The Hamilton journal. (Hamilton, Ga.) 1889-1920, March 15, 1889, Image 3

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REV. DR. TARMAC E. THE BROOKLYN DIVINE’S SUN¬ DAY SERMON. Subject: “ Shall America be Reserved for Americans 1” Text: "And hath made of ona blooi all nations —Acts xvii.> -6. That is. if for some reason general phle¬ botomy were ordered, and standing in a row were an American, an Englishman, a Scotch¬ man and an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Ger¬ man, a Norweigan, an Icelander, a Spaniard, an Italian, a Russian and representatives their right of ad other nationalitities bared arm and a lancet were struck into it, the blood let out would have the same characteristics, for it would be red,complex, fibrine, globuline, chlorine and containing sulphuric acid, potassium, phosphate of mag¬ nesia and so on, and Harvey and Sir Astlev Cooper and Richardson and Zimmerman and Brown-Sequard and all the scientific doctors, allopathic, homeopathic, hydropathic and eclectic, would agree with Paul as, standing on Mars Hill, his pulpit a ridge of limestone rock fifty feet high and among the proudest people and most exclusive and undemocratic Of the earth, he crashed into all their prejudices by declaring in the words of my text that God had made “of one blood all nations.” The countenance of the five races of the human family educa¬ may be different as a result of climate or tion or habits, and the Malay will have the projecting upper jaw, and the Caucasian the oval face and small mouth, and the Ethiopian the retreating forehead and large lip, and the Mongolion the flat face of olive hue, and the American Indian the copper-colored aud com¬ indi¬ plexion. but the blood is the same cates that they all had one origin and that Adam and Eve were their ancestor and an¬ cestress. I think God built this American continent and organized this United States Republic the to demonstrate the stupendous idea of text. A man in Persia will always remain a Persian, a man in Switzerland will always remain a Swiss, a man in Austria will always remain an Austrian, but all foreign nationalties coming to Amer¬ ica were intended to be Americans This land'is the chemical laboratory where foreign bloods are to be inextricably mixed up and race prejudices * and race is antipathies by are to perish, and this sermon an hard ax for which I hope to kill them. It is not me to preach such a sermon, because, al¬ though my ancestors came to this country about two hundred aud fifty years ago, some of them came from Wales and some from Scotland and some from Holland and some from other lauds, and I am a mixture of so many nationalities that I feel at home with people from under every sky and have a right to call them blood relations. There are mad¬ caps and patriotic lunatics in this country who are ever and anon crying out: “Amer¬ ica for Americans.” Down with the Ger¬ mans ! Down with the Irish! Down with the Jews! Down -with the Chinese! are in some directions the popular cries, all of which vociferations 1 would drown out by the full organ of my text, while I pull out the stops and put my foot on the pedal that will open the loudest pipes, and run my fingers over all the four banks of ivory keys, playing the chant: “God hath made of one blood all nations.” There are not five men in this audience, nor five men in any audience to-day in America except it be bn an Indian reserva¬ tion, who were not descended from foreigners if you go far enough back. The only native Americans are the Modocs, the Shawnees the Chippewas, the Cherokees, the Chicka saws, the Seminoles and such like. If the principle America only for Americans be carried out, then you and I have no right to be here and we had better charter all the steamers and clippers and man-of-war and yachts and sloops and get out ot this country as quick as possible. The Pilgrim Fathers were all immigrants, the Huguenots all im¬ migrants. The cradle of most every one of our families was rocked on the bank of the Clyde or the Rhine or the Shannon or the Seine or the Tiber. Had the watchword “America for Americans” been an early and successful cry. where now-stand our cities would have stood Indian wigwams, and canoes instead of steamers would have tracked the Hudson and the Connecticut; and instead of the Mississippi being the main artery of the continent, it would have been only a trough for deer aud antelope and wild pigeons to drink out of. What makes the cry of “America for Americans” the more absurd and the more inhuman is that some in this -country who themselves arrived here in their boyhood or arrived here only one or