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the democrat.
Uw Weakly Paper on Live Issues
Published Every Friday Morning,
at Crawfordville, Oa.
SULUV A&.
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION:
Copy, Copy, (one year,) . . . 8 2 00
Copy, (six months,) . . . 1 00
(three months,) . . . 50
Or Advertising rates liberal. BOOK
JOB PRINTING a specialty. Prices
suit the times.
A Little Ahead.
As they wanned their backs in the cor
of the post-office yesterday, one of
began.
“Yum—yum—but didn't our folks have
boss Thanksgiving dinner, though !”
“What j'e have?” asked the other,
“What didn’t we have, you mean P* ex¬
the first, "Let's see : In the first
we had two kinds of bread—light and
Then wc had butter on two plates.
we bad horse radish gatfe d coarse
grated fine. Then we
taters boiled in the most beautiful manner,
and
"Did you have pumpkin pie with frizzed
edges ?“ Interrupted the second.
"No."
"Then you might as well stop right here.
kill toot around about your two kinds [
radish and your tluee kinds of
but when it comes down to feelin' ;
thankful pumkitt pie is the Vittles to :
it on. G^Pn blow to some poor orphan
1”
Amos’ Book Keeper.
We asked Amos how his boy was get¬
along at school.
"Hag take dat boy, I done tuck him
from dat school I”
“Why, what for V
“Uh, oh! he wm gittin’ mos’ too
down dar wid dat book lamin’.
’Twont do for niggers to be
“Whynot, Amos?”
“WdUsah, jess take dat boy, frin
I put dat boy ter keep books for
’bout de aellin’ of de garden truck
summer. Well, sah, he jess rit
charges dar in de book for all de
dot I took out de garden, an’
fur all dat we eat in de house,
credit hisself wid de little ’mounts
I let him hab long at odd ’casions,
den he go an’ add dem up, and struck
balance be say 1” i
^ And how did you come out ?
r Come out ? 'Fore de Good Marster, |
I didn’t come out at all * Dat boy done
me for ’bout thutty-fibe dollars,
’sides his wages as book keepali. Now, ;
dat’s what de fingers sed.”
“Well, what did you do ?”
“I jess burn up dat book right dar, an
den ’sarclied the book keepali, an’ hire
him ober again Ur saw wood fer liis
-v* tf V. \ " '
“You did I”
“Yes sah, I did dat. Why boss ef dat
bed kep’ dat book on me till now
done own dat house and gardin
and bin chargin’ me and his ole
for bed an’ bread ! I tell you
hyar book lamin’ is ruinin’ dis
breed ob niggers—dat’s sho 1”
A Tough Custom er.
Gen. Charles Clarke, ex-Governor of
died a few days ago at the
of eighty-eight. He served in the
,, . volunteer . ,
war as a but was •
home invalided, m a consumptive, j
Southern faculty, confirmed, one
lung havlhg perished completely, and
tlie Lieutenant was advised to go home
and , . lead , the quiet . . ... life of . planter, , ,
a
all excitement, whereby he
might prolong his life for eighteen |
months, or perhaps even for two years.
He went home, but did not die ; indeed
after serving tn the Legislature and sev- .
eral public offices, he was alive to head
a Confederate brigade at Shiloh. As
he took a parting glass with Col. W H.
McArdie, a veteran Mississippi journal
ist, ’ he c said u :
“I think you will have a good chance
of publishing that obituary which you
promised me thirteen years ago. I have
outlived all tlie doctors, but I am not so
confident that I shall escape the Yankee
balls and shells which I will be compel!
ed to face to-day.”
After the first day’s battle General
Clarke was borne to the rear wrapped in
a blanket saturated with blood.
“You can publish that obituary now,
he has met with a soldier’s death, ” was
the remark of one of those who bore him,
and the obituary was shortly OrtL,. afterwards
in i th»\w 1 Orleans papers.
... r y after the battle of ^ Baton
Rouge, however Gen. Clarke was seen
agam Shot through at New the Ori^ns body at Shiloh He had and been left
on the field, to be taken prisoner, to
recover and to be exchanged, and at
Baton Rouge a minie ball broke his
thigh, near the socket.
