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VOL. III.—NO. 18. C|c Hamilton Uisitor D. W. I). BOULLY, Proprietor. CASH SUBSCRIPTION RATES. One copy one year $2 00 One enpv six months , 1 00 One copy tlivee months 75 Any one furnishing five subscribers, with the monev, will receive a copy free Subscribers wishing their papers changed from one po t office to another, must state the name of the post office from which tliev wish it changed, as well as that to which t'nev wish it sent. 1 All suhscrintions must be paid in advance The paper will be stopped at the end of the time paid for, unless subscriptions are pre vionriv renewed. Fifty numbers complete the year. CASH ADVERTISING RATES. Spark 1 mo | 3 mo* 6 mos 12 ims ] inch ... i 2 $ 4 50 TITOO S~hTOO 2 inches .. 450 725 11 00 18 00 a inches.. 500 900 15 00 22 00 4 inches.. 550 11 00 18 00 27 00 } column.. 650 14 00 25 00 35 00 A column.. 12 50 25 00 40 00 f,O 00 1 column,. 22 00 41 00 62 00 100 00 Maniages and deaths not exceeding six lines will be published free Payments to he made quarterly in advance, according to schedule rates, unless otherwise iigreed upon. Persons sending advertisements will state the length of time thev wish them published and the space they want them to occupy. Parties advertising hy contract will be re stricted to their legitimate business. Tjmal Advertisements. Sheriff e sales, per inch, four weeks.. .S3 50 “ mortgage fi fa sales, per inch, eight weeks 5 50 Citition for letters of administration, enardianship, etc., thirty days 3 00 Notice to debtors and creditors of an estite. fortv days 5 00 Application for leave to sell land, four weeks 4 00 Rales of land, etc., per in h, forty davs 5 00 “ “ perishable property, per inch, ten davs 2 00 Application for letters of dismission from cmrdianshio, forty davs 5 00 Application for letters of dismission from administration, three months 7 50 Establishing lost papers, the full space of three months, per -inch 7 00 Comoclling titles from executors or ad ministrators *vherc bond has been given bv the deceased, the full spac* of three months, per inch 7 00 Es rav notices thirty days 3 00 Ru e for foreclosure of mortgage, four mouths, monthlv, per *noV, fi 00 Rale of insolvent pipers, thirty days. .. 300 Homestead, two weeks 2 00 !0 'VJLst'S. n<3m s Onr c3L si TITOS. S. MITCIIELL, M. />., Resident Thysician ami Snraon, HAMILTON GEORGIA Ppccial attention Riven toj operative hot gtry and treatment of chroi 'c li* use*. HZS* Terms C' ikli 'iS-N SJ® PRESTON GIBBS, * SURGEON' and PHYSICIAN. Hamilton’, Ga. Will be found at the hotel or Uie"stnre of IV II .ioi.ii-t.in unless profe sionally entrasred CHA TTA HO O Oil EE HO USE, By J. T. HIGGINBOTHEM. WEST POINT, GA ALONZO A. DOZIER, Attok.yey and Counselor at Law, COLUMBUS, GA. Practices in State ancFFederal Com Is in Georgia and Alabama. Office over 0. A. Re Id & Go’s 126 Broad st. dec4-6m SANDY ALEXANDER'S BARBER SHOP, Oglethorpe street, Columbus, JGa. Give me a call when you come to town, and 1 will do my best to please. decll-6m ATTORNEY-AT LAW, HAMILTON, GEORGIA Will practice in the Chattahoochee Circuit, or anvwhcre else. Office in the Northwest comer of the Court-house, up-stairs, j 1118 ED. TERRY 8 BARBER SHOP, COLUMBUS, GA. Go to Ed Terrv’s, if yon want an easy share, and your hair cut by first-class bar bers nd in a first-class barb.-r shop. Loca ted under the Rankin House. fcp4 ly KA-ISTTCTISr PIOT7SE COLUMBUS, GA. J. Prop’r. RUBY RESTAURANT, Bar and Billiard Saloon, UNDER THE R ANKIN HOUSE, ianio J. W. RYAN. Prop’r. Read This Twice. The Pponle's cent 'in no continued stone*?. 