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VOL IIL---NO. 17. Cljc Hamilton Visitor D. W. f). BOULLY, Proprietor. CASH SUBSCRIPTION RATES. Ob# copy one year 00 One Copv six month# 1 00 One copy three month# 75 Any one furnish ina: five subscribers, with the money, will receive a copy free Subscribers wishing their papers change! from one po toffioe to another,. mut state the. nnuc of the post office from which they wish it changed, as well as that to which thv wish it sent. All subscriptions must be paid in advance The paper will be stopped at the end of the time paid for, - unless subscriptions are pre viously renewed. Fifty numbers complete the year, CASH ADVERTISING RATES. fp\cs Imo 3 mos 6 mos 12rao< 1 inch .. . $ 2 50 '$ 4 50 ’* 6 00 *WOO 4 inches.. 450 725 11 00 13 00 s inches.. 500 900 15 00 22 00 i inches .. 650 11 00 18 00 27 00 1 Column.. 650 14 00 25 00 35 00 t column.. 12 50 25 00 40 00 00 00 ’ column.. 22 00 41 00 62 00 100 00 and deaths not exceeding six lines will he published free. Payments tn he made quarterly in advance, according to schedule rates, unless otherwise sg-e-d upon.. Persons sending advertisements w ill state the length of time thev wish them published and the space they want them to occupy Parties advertising by contract will be re atricted to their legitimate business. * T.soai. Adyerti-cements. SheriiTe sales, per inch, four weeks. . .$3 50 “ mortgage fi fa sales, per inch, eight wsieks 5 50 Citation for letters of administration, guardianship, etc., thirty dtfys 3 00 Notice to debtors and creditors of an estate, forty days 5 00 Application for leave to sell land, four weeks 4 00 Sales of land, etc., per in h. forty da vs 5 00 “ “ perishable property, per inch, ten days 2 00 Application for letters of dismission from guardianship, forty days 5 00 Application for let ters of dismission from administration, three months 7 50 Establishing lost papers, tire full space of three months, per inch 7 00 Cemoel'ing titles from executors or ad ministrators. where bond has been given hr the deceased, the full space of three months, per inch 7 00 E* ray notices, thirty days 3 00 Ru e for foreclosure of mortgage, four months, monthly, per inch... 6 00 gale of insolvent papers, thirty days. . 3 00 Homestead, two weeks 2 00 Oard.g '"TDr- ‘X 1 - j-i-.J'einls.lin.s, -0 "ty-' 'ffcP'' %§§j||F HAMILTON, GA. By J- T. MGGINBOTHEM. WEST POINT, GA ~ALONZO A. DOZIER, ATTOnSET AND COUNSELOR AT LAW, COLUMBUS, GA. Practices in State anil Federal Courts in Georgia and Alabama. Office over C. A. Redd k. Co’s, 126 Broad st. dec4-6m SANDY ALEXANDER'S BARBER SHOP, Oglethorpe street, Columbus, Ga. Give me a call when you come to town, an<l 1 will do my best to please. decll-fim 2£lnes Uoiaior, ATTORNEY-AT LAM’, HAMILTON, GEORGIA Will practice in the Chattahoochee Circuit, or anywhere else. Office in the Northwest corner of the Court-house, up-*t;irs. janß ED, TERRyTbMUIER SHOP , COLUMBUS, GA. Go to Ed Terry’s, if you want on easy shave, and your hair cut by first-class bar ker* and in a first-class barber shop. Loca ted under the Rankin House. eep4ly YIsVjSK rnHOUSE COLUMBUS, GA. J. W. RYAN, I’rop’r. RUBY RESTAURANT, Bar and Billiard Saloon, UNDER THE RANKIN HOUSE, janio J. W. RYAN, Prop’r. Read This Twice. The People’s Ledger contains no continued Stories, 8 large paces, 48 columns of choice miscellaneous reading matter every week, to gether with articles from the pens of such well-known writers as Nn-hy, Oliver Optic, Svlvar.us Cobh. .Tr., Miss A'cott, Will Carl tori, J. T. Trowbridge, Mark Twain, etc. I will send the People's Ledger ts any address every rceek for three months, on trial, on receipt of only 50c. The People's Ledger is an old established and reliable w< eklv paper. published every b -'urday, mid iavery (WpuUvr throughout the Kew Pc t land and Middle states. Address HERMANN' K CURTIS. Publisher. dec2s-3m 12 School st. Boston, Mass. NOTICE. Having heretofore held stork fa the Geor gia Home Insurance Cos., of Columbus, {fa.. I hereby give notice that I have sold said stock and transferred the same, and under section 1496 of the f.jdecf 1818.1 tun hereby exempt from any liabilities of said Company. A. WTTTIOkL Trustee, Hamilton fHH Visitor. A FORTUNE FOR 81! One Gift is guaranteed to one of every eleven consecutive numbers. $50,000 for ONE DOLLAR UOW IS TOUR TIMS. Fortune helpe those who help themselves. 