Newspaper Page Text
OFFICIAL organ
-or—
FRANKLIN county.
VOL. 111. NO. R
Only the Few.
msny birds in the nests in spring,
There many buds tbst a promise give,
There fire that the sing,
sre many soncs poets
But only tho few will live.
m..m ^AmLmsny « T e many children to laugh and play,
battles for youth to fight,
And brave on through the heat of
day. till night.
put only the few
There are many hearts in this world to beat,
And many eyes to see wondrous things,
And many ears to hear music sweet,
Bnt only the few have wings.
-[Mary A. Mason, iu the Independent.
A Sleighing Adventure.
That sleighing party was a one long
to bo remembered. There was a ten-
mile drive to the farmhouse of a
wealthy old Scotch gentleman. The
roads were a gleam of well-beaten
snow, the crisp air was laden with
glistening frost flakes, and a clear
moon gave a light that was so reflected
that its power seemed doubled. I
drovo the Morgan mare aud the spirit
of the occasion, with all the charm of
its surroundings, seemed to possess
her. It required no urging of voice
or whip to hasten licr gait, but from
“aunty’s” fo Die party she took us at
lively ciip. “Adonis” was out with
his blacks, bnt no opportunity offered
to try issucss and we reached the great
brick farm residence without neci-
dcuf. The Scotchman was a whoie-
smiled, jovial representative of his
i is hard beaded, soft hearted and
if u istiuted hospitality. His round,
ved face was a cheery welcome aud it
beamed that wholesome good humor
which years cannot cciipse. His
sturdy sons and handsome daughters
wero well educated and had that in¬
herited refinement which culture alone
can neve/ supply.
I had forestalled any monopolistic
designs of my big rival by arranging
for all my dances as tve drove to the
scene of festivities, and there was a
quiet satisfaction in noting that Bomo
fatality led him to ask for nearly all
the sets that I had spoken for in ad-
ranea, And how we did dancr! The
pleasure obtainable was the one tiling
sought for and it was a merry, rollick¬
ing party from start to finish. For
the venerable Scotchman, whose tegs
«eemed rejuvenated by the inspiring
music, we served such venerable relics
as tho Virginia Reel and Money Musk.
It was a sight worth witnessing to seo
him got up and down the middle and
vigorously introduce tho quaint steps
that he had learned half a century be¬
fore. His face glowed like an Italian
(uuset and bis eyes lit up with gen-
uiuo enjoyment. Once be collided
with “Adonis” and the latter made a
s m-circular fall and lauded full
length on the floor. Everybc dy
laughed, but I was tiie one whose
jocular demonstration seemed to cause
another entry in his growing list of
grievances. We ate and danced again
and it was only wheu all had realized
that we had stayed too long that tiie
sleighs were called for.
As I handed my partner into the
cutter, and while tho high-strung
Morgan was champing her bit and im¬
patiently pawing tiie snow, tiie jolly
host patled her nock, cai’ed her a
beauty, looked her over carefully and
considerately whispered this advice as
I tucked the robes about my fair cor. -
pinion: “Don’t let licr get tiic nppu*
hand, iad. Site’s welt ready for a run
if the chance be given Iter.”
1 only- laughed, said to let licr go,
and go she dil. She shot across the
broad front yard, through the open
gateway and headed homeward nt a
tattling pace. There was rare life in
the motion, tiie pure air and Die broad
stretches of silver sheen thut opened
out in every direction. Not more than
& mile had been covered when I heard
the dash of a team behind us, and
heard “Adonis” yelling to e’ear tho
w ay, “My team is running away,”
he shouted, “bnt give me tiie road and
t’ll tire Diem down.”
I was inconsiderate enough for a
woment to look upon tiie whole thing
as a rum to give him (lie load, but the
second thought was a more worthy
one, and just as the maddened black-*
were within a pistol shot I drew Die
restless mare to tho side of the road,
but even as she plunged through the
drifted snow, could not stop her. The
4 >am went by like a rocket, and just
as I was about to swing tho maro into
'ho road onco more, myself, my com¬
panion, and all the loose belongings of
the cutter were piled into a miscel¬
laneous heap. We had pitched head
foremost into au apparently bottom-
less ditch of snow, and the mere we
•truggled the deeper we seerned to go.
