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THE PEOPLE'S ADVOCATE.
CRAWFORDVILLE, GA.
Every s’tate and Territory in tin C don
lias an organized militia ev opt the Ter¬
ritory olL’tah.
Hit lumber of foreigners who took up
1 heir izidence in America last year was
f Id.!*, of whom 1 ls,”7o caun from
tiern.*(y.
Vint was once the heart ol tile Wir
coi>>» pine region i« now importing
thonands of feet of that timber from
Wellington State.
icncral Schkopp, of the German armv,
sas - “If his majesty draws bis sword it
wll never return to its scabbard until
hi last enemy is crushed, or he, with Ins
topic, is overthrown."
The increase of more than a million ol
icep in this country during the past
ear is more than matched by the m
reused use of wool in producing woolen
;ood.s, which was 59,000,000 pounds.
The Chicago Mail estimates that the
3,000,000 people who are expected to
visit Chicago during the World's Fail
will expend while iu that city not less
than $200,000,000. This is an average
of over $65 apiece.
The New York Hun figure that if six
men were to start on successive days from
six American cities, and travel in a
straight linn around the world to the
point of starting, the Chicago man would
probably claim to have made the quick
est time, while the Ohio man, if there
was one, would be the first to arrive home;
but the distance traveled by all six, il
added together, would fall 70,000 miles
short of tho railroad mileage of the
United States, double tracks not counted,
Should the Sandwich Islands really
become part of the United States they
will be tho most picturesque feature of
ties Republic, declares the Chicago
Herald. They deserve the title “Flow¬
ery Kingdom” perhaps even better than
Japan, since flowers bloom ou the
islands all the yoar round, ami are pecu¬
liarly beloved by all the inhabitants. The
/oreigu residents, and even transient
▼bailors, catch the native fondness for
flowers, and at times people of all torts
go T i$bout .-Arlantied with abundant bios,
J „
It occurred to the long-headed, pub
•m,*- **_ o. p-aM a*
the time had come to devise measures
for the preservation of the forests of that
State. Accordingly they procured the
introduction of a bill in the Legislature
which provided for the appointment . of
a forestry commission whose duty it shall
be “to examine and report on the con
dition of the slopes and summits of the
State and tho pressure or uUetice , ot .
forests thereon, for thc purpose of dc
term in ing the iuflueuce on the stage ol
the water in the rivers, the amount ol
timber remaining standing and how thc
supply be , increased , . ami , maintained. , . . - „
can
The American Library Association,
which ha* the co-operation of nearly all
the great libraries of f the country, „.;ii will
make a notable exhibit at the Worlds
Fair. It will include sample*, models,
and photograph* showing articles and
mechanical device* in actual u-e; print¬
ed matter, form*, blank*, constitutions,
by-laws, rulos for subscribers; accession
departments and their management; cat¬
alogue, classification and reference de¬
partments; binding department, with
sample* of binding, temporary cover*
and receipt* for restoring, mending and
,ng plan*, elevations, perspective* and
model* of the best library buddings.
There will also 1, atomic, library of
5000 volume*, selected from list* pre¬
pared and sent in by the various librari
aus of the country.
lt is related that a man who was writ¬
ing a history of New York employed an
expert to find out for him bow many
speculators in Wall street succeeded in
the long run. After a laborious iuves
tigatiou the expert reported that the
only single instance which he could dis¬
cover was a man from Rhode Island,
named Smith, who had actually woe
$30,000 in a speculation in the street
and Carrie'S the money away to specu
late no mote It was the single bright
instance in a long line of wreck*, add*
the New Orleans Picayune, and was
written down in the book to hand thc
name of Smith down to immortality.
Unluckily for hi* reputation, however,
hardly was the book published before
Smith turned up on the street and put
hi* #3o,000 into another speculation. He
never heard ot it agate, and the sole in¬
stance of a tamMttti sfaiutst a a*
i>lthlw*-| UcaUvJCd.
HOME.
The prince ri le* up to the palace gate*
Ani hu eyes with tears are dim.
For ho think* of the iwggar maiden sweet
Who inny never wed with him.
For home is wh'-r - the heart is,
Jii dwelling great or small.
And there'- many a splendid palace
Tha’ > never a home at all.