500,000 Tickets, at $1 each, mim bered from 1 to 500,000, indusi. e. The: exceedingly low price of tickets brings it within the reach of all. B.mwA In fcivl of Public Improvements in the city of Denison, Texas. THE] TEXAS Gift Concert Associat ion WILL GIVE A GRAND CONCERT WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, 1875. And will distribute to the Ticket-holders $250,000 IN GIFTS. DEPOSITORY. FIRST NIT. BANK, DENISON. Distribution to commence immedi tely after tkeCoivert. Managers of distr bution chosen by Ticket-holders and prominent citizens. LIST OF gifts: 1 Grand Cash Gift $ 50.00 Q 1 “ ' “ “ 25.000 1 .. 15.000 1 10.000 1 . . 6.000 1 2,600 1 1,500 10 .. .. Ifsoo each.. 6.000 20 .. .. .. 250 .... 6.000 50 150 .. .. 4.600 50 100 .. .. 6,000 100 50 .. .. 5.000 100 25 .. .. 2.500 200 20 ■ .. .. 4,000 500 10 .. .. 5,000 1 000 6 .. .. 5.000 1.500 ’ 21.. .. 3,760 46,250 ■ 1 .. .. 46 250 49,767 Grand Cash Gifts'aro’nt'p; to $200,000 22 prises in real estate am't'g to 50,000 49,789 Gifts, amounting to $250,000 Please address us for circulars giving ref erences and full particulars. A st ’lenient ef tbe distribution will be pub lished and forwarded to ticket-holders, and all gifts promptly paid after the distiibution. ullgUfllsd RESPONSIBLE PERSONS WANTED' to work for the interests of this Association, Lifiße.AU Commissions Allowed. HOW TO REMIT TO US. Money should be sent by Express or Draft, Post-office Money Order or Registered Letter. Address all communications to AU’HEUK R. COLLINS, Pcc’y, oct23-td Denison, Texas. t, ESTABLISHED 15 YEARS, A STANDARD- INSTITUTION, LARGEST, CHEAPEST AND BEST IN THE SOUTH. * The onlv Business School in the South eon ducted by an esnerb need Merchant and l’rae tical Accountant, llie aciual expenses of students are from fifteen to twenty per cent less than it will cost them to ntteiul second class, of imported institutions. The Courseof Study is conducted on Actual Business Principles, suoplicd with Banking and other ofliccs. combining every known facility for imparting a Thorough Practical Btwness Education in the shortest possible time and at t' c least expense. Graduales of t Li- in-tilution, as practical accountants, stand pre-eminent over ttiose -from any otliei Busi ness School in the countiy. The cslabli hod reputati ri of this Institu tion, the thorough, practical course of its study, and the success of Us Graduates, ratlks it the leading BUSINESS SCHOOL IN THE SOUTH. Our course of a ere at, business training is the best and most practical of the age. No vacations. Students admitted at anytime. No classes. Business Advocate, containing full particulars, mailed to any address. B. P. MOORE, A. M„ President. MOTHER’S MAGAZINE Is one of the oldest and l-est monthlies for the family circle within our jmowtedge, —!t- --is ably conducted, and its pag< s well filled by talented and experienced writers —Christian Observer it Commonwealth, Louisville, Ky. Tt is a very useful and instructive maga r-.e. and should be in the hands of every mother. —Haverhill Gazette, Mass. Terms, SI .60 a year, postage paid. Care fully seh Cted Ancvavlfigs to subscribers, at exist. Send ten cents for specimen copy an<j terms. Address. Mother’s Aiagazine. P. O. box "157, New York. declß-8t SPIKJTU Al ISM* The recent extraordinary attention the | gnbjeet is attracting, and its investigation by I eminent scientists, increases the demand for current literature devoted to the subject In order that all may become familiar with the most able, fearless and widely circulated ex ponent of s) iritualism, we will fend the Ee ligio-pbilosophical Journal three moot hi for thirty cent', portage prepaid by us after Jan. 1. 