Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

VOL. 11. THE UUiHsET Is published every Satu> day i. L.\ ROBE'S B()JS\ Warrentoriy Geo. at: three dollars per annum, which may be I discharged by two dollars and fifty 1 cents if paid within sixty days of ihe time of subscribing FROM NEAL’S VAAKi.E. COURTSHIP I woulu gi v e three quarters of all lam ‘worth in the world, and that is no trifle for me, to know how to court as our grand mothers w< reicourted, conscientiously People of no experience in the nutter; may laugh at the idea; and they who have been courting all their lives long, without ever getting ahead may pity me. But I am not a fellow to be laughed out of my Christain name, or pitied out of a fixed belief. I know what I am about, bachelor though I am; and I not only have my reasons for whal I say, but very good reasons too. There is nothing more dis ficult to go through with; nothing so rarej on earth, I do beiieve, as what I call a! conscientious courtship; a courtship, that I is, where both parties act like reasonable creatures. My brothers, who are all married and setibd in life, and who never see me without expressing a wish that I would cast anchor somewhere, late as it is, and give a pledge to posterity for my good bell viour—they would leave it all to mi tuie. Bu>. I say no Nature is never to bo ti ustod in courtship - —if she wer*-* I should have been married ages ago. Ni ture may get a fellow into a scrape, that she may—but whoever saw her help tom out of one. where the affections weic bu sy? Marriage, to be respectable or safe ninst be the marriage of the fm id. as well as of the heart—of the under funding and judgement, as well as ,ol fhp [m/urai*iauu B anl * secret longings of our na t'l'C . But to the point XS hen I w j as a you g mac I had a habit of making love—that i**, of try agio be agreeable to every pretty woman that fell in my way. I here was no harm in (hat. I hope- But as to courting, I protest to you render; I never had the heart for such a thing. Not that 1 never had the desire; not mat such stories were never told of me; for 1 cannot deny that I yearned af ter a wife, long before I knevv what a wife was good for, and that, in our village, 1 have beet) betrothed to somebody or oth* ei for nearly fifty years; although, as I hope to be— married. I was going to s;.y, though I am eld enough now to know better, I nev* r squeezed a woman s hand in my life except by accident—as where she stumbled over a ditch, or one or both slipped, we held on our way over ice, aid through snow, half leg deep in the drift , on a moonlight evening in the d< pth of January; nor have I touched the lip of a woman for the last quarter of a century, except in the way if trade, (I draw teeth* occasionally) or after a game of button,’ when 1 was obliged to ob f, v, whether I would or no,or lose a handkerchief or a penknife, and the girls were ( bilged to hoi j still, or lose their combs. But t<> rny particular case. When I first sr out in life, I determined to be married as soon as ever I could find a tol erably handsome, toler blv good t mper ed, tolerably well educated, heabhy wo man. Whose fault was it if, with such a reasonable hope—l went wandering about. 1 will not say how lor g. I will not say how far in search ofa companion. I w nted no beauty, no tp iress, no female of birth or accomplishment. On the con tra'y, I should have been satisfied with any such woman, as any reasonable man thaf knew me. my temper, habits, and condition, family and feeling would have recommended to me —Nay, 1 would have a ated something even from this, hid I been allowed to judge for myself. But though I made up mv mind to be married without delay. I was determined j not to buy a pig in a p< ke, nor ever to j marry in a liurrv, and repent ar leisire;’ but to look br for. 1 leaped— according’ to I). maxims f rtf* gnr dfather. himel an oid bachelor,'with whom they origina J * r Wis j rento'.i, (lctob< >.s j, | ,^29. lied. But how was Ito find out the real temper ami worth oft e females l knew, jit Ivveni to work at once in the shape of a j lover? How, if it was known that I was altera wife? how. without biing made icquainted with their true temper, their h‘Usehold worth, that which the married man would have to put up with, and live with all uis life long, without being allow ed to visit them on the most familiar foot ing? so go when I was invited—to go I when others were invited—would never satisfy me 1 -liould b * -ure to see mv dear in a holiday humour. No, no—l like to cat* h people in the *ud—-f like to fall upon them by surprise, wit n it is washing-day not only with their hands, but with their temper. Yo ; see now what l was obliged to do and 1 did it conscientiously—l was obli ged to give the folks an idea [ di I not mean to marry at all; ‘hat 1 was not after a wife; and then, that I might avail . myself of the stratagem (a lawful one, I | insist upon it,. whe.e a nan reailv wishes ito marry like a reasonable creature.) I was obliged to become very intimate with (he only woman I knew that appeared to be fittej) for me. She was a warm hearted, generous girl, of no great beauty to he sure, as the world goes; hut she had a ! clear eye, a rich mouth, a plenty of good ! humor, was not worth a shilling, and ap peared to be somewhat >n danger from her poverty. 