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A TRIUMPHANT TOUR.
THIv Iflttfl 9ICCK-A-MUCKM KHf
MASSE ENDORSE HOLLOWAY,
THE “P. I>. MAS.
A C>r«pltic Description CJivtn By Monk
A. Uson, of the Ovation Received
By Holloway on a Recent
Trip to Box Springs. t
Box Spring, Ga., Dec. 7, 1887.—
To 1 he Enquirer-Sun—Greetings: I
have the honor of being private sec¬
retary and official stenographer to his
eminence Holloway of the P. D. S.
I will try and give the best account I
can of our memorable trip to the
Historic Cite of Bex springs. I feel
keenly my incompetency for this labor
of love. I could as easily paint the
Lily (Langtry) and gild the refined
( * M old Jewelry at the P. D. S., as
truthfully portray the happy incidents
of this excursion. We made our
start from Columbus, “the Beautiful,”
on Monday, Dec. 5, in a special
Combination Pullman Palace Sleep¬
ing Car—with Kitchen, dining room
and Parlor Attachments—which was
built especially tor “The King of
ten Centers. Although we had
tried to keep it secret, our trip had
in some way become known—and
immense crowds assembled at the
Depot, to sec us off ana bid us “bun
tripage.” The Union Car shed was
profusely decorated with the Stars
and Stripes (more Policemens stars
and striped pants thaitanythingxlse).
The time was fast approaching for us
to leave and still the Dime Store
King had not appeared—and the
people, who all love him, were begin¬
ning to grow impatient when he was
seen coming in a magnificent car¬
riage in which sat our hero, Mayor
Grimes, Mr. Albert Kirven, Mr. Soule
Redd and other distinguished citizens
The carriage was drawn byseventytwo
of the best horses the Empire stables
could furnish. vVhen the mighty
throng discovered who it was, they
set up a rebel > ell that startled the
baggage smashers and made the
hack drivers tremble, and the great
favorite of a bargain-loving people
was lifted, bodily and spiritually, from
his carriage and earned on the shoul
ders or his enthusiastic admirers, and
all the while bowing and smiling ac¬
knowledgement of the homage of a
beloved people, he was placed in, his
car. When time had been allbwed
for everybody to get a glimpse of the
distinguished traveler, the train with
its load of precious human freight
pulled out amid deafening cheers, the
blowing of bands, the booming of
cannon, the waving of handkerchiefs,
and the booming of the P. D. S. in
the distance. On our whole route
from Columbus to Box Springs we
received an ovation and outpouring
of popular love that would make
Cleveland or Davis turn green with
envy. At every cross roads and
eveiy station, immense crowds
folks and people had assemble con
tent to get only a peep at the man
who brought soap down 2 for a nickle.
We. had in the supply depart
ment of our car sixty two and thiee
quarter bushels of silver dimes
(which we moulded in the cellar the
the night before) and these our bus:
ness manager scattered with a lavish
hand which was covered with
dime-’un rings—(pun) among the
people all along our route, Other
necessaries were also libeially given
away. Every lady was given a silk
dress—every child a pair of shoes,
Every dog had a bone thrown to him.
Every cow got a bundle of fodder,
Every pig got a peck of corn, and
ever y bird a box of seed. The col
ored people plowing in the fields
were not slighted, and as they scram
bled to catch the showers of glitter
ing coin they would shout, “Vive”
La Holloway. Vive La Dime Store,
Never did mortal man receive such
humble adoration and respect. Even
the cattle in the fields and the jay
birds on the swinging limbs stood
with heads uncovered as our train
whizzed by. At “Yewpatoy” the
city was one solid mass of decoration,
trees, fences, dwellings, stores. The
First National Bank, City Hall and
all public buildings, were artistically
festooned with gay streamers of fed,
white and blue buntiug, and U. S.
flags. When the train stopped, the
“Yewpatoy” silver cornet brass band
struck up that popular air, “The
Dime Store’s Mission,” to which was
added the wild cheering of the expect
ant crowd. Then a long procession
headed by mounted police, and fol¬
lowed by the mayor of “Yewpatoy”
and other distinguished citizens in
carnages, came up. Then came the
Odd Fallows and Masons of Yewpa¬
toy, and other societies, all bearing
banners and mottoes with such in
scriptions as these : “He works for
us”— “Down with high prices”—
“Long live the P. D. S.”—“He
brought down the prices,” and
numerous others. Mr. Hollo
way was called for, and on
his appearance was lustily cheered,
but being quite feeble was advised
by his private physician against at¬
tempting to speak. So his friends
had to be content with a simple shake
of the hand, and the babies, with a
kiss. There was Holloway Jones
and P. D. S. Smith, and Dime Store
Brown, and P. D. S. Jackson, and
hundreds of other namesakes, and
they all had to be kissed. Then the
true nobility of the man shone out
like a nickle shine on a six dollar
shoe. With all the natiye grace with
which he wraps up a Dime Wash Pan
—he kissed them all, and with the
air of a martyr who is determined to
do his duty, or die in the attempt, he j
looked on the smiling faces of those
happy mothers and said “this is the
happiest moment of my life.” He
said it with the greatest San froid I
! (but he soon sang another tune)
j when he had retired and the train
! moved on he showed signs of fainting
from the terrible ordeal, his physician
was obliged to prescribe 1 qt of 4 J.’s
(John Jones’ Jig Juice), which Mr.