The yeoman conies to his little cot
With a sons when day is done.
For his dearie is -tan ling in the door
And his children to meet him ruu.
For home is where the heart in.
In dwelling great or small.
An f there’s many a stately munsiog
That’s never a home at ail.
Could i but Jive with my owu sweetheart
Hi a but with san>b*l floir.
I’d be richer far than a loveless man
With fame and a ijoHeii store.
For home L when- the heart is.
In dwelling great or small.
Anil a cottage lighted by love light
Is the dearest home of all.
—George Horton.
CUPID IN THE KITCHEN.
J1Y MAItV KI.VE IIAT.r.AH.
1IE cook has given
warning, and the
rhamlierinaid says
that, where Susan
goes she goes like¬
wise,” said Mrs.
Montgomery, in a
tone of despair.
“And as I have just
IrU-TI paid their wages
O if VI they are packing to
T-tk."' go. What wicked,
w icked women. Not
- a word of warning.”
“Why, mammal
what is the reason of
*
this sudden deser
tionl" queried Emily, the only daughter
of the house, aged eighteen—and she
laughed.
“Your papa found fault with the beef
last Sunday. Ah—there is nothing to
giggle over, i am sure," said the matron,
dropping into a rocking . hair- “A
week at the intelligence office for me,
while the house goes to wreck and ruin,
and your papa loses Ids Unifier over the
dinners, for old Mrs. Chump, the only
person 1 can send for, always ruins every
disk she touches.
“And we cannot Imvn Mrs. Chump
this time, nuuntna,” said Emily. “She
is in bed with rheumatism. I met her
little niece in the drug store buying
medicines and lotions for her, and she
said she was very lmd.”
“Then the end lias come!” sighed
Mrs. Montgomery. I’ll do the
“Don’t fret, mamma,
work," said Emily. “1 think it might
lie fun for awhile.”
“Do you!" Mrs. Montgomery asked,
sarcastically. “Ah!”
Emily laughed again.
“It's the best you can do,” she said,
“and I'll *iwe papa a high tea; with omc
letto and cbidken sandwich, and all the
C.’J things ifo likes, imd no doubt you
can And some otic to como to-morrow.”
“Oh, no doubt,” said Mrs. Montgom
PiSUTVSC '°"“i
Emily.”
“Good-bye, mum and miss,” said cook,
looking iu at the door. “Good-bye,
1 »“> “‘“■P
sure. No doubt there is them that might
if th(>y bu(l Uu . lwtlcncc u f Job:* not
else.”
“Goo I-bye, Indie*," said thc chamber -
maid; "I’m sorry to leave you, but
Susan and me goes the two of us to
^ um , if sllt . b illsultc .|, I
j atu likewise,”
«% “Good-bye,” said Entity, calmly. back.)
? Mrs. Montgomery turned her
a «»d muttered “Ungrateful wretches!”
between her teeth. I
“And 1 actually made over my navy
blue Bedford cord dress for that
woman,” she said, after the door closed;
"and never has she had to buy at: apron,
There, I’ll ^ go and begin my martyrdom ’
|( yQU ,, o ^ mto tl 0 klt .
j, u t,«» my rubber gloves ami my
mob cap, that 1 wear for dusting my
room—coal ashes are the ruin of the
liair—and a big apron—your looks ate
my pride.” kissed her mother, that she
~ Emily saw
went oil comfortably, and then obedient
ly donned cap, glove* and apron, ami
descended to the kitchen.
** Cook, in her wrath, chaos. had left the kit-j j
4 ben in a state of !
k I)iahe» piled high in the sink, towel* 1
on t j K . floor, pot* and kettles in sore
suUio / critici J onast Slav’s inner.
The U prospect was alarming, win, but Miss
Emilv to work with a finding
it rather more difficult than m her mex
pencnce she had suppowd, and w ishing
that her mother luui not so ctrrfuiU
guarded her delicacy at the expense of
her usefulness in kitchen affairs.
Just as she took her pot* and kettle*
m hand. Jack bpmner, the millionaires
son, flying along upon his bicycle, came
very near running into a young man who
sat upon a curbstone, moaning piteously,
and at once alighted.
“Good heavens’. I haven’t hurt you?” *
he cried.