8 p' > e , o. 48 columns of choice miacell*neons resins: matter every wfvk, to gether with articles from the pen* of such woP-known writers as Nashy, 01iv n ~ Optic. Pylvanis Cohh, Jr., Miss A'cofct, Will CarJ t)D, J. T. Trowbridge, Mark Twain, etc. Cf7~ I will send the People's Ledger fe any address every week for three months , on trial, on receipt of only 50 c. The People"? Ledger is an old established and reliable weekly paper, published every Saturday, and is very popular throughout the New England and Sliddl" states. Address HERMANN K. CURTIS. Publisher, dec2s-3m 12 School ft. Boston, Mass. Hamilton 181 Visitor. A FORTUNE? FOB 81! Ons Gift is gruarnntcpd to one of every eleven consecutive numbers, 850,000f0r ONE DOLLAR KQW IS YQtJB. VISES. Fortune helps those who help themselves. 500,000 Tickets , at $1 each , mim~ hered from 1 to 500,000, inclusive. The exceedingly low price of tickets brings it within the reach of all. ©'Hit Qmrsn In nid of Public Improvements in the city of Denison, Texas. THE THEDAS Gift Concert Association WILL GIVE A GRAND CONCERT WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, 1875. And will distribute to the Ticket-holders $250,000 IN GIFTS. DEPOSITORY, FIRST SIT. BASK, DENISON. Distribution to commence immediately after the Concert. Managers of (list r lmtion chosen hy Ticket-holders and prominent citizens. LIST OF gifts: 1 Grand Cash Gift $ 50 000 1 “ " “ 26,000 1 15.001) 1 10,000 1 6,000 1 .. 2,500 1 1,500 10 .. .. .. SSOO each.. 5 000 20 250 .... 5.000 ,30 150 .... 4,500 1 50 .. .... 100 .... 5 000 lOO 50 .... 5,000 100 25 .... 2.500 200 20 .... 4 000 500 •. 10 .... 5,000 1 000 5 .. .. 5 000 1.500 2t .. .. 3,750 40,250 1 . 40 250 49,767 G’and Cash GiR-am’nt’g to $200,000 22 prizes in real estate ain’t’ g to 50.000 49.789 Gifts, nmrinntiiur to $250 000 Please address us for circulars giving icf en rices and full particular*. A st dement of tic distribution will be pub lished and forwarded (otieUef-b il.'is. and all gift's promptly paid toter the dishibufion. fiffflO find RESPONSIBLE ITRSOSS WANTED ft. -f„ r thr- I"ipss Oft! I! ."• A-y. iclat i. HI . Liberal Commissions Allowed HOW TO REMIT TOTS. UFoupv should he sent hv Express or Draft, Po-- fiicc Money Order or Registered Letter. Address all com rrm'licit ti**r.s to ALPHEUS R. COLLINS, Sec’y oct23-td Denison, T< xas. Lf, o.\o A AL-rS'^ ESTABLISHED 15 TEARS. A STANDARD INSTITUTION, LARGEST, CHEAPEST AXP REST IN TIIE SOUTH. The only Business School in the South con ducted by an experienced Merchant ard Prac tical Accountant. The actual expenses of stud' nts are from fifteen to twenty per cent less than it will cost them to attend second class, or imported institutions. The Course of Study is con lucted on Actual Business Principles, supplied with Banking and other offices, combining every known facility for imparting a Thorough Practical Business Education in the shortest possible time and at tie least expense. Graduates of this in-titution, as practical accountants, stand pre-eminent over those from any other Busi ness School in the country. The established reputation of this Institu tion. the thorough, prarti al course of its study, and the success of its Graduates, ranks it the leading BUSINESS SCHOOL IN THE SOUTH. Our course of actual business training is the best and most practical of the age. No vacations. Students admitted at anv time. No classes Business Advocate, containing full particulars, mailed to any address. B. F. MOORE, A. M..^President. MOTHER’S MAGAZINE I? one of the oldest and be t monthlies for the family circle within onr knowledge It is ably conducted,and its paces well filled by talented and experienced writers.—f'hrotia.n Ot*server Si Commonwealth, Lourvide, Kv. It is a very useful and instructive maga zine. and should lie in the b nds of every mother.—Haverhill Gaz tte. Mass Terms, *1.60 a year, postage p dd. Care fully selcted*en era vines to snSwrihers, at tyrst. Send 'en cents tor specimen <v pv and terms. Address. Mother’s Mag ’z:ne. P. O. box 3157, New Tork. declS-St SPIFITF AI.ISM. Tire recent extraordinary atte-'tnn the subp-rt is attracting, and its investigation bv eminent soieroi-t*, increa-i s tire demaed for curtent literature devoted to the subject. Tn order that ail may become familiar with the most able, fearless and widely circnlatcd ex ponent of spiritnalism, we will send the Re philosophical Journal three months for thirty cents p .stage prepaid by ns after Jan. 1. 