Dr. Stone was the suregeon who now
brought around the man he had con
demned to a speedy death in 1848, and
though hi# leg was shortened several
inches, Get. Clarke lived to be Govem
or of Mississipi and to die fifteen years
later, quietly in his bed, having buried
several generations of doctors, lung' gone
through two wars with one been
twice left for dead on the field of baffle ’
and ana seen seen his his obitu obituary ary published publish ed.
” * ”
_ To draiu lands—Drink whiskey and
spend all of your time at a village saloon,
This receipt will surelv drain you of
your lands in a very short while.
Now is the f trrie to np!r S*}.
The Democrat
Vol. 2 .
POETRY.
-
TO KALOSi.
A Dirge of the Times.
BY ETHEL HATTON.
Oh, Beauty fell asleep one day.
Where Fortune’s streamlet rolled,
ner hair fell in the tide, they say, v
And hence to-day is—gold.
And by oblivion's darksome tide,
Love laid film down to dream ;
Ambition tossed him down thp side
Of that dark rolling stream.
So Happiness, who seeks for Love,
Has found her search in vain,
And watches from her home above,
Life's rugged, storm-tossed main.
Poor Fancy broke her pretty wing
Against the rocks of Reason,
And Reason—old, deceitful thing—
Went in black a season.
And Genius—ah! 'tis sad, but so- -
Old Critic stoned to death.
Friendship,bke Mother«.pose,yuu know.
Died for the want of breath.
Fashion is tripping still our street,
With a box of Hard Times pills ;
And further on old Cash you'll meet,
HU pocket fall of bills.
But _ , pshaw v , ! 111 throw my pen away,
Though only reached the middle ;
My Muse has left her harp to-day.
And taken up a fiddle.
At the Garden Gate.
came to the garden gate,
While a soft hand trimmed the flowers,
a black bird piped to his listening mate
In a language as rich as ours.
bluaibed at the garden gate—
A blush it was fair to see ;
the sly sun peered as he fain would
wait,
And the black-bird paused on the tree.
spake at the garden gate,
As the shadows began to fall,
the rose looked nji though *hc hour
was late,
And the peach blushed pink on the wall,
A sweet head fell nt tlie garden gate,
But down in gloom and sorrow true ;
And a chirrup of lips was heard to state.
What word-* refused to do.
.........5 — ; =■ ■ . -
Ml?H''ELLANfcUUS. 1 IVEIATTC
THE LOTTERY OF LIFE.
The "Revue des Deaux Jfondes” contains
incidents of the war of Mexican In
from which wo select the nrf
thrilling scene. A captain in the
army is giving an account of a
the Cordillero, and oeeuptea oy a a terfe urge
—*•«>
Having arrived at the hacienda unper
we came to a halt under some large
at some distance from the building,
j t place®. i r £££ti^Thu^ * • , ,
chasm formed the the waits continuation of the hacienda of anothcr a >-j
one chiseled by nature , n
rocks, to the bottom of which the eye
'
penetratC( for the mists whi h
boiled up from below did, not
i lo w it to measure their awful depths.
1 had explored all sides of the building
except this when I know not what scruple
md.tary honor excited me to continue
ride along the ravine which protected
the rear of the hacienda. Between the walls
and tbe Precipice there was a narrow path
? farn ay l t0 ° k “ *« 1 ten “ ve ™ ip 7 ’ thR , ^ n
crept around their entire basement t and to
fc.llow it to the end in the darkness, only
two paces from the edge of the perpendicu
lar chasm, was no easy task for as practiced
horseman as myself. Nevertheless, 1 did
not hesitote ' but Doltlly urged my horse
between thc wa " of the far,n house and thf!
abyss. I had got over half the distance
without an accident when my horse
neighed. This neigh made me shudder. I
had reached a pass where the ground was
but just wide enough for the four legs of
my horse, and it was impossible to retrace
my steps.
“Hallo!" I exclaimed, at the risk of be
traying myself-which was even less dan
gcrous than encountering a horseman on
8Uch a road .
“There is a Christian passing along the
ravine! Keep off!"
it was too late. At that moment a man
on horseback passed round one of the but
tresses, which here and there obstructed
this accur,( ' d Pathway. He advanced to
ward me. I treiv * in my saddle; mv my
forehead was batlied in a cold sweat.
