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THE -l tscaasscjssajj -<] H—I L. fccwjfsace'fi ?k r
ESTABLISHED 1875.
As Corbett Knocked Sullivan Out,
So Do HOOD, ANDERSON and CO. Knock Prices Down
Our New Goods Are AS Kasasu BOTsa n n
Prices and quality guaranteed. AV-e have a fine line of
Millinery, Dry Goods and Notions.
We can please anybody who willgWe us a chance. Our line of SHOES and pr will fit any one.
HOOD J ANDEBSOI & G O.
HARMONY CrROVE, QA.
MRS. HIPPLE’S LETTER
Now, Miss—er—er—Miss”—
Fosdick. ”
Thanks, very much . -Now, j
MiwFosdick, in commencing your
work as a Jin stenographer & for the
firm of Po] instruct Son it is neces- to
sary for me to you as
your duties. I have charge of tha
house's correspondence Miss — Fosdick, entire j
chsrge. My name,
is Hippie.” Mr. Hippl®, the girl
“Yes, re-
plied meekly. Mr. Hippie
“In tho first place, back his chair
went on, expand leaning his chest m its
»o as to to ut-
most capacity, and twisting the
•nds of his mustache with both
hand* as ho spoke; m the first
place, I always insist on my sten-
^d^ndSndin 1 ^ 1 ^’ h °
FoS diA
had th« house’s correspondence in
my hands for several years, and
imSidtly loth Mr Poplins u£n have come to
mo Indeed, I do
■ot really see how this department
could mewo along at all without
me.”
The girl’s gray eyes dork looked at
tho imWnsable tinkle with an
amused think
lean say, Miss
2 dick ” the young man proceeded >
ho scttWhimsolf ,uore
ablv cad in liis chair, “and I think I
SStteJ way it without the slightest
hfvo or desire to boast, that I
Bon made tho through letters the of Poplin business &
famous of
world as models English com-
potion and ornate diction.
Those arc the reasons a
„
always insist on absolute accuracy
on I do the notpermit part of my stenographer, the alteration
oven
of a single wfiatover. word or any oilier
change clearly?” 1 trust }'Oii ap-
prehend “Qmt© me Mr. Hippie. ^
so,
“Then wo will begin.
Mabel Fosdick b first day s Avork
was perfectly satisfactory to tao
hypercritical correspondence clerk,
Thanks to Miss Fosdicks skill,
Mr Hippie’s specimens of ornate
Lngush composition Avent fon.,
into.thebusiness world more fauit-
lessly Everything than ever. with apparent
went
smoothness tor a montli. Ilio
members of tho firm noted with
onproval tho modest demeanor
of their new typewriter, and the
other male clerks m tho establish-
ment envied Hippie his pleasant
dU S
day tho elder Mr. Poplin
Bent for Miss Fosdick to com© into
his private office.
“Sit doAA’n, please,” “I . he said,
when she arrived. have a let-
ter from my friend Mr. Shaw of
Shaw & King, who says that a
recent communication from this
firm contains much irrelevant
Poplin looked over his glasses blush- at
Miss Fosdick and found her
rag, with her eyes oast doivn.
aslced, not unkindly:
“Did lately you write a letter to
firm ?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then you knoAv its character.
“Y>s. sir.”
“YVhat have you to say about
it?”
“I wrote it down just as Mr.
Hipnb I dictated supposed, it, after sir.” reading it;
“So
but is it not rather unusual to in-
eert in letters extraneous remarks
mad# during has* dictation?”
“He always insisted on
bsin ? taken down verbatim et ht
era turn, sir. the pietty tA pc « u
cent on with some confusion: ‘and
really, sir, Mr. Hippie has annoyed
me so much with iiis attentions,
and fait has refused to desist, that I
-1 must do something the to crush
him. I’m sorrv I took method
I did—I oughn’t to—Oh, dear,
What shall I dor
And Mi 8 Fosdick put tier
dainty her cam and uric her handkerchief speech dissolved to
eyes,
» tears.
don’t “There ! there ! my dear ^ girl, _
inglv. cry,” * said Mr. Poplin,
He took her hand to assist in the
comforting operation, and placed
FRANKLIN COUNTY (tA. WEDNESDAY OCT ✓ )BER 26 1892.
her He head on Ilia old fatherly make shoulder,
was not too to mental
note of how long her lashes lay on
her rosy cheeks, and how dewdrops
of tears oozed through them.
