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BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM -V. VARIOUS SOURCES. ■-The National Flour—No Alternative — Rather Glad Than Other¬ wise—Johnnie Visits the , Pawnshop, Etc., Etc. | Upon the hill the golden rod, With royal grace in every nod, Salutes the sun, as far away \ He heralds forth the joyous day. Dainty in form, with perfume sweet, Arbutus, Expands in some cool retreat, her many graces rare, And shuns the daylight’s ruthless glare. A dainty jewel richly set, ’, You find the modest violet: : Within some cool and shady grove It welcomes those who chance to rove. f * But, Who on a crisp the griddle and frosty cake with morn, scorn? sees Above them all its merits tower. The good old fashioned buckwheat flour. —Merchant Traveler. 2- NO ALTERNATIVE. Giles—“It seems dreadfully extrava¬ gant to go to such an expensive tailor.” De Jinks—“What could I do? He was the only one who would trust me.” — Epoch. * RATHER GLAD THAN OTHERWISE. Visits of ceremony. A gentleman, with his card case in hand, rings the bell. “Are Mr. and Mrs. B. at home?” “Yes, sir.” “Very well; then I'll call again.”— Judge. JOHNNIE VISITS THE PAWNSHOP. Brown—“Where is your diamond ring, my dear?" Mrs. Brown—“It is being reset. Little Johnnie (who had been out with Ids mother)—“Does the man al¬ ways give you money, ma, when you take anything to be repaired ?”—Mu meg's Weekly. THE SAMS OLD BEEFSTEAK. “What’s the- matter with the beef steak?” asked the landlady. “I don’t know,” replied the new •boarder; “but I have a horrible suspicion that the cow was afflicted with general ■ossification.”— Washington Capital. RETRIBUTION FOR A LIAR. Brown—“It’s terrible the way these -coal dealers cheat you. There’s not more than 1200 in that ton.” Little Johnnie—“Perhaps, dad, the ■coal man weighed it on the same scales as that twenty-pound fish you caught.”— Harper8 Bazar. time and costs. A couple of jail-birds were drinking ‘ogethcr when one of them took out his watch. “Bless me!” exclaimed his astonished companion, “you’ve got a watch?” “Looks like it.” “And how much did it cost you?” “Six months.”— Tid-Bits. }j SO SUDDEN. They _ climbing , . the ,, mountain , . were up side, . and coming to a steep place he deemed it proper to assist her, ana turn ing, said: “Please give me your hand?” “Oh!” she replied, with ablush, “this is so sudden. You must ask papa.”— Boston Courier. THE “GOOD-BYE” INTERMINABLE. Host—“Don’t go, Mr. Hobson, until you have heard Ethel sing “Good-bye.” Mr. Hobson—“Will she begin now?” Host—“Yes, at once.” Mr. Hobson—“Well, I’m obliged to go, but I’ll drop around in an hour or so and ,, hear the , end , tne „ —Rochester _ . or song. Pos<.-Express. A LIGHT AND AIRY PUN. “Oh, George,” she murmured, “I know you are strong and will protect me, yet even now,as we recline in this ing hammock, I am surrounded by fear.” “Fear, my darling?” said George de Romelyy, “what fear can surround you?” “Atmosphere!” she chuckled, and the hammock broke down to punish her.— Laurence American. A SERIOUS CASE. Mrs. Briske—“Johnny, did the doctor call while I was out?” Little Johnny (stopping his play)— “Yes’m. He felt my pulse an looked at my tongue, and shook his head and said it was a very serious case, and he left this prescription and said he'd call again be¬ fore night. ” Mrs."Briske—“Gr-clous me! It wasn’t you I sent him to see; it was the baby.” —New York Weekly. " • a RISING MAN. “Now,” said a traveling man. “there is a risinu man over there by the tree box.” - ' ........ “Politician?” “No.” “Writer?” “No.” ‘•What is he?” “He's an aeronaut ."—Merchant True tier. irrepressible BCR-i again. Bobby—“I do hope. Clara, that you and Mr. Simpkins will play cards to -fiight; I want to watch you.” can’t Miss Cmra—’-Why, Bobby, I, play cards; what put such an idea into your head?” * Bobby—“Yes, you can; I heard pa tell ma that you wouldn't have any trouble about hooking Mr. Simpkins if you played your cards well .”—Kearney Enterprise. HOPE CRUSHED TO EARTH. ' “I’d like to ask you, sir,” said the young man in hesitating tones, ‘ ‘might I —might I—marry your daughter?” “Humph,” replied her father, 4 ‘You might—” “Thank you, sir.” “You might, I repeat, but it would be one of the most inexplicable accidents that ever happened in this country,”— Washington Capital. GAVE SIX YEARS TO HERSELF. Widow’s Daughter—“Mamma, why did you tell Mrs. Lamode that I am only eighteen when I am really twenty-four?” Widow—“Because eighteen is six years under twenty-four, my dear.” Daughter—“Yes, I know, but surely I don’t need the benefit of those six years at my age, do I?” Widow—“Not at all, my child, but I do. ’’—Binghamton Hepullican . LOVE DID NOT IMPAIR HIS APPETITE. Soldier (to cook)—“Ah, if you only knew what my emotions are, how I am drawn to you by an irresistible power— may I dare confess to you my feelings?” Cook—“Speak it right out, my dear, you know I have long been fond of you.” Soldier—“Ah, dear, good angel—but you mustn’t refuse me.” Cook—“Don’t be afraid—you make me too happy.” hungry.”— Flic Soldier—‘ ‘I—I—am - ger.de Blaeiter. THE END OF THE SEASON. Maude—“Algernon, you know a ycai ago I told you I would not marry you until you had saved $10,000.” Algernon—“Yes, but”— Maude—“And six months ago I told vou I thought we could get along on $ 1000 .” Algernon—“But still”— Maude—“Well, how. much have you by this time?” Algernon—‘ ‘Exactly $36.62. Maude—“Don’t you think that—that —that is near enough?”— Time. CLOSED FOR THE NIGHT. Sharp Parent (at head of stairs)— “Clara! It’s time for you to go to bed.” Clara (in the parlor)—“Why, pa, Mr. Greene is here!” “Oh! I beg pardon. I thought it was Mr. Brown, and I haven’t any patience with Mr. Brown. He always kisses you with such loud smacks that it wakes me up. Stay as long as you please, Mr. Greene. You are always welcome.” Mr. Greene—“Um!—thank you, but I was just getting ready to go, and I—I promised"my chum I’d York be Weekly. back eaily. Good-night !”—Neic HOW RUSSIANS MUST LOVE THETR WIVES. A Russian gentleman who has an American wife met some friends of the latter who were traveling in Europe re¬ cently, and among other things which he told them concerning her was the fact that she had been bitten by one of his bloodhounds that had started out and amuck sotos one day upon - his esta *.„ The Americans were filled with horror and were eager in their inquiries in regard to what was done and if there were any evil results from the wound. “There were no bad consequences at all,” he assured them. “I took a hot iron and burned out the wound. It smelled a little like mutton chops cook¬ ing, but I didn’t mifid that .”