I had instinctively clung to the lines,
but one strong lunge of the marc had
jerked (hem from my grasp. When I
had dug lny wa y out aw ; then dug tl e
*now from my eyes, [ looked upon
'he vanishing whiil of cutter and inare,
f ,J big like an express train. I
THE ENTERPRISE.
hear her heels beating a tattoo on the
dashboard and I groaned in anguish
when I thought that I wou’d have to
settle for the cutter, and, what was
far worse, settle with my father for
runtiing away from college, running
away with his favorito mare and then
allowing her to run away. Had we
been iu any condition I would have
desperately proposed that wo two
lone creatures, out thcro in the cold
an snow, close tiie scries of runaway
incidents by running away ourselves.
I was never morn weighted down by
troubles before or since and only pride
prevented me from breaking forth
into a lamentation of freezing tears.
As the companion of my joys and
sorrow* of tiiat eventful night was
drawn sputtering and spitting snow¬
balls out of the drift, tiie first use of
her voice was to propose this conun¬
drum: “What do you think auntie
will say this time?”
I gave tbo robe a jerk that treated
ns to a temporary snowstorm and ir¬
reverently remarked: “0, auntie be
blowcd. If she Uasu’t retained enough
sense to know that wo can’t capture a
runaway horse with half a mile start,
she had better apply for a guardian,
or at least find another one for you.
If she goes blatherskiiing around this
time I’ll give her a piece of my mind.”
The bare idea of my taking that
estimable old aunt to tusk so tickled
my partner in trouble that she settled
down iuto the suow with peal after
peal of laughter that had Die genuine
ring of merriment. I was mad enough
to shoot, but what could 1 do!
“Wo have to get home,” I slated in
a dignified wny, which must have
been supremely ridiculous. “I am
perfectly witling to carry you a mat¬
ter of eight or ten miles, but that
would preclude tiie possibility of our
seeing ‘aunty’ before dinner time. If
you can modify your risibles suffi¬
ciently to walk until wc reach a house,
I may get something to take us home.
Then there were two of us mad, and
a solemn-looking procession we made
as we marched single-file up the road,
I leading with a buffalo robe, whip
and cushion secured abont my person.
“Let me carry something,” she sug¬
gested.
“Not a thing,” 1 responded de¬
cisively. “If we come across the cut¬
ter anywhere along the road, I’ll pick
that up and carry it, too.”
I hoard a smothered snicker and
ground my teeth; for did ever such
great chunks of adverse fate strike the
same man within so short a space of
time?
At length we reached a farm house
and I partially relieved my pent-up
wrath by pounding the front door.
Two or three curs made the first re¬
sponse and I was keeping them at bay
with the whip when a big, raw-boned
mail opened the door and wanted to
know “What’s this fuss about?”
I explained, and it took several
minutes to convince him that I bad
not tried to knock bis door off tiie
hinges. He was finally pacified, and,
after agreeing upon a price that was
more titan liis old turnout was worth,
prepared to take us to “amity.” His
cutter was a jumper, made out of two
saplings for runners aud thills com¬
bined, the superstructure being a dry
goods box, carved out nt Die sides
with a handsaw and nailed to the
cleats which held tiie uprights to¬
gether. The motive power was a
broken down wheezy old horse that
really wasn’t fast enough to plow
corn with. Limpoty jog he
went, the big farmer gently
plying the whip and chirruping
incessantly in a way that meant noth¬
ing. I was indulging in mental pro-
fanity while the sensible girl leaned
in one corner of the primitive struct¬
ure and saw only Die funny side of
tho situation. It was five o’clock in
the morning, that outlandish hour at
which some one is poetically described
us teliiug “the old, old story of love,”
when our caravansary drew up in
front of aunty’s. That resolution of
mine to give her back talk had com¬
pletely vanished. I was as liu in j.e as
Uriah Heap. She opened Die door and
stood there for a second like a graven
image in the.mellow J.ight of a band
lamp. Then gentle curves began to
wreath her mouth as she gathered the
Situation, laughing
Finally three of us were
uproariously, ajnl the farmer declared
that he had never before “struck sich
gol-darn lot of jdyots.”I settled with
a cheaply with
him and settled more
aunty by telling her of our adventure.