“No, sir,” replied the person ad
dressed, who was enveloped in covered a mys
tcrious waterproof c.«tuaic, and
from head to f.n.t with ashes. “1 was
clone dead when you came up. I’ve got
the choietav or the typhus. I dunno
which, and I’ll Io*e mv‘ job. for 1 am
able for it no longer, and there’* no
mercy on you if you neglect a thing, il
it i* ever 10 with tou— no mercy."
“That !» very cruel,” said yocnu Spin
ner, who i.a-i the ten detest heart in the
world. “Is it that a»U . art you are
j r , v . 3 _-<
• It i* indeed,” .aid the unfortunate.
“And there i* » \ bar’i* to empty yit,
a:; i tin 1-4 ».• * ■ •« ;t. I c uM drive
bfc< k. but 1 couldn’t lift the Uer'U.”
At home they railed Jo. k i»-*n t^u.a
vtr, (or he *** ilup succor is $ *«a»
nor to Jack, ami these two were
young and liked sweet things, and Jack
declared that he had neve; had so de
lightfu! a lunch before.
It was a romance—which is different
from a flirtation—that little episode, and
it always remained in the memory of
those two young people as the sweetest
moment of their lives,
When her mother returned, Emily
wore cap, apron and gloves. The high
tea was ready, and all the work acenm
plished, after a fashion, ami the girl
looked .«•> pretty, so happy,
“Cooking must agree with you,” Mrs.
Montgomery said.
lint Emily did not speak of the ama
tcur ashman, or her lunch party of two,
until long after—oh, long, long atter—
for it was some days before Mr. Spinner
called on the father, bringing his son
with him—some weeks before they were
asked to an afternoon tea—some months
before Jack became an intimate friend of
the family—and quite a year before his
engagement to Miss Emily Montgomery
was announced to his friends.
And it was cnlv on the very eve of her
wedding that Emily told her mother that
Jack had fallen in love with her at first
sight, and how and when and where,
Ar,d Mrs. Montgomery declared tlntt
it would have been very, very shocking
—frightfully imprudent—if it had been
any one but Jack; but that made all the
difference, Jack was such a nice fellow,
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
Rose diamonds are liable to explode.
Some of the stars move with s veloc¬
ity of nearly fifty miles a second.
There arc estimated to be over six
hundred deposits of iron ore in the State
of Missouri.
The origiu of the geysers at Sonoma,
Cal., is supposed to be a voleauie crater
filled by a landslide.
The moon gives out heat enough to
affect the thermometer and make a dif¬
ference of two or three degrees.
If fish get beyond a certain depth in
the sea they die from the pressure of the
water, which they arc unable to support.
The most important domestic sources
0 f potash arc wood ashes, cotton seed
hull ashes, tobacco dust and tobacco
stems.
ProfcMor c> s . s nt of thc Arno , d
Arboretum, ^ Harvard University, has re
turnC(J ’
makj ” ft J of tllC bot J of the
■ , .
s ‘
11 18 not an eas >' ulatter t0 freeze out
trichinae. After subjection to a tern
perature of twenty-five degrees below
“ ro for two hours ‘hey again became
* ctive when CJC P 04ed t0 an<1 heat.
A simple method of keeping iron and
steel from rusting is to coat them with a
solution of rubber in benzol, made about
the consistency of cream. It may be
applied with a brush, and is easily rubbed
off when desired,
In oue of tho Comstock mines a new
water wheel is to be placed which is to
revoliiti.e. a .--iairte, aaJ^a'eti
a speed at its periphery of 10,805 feet
per minute. A greater head of water
than has ever before been applied to a
wheel will be used.
Interesting experiments on thc sense
0 f taste in ants have been made by H.
i) evaux Among other results he has
found that Lasius llnvs , wh il c fond of
su „ ar< dislikes saccharine. The ant*
4warme j around sugar laid out for them,
bat turned away from saccharine as soon
M th bad tiist ed it . Even sugar he
cantc unpleasant to them when it was
mixed with saccharine. It seems, there¬
fore, that sweetness is not the only
quality which attracts them to sugar.
It is very probable that, for health’s
sake, there will, after a time, be uni¬
versal crematiou ot tho dead in cities.