two generations back are joining in the cry. Escaped from foreign “Shut despotisms the themselves they others.” say: Getting them¬ door of escape for selves. on our shores in a life boat from the shipwreck saying: Haul the boat on the beach and let the rest of the passengers go to the bottom! Men who have yet on them a Scotch or German or English or Irish brogue eryingout,America.for Americans! Whatif the native inhabitants of Heaven, I mean the angels, the cherubim, the seraphim born there, should stand in the gate and when they see us coming up at the last should say: “Go baek! Heaven for the Heavoniam!" Of course we do well not to allow foreign nations to make this country a convict colony. We would have a wall built as high as heaven and as deep as hell against foreign thieves, pickpockets and anarchists. We would not (et them wipe their feet oil the mat of tha outside door of Castle Garden. If England or Russia or Germany or France send here their desperadoes to get clear of them. we would have these des eradoes sent back in chains the places where they came from. We will not have America, become the dumping place for foreign vagabond¬ ism. But you build up a wall at the Narrows before New York harbor, or at the Golden Gate before San Francisco, and forbid the coming of the industrious and hard working and honest populations of other lands who waut to breathe the air of our free institutions and get op ¬ portunity for better livelihood, aud ft is only a question wall of ‘time flat when oSr God will tumble that on own heads with the red hot thunder¬ bolts of His omnipotent indignation, voo ere a father nndyou have five children, me perior is tne best room in your nousi. Your son Philip ‘John, says to toe lire other four ehil - dren: “Now, you iu the smalt room in the end of the hall and stay there: George, you live in the garret and stav there"; Mary, you live in the cellar and stay there: Fannie, you live in the kitchen and stay there. I. Philip, will tak9 the par¬ lor. It suits me exactly. I like the pictures on the wall. I like the lambrequins at the windows. I like the Axminster od the floor. Now, I, Philip, propose to occupy this parlor and 1 command you to stay out. The parlor only for Philippians. ” You, the father, hear of this arrangement and what will you do? You will get red in the face and say: “John, come out of that small room at the end of the hall: George, come down out of the garret; Mary, come up from the cellar; Fannie, come oat of the kitchen, ann go into the parlor or anywhere you choose: and, Philip, for your I greediness for and onbrotherly in~ behavior, put you two hours the dark closet under the stairs.” God is tfcp Father of the human race. He has at least five sons, a North American, a (South American, a European, an Asiatic and an African. The North American sniffs the breeze and he says to his four brothers and sisters: “Let the South American stay in South America, let the European stay in Europe, let the Asiatic stay in Asia, let the African stay in Africa; but America is for me. I think it is the parlor of the whole earth. I like its carpets of grass and its npholstery ot the front window, namely the .American sunrise, n a the upholstery of the back window, namely the American sunset. Now 1 want you all to stay out and keep to your places.” I am sure the Father of the whole human race would hear of it and chastisement would come, drought and, whether by earthquake or flood locust or aud or heaven darkening swarms angel of grasshopper or destroying of pestilence, God would rebuke our selfish¬ ness as a nation and say to the four winds of heaven: “This world is my house and the North American is no more my child than is the South American and the European and the Asiatic and the African, And I built this world for all the children, and the parlor is theirs and all is theirs.” For, let me say, whether we will or not, the population of other lands will come here. There are harbors all the way from Baffin's Bay to Galveston, aud if you shut fifty gates there will be other gates un¬ guarded. And if you forbid for¬ eigners from coming on the steamers they will take sailing vessels. And if "you forbid them coming in boats. on sailing And vessels they will come if you will not let them come in boats they will come on rafts. And if you will not al¬ low wharfage to the raft they will leave it outside Sandy Hook aud swim for free America. Stop them? You might as well pass a law forbidding a swarm of summer bees from lighting on the clover top, or pass a law forbidding the tides of the Atlantic to rise when the moon puts under it silver grap¬ pling hooks, or a law that the noonday sun should not irradiate the atmosphere. They have come. They are coming now. They will come. And if 1 had a voice loud enough to be heard across the seas 1 would put it to the UGmost tension and cry: Let them come' You stingy, selfish,shriveled up, blasted souls who sit before your silver dinner plate piled up with breast of roast turkey incarnadined with cranberry, cramming your fork full and your mouth full and down the superabundance terrorized, let till millions your digestive of organs are the your fellow-men have at least the wishing bone. But some of this cry, America for Ameri¬ cans, may arise from au honest fear lest this land be overcrowded. Such persons had better take the Northern Pacific or Onion Pacific or Southern Pacific or Atlantic aud Char¬ lotte air line or Texas and Santa Fe, and go a loag journey and find out that nc more than a tenth part of this continent ’ fully cultivated. If a man with a hundred acres of farm land should put all his cultiva¬ tion on ana acre he would be cultivating a larger ratio of his farm than our na¬ tion is now occupying of the national farm. Pour the whole human race, Europe. Asia, Africa and all the islands of the sea, into America and there would be room to spare. AU the Rocky Mountain barrennesses and all the other American deserts are to be fer¬ tilized, and as Salt Lake City and much o! Utah once yielded not a blade of grass, now by artificial irrigation have become gardens, that so * large part of this continent now is too poor to grow even thistle, a mullein stalk or a Canada will through artificial irrigation like an Iltinois prairie wave with wheat or like a Wisconsin firm rustle with corn tassels. Beside that, after perhaps continent a century or two mere, when this is quite well occupied, the tides of im¬ migration will tarn the other way. Politics and governmental affairs be ing corrected on the ‘Other side of the waters, Ireland under diff erent regulation turned intc a garden will invite back another generation of Irishmen, and the wide wastes ol Russia brought from under despotism will with her own green fields invite baek another generation of Russians, And there will be hundreds of thousands of Americans every year settling on the other continents. And after a number of cen¬ turies, all the earth full and crowded, what then? Well, at that tim3 some night a panther meteor wandering through the heavens will put its paw on our world and stop It, and putting its panther tooth in to the neck of its mountain range will shake it lifeless as the rat terrier a rat. So I have no more fear of America being overcrowded than that the porpoises-in the Atlantic Ocean will become so numerous as to stop shipping It is through mighty addition of foreign pooulation to our native population that I think God is going to fill this land with a race of people 95 per cent, superior to any¬ thing the world has ever seen. Inter¬ marriage of families and intermarriage of nations is depressing and crippling. Marriage .outside of one’s own nationality and witn another Wnat style of nationality Scotch-Irish is a mighty gain. makes the second to no pedigree for brain and stamina of character, so that blood goes right up to supreme court bench and to the front Tank in juris¬ prudence and merchandise and art? Because nothing under heaven can be more unlike than a Scotchman and an Irishman and the descendants of these two conjoined nation¬ alities, unless rum flings them, All go right to the tip tap in everything. nationalities coining to this land the opposites will all the while be affianced, aud French and German will unite and that will stop all the quarrel between them, aud one child they will .call Alsaes and the other Lorraine. Aud hot-blooded Spaniard will unite witn cool-blooded Polander and romantic Italian with matter of fact Norwegian, and a hundred and fifey years from now the race occupying this’ land will in be liquidity in stature of in purity of complexion, in like eye, in gracefulness intelligence of poise, dome morals brow, in taste, in and in so far ahead of anything now known oa either side the seas that this last quarter of the nineteenth century will seem to them like the Dark Ages. Oh. then how they will legislate and bargain aud pray and preach and govern! This is the land where by the mingling of raees the race prejudice feels is to get its death blow. How Heaven abouD it we may conclude from the fact that Christ, the .Jew, and descended from a Jewess, nevertheless provided a religion for all races, and that Paul, though' a Jew, be¬ came the chief apost.e of the Gentiles, an