1875. The Journal is a large week ly paper, regular price $3 per year— Mow in os ninth vear. Address S.fS. Jodcp, Editor, jgO E. Adams St, Chicago. decl&-2sa HAMILTON, HARRIS CO., GA„ FRIDAY, APRIL 30, 1875. A THRILLING AD YEN TUBE. It is perhaps twenty-five years ago That I lived yonder in the Tyrol with my relations. I was then a vigorous, powerful man, for whom there was no greater pleasure than to climb tip the mountain with my rifle on my back. No chamois path too steep then —no eagle’s nest too high. My two cousins, likewise strong and nimble ; lads, shared with mo the passion for the chase. A\ hen a chamois had been tracked, or an eagle’s nest dis covered, we three cousins were sure to be not far off. All the valley knew this, too, and brought us word when anything ap peared. One day a shepherd boy informed us that on the ledge of the precipice there was lodged an eagle’s nest, in which, as far as he could determine, two young eagles were fluttering. The precipice led into the depths of a frightful abyss, and the ledge was only to be reached from above, bv descending on a rope. Tho dan ger of the pursuit, when such a noble booty was at stake, could not. deter us from attempting the hazardous en terprise, and I even promised to take the nest myself. The next morning we proceeded, well loaded with strong ropes, up the i mountains. I had provided myself ■ w ith an Alpine staff, whose iron point had an unusual length, and might l serve me as a weapon of defence in ! ease of necessity. Besides this, I wore my great clmmois-knife in ray j belt. 1 Arrived at the summit of the rock, I lay down, with half my body ex tended over the precipice, and gazed down into the depths to discover the ledges. Tt was a terrible sight; how ever sharp my eyes were otherwise, ihey did not rfeach the bottom of the abyss that stared at me only like a black chaoß. Thp ledge with the ea gle’s nest was easily found and lay about seventy or eighty feet below the summit on which we stood. There were nestlings, as tho lad had seen quite young eagles in their hard, knotty hod of twigs, the older possessors of which, the male and female, in all probability', had flown away in search of food. Since it was early in the morning, we might expect that they would not return soon, and determined to set to work at once. My two cousins now put ono end of the rope around the thick stump of a tree that stood upon the summit of the precipice, while at the other .end was fastened a firm, wooden cross piece by the middle, and in such a way that I could use it as a seat in my dangerous descent. Besides this, I wound about my body a short rope, which, however, was fastened to the longer one, so that I should not he embarassed in descending and as cending. This was a measure of pre caution, in case I should slide from the crosspiece. When evetyihing was in readiness I lay cautiously down upon the rock, with my feet toward the precipice, and extended upon my belly, pushed myself slowly with both fiands to ward tlie verge, and hung over the abyss, whose whole terrible depth T now overlooked. It was the first time that I ever attempted such an exploit. And it is a peculiar feeling to hover thus in the air,! igh aloft on a slender rope that may break or slip off at any moment, nnd under you a black, ugly chasm, whose immeasura ble depth yawn awfully upward. Had not the pleasures of the chase thrilled ail my members, and the fear of my cousin’s ridicule restrained rue, I should have almost begged to be drawn up again: I did not, however, hut only asked for my hat and staff, and slowly sank into the abyss. You will spare me the description of this descent—lt is not associated with the most agreeable reminiscences of my hunting life. Suffice it 1 1 say that after a journey through tlie air of about five minutes, I arrived in the neighborhood of the ledge : beside it, to my great joy, I descried a smaller ledge, upon whose surface I could find foothold. When the young, still almost unfledged brood perceived me, they opened their bills wide, and 'ifted their featherless wings as if they wou'd fly away. . Without paying further attention to them, I clenched a cleft of the rock, planted my foot upon the ledge, and stood now freely breathing and successful, on my feet again, knowing that terra firms was under me. Silently, and with the least possible noise, I made my