Hamilton visitor. (Hamilton, Harris Co., Ga.) 1874-1875, May 14, 1875, Image 1

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VOL III.—NO. 19. £|c Hamilton Visitor D. \V. '). BOULLT, Proprietor. CASH SUBSCRIPTION BATES. Ohc copy mle vSar ?- M tine capv nix months 1 96 One copy three months 75 Any one fnrmshiofr five subscribers, with tiie money, will.rt’ceive a copy free Subscribers wi-hina their papers changed from one po t office to anotiitif, ran i state the none of the post otiiee froiii wha-h tliev wish i(, cHmaed, as well ns that to which the* wish it sent. Ail subcrinti ins must he pari in advance The paper will be stopped at the end of the time paid for. unless subsciipti: ns are pre vion It renewed. Fifty numbers complete the year. CASH ADVERTISING RATES. Kp.vcr. 1 mo 3 mos 6 mos 1 - ".us 1 inch T!7 slTiio STT'O Flfoc- sT6~ob 2 inches .. 450 725 n l Of IS 00 3 inches.. 500 900 15 00 22 00 4 inches .. 550 11 00 IS 00 27 00 1 column.. fi 50 i4 00 >OO 35 00 A column.. 12 50 2-> 00 40 00 00 00 ] column,, 22 00 41 00 02 06 100 00 Marriarres and deaths not exceeding six lines will be published free. Payments to be made quarterly in advance, nccordiny to schedule rates, unless otherwise agreed upon. . Persons sending advertisements, will bib the length of time they wish them published and tli* space then- want them to occupy Prrties a !ve'-ti iinr by contract will be re stricted to their legitimate business. IjSOAI, At>VKUTISEMF.\T9. Sheriffs sales, per inch, foul weiSks.. .S3 50 “ mortgage fi fa sales, per inch, eight weeks 5 GO Citation for letters of administration, sm irdianship, etc., thirty days S 00 Notice to debtors and creditors of an estate, fnrtv days o 00 Application for leave to sell land, four weeks 00 Sales of land, etc . per ill li. forty days 5 00 “ “ perishable property, per inch. ten davs 2 00 Application for letters of dismission from Guardianship, forty days 5 00 Application for letters of dismission from administration, three lrtmtlls i 00 Establishing lost papers, the full space of three months, per inch 7 00 Comnedling titles from executors or ad ministrators -vliere bond has been given bv the deceased, tile full space of three mouths, per inch 7 00 Es rav notices, thirty days 3 00 Rii e for foreclosure of mortgage, four months, monthly, per inch.,., 0 00 Pale of insolvent papers, thirty days.. . 3 00 Homestead, two weeks 2 00 cCIISiaIOSS OfSX'CILSs TIIQS S. MITCHELL, M A>-, Resident Physician ami Surgeon, HAMILTON GEORGIA Special attention given to "Operative sur* gerv and treatment of chronic diseases. Zftr- Terms Cash -tSSt T‘ ) PHESTON GIBUS, S SURGEOiV and PHYSICIAN. Hamilton, Ga. Will he found al the hotel or the Store of W H John-ton unless professionally engaged (JIIATT AHO 0 011 EE HO USE, Bv J- T. HIGGLNBOTIIE3I. WEST POINT, GA ALONZO A. DOZIER, Attorney and Counselor at Law, COLUMBUS, GA. Practices in State and Federal Courts in Onorgia and Ald'ama. Office over C. A. lie M & Co’s, 126 Broad pt. dcc4-Cmi XA ND Y ALEXANDER'S BARBER SHOP, OfiLETIIORPE STRfiEf, COLUMBUS, G.t. Give nte a c>ll when j’ou come to town, an i 1 wi'l do my best to please. decli-Pm M;inos Dozier, ATTORNEY-AT law, HAMILTON, GEORGIA Will practice in (lie Chattahoochee Circuit, or Hnwvhere else. Office in the corner of the Court-house, drs. j tnß ED. TERR I ’S' BA 11 BE R SHOP, COLUMBUS, GA. Cro to Ed Terrv’s, if you want an e-*y share, an<i your hair out hy fivst-cIaFS har l>er and in a fitst-cliis< Imrhcr shop. Loca te i un hr the Rankin House. pep 4 ly RANKIN HOUSE COLUMBUS, GA. J. AY. RYAN, Prop’r. RUBY RESTAURANT, Bar and Biiliard Saloon, UNDER THU R ANKIN HOUSE. janlO J. W. RYAfr, PrOp'B. Read This Twice. The People's Ledger contains no continu 'd stories. 8 large p ns, 48 columns of choice miscellaneous raiding matter every week, to gether with articles from tlie pen- of such well-known writers ash Ta-by, Oliver Optic, Svlvanus Gobi , -fr., M iss A'cott, Will Cur.