Meantime I knew that (he Morgan
had struck across the country for
mare in
hopje, and the folk, there were an
excited state of uneasiness. I left a
telegram with the clerk, to be sent as
the office opened, and then I
soon as with
went all over dreamland rnn-
horses,, a pretty gill a; d snow
awav could not
so deep that a wbohuummer
hare melted H.-[DctraRFrecP£p*
Equal Rights to alt, Special Privileges to
CARNESVILLE, FRANKLIN CO.. GA.. FRIDAY, APRIL 1.1892.
; :
z m D m WORMS.”
Insect Pests Which Sometimes
Attack Human Beings.
The Terrible Experience of a
Lady in Missouri.
So long ns tho90 objectionable
creatures known as “screw worms,"
which arc the larvae of a species of
fly, confine their attacks to domestic
animals, the damage they do inny bo
endured with a moderate degree of
patience, Occasionally, however,
they assail human beings, with the
most painful and sometimes fatal re¬
sults. The winged insect tiiuls a per¬
son sleeping out of doors and lays its
eggs in the mouth or nostrils. Stibsc-
quontly tho worms are hatched out
and proceed to feed upon the tissues.
Such u case is referred to in the last
number of “Insect Life,” published
by the Department of Agriculture.
The victim was a lady who spent
last summer on a farm ten miles from
St. Louis. Opposite the farm was a
sheep pasture. Sheep, it will be re¬
membered, are the animals most fre¬
quently attacked by screw worms.
One day Mrs. A., as she may be called,
was seized with violent and continu¬
ous sneezing tits, and in 48 hours site
was in great distress, with face, nose
and throat much swollen. The doc¬
tor, however, was unable to distin¬
guish the symptoms from those of
severe influenza.
On the morning of tho fourth day
Mrs. A.’s husband appeared early at
the doctor’s office and said with hor¬
ror that his wife had in sneezing ex¬
pelled from her nose two or three
white worms. A distinguished sur¬
geon was summoned for consultation,
and by the aid of mirrors the interior
cavities behind tho noso aud mouth
were examined. By these moans it
was discovered that small white larva;
were attachod by their mouth hooks
to the mucous membrane all over the
inside passages. Forceps and tweezers
were brought into requisition, aud
with much difficulty twenty-live or
thirty of the worms were extracted.
Considerable force had to be used, be¬
cause- chloroform and carbonized fluid
had no effect to make them loosen their
hold. Iudeed, upon being disturbed,
they would contract so as to almost
bury themselves in the inflamed and
bleeding tissues. The sufferings of
the patient from the parasites and the
surgical operations can better be im¬
agined than described.
Three times a day for as many days
tho physicians worked at the removal
of the larvae, until they had more
than 200 in alcohol. Some of these
wero taken from behind the tonsils,
entirely out of sight, by means of
peculiarly curved forceps directed
with the most accurate kno wledge of
the anatomy of the parts. In the
meantime suicidal mania had devel¬
oped and the sufferer entreated her
attendant to be allowed to end her
life. It seems to be a fact that all
persons afflicted with screw worms
requiro careful watching to prevent
suicide, which, under the circum¬
stances, is not at all surprising.
On the eight day no more worms
could be discovered and the pariont
seemed greatly relieved. The inflam¬
mation rapidly subsided, and in the
course of a few weeks recovery was
complete. In the ordinary course of
nature those worms fall to the ground
as soon as they arc full grown, go into
the chrysailis condition and come out
later in the shape of winged flies,
which lose no time after mating in
laying thoir eggs in some such suitable
place for thoir incubation as tiic nos¬
trils of a sheep. As to the origin o.
tho attack described, Mrs. A had an
indistinct recollection of having been
disturbed wh le taking a daytime nap
in a hammock, but could not recall
the fact that any insect attempted to
enter her nose. People sometimes die
from ibis complaint, while < there re¬
cover with great mutilation of tiic
parts attacked. Tiic moral of the
story is that it is not prudent to sleep
out of doors during the day with tiic
face uncovered.—[Washington Star.
Queer Theory Abont Insanity.
“There is something in the a mos-
pheric conditions that develops insani¬
ty and murderous impulses,” said a
student of human pature. “That is
my theory. It i« like the grip and
other diseases that prevail at certain
times and under certain conditions
There are all sorts of diseases and im¬
pulses in people and it only needs the
conditions to develop them. Insanity
is a peculiar disease aud to a greater
or less degree exists in a pretty large
proportion of mankind, In most
cases it is shown in a harmless idio-
gyncracy and excites no more com¬
ment than mild ridicule; but in many
cases it has a homicidal tendency that
is suddenly and unexpectedly devel¬
oped. Cun tills be through natural
and general causes or is it imitation
that produces those mind waves? 1
believe it is the former—that general
causes similar to the conditions that
produce (ho grip wave, tho cholera
wave, tho horto distemper wavo or
any otlior disease of a season also
tend to unbaianco (lie badly bid mee t
mind.