“What am she I doing!” bethought Mabel ex-
dainciod, as herself
0 f the picture she and Mr. Poplin
-would present if any one should
come mto the office, and she
promptly raised her head.
“You did just right,” said Mr.
lord in, referring to her treatment
c f Yf r Hippie. “The m-esumtu-
ous rascal! Never mind little girl
_ er — Miss Fosdick, I’ll settle with
Mr. Hippie myself. In the mean-
time you may take a couple of
Jays off. Go home right away
a «d I’ll see that he annoys you no
more/" After fair typewriter had
the
pu t on her wraps andgono home,
Hippie was called into the
iSY oofficaa,llUIr - F o pli:iask3
-An, y, .in tho habit of
from your dictation and trail-
scribed them, Mr. Hippie?”
When Mr. Poplin took tho extra
time “Mister” necessary addressing to use the prefix his
in one of
clerks, it ivas an indication that
the subject of the interview was of
more with than ordinary perturbation importance.
was some there-
fore that Mr. Hippie ulSl replied:
“Well, sir, I to, but I found
Miss Fosdick so scrupulously hate ox-
net that lately I pennitted
her to sign and mail letters dictated
to her without my reading.
takes mo down w'ord for word, sir;
so I feel that it isn’t necessary for
mo to read them over.”
“Tho reason why lasted
that ? «««on is fills: J. = la
of SliaAV & (r Ring, 3 vniA-nmv 011 knoAv—-m pi
which ho asks an explanation of a
letter ho had just received from
this house. Perhaps you can give
the needed explanation after I have
read you the letter. This is it:
“‘Messrs. Shaw & ^ King.
‘ “Gentlemen: Y our favor or
Monday was received m due
course Got that down, sweet-
ness? In reply, we would—Id
like a sweet kiss from those ruby
Kjps-say that the goods you men- Avhy
tion—you charming cold creature, F-mention
are you so to me
Avcro shipped bird-like yesterday thrills morning,
“ ‘Your voice me
through and through! Y liy do
you never smile on your adorer?
Hoping good condition-give that they have arrived just in
mo one
£ 1S s Mabel, darling won t
and they gave perfecti satisfaction
§£t^X.’yot kiss I insist. Y hat
one ucav, are
* a'ou struggling ‘Your obedient for ?
“ serA'anis,
“ ‘Poplin & Son.’”
Hippie turned alternately red
and Avnito while his emplover read said
thig letter iu iev tones, and
no thing when ‘it was concluded.
The occasion did not seem to bo
on0 £ or display of ornate Eng-
ligll compos iti 0 n.
After a painful pause the senior
member of the firm Avent on:
<.*c r Hippie 1 think I’ll attend
to the correspondence of this firm
hereafter mvself, and what love
nin king it is nocessarr to do to tho
tA [ poAvnter I will also look after.
n[q 0 cas hicr will give you your sal-
a r v to date. Good morning,
cH ”
“The idea,” exclaimed Mr. Pop-
fi a to his soil, the junior member,
A ha jf « m i lour i ate r. Avhen ho laid
e w h 0 le matter before him.
“Tlie idea that a womanlv and
^ liko Miss Fisdiok
hould ^- so grossly mistreated in
estahlisnment exasperates me.
pretty and stvect and alto-
gather admirable.”
“I rather admiro Hippie’s * taste,”
said the son.
“Oh, you do!” exchumod the
father “Then 1 suppose I haA-e
done wrong in'discharging the
scamp even when he knew his
attentions Avem distasteful to the
a -irD”
“Xo, father, you did quite do for right,
Of course, it would not that
sor t of thing to continue.”
“Of course it wouldn’t. It would
be persecution of as sweet a girl as
X knoAv.”
“YTiy, you are not in love with
, - f ,,$>}
her voursek, are > ou tafner r
“ 1 -. A ] vld p? Ter Z ears
atandmg r .ilia r idea,, tin t
an
elderly man (island, a Helpless
young woman without such an
im P^™ Uh; ccrtamiy. as .
J hen th« com ersation uroppod.