“For the love of God ! can you not re
turn ? I exclaimed, terrified at the fear
ful situation in which we were both placed,
“Impossible," replied the horseman, in a
hollow voice,
I recommended my soul to God. To turn
our horses round for want of room, to back
them along the path which we had travers
ed , or to dismount from them, were three
im PossibiIitics which placed us both in the
P res « nce a Jarful doom. Between
bor ^f n ‘ hus P lace <l. both upon this
ful path, *ad they been father and sou,
one of them must have inevitably
the prey of thy abyss. But a few
had passed and we were already face
face—the unknown and myself. Both of
halted in dead alienee. Abwe was
smooth aixl lofty wall of the hacienda ;
Crawfordville, Georgia,-March 1, 1878.
the wall, opened the horrible gulf. Was it
an enemy I had before my eyes ? The love
of my country, which boiled at that period
in my bosom, led me to hope it was
“Arc you for Mexico and the insur
gents I exclaimed, ready to spring
upon the unknown if he answered m the
ne /?ir IVC '
Mtxvom HimrgenU r that . is . my pass
word,” replied the cavalier. “I am Col.
Guarduno."
“And I am the Captain Castanos.”
Our aequaintahee was of long standing,
and but for our mutual agitation, we should
have had no need to exchange names. The
Colonel had left us two days since at the
head of a detachment, which we supposed
to lie either prisoners . or cut off, for lie liad
» ot becn seen tf > return to camp.
“Well. Colonel," I exclaimed, “I am
sorry you are not a Spainiard—for you
perceive that one of us must yield the
pathway to the other. “
Our horses had the bridle on their necks
and I put my hand in the holsters of my
saddle to draw out my pistols.
“I see it so Plain.'' replied the coloneh
with alarming coolness, “that I should
have already blown out the brains of your
horse but for fear that mine, in a moment
<.f terror, should precipitate me with your
self, to the bottom of the abyss.
1 remarked, in fact, that the colonel had
already, his pistols in his hands. We both
maintained the most profound silence. Our
horses felt the clanger like ourselves, and
remained as immovable as tt their feet were
nailed to the ground. My excitement had
entirely subsided.
“What are we going todo?" I demanded
the colonel.
“Draw lots which of the two shall leap
intoth* ravine. ’
u w.,m truth, the ,o| e>eans of saving
There are nevertheless some precautions
to take,” said the colonel. He who shall
be eondemned by lot shall retire backward,
It will be but a feeble chance of escape for
I admit; but it is a chance, and es
pecially one in favor of the winner.”
“ Y .° n CV ‘ n “ k ° U,e then !’’ X out ’
terrified 1 . at the coolness . with which . lie put
the proposition to me.
»ii • Mhceohmci ’ '"for 1 have ^mortal o!it
lag*, age to to avenge aveugi. But But the the time time is is slipping supping
?*? at the ■, last * ,M° lottery Ur at ? which hf°, P one of us will m
ever assist.'
llow were vve to proceed to this drawing
l |V lots? By moans of the wet finger. .JJAe
hsa infaato or Uoiu hv head and, tall, like
..-a
our hands
"brads of our give\ frightened start. horse Should ^ w.
them to !»tal
p a jmpoe of r; n n,_ Uie night was to
to sec which side i^rHupMard The.
thought him of an expedient of
Inev „ would have dreamed.
<.jj stC n to me, captain,''said the colonel,
- ,om ..j 1 haye h " d ano thcr way. ** 'I lie ^ terror
1;.
“Wins!” I hastily exclaimed.
‘Not . so—shall , . „ he . the loser, T i know
As
nmy be able to make yours
‘ ) l0 uimk , r uim {tom doing so is a
’
Wc waded... .... deep , and , anx.ou. . ,. silence
the voice of one of our horses should
forth. Th ssilcncelasted for a m.n-
5" an ag *' 11 ZL
. no exter
of his ioy, but no doubt
Uo<1 to the vcry bot tom of his
°y ou wi n a ii„ W me a minute to make my
h Hea n? .. j said to the colonel,
with a failing voice.
“Will five minutes be sufficient ?”
“It will.” I replied.
The colonel drew oat hi* watch. I ad
‘ ” 'whichT'^^^1 w^^Mkhlg upon
e , 8gt tjme an intcnse and a burning
l ’ rayer '
“The time is up,” said the colone .
I answered nothing and with an infirm
hand gathered up the bridle of my horse
and drew it within my fingers which were
agitated by a nervous tremor.