l tjpat recently God has allowed to burst iu splendor upon the attention of th9 world Hirsca. the Jew, who after giving ten million dollars to Christian churches and hospitals, has called a committee of nations and fur -ushed them with iorty million dollars for sehools to elevate his race in France and Ger¬ many and Russia to higner intelligence and abolish, as he says, fifty the prejudices against tueir race, these million dollars not given in a last will and testament and at a time when a man must leave his money anyhow, but by donation at fifty-five years of age and^in good health, utterly eclipsing all benevolence since the world was created. I must confess there was a time when 1 entertained race prejudice, but thanks to Go l, tnat prejudice has gone, and if I sa: in church and on one side of me there was a black man and on the other side of me was an Indian and before me was a Chinaman and behind me a Turk, I would be as happy as I am now standing in the presence of this brilliant audience.and I am as happy now as 1 can be and live. The sooner we gat this corpse of race prejudice buried, the healthier will be our American atmosphere. L^t eacn one fetch a spade and let U3 dig its grave clear on down deeper and deeper till we get as far down as the center of the earth and half way to China, but no further le3t it poison those firing on the other side the earth. Then into .his grave let down the accursed carcass ot race prejudice and throw on it all the mean things that have ever bean said and written between Jew and Gentile, between Turk and Russian, between Mongolian English and .French, between and anti Mongolian, between black and white, and put up over that grave for tombstone soma scorched and volcanic jagged chunk ot scoria spit out for'epitaph: by some "Here eruption lies and chisel on it the carcass of one who cursed the world. Aged, near sis thousand years. Departed this life for the oerdition from whence it came. No peace to i f « ashes!” Now, iu view of this subject, I have two point blank words to utter, one suggesting what foreigners ought to do for us, and the other what we ought Lay to do for foreigners. First, to foreigners. aside all apologetic air and realize you have as much right as any man who was father not only himself grandfather born hero but his and his and great-grandfather Englishman? before Though him. during Are you Revolutionary an fathers treated the war your our atoned fathers for roughly. by England to has this more than that giving coun¬ try at least two denominations of Chris¬ tians, the Churcii Witness of England magnificent and the Methodist Church. the liturgy of the one and the Wesleyan hallelu¬ jahs of the other. And who shall ever pay England for what Shakespeare and John Milton and Woodsworth and a thousand other authors have done for America? Are you a Scotchman! Thanks for John Knox’s Bresbyterianisrn; the bal¬ ance wheel of all other denominations. And how shall Americans ever pay your na¬ tive land for what Thomas Chalmers and Macintosh and Robert Burns and Christo¬ pher North and Robert McCheyne and Candlish and Guthrie have done for Americans! Are you a Frenchman? We cannot forget your Lafayette, who in the most desperate time of our American revolu¬ tion, New York surrendered and our armies flying in retreat, Monmouth espoused our and cause Fork and at Brandywine and under eternal obliga¬ town put all America tion. And we cannot forget the coming to the rescue o” our fathers Rochambeau and his French fleet with six thousand armed men. Are you a German? We have not forgotton the eleven wounds through which your Baron De Kalb poured out his life blood at the head of the Maryland battle and Delaware troops in the disastrous at Camden, and after we have named our streets and our cities and counties after him we have not paid a tithe of what we owe Germany for his valor and self sacrifice. And what about Martin Luther, the giant German who made way for religious liberty for all lands and ages ? Are you Polaader ? How can we forget bones your brilliant Count PulasKi, whose were laid in Savannah River after a mortal wound gotten while in the stirrups of one of the fiercest cavalry charges of the American revolution? But with no time to particularize I say: “All hail to the men and women of other lands who come here with honest purpose!’ Re lounce all obligation to foreign despots. Get Take the oath of American allegiance. Don’t talk out your naturalization papers. fact against our institutions, for the that you came here and stay shows that you like ours better than any other. If you don’t like them there are steamers going out of our ports almost every day, aud the tare is cheap and,lest you snould be detainee for parting civilties, I bid you good-by HOW. Bat if you like it here, then 1 charge you, at the ballot box, ill legislative hall, in churches aud everywhere lie out and out Americans. Do not try to establish here the loose foreign Sab¬ baths or transcendentalism spun into a re¬ ligion of mush and moonshine, or all foreign thiev¬ libertinism or that condensation of ery, scoundrelism, lust, murder and perdi¬ tion which in Russia is called Nihilism and in France called Comiiiunism and in America jailed Anarchism. Unite with us in making by the grace of God the fifteen million square miles of America on both sides the Isthmus of Panama the paradise of virtue and re¬ ligion. * My other word suggests what Americans ought to do for foreigners. By all possi¬ ble' means explain to them our institutions. Coming here, the vast majority of them know about as much concerning Republican or in Democratic form of government politics as you of the United States know about Denmark or Franco or Italy or Swit¬ zerland, namely nothing. Explain to them that liberty in this country means liberty to do right, but not liberty to do wrong. Never in their presence say anything against cneir native land, for, no matter how much they may have been oppressed there, in that native land there are sacred places, cabins or mansions around whose doors they played, and perhaps somewhere there is a grave into which they would like, when life’* toils are over, to be let, down, for it is mother’s grave, aud it would be like going again into, the loving arms that first held them, and against the bosom that first pillowed them, My! my! how low down a man must have scended to have no regard for Don’t the mock place where his cradle was rocked. their brogue or their stumbling ate all tempts at the hardest of languages to learn. namely the English language. I warrant that they talk speak English as well as you could Scandinavian. Treat them in America as you would like to be treated if for the sake of your honest principles or a better liveli¬ hood for yourself or your family you bad moved under the shadow of Jungfrau, »r the Rigi, or the Giant’s Causeway, or the Bohemian Forest, or the Fran¬ conian Jura. If they get homesick, as some of them are, suggest to them that God is as near to help them here as He was near them before they crossed the Atlantic, and that the soul’s final flight is less than a second whether from the beach of the Caspian Sea or the banks of Lake Erie. Evangelize their adults through the churches and their chil¬ dren through the schools and let home missions and tract sqcietie3 and the Bible translated in all the languages of these for¬ eign people have full swing. instead Rejoice as Christian patriots that joeing an element of weakness the foreign people thoroughly evangelized will be our mightiest defence against all the world. The Congress of the United States recently ordered built new forts all up and down our Ameri¬ can coasts, and a new navy is about to be projected. But let me say that three hun¬ dred million dollars expended in coast foreign de¬ fense will not be so mighty as a vast copulation living in America. With hun Ireds of thousanls of Germans in New York, Germany would as soon think of oombshelling Berlin as attacking us. With Hundreds of thousan is of Frenchmen in New York, France would as soon think of firing on Paris. With hundrels of thousands of Englishmen in New York, England would as soon think of destroying London. The mightiest defence against Euro¬ pean nations is a wall of Europeans reaching all uo and down the American con¬ tinent, a wall of heads and hearts conse¬ crate! to free government. A bulwark of foreign humanity heave 1 up Atlantic all along Ocean, our shores, re-enforced by the armed as it is with temptests and Caribbean whirlwinds and giant billows ready to fling mountains from their catapault, we need as a nation fear no one in the universe but God, and if found in His service we need not fear Him. As six hundred million people will yet sit down at our national table, let God preside. To Him be dedicated the metal of our mine3, the sheaves of our harvest fields, the fruits of oar orchards, the fabrics of our manufactories, the telescopes of observa¬ tories, the volumes of our libraries, the songs ot our churches, the affections ot our hearts. ami fonts and all all our lakes become altars baptismal praise our mountains of and all and our valleys amphitheatres become of wor¬ fifty ship, our country, having nations consolidated into one, may its every heart