( hd Mr. ± oplin was in OAownn
M 1SS hosdick, nevertheless, and
h® resolved to ask: lier to be ms
sons stepmother on tho nrsx op-
portiimty. tie liiougnt, moreover,
that lie would ma^o that oppor-
tunity when »ne enouia report tor
clut T-
Miss Fosdick r©Aimed, , to , the ,,
store at tho appointed t me, ana
proceeded straignt to the pnvato
°|hce. I he elder Ar. 1 oplm was
i meu^mg, • f’ nv 1 7 '- t> t opim, r »
-
said . Miss Fosdick,-with her sweet-
eM s>rme ;
.
rather—or—important. I have
been thinking of you almost con-
3 tantly since and you I wanted wont away two
days ask ago, —” to—er—
you please, Mr Pop-
“One moment,
fin,” Miss Fosdick interrupted pardon him
to say, “you must me, but
I have not come back to work.”
“Eh? What’s that?”
“No, sir. Fact is I-that is-
your son, sir—has . done me the
honor to -to _ propose, and-
and--
“The sly young rascal!” ejacu- .
kited Poplin, not giving her a
chance to finish. "Well, 1 suppose and 1
I’ll have to bo father to you,
will say I am proud of my new
danghtav’’ ".
i.r 1 AAonaerii»nere«-H> T i, .. ^usp^ctea suspected
wbat I was going to say?' —Smith,
Gray & Co. ’s Monthly.
jumping --“ Jos c ph. ’
A Saltatory MarveHTho is Astonishing
London Theatei-Goei 3 .
The management of tho Empire
Theater, London, has a novel at-
traction in the person of Joseph
tlio Darby, world the and champion holder of jumper the chain- of
pion Mr. bolt Darbv .
clears six cnairs ac J a
bound brick his ‘only standing spring-off end being In
from a up. 4m
similar Avay he jumps a
brick over a chair on to a second
brick, and clears a bar thm feet
high. His flying leaps mcludo , .
a cam
placed chairs making on a table, obstacle a senes of
. an nineteen
|
Avitli liis ankles tied,
Tko more sensational feats con-
sist of a jump over three chairs
backward; a jump over a chair on
to the face of a man Rung at its
foot, and off again, without leap injury
to the man; and a flying which over the
water, in the course of
champion iust skims the top of the
water without wetting more than
the soles of Ids shoes.
Mr. Darby concludes with a
splendid bound over a six-foot gate
studded at the top A\dtk Adcious-
! looking spikes.
--T
| COURT 0 _ GOSSIP. ___ oia
iris illegal for boy* under sixteen
years of age to ba on the streets of Sel-
leraburg, Ind., after Bereno’clock p. m.
Cawexb Citt, Kan., has adopted an
ordinance reqaLriny every owner of
chickens to keep the» on his premises
! Fa4 - XCE has ^ ad « a law imposmg the
P^altyof death on persons convicted
of for ,he des.vuot.on
l5 . ^ toT foP tejaries ^
celred while switching cars on a de¬
feetivc side track, the Michigan supreme
court has decided that side tracks must
be kept in good condition.
The city council of Elizabeth, N. J.,
has passed an ordinance forbidding girls
under sixteen to attend picnics, balls or
other places of amusement, unless “at-
tended by” a parent or
passed Tm i t a government bill Imposing^ of heavy tue ^jjol fines,oa has
^^offte bean^ and rx-e
Aip ine fi owe r called edelweiss, which
has been pulled up by the root on the
mountains to such an extent that there
is danger of the plant becoming extinct
HOUSE AND HOME.
Bints and Matters of Intare3t for
the Domestic Circle.
Thc Practice of Assuming Husband’s
v iri K-ftnr lhan^ings—Care Tlardinnn
ard aud Cl'c-H) ILeap Wa tVa lhangrmgs tar. of of
tao lace and lecta-
The practice of the wife assum-
incr the husband’s name at mar-
riage, according froni’a to Dr. Brewer,
originated Roman custom
a nd became the common custom
after tho Roman occupation. Thus
Julia and Octavia, Cicero,' married to
by Pompey and Julia were called
the Romans of Pompey.