“One moment more,” I said to the colo
nel, “for I have need of all my coolness to
carry into execution the fearful man,, mver
which 1 am about to commerce.
"Grated,” replied the colonel.
Mv y education as I have told you, had
. th co ,; ntry . M y childhood, and
part of my earliest youth, had been almost
passed OB hor seback. I may say, without
my9e i f] that if the re wa.< any per
mn jn fh() world capa t de 0 f executing this
„ UMtnan feat) it was myself. I rallied
myself with an almost ,---^----------—• supernatural -»—, effort,
and succeeded ln recovering my self-pos¬
session in the very face of death. Take it
at wors t, I icu*ger had already braved it too
often often to to be be any any longer alarmed alarmed at at it. it. From From
that insta „t i dared to hope afresh.
As soon as my horse felt, for the first time
since my encounter with the colonel, the
bit pressing his mouth, I perceived that he
tiembied beneath me. I strengthened
myself firmly on my stirrups, to make
terrified animal understand that his
no longer trembled, I held him up with
bridle and the hams, as every good
man does in a dangerous passage, and
the bridle, the body and tha spur
succeeded in backing him a few paces.
was already at a greater distance from
colonel, who encouraged me all he
with hi. voice. This done, 1 let the
trembliitg brute who obeyed me in spite
Li- t«-rroi . repo*, him^r-lt for - few me
ments, iM the rewommenevd tlie-wno
give manoeuvre, tirtir ,siirl. eniy LieBlgs M legs
way me. A ‘■"nritiilh iiltjniili i
ran through ny whole frame. I closed my
eyes as if *out to fall to the bottom of
the abyss, a. > l *are my body a violent
impulse side next to the hacienda,
the surface (< which offered not a single
projection, trt a single tuft of weeds to
cheek my dciHmt. This sudden movement
joined te the^esperate struggle of the horse
saved myr.,. He had sprung up again on
hi* leg* *’..iej. «eeme«l ready to fail from
under bin, s* desperately did t feel them
tremble.
inches I sueceWe^Jn Void. jeaching a spot some few
A few steps would have
enabled nHo turn him round, but to at
tempt It vould have been fatal, and
I darediiM vnture. I sought to resume
my hack war i progress, step by step. ,
Twice tht/Wr,' threw himself on his bind j
legs, and fe , down upon the same spot. It
Was in valn.o urge him anew; the animal
obstinately efused to take a single step in'
the rear, f
Ncyarthe^s, I did not feel my courage!
exhausted tor I had no desire to die. One I
last and s Mery chance of safety suddenly
appeared to i„ t . like a flnsli of lightnin gaud!
I resolved' to employ it. Through the j
fastening < tny lioot, and in reach of uiy
hand, was|, assf , d a s j, arp
which I dr u from its sheath. With my
left hand Ch^n caressing the mane of
my totse Tuf *?’ the while lAttinv »in« P A „r
voice. poor animal replied to mv
caress by Vlaintive neighinc then not
to alarm blittle hi, abrupted mv hand followed
by little Id the curve of his neck and
final I v res „ pon t j le gpot where the last
of the vcLbrate Jt'„e unites itself with the
eraninm. horse trembled, but I calm
ed him wl«, my voice. When I felt his I
very life.,,t. so to speak, palpitate in his |
brain V |.ith mv lingers I leaned over
towards he wall mv ’feet eentlv slid
from the tirrens and with one vleorous
blow I bur^ the point of my knife h, the
seat of th vital principal. The animal
fell as if 'hunderstniek, without a single
mot ‘°n—*» for myself, with my knees,
about as dgh ns my chin, I found myself
on hwseti,- ‘"‘’"f” acrosa a corpse. I was saved !
* ri,lm l’ llnnt rr y. which was j
saddle saddle, V’^ myself down between * liuitt the ' ,fl wall th '' ;
myU my horse, and pushed
with agains’ the carcass of the
aiiinmie an^Jud vV), rolled down into the abyss,
then cleared at a few bounds tbs
:-’#■■/£ •*P**Uh« g:b separated the place where I
«e-itleu,ttS * m,,- f 7, and under the
^“ ‘^tion *
m of the terror . which,,; , , , ,
8, f U J| repressed, I sank in %,•
' "Inind. Whgf^ , eyes,
'
- ^Ukas bj^. . — __
Tt Hnimnnod ppe in ln -r„„. 10Xd,S
'
It happened right here in San An
One of the parties was a con
' ,n f ,tive fro,fl Co.iuectfbut and the
a commercial traveler lrom Now
mei was out of money, but had a
Cn M PWt ° 1 ' Ue 881,110 h " nSelf:
“I wonder if that hungry-looking
next door don’t want to buy a
pistol?” So putting the weapon j,,t„
his breast pocket lie walked into liis
room.