1875. The Journal is a large 8-page week ly paper, regular price per year—row in its nioth year. Address S.JS. Jones, Edi’-or, 180 E Adame ft, Chicago. doclß-?m HAMILTON, HARRIS CO., GA„ FRIDAY, MAY 7, 1875. From the Weslean World. WHAT ONE SHOT HID. BY AN OLD RANGER. “ This confinement is irksome to me. and I long for a tramp in the woods. Tom has just brought me word that the pheasants are beeoming plenty and in good condition, and if I can get leave of absence I think I’ll try my gun and dog. Poor Ponto! It’s little of life you’ve seen since we came to the Canadas,” and Captain Gerald began to walk the room impa tiently. “Now, Ponto,” he said as he whis tied his magnificent pointer to his side, “now, ejooil door, for a glorious time—for one day of freedom and a good supper.” With a low whine of acknowledg ment for the kindly patting of the hand of his master upon his head, and the playing with the silken ears, the dog dashed away. Evidently he en joyed the pure air and golden sun shine —the escape from the confine ment of the barracks as much as his master. And so did Tom—a north of Ire land man; farm he went along with abroad grin upon his honest face, lie whistled or sung, “A southerly win'! ami a cloudy sky, Proelaimcth a hunting morning.” “ An,’ hy the Ilill of Howth, this ia one of them,” he said, in conclusion, as Gerald called his attention to the various phenomena in the forest that was near to them. But tramp as they would, and hunt faithfully as the dog did, they met, with no success. If there was any frame in the woods, it must have been very shy, and for hour* they saw no thing upon which Gerald was willing (o try bis shill as a marksman. “ Where are the pheasants, Tom?” he a*!;ed of Hie discomforted man whose whistle and g,on<;' bad changed into sullen jrrowls. “ I thought von said the woods were filled with them. For all the Inch we have had, we might ns well have remained in the l arra •!<*.” "TT'liP,” answered (he man, while his fingers wore hiisv scratching, hi* head upon the spot where (he hump of ideality i* supposed to bn located. ‘’•Faith, sir, T think they have all changed into hares ! ” “I believe yon are right,” replied Gerald, with a laugh, “ and though I am fond of them, I’ve set niv heart upon taking home your mistress a supper of birds, and nothing else will do me to-day.” “An’, plase God, she shall have it, sir.” “Then you go around this hill one way, and I will-go the other one, hut if you hear me fire, come immediately to tno.” “ Yes, sir.’’ Gerald saw his servant disappear, urged on his dog and followed, grat ified at last by the sight of one of the birds he was longing to find. But it was evidently a stray and a wild on'*, and flew some ways; he crept along in order to obtain a shot, his dog hav ing dashed away. Staunch as he usually was. long; disuse had made him somewhat forgetful of his early training. Tn vain he whistled—in vain he called. The animal was either entirely out of hearing, or obstinately refused to obey. It was a ca*e of Mahomet and the mountain; there was nothing 1o he done lint to go to the dog, as the dog would not come to him, and he was doing it n= carefully as possi ble when the report of a gun readied his ears. “ Ah !” he murmured,“that must he Tom, and how lie will erow over me at having brought down the first game.” Another report, and he forgot, nl! of caution. If bis servant was firing so rapidly, he must he in a covey, and tie was losing the golden opportunity. Tie little thought that there might he others abroad in the woods as well as himself. Tint such was the cue. Three men—semi-outlaws, who had fled from “the States” to avoid the strong arm of the law there, and had already become obnoxious to that of the Queen’s Dominion were tramping n o tnd. ft was lit’le to them how or when they became possessed of game. They could sell it readily, and had they lived in other lands, would have been called (and