—New York Mercury. A LOSING SPECULATION. Mrs. Chitchat (caller)—“Why, my dear Mrs. Starvem, what is the matter? y on j QoP distressed.” Mrs. Starvem (boarding-house land¬ lady)—“Oh, the awfulest thing has hap¬ who pened ! You remember Mr. Griggs, used to board here at $9 a week ."and was suc h a comfort to me?” Mrs. C.—“Yes. You said he had scarcely any teeth left, and could barely ea t a thing. Didn’t cost any more tc keep than a kitten.” M rs . g.—“That’s the one. Oh, he’s a villain! He came back yesterday, and 1 let him have board at only $8 a week, and now I find lie’s got a new set of false teeth, and eats like a horse .”—New York Weekly. THE ILLUSIVE POCKET. Yellowly—“Why, Brownly, how bad you look this morning. Diu you sleep any last nights" wink.” Brownly—“Not a Y.—“Anybody sick?” i B.—“I am.” Y.—“What’s the matter?” - B.—“Well, you see. my wife has been in the habit ot going through my pock ets at night, and I thought what was good for the gander was good for the goose, so after she fell asleep last night 1 arose and set out to go through hei pocket.” auditing?” Y.—“Get B.—“No. Searched the dress over and over, spent the whole night at it, but couldn’t find the pocket.” —Bostor Courier. A French firm recently established at San Francisco is canning large quantities 0 f c a Hf 0 mia vegetables for the European market8 . MyriadA of small black rats infest the cornfields of Texas If any d«»ler says he lias the W. I,. Donelsi Shoos w ithout name anti price stamped on the bottom, put him down as a fraud. m m E&&« .„,. w »v y) I pi*.; Wm H I ’v SBp^ a ,tS| \ S> iff* W v3 mm l&L’ W. L. DOUGLAS $3 SHOE CENTLEMEN. FOR Rent iu the world. Examine lii* *5.00 §4.00 GKNUINK HANIKSEWKD SHOE. HAND-SEWED WELT SHOE. SX50 POLICE AND FAUMK'iiS’ SHOE. **.50 EXTRA VALUE CALF SHOE. S3.35 WORKINGMAN’S BOYS’ SHOE. SHOES 83.00 ami *1.75 SCHOOL All made i:i Congress, Button and Lace. W. L. DOUGLAS S3 SHOE FOR LADIES. Best Material. Best Style. write Best Fitting. i not sold by your doaier, BROCKTON, MASS. W. L. DOUGLAS. For Sale By C • J. EDGE, * Culiimhns <»ti. The S terling Oft Manufacturers of *> 7 S! I 1 I siSsiliMisr I i wm THE STEMS PIANOS, WHICH FOH Quality of Tone, Beauty of Design, FiKSSH and adaptability for stand¬ ing in Tun© havo no equal. Every Piano Warranted for Five Years And satisfaction guaranteed to every purchaser. Also Manufacture the World-Renowned STERLING ORGAN Factories, Derby, Conn. Dobbins' Electric Soap THE BEST FAMILY SOAP IN THE WORLD. It is Strictly Pare . P-TOHIi J fj l original formula for which we paid $50,00a twenty years ago has never been modified or changed in the slightest. This soap is identical in quality to-day with that made twenty years ago. YT contains nntt'diig that can in* A Jure the Hi nest fabric, It bright ens co’ors aiid bleaches whites. YT washes flannels and blankets os no other soap them in tlie world does—without shrinking—leaving soft and white and like new. HEAD THIS TWICE emu ■orcmsmjJZWBn n qtHERE J of soap, is of a free fuel, Jit and mviBg of the fabric, of time, wiiere of labor, Dob¬ bins’ taoitH. Electric Soap is used accorilijstr to f\Ti 53 trsal will demonstrate its great merit. It will pay you to make that trial, y IKK luted all hast, thijspsw, it is extensively imi and counterfeited. Bswaro of Imitations. JNSIST ^ Magnetic, upon Electro-Magic, 1 Electric. iiiladciphiu Don’t Lkclric, fnlto or any oilier fiv.ud. simply bec.m&c :t is cheap. T.’