The invalid from Connecticut had been
reading about a noted Texan
for whom there was a large reward
offered, and lie fancied the description
fitted bis unknown neighbor. Con
scquently, when the New Jersey drum
mer entered the rooms, sliut tlie door
and put his hand in his breast pocket,
the Northern invalid began to shiver
and think of his past life.
“What—do—you—want ?” asked the
invalid.
The drummer drew a large ivory
handled revolver (answering the descrip
tion of tho one the celebrated des
peradoes used on strangers) and said :
“I want #25 for this pistol.”
The trembling hand of the invalid
could hardly find its way into his pocket,
“jt is a good pistol—it never misses
fi re,” said the drummer, bringing it t o
haff-cook. ,
• ' ,a ' y,r y<l money.
K a *P e .*> inv.i " .
i he (hummer took the money, laid
the pistol on the table an.l went out.
As soon as the door was shut the in
valid from Connecticut breathed a huge
sigh of relief and said to himself :
g)a(l the Texas desperado took my
money f. . What a country this is, ? when
j "... ,, , ■ b , d „ t ,
. , f
lcave lo morrovv u “'
North.'
As soon as the drummer got into his
room he remarked :
“I’m in luck. I’m glad that old
Texas ruffian took my pistol. I wonder
who he is going to try it on. I’m going
to get out of here in the morning, now
that I’ve got money to pay my hotel bill.
j And next morning both went off on
the same train. In about two weeks we
will scan the Northern papers for a story
a b< jut bow a noted Texas desperado rob
: ^ an iuvalid in a Han Ajitomo hotel.
San , Antonio JeraU .
------- » m- -
V , , j 1aJ j,. ^ j.- ’ )l 'W ,,]., lld 1,0, ' *'
Wind**, U»Ue ? Because il has
^ hrUff time V>eeii tho abode of ixmny
Kngb "toreign:
No.
POETRY
owe no man a Dollar.
Oh. do not envy, mv^wt. dear wife,
The wealth of our next-door m ighhor,
But bid me still to be stout of heart
And cheerfully follow my labor.
You must know, the last' of those Iittlh
debts,
That have been our lingering sorrow,
U paid this night: Mo we'll both go forth
And shake hands with the world to-mor
row'
Oh, tlie creditor is but a .shame-faced dog
With the debtor's name on his collar,
While I’m a king and you are a queen,
For we owe no man a dollar
Our neighbor you saw in the conch to-day,
With his wife and histlounting daughter,
White we sat down at %r coverless board,
T " a trust and a cup*>f%ater,
saw that a tear-drop stood in your eye,
Though you tried your best to conceal it;
1 knew that the coutrast reached your
heart, ^
And you could not help ottJB b4B Ktv it ;
Rut knowing now ; that faro
Has freed my neck fronfthe collar.
’ r °u'll Din my laugh and help me shout
That I owe no man a dollar.
T, '* S n “ 1 * hbor whose show ,ms
In In ZTi fact, is T"’ ft wretched . , , debtor; , ,,
1 R‘ty him of t, from my very heart.
A "' 1 1 wisl ' t,mt Ws lo< ,)ett ” r '•
Why the m » n ls t»o veriest slave alive,
F ° r hls das,,inR wlfe a, " ! daughter,
" 1,1 1,ve 1,1 Rt y |p though ruin should come—
U ^’ h< ", 'K°*- ,s Uk,! 11 a himb r eV01 to ^ the llay slaughter !
'
,,,
0 “’ ^ *° UM hu * lve °" uld , ,lc " ay
"uh us,
That he owed no a min a dollar 1
v„„ ■ h“« . , , . „ ^ ^ ''
Within two I mot him
Sneaking away with a frightened air
As if u fiend had beset him
Yet he fled from a very worthy man,
Whom I met with the greatest pleasure
Whom I called by name, and forced to stop,
Though he said lie. was not at leisure.