- t',i), J. T Trowbridge, Mark Twain, etc. (Ur I trill send the People's Ledger fi any address every week for three months , on trial , on receipt of only 50 c. The People’s Ledger is an oM established and reliable weekly paper, published every Saturdav, and is ver r popular throughout toe New England and Middle States. Address HERMANN K. CURTIS, Publisher, dceiV.'lin 12 School at. Boston. 11a*. Hamilton BBi Visitor. A FOKTUHE FOR $1! Oh 3 Gift is guaranteed to one of every eleven consecutive niimbers. $50,000 for ONE.DOLLAR KQ\T XS YOUR TIME. , Fortilne helps those who help themselves. 500,000 Tickets, at $ 1 each, num bered from 1 to 500,000, inclusive. The exceedingly low price of tickets brings it Within the reach of all. In aid of Public Improvements in the city of Denison, Texas. THL3 TEXAS Gift Concert Association WILL GIVtJ A GRAND CONCERT WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, 1875. And will distribute to the Ticket-holders $250,000 IN GIFTS* DEPOSITORY, FIRST MT. BASK, DENISON. l)lstiihutioii tocommenceimihedi .tcly after the Gcncert. Managers of distr bution chosen by Ticket-holders and prominent citizens. LTST OF gifts: 1 Grand Cash Gift .$ 50.000 1 “ “ “ 25.0(H) 1 15.000 1 10,000 1 6,000 1 2.500 1 1,500 10 S6OO each.. 5.000 20 250 .. .. 5.000 30 150 .. .. 4.500 go mo .. .. 5 nno 100 60 .. .. 6.000 100 25 .. .. 2.600 200 20 .. .. 4.000 500 10 .. .. 6.000 1.000 5 .. .. 5 000 1.500 21 .. .. 3,750 46,250 1' .. .. 46 250 49,767 Grand Casli GiT-V.m'nfg-to $200,000 22 prizes in real estate am’t’g to 50,000 49,789 Gifts, amounting to. . $250,000 Please address us for circulars giving ref erences and full particulars. A st itement of the distribution will be pub lished and forwarded to ticket-holders, and all gifts promptly paid a f tei the dist ibutien. GOOD and RESPONSIBLE PERSONS. WANTED to work for the interests of tiiis Association. Libb&al CbMlsStbxs Aj.lov ; a IIOW TO REMIT l'O US.. • Money should lie sent by Fxpre-s or Draft, Post-office Money Order or Registered Letter. Addrcsi all communications to ALPHEUS E. COLLINS, Sec’y, oct.?B'td Denison, Texas. ;Y ESTABLISHED 15 YEARS. A STANDARD INSTITUTION. LARGEST, CHEAPEST AS BEST IN THE SOttit. Tlie onlv Business School in die South con ducted by an experienced Merchant and Prac tical Accountant.. Hie actual expenr.es of students are from fifteen to tweiiU percent less than it will cost them to atttihd second elfins, or imported institutions. The Course of Study is conducted on Actual Business Principles, supplied with Banking and other offices, combining every known facility for imparting a Thorough Practical Business Education in the shortest possible time and at tie least expense. Graduates of this institution, as practical accountants. “bind pre-eminent over those from any other Busi ness School in the country. The established reputation of this Institu tion, the thorough, practical course of i.'s study, and the success of it* Graduates, rank* it the leading BUSINESS SCHOOL IN TIIE SOUTH. Our course of actt-ai. business training is die best and most pYactieal of die age. No vacation’s. Students admitted at any time. No classes. Business Advocate, containing full puiliculars, mailed to any address. B. F. MOORE, A. M., President. MOTHER’S MAGAZINE Is one of the oldest mid 1 (st monthlies for the family circle within our knowledge It is alilv conducted,and its pages well filled by talented and experienced writers,—UliriSlirra Observer & CommonwcaHh. Louisville, h'y. It is a r erv useful and instructive maga zine, and should 1* in the hands of every mother. —Haverhill Gazette, Mass Terras, SI.OO a year, postage paid. Care fully set- c*ed engravings to subscribers, at cost. Send ten cents for specimen fin/,v and terms. Address. Mother's Magass'rP. 0. box 3157, New York. deed B-81 SPIHITUAUSAL Tlie recent extfnordiparv aifentiori the subject is attracting, and its investigation by eminent scientists, increases the demand for cii-i ent literature devoted to the anly-ct. In order that all mar become familiar with the most able, fearless and widely circulated ex ponent of spiritualism, we will send the Re ligio-Philosophical Journal three months for thirty cents, postage prepaid by ns after Jan. 1. 