Octavia times of Cicero, and in latter
married women in most
European countries signed their
names in the same manner but
omitted the “of.” Against this
view may bo mentioned that dur-
ing beginning the sixteenth and even at the
of the seventeenth cen-
turv the" usage seems doubtful,
since we find Catharine Parr so
g i gn i n gherself after she had been
twice married and we always
p ear p, ac iy Jane Grey (no
Dudley), (Seymour), Arabella Stuart (no
etc. Some persons
think that the custom originated
f rom tho scriptural teaching that
i ltls b an j an j w ife are one. This
waa the rule of law so far back as
B ractou 1268), and it was do-
j n ^he case of Bon vs. Smith,
j n y no reign of Elizabeth, that
woman former by marriage loses receives her
the name and legally Alto-
name of lier husband.
gether, the custom is involved in
obscurity.
--
Burlaps for Wall Hanging’s.
a>^thetic harmin^ tle'°usual for
burlap of
cre'im-brown tue A wall thu 8
hite ^ ptotee hveb ;|^e
touen o*. lest-uln^o to loom
enteiing. In the sai^^ apa-UKiifc
was a curious portiere winch
bear description and imitation x
ma,.e of unt\AxM ,1 iope^ e« i
length terming three stiands,
nv lixcla. aie djeu diftoienv colom,
these are knotted mto a border
made of several se^ lengths of wxrix rope
m and mge her
-Uiueuv co.o.u j <un^. 1 tn...
g is cl™? something for “room like that f ors ot and txie
Chinese bamboo cuitanio. <
turn to the walla- t a mo. a ex-
Pensiyo hanging is desired, large
curtains mth laid over, a high co or of
w£, Stanpored a hue"" ‘^bho d ade o
moulding, te. make a very hand-
< om9 d docou a tive o «4ome s^om e.
0uP Daughters.
The mi household , olessed . with ...
f^ le SSLnts fomt
however ^ to imbue them with love
. h w]licll ^ so invigorating
a nd healthful Give them niff
® } y teaching but noble
an a <r ?„ iv0 them A the heln f,
1 1 „„ don
more than afi other influences—
| ih n u. ln n f aij Tin | MrA
. 0 iicaiinot - ^ , | , baptize rV^cb them fonts rightly unless
1 r
te izo them in the SAveet
-
• 1 n
o.YiVfrreni n , s
tho 'cannot of rom
native land. You 'lea l
f .j t hfuUy to those narrow,
h altara while the 1 azuro
, t in heaven remain, for you,
built not to, but by an unknowr
God.—Ruskin.
To Clean White Garment3
Many _ fond ol
women avuo are
wearing u aite c»oui gaunents aie
not aAvare that tney can be very
easily cleaned with pipe c.ay. lue
officers in the Bntisn^aimy xeeq
the white m their .unuorms spot-
lessly clean by the use of pipe
clay ibis is rubbed tnoroughlv
into me fabric then brushed and
dusted gut until all stains and
spots are removed. In some m-
|^ ce3 lfc 13 neC8 *fry to wet it.
If stains aie a eiy bad u may bs
made mto a sort ot paste, laid on
* C ^d ^rish
VALen*t auJ riffi II 9 1 ** *■ out *
veiy readily. Y hite shoes of 1111-
dressed kid are easily Cleaned ip
this way, ana tins, maoea, is
the only method b.. hicl _
axrnos. they can be made to mok v. oil. y.
Delicate Copenhagen China.
Copenhagen ck-ina i.s the loveli
est O f ail ciiina, with its piercec
borders and clear Avhite ground*
scattered vn th Auoiets or oriier
flowers. DaintA* food 13 more d©
licious when served on such dishes,
Fetv people stop to think that th<
appearance of food is greatly
changed by serving it in old Can
toil C r dainty French china. A ’
delicate n/ spring apprizing or summer soup 11
e 3 pecia if served ir
the French china, while thief
purees or brotns may as weh be 12
the out C antoa as any other ware
A salad placed beiore one on 1
plate decorated wiih cobalt blue is
not the same dish as when it come.*
on in French china with a touch
of dull gold or pale green or buff
for decorations.
Tarnished Teeth.
Women whose teeth are tar-
llis ^ eci about tue edges from the
ns0 of m 9 ( J ici110 ° r the effectual
VA) 1 k , n > g ot dentifrice . would do
: well to remember that powdered eradi-
pumice-stono is a harmless
c ator of such evils. It is easily
n pphod about by winding stick, a shred wooden of fine
hnen a small a
toothpick or a match wnittled to «».
fi »® P oint * an ? k ut t ’' voort!ir0e
thorough applications are ncces- dis-
3aI T * n order to remove any
coloration . from the teeth where
*h° ©n*mel is not eaten away.