preparations. The side pockets of my coat were so large, that a young eagle had ample room in each of them. Not to be Hindered in taking them from tho nest, I made a signal to ray cousins above toslacken the rope, anil was just upon the point of stretching out niv nrra and seizing one of the young eagles, when a pe culiar cry sounded shrill in my ears. In the midst of a rustling, tha’ sound ed like the flapping of wings, rang forth a shrill, hs’f-piping, half-plain tive sound, that every moment ap proached nearer, and finally changed to a cry of anguish. Turning my head in the direction of the noise, T perceived an vagi l ' larger than any T had eve seen. With all the impetus of his headlong flight, and with eves flashing rage, he was rushing down on me, tho robber of his children. I knew that I was lost if I did not. suc ceed in enfeebling tho onset or laming his wings. In a trice T had seiz'd the rope again with my left hand ; with my right I grasped with nervous force the lower part of my staff, drove, the ice-spur of my left foot as deeply as possible into the weather-beaten rock of the ledge, to gain a support, and at tho very moment that tho eagle, shrieking and flapping his wings, plunged down upon me, 1 gave such a violent thrust at his breast that the iron buried itself deep it his flesh, and, severely wounded, he heat his wings together. Ilia power of flight I saw was weakened; but, at th” same instant, through the violence of the attack, I, too, lost my equilibrium, my foot, stumbled, and I staggered backward into the abyss! The blood froze in my veins, but I did not lose consciousness for a mo ment. Tn the midst of my fall I seized with both hands the rope. T felt the stick at the other end of the rope, and upon which I sat, break under me through the sudden plunge and tho weight of my body, and that T was only connectod with the upper world 'iy tho second small rope that was wound about my body. “ Draw in ! draw in 1 ” rang iny clear cry to my cousins above, who an swered my signal, and the rope was once drawn in. I hovered upward. The severely wounded eagle, as I could still observe was striving to cliug to the rocky ledge, and reach his nest. I was, in my youth, one of the first wrestlers, and tny arms and muscles were of such strength that they could be measured against the best in all the mountains. But I was, and a|n, also what is called a “ matt of corpu lence,” and soon perceived that the rope in the ascent of eighty feet could not alone hear my heavy,body. Neeessatily my ai ms must lend as-is tanee if I would reach tlnWfiffrirnmit. I did all that was in my power, and clenched with both hands the large rope; but I had not calculated, that through the weight of my body, as cent must proceed hut slowly. Longingly I directed nty glances above. Repeatedly I cried to my cousins to “Draw —in—draw—in!” They answered encouragingly, but the ascent, however, was not on this account quicker; the muscles of my arms were strained to their utmost and my strength was failing more and more. Suddenly I felt, that a cold, clammy sweat was covering me. As I looked longingly toward the top, I observed —an icy chill even now mbs through me —that under the weight of my body the knot of the small rope was slowly unloosening from the larger, and with every second the moment, drew nearer when I must solely rely on tbe al ready failing strength of my arms. I shall nexer in my life that moment. ’Vith every pull from above the knot lengthened, the plunge into the abyss wts nearer. “Once more,” I cried, ir. the deepest anguish of my soul, to my cousins; closer and more convniiively mv hands grasped the roi'c; t}en I closed my cues— commending my soul to God. The Lord in Heaton helped. “Seppel! V a voice cried, on a sud den near me,and seized my hair and drew me tfwnrd it. “Seppe!, for G d’- sal-e, what, has happened to you? Whet; i your hat— ottr staff? ” I opened tiy eyes. My two cous ins were koei'ing upon tlie precipice, and draw ing in :bo rope to bring me to frra firrrn. I bad been nearer thel op th an I had supposed. The kno 1 , although already half loosed, 1 had continue! to hold and bear its burden till the last. Perhaps two minutes later the end would have slipped and sent mo into tho abyss. When I reached the summit of tho rook, I sank to the earth in a swoon. How long I lay thus I know not; but when, a few days afterwards, I awoke in tho house of my relations, and learned that I had had a high fever, and been delirious, my eldest constn, smiling, hold a glass before me. My hair was snow white. A Gratuitous Puff. The attention of our readers, says the Brooklyn Daily Union, is respect fully directed to the following busi ness circular issued in (he interest of the liquor trade: To the Public.