1875. Tlie Journal is a large 8-page week ly paper, regular price $3 per year now in t -g ninth vear. Address 8. S. Jo .<*, Editor. ;ap E Adame sf, Chicago. declß-2m HAMILTON. HARRIS CO., GA„ FRIDAY, MAY 14, 1875. THE GOLD SOVEREIGN. The story of the gold sovereign, re lated to me by Judge X , a gen tleman of wealth and influence in western New York, is well w rlh re penting—not for artificial interest, which it does not contain—but for the admirable lesson it conveys to young persons, about commencing life. I regret I am nubble to produce the spirit and humor, with which the inimitable judge graced bis simple story; but I will do my best to re member his own words. When I was only eight years old, raid Judge N , my father and my mother being poor, with half a dozen children better than myself to take care of, T was given to a farmer in the town of F-, who designed making a plow-boy of me, and keeping me in his service until 1 was of age. Well, I had not a very g;ty time in Deacon Webb's service: for although lie was an honest deacon, and a tol erably kind man in his family, ho be lieved in making boys work, end un derstood how to avoid spoil!.ig them by over indulgence. So I had plenty of work to do, and an abundant lack of indulgence to en joy. It was consequently a great treat for me to get the enormous sum j of cue or two pennies into my pos session by any sort ofgood fortune— a circumstance of such rare occur rence, that at the age of eleven I had learned to regard money as a blessing bestowed by a kind Providence only on a favored few. Well, I had lived with Deacon Webb three years before I knew the color of any coin except vile copper. By an accident I learned the color of gold. This is the story I am going to tell you. One Saturday night Mr. "Webb sent me to the village store on some er rand ; and on returning home, just about dusk, my attention was at tracted by a little brown package ly ing on the roadside. I picked it tip to examine its con tents, w ithout the least suspicion of the treasure within. Indeed, it was so light, and the volume of brown paper appeared so large, that I undoubt edly suspected that I was the victim of an April fool, although it was in the month of June. I tore open the folds of tlio paper, however; and dis cerning nothing, I was just on the point of throwing it. into the ditch, when something dropped out of it and fell with a ringing sound upon a stone. I looked at it in astonishment. It was yellow, round, glittering —too small and bright for a penny. I felt of it, I squeezed it in my fingers, spelt out the inscription; then something whispered to me that it was a gold coin of incalculable value, and that if I did not wish to lose it, I had Letter pocket it as soon as possible. Trembling with excitement I put the coin in my pocket. But it would not. stay there. Every two minutes I had to take it out and look al it. Brit whenever I titc-1 anybody I was careful to put it out of sight. Somehow, I felt a guilty dread of finding an owner to the coin. Provided I found none, I thought it was honestly mine, by right, of di-coverv; and I comforted myseif with the sophistry that rt was not my business to go about the strC't crying, “ Who’s lost? ” \ went home with the gold in my pocket. I would not have had the deacon’s folks know what I had found for the world. I was sorely troubled with the fear of losing my vast and incalculable treasure. This was not all. It seemed to me that my face must betray my secret. I could m t look at anybody with an honest eye. These troubles kept me awake half the night, and projects for securing my treasure hy a safe investment, the other half. On the following morn ing I was feverish and nervous, when Deacon Webb, at the bfeakfaSt-table,* said,- “ William f ” I started and trembled, thinking the next words would be— “ Where is that piece cf gold yon found, and wickedly concealed to keep it {■■Sm the rightful owner?” But he only said, “ I want you to go to Mr. Bald wii A this morningj-and ask him if lie can come to work for me to-morrow.” I felt immensely relieved. I left the house and got out of sight as soon as possible. Then once more I took the coin out of iny pocket, and feasted on its beauty. Yet I was un happy. Consciousness of wrong trou bled me, and I almost wished I had not found the sovereign. NVould I not be ea’led a thief, if discovered? I asked myself. Was it not its wrong to conceal what I had found, as to take the same amount from the own er’s pocket?