" ~ ~
Lalaing 7 , 1 tus Idee
One should never bathe the fact,
i n hard water anyway, if a fair
complexion should be is desired. The water
softened with a littls
bop Yf ix or the a few is drops of hot ammonia, it should
-n race very
not be bathed; .wait until it cools
off a little. In traveling where
one knows nothing about the water
ter not to use it for bathing
u If nece : --sary, add a lit-
tie alcohol, and ihen mb with a
little vaseline. In this way a fair
complexion retained may b > obtained and
that will i)j aprido to am'
lovely woman.
-----
“Sulky” Tea Sets-
A popular little china tray with
sunken places that hold a covered
tea or coffee cup, a little sugar
bowl and a creamer, are now sold
in the shops for the early cup of
tea or coffee, taken in one’s room.
Tlie tray projects at one side, so
that ii is large enough to hold a
slice of bread and butter or of
toast, or even a rack for the toast,
Beautiful English china is seen in
tl^cy called^ulky set,”
^AbamOuo ............... j &
(»a.,os ,aj p.t.L, ?-’teh m.uJi
are scented witn vi< f lot, lavender,
c^evovwnd^m^ovrchv p’ mirndi T a!.,
home.^ p,,. Tlw dc^Les, do , T ^ / emms
and nap.vin» , ..u. n a (.,,..101
wood and meadow fragrance but
they must avoid any perfume
whichis me*, u^the .m.q - ••• - aegree • ■ ; hejw^ ‘ te ,/
pornns^le .aos, acncate , , C must bo of the
'
. For bean and take
corn soup and either one
pint coca of boded corn
boiled ot baked beans rub through
fhreoteurs m4l! anf h°oiI of wt lte i
onrl Turn fime through the colander the onion a and see-
ond E-ne to to remove umo e tl.o c menand
team, JL JL beaso Season until v salt ^ and 1 a a ivdf
... .
cup of hot or butter 0 earn.
To keep tin cakes biscut crisp box shut in them dry
up in a a
closet. To make ginger nuts and
other small cakes soft, as some
people like them, a stone jar, mi-
covered, is the proper receptacle.
LoaFs Labor Lost.
“Madam, may I kiss those beau¬
tiful children?” inquired Uncle
Dick Oglesby', as he leaned over
the gate.
“Certainly, objection.” sir; there is no pos¬
sible
(•'-“They are lovely- darlings,’’{said
Uncle Dick, after hc had finished
the eleventh. “I have seldom seen
more beautiful babies. Are they
yours, inarm?”
The laxly blushed deeply.
“Of course they are, the sweet
little treasures! From whom else
larre they- inherited those limpid
cy'os, those rosy' cheeks, those pro¬
fuse curls, those comely figures
and those musical A'oices?”
The lady continued blushing. Uncle
Dick/ “By* the Avay, marm,” said
“may I bother .you to tell
your estimable husband that Rich¬
ard J. Oglesby, Liberal candidate
for Mugbv, calls upon him this
“
evening' • V>
“I ‘‘Alas, have good husband!” sir,” quoth the lady,
no
“But, these children, madam—
y'ou “I surely feared are *you not a widow mistaken, ?”
were
sir, Avhen you first came up.
These are not my' children. This
's an orphan asydum.”
Work Done By Mice-
A Scotchman one CA-ening re
cently sat looking at some mice.
An idea struck him. He decided
to set the little thieves spinning
yarn, and it was probably a very
astonished pair of mice that found
themseh'es a feAV days later work-
ing a small treadmill in a cage like
those in which rats and other
small animals are kept, but that with¬ they
out the paying slightest their idea board
were in this
wav. An ordinary mouse cam
twist over 100 threads on reels
3A'ery' day, although to do this he
has to run ten and one-half miles.
Well Occupied
He—E-r, are you married?
She the (from time.—Truth. Chicago)—Yes, most
of
XVII—NO. i-t
QtGANTtO R r PTIL£S.
Rome cf U;e Me asters Thai at One
Time Inhabited the Beep.