Burying in the earth is said to be very
inimical to the health of cities. Then
there will be no ground to spare for
burial purposes iu c-ouisc of time. It is
probable that the dead will be quickly
and effectually reduced to ashes by means
of electricity. The remains cf a human
body that has been cremated weigh only
eight ounces—no matter how fleshy and
heavy thc corpse may have been.
A kind-Hearted Giant’s Embargo.
A number of anecdotes have been told
Ute ,f a ‘ uou ? ° J ^ cuue ! >cc tuiu ‘
bermau, Bodlish whose stentorian voice
resembled reverberatmg thunder and
distmctly from kea
daH * Mills bridge to T.oon.c Fall*, a
di»Unw of two md^. An old-timer wyi
** 3 • w ° * c a VC
, .
nrer driver was drewn^ at Kendall
Mills and Bod^h having subscribed a
^ ba cJ the le in ai<i
of the .offerers. He laid down the rule
no . n JJJJ „ f ^
Je hat v he ^ ld
feiSlU when a coa- the
. • - a T^«n*riYn
^ “ Journal
Test For the Parity „ r Milk.
Whether it is worth while to know
exactly the degree to which one’s milk
toller is watering his milk is an open
question which each must decide for
himself. For those who do not consider
that ignorance is always bliss a simple
way of setting at rest any doubts ts to
tbe purity of the milkman s stock in
trade i* provided in a new gnlactometer. used for this
The instruments ordinarily with
purpose consist #f a glass tube a
graduated tcile paper ins.de, and
their record is not as a rule reliable. The
new instrument is said to be much more
accurate, and show* at a glance whether
thc milk ia pure or adulterated. The
instrument n a gists tune open at both
end*, along waieh a ..tt.e ■>*•! of biue
• glass acts , indicator. The den*tty of
tbi* ball 1U29, and it a w adjusted
j that it can float on*r oo pure
, Cbkago Meet iiecurd.
forlorn being in distress, maid or man—
it made no matter which. Now he.in
stantly b' thought him what to do for
this poor ash cart driver.
“Come along,” he said, taking the
man by the arm and leading him into a
drug store hard by. “I’ll tell the doctor :
to see you, and empty the rest of the
barrels for you—jolly fuu for me, you
know, and "you’ll keep your place, and'
all that.’’
The man, petrified with astonishment,
could only lift his hands, and in a mo
merit more a still mere astonished drug 1
clerk advance—and had a patient—well dropping; cholera paid for mix- in j
was
ture into i glass, and applying mustard
plasters, in the little back room behind i
the store. !
“S>x more houses,” said Jack, walk
ing beside the cart, “straight dowu, the
man said.”
He shouldered the first barrel and
dumped it. A shower of ashes covered
him, but he only laughed. Next came
a zinc can, quite elegant in appearance,
but tilled with decaying vegetables, and
orneiaented by the inanimate forms of
three murdered kittens.
Mr. Jack gasped, but he intended to
finish his work of charity now that he j
had begun it. And, with varied results, j
new experiences to him, the young ath
iete emptied live barrels. On the sixth
pavement he found none.
What an ashman’s duty invalid’s was he did’yd
know, but he had his interests
at stake, and must do his best for him,
so he descended the areaway and rang
the bell. In a moment a girl in a mob
cap, a big apron, and rubber gloves,
opened the door.
“Beg pardon, I am sure,” said Jack,
bowing, “but do you wish your Csh
barrel emptied?”
He spoke in the most elegant manner,
but lie was covered with ashes as with
garment; his mustache was whitened,
tin hands begrimed, cinders adhered jto
his hair and his face was dirty.
The maideu before him was not quite
free from marks of kitchen labor. It
was Emily, who had been washing the
pots and kettles for the first time in her
life.
“What a beautiful manner lie has.
she thought; “he must be some jinc in
re lucud circumstances.” I
And she smiled him: I “
upon gcntliman,
“You arc the-the ash I
suppose ' she queried.
“ call in that capacity.” said Jack.
“ Then if it ,s not too much trouble,
the ash can stands in this little place
under the front steps,” said Emily.
“No trouble whatever,” said Jack,
diving into the place indicated; "I’ll
bring it back when it is emptied."
-You are too kind," said Emily, un
aware of the pot-black ou her chin.