rightly) the worst kind of poachers. And they had “marked down ” the bird that Gerald had al*o seen, and creeping near, had shot it without the slightest difficulty. That a< counted for the first report. The second wts of far more moment. When the pheasant fell lifeless to the ground 11 it-y rushed forward to secure it, but wore disputed in the possession of the prize. It bad already been secured by a n and e dog. He had it in his mouth, and was turning to take it hack lo~his master. “Some of the. nobs are out,” said one of the men, with an oath, “and they must hare heard our gun and will soon he down upon us. That dog will track —he’s a good one, I know—but, hr heaven he shan’t steal mv game. HeVtV’ and he whistled low and eiviviiiys.lv. The dog stormed, and. without re leasing his hold upon the bird,growled savagely. “ That’s war game, is it ? Well T known wav to quiet you,” and snatch ing a gun from the hand of one ofhis companions, he took point blank aim and fired. Tt was a cowardly shot—any man who injures knowingly a dnml> beast is a coward—but. it was almost in stantly fatal. The poor pointer drop ped the bird, whined mournfully, and struggled to crawl away. Tint lie could not get fir—his hunting days were nearly ended—lie would never hound with delight at Ihe call of his master, or track prairie or woodbind again. “Come,” said the- man who had been guilty of the hruto murder.— “Come, pick up Ihe bird and let’s he off. T almost wish T hadn't shot, the dog, for—” At that instant, Gerald appeared upon the scene. TTis faithful four footed friend crawled toward him— gave a low whine of recognition—at tempted lo lick his hand—looked up vs i tlt his blood-shot eyes and fell dead at hi* fee'. The men stood with loweiing brows awaiting his speech. “ ITo w camp ibis ? ” he a iked stern ly, glancing from one to the other There w:v* tm reply, and he combi ned : 4J \Y!lo shot mv iln-r a Answer toe. By heaven! T will know, and woe to him that did il.” “ T did,” was grow’ed hack. They were three to one. and what had they to fear? Besides, they hated an hon est nmn, as felons ever do. “ What did yon shoot, him for?” “We have as much right in the wood as he, or you either for that metier.” “And if yon have, did that give you a right, to shoot inv dog ? ” “TTe was stealing my game. lie tried to bite me wheel would have taken it, away, and—” “ You shot him, coward and Get* ahl sprang upon the man, struck hbn a full blow in the face and leveled him to the ground. With all the evil passions in his nature surging up arid ervieg aloud for revenge, Hip man sprang np again, but when he saw the calm and reso lute face of Gerald, he would have sneaked away, had not a heavy hand been Inid upoti hi* collar and detained him. “ You filing not eseanc thus. You po with me, anti shaft pay dearly for what you have done.” “ Let go your hold ! ” growled the ruffian, “Let rro, I sav ! ” “Noll, Tom! Tom!” “Down with him!” shouted the companions of the imprisoned man. “ ITc has friends near. We shall all he taken.” Without striving to break the iron grip from h'fi.t’‘roat, the, man turned the pun he fiti’l held, upon Gerald, and fired. With a groan, one of mor tal anguish, he reeled against; a tree, lint lie was a soldier—had passed through more than one battle-field, and was not to perish unavenged. ITe too was armed —and wounded, ldeeding as he was, he turned his weapon npon the men who were flee ing, now that, their bloody work was consummated —fleeing like Cain from the swift vengeance that would fol low'. . But the career of one, the murderer, was suddenly brought to an end.