1 succeed and pretty well the fi. -t week or two 1 was regarded as a n ighb.iur then as a friend, then as a sort of relation, and fi ally before the mouth was over, as an adopted brother Hang such brothers I sa>! We were on such good terms, that I was allow* and to pop in without knocking, at all reasonable hours, night oj day; o furnish her itfle bedroom with flowers; to lift her blind mother about in the old arm chair, and go h with te l, .gh the mean time, all her other beaux ithdrew, the neighbors t*n*k up the affair—and while we were and; wing ou cooclusio s, one by one, they lumped them al! togeth er, and made a match of it. What was 1 to dn? I was neither engaged nor be trothed— I might never be so—ami yet. how could 1 bear to give her up? I had never . pened my lips to the girl, or the mother, on the. subject of marriage, vet th--y and every b dv else appeared to look upon it as a settled affair. And so aft r lying awake all night, 1 concluded to do (lie conscientious tiling— fin I had become rather di* atisfied with th> way of our companionship. How were w ever to know each other heart and soul as we sli *u'd be known to each other, fir the higher and holier purposes of marriage, if we continued our intima cy? And how if we did not? I never was half so much puzzled in my life. So to cut the matter short, 1 concluded to withdraw—but to do it so gradually as to excite no remark and only w o far that I could keep . n eye on her path, and re turn to her when I pleased. This would leave us at liberty not only to judge, but to act for urselves. Header, 1 put it to you—was I to blame? Would y*u ad vise any body to buy a pig in a poke, ora wife in a holiday dress? With more wit, perhaps, I sh uld have been safe; with less I know Ish>u and But I was like the birds that are frightened away from the cor: field by a piece of rugged cloth, or a bit of woolen yarn - I knew just enough to be made a fool of with impunity.— Had I known less, I should neither have sepn nor suspected a trap; more, l should not have been frightened with a bit of a pack thread, nor have mistaken a coat j for a man. But mr beloved Bertha — who never cared a fig for the opinion of others, when it interferred with her own,’ would not give up what she insisted on calling our friendship; but begged anil prayed of me to continue to regard her, a? I always had, like a brothei—b!es the d< ar giH! —whatever the go-sip* of the neighborhood ni’ght say. It l left her now, people would think l did so on ac ci-unt of the reports —and here she blush ed crim -on—or that we had been quarrel ling. A for herself, she was determind never to be a slave to the judgement of o tL.crs. 1 f her conscience did not reproach ; tier vfi.y .oMuhl Vie n v i tile repi .MC i t others/ Nat that she would iev**r mak any saerme ev.'.n to propi i e.'ror -e ----\en io so ith pvejudi.e; bu. sue nevei w >ul I m ki a disp.opmtionate one— Here a gi iri.ra* colour overspread th * whole bread h ot her low Greek forehead and the half blown rok -s th re tremble 1 with sympathy Thure was the tran-it of a star-like and; earn ovh-her lighted sac * a g ow like that of asu um r sunset in the depth of July, over the new dipped water idy; an I uer large hazel eves ran over with big drops of lignt I comd hardly get my biestli. F<r lit o.vn part, she had never misunderstood me for a moment—‘he gipsy—and having deter mined never to marry, on ac*- iunt if her po*r blind mo her. (Iferv-nce falter ‘d, uere, an 1 it was as much as I could do to keep ftom jumping up and crying out, 1 wi 1 have you, Bertha!) she would contin ue ra be toy sister, and 1 should be her brother, let people say wliut they would There was no standing thi*. I saw <ny j danger, [knew that ray plan was ail kii ickod in the head forever, if I g ive up Yet I tow could I refuse to be her broth t. only her brother, you know? What if it should encourage a hope in her that might never be readz *1? And what if it dul drive all othpr suitors away, and seal up the charm of her youth and beauty in the flush ot her high maidenhood—why even that was no business of name, if she in sist' j d on desiring it. I knew that sh would look upon me as a lover, in spite of all her declarations to the contrary. And how could I hope to know her re al character —if her real character wa not what it should be, if I did give up, if I continued to vidt her as intimately a? b'fore*—a lover in the disguise of a b* uth er? Huv could I ever know that I wa preferred, if there was no obstacle in my wa)? Thus l argu<d with mvself. And i loved litr. iTI a- a " w me lo do otherwise Ilian I It;’" 0 verthelesg. | determined t > ue’wary, ai'oT to throw the neighbors upon a wo g seen', before they h id driven u- into eac h other's arms, in spite, of her modesty and my-conscience without allowing us to gri acquainted with each other. I played m\ pact well—very well—for in th* ee months from the day L was re instated, poor 11 tha was in a grave, and I was looked u:n> • as her destroyer—charged wwh having broken her heart As 1 live we should imve b en married but for their meddling; and at tiie moment of her death, 1 woul have gladly died with her. THE WAY TO KEEP HIM. A bout 10, !a*t evening a man wa seen coming down by Mie ->pout of a lo v three story house, in the northern part ofthe city. Several persons collected; and among them a young physician, w*i. supposing it to he a case it somuambuli-in kept the others quiet, lest the man, awak ed sudenly by noise, should fall and break his neck. When he came down, however he was found to be as wide awake as any of the starers- On being qu stioned he said he was a member of a culb which met every Thursday night. He thought he al ways came home sober, though hi?