“The cases that appear in tho papers
arc not a tithe of the cases really ox-
isling. At tho Marlborough Hotel tho
other day the barkeeper showed me )
an ice pick—one of those stiletto like I
tilings with around, leaden bulb to it ■
for a handle—the same kind of a wes-
pon that was plunged into “The” Al- 1
ion. It was taken from tho pocket of
^
a negro bellboy who had been dis- ^
charged. That boy meant murder,
Half the men you meet have homicidal
tendencies at times. It is tiic nature
of man. Nothing but civilization anil
the self-control (
that comes of it pre¬
vents our killing each other on slight J
pretexts. probably The the so-called results crime of general waves j
are .
conditions that tend to throw men otf
their mental guard aud reduce them
to natural slavery.”—[New York
Herald.
Salt in the Air.
When a flash of lightning darts
through the air it vaporizes any
minute particles of floating matter
that may be in its path. By examining
the light of the lightning with a
spoctroscope tho naturo of these
vaporized substances may bo deter-
mined, because every known element
iu nature shows in its spectrum ccr-
tain lines that belong to it alone. By ^
studying the spectrum of lightning in
ibis way, W. E. \\ ood of Washing- !
ton lias recently been able to show
that sodium, which is tho element
froni which common salt is formed,
exists in the air. lie suggests various
ways of accounting for tho presence
of sodium in tho atmosphere, one of
which is particularly interesting, and
that is that it may have come there
from interstellar space. It is known
that meteoric dust is continually fail¬
ing upon the globe from beyond the
atmosphere, and if it should turn out
that microscopic particles of sodium
are included in this strauge, unending
shower with which the heavens Balutc
the earth, it would bo only another
proof of tho unity of composition that
extends from tho earth to the sun, and
from the sun to the stars.—[New
York Telegram.
Effects of the Loco Weed,
Tito loco weed is the curse of the
Southern rancher. In the early
spring, before the healthful grasses
are growing iu quantity, tho South¬
ern plains are dotted with small flat
bushes of this noxious plant, and the
cow-boys liavo to exercise their ut¬
most vigilance to keep llioir horses
and cattle from eating it. The plant
obtains it name of “loco weed” from
tho Spanish word loco, meaning crazy,
from its effect on tho animals. Any
grass-cating animal that lias eaten
much of the loco becomes thoroughly
worthless for the rest of its days.
The only cure is prevention. There
is no antidote, tho most careful analy¬
sis failing to reveal the reason of its
baleful effects, and thus giving the
veterinary no clue to work upon in
Ids attempt to cure. The actions of
a “locoed” animal are pitiful in the
extreme. He will spring wildly into
the air, strike head, neck or hoofs
against any convenient object regard¬
less of consequences; drink imaginary
water out of imaginary brooks, etc.—
[Frank Leslie’s.
Proceeds of n Jack-Knife.
Tho champion horse jockey belongs
in Belfast in the person of “Lije”
Walker. Just to give bis boy an idea
of how to get along iu tiie world,
“Lije” started away from homo one
day on foot and nothing in his pocket
but a jack-knife. He was absent just
one week and rotnrned driving a pair
of horses harnessed to a top-buggy.
Hitched to the rear axle was another
horse and a cow, wliilo ahead was a
dog. “See how your pap does it?”
said “Lije” to his son, as he gazed at
the time of day from a handsome
watch. For a fact, he had got the
whole turnout for his jack-knife, and
swopping the proceeds into one thing
and another.— [Belfast (Me.) Mail.
Method in His Madness,
“I’m going to give her this music |
b x for a birthday pressnt,” he said
confidentially to a friend.
“But aren’t yon afraid that it will
destroy your welcome as a caller?”
“No. Why should it?”
“Well, it only plays two tunes, and
they are, ‘Call Me Back Again’ end
•I Won’t Go Homo Till Morning.’ ”
(IlILUHEN’S COLUMN.