— With the report he feM headlong, with !is heart riddled by the shot. Fell, even in death remaining true to his nature —cursing Grd and urn with his latest breath. Fell, and passed swiftly from tin and e rtb to judg ment —unrepenting, unabsolved. But scarcely had he fallen before lie was picked up by his affrighted companions, and carried away, pass ing scarcely from sight as the servant of Gerald rushed up, accompanied by the owner of the property, and an old game-keeper. “Oh, God ! rny master,” said poor Tom, as ho thing his gun a-i 10, knelt down and raised the head of the dy ing man in his arms. “My master! My poor master! Who has done this?” “lie shot my dog—me—oh, God ! my poor wife,” came faintly breathed through foam and blood. “Ho! who?” demanded the gen tleman. The stow was—had to be briefly told, and then with clinched hands he vowed vengeance, asked if Gerald had anv dving word to pend to those he loved, id nrrtfhNod faithfully to remember and hear them. “Mv wife—tel! her—that—oh! mer ciful God, nit v, and—and—” TTe fell hack dead—he who had passed unscathed through the dan gers of the Crimea. Ah! with snd hearts and tearful eyes thev lifted the limp form of the soldier, framed a rode litter, and car ried him hack to fhe home he had 'eft hut. a few hours before, in all the pride and strength of perfect health and manhood. Sad, sad indeed! Hut who should break the inte'ligenee to liis young wife! Every one shrank from it, as well thev might. Hut fate—terrible fatalit v, relieved them of the necessity of so doing. Even ns they wore carrying 'lie dead body Ihmuph (he parade ground, she knew the uniform—rushed to his side—gave one look at the pale and blond-stained face, and with a heart trending erv, f”ll backwards, and was carried away insensible. Of her husband’s death and burial, she never knew anything again. A harmless lunatic, she rat over at the window, from which she had seen 1 iin depart, o", protected bv tVm nearly heart-broken Tom, wandered in search nfh’ni. Perhaps it, was the kindness of God, that mad” and kept Imr so, tha* robbed her of all power to feel her misery. Bill tlm watch of the faithful servant was not for many rears. The third autumn after, she passed away with the falling of the leaves, and was buried hy the side of her husband, to be reunited to him (who shall say it, was not so?)forever and ever. Curious Natural Facts. Fishes swallow their food whole. They have no dental machinery fur nished them. Frogs, toads and serpents never lake anv food bnt that which they are satisfied is alive. Who’n a bee, wasp >r hornet stings, it is nearly always at the expense of i’s life. Serpents are so tenacious of life that thev will live six months and lom'or wiihoTit food. Tu riles dig holes in the sea. shore and bnrv their eggs, covering them nn to be hatched bv the sun. Lobsters are very pmrnaeions, and fiirlit severe battles. Tf they lose a claw nno'ber grows out. Natmali-Is sav that a single swal low will devour *ix thousand flies in a day. The tarantula, of Braz’l, is nothing more nor less than an enormous spi der. A single cod-fish produces more than a million eggs in a sensor,. Toad* become torpid in winter, and hide themselves, taking no food for fve or six months. Serpent* of ail specie* shed their skin* a* nuallv, like sea crab* and lob ster*. Turtle* and tor<oi*ee have their skeleton* partly outside, in place of within their bodie*. It is believed that erocodi'e* live to be hundred* of year* old. The Egyp tian* embalmed them. In South America there is a prolific honey-bee. which ha* not been fur ni*hed with a *ting. In the darkest night, fihc* pursue their u*ual movements the seme as by daylight. Seals arc as intelligent as dog*, and can be trained to perform many tricks like them. If the eve of a newt is put out, nn o her perfect, one is soon supplied by rapid growth. Alligators fall into a lethargic s’ccp during the winter sea*on like the toai. The power of serpents to charm birds and small quadrupeds is a well; authenticated fact. There are agricultural ants in Texas that actually plant grain, and reap and *tore the harvest. Fishes Lave no eyelids. Tho Heroic Deliverer. Many years ago ,a large East Indi aman was on its way to ike shores of England, having on hoard a hyena of the most ferocious kind. This ani mal is known to he savage and un governable iu its nature, and seldom, if ever, susceptible of