“Not at all,” said Jack of tho Cin
ders, and they bowed as if they were
dancing the lancicrs.
, ln a moment Jack had dumped tjio
ashes, and returned with the can.
He waa greeted with a great puff of
smoke, and Emily, blushing and cough
ing, came out into the area for air.
“Beg pardon,” %ii'L Jack; "but
house is not on lire i” *
"I hope not.” said Emily; "the fire
went out, and I’m trying to kindle it,
but it smokes so.”
"Perhaps it is the damper,” juid
Jack ; ‘ l II look, if jou don t mini .
“J shall be grateful, gasped Emily.
"It » the damper,’ said Jack “and
these things m thc ovens; now if I may
have a bit of paper and some wood t»
He found them himself, made a fire,
opened the windows and waited until |
the smoke vanished from the kitchen, |
and then shut the windows. i
“What a wonderful ashman,” Emily
thought.
“What an elegant girl to be a cook,”
Jack said to himself,
“It ia kind of you,” said Emily; “so
stupid of me. But I did not know
about thc dampers; l never made a fire
before, but the servants have taken
French leave.”
“Oh!” said Jack to himself. “The
young lady of the house doing amateur
kitchen housework. I might have known
l£ . And she think, me thc ashman,”
and he sighed. “Good-day,” he said,
bo wine
Before Emily could reply a head was
thrust in at the window—that of the
ashman.
“Ah' here you air, sir?” he said. “An’,
sure, the medicine the doctor did be
givin’ me has made me a new man, an’
I’m forever obliged. And sorry I am
you’ve spoiled the fine clothe* you have
on yc. And you’ll find vour boy-sucklc
in the doctor’s shop. I’ve trounced thc
rascal that was goin’off wid it to a
and “Oh, you Emily are welcome,” staring at said hun. Jack, j 1
now was
dor Iter breath,jmd Jack, lau,hmg, au
swered
first a»iKir(, sw tins was your
first fire,:’he said. “The driver was ill,
and l took his place It has been great
fun. though rether duty work. May I
introduce myself.
He took a card from his pocket and
presented it.
“! am Miss Montgomery, ’ said Emily;
“and i think my father ow*t know youre
very well, if you are Mr. William Spin
ner’s sou. They are ia the same busi
ness.”
So it proved. For special occasions
who can say what the etiquette msv bei
Kmily said tc hertolf that it would be
e UU j>;v huroinc to help this martyr to his
^indlv sympathies out of his coat of
and seat him to her brother’s waal [
r ,, (Kn lo o-j clothe* brush ini
mna ,
When he tact her n^aia she wore
neither tnob cap nor apron, but was at
j.f,.; , prettv morning >ire*s, and her
h *sr curled hewi; hiugly ou her
i,e*d.
\ a d, since ihi* was the son of her
father’* old friend, it reemed but ho»
p,r*;*;«• to ask hun to loach. Mam
would not be at home, sue was quite
, <*ne. It was awfully improper—but
tb-e latter point ueret occurred to haul},
m tb *NE L*
i ■wj &br\
r &
Veils are highly colored.
Tight shoes have had their day.
Satin is coming again in great fav or.
Novelty bengalines show electric et
fects.
Big hands looks monstrous in white
gloves.
Hats and bonnets for spring are things
of beauty.
Patent-leather tips are not the styh
any more.
All kinds of buds and berries are more
used than flowers.
High heels are not worn on the street
by sensible women.
Strings are the color of the trimming,
and full two inches wide.
There i» a prevalence of smooth, finely
woven surfaces in the spring woolens.
Fans most seen are of feathers with
shell sticks or of antique painted parch¬
ment.
Well-dressed women no longer lay in
a stock of boots, for the reason that
styles are variable.
The Princess of Wales has a new pair
of gloves. They are loug-wristed and
ten buttons. Each button is a diamond.
At a recent wedding breakfast in
Brooklyn, N. Y., the bride made a witty
speech in response to the toast in her
honor.
The fastest typesetter in California is
said to be a young woman who is em¬
ployed in a newspaper office at Santa
Barbara.
George Du Maurier, the English "so¬
ciety” artist, asserts that women are
growing taller, broader and generally
healthier.
