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M iscdlaneous. Prom tin* (Jeurg <ui. A CRACKER LY SAVANNAH. I am what I am, aaul up country Si*, To Pet(r Sandjlirtef, half foiey : I an junt he m tu, .your leather to tan. And O i m th ? tw>jr for to box ye ! Now keep up the fun, and wheo you are don., I‘ll shew you the up-couotrjr caper, And hull you at* clean as Sail would a beau, Or tear v. u to pieces like paper. Tho’ now lam drunk I waut not for spunk ; The Lord knows, I am able to jirk ye, Before twenty men could count each their ten. Yes, strarger, before you’d aay * Tur key.* But Ml tell vou a tale of a lark I did frail La*t Sin ay—a big Irish waiter, Who •wo'-e by old Ned, if Id grease my head, He*d awalkr me whole, like a ’lator ; Then will you said I, my lark you shall try, Ml stand v<'U awhile, that I will , And if by rn> soul you should swallow me whole, I reckon youMI have a good pill. To fight then I meant, so at it we went, When up ‘■tcps a feller,od'rot him; I‘ll take you to jail and hold you to baile He said—with my fist then 1 shot him; And loudly lie bawl’d for help, and he call'd t To some standing round for to watch me, But off then I broke, for thought I they‘d soak My jack'd and hide, if they cotch me. Now so could 1 do, my honey with you, For see here, l‘ua skin, bone and gris tle, And tough a* a not, why stranger by drot, I*d fan you as slick as a whistle. And O such a Uckm I‘d gie you my chicken, You’d know how to call me a cracker, The Lord only know! I’d beat you 1 j spose, As soft as a quid of tobacco t of the World— There is nothing that distracts the slumbers of a young man bo much as s< tting up business. Beginning the world brings With it many serious thoughts. The hopes ol success, the fears of disaster, the ligaments of tenderness, the feelings of ri valry, all work deeply upon the youthful mind, and render its nights restles and uneasy. There are some temples how ever, that are eternally delight ed with what may he called beginning of ti e world. I knew a man who began life half a doz *n times in the course of a few years, and each time with a different set of rides. He had been every thing for a time but nothing long. In conse quence he was a poor devil and will very likely die a poor devil. There is much truth and some point m the above little sketch. Beginning the world, the choosing a profession, and choosing a wife, are three things connected with life, of much difficult’ and of more im portance—Yt ung men sel dom give either of them that deliberation which is their due. The happiness of this world, and the hopes of futuri ty are connected with their de cision*, whilst propriety and reputation, or a versity and infamy are their attendant con sequences. As far as regards a profession a man should uev be too hasty in his determin ation. Almost every individu al of the human family has by nature a particular talent which when brought in requisition and applied to some exclusive object, cannot fail to be attend ed with commensurate success. But the man who vainly con ceives that lie can succeed in every thing, seldom becomes eminent in any. It is absuid policy to commence a dozen projects together, or even to be. gin a second before the first has been rendered permanent ly successful. Franklin par ticularly endeavoured to con vince young persons of the necessity of forethought, in tegrity and frugality in the ear ly career of business. 1 was never discouraged says he, by the seeming magnitude of my undertakings, as I have always thought, that one man of toler able abilities may work great and accomplish great affairs a niong mankind, if he first forms a good plan; and cutting off all amusements and employments that would divert his attention, make the execution of that plan his sole study and busi ness. To be sure it requires some little philosophy lor a young mau with a taste for pleasure, to forego all amuse ments of youth and health for the sake of his business or profession, yet if she aspires to become eminent, such a course is actually necessary, and whilst we ourselves ack nowledge the intaiibility of tliis advice, we also acknowl edge our inability to practice it. Matrimonial Rules and Maxims. i. When a young gentle man makes you an offer, hold yourself flattered by his pref erence, and be proportionahiy grateful. 