—was he not defrauded the same ? Bat then I said to myself— Why, if I don’t know who the loser is, how can I give him his money ? It is only because 1 am nfra : d Deacon Webb wid take it away from me that I conceal it; that’s all. I would not steal gold; and if the loser should ask me for it, 1 would give it to him. I p ilog'ze 1 thus to myself all the way to Mr. Baldwin’s house, hut after all, it wouldn’t do. The gold was like a heavy stone bound to my heart. It was a sort of unhappy charm, which gave an evil spirit, power to torment me. And I could not help thinking that I was not half so Well pleased with my immense riches as I had been with a rusty copper which I had found some weeks before. Nobody claimed tie penny, although 1 kept my good fortune no secret; and I had been at happy as a king, or as a king is commonly supposed to be. Mr. Baldwin was not at home, and I returned to the deacon’s house. I siw Mr. Wardley’s horse standing at. the gate, and I was terribly frighten ed. Mr. Wardley was a constable, and I thought he had come to take me to jail. Sol hid in the garden until he went away. By that time reason began to prevail over coward ice, and 1 made my appearance at the house. The deacon looked angrily at me. Now, thought- TANARUS, feeling faint, he is going to accuse me of finding the gold. But he only scolded me for being so long about iny errand. I never received a reprimand so willingly. His severe words sounded sweet, I had expected something so much more terrible. I worked al! day With the gold in my j Ockct. 1 wonder Deacon Webb j did not suspect something, I stopped' so often to see if the gold was really there; for much its the possession of it (Cobbled me, the fear of losing it troubled me scarcely less. I was miserable. I wished a hundred times I had not found the gold. I Lit that it would he a relief to lay it down by the side of the road. Again I wrapped it in brown paper just as I had found it. I wondered if ill-gotion wealth made everybody so miserable. At tiight L Was rent again to Mr. Baldwin’s; and having found him, obtained Ids promise to work at Dea con Webb’s on the following day. It was dark wlu-n I went home, anti Iw as afraid of robbers. I never felt so cowardly in my life. It, seemed tome that anybody could rob ine with a clear conscience, because iny treas ure was not mine. I got home and went trembling to bed. Mr. Baldwin Came Carly to break fast with Us; I should tell you some thing about him. 110 was an honest poor man, who supported a largo family by hard woik. Everybody liked him, he was so industrious and faithful, and besides making good wages by bis labor, ho often got pros' outs of meal and flour from thoSc who employed him. Well, at the breakfast table, after Deacon Webb had asked a blessing, and g'Ven Baldwin a piece of pork, so that he might eat and grf to work as soon ns possible, Something was said about the “news.” “ I suppose you have heard about my misfortune,” said Mr. Baldwin; “ Your misfortune ? ” “Yes.” “Why, what has happened to you?” asked the deacon. “ I thought everybody had heard of it.” replied Baldwin. “Youeee, the other night, when Mr. Woolly paid tne, he gsvC tne ft goVl piece.’’ I StftriCd, nnd felt the blood for sake mV cheeks. All eyes w ere fixed upon Baldwin/ hoWeVtT, so my trou ble was hot observed. “ A sovereign,” said Baldwin; “(ho fir.it one I ever had in my life ; and it seemed to no that if I should put it in my pocket like a cent or half a dol in', I should lose it. ffo, like a goose, I wrapped it up in a piece of paper, a id slowed it away in my coat pocket where I bought it was sure to lie safe. I never did a more fo>d,.sh thing. 