Colored lisle thread gloves are not con¬
sidered “elegant" by the presumptive
critics, but they look nice and they are
cleaner than blaek.
Ouida has each of her favorite dog3
cremated upon its death, and has a little
“cemetery" for them connected with
her home in Florence.
White and gray feather boas are still
worn with decollete dress, but with the
new shawl effects they are superfluous
md must not be used.
Mine. Patti is said to have relinquished
her iutention to visit the birthplace of
her father in Sicily, owing to her fear of
possible capture by brigands.
Black kid is the most expensive glove
in trade. Dust-gray dress kid is the
best wearing. Brown is durable and
makes the hand inconspicuous.
The lady managers of the Columbian
Bxposi(io^uO|>e to collect for Che library
of the woman’s building every book
written by an American woman since
1630.
Bands of velvet are being worn round
thc neck inside the collar of the gown.
These are of any color to suit the dress,
and arc fastened with little fanciful stick
pins.
Natural flowers arc again worn in the
hair with dressy toilets, and very sweet
they look for the adoriug of fair young
girls and women not too mature in
charm.
The severe, but to some faces mo3t co¬
quettish, Empire poke comes in line,
colored chip, and is trimmed with vel¬
vet ribbon iu severe lines, and erect os¬
trich feathers.
Hairpins come now in sets of seven,
two large and live small ones, cut from
clear amber shell, with circular tips.
Some of the finest ones are delicately
tipped and inlaid with gold.
Mrs. Moncure D. Conway knew Mrs.
Thomas Carlyle very intimately, and pays
glowing tribute to her conversational
abilities, but says that she was wholly
destitute of housewifely gifts.
Mrs. Blaine will spend the coming
summer in Europe. Her youngest daugh¬
ter, Hattie, will accompany hei. The
residence at Augusta will be retained by
the family and not be rented.
Rip up your white China silk and send
it to a cleaner's. If thc quaiit is good
it is certain to clean well. Make it up
in empire style, wich sleeves of yellow
velvet and a narrow belt of the same.
The feminine law student iu the Uni¬
versity of Pennsylvania is Miss Angelina
Choynski. She joined the law school
about a week ago, and is already spoken
of as an especially bright student. Her
brother students allude to her as their
“sister-in-law."
Russian female convicts in Siberia are
in future, if a proposal made by the
Ministry of Justice to the Imperial
Council is ratified, to be exempted from
fioggiug and wearing irons. Restric¬
tions in diet and solitary confinement
are to be substituted.
Women who would retain the beauty
with which they have been endowed
should avoid peppered soups, stews,
game pates, ragouts, and spices, Wo
men of nervous and sanguine temper¬
ament should restrict themselves to a
diet of eggs, milk, bread, fruit, light
broths and crust icea.
Use tine cotton and a one-inch needle
to mend gloves. Regular glove sets,
containing a skein ot colored cottons, a
paper of glover’s needles, a celluloid
darner and a wax clover, can be bought
at any notion counter for twenty-five
cent*. It will last a family of girls un¬
til they arc ail married.
There are quite a number of women
in New York who earn their living by
taking in “baby boarders.” Taese little
tenants are anything but a burden to
their foster parent*, many of whom ere
widow* nt old ma;4* who have passed
the frivolous age an 1 cet a great deal of
comfort out of a ba>»j guest.
laugh and grow fat,
Aye, Uugh and grow fat:
Full often a ' hat
Prove* more potent than potion;
Laughter acts on the heart.
Gives the bicod a fresh start
And a Vigorous motion.
Yea. laugh and grow fat’
"Care,'’ you know, "killed the eat?’ —
It will you if you let it;
There's no surer relief
For many a grief
Than to laugh and forget it.
Tes, laugh and grow fat:
'though some sceptic hereat
May scoff, wholesome laughter
Doth body and soul.
Mind and morals, control;
They are all better aftjf.
Then laugh and grow fat!
Don’t be prim and “a" that;”
Why should features be lengthened?
Just smile till you’ve beard,
And I pledge you my word
You’ll be gladdened and strengthened.
—Yonkers Statesman.
HUMOR OF THE HAY.
Dust-proof—A bank-book.
In at the death—The heirs.
A dog star—The prize setter.