— Death & Cos., wholesale and retail dealers in spirits and malt liquors, take this opportu nity of informing their friends that they continue (he trade of making drunkards, bankrupts, beggars and maniacs, on reasonable term?*, at the shortest notice. The advertisers return their sin cere thanks to numerous customers, and to all the tippling part of the community, for the extensive patron age they now receive; and they hope that many proofs that are now to bo found of their success in tho above line of business will secure them tliej increased support of all drunkards and little-drop drinkers, as well as forever silence Ihe advocates of total abstinences societies, those bitter ene mies of their long-established and popular trade. .Death fc Cos. beg leave to assure the public that the article in which they deal is tho best and most pleasant poison in tho world; and they will warrant it certain death in every case where the individual perseveres in the use of it. Death & Go. bring themselves un der obligations to send more persons to the poor-house, the prison, gal lows and grave-yard, than any other firm; and they will also do it with tlie greatest possible dispatch ; to ao eomp'ish tlieo deshidilo ends, it is only necessary for the individual to take a glass occasionally, till he feels that quantity insufficient to gratify the craving appetite which* it will soon create; and when this whisky, gin, brandy, ale or porter appetite is formed, the person is then prepared to brave temporal misery for thu sake of another glass. In short, Death <fc Cos. will spare no pains or expense to bring the wives and chil dren of their customers to misery, temporal arnl eternal, wd drive. 1# delirium and death as many as the public good requires, They are con stantly receiving new supplies of the poisonous liquid which they will soil by tbe glass, baji^ For tbe accomodatirfh of their nu merous customers, and for the dis patch of their increasing business, D. <fo C. have appointed a sufficient number of active agents, who are stationed at convenient distances, in splendid palaces, beer shops, and pub lic houses. These,palaces, beer-shops and public houses may he known by tbe squalor, filth, obscenity, or misery of the customers who congregate around them, as well as by the odors of the poisons continually polluting the air around. Satisfactory references can bo given to county jails, houses of correction, lunatic asylums, hospitals, work houses, insolvent debtor-courts, the court of bankruytey, of the wives and families of those whom Death Cos, have had the happiness to make drunkards.- N. B.—Death & Cos. beg leave to caution all tipplers and dram-drinkers from giving any heed to their wives, children or friends, or to any advo cates of total abstinence societies, as these parties are enemies to this soul and body destroying business. Gen tlemen, by calling on our agents, may see specimens of drunkards, and sub jects-for the chftPftd-hQWM, —at—off- hours by day and by night, Sundays not cXcepted. Death A Cos. fS’?” A greenhorn sat a long tirne very attentive, musing upon a cine bottoro ebay - . A 1 length he saidj “ I wonder what fellow took the trouble to find til! them ar holes and put straws around ’em ?” “ Why, Tehabod, I thought you got married more’ll a year ago.” ** Well, Atint Jerusha, it was talked of, but I found out that the girl and all her folks were opposed to it, and so I just gave ’em all the mitten’ aud let the thing drop.” Letter from “Tom Toodlcs.” Cincinnati, Onto, April 18, 1875. Mn. Boui.T.v: —l promised to write to yon as soon as I got here, nnd 1 would have done so, if it hadn’t been so cold that all tha ink was frozen; though the first two or three days I was here it was very warm, nice weather; but you see Iliad to look around a little and find something to write about. I don’t think if I were to walk about tho roads bore for three or four weeks I would find any items to write about, because nobody will toll me anything I ask them. I saw a little fellow on the cc i ner close to where I am boarding, with a bundle of papers in his hand; he was hollow ing as loud as over he could,' but I could not tell what he said. I listened a long time, and tried to tell what he said, but I Mould not. I concluded he was talking Dutch. After awhile a fellow stoppeE|pd gave lsma nickle and Jl I boy'gWC lain a I went up to hi n nnd told hiqtl wiuld lake a Hamilton" Visitor. yle laii] something about ju’eeifs, and handed mo one. I ga* him twpntv-fi.vor’! cents, and 'then I told himfto hand me the change. lie said ho didn’t) have any change, but.lre would go and have it ohnqfed. waited for him until I hearer a horn blow for dinjter, so I thought I would go and then coine back and look for When I cam? back he/i-as not llmro, so I concludejfl ho had forgot about it,. Then I thought about tho paper; I sat llorwn on sum® steps to road it. I got it out of my pocket nnd found tho little rascal had cheated me. lie sold me an old paper called Tho Cin cinnati Commercial. I thought I would read it a little anyhow; after reading it some tiino I concluded it was a story paper. It had a long story in it about a fellow that loved another man’s wife. His name was Henry Ward, or something like that. I thought may be it had another story in it; but it was all about Henry Ward and the woman. lam going to lake care of it and bring it home to Julia; she is ever so fond of love stories. I will let you read it too, when she gets through with it. There was another follow sitting 011 the steps; I naked him if ibis was the court-house; ho laughed and said no, that it was the post offico. So I thought I would go in and get a let ter from home. I asked a fellow who was looking out through a little hole if there were one for me; ho said door,” so I went to the next door, but they wouldn’t let mo comm in. I told them I wanted to get and letter; a fellow with red hair said, “go to IJIO general delivery for let— teVjJ’ Jooked all around and saw another bole with a man’s head in it, and “general delivery” printed just above it. I went up to the fellow and asked him if there were any let* ters for me; ho looked at tne and asked me “ Who?” I told him me; he said “ Who is me ? ” Then I told him my natnC, and asked if lie did not know I was in town; he laughed and looked like ho was glad to see me, but did not gb'o me any letter. I went out and sat down ott the steps to look at the people ; thMo were a great many of them; it was first Tuesday, so I knew bow to account for it. There were a great many yaung ladies, ugly ones too. I looked a long time for a pretty one, but I did not see one. I concluded that there w4re no pretty ones, and so I told thn fellow who was sitting by me. Ho said if I would go out to Lincoln Park about 5 o’clock I would see plenty of pretty girls. I nsked him how far it wfts; he said “about three miles.” So I concluded I had better ho going, and asked him which way to go ; he told mo to go the way that car was going—that it went di rectly to the Park. I ran to keep in. sight of it, but I could hot, so I thought I would follow tlie trank; pretty soon another otic came along; I asked the man who was driving if he was going to the Part; ho said “yes, get in.” I got in and then he wanted pay; I akod hhn how much it was and he said ” foyr cents.” I told him I Was W;ing all ihe way; he said, “ all right, just give me the mon ey,” and I gave him twenty five cents: he gave me a handful of small change. I thought he had made a mistake, though I did not tell him so. The follow whipped up his horses, so we got there in less than no time. I knew that the fellow who said it was three miles was lying when he said