throb be a pulsation blood of gratitude to Him who made “or one all nations” and ransomed that blood by the payment of the last dron of His own._ OLD GOLD AND SILYEP How the Melting-Pot is Supplied Fine Heirloom in Danger. “Best prices paid for old gold and sil¬ ver," is a sign which can be seen from the windows of the Third Avenve ele¬ vated oars, painted over the door of a gloomy-lookiug shop not far from the entranoe to the East River Bridge. A reporter entered this place one day' Inst week, and as he did so, a crack-voiced bell over the door made such a jaggling that it woke up a rod-headed parrot on a perch behind the counter, and made him screech in sympathy. A little, el¬ derly man, the proprietor of the shop, then came forward to inquire explained the vis itor’s errand. The reporter that he wished to find out what sort of people sold old gold and silver, and that kind of articles they had for sale. “There are so muuy kinds shopkeeper, of people who deal with me,” said the that I have never attempted to classify them. My customers are rarely would from the wealthier classes. You nat¬ urally reply , ‘Of course not,’ but wealthy people become pressed do for their money jewelry at times, and when they or plate generally goes first. The pawn¬ shops get more of this class of trade than w e do, for pawnbrokers will pay more as a rule. There is one character¬ istic of my patrons which is very not¬ iceable, aud that is that all of them in variably believe they should get twice as much for their articles as they sell, but are worth. They almost always generally look as if they thought they were being cheated. We sometimes get hold of articles the workmanship of which is exquisite, costing originally many times more than the metal it elf. Unless, however, wo are pretty confident that we can sell them at a good price on account of their beauty and antiquity, they go into the melting pot with the rest. Once in a while X keep an article which it seems almost a pity to melt. Such a one is the scabbard of a sword which a gentleman brought in here one day. It is solid silver snd most beauti¬ fully engraved aud chased. He told me that it was a family heirloom,winch hftd descended to him from his great great¬ grandfather. Absolute necessity added, com¬ pelled him to part with it, ho but he begged mo to keep it aw hile, ns he hoped to be able to redeem it. He seemed to feel so strongly about it that I promised, but he has never been after it, although it was five years ago that he brought it here. I paid him about $80 for it, its value as old silver, al¬ though it must have cost between $400 and $500. I suppose I shall melt it up before long now. ” “Do you keep intact much of the stuff you buy ?” “Not much 1 Sometimes a friend asks ns to save a set of spoons or forks for him; but usually everything goes into the melting pot. Sometimes, in buying a lot of old silver, real, plated but articles not are mixed in among the we are often deceived that way. I can tell you, though, that some grandmothers of the plated used spoons that our would almost take iu an expert, so thick¬ ly are they coated with silver. They made things to Inst in those days, you know.” “How can you tell whether an article is silver?” “By its weight, principally, When and h«s by its general appearance, one handled gold and silver for any length of time, it is pretty hard to deceive him. Gold articles are tested with acids. Most af our customers are men—that is to say, they are the ones who bring us any considerable quantities. jewelry; but, Women naturally bring more that dispose of, even they when send they have with to it nine will a man in cases out of ten.”— N. Y. Post. A Remarkable Volcano. The city of San Salvador, the capital or the smallest and most populous founded Cen¬ in tral American Republic, was almost 1528. It has been three times entirely and.eleven times partially volcanic de¬ stroyed by earthquakes and eruptions. It is eighteen miles from the sea coast, has an elevation of 2,800 feet, and is surrounded by a group of volcanoes, two of which are active, San Niguel and Jzal o, and present a magni¬ ficent display to the passengers of steam¬ HI’S i-ailing along the coast, constantly discharging masses of Java which flow down their sides in blazing torrents. Izaioo is regular as a clock, the erup¬ tion oocuriiig like the beating of a mighty pulse, every seven minutes. It is impossible to conceive of a grander spectacle timn this monster, rising 7,« 000 leet almost directly from tlxe sea, an immense volume of smoke like a plume continually pouring out of its summit and broken with such regularity by masses of flame rising 1,000 feet, that it has been named El Faro del Salvador— the Lighthouse of Salvador. It is in many respects the most remarkable vol eano in this world, because its dis¬ charges have continued so long and witti such regularity, and because the tumult in the earth’s bowels is always to be heard. Its explosions are constant, and arc audible a hundred miles off. It is the oniy ' oh-auo that has originated on by this continent since the discovery plain in Columbus. It arose from the the spring of 1770 in the midst of what had been for nearly a hundred years a magnificent coffee and indigo planta tion .