Tough characters — Hieroglyphics.—
Puck.
The crinoline is coming with a hoop
and a hurrah.—Washington Star.
“No, Maud, dear. Joan of Arc wa«
not Noah's wife.”—Philadelphia Record.
The greatest part of a self-willed man's
estate usually goes to the lawyers.—Troy
Press.
The newspaper man is the great
writer of the people's wrongs.—Galves¬
ton News.
The pen enables a young man to give
his girl an inkling of his sentiments.—
Texas Siftings.
There is some hope that the fashion
magnates will stave off the hoop-skirts.
—Lowell Courier.
To one traveling through the country
milestones are pretty good signs of pro¬
gress.—Troy Press.
When you see a boy unable to behave
himself you should lend a helping hand.
—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Every dog has his day, but the nights
belong to the cats and the clubmen.—
Kate Field’s Washington.
"Gee, that was a cold snap,” as the
bulldog remarked after biting the Bos
ton girl.—Philadelphia Record.
An Ohio physician proposes to abate
kissing, but the average young man pro¬
poses with a view to keeping it up.
"It is pretty hard to be shoved to the
wall this way,” plaintively remarked the
bill to the bill poster.—Washington
Star.
The mother who starts to get a sleepy
boy out of bed these mornings may be
said to have a rousing time of it.—Phila¬
delphia Times. how*
’ Citticus—*‘I wonder it is that'so
few women stutter when they talk!”
Witticos—“They haven’t got time.”—
Brooklyn Life. .
Mrs. New Lee Wed—“You are a fail¬
ure, John. You’ve never had any luck.”
Air. New Lee Wed— “Yea, once; I was
born single.”—Brooklyn Lite.
“You needn’t assume that I am holier
than thou air,” growled the Rochefort
to the Schweitzer; “everybody knows
you are not up to my tone.”—Puck.
"Why did Columbus forgive the mu¬
tineers?” asked the teacher. " 'Cause’
they was half seas over when they
kicked," said Johnnie.—Broklyn Life.
“I’m a 'Jonah,' ” said tbs urchin,
With a most expressive wai.;
“And 1 see by father’s manner, whale.”
I’ui about to meet a
—Washington Star.
"1 think,” murmured the handcuffed
convict, “that I must be a poor finan¬
cier, for I have more bonds on hand
than I can manage.”—Baltimore Amer¬
ican.
The two most exciting periods in a
woman’s life arc when she is listening to
her first proposal and bidding an a bas¬
ket of broken crockery at an auction.—
Siftings.
“Were you tn perfect health when you
were struck by the street car?” asked
the lawyer. “No, sir,” said the plain¬
tiff, “I was a good deal run down.”—
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Mrs. Goodkind—“There’s only one
trouble about poor Mr. Careless. He’s
generous to a fault!” Mr. Gruff—
“Humph! It’s a pity that he isn’t gen¬
erous to his family.”—Black and White.
In ’97’ Mistress (to her maid of all
work)—“Miss Mulloney, the fire is get¬
ting low; will you be kind enough to go
to my room and bring me three pieces
of coal from my jewel case. ”—Elmira
Gazette.
Making the Best of It - “Good morn¬
ing, Uncle Charles. Did you sleep well!
I’m afraid your bed was rather hard and
uneven; but—” “Oh, it was all right,
thanks. I got up now and then during
the night and rested a bit, you know.”
—Punch.
“Could you give me something to cat,
ma’am!” humbly asked the tramp in the
suburbs of Boston of the stern visaged
woman who opened the kitchen door.
“Yes,’' said the stern visaged woman,
as she energetically closed the door in
his face and locked it with a jerk. “I
could.”—Somerville Journal.
One of the richest specimens of a neat
Irish bull was perpetrated Irish by the knight. clever
and witty but blundering
Sir Richard Steele, when inviting an
English nobiemac to Tisit him. “If,
sir,” said he, “you ever come within a
mile of my house, I hope you will stop
there." —Insurance Economist.
Aboriginal America, in the person of
a Sioux squaw, ia to show its ideas on
dress at the World - Fair. She lives
near San Diego, Cat., and ha* been at
work for t no year* matting this gown a t
deerskin* embroidered w .tn -ixteea
pounds of beat*.