A I.KNKOK IN GRAMMAR.
Flog is a vert*,
And so is whack;
Osnc Is a noun,
And so is back;
And lazy hoi's, who go to sleep,
Amt through their lessons crawl and creek
And stut and stammer,
Must sue the noun and feel the verb.
To help them with their grammar.
—[New York Advertiser.
THK LIONESS ANO THE LITTLE OOO.
Not very many yea<s ago thore wai
sn ,>n lioness al the zoologioal gardens
0 f Dublin who foil sick, and as she
pocamo weaker and weaker the vats,
which were tempted into tho den bjr
the pieces of flesh lying about it, grew
80 bold Uiat at last thoy began to
nibble her majesty's poor old toes and
trouble hor exceedingly. A little tor-
rier was put into the oago to keep
them in order; but the lioness resont-
e«l ids entrance and showed her dislike
j lt every sort of way. At length,how-
ever, site saw the dog catch a rat,
w j, en the reason for bis being tbero
RP cinod to strike hor. She booarne
very much attachod to her small pro¬
(color, and lot him sleep [upon her
front paws, right under hor nose every
night for warmth, a place of honor no
doubt, if a somewhat alarming one,
and showed her affection for him in
the tenderest manner continually un-
(il her death. — [Detroit Free Press.
THK BATTLE ON SKATES.
Once upon a time King Philip of
Spain went to war with Holland, the
country where the land is lower than
,] 10 sea-level, and there have to be big
walls, willed dikes, to keep the water
from sweeping over the Holds. This
flgiq wa8 a d C8 p e r a le one, for King
Philip was so eager to subdue tho
country that be waged the war with
tLo means at ids command. Ho
gellt l0 Uoliuml, as his commandor-iit-
c | licf) tho Duke of A | vft( a Spanish
nobleman nml a famous general,
Af(er t)ie wai . ha d boon going on a
long time, and many towns had boon
seized, the Duke saw that if he could
take Amsterdam lie oouUV easily over¬
come the rest of Ilollaud, but between
Amsterdam and the King’s forces lay
the city of Haarlotn.
Tiic Duke gout his son Don Fred¬
erick to capture Haarlem. The city
was almost surrounded by water, thou
frozen over, as it was winter. There
were a few ships lying near Haarlem,
but they were hold fast by the ice, nml
might easily have been captured had
not tho suitors dug a trench all nrotmd
them, aud fortified them against tho
enemy.
As soon us Don Frederick arrived,
lie sent a body of soldiers to attack tho
ships. The soldiers marched out to
tiie vessels, but ns they came near a
body of armed men on skates sprang
from Die trench.
The Hollanders were used to skat¬
ing from thoir very babyhood, for in
winter the oanals and sea wore frozen
for miles around, and everybody
skated. Not only did they skato for
full but to market and their daily busi¬
ness, just us easily and far more
quickly than they could walk. Thoy
used to have games and sham battles
on tho ice, so that when there was need
for real lighting thoy knew what to
do.
But the Spaniards lived in a south,
ern sountry where there is little ice,
and they never went sliding or skat¬
ing. When they saw tho Hollanders
dart out at them, their feet shod with
steel, appearing almost to to fly in the
air, they thought the enemy must be
aided by witchcraft I They were
tempted to run, such was their amaze-
inent and terror.
However, when (lie bullets came
flying among them, they tried to pick
up their courage and light. But their
efforts were feeble, for, unabie to
keep their footing on tiie slippery
surface, they would stumble and fall,
while the Hollanders would glide by
unharmed and send their bullets to
the mark.
The Hollander* were victorious;
and, wheu they drove the Spaniards
off the ice, several hundred of the
enemy lay dead, while the conquerors
scarcely suffered any loss. When the
Duke heard of this defeat he was
much surprised, and decided that he
would not be beaten again in that
way.
So he ordered seven thousand pairs
of skates, and commanded all the sol¬
diers to learn to skate. They had fun
while learning, but not long after¬
ward were able to handle their weap¬
ons on Ice as boldly as tiie Hollanders.
But they had little occasion to make
i-e of this new accomplishment,
J .r a suddeu thaw and flood made it
possible for the ships to tail away, and
'he sailors’ brave spirits were much
cheered by the sudden frost that fol¬
lowed and rendered them safe from
naval attack (or a time.