1 must have lost the coin in taking out rny handkerchief, and the paper would prevent its making any aoise as it fell. I discovered iny loss when I got homo, and went back to look for it; but somebody must have picked it up,” “ Who uonhl be so dishonest ns to keep it?” asked the deacon. I felt like sinking through ihe "Door. “I don’t know,” replied the poor man, shaking his head sadly; “lie’s welcome to it, whoever lie he is; and I hope Ids conscience won’t trouble him more than the money is worth; though he knows I want all my hon est earnings.” This was too much for me. The allusion to my conscience brought the gold out of my pocket. I instantly resolved to make a clean breast of it, and to be honest in spite of poverty and shame. So I held tlio gold in my trembling hand, and said: “Is this yours, Mr. Baldwin?” My voice whs so faint that he did not hear me. So I repeated my ques tion in a more courageous tone. All eves were turned upon me In aston ishment, and the deacon demanded where and when T found the gold. I burst into tears, and confessed everything. I expected ihe deneon would whip tne to death. Bat he patted my head, and said more kindly than was his wont: “ Don’t cry about it William. You are an honest hoy, if you did come near falling into temptation. Always bo honest my son ; arid if you do not grow rich, you will lie happy wdtll a clear Conscience ” But I cried still—for joy. I laughed 100, the deacon had so t.ouhed my heart. Of what a load was I relieved! I felt then that honesty was the hast policy. Baidu in declared that I should have half the money for finding it; but I wished to keep clear of the trouble* some stuff for a time, and I did—l would not toue.li his offer, and never regretted it, hov as I was. Well, T was the deacon’s favorite after this. He was very kind to me, and trusted me in everything. I was careful not to deceive him ; t pre served the strictest candor and good faith; find that has made mo wlmt I am. When he died, he willed five hundred dollars, with which I came here and bought new lands, which are now worth a great many sovereigns. But this has nothing to do wif.h iny story. That is told ; and all I have to add is, I have never regretted clearing my conscience of Job Bald win’s sovoreign. Tttii Door io lake a Newspaper. An anecdote is told of a funner go ing one day to the offieo of a Now York journal and ordering his paper slopped, liccaiG lie was too poor to take it any lorigch “ Suppose we niakc a bargain,” said the editor, “in this way. Go homo and select, a hen that shall be called rny hen ; sell the eggs that the hen lays during the ycat, and send the pro ceeds to mo as your subscription fof IM pnjitrf The farmer was pleased at so easy a way to pay for his paper, and read ily consented. The result was, that during the year, ihe heft paid for tiie paper twice its regular price of sub scription. This is by tfo rabrtnft a (hire fiction, for fiie same may he true in a great I multitude of cases. Almost every one wastes and* throws away more than enough money during the ye:!r to get a Weckty; or itaify newspaper that W'b'nld furnish him with intellec tual food, arid keep him posted in the busy, rtirring events of the day. A very small retrenchment in tiie luxu* tics that almost every one indulges in would SeCUre a Weekly •visitor, full of gossip about the doings of the great tVorld around us; full of stirring events in the history that is every day being made in bur own country and full of useful information, and fact !in literature, science and art. Be- I sides, it is {life duty of the people to ! support the press, for it has always | stood as a grand bulwark between thCtft and political and military op pression ; it lias sounded the notes of i warning that have often aroused thorn ito action; it has stripped the bor rowed cloak from corruption and ve nality in high places, and showed them in all their deformity, and is to day the great friend of education, justice, religion aid peace. Tiie press speaks everywhere, at all times, carrying light in places where other-** wise perpetual daikness would reign. And