* wife said he had gone to bed drU'.k every Thursday night since he joined the club ‘The only proofshe cau bring of that,’ he added, is that I get up every Friday morn ing with my clothes on. Ju"t as l was go iug out to night, she got me to go into th garrot to set a rat trap and when I tried ts come out, 1 found she had locked me in. She said, through the key hole, ihat she would set me free if I would agree to giv up the club, and join a temperance so ciety; hut 1 had too much spunk so. thr 1. So, after working fwo or thre* hours at tiie door, I got out on the root, and here 1 anr’ Having finished - In speech, he turned off, in hopes to lini?i the evening with his croriie-, when Mr Sneak issued from *he house, accompmi pd by a Stour, thin-iipped, bare armed go sip. Each seized an arm. In spite • I poor Jerry *s struggles, they dragged Inn with great ease inlo the liou-e. and bolted the door f> r die night. Ihe audience gave thi?e cheeis and went home to bed. Phil. Chronicle Prom the J\\ 1 Evening Post. Th i .ilowing un u-* au* ei wsement .ii a.u ise our re okas. The wife in nave rather th * eat of the argument, ml toe punning * ms in wh.cli she has ciio-ea to express h r idem, as well as the comical nature of some of the id* a* them v s, are very diveitiog JYotice —VV hei eas, my wfie C'ath Pile 1’ >o .ni, has t ils and -y l ft toy n and Hod b>*ird wi h i.u any ju-t .ause to ptovoction this i* iiieietore to t rbul any person htuii* ru g or rusimg uer on my account, as I will pay uo detns he.edt-r other contracting. JEBELMAH THOKAN. Nlobii.e. S* pi. 22. To the public .—llavi .g iir.g since utt termiued i • quit my present hu-b.nul Je ledian i'uo/an, i this day acted in accor dance to my resolution and left him as J •- ust forever, unless Heaven in its wiath ay cood inn ine to his company in ono t ierst.it -i donH mean in another of the United Siutes—nor in a holy *tate,foi m suen a taie 1 never lived—but in a h* re afiei state. My husband threatened to ad v * use me if i letl hjui and 1 presume hg Wan n<t leav- Ins tin eat unaccom. li-hed, and therefore make tins statement that ihe puiilic may he furnished with both sides of ue question at me same time, ano be ilieieuy auie to judge between us, lot it must be known m t uy reputation is very dear ui me, masioui ii as it cost (lie a great deal and l.oubu to get what little 1 am pos sessed ot. Tut unu-e he took me to when we wer* fit si mai ned in had told m* so ma ny siones aooul that 1 thouglu it ha* at least three stonea, unit it all was a un re - ory-ile *tad p o used me tine fuinnu'e and wu*.o 1 pim.-d lor it tie got me a pne t hie anil ueat me witn the lei s; he h and not a chair in the ho ise, and never even fu. in hi and me wuli a stool exc< pt the stool ol repentance. 1 nevei drank tioma cup ot ms except iiom a cup ot sorrow; th re wa’ tint i vviiuJo in his house except m wi n* i, and then ttieie was wind oti e —o • 111 ior a winding sheet tor one who had died in a h , ami he was always complain ing 1 took airs up o m*s< If, when hi is the t iinr ol iwij ue r i oave. 1 must be pi ice v u that I have been a si*in>kiiigly abu-**d woman. O .ly lasi Sat- Ur >ay oigtit In- aoe tetlirig a-*d tiiidling Uji mme a**d i*q st* dto know wh-.t he siiouid send ou .o in. sh* p and get tor me and the children, a*d to la-t over Sunday, 1 .old him a cents worth of snuff, a biscuit, a candle and a half pint of ruin —now l almost nve upon snuff and he lefused Kj and it is too much for Huh .•nil blood to beat; my blood <s turned to ink, and there’s ‘haidly an atom of my anatomy,’ and Ido believe if / was dead aud properiy dated, an old fassioned snuff laker might take my remains at a pin* h. He in a huff about the snuff, and was j ist as ni bt ad i'Miceriiiog the bread; he said n<> Ight woman snou*d ave a candle, but Biiu and g to bi and without one, and in respect to the rum alone was willing to yield the pint He probably will say 1 left his bed and board— L assure the public he had nothing for a bed but aboard , and that is no better than iyin, out when I was on the point of lying iu. No longer ago than yesterday he promised to buy me a soft straw b'd to lie upon, hut / found his promises ail straw, or rather found him all promise arid no straw, and all about the lying on a soft straw bed was a hard lie on his foul tongue; since his ashes must make strong lye, when he is condemned to be hung, and to give the devil his due, the time must be near at hand, I advise him to sell his car us in anticipation to some soap boiler, fi*- may say he will pay no debts of my contracting —he is a false loon for this in sinuation it lie doe?*; 1 have always enlar ged and swelled every debt 1 owed, as much as in my power; 1 was never known t diminish or contract one in my life; and with tins not one of my creditors will charge me—to judge ot their late reiuc . nee to charge me with other ai ticleg. In conclusion like a dutiful wife /have icit no stone unturned to please my husw band but / nave, finally, borne with him Ii is past endurance, and as there is a nole even in the holy lock of wedlock, and No. 1.