OFFICIAL ORGAK
—oar •rscMD—
FRANKLIN COUNTY ALLIANCE-
The Flower Business of Sdlly.
The flower season lusts from Janu¬
ary to June, and Scilly to bo soon In
its glory should he visited in the
spring. At that time, 81. Mary’s,
which is tiie principal flower-growing
island, resembles u largo pieco of
brilliant patchwork; Die air is filled
with perfume, and almost every per¬
son on tho island is engaged in pluck¬
ing, trimming or packing. Tho flow¬
ers aro plucked ou a line day, just
boforo they have openod, and taken to
a damp room with a to in petal uro of
about 70 degrees; then every vessel
which will hold water is requisitioned,
aud in tiiosc the blooms, after having
the superfluous leaves carefully re¬
moved, are placed until the time for
packing cotnes. This operation i»
deferred as long ns possible, perhaps
for a couple of days after picking,
and meanwhile the boxes and baskets
are prepared with soft layers of hay
and ferns, and iabels and cord aro got
ready, as well as dainty colored paper
with scalloped edges, for Die mote ex¬
pensive flowers.
At length tiie final stage Is entered
upon, perhaps at midnight, and for
hour after hour there is no cessation,
one person drying the stems, another
tying into buucliQg, another packing,
a fourth nailing up, und a fifth, per¬
haps, helping generally. On and on
into the gray morning tiie workers
toil in an atmosphere which Dio heat
aud the odor of tens of thou¬
sands of flowers have made almost in¬
supportable, gradually building around
them a wall of neat packages, llioir
movements growing feverish as tho
sound of passing wheels reminds them
that their neighbors' flowers aro al¬
ready on the way to market. At last
the task is over; the horses move off
with their load, and take a place in
the line of vehicles which every high¬
way is discharging on the pier; and
ere tho weary “flower-farmers” liavo
well finished their hardly-earned
breakfast, a shrill whistle announces
tho departure of tlio steamer. At
Penzance a special train is in waiting
to convey tiic beauty and perfume of
Scilly to busy centros,thore to decorate
the table* of tho wealthy, to brighteu
the gloomy chamber of tho invalid,
and to speak words which the timid
tongue of she lover hesitates to utter.
— (Chamber’s Journal.
American Apples in England.
In some parts of England and Ire¬
land very fine apples are raised, but
not in very large quantities, and,
owing to tbo high value set on land
ami tho system under which most of
it is cultivated, there is not much en¬
couragement for planting large or¬
chards. Landlords do not expect ten¬
ants to plant orchards and cultivate
and take caro of trees when their ten¬
ure is so uncertain, for, after years of
waiting for tho trees to reach maturity
or even a bearing ago, the tenant or
planter may be served with a notice to
leave, bis successor getting the
benefit of his years of labor.
But no part of Groat Britain
probably is so well adapted
to apple culture as oiir Northern
states. Besides, our fall and winter
varieties excel in sizes, beauty, and
flavor those raised in the most favored
localities of Great Britain, and this is
especla ly true of such varities as the
Newton pippin, Baldwin, northern
spy, and several others which are in
great demand in English markets.
The superior keeping qualities and
high flavor of the best American vari¬
eties of the apple have probably con¬
tributed as much toward creating a
demand for them in England as tiie
scarcity or insufficient supply of tho
home-grown crop.— [New York Sun.
Pleasures of Life In Honduras.
It is rather painful, after the way
in which we have been induced to
think of Honduras as a land of milk,
honoy, perpetual bloom and all-around
terrostrial perfection, to be told by a
returning emigrant from Dial country
that snakes and bugs of the most in¬
tensely disagreeable kind abound there
andjrnake quite free with Die langurous
native and tiie hopeful colonist One
reptile, it is said, lias a double set of
teeth, and when lie bi cs the victim
sweats blood all over. Another is so
peculiarly constituted that its bite is
immediately followed by mortification
•—whether of the flesh or spirit is no 4
stated; perhaps both aro meant. Evi¬
dently the energetic promoters who
have been booming that tropical clime
have forgotten to mention one natural
advantage, Honduras must offer
great facilities for snake stories.—
[Chicago News.
A Sure Cure.
Stranger—And so you believe In
Professor Chloride’s cure for drunk¬
en ticss ?
Red-Nosed Enthusiast—Believe in it!
llow can I help believing in it? I’ve
been cured six times.—[Life.