He he.l, Uiy last note I so 1 held him fast t j
Till he freed my neck from the collar ;
Then I shook his hand as 1 proudly said
“Row l owe no man a dollar 1“
Ah 1 now you smile, for you feel th« force
Of Urn tr«Wftimnri.ht 1.??7 honert'heart
) lf ne- Ull |li ‘ ff<' nl| e breast , was beating , .. , !
-
To-morrow 1*11 rise with a giant's strength
To follow my dally labor ;
But ere we sleep lets us humbly prav
For our wretched next-dow neighbor;
And we'll pray for the time when all shall
he free.
From the weight of a debtor's collar,
When the poorest will lift his voice and
enr i
Now I owe no man a dollar.”
miscellaneous.
--------------------- --------------
A Ghastly Resurrection Story.
11 having been determined, by several
of th '’medical fraternity, to dissect the
body of the negro John Smith, the
Chester murderer, a white man and a
" e 8 r ° weie, employed as the resurrection
^ s ' Alter taking up the body, it was
at onec •tripped, the negro receiving the
c *°H , i' | g to pay for his services. I hey
U “ ,n l’ laced W iu lto l 'in«°n’s old mill,
,l minous liuildiiig, situated about JOO
J >l| ds fiom the railroad depot, in the
8111 ml '’ s of Chester. Die body was
taken into Ul ' 4 « to ry. waa
propped up in a sitting posture, thereto
,ivva ‘*' ld’-asurc of the doctors.
About midnight, three well-known
ne 8 ln hummers entered tin: mill with
*-° P bi y ,l K a| iio of seven-up.
n, ? ht was daik UM(1 win<1 v - The gay
.
Hio ascended to the second story, and
soon k,l,tlIe ‘ 1 :t fll ' u of f:lt Hghtwood, and,
KuHieriiig in front of the fire-place, he
t *‘ m ^ ie £ Jlu,e * Sam dealt and “turned
” Hoinpey accused him of turn-
1,,g ll from t,lf; bottom. “You’so a lie,”
8am. “You’se anuder,” replied
omp . .« yoll ong , jt to be wboro dat big
uigger Is dat was hung to-dav ”
Just then tho last speaker J* liannencd f J, “
t , 0 , ast , li8 t0 Ul( . '
’ * rpse siumg “o' 1
. gl ^ ta
Parting
“ r '>>0(id-sliot sockets and dirocting
K« z e apparently on him.
,,e8S ’^” exciaimed Pompey, “wha
yonder?” His festive companions
their eyes in the direction that
trembling hand pointed, and taking
the situation at a glance, they
through the 0)>en window, at least
ty feet from the ground below, and
I ing on their heads, of course
uninjured, and made off as fast as
legs could carry them .—Charletion
— ♦
Mr. It. C. Shoemaker writes that he
cured many cases of hydrophobia in
and cattle by the nse of elecampane.
f 'rst dose for a man is one and a half
,; l < -'( ;am l’ ai| e root bruised, put in a pint
"e'v milk and reduced to one half by
mg, to be taken at one dose in the morning,
1 fasting until afternoon. The second
should be two ounces of elecampane treated
io a.similar manner, and third dose the
same as the second, to be taken every othoi
(Jay Thi;j relacdy> Mr . Shoemaker sa y3,
has been used in and about Philadelphia for
e* *■» f'jr t v \ < ;>r - ith Z rf f*UC
DEMOCRAT.
AI>Vr.KTI«I*C RITES:
S.jiiai.-, Square, firsl insvition & 1
each subsequent nisei tion 75
isquaie. thiet- months 10 00
Square, twelve niontlis „ 15 00
Column. twelve months 20 00
Column twelve months ju 00
Column twelve motitbs . 100 oo
tine Inch or Less considered as a
We have no fractions of a square,
fractions of squares will be counted as
I-jivera! deductions made on Con¬
Advertising.
Josh Billings on Flies.
A hate a fli. A fli has got no man.
ners. He ain’t no gentleman. He’s an
I iutrooder, don’t seud in kard,
no nor ax
an interduckshun, nor knock at the
I front door, and nuver, nuver thin* ov
taking off his liat.
Fust you kno bo is in bed With you
and up youi nnze— tlio what he wants
there is a inistry, and he invites hissclf
i to breakfast, and sets down in butter
’thout hrusliin his pants.