when we remember tiie good qualities of the press let no one agaiu ray he is too poor to subscribe for a | good, moral, and interesting family l newspaper. Boys, Improve Your Time. Valley Plains, Ga., May 8, 1875. En. Visitor—As we look around us, we see many young people, buoy ant with life and spirit; and you, i* rents ought to encourage them, and impress upon their minds the neces sity and importance of cultivating their reasoning powers and faculties, for “enlightened minds and virtuous manners 1 the gates of glory,” “ Intelligent# the life of liberty.” Boys, your future welfare depends to a great extent upon your educa tion. Education cannot gain everything, but nevertheless, can gain much. Educate yourselves religiously and morally, as well as mentally, and then you will have that within you which will keep you erect, and enable you to move onward in your course. Then you will be a crown of glory and honor to your parents in their old age. Now is your golden age—full of spirit, and high in hope. Now you have no weariness to clog yodr wak ing hours, and no care to disturb your repose. ’Tjis the morning ofllfe, ns no clouds of misfortune have cast their dark shadows across your path. “ O youth! for years so many and sweet, Tis known that thou and I were one, I’ll think it but n fond concert — It cannot that thott art gone ” Boys, do yon ever think that these gohltm opportunities will soon be past, ahd yon will bo standing on the ves tibule of eternity ? Yes, they will soon be past, for you let your years slip through your fingers like water. Of yottng and old alike this is too Often true. The time will eomo my young friends, when you will mourn the loss of misspent bout’s, and these neglects ed opportunities, forever past. Con science will thunder iff yom* ear, ye knew your duty, but ye did it not. Then let cadi moment be so im proved, that it will bear np to licaven on golden wings, tlio record of some good deed done. If you would bo wise you must not longer postpone this important mat ter, but beed the warnings of eneb mofttetit as h liabtens by, and speaks in thunder tones, hew are I it will soon he too late. The voice of duty is over present to remind you of the ritifigh'tiohs you owe If) yoilr Hod, your fellow-beings and yourself; ad monishing you of the dangers that lie concealed in the beaten path of {fro crastination. Those who walk that path, trample beneath their feet into eternal oblivion, every golden oppor tunity that unfolds its riches to them 1 . Ask yourselves if you fire travel ing that pathway. If you discover then that you arc; why right-about face, and wave the baifriCt 9f truth; and iffijiMovement above your heads; and not neglect, idleness, nnd prodi gality. Place not your affections upon upon worfilfj* lusts and pleasures; for foes of the young will bind you with chains of steel, and lead you on with astonfshittcj rapidity to dis tress, anguish, and poverty,and what remains of your worthless, miserable existence, will be tantalifcd with the: memory of these golden opportuni ties forever lost. Your cherished hopes will be but phantoms that will laugh at your misfortunes, and Apeak with sneering Voices—it was i/ott that placed ns here, and i/riil will v;d follow to you? eternal destiny; Boys, hf) you. wont you realizce the f ict, that you are hastening on through the narrow limits of time to the broad aretia of eternity ? Will you not pause one moment, to contemplate what you arc, and whither you are going? Answer these questions for yourselves. Words are but empty air—deeds disclose the fountain of the heart*— and you must bo watchful of your selves, lest in an utfgUafdcd moment, you give vice and its allurements the ascendehcvi Early habits of vice throw almost insnrnioutable barriers across the road to true manhood, adding fuel to the lire of conscience, that now but a spark, will strengthen/and wrap their fiery tongues around your withering hearts, blighting every hope cf future happifiMSs, and thundering in your ears—too late! too latp! The gentle influences of kind and loving parents will he utteily