The Re Dr. Gordon, of Boston,
nas rv . ally made a study of the
gigantic reptiles which are sup-
p mH l to ha\ e been the ancestors
of modern snakes and lizards.
One species, the clidastes, was.of
enormous size, attaining a length
of forty-five feet. Another, the
twi mosasaiirus big, maximus, was nearly
e as less measuring than when full
grown Yet larger not the liodon,‘hugest eignty feet,
was
of all tlie mighty saurians of that
vanished era, which lias a long
muzzle that is surmised to have
been used as a ram in fighting.
These enormous creatures, in
form resembling eels, plowed the
waters with four paddles and pro-
fishes poller-like which tail, in pursuit of the
were their food. Their
heads were large and flat, and they
swallowed their prey whole, being
.bio to take in animals of greater
girth than themselves, owing to
the arrangement of their jaws,
which were provided midway in
their length with hinges.
When they lived this Continent
was lower than it is now. New
Jersey and Delaware, as well as
most of tho Southern States, were
underwater and the Rocky Moun-
tains, in places 10,000 feet loss
elevated than at present, appeared
ley as a of range the Mississippi separated from the Yal-
of salt by a broad
expanse water, that was, in
fact, an inland sea, teeming with
animal life.
In those days real sea serpents
not only existed, but their num-
hers were almost incalcnalble, as it
proved by their bones left behind
in the rock of subsequent forma-
bon, and in many cases so per-
fectly preserved that entire akele-
^ YahSftl Y
After all, the question is merely
° !1 ° of siz ®> inasmuch as marine
snakes Jr Are very Jentiful a 0/03-
£ tho world.
and Thcy SWfu , a tbo lndiaa Ocean,
a naval officer was telling mo
the b p., r d that hc bad seen
^ - s b 0 als of t mds to-
^ or c
, s th . . A NIT it
uccessarv to thru -
wiiiic at auciior, U » ll Cl 2 b; rrch
in order to proven t 1 rent l ies
aboard climbing Avhile up the tiro ropes mid coming
chor. ship was at an¬
Nor was such ■ precaution bv
say means super ’-.a- owin. to
the fact that, as uuyi. w nay : u-n
by* turning to the "iSia) oard IS at-
ural History,” them ■ntn are
most d&nger'ou: ly poisonous. Tacy
evidently bers together. traveled The iu great mnn-
seas f n an
Japan Madagascar to Pa na, and )IXi
to New Zoalaod a-re tlri . kiy
infested vita them. Dr. Stejnegor,
the reptiiinn Institute, expert of tlie Smith¬
sonian sa.A's that they
are among tho most poisonous of
all knoAva serpen is, their v •non:
being not less deadly than thai ol
the cobra or rattlesnake.
Furthermore, they are Aery
fierce and aggressive and Aval
commonly attack human 0 gs it
they' get a chance. They do not
frequent tlie shallows, unless jx.»s-
sibly for breeding, but :: re iu the
open ocean. Wliou fu! we
they are from six to <igm
long. Fishermen in 1 • ■it
Avhere they are found Thoir are 8f>
afraid of them. O L L\
flat, and the inside of them i
almost wholly- filled- in by tee lungs
which are large, o.dr i that t;u
may- be enabled to beneau
the surface for a long nuk-* with >u\
coming modified up to brer, They hup
eyes that Avhen idt seeing in the
water, so they are taken
out of their native element they
seem blinded and .-triko Avildly.
Their fangs, like those of the cobra,
are always erect.
VAGRANT V RSZS.
A Koav Stile.
If architects woui i bear i.i mind
The frailty of ireuiikiu l.
They'd introduce a kind of stair
That now is bat’d to find.
They’d put another rden on top,
Itcgardlees of remark;
The step a follow it «.ch?s for
When goinsr up in tire; dark.
-f-'Mizit <t C it ay's Monthly,
The Foolish Ant.
Who tolls me now ti the r.nr.
Consider lorn and bo vr:s\
AVhen I see bis a;itship4 poil his hodlth
AVitb picnic bmoa pi . —Epck.
N w Lights on Natural History.
{ sail to tin Marifcrj*—fit e of the saj phi re
OT
“Pray ten Mistress Mi l-jet, you’re so very,
very
You who u to kindergarioa anl learn hea 03
of things each day.