He hel|>« lilsself to sugar and meat,
and merlasses, and bread and presurves,
Mitd viuegy— annulling, and don’t wait
for no invitaahun. He’s got a good ap¬
petite, and jist as sun eat one thing ;u
another.
He’ll kiss your wife 40 times a day,
««><• f,uz you, and ridiktile you if you say
a word, and he’d rather you’d slap at
him than not; he’s a dodger of the
dodginis dine. Every time you slap you
don’t slap him, but slap tL yourself, La___ and
he nivvea " and idnta th. u. * "
. .... 1 . K«favates to dis
’ a you
tracksliun. „ He glories in lightin every
pop on the exact spot wliar you druv
him from,
’Taint no use to challenge him for
takln liberties; ho keeps ^ up a hostile
. Whether , ..
J' P° ' ,c « ** 1 you you
lke lt wr and 8,loots hisself at you
like a bullit and he nuver misses, nuver,
He was born full grown ; he don’t get
old—other things gits old but he nuver
gits old—and he is imperdent and mia
chivous to the day of his deth.
I has tliort much about fllae, and I
notist how often they 3 atop 7 in their dev
iltry to comb their heads and scratoh
their noze with thar fourlegs and gouge
thpir ar,n, ' ltS U,,der t,,ar wi, “ fS and tho
tops of thar wiega with thar legs. And
my kandid opinyin ai that fllze is loWsy.
Attho a fli don’t send in hts kard he
a Gays leaves one, and I don’t like it.
’Tisiit pretty, if its round ; hu kau’t
make a cross mark 1 only a dot, and he
Is dotting wlme thar ain’t no l’a. Than’*
no end to his nertoda iiich (but h* 1K<11
comes T™b to a f»» atopA handwriting *
Udimigreeabil.
He’s an artist, hut his fresco on his
P' 11 ,,a ,K,rin I don’t admirt Titer’s
too much , sameness In his patterns; bis
specs •»•«» «"> are «»• tlm onlv »P«» aneca that d,.,.'t dwl ‘ help
the eyes \ ou kant aa® throo uni, and
jou don t want to.
He droop* in cold weather, and yon
nan smash him on a window pain, and
you’ve jest, put your finger in it. He
comes agin next year, and a beep more
with liim ’Taint no use
He’s a mean, malignant owdashua,
m-emeddated uiiss
"iii’ii"r.
His morals was neglected, and he lax
a 8 0 "' 1 ,leal ot humanity mitely.
< >nc fii to a family might dofor amaze¬
ment, nut the good of *o many flize I
(logon ef I aee, can you ?
1 hate a fli.
Darn a fli.
How to get Along
J);iy as yo „ g0#
fjever fool in business matters,
i, 0 not kick every one in your path,
Learn to think and act for yourself,
No man can get rich by sitting around,
Keep ahead rather than behind the
times,
Don’t stop to toll stories in business
hours,
IIave OT( , (!ri J , y3terti) regularity and
promptness,
jjse your own brains rather than tliose
ofothcr8 _
1)n not m( .ddlo with business yon
know nf ,thing of.
A man of honor respects his word as
hej dwH his bond*
ff j, aVe a 0 f business bo
f ound there when wanted,
give . “"“l „ what , 0tl,m ,, you wh cannot . ‘‘ M yo " afford , because , but , " CV " t
' R faHlli ‘ ,llab, c
Lean, to say “No,” No necessity of
,
i sna PP»'K 11 Hog-fashion but learn to
iay g b.nily and rcs)H-,;tfully.
On a railway line, recently a passen¬
ger stopped the conductor and asked :
“Why don’t thc train run faster ?”
“It goes fasl enough to suit us. If
you don’t like the rate of speed, get off
and walk, ” was the rejoinder. “I
would,” replied the passenger settling
back into Ms seat, “but my friends
would not come for me until the train
comes in, and I don’t want to tie wait¬
ing around the station two or three
I hours.”
)
1 The Grand Jury of Houston county
recommended the indictment of various
parties, Road Commissioners, for failure
to perform their duties as the law
(lirMt8; aDd their action meets tlie
appr0Va2 of the citizens who have to
rrrlf | K t,, m-trkef
*
■ the up!” “De
“I’omiicy, corn’s com
1 up! why I only planted it yesterday.”
4<I but de hogs gi>w into it \**'
.
, night hid! gu/ it I;ft you h*i lu tcouuttd
on