it. 1 walled ail over the field; though there wasn’t any cotton or corn plant- $2.00 A YEAR. ed in it, there wore a great many other pretty things. There were women ent out of whit® rock without any clothes on; dog® and deer made out of brass; springe that spouted the waiter up about a® high as tho house. After a while I began to feel tired, so I sat down on the grass, when a fellow with bln® clothes nnd brass buttons on them came up and told me not to sit on the grass. I got np nnd went to long iron bench where there srere some ladies sitting; one of them looked at mo nnd laughed; 1 said “ howdy,” then they all laughed sud went to another seat. I said to my self, they nee ln’t be putting on airs, my Julia is prettier than either cneof them. My Julia wouldn’t be o ught out without a chignon on, and niilher one of them had one. Then I lay down and went to deep. I thought E hoard somebody "say something about Bleeping bcuuty. Then I dreamed about nil tho pretty down South and the ugly one® jftll around me. After a while I thought there was a storm coming dip, and I awoke, nnd that same follow with the bine clothes and brass but tons was shaking me as hard as ever he could. I asked him what ho ; he said get up, and some thing about a station-house. I asked that fellow with Ids car had gone; ho laughed and said yes, but Another would be along soon. I got tip and started. It was night, but I could sec very well, as there were lamps upon posts, which were burn ing in ovory direction. After a while another fellow came along with hi® car. I asked him if he would take mo home; lie aaid lie would take me to tho post office; I told him that that would do, ns tho post office was not far from it. I gave him some of the small cliango the other fel’ow gave mo; he put some in a box and tho rest in Bin pocket. I was very hun gry when I got baok, but everybody was "done eating, so I went to bed. I could not sleep ranch; there wero people going along the road all night ringing bolls, nnd there were other larger hells and somebody w ith horns making a continual noise ail night. In tny next I will tell you some tliing about the people where I am stopping. Until then, I am, as ever, yours truly, Tom Toodlkb. WIT and HUMOR. In Boston, the other day, a vain young fellow dressed in a new spring suit, called at the house of a lady ac quaintance and asked her how she ■thought ho looked. “Yon remind me of early green peas,” waa the an swer. He was obliged to depart without a solution of his conundrum, but understood it afterwards when he licarJ a marketman say that early peas looked nice but were very in sipid, A party of Sioux Indians stolon patent ice cream freezer, thinking it was a hand organ, and stf the big medicine men turned the ernnk a week before they concluded there was no music in it. The log was so thiok in Troy early the other morning that the Times sol-- ernnly avers one could net distinguish a policeman from a hitching post across the street, if he didn’t know that hitching posts never snore. A butcher sold a sailor a ham on credit, bttt finding in a few days that he had pone to sea,growled, “If I’d a kno n that he wasn’t goin’ to pay. for it, I’d a charged hint three-pence more a pound for it—the rascal l ” “Come, come, my dear!” said n indulgent mother to her eldest hope, “ the sun has been up thas*'tv , o hours and hero you are notowttof bad-yet.’” "Oh, well, the son gps*. lav Bed at dark, and I’m up tilP wiUnigbt,” was the reply. * lifvr Asa yanng- <ftrkey, ereph>yed in a Savannr.u boarding-house, was trip ping home Shun-the store with a jug of ruobisses on his bead tbeoi fief'daw the bottom fell out and let (ho vessel and contents down OTer hie physiog nomy. He was surrounded in a few 'moments by about a dosen negro boys, and such a licking aa they gave him surpasses description. A man went borne the other even— and found his house locked up. Get ting in at the window with consider able difficulty, he found on the table a note from hia wife—“-I have gone out; you wiH find the door key oa one side the door step w At a recent deny foot-race be-€ tween two girls the one with thu blue garter beat,