3. If you accept him (which we will suppose of course,) study his temper and inclina tions, that you nay better uc commodate your own to the.n. 3. After marriage, obey bun cheerfully, even though you think him in error: it is better that he should do wrong in what he commands, than you should do wrong in objecting to it. 4. If he flatters you, do not forget that it is but flattery:’ think lowly of yourself and highly of him, or at least make him believe so. 5. If you see any imperfec jtions in your husband (which j there may be.) do not pride | yourself on your penetration in discovering them, nut on your forbearance in not print ing them outs strive to shew no superiority, but in good temp-j er. 6. Bear in mind continually, I that you are weak and depen dent; even if you are beautilul,; that it adds to your weakuess and dependence. 7. U you displease him, be the fust to conciliate and 10 mend; there is no degradation in seeking peace, or in shewing 1 that you love your husband better than your triumph. 8. If misfortunes assail you, remember that you ought to sustain your share of the bur den; imitate your husband’s foititude, or shew your own for his imitation. 9. When you rise in the morning resolve to be cheer ful for die dav; let your smiles dispel his frowns. 10. ‘Ft ke pudein conceal ing your husband’s infirmities from others; rather than in proclaiming them: you will on ly be laughed at by all your acquaintances if you tell his faults to one. 11. Endeavor rather to save than to spend your husband's money; if his fortune be large, strive to preserve it; if small, to increase it. t 2. Be not importunate or obtrusive in your fondness, and choose proper occasions for your caresses, lest they prove wearisome. 13. Finally, recollect al ways that God has made you subject to him, and that he is your natural guardian and pro tector; that you owe your hus band no Jess honor than love, and not less love than obedi ence. The following tender Dia logue, with a regular climax, will be allowed bv many to be not entirely ficticious. Mrs. Souchong— Suppose we take a trip to the springs, my dear; the weather is very hot; the fall is coming on, and I think I'm billious; they say there’s a deal of tine company there: what say you, o v sweet? Mr.Souchong—Why honey, you know 1 have to tread out |my wheat for market, while the price is up, and my corn is getting foul, I can’t spare the horses, so my duck, we can’t go. Mrs Souchong—That is no ‘.objection, my love, as we have ja spare horse, and indeed, j dear’e you look pale;’twouldj be of infinite service to you. I Mr. Souchong—The spare horse is lame, my darling, the springs are visited for pleas ure, not for health. Mrs Souchong—Oh! but we can borrow our friend Bohea’s horse, my precious; come say the word and I’ll get ready, my dear. Mr. Shouchong—l can’t af ford it, lovey. i Mrs Souchong—Why not afford it, Mr. Souchong. Mr- Souchong—because it is h—lish expensive, Mrs. Sou | chong. Mrs. Souchong—Expensive —almost every genteel family in the country has been there r man. Mr Souchong—They’re all fools then, and may go to the Devil their own way then, wo man. Mrs. Souchong—l think they haye got some sense, and are not quite as mulish as you, sir, Mr. Souchong—Mind how you talk, madam. Airs. Souchong Then if you won’t go 1 will that’s flat, husband. Air. Souchong—Then if you go, you shan’t have one cent from me, wife. Mrs. Souchong—l vow to Heaven I’ll go and see if you can hinder me. [Exit in a furious passion.] Aii. Souchong—(-‘grinning horribly a ghastly smile.”) Well! if you do go-—by—— you may walk. G EXE UAL WANTS. * What all want. A good name and plenty of money. What they sometimes get. J o \ sound drubbing for trying to assist a friend out of a scrape. What the girls want. A young Sweetheart. What they sometimes get. An antiquated buck, something on the wrong side of four or five dozen. Wha: the merchants want. To see their goods going off rapidly, and get the cash for them. What, they sometimes get. V windfall, as L* p*** did when he sold a lot of goods and took for pay a counterfeit check on the bank.—Consola tion—No matter, (said Joliny) l charged a thumping price for them. What mechanics want. As much work as they can do, and the money for it when it is done. What they too frequently get. A situation in a country building, to settle for the stock they have worked up and trusted out. What the farmers want. A good crop and a ready market j What they often get. Quite the reverse. i What we want ourselves. Lots of subscribers and a plen= ty of advertisements. What we generally get Plaguidly disappointed. An enlightened damsel being sent to a music shop hy her master for some catgut , asham ed to pronounce the vulgar word and to show her gentility } asked the shop-man for some puss's bowels,