often dear at t lio price.
Haw recruits aro like butter—»
warm tiro puts them on tlio run.
Tlio strongest blitter in tlio tub is
always the weakest in the market.
It is pastime when one misses the
train, although it may bo difficult to
determine whore the fun comes in.
The bad small boy trembles when lit
is out sailing and hears the captain say
there will soon bo a spanking breeze.
lie—Darling, this c igagcmeut ring
is wortli #350. .She—Tlio last one
I had cost #100. He—You are older,
now.
The tramp is an easy-going sort; lie
just takes tilings as they come, and if
they won’t conic lie takes them along
anyway.
First Deadly Enemy—The world is
wide enough for us both. Second
Deadly Enemy—Yes; but it is not dcop
enough for you.
The Eight, Arm and Left Foot.
The right arm is always a little
larger than the left, but the left foot
is almost always larger Ilian the right,
presumably because, while nearly
every man uses his right arm io lift a
weight or strike a blow, lie almost in¬
variably kicks with his left foot, while
(lie lounger stands on his left log and
lets his right fall easily, because lie
Ims learned by experience that this is
tlio host attiludadie can assume to pre¬
vent lassitude anil fatigue. This coti-
star.t hearing of the weight on the
left foot makes it wider than the
light, and it often happens that a
man who tries on a shoe on tlio right
foot and gets a close fit has to discard
the shoes altogether bccauso he cannot
endure the pain caused by the tight¬
ness of the left. If when riding on a
slreet car you will take (lie trouble to
notice, you will see that in laced fhocs
iliegap is much smaller on the right
foot than on (lie left, while with but¬
ton shoe* the buttons have to bo sot
hack ten li.nes on (ho left shoe to
once on the right.—[GIobc-Demo-
crat.
The Intelligent Chimpanzees.
Stanley, in liis “Darkest Africa,”
gives Emin Puslm as authority for tho
slatcmcut that the chimpanzees, which
visit the plantations of Mswa Station
at night to steal the fruit, use torches
to light the way. “Had I not wit¬
nessed this extraordinary spectacle
personally,” said Etnin, “1 should
never have credited that any of the
simians understood the art of making
fire. One of these same chimpanzees
stole a native drum from the station,
and went away pounding merrily on
it. They evidently delight in that
drum, for I have frequently i(pard
them rattling away at it in the silence
of night.”
Enterprise.
Stranger (in Dugout City, Kansas)
—it doesn’t seem as if this place could
have 20,000 population, as you re-
port,
Resident—Wall, it ain’t got quite
that much ordinarily; Yon see we
took the census the day the circus wa»
in. town. — [Neyy York Weekly. J