$1.00 PER YEAR.
Life is Too Short.
Life is too short for any vain endeavor.
For useless sighing over vanished days;
No time for scorn, no time for needlssi
praise,—
Life Is too short.
Life is too short for envy to be nourished,
For sin to cover up the path we tresd,—
Think of the suffering! hear the cry for
bread !—
Life Is too short.
Life Is too sh ort for avarice to devour
And rob men’s souls toseek its evil end;
No time for bitter thought, you know, my
friends,—
Life Is too short.
Life is too sb ort to waste in tears *nd griev
big.
Over the love that came but did not stay;
’Tts sweet to dream, but dreams, too, pass
sway,—
Life in too short.
Life is too short—forgive and tie forgiven,
While yet we linger; everything is brief,
There Is no time for idleness or grief,—
Life is loo short.
—Moses (4. Shirley, in Yankee Blade.
HUMOROUS.
They probably call tiie sea treacher’
ous becauso it boats tho banks.
There is something as good as bra-
very iu getting scared in time.
When tho hotel ciork says “front,”
tiie hall boy should not talk back.
Customer—How will those shoo*
wear? Funny Clerk—Thoy’ll wear
out.
Tiie vinegar, if you have noticed,
docs not seem to have any respect for
its mother.
The grip is Hie only thing that can
make some tough people feel meaner
(lion they are.
Travellers for houses in the leather
Irudo aro facetiously referred to a*
“kids” by thoir fellow-drummers.
“Did you soo any sharks while you
were ou your travels?” “I should say
I did, but I didn’t buy any tiling of
them. ”
•‘You arc gotten up to kill,” sho r(-
marked a* he tied bis eannufls on. “I
ought to be,” ho said, “as I am going
out sleighing.”
Yeast—Does your wife cook well?
Crimsonbeak—I never tried to cook
her. Tho furthest I ever went with
her was to got tier into a stow.
Airs. Black—See! Mother has scut
us this beautiful present. Mr. Black
(ungraciously)— Il-m. When does
she say she is coming to spend a month
with us?
“I was dawncing all night, doncher
know,” said Choliy to Miss Keene, on
whom lie was making a call, “but
I’m not a bit tired. On the contrary,
I think I look pwetty fwesh after it.”
“You’re niways fresh,” she said.
A little girl who was abont to b«
taken to sse the pantomime, on being
told that it was called “Ali Baba; or,
the Forty Thieves,” exclaimed: “Why,
that is the story, motnor, you read ms
out of ‘Abraham’* Light,’ is it not?”
Portly dame, with the aid of her
maid, struggling into her last season’s
winter jacket—Why, Jane, I realty
beliovc this thing bus shrunk, “Yes,
m’m; it is really wonderful how
clothes slirink at your thno of life.”
Says Man’s (Jhiiwles, destiny “On is shaped; what erratic lines |
Jt has been leap days I
year many
And I have'still escaped.”
Experts Fall Out,
A $100 bank bill is causing a good
deal of discussion among bank tellers
and government officials. As to
whether it is good or bad, there is a
difference of opinion.
Tho bill turned up at the Illinois
Trust and Savings Bank a few days
ago. Teller Cooper thought it a good
bill, aud sliowed it to other experts,
it purported to have been issued by
the First National Bank of Boston. To
settle tiie question tho bill was taken
to the .Sub-Treasury. Iteceiving Teller
Schoeniuger pronounced it bad and
punched the word “counterfeit” in it,
as is customary.
There aro few counterfeit $100 bank
bills known to be in existence, and
that of the First National of Boston i*
one of tho best. In $100 bank bills
at (lie left is a picture of Commodore
Perry and his men in a rowboat ou
Lake Erie just as tiie Commodore is
about to utter the memorable words:
“We have met the enemy and they are
ours.” In genuine bilis water is seen
to be dripping from both sides of an
oar suspended abovo the watey. In
the counterfeits the water drips from
only one side of the oar blade. The
bill in question bad a drip only on one
side, it is claimed, although the bill
was so much worn that it was difficult
to determine that point. It was the
main point on which Mr. Schoeninger
bases bis decision.
Tellers generally think the bill ia
good in spite of the decision of the
Receiving Toller of the Sub-Treasury.
It has been sent to Washington for a
final decision, which is expected with¬
in a day or two. —[Chicago Tribune. .