unavailing. You will drift down the channel of tuin, until your barque is dashed to pieces on the rocks of dark despair; and your $2.00 A YEAR. terror-strioken souls are hurled 1 I their eternal dwelling place atnou I ihe fiends of hell. | But let the curtain drop, and tl I scene be changed. Henceforth, ava 17 yourselves of every opportunity tb* | presents itself to yon. Let your aii fj lie fixed on some lofty object. Pre W pare yourselves for'the conflet. Art p yourselves with truth, industry, enelyij gy, and perseverance. Fold arount 1 you the mantle of a resolute will, fi Thus armed and equipped, repair a tj once to the field of notion; and shouft | you begin to faint and filter, duty! will remind energy of its high cajl-ti ings, and perseverance will gent!) repeat its name. Then when tht struggle is over, and vice and its al luiementM, your worst foes, ai’e ban ished, you can mareh steadily on t< the object for which yon have been striving. The prize gained, you can plant your banner on fames proud pinnacle as a beckon to those who are following the road to knowledge. This done, you have accomplished your object. When death shall summons yon to the tomb, you can respond with th peaceful consciouness of a well-spent life, and indulge the humble, bnt en courageous, and unfaltering hope, of reaping a rich reward. M. WIT and HUMOR. A t is a little letter, bnt its omi-- sion sometimes makes mischief. For example, a newspaper says: “It was a practice of ottr immoral Washing ton never to allow profanity in his presence.” An town paper tells of a smart wife, who helped her husband raise seventy acres of wheat. The way she helped him was to stand in the door and shake a broom at him when he sat down to rest. “ Does the Lord love a man who spends at a church festival the money he owes his washerwoman?” is a question asked by a Pennsylvania pa per, He blushed fiefy red, her heart went pit-a-pfit; she gently hung her head, and looked down at hike mat. He trembled in his speech; he ro- • from where he sat, and shouted with a screech, “You’re sitting on my hat l’ r A negro woman was relating her experience to a gaping congregation of color, and among other things she said she had fiofctt ifi heaven. One of the ladies of color asked her, “ Sister, did you see any black folks up in heaven ? ” “ Oh, get out 1 you s’pose t go In do kitchefl when I was dar ? ” A country youth, who desired to know how to become rich, sent a qaiarte? in' atlswer to an advertise ment, and reeeived the following v 1— liable recipe: “ Increase your receipts and decrense your expenditures. Work eighteen hours a day, and live on flash and ftartrfietfl gruel.” A gentleman said to Mr. Evarts while crossing to Brooklyn on the ferry-boat: “ How sadly the Brooklyn’ scandal is affecting the public mind everywhere I” “Not at all,” re plied Lvartu; “ask that, man sitting there”—pouting to a countryman from Bay ridge, sitting near by. The question was put to the laitefi' i{ What do your fcr'ghbors think of the Beecher scandal?” “Well,” said he, “ the people in our place most generally use /cerosAne/" A printer out West. whode office is two miles from 1 any other building, and who hangs his sign o-A thifdimb of a tree, advertises for a boy. He says, “ a boy from the Country pre ferred.” Two Irishmen travelling on Gift’ Baltimore and Ohio railroad track,. came to a mile post when one of them said : “ Tread aisy, Pat; here lies a man 108 years old-h is name was Miles fiom Baltimore.” “I don’t care much about the bugs,” said Warnitzv, to the head of a genteel boarding-ltcmse, but the fad is madam, I haven’t the blood to spare; you see that yourself.” Ilcflehtly the local paper at Grass Valley said : “ The prettiest, girl in Grass Valley doesn’t carry herself straight enough when promenading.” Fora Week after all the Grass Vniisy girls stalked about like so many bean poles; and every girl said, “That horrid paper! Ma, doo’v 1 walk straight ? H • Pleasant-faced people are generally the most welei 9 me, |,nhe auction is always pleased to ice a man who. o countenance is for bidding*