—Guatemala Slur. John T. Hunter, a Philadelphian, claims to have been the first man to en ist in 1861. He telegraphed Goveuor Curtin offering his services April 16. The Old Home. In the quiet shadow of twilight I stand by the garden door. And gaze on the old, old homestead, So cherished and loved o yore. But the ivy now is twining Untrained o’er window and wall; And no more the voice of the oh 1 Iren Is echoing through the halt. Through years of pain and so r >w, Since first I had to p rt, The thought of the dear old homestead Has lingered around my he ut; The porch embowered with roses The gables’ drooping eaves And the song of the birds at twilight Amid the orchard leaves. And the forms of those who loved mo In the happy childhood years Appear at the dusky windows, Through vision dimmed with tears. I hear their voices colling From the shadowy far away, And I stretch my arms towar 1 them In the gloom cf the twilight gray. But only the night winds answer, As I cry through the di-mal air; And only the bat comes swooping From the darkness of its liar. Yet still the voice of my childh j d Is calling from far away, And the faces of those who loved mo Smile through the shadows gray. HUMOROUS. The National Game—Politics. Seldom on fire—Smoking jackets. A large snowdrop—An avalanch. Committee on the whole—Well dig gers. The best way to kill a falsehood is to let it lie. The elements are angry when the waterspout. The guillotine block is one, of the French polling places. Some men are always willing to stand up for the ladies, excepting perhaps in a horse car. The muskrat may be considered a lucky animal, because he is never with¬ out a scent to his name. A philosopher once remarked that he helped elect a certain man to Congress because he was so lazy he couldn’t do any harm. The man with the glass eye has the great consolation that he is putting on more style than his neighbor; he has a stained glass window to his soul. Smith (to Robinson, cigar dealer)—I gee you have changed your storp again. Burnt out? Robinson (whose last store was seized by Sheriff)—No; fired out. Adding insult to injury.—First Shop ping Fiend—Madam, that’s my muff! Second Shopping Fiend—Why, how inexcusably stupid of me to pick up an imitation monkey-skin! “I suppose,” said the visitor, “you get used to lift in Sing Sing?” “Oh, indeed, yes,” replied the prisoner. “We get very much attached to the old place. That is why we don’t leave it soouer.” “My dear young lady,” said a gushing artist to her, “you are positively lovely? Wouldn’t you like me to do you in oil!” “Sir,” exclaimed her father’s pride, in¬ dignantly, “do you take me for a sar¬ dine?” The Duke of Soggcrvath—“ Do you know, me dear young lady that Ini tempted to carry home one of you American gyrls myself?” Miss Crisp—“ You’d have to curry her, your grace.”— Judge. “No,” s,-ud Mrs Shoddie, “we have to pay our fare nowadays, ns the railroad companies will not give Charles passes on account of this nasty real estate com¬ merce law,” and then she sighed and made faces at the railroad corporation. Tourist (to stage driver-in the Yellow¬ stone region)—Are there any wonderful .curiosities to he seen in this region, dri¬ ver? Stage jltivct —Wonderful curiosi¬ ties! Well, I should say there were! Why, you drop a rock down that gorge, come back in three days and you cau hear the echo. It seems that the Esquimaux name their children after the expressions they hear used by English sailors. If a Sun¬ day school should ever be established among those blubber eaters, it would not seem at all sweet and edifying to hear the youngsters pipe up such names as “Go-to-JIalifax.” A Blind Young Colored Prodigy. Oscar Moore, a blind negro boy not quite four years of age, is the latest you thful prodigy * *, Little .M ore has a memory that ... Macaulay might .... have envied. . , He can recite poems and sing songs in English, ♦ German, and Danish. Ilia parents are very ordinary negroes, and the wonder is where he learned all that he knows.— liar per'$ Bazar.