.cy will ruin cbthes, and arc dear at any jir.ee. Ask fur ----.i>OJ?3IJT£J 5 I;L?:VV222C and take do other. Nearly every grocer from M tine to Mexico keeps it in stock, ii yours hasn't u, he 'will order from his nearcs: whoLtsa’a* gr cc.r. 'Q KAD carefully the insioe wrapper around each Jj-h bar, rnd be careful to folios iV<Si n ciUtnH or. each outside wrapper. You to wait longer before trying for yourself ih:s old, reliable, and truly vronderful Dubbins 5 ? Elect r!o4> Soaa. IS 8r IMF! vna H V six cm Bui do net use -he dar.gersus alial’no and mcraariai prepanfiiCRS which destroy your nervous system and ruin ; digestive power c? the stomach. The vegetable king¬ dom gives us the 303 ’ ar.u safest roesdial agerds. Dr. Sherman devoted ‘ha greater part of his fire to Hie discovery ci this relia¬ ble zed safe remedy, and all Sis ingredients are vegetable, tie gave if ike name ct Prickly A m % ilffsrs l a name every one can remember, anc to tha present day nothing has been discovered tha! is so beneficial for fbe OtSOO. far the LIVER, STCiVIACK. for the KIDHEYS aad for the This remedy is now so well and favorably known by all who have used if that arguments as la iis merits are use¬ less, and if others who require a correct¬ ive to the system would but give it a trial the health cf this country would be vastly improved. Remember the narno—PRICKLY ASH BITTERS, Ash your druggist for it. PRICKLY ASH BITTERS CO., ST. LOUIS, mo. NEW HOUSE! HEW GOODS! i NEW PRICES. M. L,. PARKER, HILTON, GEORGIA, -DEALER I.V General Merchandise, Dry-Goods 1 i Groceries, Boots, Shoes, Clothing, &c. Has just opened at the Hudson <P Johnston corner a stock of fresh goods which low prices and courteous treatment must sell. Cash paid for Country Produce—Chickens, Butter, Eggs, dtc. C. SCHOMBDRG WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER ■DEALES, 1ST DIAMONDS, FINE JEWELRY WATCHES, CLOCKS aid SILVERWARE, Repairing Watohes, Clocks and Jewelry a Specialty. No. 1115 Broad St, Columbus, Ga. HARRISON’S SHOE STOKE, 1132 BROAD ST., COLUMBD S, GA Everybody is invited to call and look at our stock of BOOTS AND SHOES. REGULAR “ALLIANCE” PRICES ON EVERYTHING. Hamilton Buggy Company ® IHLA-ZMIIIILTOIN - , OHIO, «< . Mamifectnrers of Hamilton Grades of Vehicles. BUGGIES. EDITORIAL SPECIAL BUGGY OP ANY STYLE VEHICLE. SPECIAL FEATURES : Proportion, Durability, Pcrfootlon of* Finish. This “ Mirror ” finish work is the best medium-priced work in the United States. I WRITE FOR CATALOGUE. HAMILTON JiUGGY GO, “Talbott” Engines; 1 BUY FROM MANUFACTUERS DIRECT AND SAVE MIDDLE MAN'S PROFIT. Engines, Boilers, Saw Mills, Corn Mills, and General Machinery Eagle” Cotton Gins, “Boss” Cotton Press, Cotton Seed Elevaters, Etc Ft, Write us for CircularsNaming Your Wants. FACTORY I TALBOTT k SONS. MACON 6 A RICHMOND, VA. J C Weaver, Manager PRICES YOU SHOULD NOT RESIST GHANOELLOB & PEAECE COLUMBUS, GA. Continue to sell every thing in their store at close prices preparatory to moving in their new quarters. The stock must be reduced at once. Clothing, Hats, Furnishing, and Evervtning. Cail or mail your orders direct to them. CHANCELLOR & PEARCE, COLUMBUS, GA. § ur Merchant and Tailoring depart¬ ment is full of the latest and most at¬ tractive Suitinasinthe south. 'j f ¥ i 7 \ f , - » 'sS a MS •V [;■ J "• m B SWwKflS fflK8§ HiJii ■ 'i l 3®ig as* f *';-! ■y.j © ju agaBS iM6r ■ :;j vSS&^t |2pf& ■Up' ■v * CARRIAGES. 50 years hpericene Established 1839