Holloway drank internally and seem
ed much refreshed. The rest of our
trip was without special incident until
we reached our destination. Here
our reception was on a more grand
pair of scales,if possible,than at Yew
patoy. We were met at the Union
depot by a delegation of citizens, who
officially tendered Mr. Holloway the
j liberty of the city. Although it was
eany in the morning when we left
fC it had already grown dark and
the city was one grand blaze of elec
trie lights, fancy decorations, and fe
male beauty. Mr. Holloway was
j finally prevailed on to speak at the
Box Springer Opera House that
I night, and all the beauty and all tal
ent of the city came out. The Speak
i er’s stand was spanned by an arch of
flowers, bearing this inscription in
letters of gold: “He saves H u§ ,100
per cent.” Mr. Holloway was intro
duced by the mayor in these wqrds:
“Fellow-citizens: Their stands 5 ®
fore you to flight thfc ' friend of the
poor and the favorite of the rich.
One wno has fought nobly the battle
against high prices, and won a glori
ous victory. I take pleasure in :n '
troducing, ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
J. K. Holloway, of the ‘Prince of
Dime Stores. > tf Mr. Holloway said:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends,
Romans, countrymen, lovers, every¬
body and his poor kin—Hear me for
my cause, and keep yarn mouths
shut so you can listen. I stand before
you to-night because—because I don’t
see anything convenient to sit down
on—and earnestly hope that my
words may fall upon the bass drum
of your ears “like silver spray upon
a sea of molten gold,” or like the po¬
etical pitter patter of the rain on a
ffifty cent umbrella. (Applause.) My
friends,this is the..proudest day of my
life. (Applause.) When I look be¬
fore me *nd jiee all this beauty, re¬
finement, and wealth, and think that
only a century ago, the ground upon
which your grand city now stands,
was a howling wilderness in which the
picnic red bug roamed undisturbed,
and the sand splitter lizard lived and
died ignorant of the fun he was miss¬
ing, in having nobody’s briches leg
to crawl up (applause)—when I think 1
that with indomitable will, with a !
never yielding energy, and a tireless
perseverance you overcome every
obstacle to progress, and hewed away
every barrier to advancing civilization,
and at the end of only one short hun
dred years found yourselves the.noble
founders and the happy possessors of
— Q f— 0 t a grocery store and a biack
smith shop, I am lost in wonder and
admiration. (Great applause.) But,
my kind friends, were you allowed to
eat the fruits of your labors and drink
the sweet cup of satisfaction in peace?
Echo telephones back “not by a
darned sight.” The cruel north turn¬
ed loose the Dogs of war and they
soon had Box Spring up a tree as it
were—that fell demon Sherman’s
raid coming down on you like a hawk
onto a chicken and knocked you to
the middle of next week. (Applause.)
Then what did you do, my friends ?
Did you sit around and drip lie from
your lost hopes—deposited in the
ashhopper of Hate and watered by
the tears of “what might have been?”
Did you sit down and grieve over
spilt milk ? No!!! No, l say, with
a capital N, you did nothing of the
kind, but in the language of Josh
Billings, you grabbed up a bucket
and went for another cow. (Great
Applause.) You come together like
brothers and men, united in a noble
cause, and the Box Spring of to-night
is a greater, nobler, box spring than
she was, when she was first box
sprung. [Renewed applause"] [A voice
jn the crowd. “I wish you would pay
me that ' quarter you--*t?we
[Mr. H. shot him with a glance of 38
calibre scorn and moistening his bps
with a pint of 4 J’s went on]: ‘My
friends, I love you. I honor you.
Long may you waive—the home
stead. (Applause.) May your no
ble deeds stand out on the pages of
history. Try as conspicuously as—
as—the tobacco juice on your shirt
bosoms. (Hisses) [A voice: “He
looks just like the fellow that stole
Bill Jackson’s mule.”] Here Mr. H.
paused long enough for our private
anarchist to get the disturber’s name.
When the proper time comes he
will be made to swallow one of those
two edged P. D. in S. Booms—there’s
plenty of people Columbus who
can tell him how they taste. The
speaker continued: “As I was going
to say when I was interrupted by that
paid hireling of wouldbe competition:
“May your shadows never grow less.
May you live? for a thousand years.
May h-H have the privilege of
seeing you decently buried
and then may the grass on youi
graves forever grow as — green—
as—green as—green my friends as
you seem to be. (Great cheering.)
Or, in the language of the immortal
Billy Shakespeer — “E pluribus
unum.” (Applause.) “Multum in
parvo.” (cheers.) “Vox populi, vox
Devit.” (Applause) —or —or— any
other man.” (Tremendous cheering
and vociferous applause.) It is ira
Pf s,ble for ™ l ° ,a * at lbe P res ' nt
when we wi*l return home, as this
hospitable people seem determined to
k CC p us as long as possible,
J Yours, v Monk A. Uson.