kind or grateful feelings, even to those who have ten ded anil fed it for years. The one of which I am about to speak had just been caught in one of his wild retrea s on the const of Africa, where the ves sel had stopped for a few days. He was of course untamed and fierce; and so terrib'e and malignant in his disposition, that but one man in the whole ship’s company could he in duced, by the offer of n large reward, to trust himself so near his cage as to throw him his stated allowance of food. Thick and strong as were the bars ofhis prison, they seemed but a feeble security against, his fearful ex hibitions of rage and malice; and it was impossible to pass near him with out shuddering at, tho idea of being within reach of that savage and unre lenting grasp. Several weeks had passed, and he had never given the loast sign of rec ognition to his keeper. Tn order to soften the impurity of Ids temper, the experiment, ha l been made to with hold him from anitnel food. But in vain; lie seemed as ferocious and un manageable ns ever; and that peculiar cry, beginning like the mourning of the human voice, then ending in a wild and hideous bellowing, wns in itself sufficient to strike terror to the hearts of nil who hoard it, and ro dis courage every attempt to tame and conciliate him. One (lay the throng of passengers and seamen were crowding the decks, watchingwith deep anxiety the threat ening appearance of one of those storms which, in warm latitudes, are often so terrible snd devastating; re quiring great, skill and experience in the management of the ship, both be fore an 1 during the continuance of the hurricane. Foreboding anil fear were depicted on every face; and as the captain is sued his promptly obeyed orders, the expression of his countenance was studied, ns if in his glance was to lie read a sentence of death or deliv erance. A solemn silence reigned among that, ship’s largo company, broken only by the sound of the mighr.v waves, ns they dashed- and foamed against, the vessel’s side®’ It was interrupted by a sound yet.lrioro knell-like and appalling—the clanking sound of a broken chain, and the lib erated hyena’s wildest and fiercest cry! Tlow he had escaped from his cage it was then no time to inquiro; but the dreadful reality was before them; and there the savage animal stood, free to eive vent to Ins terrible and malignant, propensities. Tie advanced one or two steps! and the wild and sullen glare of those eyes—that fear ful and hideous ry—who could wil lingly and unshrinkingly encounter Tt, was the momentary impulse of na ture to flv from such a foe, and in an in*tarit the decks were cleaned, and all had retreated below. Scarcely had ihe consciousness of escape and safety from their pursuer pervaded the minds of the fugitives, when tlie peculiar horrors of their situation were presented strongly to their consideration. What was to he done? What couhl he done? The captain first proposed himself to go on deck; the vessel must be irrevoca bly h,st in the impending storm with out prompt, and active management. Of wi at, avail would he hi* skill and guidance, alone anil unassisted? A dozen hands were not enough to p rfbrm all the service* required. Besides, their implacable enemy wa* waiting for hi* prey, and an encoun ter with him was certain death. There was no aperture or loop hole through which they might watch his movements, and venture to attack him; nn 1 their determination how to act must be formed from co; jectnre alone. To remain below was certain and tdow destruction to all. If one hold and adventurous spirit, cold, by ♦bn exposure and perhaps sacrifice of himself, venture to meet, and, if pos. sible, overcome that ruthlea foe, the lives of many wouh) be preserved. IV hat a question to propore and ag itate! Bih-nce alone answe ed that fearful, and, as it were, desperate proposal. It seemed as if, singly, no one dared to venture. After a pause of some length, dur ing which agony and despair sat upon ; every countenance, one individual $2.00 A YEAR. came forward. He was listened to with breat dess attention. It was be who had statedly fed and tended the savage animal. He stated that though he had not the slightest reason to be* lieve that the hyena distinguished him from, or preferred him to any one else, yet, in so terrible an emergency, he had prayed for guidance and assist ance, and he had been encouraged to hope that an unthought-of weapon might possibly disarm and conciliate him. He had not tasted raw flesh for sever il weeks, and if it were of fered to him now, perhaps his vorac ily might be turned to this new ob ieel of appetite. If a piece of meat c iu!d be procured, he was to go on deck, and with it tempt tho animal back to his cage. It is needless to say how bis pro posal was received, and with what thrilling emotions of anxiety, hope and fair he was seen to nsoend alone and defenseless to the deck. He to whom ho had looked for guidance and protection, forsook not that heroio trusting heart with courage, and nerv ed that single arm with power to 1 e tho humble instrument in effecting the delivoranco of those who sought not Divine direction. When lie reached the deck, the an imal was at he extremity of the shits and was almost immediately attracted by tho scent of the raw meat. The intrepid mar rotrated swiftly to iho cage, holding out the tempting bait, and then throwing it within the den, the hyena, who had followed in close pursuit, dartsd in, seised it voraoiousiy and was thus effectually secured. Tho feelings of joy and gratitude of the prisonem when liberated by their heroio deliverer, may be bettor im agined than described; and it is to b > hoped that this humble agent in their proservatian was the means of im pressing upon their hearts a firm be lief and trust; in a superintending at and. merciful Proviilenoe. The vessel rode out ti e threatened gale in safety, and long : fter it had reached its destined port and its company had dispersed to their several homes, did the re membrance of that brave and daring man call forth feelings of warm at and lasting gratitude. WIT and HUMOR. What animals are often seen at fu nerals ? Black kids. Self-made men are very apt to worship their maker. Time is money, and many people pay their debts with it. A depraved punster says he shall smoke if he chews too. Retiring early at night will surely shorten a man’s day’s. When a man bows to circumstances he is forced to be polite. MnrUu-top tables are unhealthy, according to the Herald of Health, but does not state their disease. A boy who will yell like a tartar if a drop of water gets on his shirt band when his neck is being washed, can crawl through a sewer after a ball and.think nothing of it. A Dubuque wife cooked the family cat for her husband’s supper and that unfortunate man has since been una ble to resist a desire to sit. on the back-yard fence and yowl. A good rhinoceros costa 15,800, and unless there is a great decline in the market most of us must be satis fied with a five dollar parlor mat, having a colored tiger stamped on it. “No eetin appuls in schnle ours,” reads a f-ign on the blackboard of a schoolhouse m enlightened old Mas sachusetts, where education is sup posed to sit on the top rail and make faces at ignorance. The home circle—walking with the baby at hight. The great nnknon-~.*heee who da not advertise. A close observer says that tha words which ladies are fondest of are the first and last words. The spelling schools that are spread*, mg all over Ohio are raid to have demonstrated the fact that a woman c:m spell five times better than a ma t. “ I wish 1 was a pudding, mamma ! > “Why?” M*Cau#e I should have such lots of sugar put into roe,” A bright boy iwcmtly told his teacher there were sectsi The male sect, the female sect, and insects. In 171? an edition of the Bible, known aa “the Vinegar Bibl©’’was printed. It wu sc called from an error in the : oth chapter of St. Luk , in which “Farabk of the Vineyard ■was printed “L*#rable of the Vinegar, ’