What are tlie very fit-roest of ail the birds of
prey;”
“i thought you know,” ste answered, with a
fine judicial air,
^ tbreemost fiercest bea,ties is two lions
—JVDGS-
A Kopcdess Case.
She—You say- A'ou are an artist,
a musician * u 1 a poet?
He (modestly) —All three.
She—Oh. how awfully poor you
must be!—Truth.
The Parson’s Teeth.
There is a story of a clergyman
who had taken a temporary duty
for a friend, and who had tho ill-
luck to injure his falso teeth dur-
ing (England) the week, says the Manchester
‘‘Times. ”
Tho plate was sent to the den-
tist’s for repairs, a faithful assur-
ance duly being given that it should bo
returned by Sunday’s post,
but the dentist or the post proved
faithless.
Vv r ith the assistance of the clerk
tho clergyman managed to stumble
threigh would the useless prayers, but felt it
be to attempt to
pre -h. He therefore instructed
the clerk to “make some excuse for
him and dismiss the congrega-
tion.”
But his feelings may bo better
imagined > than described when, in
the seclusion of the vestry, he
overheard the clerk, in impressive
tones, thus deliver tho “excuse:”
“Parson’s very sorry, but it is his
misfortune to be obliged to wear a
set of artificial teeth. They basted
last them Wednesday, back from and he ain’t got
I^ondon to-day, as
was I promised. I’ve helped him all
could through tho service, but t
cu t do more for him. it isn't
any u-eo iron going up into the
ptepit, nd word for you. he '.'M hi’t under-
s- a. said, so i
yyasn.y as vffi' ;o home.’’
'IeelmiefuIunotk nt
The judge of a Western ec -t
was not before thoroughly him, but posted on tuo
caso lie was one of
those men you have probably
heard of Avho thinks he knows it
all.
“You are charged Aviih horse¬
stealing,” prisoner. he “Are said loftily' to the
guilty?” you guilty or not
“Not guilty, A'our Honor,” re¬
sponded The the prisoner.
Court looked surprised.
“Do you mean to say that the
animal you rode into town on to¬
day, and which Avas idea ’Ll bv
a half a dozen citizens was; a.
“No, your Honor.”
“Well, sir, did you buy it? ’
“No, your Honor.”
“Did the oA\mer present '■ tc
you as a token of e-ie .. ; .id
the “No, Judge smiled.
y'our Honor,” and :h&
prisoner “Didn’t smiled a little him : .
stable you feloniously out a fan
of the owner, where it aw is
kept, in the dead of the night, : l
remove it knoAvledge?” forcibly', AA'ithout ins
consent or
“Yes, y'ou Honor, more or less,”
replied “Well, the prisoner, boldly.
don’t y'ou call that hor >
stealing?” “No,
your Honor.”
“And Avhy not, pray'?” and the
Judge was more sarcastic than
ever.
“Because it Avas a mule, your
Honor,” and tho prisoner guff; wed
at his OAA'n joke to tho extent of a
$10 fine for contempt of court. —De¬
troit “Free Press. ”
Tlie Result.
“Did you eA'er shod J .
the stage ?”
‘ *Yes, ” replied the emotio; o.: .
tress.
“What Avas the result?"
“It spoiled my make-up.
J udge.
_
Banff Up Style.
“Did you notice that k
pador had her hair 01 us:,
her forehead to-night ?”
“Yes; I thought it waa a *3
up way of dressing it.”
Interesting.
The Groom—He’s my best man,
y'ou know.
The bridesmaid—He’s mine, toe,
—Truth.
___
Never lay out all you can^afl ord,
for he avIio lay's out everything ho
can afford often lay's out rno?c-
than he can afford.
ACADEMY CF THE
Immaculate Conception
80 LOYD ST.
AUAh’Tfl.....».
This boarding and th v
under the direction of u.
of our Lady of Morey,
you 112 ladies all the ; • • .
a ISiorough Engl: 3 !:
TERMS PER SET - s
board, tuition and was;
Music, drawing ai d
extra Studies charge.'.. will
be rc.'cnie
in September.
For farther inform
as aboA r e.
CLEVELAND HOD GO rv:
TOCCOA, GA.
L>. E. C LEVELAND, Propjuilt k.
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$2 PER DAY.